Swings and Roundabouts
by creaatingmadness
Summary: 2 years ago, Bella's world came crashing down when she discovered her best friend and father's betrayal. She left everyone behind including her closest friend Edward. Now she's starting senior year at a new school. What happens when someone from her past appears? PlayerBella and BadBella. Lemons galore.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It all started with Tanya.

She lived down the street and after a few months of walking to the bus and catching it to school together, we became friends.

I thought she was the coolest person I'd ever met. She had long platinum hair and crystal blue eyes, and she dressed in tiny short skirts and crop tops. I was just 13 and she was 16, so her wanting to hang out with me seemed great.

She was my role model, like the bigger sister I never had. I copied everything she did. She gave me my first cigarette and I picked up the habit straight away. We drunk alcohol together, and even though we were both too young to go to bars, she dressed me up in her clothes and make up and got us fake IDs.

I lost my virginity when I was 15. It'd had been a Friday night at our usual spot, Frankie's. Tanya found two guys to buy us drinks, she told them I was 21 and she was 22.

They were 24.

He was good looking, don't get me wrong. Brown hair, tanned skin, warm brown eyes. We ended up back at their apartment and then that was it. I did it because she did.

None of my friends liked her, and consequently they stopped hanging out with me. Except for one. Edward. He always had time for me.

Whenever Tanya was busy, I would spend time at his house. He was my only friend in school. His reddish-brown hair stuck up in all directions and he spoke with a very slight lisp because of his braces. He was so goofy, but he was my best friend other than Renee, and his mom was lovely. Nothing like mine. Renee was…difficult. She hated Tanya. Every time she came over, my mom would just glare at her.

I know why now. The day before my 16th birthday everything came crashing down.

_I was walking down the street with Edward, laughing at his impression of our English teacher. _

_'Are you excited about your birthday?' he asked as we passed the turning for my street. Edward lived a few streets further down, past the petrol station. We were going to do some homework together and then watch a movie with his mom's famous ice cream sundaes. I grinned. _

_Tomorrow I would be 16, I was going to have a special dinner with my parents, Tanya, and Edward and his mom. _

_'I can't wait.' I turned to face him, 'What have you got me for my birthday?' I said slyly, grinning when he rolled his eyes._

_ 'You'll have to wait and see Bella.' He replied, sticking his hands in his pockets and smirking._

_He paused, __'Seriously though, Mrs Jennings looks like a hippogriff,' he said giggling, 'I don't know why she's so mean to you.' _

_ I snorted at the change of topic. Only Edward would compare our teacher to a mythical animal from Harry Potter. He was right, she was mean to me._

_ 'She doesn't like me because of Tanya.' I huffed. Forks was a small town, everybody knew who Tanya was. Edward grimaced._

_ I sighed, 'I know you don't like her either,' He looked away, 'I wish you would though, she's like a sister to me.' I continued. _

_ It was Edward's turn to sigh. _

_'I just don't think she's a good influence on you.' He said looking up at me. I bristled._

_ 'What do you mean?' I said coldly._

_'It's just,' he looked down and frowned, 'The way you are when you're around her, you drink a lot, you smoke, you dress differently, you just act differently.' I stopped walking._

_ 'I don't act differently at all.' I snapped. 'Everything I do when I'm around Tanya is just what I'm like. You're saying that you don't like me'. I was hurt, but I didn't let him see that and just glared at him._

_'Bella, that's not what I'm saying at all!' he said sounding anguished. 'I just like it when you're like this, you know, just being yourself.'_

_'I am always being myself.' I said frostily. 'You're just jealous because I have another friend other than you.' _

_'That's not true' Edward protested._

_'Yes it is. I'm your only friend but I have Tanya too. You don't want me to be friends with her so you can have me to yourself. You want me to be just as lonely as you.' I said nastily._

_Edward froze and stopped walking. I started to regret my words and went to take them back, but he got in before me._

_'You know what Bella, fuck off. And you're not my only friend.' Edward snapped. I stared at him shocked. Edward never swore, let alone at me. _

_ 'Me? Fuck off? Are you kidding me Edward. And I am your only friend, you don't spend time with anyone else other than me.' I retorted angrily._

_ 'Bella,' He said sounding exasperated, 'I spend time with you because I like you.' I looked at him surprised._

_'What do you mean you like me?' I said warily._

_ 'I mean,' he said sharply, 'that I have feelings for you.' I gaped at him. I tried to say something, but I couldn't find the words_

_ 'I like you too' I wanted to say, but I couldn't. He had no idea what I'd done with guys. He wouldn't want me if he did. _

_ 'Edward I-'_

_ 'Forget it Bella.' He cut me off. 'Clearly you don't feel the same. I'm fed up of this. I can't do it anymore.'_

_ 'What do you mean?' I managed to say with a lump in my throat. _

_ 'I mean, we're done.' He said coldly. My heart wrenched in my chest. I looked at him through blurry eyes and he looked away. I just turned around and started running home. He didn't run after me. _

_ At some point I stopped running and bent over wheezing. Smoking wasn't doing my lungs any favours. I couldn't stop crying. I got out my phone and tried to call Tanya, but it went straight to voicemail. I left her a voicemail saying that my mom was away for the night with work, so it was only my dad at home if she wanted to come over. _

_ She didn't like coming over when my mom was home because she said Renee didn't like her. _

_I unlocked my front door and closed it behind me, leaning against it for a moment. I wiped my tears away and went into the study, but my dad wasn't there. _

_Where is he?_

_He wasn't in the lounge either. That's weird, I knew he was working from home today. I heard Tanya's laugh from upstairs. Thank god, she must be waiting in my room for me. I walked up the stairs, but she wasn't in my room. I looked around confused. Another giggle. I frowned and walked towards my parent's bedroom. _

_Why would Tanya be in there?_

_ I opened the door and immediately felt like throwing up. Tanya was completely naked on top of my dad. _

_I turned away from the door feeling nauseous. _

_Jesus Christ._

_'What the fuck!' I screeched. They turned to look at me in horror. I ran to my room and slammed the door locking it. I couldn't stop crying. _

_ 'Bella please open the door so we can talk.' My dad said. 'Bella!'_

_ 'Charlie just give her some time.' I heard Tanya say in a sickening voice. I gagged, running to the bathroom and emptying my stomach. I pulled out my phone and called Edward._

_ 'This is Edward's phone, please leave a message.' I bit my lip and hung up. What was I even going to say. Instead I called my mum. _

_ 'Bella' she answered, 'Is everything okay?' I felt like I couldn't speak._

_ 'Mom, I- I need to tell you something, I don't know how to say it though.'_

_'What is it Bella?' She said sounding worried. 'Are you crying?'_

_'Mom – I just walked in on Dad and Tanya.'_

_'What do you mean Bella?' she replied sharply._

_ 'As in, you know, they were together mom.' There was silence on the other end of the phone._

_ 'For god's sake. He told me it had stopped.' I felt my stomach drop._

_'What?' I shouted. 'You knew about this.'_

_'Bella please. Of course, I did, but your father said that it had stopped a month ago. And I stupidly believed him.' She huffed. 'Why I even believed him in the first place I mean, how stupid!' She continued ranting but I couldn't even hear her. _

_'- so that's why this is it Bella. I've been offered a job here and I'm going to take it. I'm coming back tomorrow to get our stuff and you, and then we're moving.'_

_'What the fuck?' I said in shock._

_'Bella, language.' She tutted. 'I just said we're moving. The job here in Houston is a good one, it'll be a new start for both of us. So just start packing your stuff. I don't want to spend another night under the same roof as that asshole.' _

_I heard myself saying 'Okay' and then hung up._

_I stared around at the room. _

_Why not move?_

_What was left here anyway? _

_Edward hated me. Tanya was…I couldn't even think about her. And my dad…I gulped heavily, fighting back tears. A new start._

* * *

I walked in the front door and sighed.

The flat was a complete state.

There were dishes stacked up by the kitchen sink, and the remnants of takeout on the counters. Renee was nowhere to be found. I stalked through the main room and went straight into my bedroom slamming the door behind me.

I threw myself onto my bed heavily. We left Forks two years ago today.

Renee had returned from her trip the following morning, gathered her things, thrown our stuff into her car and then we'd been on our way. Nobody seemed to remember it was my birthday.

I scowled staring at my ceiling.

Nobody remembered today either. My dad hadn't tried to call me once since we left. And Renee, well, she barely stopped drinking these days. I think she thought that when we left, he'd grovel at her feet and come after us. But he didn't. Renee told me last week that he and Tanya were getting married. I felt tears in my eyes and blinked them away angrily.

No, I wouldn't think about them.

I sat up and went over to my window. Tomorrow I was starting at a new school. We'd had to move to this flat two weeks ago, because Renee lost _another_ job, resulting in our eviction from the little terraced house we had been living in.

This flat belonged to her boyfriend, Phil. He was nice enough. But he travelled a lot with work.

He'd be back tomorrow night; Renee would tidy up for his arrival.

She was good at acting like she wasn't a complete train wreck. He must know though, that she drinks.

Maybe he thinks he can fix her.

I went back to the bed and pulled out the bottle of whisky I kept underneath.

'Cheers to me' I said sarcastically, pulling the bottle to my lips. 'Happy fucking 18th birthday Bella Swan.'

**A/N**

**Hi everyone, hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Just so you're aware, Bella is going to be somewhat crazy in this for the first part of the story. This is because she's self-medicating in her own way, just trying to forget about what she's dealing with at home. She's also really vulnerable, because she feels abandoned.**

**Don't forget to leave feedback!**

**lots of love**

**creaatingmadness xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I woke up to the sound of my alarm.

I lay there for a moment considering not bothering to get up. Then I thought about having to spend the day here with Renee and jumped out of bed.

Even school was better than being here.

I walked out of my room to the bathroom.

The flat was really quiet. I paused outside Renee and Phil's bedroom. I opened the door trying to be as quiet as possible.

She lay across the top of the covers sideways and facedown snoring. I bit my lip and closed the door.

I wasn't going to wake her up. If she didn't wake up before Phil got here, then that wasn't my problem.

I sat down to pee and looked through my phone. A few belated birthday messages from friends at my old school, but nothing important. No message from him anyway.

When we left Forks, Renee had given me a new phone, she said it was part of the 'new start,' but she kept her number. Obviously in the hope he would call her. I don't actually know if he did or not. But he definitely didn't try to call me, even though she gave him my number.

I got up and stretched my arms over my head, looking in the mirror. I was quite tall, 5'7, and I had long wavy brown hair that reached my waist.

I washed my hands and then grabbed some concealer and started applying it under my eyes. I framed my brown eyes with some mascara and eyeliner.

That'll do nicely.

I smirked at my reflection.

Now what to wear?

I walked back into the bedroom and looked through my wardrobe grimacing at my selection.

It was warm, just like it always is in Texas.

I took out an off the shoulder black top and some denim shorts. I looked at myself, turning to the side. The top showed my toned shoulders and clung to my boobs in a flattering manner. The shorts were long enough to cover my ass, but tight enough to accentuate it.

My legs looked decent. Years of running had left my legs toned with lean muscle. I shoved my converse on and then grabbed my backpack off the chair and threw some pens in and a notepad. I didn't have a laptop. Sometimes schools leant them to you, but I wasn't sure about this one. I glanced at the kitchen on my way out, it was still a total mess. No breakfast for me then. I grabbed my keys and walked down the stairs.

Thank god I had a car. It looked awful on the outside but it was actually decent.

I ran my hand down the side.

I was really interested in cars, actually I was considering trying to get a part time job at the garage down the road. It would be a good way to make money and get out of the flat.

The drive to school wasn't far, only about 15 minutes.

I eventually pulled up in the parking lot and quickly applied some cherry lip-gloss in the rear mirror.

I got out the car and looked around.

The parking lot was starting to get busy and there were groups of people standing outside.

I looked at my phone, only 5 minutes until class started. So no time for a cigarette. I put them in my rucksack wistfully.

I made my way to the building in front and sighed in relief when I read Administration Building.

I walked in the door. The room was surprisingly well decorated. There was an oaky wooden floor and white walls. There was a desk against the back wall where a short woman sat with bright red hair. She looked in her 50s or so.

To the left there were three doors. One marked 'Principle', one marked 'Finance' and the final one 'Nurse'. I walked up to the woman at the desk, eyeing the placard at the front.

'Hello Mrs Cope.' I said politely. She looked up at me and stared at me.

She wore red-rimmed glasses that sat on the edge of her nose, above them her eyes were sharp and inquisitive. I got the feeling she was a bit of a gossip.

'Ah hello there, are you new?' she asked, rummaging through the papers in front of her.

'Yes', I replied, 'Bella Swan.'

'Ah yes Bella, welcome welcome' she said jovially, typing what I presumed to be my name into the keyboard in front of her. She clicked away then looked back up at me for a moment, before continuing, 'What brings you to Houston Independent dear?' I fought the urge to roll my eyes. What a stupid question.

'Witness protection.' I said sarcastically. Her hands stopped moving and she looked up.

'Hah, very funny dear.' She said chuckling. I raised my eyebrow. 'I see you've moved schools three times in the last three years, do your parents have to move with work?' she questioned. I took a calming breath trying not to snap at her.

'I think, that's none of your business.' I replied, smiling, hoping the expression would slightly diminish the frostiness of my words. She looked at me astonished.

'Oh yes um, well of course dear I- well anyway here's your schedule.' She handed me a piece of paper that had just come from the computer.

'Thank you' I said as kindly as possible.

As I left I heard her mutter 'What a bitch.' I laughed under my breath, if she thought that was bitchy she had no idea, that was me trying to be nice!

I looked at the piece of paper in front of me.

First period, Social studies, second period, AP English, third period, AP biology, a study period, and finally PE.

Ugh, here we go.

Jesus this school was a fucking maze.

I managed to find the classroom 10 minutes after the bell had rung signalling the start of first period. I paused in front of the door and then walked in.

The teacher was in his 50s, and visibly balding. He had a grey moustache and cold blue eyes.

'Ah, you must be Bella Swan.' He announced, looking me up and down. I stared back at him. 'Nice of you to join us Miss Swan, I'm Mr Hastings.' He said looking away. I knew instantly he wouldn't take any shit from me.

Hey, I respect that. I smirked.

'Sorry Mr Hastings, I got lost.' I stated.

'Anyone want to help Miss Swan today finding her classes?' he asked the class.

I looked at them expectantly. All the guys raised their hands.

I smiled coyly then sighed at the lack of hands from the girls. Typical.

Though, I always struggled to be friends with girls after Tanya. The smile dropped from my face at the thought.

'Paul', Mr Hastings stated. I followed his gaze and bit my lip.

He was sat near the back and smirking at me with sultry brown eyes.

He had dark brown hair that was styled so the front stuck up slightly. My eyes slid down his face.

He had high and angular cheek bones and his lips were slightly pouty, he smiled as I checked him out, flashing perfect white teeth.

He was wearing a grey t-shirt that was tight enough to show off his lean and muscled body.

I pouted when I reached his torso and the desk cut me off from viewing any more of him.

Mr Hastings cleared his throat and I turned to him, realising he was looking at me expectantly. It took me a moment to remember he'd just told me to sit down in the seat by Paul.

Don't mind if I do...

I sat down in my seat and turned to look at him. His eyes met mine darkly, full of promise.

He was definitely a player. Exactly my type. Mr Hastings started drabbling on and I jotted down a few notes, quickly realising he was covering something I'd already done. I sighed and sat back in my seat a little.

'So, Be-lla,' Paul said next to me, rolling his tongue on my name. His voice had a husky tone to it. I turned to look at him again.

Yep, I'd definitely be spending some time with Paul.

Hot as fuck.

'What brings you to Houston independent, in your senior year?' I groaned internally, why did you have to ask _that._

'My mom got a new job.' I lied. If he asked a lot of personal questions, then I was just going to have to pass. I didn't like questions.

'Fair enough.' He said casually, crossing his arms in front of him on the desk. I stared at his biceps for a moment.

Well played Paul. I fought the urge to chuckle.

'What's your schedule like?' he asked after a moment. A much better question.

'After this, AP English, AP biology, Lunch then a study period, and PE.' I replied, resting my chin on my hands and causing my shirt to gape slightly. His eyes dropped to my chest then back up to my eyes.

He smirked at me again and I bit my lip. God he was hot.

'Smart and beautiful' he complimented. I rolled my eyes but offered him a smile. 'We have study period and PE together then.'

'I see,' I replied.

'I actually know a really good study spot.' He said cheekily.

'Oh, you do, do you?' I said coyly, biting my lip again. His eyes dropped to my lips and I felt a rush of heat between my legs as his eyes darkened.

'Yeah' he said huskily. I was definitely going to take him up on that, but not today.

I leant towards him, and he smirked.

'Maybe someday.' I said leaning back in my seat.

He gaped at me a moment before shaking his head and smiling.

The rest of the class went smoothly, and to my surprise Paul was actually funny and witty. Of course, that only made him hotter, but I didn't let on that I thought so.

'So because you're a lost little lamb today, I'll help you get to your classes.' Paul said as we walked out of the room. 'My friend Jasper actually has AP English with you, and then my other friends Emmett and Rosalie have AP Biology with you, so you'll be fine.' I smiled at him,

'Thanks Paul that's actually really nice.' I said.

Damn, another point for Paul. He smirked at me,

'I am nice,' he replied. 'You have no_ idea_ how nice I am.' He winked at me and I chuckled.

'Oh I bet.' I laughed. We walked down the corridor and I tried to take in my surroundings so I would know where to go next time. I was so absorbed in staring at the lockers and the labels on the doors that I wasn't looking where I was going and ended up walking straight into someone.

'Fuck me' I said as a rebounded against a hard body and almost fell over. Hands grabbed my waist and righted me.

'Only if you ask me nicely.' I heard. I looked up. The first thing I noticed was he was really tall.

At least 6 foot 3.

His hair was honey coloured and fell into his eyes, which were bright blue. His lips were full and his jaw was defined.

My eyes slid down his torso, his chest was wide and clearly muscled and his arms were bronzed with fair hairs. He was wearing black jeans that clung to clearly muscled legs.

He obviously played sport of some kind.

Fuck me.

I realised I was taking too long and quickly looked back up at his eyes. He was staring at me with an amused expression.

'Jasper!' Paul said, 'This is Bella, she's new.' So, this was Jasper.

'Hello Bella,' Jasper said, smiling at me. He had a strong Texas accent, much stronger than Pauls.

Jesus what do they put in the water here, I wanted to jump his bones.

'Hi Jasper,' I returned confidently. 'Sorry for walking into you. Apparently, I'm a walking hazard.'

He chucked lowly and I shivered.

Fuck even his laugh was hot.

'Apparently so darlin', it's nice to meet you.' Paul turned to me,

'Okay Bella, seeing as Jasper has English now too, I'll leave you with him. Is that okay Jas?' he said, 'I've got to run because I've got Geography and I'm gonna be late if I don't go now.'

'Thank you Paul.' I said at the same time as Jasper said, 'Yeah no worries man.' I looked back at Jasper.

'See you later.' Paul winked at me. I laughed and turned back to Jasper.

'Follow me darlin', it's just down the hall.' He gestured.

'Thanks Jasper.' I said smiling at him. He nodded and we started walking.

'How's your first day going?' he asked me, that twang was so attractive.

If only Paul and Jasper weren't friends.

Well, nevermind about Paul, Jasper was much hotter.

'It's getting better,' I flirted.

There was that chuckle again, I felt my stomach jump.

I could imagine that laugh in a different setting, and that voice…I felt his hand lightly touch the small of my back. His touch felt electric and I gasped.

'Oh yeah?' Jasper said, pausing outside the door as he turned and looked at me. His blue eyes were smouldering into mine. He was looking at me like he wanted to bend me over. I would let him.

'Yeah.' I said breathily. He smirked and I felt a rush of heat between my legs. I had never been so turned on by someone before. We walked in the door to the classroom and the teacher introduced herself to me, Mrs Webber.

'Here you can sit by me,' Jasper said, gesturing to the table at the back. I started to move towards the table when a flash of platinum blonde hair rushed past my face. I paused as a blonde girl threw herself at Jasper and kissed him.

Are you fucking serious?

Jasper gently extricated her off of him and looked at me somewhat apologetically. She turned to me, staring at me icily.

'Who are you?' she said sourly. I stared straight back at her.

'I'm Bella.' I said, 'And you are?'

'Lauren.' She responded, 'Jasper's girlfriend.'

**A/N There we have it, the first half of Bella's first day at school. She's already captivated by Jasper and Paul, but poor Bella, Jasper's taken.**

**Lots of love,**

**Creaatingmadness xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

**As promised, there will be lemons at the end of this chapter, so if you don't like them, you've been warned!**

Chapter 3

Lauren had promptly sat down next to Jasper at the back of the room, and to avoid standing in the middle of the room looking like a dick, I sat down in the only empty seat available.

'Hi, I'm Mike Newton.' I looked to my left at the guy sitting next to me.

He was cute, his hair was blonde, and he had baby blue eyes.

I glanced back at Jasper wistfully. Not anywhere nearly that level of hot. But…I didn't do cheating. Not after T-.

No. I'm not thinking about her today.

'Hi Mike Newton, I'm Bella.' I said smiling at him. I soon regretted my choice of seat and the smile. Mike was exceptionally annoying.

'So, Bella, how are you finding your first day?' he said, after I'd carefully avoided answering his questions about why I'd moved schools and what I liked to do in my spare time.

'Fucking dandy.' I quipped sarcastically. It was lost on Mike.

'Oh good!' he exclaimed. I rolled my eyes.

'We should go out sometime.' He said confidently.

I quirked my brow at him.

'Thank you for offering Mike, but I'm not sure I'm looking for anything at the moment.' I replied kindly.

It wasn't that he was unattractive, but I really couldn't handle his incessant talking.

'Oh, okay Bella, well if you are, I'll be around.' He replied meekly.

I felt sorry for him for a moment, but then he started chatting again and a I changed my mind.

It was quite frankly, a huge turn off.

Aside from the pestering of Newton, English was fine. We were looking at '1984', which I'd read before, Edward and I had read it together.

I felt my stomach drop.

What is it with starting this new school and having all these thoughts about people from the past?

When I'd changed phones, I had asked Renee to call Edwards mum to explain what happened and give him my new number. She did but he never called. I wondered what he'd been doing the past two years.

'Don't you think Bella?' I looked up at Mike's questioning face.

'What?' I said confused. Luckily the bell rang, saving me from having to apologise.

I got up out of my chair and Lauren pushed past me. I stared at her. She was extremely skinny, and her face was sharp, like a bird. Her skin tight jeans and crop top didn't look bad, but her orange tan and fake lips ruined anything that would be attractive about her.

'Aw Bella are you and Newton getting along? You two would make such a cute couple.' She said smirking at me. I raised my eyebrow at her and then decided I wanted to hit her when Mike simpered next to me and shot me a smile.

'Though' she added, 'Really Mike could do better.' I laughed at that.

'Interesting observation coming from you.' I replied unkindly.

'Why?' she said, looking confused. Wow, stupid too, what a catch.

'Let's go Lauren.' I heard behind me.

I felt my skin erupt in goosebumps as Jasper passed me, his hand brushing against mine. I watched them walk out the door, Jasper turned and looked at me, his eyes lingering for a moment, before he turned and walked off.

Why the fuck is Jasper dating her?

Outside the classroom Paul was waiting for me. I smiled.

Now that Jasper was out the equation, looks like Paul and I were back on the cards.

'How was English gorgeous?' he asked, throwing his arm over my shoulder.

'Fine, though the company was somewhat abysmal.' I replied glancing forward at Lauren and Jasper. Paul chuckled.

'So, you met Lauren then.'

'Yes. What a charming girl.' I said sarcastically. He laughed. We had about 20 minutes break before the next period and I was dying for a cigarette. 'Where can we go to smoke?' I asked.

Paul grinned, 'Follow me.' He led us outside the building, and down to the far left, there was another building and behind it, a low wall. There were some benches, and a few people were standing smoking.

'We aren't actually supposed to smoke on site, but nobody ever checks behind here.' He said. 'The building we're in front of has been under construction for ages so nobody has any reason to come here.'

I walked over by the wall and took off my rucksack grabbing my lighter and cigarettes. I lit one and sat up on the edge of the wall inhaling deeply and enjoying the feeling of it in my chest before I puffed it out.

'Fuck me, I didn't realise how badly I needed this.' I said laughing.

Paul smiled but it quickly turned into a yawn and he stretched his arms over his head.

I watched as a sliver of his tanned stomach appeared and bit my lip hard.

He clearly had a six pack. And I wanted to lick it.

'Want one?' I asked, waving my pack of cigs at him.

He smiled. 'Nah I'm fine.'

'You can go back in if you want? If you don't smoke.' I said, feeling bad.

He looked at me and shook his head, 'It's fine, Jasper smokes too, I'm just not a big fan of it. I like being outside when I can. Besides, I've got great company.'

I laughed at that.

'Okay' I shrugged. 'What have you got next.' I asked, staring into his brown eyes.

'Spanish, with Jasper actually.' He replied.

'Oh cool.'

'You've got Biology right?'

'Yeah I do. Your friends will be in the class didn't you say?'

'Yeah' he put his hands in his pockets, 'Emmett and Rosalie. They're dating actually.' Ah more couples.

'I see. What are they like?' I asked curiously.

'Well Emmett's a giant, and he's on the football team with me. That's how we're friends actually. Rosalie is…' he paused, 'Blonde, beautiful and sarcastic as fuck.' He laughed, 'You'll probably get along really well actually.'

I grinned, 'Are you the only single one out of your friends?'

He laughed, 'No, Embry is single too. You'll meet him at lunch, if you want to sit with us?'

I looked at him, I didn't have anyone else to sit with anyway.

'Sure, I'll sit with you.' I answered.

He started talking about his friend Embry and how he had a huge crush on the Spanish teacher.

I tried to listen but felt my thoughts keep slipping back to Edward.

It was that stupid English book, reminding me of when we read it together for class.

We'd sat at his kitchen table, and his mom had brought us chocolate chip cookies and milk and we'd laughed at the absurdity of the book.

I sighed, it hurt so much that he hadn't tried to call me.

Then again, I deserved it after what I said to him.

I finished smoking, laughing at Paul's account of the time Embry got a boner in Spanish class because Senora Gomez touched his shoulder, and he had to sit there after class until it went down.

Our laughter died down and then things suddenly got really intense.

I looked around and realised we were the only ones sitting outside still. Paul looked at me for a moment and then then stepped forward in between my legs. I shivered as I felt the material of his jeans tickle the inside of my bare thighs. He placed his hands on the wall either side of me. I felt a warmth spread in my belly as I looked up at his dark eyes.

'That building behind us, the abandoned one.' He said, his left hand moving off the wall and touching my thigh. 'It's a really good place to study.' He rubbed his thumb into my leg and I bit my lip. I put my hand on his chest. It was rock hard. His touch on my thigh was warm, and I fought the urge to moan as his thumb moved higher.

His eyes were staring into mine, dark with lust.

'It is?' I said breathily.

'Yeah.' He said throatily, stepping closer and moving his hand to my waist. With his other hand he gently pulled my lip from my teeth.

'God Bella every time you bite that fucking lip it makes me want to kiss you.' He murmured rubbing his thumb into the skin between my shirt and my shorts.

His words made my stomach flip and I looked down at his lips, licking mine.

He made a small noise in his throat.

God he was sexy.

He bent towards me and I parted my lips expectantly. I felt his warm breath against my mouth and suddenly the bell rung. He pulled back breathing heavily. I stared at him.

'Saved by the bell.' I stated breathlessly, smiling coyly. He laughed darkly.

'Fuck it, let's be late.' I gasped as he gently cupped my cheek and brought his lips to mine. He tasted like mint and coffee and oh- I moaned as he ran his tongue across my lower lip begging for entrance.

I opened my mouth and he stepped closer to me, grabbing my thigh and pulling me into him as his tongue flicked against mine. The rough material of his jeans against my naked thighs sent shivers down my spine and I moaned into his mouth again.

He groaned as his hand moved down my face and tangled in my hair. I bit his lower lip gently and he groaned again, gripping my thigh more tightly. He stepped his leg in between mine pushing it against my heated centre. I gasped into his mouth my hand moving to grip his ass. I pulled back breathing heavily,

'We need to go to class' I managed to say. 'We're gonna be so late.'

He looked down at me, eyes slightly hooded with lust.

He looked so good.

'I don't care,' he said lowly, removing his leg from between mine. 'That was so fucking worth it.'

He adjusted himself in his jeans and I watched biting my lip again. He smirked at me.

'Stop that Bella.' I let go of my lip and laughed.

'Hope you enjoyed that Paul because that's all your getting.' He looked at me cockily.

'Oh yeah?'

'Yes' I lied. Realistically, it was going to be hard to resist going to that building with him in study period. That kiss was…hot.

'Whatever you say Bella' he chuckled. We walked back into the building somewhat hurriedly and he directed me to where I was going.

'Sorry Bella I would take you but we're already late.' He ran his thumb over my lower lip, and I licked the tip and bit it gently, looking at him from under my eyelashes.

'Fuck, Bella.' He groaned.

'Bye' I said cheerily. He laughed loudly and then ran down the corridor.

When I walked into Biology the teacher wasn't there yet.

Thank god. I didn't want a reputation for being late to every class today.

The classroom was huge. There were lab tables of two stretching up both sides of the classroom, with slightly larger tables with seats for three in the middle.

'Bella!' I looked at the guy calling my name. He was sat in the third row in the middle. He was huge, taller than Jasper anyway, with defined muscles, blue eyes and curly brown hair. I looked at him appraisingly. How was everyone in this town so gorgeous. The girl next to him cleared her throat.

She was absolutely stunning. Her hair was blonde and wavy and reached mid chest. Her eyes were bright blue and she had pouty lips. She placed her hand on his arm. This must be Emmett and Rosalie. I smiled warmly at them and went and sat down.

'I'm Rosalie, and this is Emmett' she said, pointing to her boyfriend.

'It's nice to meet you,' I replied, 'Paul mentioned you'd be in this class. Thanks for saving me a seat. ' I heard a whisper behind me and turned back to see Lauren glaring at me from the back of the room.

How wonderful.

I faced the front again with a scowl.

'How you finding your first day here Bella?' Emmett asked me. He had a very warm smile.

'Not too bad Emmett, though some people are worse than others.' I replied, thinking of Lauren and Mike.

'You've met Newton then,' Rosalie stated staring at her nails then looking up at me expectantly. Emmett barked out a laugh.

'How did you know that's who I was talking about?' I asked laughing.

'Let's just say, before Rosie and I started dating Newton followed her around like a lost puppy.' Emmett said jovially. Rosalie huffed and leant towards me.

'He's not the only annoying one either. Have you met Lauren and Jessica yet?' I raised my eyebrow.

'Lauren yes, Jessica no.' I replied. Rosalie looked behind her at Lauren who was still glaring at the back of my hand. She chuckled,

'How have you pissed her off already? Jessica is the same, vapid, spineless and brainless.' She commented dryly.

'I think it's because Jasper walked me to class.' I stated, rolling my eyes.

'Did he now?' Rosalie said interested. Emmett nudged her and she bit her lip.

'Don't worry about Lauren, her and Jasper have been together for just over a year and she still gets extremely jealous.' A year?

'Jesus that's a long time.' I exclaimed. 'He must really like her.'

Rosalie snorted. 'Yeah right.'

I looked at her confused. Emmett nudged her again and looked at her pleadingly. Rosalie rolled her eyes and Emmett sighed putting his head in his hands.

'Two months after they started dating, Lauren's mum died.' She whispered.

'Oh, that's awful.' I whispered back. Even though Renee was an absolute pain in my ass, I think her dying would seriously fuck me up. A train wreck yes, but still my mother. I looked at Rosalie.

'To be honest Bella', she said quietly 'Jasper has tried to break it off loads of times, but she goes into these huge meltdowns and says she can't live without him and he's all she has left.'

Oh, I see. So that explains why Jasper looked at me like he wanted to fuck me against a wall earlier, despite having a girlfriend.

Emmett looked at Rosalie exasperatedly.

'Rosie.' He said warily, 'You shouldn't have told Bella that.' She scoffed.

I frowned. I didn't see what the big deal was.

At that point the teacher rushed in. She was in her 30s and looked extremely stressed. Her hair was all over the place and her glasses were halfway down her face.

'Hi everyone, Mr Banner is sick today so I'm covering for him, I'm Mrs Hart, if you could please go around and tell me your names, I can get started.'

The hour passed by fairly quickly and I decided I really liked Rosalie and Emmett.

They confirmed what I already assumed, which was that Paul was onto a new girl every week or two. I was relieved, because it meant I could be friends with him without it being awkward. If we had sex, which I was almost certain we would, it would definitely be casual.

When the bell rung for lunch I walked with Emmett and Rosalie into the cafeteria.

It was huge. I didn't realise how many students went to the school until I saw them all packed in the room.

Speaking of food. My stomach grumbled. I hadn't eaten anything yet today and it was already past 1 o'clock. I eyed the line warily.

'How bad is the food?' I asked Rosalie nervously.

'Oh Bella. Bella, Bella, Bella.' She cackled, 'You really want to start bringing your own food in.' I looked down, that might be difficult considering there's never any food in the house unless Phil is home.

'Well, I guess I'll have to risk it today.' I said as we sat down. Emmett turned to me,

'Honestly Bella, the food is fine. Want me to get you something?' I smiled at him, Rosalie was lucky, Emmett seemed like a really genuine guy.

'That's okay Emmett, I'll come and get something in a bit.' I replied.

I turned to Rose and asked whether anyone ever threw any good parties.

She grinned, 'Of course, Bella. There's a neighbouring school down the road that throw absolute ragers. Sometimes people here throw a good event too, but it just depends. I know there's going to be a big party on Saturday night if you want to come with us?'

I raised my eyebrows, 'Count me in.'

There was a scraping sound and I turned from Rosalie to face forward; it was Jasper.

He sat down at the table and smirked at me.

Emmett came back and Rosalie turned to him telling him I was going to come to the party on Saturday.

I stared at Jasper. He tucked his honey coloured hair behind his ear as he reached into his bag and pulled out two huge sandwiches.

They smelt really good. Peanut butter and Jelly. Yum.

He reached over to Emmett and grabbed his knife and I stared at his hands as they began deftly cutting the sandwiches into quarters. I laughed at the dainty triangles he was making. He looked up at me amused.

'Something funny Bella?' he said with a wry grin. I'd forgotten how hot that accent was.

I smiled, 'I just didn't take you for the type who'd cut their sandwiches into triangles. It's like you're at a fucking tea party.'

Emmett burst out laughing,

'It is really bizarre Jas.'

Jasper looked at me, his brown eyes sparkling as he reached down and grabbed a sandwich, biting into it.

'I swear,' he said, his mouth full, 'It makes them taste better.'

Cute. Ugh, I looked away irritated at myself. Jasper has a girlfriend, Jasper has a girlfriend, I repeated in my head.

'Do you want some?' He said looking at me. I did love peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches. I looked over at Emmet's tray, which had some greasy pizza and fries on it. Definitely not feeling the cafeteria food.

'Okay,' I replied. I reached out and he handed me a triangle. As his fingers brushed mine, I felt a spark shoot up through my hand. I looked at him sharply. He was staring at me too. I took the sandwich and bit into it. It was so peanut buttery, and the ratio of jelly was perfect.

'Jasper this is so good.' I moaned, licking my fingers. I looked up at him and he was looking at me darkly. I felt my breathing hitch at the expression on his face.

'Want another piece?' he asked, his voice slightly lower. I nodded, and this time when he handed me the piece his fingers lingered over mine. He looked down at our hands,

'Bella do you-' he was cut off by the arrival of Paul, and another guy. I presumed this was Embry. He had long shaggy hair to his ears and warm brown eyes. Cute, but not my type.

I smiled at him as Paul introduced me.

Paul sat next to me and pressed his leg against mine. I looked at him and he smirked slyly.

'Jesus Jasper, got enough sandwiches?' He asked chuckling. Jasper grinned, leaning back in his chair.

'Yes, and actually, I gave Bella some so I'm not eating them all myself.' Jasper gestured to the little triangle I was holding. Paul laughed and then turned to Embry to ask him how Spanish went. My eyes met Jasper's as I brought the sandwich to my lips.

'Thanks Jasper,' I said, licking my lips. His eyes darted down to them and then back to mine, looking a shade darker. God he needed to stop looking at me like that. He has a girlfriend, he has a girlfriend.

Bad Bella piped up then. But he doesn't really want to be with her, Rosalie said so.

I took a deep breath and looked away from him.

'Anyone want to come have a smoke?' I asked, realising too late that the only person at the table that actually smoked was Jasper.

'Sure.' Jasper replied. I don't think Paul even heard me, he was having an intense debate with Embry about something to do with football. I wanted to put my head in my hands.

'Okay then.' I replied standing up. I swung my backpack on my shoulder and followed Jasper to the smoking area. Thankfully it was actually quite full, and there were at least fifteen people in there.

I avoided the wall where I'd sat with Paul earlier, and stood in the middle, throwing my bag at my feet. I put a cig in my mouth and started rummaging around for my lighter, when Jasper reached into his pocket and took out his, lighting it for me. He grabbed his own cigarette then and put it in his mouth. I watched him as he lit the end and sucked. He took a deep breath and put his left hand in his pocket.

'Enjoy the sandwich darlin'? he asked smirking at me.

I laughed, 'You were right Jasper, cutting it into pieces does make it taste better.'

He grinned, 'I told you!'

He looked up at me, 'Paul seems to like you.'

I raised my eyebrow, 'Paul wants to fuck me,' I replied crassly, Jasper didn't react.

'Regardless of whether or not that happens, we'll definitely be friends.' I continued. Jasper looked at me a moment, taking another drag.

'So, you're not looking for anything serious then?' he asked. I laughed loudly.

'God no.'

'That's good, I don't think Paul does serious.'

'I don't do serious either.' I muttered.

'It's weird,' he said after a moment, 'Even though I know you're probably gonna sleep with him, it doesn't make my any less attracted to you.' I sighed heavily.

'Jasper, you have a girlfriend.' He laughed.

'Bella, I still have eyes. It doesn't mean I would do anything with you.' I nodded looking down, feeling guilty for how disappointed I felt hearing him state that.

'Even though I really want to.' he muttered darkly. I looked up at him.

He looked at me from under his lashes.

Images of him pinning me up against a wall and ripping my shirt off accosted me and I bit my lip, hard. I wanted to say, 'Like what,' but I stopped myself.

'I want to apologise Bella, for Lauren. I know she was rude to you. It's my fault. I think she noticed how I looked at you.' I wondered if I should tell him what Rosalie said to me.

'Emmett texted me and told me what Rose said to you.' So that answers that. He took another drag.

I was hypnotised by the way his long fingers held the cigarette.

'I get it.' I said in response. I did. 'Sometimes things are just complicated,' I murmured. He nodded, frowning.

'Bella, I-'

'Jasper!' Lauren appeared next to us. 'I didn't see you in the cafeteria and I thought you might have gone for a smoke.' He put his cigarette out on the floor.

'Yeah' he replied. I felt sorry for him.

I looked at Lauren, she was looking at him so desperately.

To be honest I felt sorry for her too.

'See you later Bella,' he said wistfully as he turned to Lauren and they walked off together.

I decided to just stay in the smoking area for a while.

Lunch was almost over but I had study period anyway. I looked at the building behind me and wondered if Paul would meet me here. I felt my stomach curl in anticipation. The sexual tension I had with Jasper had left me feeling hot and bothered. And seeing as there was nothing I could do about that… besides that kiss I had with Paul earlier was full of promise. I knew he'd show me a good time.

I had predicted rightly, and it wasn't long before Paul walked around the corner. I smirked at him and he wasted no time threading his fingers in my hair and kissing me hotly. I moaned into his mouth.

'Just that one kiss earlier though, right baby?' He said cockily, as he walked me backwards to the wall.

'Shut up.' I replied snarkily grabbing his shoulder and jumping up, he caught my legs and pinned me against the wall.

'God Damn, I've wanted you all fucking day.' He groaned, running his hand down my side. His hands left a trail of blazing fire down my body. I grabbed his hair and kissed him fiercely, gently biting his lower lip. He moaned into my mouth and gripped my hips, pushing himself against me. He dropped my legs and started kissing down my neck as I ran my hands down his back. I gripped his t-shirt in one hand, pulling it up slightly as I ran my hand down his stomach. He groaned.

'Okay Bella, time to move inside.' He grabbed my hand and looked around the corner carefully before sneaking us into the building. There were signs of construction everywhere, abandoned paint rollers, a wheelbarrow, and some tables. He shut the door behind us.

'No one ever comes here right?' I said breathlessly.

'No one except me.' He said, staring at me pointedly. I got what he was trying to say, he had been in here with other girls, and I wouldn't be the last.

Good. I started kissing his neck.

'Works for me.' I said. 'This means nothing.' I grabbed his shirt in my hands and tugged it upwards, he lifted his arms up and then his lips met mine fiercely again. I ran my hand down his toned stomach reaching for his jeans. He walked us backwards to a desk and picked me up so I was sitting on it. He stepped in between my legs and tangled his fingers in my hair as he kissed me.

'Fuck Bella.' He moaned as I cupped him through his jeans. He grabbed my top and pulled it off me, revealing my lacy pink bra. He kissed down my neck and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he bent over me.

His hand expertly undid my bra, and he threw it behind him.

'So fucking hot.' He said cupping my breasts and taking my nipple into his mouth.

I felt the heat between my legs increase exponentially at the sensation.

He bit down gently and I cried out, reaching down to unbutton his jeans. He took over and pulled his jeans and boxers down. I looked down and licked my lips. His erection jutted out towards me, he was thick, and slightly curved at the tip. He was staring at me with dark eyes as he watched me appraise him.

'You like Bella?' he asked running his thumb over my nipple. I moaned in response. He tugged down my jean shorts and my underwear and I gasped as the cool air hit my wet centre. He moaned lowly as his hand slid down my body and touched me.

'So fucking wet.' He hissed. He turned around and fished in his jean pocket for a condom which he promptly put on.

I was on the pill, but I never went bareback. Too risky.

He leant towards me and kissed me again. His mouth was hot and insistent and his tongue flicked against mine making me moan. As he kissed me his hand cupped my ass, squeezing slightly, before he moved it round and then I was moaning as his thumb rubbed my clit. He placed hot open-mouthed kisses down my neck then slowly slid his finger into me, keeping his thumb on my clit.

I threw back my head gasping, god he was good.

'God Damn, I need to fuck you now Bella.' He murmured.

'Yes, fuck me.' I pleaded, my whole body was on fire, I just needed –

'Oh. Fuck.' He moaned loudly as he slid into me. My eyes rolled back into my head. I echoed his sentiment, he felt so good. He started moving inside of me and I gripped his shoulder in pleasure

'I need- fuck, Paul I need-.' I moaned loudly.

'What do you need baby?' he murmured, 'What do you want?'

'Harder.' I gasped, 'Please.' He moaned as he looked down at me spread out on the table. He gripped my hip and started a faster pace, hitting much deeper on every stroke. I cried out in pleasure.

'Like. That. Is that what you want Bella?' he asked cockily as he slammed into me, managing to rub against my clit with each thrust.

'Oh fuck.' I moaned, 'Don't fucking stop.' He pulled my other leg around his waist as he pounded into me. He kept up the relentless pace until I was shaking around him.

'I'm so close.' I gasped, he looked at me through hooded eyes and I felt my breath catch, he was so fucking hot. His thumb moved to where we were connected and he rubbed it in slow circles over my clit. I felt myself building.

'Oh god Paul, I'm gonna-'

He groaned loudly speeding up his ministrations,

'Me too' he gasped.

'Fuck.' I cried out as I felt waves of pleasure wash over me, he groaned loudly as he came just as I was coming down from my orgasm. I lay there for a moment breathing heavily. He looked at me.

'Jesus fucking Christ Bella.' He said shaking his head. 'We can do that again, whenever.'

I laughed lightly, leaning up on my elbows. He looked down at my body and smirked at me.

I sat up and looked around for my bra.

Paul handed it to me along with my top.

I stood up and started getting dressed, enjoying the sight of Paul's naked body as he bent over to pick up his jeans.

He walked over to me and kissed me, running his hand down the side of my breast. I looked at him through hooded eyes, already remembering how good it felt with him inside me.

'Careful.' I warned, 'We don't have time to go again.'

He looked at me thoughtfully, 'And believe me when I say that is a ducking shame...I mean it Bella, we are gonna do that again. And next time, in a bed. You were so fucking hot.'

I smirked at the compliment.

'Maybe.' I replied, 'You were pretty fucking hot too.' He laughed and kissed me.

'Well, I definitely need another cigarette after that.' I said, stretching my arms over my head. 'How do I look?' I asked, patting down my hair.

'Like you've been thoroughly fucked.' Paul retorted with a sly grin.

I laughed grabbing my phone and attempting to fix my messy hair in the camera. My mascara was also halfway down my eyes. I wiped it away.

We stepped outside and I lit another cigarette, leaning back against the wall contently. We talked back and forth just as normally as we had in the morning.

I was glad. Paul and I were completely on the same page.

Friends first, the sex was just a bonus. I knew straight away I wouldn't be upset if I saw him walking into there with someone else.

'Time for PE' I said grinning. Paul looked at me shocked.

'Are you excited for PE? I wouldn't have pegged you as someone that likes PE, in fact, I'm pretty sure no one likes PE except Jasper.' I laughed.

'I'm excited, because, it's my first day, so I didn't bring anything to wear.' I replied cheerfully. 'No PE for me!'

Paul rolled his eyes. 'Well I'm sure the Coach will make you do something. He never lets anyone just sit on the side.'

'We'll see.' I responded.

Unfortunately for me, although Coach Clapp agreed I didn't have to participate in sport, I was unable to get off scot free, and had to spend the period looking through the school's exercise manual and then sorting out the cones in the corner. I waved to Rosalie as she jogged around the inside court and she flipped me the bird making me giggle.

By the time school finished I was completely ready to go home and crash out. I snuck out of PE before everyone had finished and got into my car. I was too exhausted for any more interaction today. I drove home listening to the radio, actually smiling, I'd had a pretty good day.

**A/N**

**Okay my lovelies that is Chapter 3 done and dusted, it's a longer one! Hope you enjoyed the lemon. What do you think of Jasper? Is he an ass for liking Bella, or can you sympathise with his situation?**

**xo Creaatingmadness**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Sorry for the late update my lovelies! Been very busy, but don't worry, the next few chapters should be with you pretty quickly! All rights reserved for the character's and mentions of other material.**

Chapter 4

I parked my car and walked up the flat with a content smile on my face. The new school was actually okay. On top of the fact that there were plenty of suitable conquests, the classes had been surprisingly fine.

I actually really enjoyed school. It wasn't something I would openly talk about and it definitely hadn't always been that way, but I was pretty smart, and though school itself was a drag, I enjoyed learning.

That was mainly Edward's influence of course.

I bit my lip, there he goes again, cropping up in my thoughts. Why today of all days he kept appearing I had no idea. I took out my keys to unlock the door and thought back to my encounter with Paul, he was the best I'd been with in a while. Definitely better than the selection available at my old school. I was still in contact with one of the guys from there, Jake. He was pretty fun, but I kept getting the feeling he wanted more than just sex from me. And that certainly wasn't happening. And Jasper…I was attracted to him, he was also so sweet, I thought back to the sandwiches and smiled.

I opened the door and my face fell instantly.

'Oh look who's shown up.' Renee called. She was lying on the sofa with a bottle of vodka in her hand. Her hair was in total disarray, and her eyes were bloodshed and puffy. Smudges of mascara covered the area around her blue eyes. Fuck.

I looked at the room and sighed. Double fuck. There were clothes scattered on the chairs at the back and the table was strewn with papers and coffee cups. On the floor by the table something glistened, a broken glass.

'Where's Phil, Renée?' I asked calmly, throwing my stuff on the floor and getting the dustpan and brush from the kitchen cupboard. I wanted to get rid of the broken glass before anything else.

She laughed darkly, then hiccuped. 'Had to stay another day.'

'So he's not coming back tonight?' I said wistfully, looking at the mess.

'Nope.' She laughed again, then burst into tears.

I groaned and went over to the sofa sitting down next to her.

'What if he doesn't come back Bella.' She cried, leaning on my shoulder. I pet her head gently feeling relieved.

Crying Renée was much better than angry Renée, it could go either way when she'd been drinking.

I thought about getting up and leaving her but then felt guilty. She was my mother at the end of the day, and right now she was vulnerable. It was easier to leave her be and pretend I didn't know what was happening when she was screaming at me.

It wasn't like I always did that. At first I helped every time, but eventually, it was just no longer worth it. Not to mention, if Phil came back to this he'd probably kick us out and then I would have to move again, and that would mean changing schools. That decided it for me.

'Come on Renee.' I said, helping her to her feet and half-carrying her down the hall.

I deposited her on the toilet, grabbing her toothbrush and putting some toothpaste on it.

'Brush.' I demanded. She looked at me for a moment sniffling, then grabbed the toothbrush compliantly.

Thank fuck for that. After taking her to her room and telling her to put get dressed for bed, I deposited a glass of water and some Advil next to her and then went out into the kitchen.

It took me just under an hour to tidy the place. I stood next to the kitchen counter and suddenly felt a wave of dizziness. I gripped the counter and took a deep breathe. Fuck I haven't eaten all day. I opened the fridge. Renee didn't cook, and thought I could, I rarely felt like it.

The fridge was surprisingly well stocked, thank you Phil!

I threw together a cheese toastie and sat down to eat it, pulling out my homework.

Despite it being my first day of senior year I appeared to have assignments to start doing in _all_ of my classes. I was determined to do well this year though, so I could leave home and go somewhere far away for college.

The quicker I could get away from Renee the better, it shouldn't be my job to look after her like this.

I pondered on that thought, wondering if I should sit down with Phil and explain the situation with Renee. Maybe.

Once I finished my homework I headed down the hall and jumped in the shower, washing my hair with my favourite strawberry shampoo and then taking the time to dry it in soft waves.

I checked on Renee briefly before going to sleep, I didn't want her to lie on her back just in case. Luckily, she was on her side snoring heavily.

After having a cig, leaning out my bedroom window it was already past 11. By the time I crawled into bed I could barely keep my eyes open.

**X**

A loud banging woke me up from my dreams.

I lay there for a second feeling extremely grumpy.

I had been having an extremely pleasurable dream involving both Jasper and Paul, at the same time.

I smirked at my wicked thoughts.

The banging continued and I groaned, pulling myself out of bed.

I walked into the kitchen and almost fell over. Renee was cooking…

'What the fuck?' I said confused. She had a bright red apron on, and was bustling around the kitchen, preparing what appeared to be bacon, eggs, pancakes, waffles and by the looks of it some kind of smoothie.

'Language Bella.' She scolded, turning around and smiling at me. I was so confused.

'No but…what the fuck?' I repeated.

She shooed me towards the table, and I sat down, still in my underwear and a t-shirt and stared at her.

Was she having a mental breakdown? Did I need to call someone?

I was running over potential courses of action when the door opened, and Phil walked through. Ah. That explains it then.

Renee launched herself at him and I rolled my eyes. Luckily the shirt I was wearing used to be Jake's and happened to go down to just above my knees.

Phil parked his suitcase by the sofa and kissed Renee thoroughly. I looked away disgusted.

Renee then dashed off into the kitchen and Phil came over and sat down at the table. He looked at me contemplatively. He was in his late thirties, so a decade younger than Renee, with dark brown eyes and blonde hair. He wasn't the most handsome man, but he had kind eyes, and he did truly love Renee, god knows why.

'How are you doing Bella?' he asked, smiling at Renee when she rushed out the kitchen handing us both a coffee. I looked at her retreating form with a bewildered expression on my face. What the hell had gotten into her. It was such a sharp contrast to the state she'd been in the night before I felt like I was potentially still asleep.

Phil cleared his throat and my eyes turned back to him, I smiled apologetically.

'I'm good, and you?' I said politely.

'Not too bad, tired after all the travelling, but it's certainly good to be home.' I nodded in response.

Renee then burst out the kitchen carrying plates filled with food. She set them down in front of us with a flourish, and then darted back into the kitchen to grab her own plate. She sat down at the table at stared at us expectantly. I frowned. This was seriously odd behaviour.

'Thank you?' I said, wondering if that was what she wanted. Phil copied me.

Our response appeared to appease her, and she smiled and tucked into her food.

After the weirdest breakfast I think I've ever endured, I headed to my room to get ready for school.

For the life of me I couldn't figure out why she was acting so weird. Certainly, she acted differently around Phil, but this was a very odd state of behaviour for her.

I thought back on the conversation last night and wondered if she was as drunk as I thought she was. Surely, she was? Wasn't she?

Deep in thought I threw my stuff for school into a rucksack and threw some mascara and eyeliner on. I then dressed in a matching set of midnight blue underwear, and a cute blue dress that only just covered my ass, and definitely wouldn't if I bent over too far forward.

After school today I wanted to stop at the garage down the road to enquire about a part time job. I needed money, but it would also get me out of the house, and it would be doing something I love.

Renee and Phil weren't in the kitchen, but from the repetitive thumping going on down the hall, I assumed that was because they were otherwise occupied. I didn't bother saying bye, just grabbed my keys and walked out the door.

The drive to school went extremely quickly, and I parked up the car and walked over to the unofficial smoking area, glad I'd gotten here a little earlier so had time to smoke. There were a few people there, but none I knew, so I sat on the wall and lit my cigarette. I sighed in relief as I breathed in the nicotine.

I found myself pondering Renee's behaviour again and was so lost in my thoughts I didn't see Jasper until he was standing directly in front of me.

'Hi darlin'.' He said, offering me a smile. He already had a cigarette behind his ear and grabbed it, putting it in his mouth. I held out my lighter and he bent towards me so I could light it for him. His sparkling blue eyes bored into mine and I shivered as I breathed in his vanilla and spice scent. He pulled away, taking a deep pull and then grabbing the cigarette between his long fingers, resting it at his side.

'How are you?' he asked, looking at me through his thick black lashes.

'Great.' I responded sarcastically. He frowned and I sighed, 'Sorry Jasper, I'm just- never mind, how are you?' I queried. He took the cigarette back up to his mouth and I was a little mesmerised watching the tip enter his pouty lips.

'Not too bad Bella, but not too great either.' He said, after a minute. I nodded, having to deal with Lauren must be extremely difficult.

We talked back and forth for a while and I quickly realised that Jasper was intelligent, and extremely funny. He kept making me laugh and I ended up lighting another cigarette immediately just so I could spend more time with him. He asked me about my sudden move to the school and immediately my walls went up and I withdrew a little from the conversation. Sensing my unease, he stopped asking and changed the subject.

'What classes have you got today?'

I smiled gratefully, 'History, study period, English, Spanish and then Trig.'

'Well looks like we've got all morning together then. History, study period and then English.' Jasper said, smiling slightly.

'I don't know whether I'm glad about that or not.' He continued, raising his eyebrow at me.

His eyes ran down my body hungrily, 'Especially when you look like that.'

His gaze made me several degrees warmer and I shivered.

'Cold?' he asked, as goose bumps appeared on my legs. I looked at him biting my lip slightly.

'Nope.' I replied, popping my lips on the 'P'. He chuckled then, that deep naughty chuckle that was so full of promise and made my skin tingle. My breathing hitched.

'Paul told me what happened yesterday.' Jasper said after a while. I nodded and looked at him under my eyelashes.

'And?' I replied.

'And, like I said yesterday it doesn't seem to change anything.' He sighed. 'Honestly I was kind of hoping it would though. This is such a difficult situation Bella, I know I have a girlfriend, but as you and I both know, I really don't want to be in this relationship at all. And you…' He looked at my bare legs again, 'I've never felt this chemistry with anyone the way I feel it with you Bella.'

I nodded in response. Me neither.

'I want to get to know you, but I'm scared to be around you at the same time.' he said.

I frowned.

'Maybe you should just keep your distance then Jas.' I said, stamping out my cigarette next to me.

I stood up and clearly misjudged the distance between us because he ended up being right in front of me.

My whole body lit up with his proximity to me and I felt dizzy as I looked up into his eyes. All I could smell was his spicy and vanilla cologne and I swallowed heavily as I wondered what he would taste like. Jasper looked down at me and took a shaky breath before stepping back away from me. I couldn't decide if I was grateful or disappointed.

'I should darlin', but I don't want to. You're smart, funny and you're cute as hell too.' He replied. 'I can control myself; I just want to be your friend.' I smiled gently at him,

'I'll do my best to control myself too.' I said. I could do this, I just had to remember he had a girlfriend.

'Friends?' I asked, holding out my hand. He gripped mine and I ignored the tingle that ran up my arm as he did.

'Friends.' He confirmed.

After all, I could just take out my sexual frustration on Paul, I doubt he'd mind.

We walked to class together and Jasper told me that history was his favourite subject and that Emmett was going to be in class with us.

I was kind of glad that we'd have a buffer between us. It was probably for the best.

Emmett greeted me exuberantly when I saw him, picking me up and giving me a giant hug, Rose, standing next to him also gave me a hug, and said she'd see me at lunch.

Paul wasn't around but I assumed I'd be seeing him later at some point.

Emmett, Jasper and I found a seat at the back of the classroom. I was pleased to find out from Emmett that Lauren wasn't in school today.

I looked at Jasper, but he looked just as surprised as me. I would have thought she'd have texted him to tell him but clearly not.

Emmett revealed that the elusive Jessica, that I had yet to meet was also missing from school, something that based on her reputation, I was pleased about.

I was extremely glad to have Emmett sitting in between Jasper and I, and his jokes and strange desire to gossip like an old lady were endearing and hilarious. The class flew by, and I found myself wondering where people actually go during study periods, officially that is. I had of course spent all of mine yesterday, with Paul. I smirked at the idea.

'-Bella.' I turned to Jasper, realising he'd been talking, and I had completely zoned out.

'Sorry Jas, I zoned out.' I admitted.

'No worries darlin', I was just saying, do you want to go have a smoke before we go to the library for study period?' I contemplated for a moment before answering.

On the one hand, the smoking area was probably deserted, meaning we could be tempted…but, we had had that discussion this morning and both agreed to be friends, so…

'Okay sure.' I replied. The bell rung then, and I stood up, grabbing my stuff. We said bye to Emmett and then headed outside to the smoking area.

'What's your favourite movie?' He asked me, as we settled on the wall of the smoking area. I was pleased to see there were actually a few other people standing around.

'Hmm, I think it would have to be Transformers.' I replied after a moment. 'What's yours?'

'Oh yeah?' He looked at me appreciatively, 'For me, it has to be Star Trek, and then a close second would probably be Star Wars, Episode III. Nerdy I know' he replied chuckling. I scoffed at him.

'For goodness sake Jas,' I said shaking my head. He looked at me confused. 'Nobody likes Star Wars Episode III, the only good thing about that movie is how insanely fuckable Hayden Christenson is, everything else is awful. The best Star Wars is obviously Episode V.'

He let out a shocked laugh, 'You like Star Wars?'

'Of course.' I replied, 'I actually have a really broad taste in movies, I don't necessarily love one genre over another. Star Trek, I agree is an awesome movie, if we're talking about the Chris Pine version that is. He's so hot.'

Jasper laughed, 'I see, there seems to be a pattern with your favourite movies and 'hot' cast members.' He gave me a pointed look and I smirked, 'Well darlin', I like Episode III for two principle reasons, one, the way Anakin turns to the darkness purely because he fears for Padme, which comes from a place of light. I think the dichotomy is awesome, if you consider that the nail in the coffin for him turning dark, is essentially love, which is a fundamentally good thing.' He paused looking at me, 'Secondly, the action scenes are awesome, made even better by the improved technology from the earlier films, and by that, I mean episode IV, V, and VI.' He finished smiling proudly.

'Wow Jas, you are such a nerd.' I replied chuckling. Internally I was sort of turned on by his intelligence and also how cute he was.

'Hayden Christenson is insanely fuckable is he?' he asked smirking at me.

I laughed louder, 'Abso-fucking-lutely, have you seen the man? He's so tortured and sexy, and a little evil.' I made a purring sound and Jasper giggled. I turned to him shocked at the girlish sound and clutched my stomach in laughter.

'What the fuck was the noise Jas.' I wheezed. He shrugged at me then and we fell into another fit of laughter. When we finally managed to stop, I looked at him with a big and genuine smile on my face. His face echoed mine, and then his expression changed slightly.

'You're so beautiful Bella.' He said, reaching his hand and running it down the side of my face. My breath caught. His finger gently ran over my lip and I gasped. He groaned slightly and pulled his hand away.

'Sorry Bella.' He said frowning. 'This is harder than I thought it would be.'

I twisted my mouth to the side, reaching into my bag and pulling out two cigarettes'. I wrapped my lips around the first one, lit it, taking a long drag, and placed it between Jasper's lips. A feeling of heat spread in my stomach as I felt his hot breath against my hand and my fingers brushed his mouth. The dark look he gave me in return suggested I wasn't the only one that found that hot. I lit my own and made a little space between us on the wall.

'So,' he said, running his hand through his blonde waves, 'What kind of stuff do you like to do in your spare time?'

I smiled, 'Well I love to read, and actually one of my biggest passions is actually cars.' I bit my lip, 'I know that's such a cliché, Megan Fox in Transformers kind of created this ideal for girls to like cars, though honestly most of the time the girls don't actually give a fuck about the cars. Anyone can bend over a jeep in a crop top and talk about 'what's under the hood',' I said the last part in a breathy tone, rolling my eyes. Jasper laughed.

'That's pretty cool. I don't really know anything about cars.' He admitted. 'Maybe you'll have to show me what's under the hood.' He smirked, pausing for a second, 'Of my car…' he finished coyly. I laughed and smacked him gently.

'Sure, I could show you.' I replied, my breathing quickening as I imagined bending over his car with him behind me, gripping my hips and slamming into me. He must have noticed the expression on my face because his eyes slid down to my lips. I swallowed heavily feeling my stomach flip.

'What do you like to do?' I managed to say. He licked his lips and I stared at his mouth hungrily.

'What?' He asked looking up at me with a confused expression. I took a deep breath.

'What do you like to do in your spare time?'

He smiled, 'Well, I'm really interested in Civil War history, so I like looking at movies or books on the subject. I also love movies in general,' he laughed, 'Even though apparently according to you my taste is awful.' He shot me a look, and I grinned at him, 'Mainly I love to swim, I'm actually on the swim team.' Well that explains the obvious muscles. I wondered what he looked like naked. I bet he was all lean and muscular everywhere. Especially when he was dripping with water.

Mmm.

'Oh yeah.' I said, sounding much breathier than I intended. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice.

We finished our smokes and then headed back inside. There weren't any seats left together in the library, so I managed to get quite a bit of work done.

When the Bell rung for break, I gathered my stuff and walked out the library, intending to find Paul, for some much-needed sexual relief. As I opened the door, I almost knocked over Rosalie.

'Bella!' she said, smiling at me.

'Hi Rosalie.' I said, hugging her. 'How's your day going so far?'

She sighed, 'I've just had to sit next to Newton for the past hour.' I smiled at her sympathetically, he was so annoying.

'I would've thought he'd leave you alone, because of Emmett.' I said to her, as we walked to the cafeteria.

She laughed, 'Emmett did talk to him, so instead of pestering me romantically, he just pesters me in general.' In a surprisingly good impression of Mike she said, 'What are you and Emmett up to this weekend Rosalie? How is your day Rosalie? What do you think of x, y, z, Rosalie?' I laughed. 'It is infuriating. I would feel sorry for him if he wasn't so annoying.'

'Yeah I felt like that yesterday.' I replied.

'At least Airhead 1 and 2 aren't in today.' She stated, smirking.

'Is that what you call Jessica and Lauren?' I asked laughing again.

'Airhead is my current favourite term yes. I also use, idiot, oompaloompa and fuckwit.' I giggled.

'Weird that Jasper didn't know Lauren wouldn't be in though.' I commented.

'Oh?' Rosalie returned, though her expression suggested she knew something and wasn't sharing. I frowned. As we walked into the cafeteria and sat down, I looked around for Paul, but he wasn't there. I pouted. Rosalie laughed at me,

'Don't worry, he'll be here later, he had an appointment this morning.' I shrugged nonchalantly. Emmett walked up then with Embry and Jared. He kissed Rosalie and then jumped into his seat.

'Where's Jas, Bells?' he asked looking around.

I frowned, 'I don't know, he was in the library with me just now, maybe he just went for another smoke.' I replied. As I spoke Jasper suddenly appeared next to me and sat down. His thigh pressed against mine and I had to prevent myself from jumping at the shock it sent through my body.

'Speak of the devil and the devil appears.' Rosalie said, grinning.

'Devil? Nope, just Jasper, though I also go by God, Jesus and sometimes Yes.' He moaned the last part jokingly and Emmett burst into loud guffaws. The rest of us followed and he shot me a sly grin.

'Classic.' Emmett said, catching his breath. I almost jumped when I felt Jasper's hand touch my leg. His hand felt warm and sent a wave of heat straight to my core. He quickly moved it and I realised he'd just been putting his rucksack under the table.

'Sorry Bella,' he said, jumping into conversation with Embry. I didn't tell him how much I liked his hand touching me. Or that I wish it had been higher. We walked to English together, and this time I actually did sit with him at the back.

Newton shot me a sad look as I walked past his desk, but I only felt relieved.

'Okay everyone, the person next to you is going to be your partner for the lesson today, I want you to study this extract from Romeo and Juliet for the first 15 minutes of the lesson, choose one of the three scenes, then you may go off and practice for half an hour. We'll dedicate the last 15 minutes today, and the first 15 minutes of Thursday's session to your enaction's of the scenes. Off you go.' I groaned slightly, I hated Romeo and Juliet.

'Which scene do you want to do darlin'?' Jasper asked. I looked at the options available and groaned out loud. All of them were romantic scenes. The first was Romeo and Juliet's first meeting, the second was their marriage scene, and the third was the death scene.

'Um, either the first or the third scene.' I replied, 'What do you think?' he looked at them for a moment,

'I think the first one is easier,' He said.

'Okay then.' We read through it a few times, and then decided to head to the smoking area to practice, seeing as it meant we could smoke at the same time.

Once we got there we threw our stuff on the floor and grabbed the scripts.

'I hate acting.' I said laughing. Jasper smirked at me,

'It'll be fine, let's just learn it quickly and then we can chill and smoke.' I nodded in agreement, thankful that the smoking area was empty so no one would have to see the embarrassment that was about to commence.

I didn't want to even think about the fact we'd have to do this in front of the class.

Jasper cleared his throat,

'If I profane with my unworthiest hand/This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this:

My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand/To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.'

I stared at him for a second, his accent made that sound so much hotter than I would have imagined. I took a deep breath.

'Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much/ Which mannerly devotion shows in this,

For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch/And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.'

Jasper furrowed his brow slightly in concentration, 'Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?'

I replied, 'Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.'

His voice was slightly throaty when he said, 'O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.'

'Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.' I said my line shakily, reading the _kisses her_ direction that would follow Jasper's line.

'Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.' He said, moving closer to me, he stared at me for a moment, then placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

I gasped as his lips touched mine. My lips tingled hotly where he had touched me.

He pulled back and took a shaky breath, 'Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.' He looked at me with dark eyes.

My whole body felt like it was on fire. I licked my lips, 'Then have my lips the sin that they have took.'

Jasper gulped, 'Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.' He bent towards me again and touched his lips to mine.

His mouth was hot and his lips soft.

Oh my god. He tasted so fucking good.

He pulled back again and looked at me. His eyes were a shade darker as they bored into mine.

I was breathing heavily, and my eyes darted down to his lips. He licked them and I instinctively leaned closer.

'Bella.' He said in a strangled voice. He was staring at my mouth. My breathing hitched.

Then his lips crashed to mine and I let out a whimper.

He moaned into my mouth, one hand gripping my waist and the other tangling in my hair.

I flicked my tongue against his lips, and he opened his mouth letting it tangle with his. I moaned loudly at the taste of him.

My arms looked around his neck as his mouth moved insistently over mine. My heart was pounding in my chest.

He ran his hands down by back, over my ass, and gripped my legs, lifting me up. He walked me to the wall and sat me on it, I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him towards me, gasping loudly when I felt how hard he was against me. He groaned, kissing down my neck.

I ran my hand up his back, under his shirt, feeling his hot skin.

His mouth met mine again, gently biting my lower lip and I moaned into his mouth. He pushed himself against me harder.

'Ahem'

I pulled away from Jasper in shock. Standing behind us was Newton. Shit.

**A/N**

**OMG. Newton :O What will happen next? This chapter was a lot of Jasper, but don't worry, we'll be seeing some of Paul next chapter! Also, those who are asking, don't panic, Edward will make his appearance at some point, just bear with me ;) They finally kissed! Was it worth it though?**

**xoxo Creaatingmadness**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: New Update! Big apologies for the massive delay in posting this chapter. It's full of juicy sexual tension between Jasper and Bella and some good Paul and Bella action as well. LEMONS AHEAD be warned. **

Chapter 5. 

'Do you think he'll tell anyone?' I whispered to Jasper.

We were sat in back in the English classroom again, watching the first groups present their scenes.

'Not if he values his life.' Jasper whispered back, shooting Newton a glare.

I had panicked when Newton found us, thinking Jasper was going to be furious but he was surprisingly calm. He told Mike that Lauren was going through a lot right now, and it wouldn't be right to tell her about what he'd just witnessed and promised to talk to her himself when she was more stable. He then gave Newton a hug, that would have looked friendly if it weren't for the fact Mike's face went completely white when Jasper let him go. I'm guessing Jasper threatened him, but I didn't ask.

I stared as Cordelia, a short brunette leant forward and kissed Ben, who was pretending to be dead, as part of the scene. They smiled awkwardly after and I sighed. Why couldn't the kiss with Jasper be innocent like that.

Instead it was hot and fiery. I looked at him subtly. I wanted to do it again. Immediately. My face grew hot at the thought and I bit my pen.

I was extremely grateful when Mrs Webber stated that Jasper and I would be performing in next lesson. I had no desire to re-enact that scene today. Especially after that rehearsal.

We walked out the classroom and I was deep in thought, when I was suddenly pulled into a closet.

I panicked momentarily. Before I realised it was just Jasper.

'Fucking hell Jas.' I said, looking around the room warily. With the brooms, cleaning supplies and mops, there was hardly any space for the both of us. There was an automatic lamp above our heads that had turned on when Jasper opened the door, but it wasn't very bright, leaving shadows everywhere.

'Sorry, I just thought we should talk about what happened out there.' He said, reaching his arm awkwardly behind his head.

'I'm sorry.' I apologised, biting my lip. 'We made the pact to be friends, and I really did try, but I-'

'No.' Jasper interrupted. 'Bella, it was completely my fault. I'm the one who kissed you.'

'I kissed you back.' I returned, looking down.

'Yeah.' Jasper said. He looked at me intently then, and I knew like me, he was remembering the kiss.

I became acutely aware then of the small space between us. The heat from the small room, the feeling of Jasper's warm breath against my face. His eyes dropped to my lips and I shivered.

'Bella, I want…' he swallowed heavily, his eyes dark. I felt a rush of heat curl itself in my belly. I licked my lips and Jasper let out a sound, somewhere between a moan and a groan and I couldn't help myself, I leant forward and kissed him.

He responded eagerly, his lips hot and insistent on mine.

He stepped forward, pushing me against the door and I gasped as I felt the hard wood against my back.

He tasted so fucking good. I gasped into his mouth as his hand tangled in my hair, pulling my head towards his as his mouth moved against mine. His tongue flicked into my mouth and I moaned, arching my back and pressing myself into him. He pushed his hips into me, and I felt him hard and pressing into my hip.

He was so hot, I wanted him to touch me. As if I'd said it out loud, his hand slid down my body and gripped my ass, pulling one leg over his hip and aligning our bodies together so his erection pressed into the juncture between my thighs. We both moaned and it seemed to trigger something for Jasper because he suddenly stepped backwards.

We stared at each other, breathing heavily.

'Shit.' I said wincing.

'Shit.' Jasper agreed putting his head in his hands.

It suddenly hit me that I had been making out with someone's boyfriend in a fucking broom closet.

What is wrong with me.

I felt awful.

It was one thing harmlessly flirting with Jasper, but at the end of the day, he had a girlfriend. Even though she was a total bitch, and even though he didn't love her. Hell, even the fact she was essentially emotionally blackmailing him to stay with her. It didn't take away from the fact he was taken. And that made me just like her. My skin went cold suddenly, and I felt sick.

'Jasper we need to stay away from each other.' I said shakily. 'I don't want to be that girl…'

Jasper looked down and sighed. 'I think you're right. I can't keep my hands off you. I don't _want_ to keep my hands off you. That's why this is so fucking hard.' He shook his head. 'I'm going to talk to Lauren. I just need to find a good moment.'

I frowned biting my lip.

'Jasper…I, you shouldn't break up with Lauren because of me. I can't be your girlfriend.'

He chuckled.

'Darlin' don't get me wrong, you're fucking beautiful, and smart, and I won't lie, I do want to date you…but me wanting to break up with Lauren has nothing to do with you. Well- you've given me the courage to do it, but I'm not breaking up with her to start dating you.' He cupped my face gently and then stepped towards me.

He ran his nose up the side of my neck and I shivered as I felt his hot breath on my ear.

'But just so you know darlin'… you say you don't want to date…' he whispered huskily, as his thumb trailed down the valley of my breasts. 'But when I finally fuck you,' he continued. I let out a breathy sigh. 'And I'm making you scream my name.' his thumb continued lower, running over my belly button, 'Again…and again.' He moaned into my ear and I threw back my head gasping, 'You're gonna want to be mine.'

He pulled back and looked at me, eyes dark with lust. I was almost certain I mirrored his expression.

'Time to go, before I can't help myself.' He said, eyes darting down my body again.

I started to turn, and then paused.

'Jas.' I said.

'Yeah?' He returned, raising an eyebrow.

'What about Paul? Are you going to be irritated if I sleep with him again? Because I think that's fucking-'

'Bella stop.' Jasper interrupted. 'I'm not single right now, I can't ask you to not sleep with anyone…I don't know how long ending this thing with Lauren is going to take. I get that you and Paul are just messing around. I told you yesterday, it doesn't change anything for me.'

'How can that be Jas?' I said pointedly.

He smirked, 'Because I know that the way you feel when you're with me is different.' His eyes ran down my body. 'I know that when you fucked him yesterday, it was because I turned you on.' His dark eyes locked with mine, 'I also know that when you're alone, and you're horny and frustrated, you're not going to be thinking of Paul…you'll be thinking of me.'

I laughed, 'That's pretty arrogant of you Jas.'

He licked his lips, 'Are you telling me you're not wet for me right now Bella?' He asked, placing his hand on the door next to me. 'Can you stand there and say that you don't want me to turn you around and _fuck_ you against this door.'

I moaned slightly at his words, feeling a wave of heat rush down my body. I pressed my thighs together tightly.

'Mmm Darlin', does he make you feel like this?' Jasper continued, licking his lips. I felt anticipation curl in my stomach and had to fight the urge to push Jasper against the wall and rip his clothes off.

'No.' I managed to say, panting slightly, my eyes heavy with lust.

'Fuck.' Jasper said shaking his head as his dark eyes scanned my body. 'Remind me not to tease you darlin', when you look at me like that I just want to…' He swallowed heavily. 'If I don't walk out this room right now, I'm not going to be able to stop myself.'

I nodded breathing heavily. Me neither.

Jasper popped his head out the door and then opened it fully.

'All clear.'

We stumbled out the room and I blinked as my eyes adjusted to the brightness.

'Jasper, we have to stay away from each other. Until it's over between you and Lauren.' I told him, the daylight waking me up from my lust induced haze. God it was like I couldn't even think when he was in close proximity to me.

I meant what I'd said to him. I didn't want to be like her. I wouldn't be like _her._

'I know.' He agreed. 'Do you want to go to the cafeteria now and I'll go smoke? Or other way around?' he laughed, 'This is not going to be easy.'

I scoffed, 'I'm sure we can cope when we're in a group…but yeah smoking area we probably shouldn't be alone together. Um, I'll go for a smoke first.'

'Okay.' He shot me a small smile. 'See you later Bella.' He nodded, his eyes light with mischief. I smiled back.

'Bye Jas.'

The smoking area was mostly empty, and I sat on the wall as I smoked, enjoying the silence. This thing with Jasper was not good. But…what he'd said in that room, he wasn't wrong. I'd never wanted anyone the way I want him. Paul was hot as fuck, and sexy too, and the sex was pretty awesome. But the way I felt when Jasper touched me…it was like I was burning inside. And fuck when he kissed me, I've never felt lust like that before. It was so intense that I think if he hadn't had stopped us in the cupboard, we would probably have had sex.

I gulped. I could only imagine how good it would be with Jasper. I imagined his hands all over me, his mouth between my legs, gripping onto his shoulders with my legs wrapped around his waist…him pinning me against that door and pulling up my dress. I let out a shaky breath.

But we couldn't.

Not while he was with Lauren. And god knows how long it would take him to end it. From what Rosalie said she was completely psychotic. I finished my cigarette and made my way to the cafeteria. As I walked to the table, Jasper's looked up at me and I felt a rush of heat go through me as we locked gazes.

Great.

So now even looking at him was turning me on. I smiled wryly at the thought. Typical.

I sat down and exchanged greetings with everyone, making a solid effort not to look at Jasper.

'So, Bella, you'll soon get to meet the love of Embry's life.' Rosalie cackled.

I grinned, looking towards him.

'Oh, you have Spanish now?' Embry said raising his eyebrows.

'Yep. Am I going to be blown away?' I asked shooting him a wink.

'Yes. She's fucking amazing.' Embry retorted.

'Definitely too good for you.' Jasper teased nudging him.

Embry turned to whack him on the head and Jasper let out an indignant sound, making me laugh.

His eyes met mine and he smiled softly at me. I felt a tug in my chest and looked away alarmed.

'Where are we gonna pre-game on Saturday?' Emmett asked Rosalie. I tuned into their conversation.

'I don't know.' Rosalie pondered, 'Hey Jas, are your parents gonna be back by the weekend or are they still away?'

Jasper turned from Embry to look at her. 'They're gone for two weeks so yeah, my house will be free, we can pre there.'

'Woo.' Emmett hooted. They chatted away about the party and I smiled relieved when Rosalie offered me half her sandwich. I needed to bring in food tomorrow.

If anyone noticed that I was being quiet, they didn't comment, and I was left to my own thoughts. Something about Renee's behaviour this morning didn't add up. But I couldn't place what the issue was.

Jasper got up then and instinctively my eyes flew to him. I looked at his honey locks and bright blue eyes and felt a rising hatred for Lauren. If it wasn't for her, I could have him. As if he read my mind, he smiled sympathetically at me before telling everyone he was off to smoke. He asked me if I wanted to go, but I said no, as we'd arranged earlier. His timing was perfect because less than five minutes after he walked out the cafeteria Paul walked in.

My eyes locked with his and I bit my lip. He looked just as sexy as he had yesterday. His brown hair was slightly wavy, he'd styled it differently. He was wearing black jeans and a blue top. He met my gaze and winked at me as he walked towards us. I felt myself heat up with anticipation when I saw him. This morning's moments with Jasper had left me so pent up I was desperate for a release.

He greeted the others and then sat down next to me, his hand going straight to rest on my thigh.

'Hi Bella.' He said to me, smirking at me.

'Hi Paul.' I replied, offering him a sly grin. I squirmed slightly as his hand drew higher and had to hold back my moan as it reached the apex of my legs. He drew in a sharp breath as he felt how soaking I was.

'Fuck me Bella.' He whispered in my ear, 'What's got you so worked up.'

I looked at him with heavy eyes and he smirked, running his fingers over my clit slightly. I gripped his thigh.

'Mmm want me to take care of you baby?' he whispered huskily, his fingers brushing my panties aside slightly, the pads of his fingers dipping inside.

I bit my lip and nodded.

He gave me a quick grin, 'Meet me by the gym toilets in 5 minutes, there's no one there during lunch.' He whispered. I told Rosalie I was heading to the bathroom and she just gave me a pointed look and then a wide smile.

'Sure.' She replied, rolling her eyes. I swatted her playfully and walked off.

As Paul had stated, the gym toilets were completely empty, and in further luck, there was a lock on the main door of the girl's bathroom, meaning we wouldn't be interrupted. I had only been inside for five minutes when Paul walked through the door, locking it behind him.

'Hi.' He said grinning at me.

'Hi back.' I replied.

'What's got you so hot and bothered?' He asked, walking towards me.

'I don't know.' I lied. 'Just horny.'

'Oh yeah?'

'Yeah.'

'What do you want Bella?' he asked, staring at me cockily.

'I want you.' I replied. My eyes scanned his body. That wasn't a lie. Paul was fucking hot. And even better, he wasn't going to see this as anything more than it was. Taking out sexual frustration on each other.

He opened his arms and raised his eyebrows, 'I'm right here.'

I laughed. He wanted me to come to him. Fine.

I took the two steps towards him, grabbed his hair and pulled his mouth to mine.

If he was shocked by my actions, he didn't show it. He licked at my lips until I opened my mouth and his tongue tangled against mine.

I moaned loudly. 'No foreplay.' I said pulling back, 'I want it hard and fast.'

'Fine by me.' Paul replied, slapping my ass slightly. He turned me so my back was pressed against his chest and pulled me into a searing kiss. I melted back into his body moaning. He walked us forwards slightly and then gently put pressure on my back. I got the message and gripped onto the sink in front of me. His hands ran down my sides sending trails of pleasure down my skin.

'God this dress is so hot Bella.' He muttered, pulling it up over my ass and moaning when he saw my thong, his hands gripping my ass.

A quick flash of Jasper doing this to me ran through my head and I felt a new rush of wetness at the thought. As Paul pulled down my underwear, I replayed Jasper's naughty words from earlier.

'_But when I finally fuck you, and I'm making you scream my name again and again, you're gonna want to be mine.'_

Paul groaned behind me as his fingers pressed inside of me. 'Fuck me baby, you're so wet Jesus. You really want this don't you.'

I moaned in response, pushing my hips back against his fingers.

I heard the sound of a condom wrapper opening and shivered in anticipation.

It wasn't long before I felt him hot and hard against my entrance and I gripped the sink hard.

'I'm going to fuck you so hard baby.' Paul groaned, gripping my hips as he pushed into me.

We both moaned loudly, and I gasped at how full I felt with him inside me.

'Oh yeah.' He moaned pulling back and then slamming his hips forwards. He repeated the movement making my eyes roll into the back of my head.

'Fuck yes!' I cried as he increased the pace. I gripped the sink harder as he fucked me.

'Harder.' I cried. He grunted behind me as he gripped my hips, pulling them back into him just as he thrust forward.

'Yes. Just like that. Oh fuck, just like that.' I cried.

**X**

'Shit, look at my hair.' I said to Paul, standing in front of the sink and trying to tame my messy locks.

Paul paused in the middle of putting his belt on.

'I like it. You look like you've been thoroughly fucked.'

I laughed.

'I have.' I said winking. Paul smirked and came up behind me to kiss my neck.

'So what's gonna happen with Jasper?' He asked, raising his eyebrows at me in the mirror.

I sighed. Of course Jasper had told him. I would never understand guys.

'I don't know, I don't date…so even if he ends things with Lauren, nothings gonna happen.'

Paul grinned.

'I'm sure _something_ will happen.' He winked. I rolled my eyes.

'Hey, you never know, maybe Jasper will make you want to settle down.' He teased.

I turned around to face him, wrapping my arms around his muscled shoulders.

'Nope.' I replied, 'Bella Swan does not date. Period. It only ends in disappointment.'

Paul smiled at me. 'My philosophy exactly Bells, but then, fucked up parents equal fucked up children don't they.'

I pulled back, 'What do you mean?' I said glaring at him. I hadn't told anyone about my past so how did he know. Did he know someone from Forks.

'Hey,' He said grabbing my waist, 'Nobody has an attitude like yours and a good family situation. If you want to talk about it, then I'm here. Or you know, if you want to take out your frustrations.' He rubbed his thumb against my waist and I shivered in response.

I paused, unsure what to say. 'Do you want to talk about it?' I asked nervously.

'Fuck no.' He replied looking disgusted.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

'Thank fuck for that.' I said. 'I mean if you want to talk about it I'll listen but I'm just not good at all that shit and-'

He interrupted me with a laugh.

'I'm not so into the talking about it thing, I'm into fun.' He said grinning at me.

'Me too.' I replied smiling at him.

'Then what are we doing still talking?' He said, grabbing my waist and pulling me closer.

I smiled as I leant up and kissed him. He responded eagerly kissing me intensely, his hands coming up to tangle in my hair.

He did exactly what I would have done. Deflected the conversation about feelings with sex. Hell it was all I ever did.

He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, moaning when I felt him harden between my legs. He sat me down on the sink and pulled my dress up to my waist. My hands scrabbled at his belt as he started kissing down my neck.

'We need to be quick or we'll be late for 4thperiod.' I gasped.

Paul looked up at me from where he'd dropped to his knees and smirked as he spread my legs open.

'Then we'll be late.' He responded, burying his head between my legs.

I rushed into the Spanish classroom just as the bell rung and sighed in relief. Rosalie was at the back and she waved me over.

'How was lunch?' She asked with raised eyebrows and a glint in her eye.

'Filling.' I replied with a smirk.

'Ew.' She said laughing.

'Don't ask if you don't wanna know.' I responded, winking at her.

'Who said I don't wanna know.' She grinned, 'Give me details.'

I laughed and explained what had happened in the bathroom.

'You and Paul are such a pair…' she said after I finished talking. 'You're basically the girl version of him.'

I shrugged. 'Makes for good sex.'

She smirked, 'I bet.'

And it achieved its purpose. I wasn't thinking about Jasper as much.

'I'm sure you and Emmett are far from Vanilla.' I asked raising one eyebrow.

Rose grinned and winked at me.

I turned my gaze to the front of the classroom and surveyed Embry's crush, Senora Gomez. She was in her mid twenties with wavy hair that stopped just above her shoulders. Her deep brown eyes were framed with thick black lashes and a pair of black glasses. She wore a yellow sundress that accentuated her figure. Wow. I could see why Embry was obsessed with her.

'Damn, if I was gay I'd be in love with her too!' I whispered to Rosalie.

She laughed, 'I know, I think she's the wet dream of every single guy in this school. I'm sure Paul would have tried to sleep with her if it wasn't for Embry's crush. He doesn't just want to fuck her he's in love with her, poor guy. Never gonna happen.'

'That's nice of him to not sleep with her.' I replied. I'm sure she'd say yes to Paul. He was far too sexy for anyone to say no. I smiled to myself.

Rosalie laughed. 'Paul is only an asshole to women. And in his defence he tells them he doesn't want to date them and it's just sex. They just always want more.'

She gave me a pointed look and I smiled, 'That doesn't make him an asshole, and if he is one, so am I.'

She laughed, 'See, both the same.'

Paul and I clearly had way more in common than I realised. We both used sex to escape relationships and trust and fucked up home situations. Even though I had no idea what his situation was.

'Nothing wrong with enjoying sex.' I said grinning.

Rosalie rolled her eyes.

'Honestly Bella, I used to be a lot like you once.' She said seriously.

I looked at her surprised. Rose was stunning, so it didn't surprise me she'd had attention but I didn't take her for someone who'd sleep around.

'Really?' I replied.

'Yep.'

'Till you met Emmett?' I said asked, curious.

Rosalie's face went dark and she looked down.

'Nope.'

I studied her face. If it was me, I wouldn't want to be asked any more questions. Plus, having hung out with Rose for a few days, I got the impression if she had something she wanted to say she'd say it.

'Okay.' I replied.

She tossed her hair slightly and looked back to the front.

'What do you have after this?' I asked, yawning.

'History.' Rose said sighing.

'Yuck.' I said sympathetically. The only good part of that class was the fact I had it with Emmett and Jasper.

'How about you?'

'Trig.' I said with a smile. I know, crazy. But trig was one of my favourite subjects.

'Oh I hate trig!' Rosalie replied making a face.

I laughed. So did a lot of people. Edward hated trig. It was the one thing I was the best at, because he was better or just as good at everything else.

I frowned slightly, why was it that this school was bringing up so many memories of Edward.

When I walked into Trig I was pleased to see Embry and Paul sitting together in the back row.

'Hello boys.' I said pleasantly, winking at Paul. He shook his head at me smiling.

'I met your lover.' I said to Embry, rolling the 'r' and the end of 'lover'.

Embry turned to me with a grin.

'Isn't she amazing.' He gushed.

I laughed.

'Actually yes, I was saying to Rose, if I was gay, I'd be fighting you for her attention.' I winked at him.

Embry gaped at me.

Paul mouthed, 'hot' behind him and I fought a giggle.

'So have you actually spoken to her?' I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

Embry scoffed at me, 'Yes I've spoken to her.' He said indignantly.

Paul snorted and Embry turned to him incredulously,

'I do so talk to her.' He spat at him.

Paul raised his hands up,

'Oh yeah, "Senora Gomez, how do I say, I want to fuck your brains out in Española."'

Embry punched Paul playfully laughing.

'Quiero joderte el cerebro.' I said with a smirk.

Paul and Embry turned to look at me with shock.

'What?' I said shrugging, 'I happen to enjoy Spanish.'

Embry laughed, 'Damn Bella, you're full of surprises.' He said with a grin.

Paul just shot me an extremely naughty smile and I bit my lip with a smirk.

I already wanted him again.

Was I a sex addict? I thought my wants were normal but between Paul and Jasper I felt like I spent every waking moment being horny.

As if he could read my thoughts Paul mouthed, 'After school.'

I stifled a laugh but shot him a nod.

Trig flew by, I was so lost in the work that I barely even spoke to Embry and Paul, and when the bell rung, Paul was smiling at my wryly.

'You're so hot when you're being all intelligent and shit.' He said grinning.

I glanced at him with a smirk,

'Are you going to pretend you're not acing Trig?' I said, raising my eyebrows. 'I saw how quickly you were writing down answers during Mr Lovett's 'Quickfire round'…'

Paul shook his head, 'You're surprisingly perceptive Swan.' He stated, eyes meeting mine playfully.

Embry laughed, 'Dear god you two. Would you just fuck already?' He rolled his eyes.

'Oh, we have.' Paul said with a grin. I rolled my eyes.

Embry just laughed again, and headed out the door, running to talk to some guy with brown hair and glasses, Ben I think?

I stood up, grabbing my stuff.

'So, wanna hang out?' I asked Paul flirtatiously.

He shot me grin, 'Abso-fucking-lutely. I do believe I mentioned something about needed to fuck you in a bed.'

I smirked, 'That you did.'

He laughed, his hand going to the small of my back and drifting down slightly to where my short dress finished, just under my ass cheeks.

He bit his lip cheekily. 'No one's ever home at my place.' he shot me a grin.

'Sounds good to me, I'll follow you.' I said with a laugh.

As we walked out to the cars Rose and Emmett were standing in front of a brand new Jeep Wrangler that was parked next to my beat up Cadillac.

'Is this yours?' I asked Emmett with a grin, I had a thing for Jeeps.

'Yup.' He said proudly.

'Ooh sick.' I replied, staring at the car adoringly, 'V-6 and 285 Horsepower.' I looked at the hood longingly, 'Mind if I check her out?' I said grinning.

Emmett looked at me surprised, 'You like cars?' he asked with raised eyebrows.

I felt Paul come up behind me.

'God damn could you be any fucking hotter.' He whispered in my ear.

I bit my lip flushing.

'So can I Em?' I asked imploringly.

He laughed, 'Sure Bells, go for it.'

Rosalie appeared next to me, 'I'd love to know more about cars, you should teach me Bella!' She said, as I popped the hood and bent over carefully, making sure not to flash the guys behind me.

'Aw she's so fucking clean Em!' I said excitedly.

'What's Bella doing?' I heard Embry say.

'She's checking out Em's gear.' Paul said laughing.

Emmett laughed loudly behind me.

I turned back with a smirk and was surprised to see Jasper standing there next to Embry. The look in his eyes when they met mine made me shiver. They were so dark and full of lust. I turned back to the car and took in a shaky breath before pointing out various elements to Rosalie.

She seemed to be paying close attention and I smiled at her interest.

'If I get this job at the garage Rose, you should come down sometimes and I can teach you more!' I said to her smiling.

She grinned, 'Sounds great B, I'd love that.'

'Hey I should grab your number!' I exclaimed. She gave it to me and I sent her a text saying,

_It's Bella x_

'Got it.' Rose said with a grin.

I shut Emmett's hood and we walked back over to our little group.

As we entered the circle, Paul grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back into him and I laughed when he planted a kiss on my cheek, his hands tickling my legs where my dress hem ended.

As the other's started talking, I watched Jasper, curious to see if he would be pissed at Paul, or irritated, but he just looked at me with a glint in his eye.

I remembered what he had said earlier about it not bothering him because he knew that the way I felt around him was different. As if he could read my thoughts Jasper's eyes darkened.

Suddenly the heat in my belly intensified and I was acutely aware of Paul's proximity to my body. Desire rushed through me as I stared at Jasper's dark eyes.

He smirked at me then, his tongue coming out to wet his bottom lip and I felt my stomach flip.

I pushed my hips back into Paul slightly as a nudge that I wanted to get going and he immediately got it because his grip on my waist tightened slightly.

'Anyway, I've gotta get going, I'll see you guys tomorrow.' Paul said behind me.

I nodded, 'Yeah me too.' Rosalie rolled her eyes at me playfully.

'See you tomorrow.' I said, meaning it as a collective message, but struggling to take my eyes of Jasper.

As I got into my car, I realised that tomorrow Lauren would be back, which would mean I'd barely see him. It was probably for the best. Until they broke up, I needed to keep my distance.

The drive to Paul's house was a bit longer than the drive to Phil's flat, and in the complete opposite direction. His blue Ford was easy to follow through the traffic so I tuned out a little, listening to the radio as I let my autopilot take over.

He pulled to a stop in front of a big house, with the whole shebang of domesticity, a picket fence, porch swing and plenty of bright flower beds.

'Wow.' I said, taking it in. It was a gorgeous house.

Paul laughed darkly, 'Yeah, looks can be deceiving Bella.' He said, walking forward and unlocking the front door.

Inside painted a different picture. The house was well decorated, don't get me wrong, but it was very show homey, there was almost no photos, or trinkets, and it looked fairly unlived in.

'Where are your parents?' I asked as we walked into the kitchen and Paul threw down his stuff.

'My dad and his trophy wife are in the Bahamas, and I don't have a mother.' He said matter-of-factly.

I nodded in response. I knew him well enough after the past few days to not ask any questions.

'Want something to eat or drink?' Paul asked.

As if on cue my stomach rumbled.

'I seem to have skipped lunch.' I said laughing.

Paul met my gaze with a grin. 'What a shame.'

I rolled my eyes playfully. 'What have you got?' I asked.

15 minutes later we were sat at the kitchen table drinking coke and tucking into some ham and cheese toasties.

'I didn't know you could cook.' I said, pleasantly surprised by how good it tasted.

Paul scoffed, 'It's a fucking toastie Bells. It's not hard.'

I pouted indignantly, 'Well I actually tend to burn my toasties.'

He laughed, 'No way. I bet you're a good cook.'

I smiled, 'I can cook some stuff really well yeah, but when it comes to boiling pasta and toasting bread, I'm a fucking nightmare.'

Paul rolled his eyes, 'Only you would find the easy things difficult, but ace the hard stuff.'

I helped him clear the plates away.

'How long are they away for?' I asked, unsure of whether it was going to far.

'I don't actually know, probably another 3 months or so.' He replied without skipping a beat.

Wow, we were a dysfunctional pair Rose was right.

He turned to me then and smiled, grabbing my waist to pick me up and place me on the island.

'This fucking dress.' He said playfully, spreading my legs and stepping between them.

I smiled, 'You like it?'

Paul grinned, grabbing the ham, 'I'll like it even more when it's on the floor.'

His hands slipped under the dress and he pulled it over my head, revealing my midnight blue underwear.

He moaned appreciatively as he took me in.

'You were so fucking hot bent over that Jeep.' He said huskily, kissing my neck.

I tilted my head back moaning. His hands ran up my bare legs and ghosted over my blue thong, sending shivers of desire to my core.

'You're wearing far too many clothes.' I said, gripping his T-shirt in my hand and pulling it over his head, revealing his muscled torso.

I splayed my hands across his abs as I kissed his warm chest. Hooking my legs behind his ass, I pulled him closer, continuing my kisses down his body.

'Mmm.' He moaned as my fingers inched lower, dusting over the V at his hips.

'Show me your bedroom.' I said huskily, my hands tangling in his hair as I pulled his lips to mine.

The kiss was hot and fiery and I moaned into his mouth as he pushed his tongue into mine.

He gripped my legs and picked me up, walking me out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I continued kissing him and wrapped my legs around his body tighter, wanting to feel him against me.

I gasped when he dropped us onto a bed with dark blue sheets and crawled between my legs, kissing up my body.

'Fuck yes.' He moaned as he pulled off my bra. 'I've wanted you naked in my bed since the minute I fucking saw you.'

I arched my back in pleasure as he flicked his tongue across my left nipple playfully.

'Paul.' I moaned, tangling my fingers in his hair. He moved his mouth back over my nipple, this time sucking it into his mouth.

'Oh fuck.' I moaned, the sensation sending waves of fire to my tightly coiled stomach.

I pulled his mouth back up to mine and kissed him fiercely, my hands scrabbling to undo his belt.

I pulled down his jeans with my hands and feet, leaving him in a pair of tight grey boxers.

I licked my lips as I laid eyes on his thick bulge.

Paul kissed his way down to my other nipple, taking the peak between his lips and alternating between biting gently and sucking.

He pulled my underwear off my hips and I moaned, my hips moving of the own accord, seeking friction.

Paul's mouth met mine again and I twisted us over so I could straddle his lap. He looked up at me through his lashes, his thumb reaching to rub against my clit. I moaned, god he was so good at that.

I palmed his underwear covered cock and he bucked his hips up at me.

'Fuck Bella.' He groaned.

I licked my lips,

'Paul.' I moaned, grinding down on him.

'Fuck baby, I want you.' He groaned, one hand rubbing my clit and the other thumb running across my nipple.

I was so turned on, his touch was sending waves of pleasure rocking through my body but it wasn't enough, I needed him inside me.

Together we pulled his underwear off and I crawled back up his body, kissing his tight stomach and gently biting his nipple.

'Condoms are in the top drawer.' Paul gestured next to him.

I leant over to grab one and giggled as he playfully squeezed my ass.

My laughs quickly turned into moans as he moved his hand lower and pushed two fingers inside me. He curled them towards him, hitting that sweet spot inside me and making me cry out.

'Fuck.' I gasped.

He put the condom on, and I shifted my hips so I was hovering over him.

He looked up at me, 'You're so fucking hot Bella.' He moaning, bucking his hips up.

I slowly sank down onto him and we both moaned loudly.

'Jesus you always feel so fucking good.' Paul groaned, gripping my hip as I started rocking my hips forward.

I lifted my hips and slammed them down onto him.

'Oh yeah.' He groaned, jutting his hips up to meet my thrusts.

The pace increased and my tits started bouncing up and down at the force of his thrusts.

'Oh fuck.' I cried out as his thumb pressed against my clit, rubbing in small circles.

It's like he knew exactly what I needed because it wasn't long before I was close.

'Oh my god, Paul I'm gonna-' I cried, bouncing down on him harder, slamming my hips down with every thrust.

'That's it baby.' Paul interrupted huskily, thrusting harder, 'Come all over my cock.'

My orgasm kept building and building, and I let out a scream as I came heavily, my hands gripping his shoulders tightly.

His thrusts slowed down slightly as I came down from my high. Paul sat up suddenly, changing the angle and I moaned loudly at the sensation.

'You look so fucking sexy when you come.' He moaned, kissing me hotly. I tangled my hands in his hair, rocking my hips over his.

Suddenly he flipped us so I was lying on my back under him.

He kissed my neck as he started thrusting into me faster and I threw back my head in pleasure.

I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly as he fucked me, my fingernails gripping into his muscled back.

His body felt so hot and heavy against mine it was so hot.

'Fuck.' He moaned into my ear as I clenched around him, 'Jesus Bella I'm not gonna last long.' He gasped, gripping my hip as he rocked his hips into me.

I could feel myself building up to an orgasm again and I felt myself shaking around him.

'Mmm that's it baby.' Paul grunted, fucking me harder.

'Oh.' I gasped, 'Oh fuck, right there, oh fuck.'

I threw back my head in a silent 'o' as I came for the second time.

Paul followed me a few second later, groaning loudly as he came.

He rolled off me and lay next to me, both of us breathing heavily.

'Fuck.' I said appreciatively.

'Fuck.' Paul agreed, turning to look at me with a smirk.

We lay there in silence for a few minutes catching our breaths.

I got up then, stretching my arms over my head as I stood up next to the bed.

Paul looked at me with a lazy smile on his face.

'I'm going to head off.' I said, laughing in shock as he launched up and tackled me back to the bed.

He kissed me hotly, his hand tangling in my hair.

He pulled back and I looked at him breathlessly.

'Okay, now you can go.' He said laughing.

I rolled my eyes, slapping him gently and got back up, looking for my underwear.

I was looking for my dress when I realised it was still downstairs.

'Hang on, I'll come with.' Paul said, hopping out of bed.

I walked into the kitchen and threw on my blue dress, smiling when Paul passed me a glass of water.

I drank it and then started walking to the door.

'Thanks for the toastie.' I said with a grin.

Paul rolled his eyes. 'You're welcome.'

I looked into the empty house.

I knew I should probably say something like, 'Are you okay here by yourself? Or, do you want me to stay? But that just wasn't me.'

'Three times in one day, I think we've set a great precedence.' Paul said with a smirk.

I laughed, 'Hey technically we only had sex twice, that middle one was just you giving me spectacular head.'

Paul grinned, 'See you tomorrow Swan.'

I smiled back, 'See you tomorrow.'

**A/N: So there you have it. For those asking about Edward, don't worry, he's coming, but Bella is plenty occupied by the others for now. Also, this story does have a plot, and it's actually going to be quite complex, so give it time! Everything will work out the way it's supposed to in the end. **

**Love to you all!**

**Creaatingmadness xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Be warned this chapter is a little explicit, lots of adult content and lemony goodness.**

Chapter 6

I was 5 minutes from the flat when I realised that I was supposed to go to the garage this evening to get a job. Fucking typical. I was exhausted too. But I did really want to get a job sorted.

I sighed and turned the car around in someone's driveway. The garage was called Cullen's. I'd looked them up online and they were actually a thriving business! It was owned by someone called Carlisle. I'd spoken to him on the phone to see if they had anything available and he'd sounded nice. He'd said to just pop down at some point this week. From what I'd looked up, they had 5 mechanics on site as well as some trainees. I wanted to be able to work as a trainee, which was available part time and mainly involved assisting the mechanics and learning the trade. If I wasn't accepted though, I would settle for doing anything there, I just wanted to be around cars.

When I saw the yellow sign at the bottom of the road I smiled. It was a big yellow sign with 'Cullen's Garage' written in slanted green letters that balanced across the roof of a bright red Chevy. The colours were garish and the sign was a little rusty around the edges but I loved the individuality of it.

The garage itself was huge. There was a long driveway leading up to a large white building. There was no wall at the front. Stretching up to 3 meters and at least 10 meters long, the space was massive. At either side of the big opening were large black foldable doors. I assumed they pulled together and locked when the garage shut for night. Within the space I could see 5 sections. Each one had a car in it. Some of them were raised high off above the ground, whilst the one on the end simply had the hood up. There were a few people around, tending to each of the cars. It looked like there were more cars parked at the back of the garage but I couldn't make them out properly. On the far right was an enclosed section with a glass door and a large sign across it reading, 'Office'.

Outside the building were about 12 parking bays and I pulled up into one and got out the car, pulling my blue dress down so it covered me up properly.

As I started walking to the office someone darted out the garage and waved at me.

'Hey, is there anything I can help with?' He asked, smiling at me. He was around 30 with short dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes. Definitely not ugly but too old and not my type.

'No thanks,' I replied smiling back, 'I'm here to talk to Carlisle actually, about the part time trainee position?'

He raised his eyebrows before glancing down at my bare legs. I rolled my eyes.

'Really?' He said finally, 'We don't get many girls wanting to work here. Other than Susan of course.' He gestured behind him with his thumb at a red head who was unscrewing tyres.

I glanced to her and back to him, 'I'm sure.'

He looked me up and down again with a grin, 'Okay, office is that way.'

I nodded and started to walk forwards.

'What's your name?' He called behind me.

I turned back, 'Bella.'

He smiled, 'Nice to meet you Bella, I'm Royce.'

I just nodded and continued walking forward.

The office door made a ding as I entered, and the sound made me trip a little over the step.

'Fuck.' I muttered.

I looked up to see a blonde man sitting at a desk with a bemused smile on his face as he looked at me. He looked in his early 50s, and his eyes were a bright blue. He was actually extremely attractive for an older man and I blushed a little.

The room was quite big with a high ceiling and light green walls. The desk the man was sitting at was the only one occupied. It sat in the middle next to another desk, with the other two aligning either wall. At the back of the room was a doorway and through it a fridge peeked on the left side. It was clean and tidy.

'Sorry.' I said smiling cheekily.

He just laughed and returned my smile.

'How can I help you?' He asked, getting up from his desk.

I recognised his voice, 'Are you Carlisle?' I asked walking towards him, 'I'm Bella Swan, we spoke on the phone.'

He held out his hand to shake and I obliged. His hand was rough but warm and he gripped my hand gently.

'Yes, Bella! Lovely to meet you.' He replied. His accent sounded almost British and I wondered if he was from there or had lived there at some point.

'Have a seat.' He said smiling and gesturing to the seat in front of his desk.

I sat down, crossing my legs carefully to avoid revealing my underwear. The dress was hot on me, but perhaps not so practical for job interviews.

'So Bella, on the phone you said you were interested in getting a job here. What would you like to do?' He asked, grabbing a notebook.

I bit my lip, 'Well I don't know how many spots are available, but I'd love to be a part-time trainee.' I said earnestly, 'I'm happy to work everyday after school and weekends!'

Carlisle nodded, 'Have you worked with cars before?'

I twisted my lips to the side, 'No, not properly.'

He smiled gently, 'Okay, well the only issue with that is trainee's need to have a decent knowledge of cars and the systems so they can assist the mechanics properly. Would you say you have that?'

I nodded. 'Definitely.'

Carlisle smiled widely and it was so attractive I found myself slightly speechless.

'That's great!' He exclaimed. 'Can I ask you a few questions just to be sure? We have a normal worksheet here that I get everyone to answer.'

I nodded. I'd expected that I'd need to confirm I knew what I was talking about.

'Okay Bella, just take your time with these okay. Question one, after any suspension or chassis work, what do you need to do the vehicle?'

I considered the question, 'An alignment?'

'Yes, good. What would that entail?'

I chose my words carefully, 'First of all, it would depend on the car suspension, because a four-wheel alignment would only be necessary if the car had all-wheel drive or if it was a front wheel drive but had separate or adjustable rear suspensions. If I was doing a four-wheel, I'd adjust both axles. Otherwise, if it's not a four-wheel I'd just adjust the front-axle component. Either way I'd make sure the toe, thrust, camber and castor angles were in the correct position.'

Carlisle grinned, 'Good answer. Okay next…'

The questions were fairly straight forward, and I answered them all to the best of my ability. I knew that my answers could have been more complex if my knowledge was wider, but I did feel like I showed off the knowledge I had.

When I'd answered the final question, Carlisle looked at me impressed.

'Wow Bella you know a lot more than I would have expected for someone your age and with the little experience you've had.' I blushed slightly at the compliment.

'Thank you.' I replied with a smile.

'So, let's go have a little tour of the place and show you around.' He said, gesturing to me to get up.

'Does this mean I've been accepted?' I dared to ask, trying not to get my hopes up.

Carlisle laughed, 'Yes, you're more than suitable for the position and we definitely need someone. You can start on Monday. With you, we'll be up to our full number of trainees which makes business much easier.'

He walked out the office and I followed him, unable to stop the wide grin that marked my face.

As we walked through to the garage Carlisle explained how it operated. Each of the mechanics had two trainees assigned to them, one part time, and one full time.

Unfortunately, out of the five mechanics that worked at the garage, only four were in today, so I wouldn't meet Alex, and his trainee's, who were Sam, who worked full-time and Jack.

In bay one, was Royce, who I'd already met. He gave me sly grin as we approached, and I internally rolled my eyes. Not interested buddy.

His part-time trainee wasn't in, but Seth, his full-time trainee was. He was a really sweet guy, and also really hot. He was maybe 25 or so, with deep brown eyes and dark messy hair.

I flashed him an interested smile but his responding one was purely friendly, and I noticed a wedding band on his left hand with a slight pout.

Ah, unlucky me, and lucky girl. To be honest, it would probably be a very, very bad idea to sleep with someone at work.

I made a mental note that however hot any of the employees were, I would not engage.

In bay two was Susan. She was totally awesome. She looked as though she was in her mid-thirties and had bright red hair and sparkling blue eyes. From her accent I was pretty sure she was from Boston. Her trainees were James, who was about 19 and worked part-time, and Oscar who looked like he was around 24. They both gave me big smiles, and James looked at me like a lovestruck puppy.

I smiled gently back, careful not to show too much interest. I knew guys like James, one big smile and he'd be asking me out. I definitely didn't want that to happen, it would make things so awkward.

Bay three belonged to Garrett. He was around 50, with short grey hair and warm brown eyes.

'Is this my new trainee?' Garett said with a grin as he shook my hand.

I looked to Carlisle and he nodded, 'Yep, Bella will be your part-timer.'

I looked around but didn't see anyone else.

'Do you have a full-time too?' I asked curiously.

Gareth laughed. 'I do, his name is Mason, he's not in today, but he'll be here when you start on Monday.'

'Okay cool.' I said, hoping that Mason, whoever he was, was nice and not a complete prick. It would make working at the garage so much better if I could be friends with him.

Bay three belonged to Jared. He was in his early thirties, with tanned skin, dark hair and a close-cut beard. In his left ear was a small hooped earring. A mixture of tattoos ran up his neck and down his arms. Basically, he was exceptionally hot. Unfortunately, he was also exceptionally gay.

Like Garrett, his permanent trainee wasn't in today, but his part-timer was a nice enough guy, around my age called Sam. He gave me a shy smile but didn't really engage with me. I didn't blame him, I was kind of intimidating.

As Carlisle pulled Sam over to chat to him, Jared turned to me with a smile.

'Nice to meet you Bella!' he said hugging me. 'You are gorgeous'

I smiled laughing, 'So are you.' I replied almost wistfully.

He grinned, 'Hey, if I was straight, I'd be all over you.'

I giggled. 'I wouldn't be saying no.' I winked.

He grinned, 'It'll good to have someone fun around! I'm fairly sure half of the guys are in love with you already.'

I rolled my eyes with a smile.

After I'd met everyone I went back to Garrett, who gave me his number.

'I'll call you tomorrow and we'll figure out a schedule for you to come in during the week and on weekends. For now, just come in on Monday at 5ish, does that work? We close at 10pm on Mondays and Thursday's, but otherwise it's 8.30.' He told me with a grin.

'Okay sounds good.' I replied echoing his smile. I was so excited to start.

**X**

Jasper pushed me against the wall kissing me heavily. I groaned, tangling my fingers in his hair and pulling slightly. He kissed down my neck hotly, running his tongue and sucking gently as he went. I shivered in pleasure.

He pulled back. His eyes glinted as he looked at me, 'Who do you think about when you make yourself come Darlin?'

He cupped my breasts in his hands and kissed the visible skin, moving my bra out the way as he placed hot open-mouthed kisses across the peak. I threw back my head and moaned as he wrapped his warm mouth around my nipple.

'You.' I gasped, my fingers threading through his hair as he sucked and licked my nipple. He moaned, his hands running down my body and towards the juncture between my legs. I bucked my hips towards him, and he chuckled darkly, pulling away.

'Mmm do you want me to touch you.' He asked, his dark eyes locking with mine. I nodded, my chest heaving with desire.

'Fuck.' Jasper swore as his eyes ran down my body. I sighed frustratedly and he smirked slightly, grabbing my hips.

'Mmmm Bella.' He murmured, his long fingers dancing across my skin.

He was so close. I bit my lip in anticipation. His lips met mine again, hot and insistent.

'Uh.' I gasped into his mouth as his finger brushed aside my panties.

He pulled back and licked his lips before chuckling darkly, 'Oh you're so fucking wet for me aren't you.'

I whimpered at his words. That accent was so fucking hot. Then his finger was sliding in me and-

I woke up suddenly, panting heavily. I looked around my room disorientated. It was still dark.

I pressed my thighs together and sighed. I was so horny. I picked up my phone, but it was 4am. Nobody would be willing for a booty call at this time.

I moaned out loud as my dream flashed through my head again. Settling into the covers, I moved my hand between my legs.

**X**

The morning was off to a terrible start.

First, I'd woken up 30 minutes late, leaving me only fifteen minutes to shower, get dressed and sort my shit out. I quickly showered, dried my hair and threw on a high waisted denim skirt and a cute white and blue stripy top that showed ample cleavage. When I finished putting on mascara I only had five minutes to wolf down a piece of toast before I had to leave. I gratefully accepted the sandwich Renee handed me as I walked out the door, though I was a little confused by the gesture.

Maybe she was finally sorting herself out.

Annoyingly, once I got in my car, it decided to not start, so I had to go back into the house, drag Phil out of bed to turn on his car, so I could jumpstart my engine.

When I left the flat I was already 10 minutes late for first period.

The bad luck didn't end there.

I was delayed on the way into school for fifteen minutes, while two suburban moms freaked out at each other in the middle of the road because one of them had knocked into the other one.

The fucking tip of the iceberg was that when I finally pulled into the school carpark, I couldn't find a space anywhere. I drove around for ages looking and then gave up, parking outside the smoking area, which I'm pretty sure I wasn't allowed to do so I was probably going to get detention.

After all that stress I was fucking dying for a cig, so by the time I walked into biology there was only 20 minutes left of class.

The teacher, Mr Banner I think, looked at me with surprise when I stalked into the room.

'Er hi, are you lost?' he said confused.

'Bella Swan, new here.' I said smoothly, flashing him my best smile.

He flushed at my attention and I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

'Sure um B-bella, please take a seat.' He replied looking dazed.

I grinned and started walking to my seat. Easy, didn't even ask why I was late.

I raised my eyebrows at Rosalie as I sat down next to her and Emmett and she shook her head laughing.

'You're an evil bitch.' She said rolling her eyes.

'Only when the mood strikes.' I said warmly, pulling out my notepad. I was so glad they weren't that bothered about laptops at this school, saved me a whole lot of embarrassment over the fact I didn't have one.

'What have you got next?' Emmett whispered.

I shrugged and took out my schedule.

Fucking brilliant.

English, again.

I groaned out loud.

'What is it?' Rose said raising an eyebrow.

'I've got fucking English, which I happen to have with Lauren, Jasper and Mike Newton.' I said huffing.

'That's not _that_ bad.' Rose said shaking her head laughing.

I looked at her blankly, 'Rose…Jasper and I have to do a scene from Romeo and Juliet in front of the class, and it involves KISSING, in front of fucking Lauren, who is probably going to try and stab me.'

Rosalie stared at me for a second before cackling loudly.

I looked to Emmett for help, but he was biting his pen to keep from laughing himself.

'That's fucking hilarious.' Rosalie managed to say, gripping my arm as she giggled.

I pouted and she grinned, 'Your little pout won't work on me.' I rolled my eyes and turned to Emmett.

He looked stricken. 'Oh god um sorry Bella, you poor thing?' He said patting me on the hand.

Rosalie started cackling again and I put my head in my hands.

'I'm sure it'll be fine.' She said after a while.

I lifted my head up, 'Really?' I asked.

'Nope.' She said with an evil grin.

I groaned again.

'Have you practiced the scene?' Rose asked.

I forced myself not to blush as I replayed my little encounter with Jasper from the day before. I knew he'd told Paul, and probably Emmett that he wanted me, but I doubted he'd told them he'd kissed me.

'Yep. And it was fine.' I lied easily.

Rose gave no indication of whether she believed me or not.

The bell rang then, and I turned to them with a look of distress.

Rose laughed, 'Just make it look like kissing Jasper is horrible for you.' She advised as we packed up our stuff.

Yeah. Easier said than done. Especially because I was almost certain that the minute, I felt his lips on mine I was going to jump his bones.

I paused outside the English classroom feeling stressed.

Maybe it really would be fine. We'd kiss chastely and it would be completely platonic and harmless, and no one would even notice that we wanted to fuck each other senseless.

I took a deep breath and entered the room.

Lauren was sitting at the back with Jasper, who was staring at his phone with a bored look on his face.

When he looked up and saw me, he broke out into a grin and I had to struggle really hard to not respond to it.

His eyes dropped down to my breasts and darkened as his eyes continued down to my bare legs.

My dream flashed through my mind and I shivered. How the fuck was I going to stand up there and kiss him.

I sat down next to Newton, trying to mentally prepare for the scene.

Really, I should have been mentally preparing to deal with Newton, because he was being especially annoying today.

'You look really nice today.' He said, blatantly staring at my breasts.

I sighed, 'Eyes are up here Newton.' I stated monotonously.

He flushed and looked up at me again,

'Sorry Bella.' He said looking sheepish. I almost felt sorry for him but then his eyes went back down to my chest and I huffed, leaning away from him.

I turned back to look at Jasper, but he was deep in conversation with Lauren and didn't see me. She looked distressed and I assumed it was because he'd told her he was going to kiss me in the scene.

I faced the front with a sigh, they were a couple, obviously I was going to have to see them together.

I didn't have to like it though.

'Okay everyone, so the first half of the lesson we'll be finishing our scenes from Romeo and Juliet. After that, we're going to really think about the characterisation, about the relationship between the two of them, and what it represents. You might have been wondering why we jumped from '1984' to Romeo and Juliet, but actually, there's a lot of good comparisons between them. Next lesson we'll be looking at these comparisons, so pay close attention to what you see in the following scenes.'

She looked at us with a smile.

'First up we'll have Ashley and Josh, then Angela and Jackson, finally we'll finish up with Jasper and Bella.'

I fought the urge to groan out loud. I just wanted it to be over, now I was going to have to wait another 20 minutes before we did our scene.

I completely zoned out while the other two pairs did their performance.

It's just a kiss, I told myself repeatedly.

I was really struggling to get my dream out my head, as well as what he'd said to me yesterday.

His low sexy voice echoed in my head,_ 'Can you stand there and say that you don't want me to turn you around and fuck you against this door.'_

I felt my body go warm and heat build between my legs.

Shit, no no no. I can't be turned on when we do this. Think of Newton, that'll help.

I looked sideways at him and rolled my eyes. He was still staring at my fucking boobs. I get it, they're fantastic, but jesus, where's the subtlety.

'Okay Jasper and Bella, you ready?' I jumped slightly at the mention of my name.

Okay, okay, okay. I repeated in my head trying to keep my breathing calm.

When I came face to face with Jasper, I bit my lip instinctively. God he was so fucking hot.

His cologne washed over me, all sweet and vanilla but with a little bit of spice too. My eyes met his and he looked at me intently.

'Ready?' He whispered.

I clutched the paper in my hand tightly. It was going to be my crutch.

We started the scene and I felt the tension building straight away. I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

When he leant in to kiss me for the first time, I couldn't help it, I moaned slightly as he pulled my lip between his.

When Jasper pulled back his eyes were almost black.

He dropped his eyes down and then sucked in a breath heavily. I followed his gaze and saw that my nipples were sticking prominently out of my shirt.

'Fuck.' He said under his breath, closing his eyes for a split second while I said my line.

I tried to remember we were in front of a class, that we were in front of Lauren, but I couldn't see anyone but Jasper.

'Give me my sin again.' Jasper stated, his hand coming to rest on my arm as he pulled me closer.

His touch felt like fire against my skin and my breathing hitched as he came to kiss me, his hand cupped my face as he drew me towards him, and I gasped as his breath washed over my face.

When his lips met mine again, I had to scream at myself to not react.

He pulled back instantly, the kiss was barely a peck it was so quick.

We both knew why. If he'd really kissed me there would have been no stopping either of us.

He went in to hug me to end the scene and I shivered as his hard body came into contact with mine. I could feel him hard and pressing into my stomach and I felt a rush of excitement that he felt exactly the same way I did.

'Fuck I want you.' He breathed into my ear.

I forced my expression to stay neutral, as everybody could see my face but inside, I was on fire.

The hug only lasted a few seconds, but I felt like it was lasted forever. Every second I had him against me I had to force myself to not drag his mouth to mine.

'Great job guys!' Miss Hargreaves stated, clapping as we pulled apart. The rest of the class joined in.

Thank god it was over. I glanced down and hid my smirk as Jasper strategically held his script in front of his erection.

My had to force myself to keep smiling when I saw Lauren's face. She looked livid.

I hid my reaction. There was no way she saw anything. We kept everything completely hidden and we barely even kissed each other.

She simply saw me as a threat.

I bit my lip; I was a threat.

We sat down again, and Miss Hargreaves started the discussion.

I didn't listen to a word.

I spent the whole time just day dreaming about Jasper pinning me against the wall and fucking my brains out.

I practically ran to the smoking area after class. I was just lighting a second cigarette when Jasper and Paul walked over.

I hid a smile, watching the guy I was fucking, and the guy I was desperate to fuck, walk towards me was kind of amusing.

'Hi.' I greeted them smiling.

Paul wrapped me up in a hug and ran his hands down my back.

'You look fucking hot.' He commented, eyes dropping down to my tits.

I laughed, 'I know.' I replied grinning.

He rolled his eyes.

Jasper smiled at me gently, then plucked the cigarette from my hand and put it in his mouth.

I pretended not to feel the sparks of electricity when his hand brushed mine.

'Hey.' I admonished, reaching for my cig back.

Jasper dodged out the way and laughed with it between his teeth, 'I've had a very stressful English lesson.' He said winking at me.

I laughed rolling my eyes. God he was fucking cute.

Paul looked at Jasper interestedly.

'How did Lauren react to you having to kiss Bella?'

Jasper sighed. 'Not well, but you know, we had to, it was for class.'

Paul smirked, 'How was it?'

Jasper just grinned.

I laughed and reached for my cig again and he grinned as he grabbed it from his mouth.

'Here you go.' He said, gently putting it between my lips.

I licked his fingers slightly as he brushed them against my mouth and his eyes darkened instantly.

'Better.' He said huskily as I took in a drag.

'Yep.' I stated with a grin.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his own, lighting it quickly.

Paul watched the exchange with an amused grin.

'When you break up with Lauren, I'm going to have to find a new fuck buddy aren't I.' he said with a fake pout.

I laughed. 'Aw are you gonna miss me?' I said with a smirk.

'Fuck yes.' Paul replied as his eyes dropped down to my tits again.

I rolled my eyes.

'You two have the strangest friendship.' I said with a shake of my head. 'Most guys freak out if they slept with the same girl.'

'As long as it's not at the same time, I don't really care.' Paul said shrugging. 'We're just having fun.'

I looked at Jasper and he shook his head subtly. Ah so Paul doesn't know what happened between us yesterday.

'Fair enough.' I said grinning at Paul. It's not like anything was going to happen between Jasper and I again until he broke up with Lauren. So, there was nothing to really feel bad about. Besides, we hadn't slept together, we just kissed.

'We have Social Studies now Bella.' Paul said smirking at me.

'I know.' I replied sighing.

'Wanna take a detour?' He said winking at me.

I laughed.

'Sure.' I stated, looking at Jasper.

'See you later man.' Paul said bumping fists with him.

I leant in to give Jasper a hug, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

He hugged me back tightly, his hands grazing under my denim skirt. I shivered against him in desire.

'Think of me when you come.' He whispered huskily in my ear.

I took in a shaky breath and walked off with Paul, glancing back to see him watching me with dark eyes.

'How long do we have.' I said breathlessly as Paul kissed down my neck.

We were in the abandoned building behind the smoking area.

'Less than 10 minutes.' Paul said tangling his hands in my hair to kiss me.

I moaned into his mouth.

'Fuck we don't have time to do anything.' I said, laughing as he picked me up and put me on the table where we first had sex a few days ago.

He grinned, 'Define anything.'

He kissed down my chest to the valley of my breasts, licking and sucking the exposed skin.

I moaned contently as he pulled my breast out of my top and licked over my nipple.

I tugged his head back up and kissed him fiercely, biting his bottom lip.

I palmed his cock in his jeans and he groaned bucking his hips into my hand.

'I want you.' He groaned, pushing up my denim skirt and revealing my lacy pink underwear.

I giggled as his hand tickled the inside of my thighs and then moaned as he reached my centre, his finger slipping inside of me.

I threw back my head.

'You're always so fucking wet.' He moaned kissing my neck.

I didn't tell him it was for Jasper.

I closed my eyes in pleasure and couldn't help but imagine it was Jasper in front of me, and his fingers.

I moaned loudly, the sensation suddenly feeling so much more intense.

It wasn't that Paul wasn't hot, because god, he was just as sexy as Jasper, but the chemistry I had with Jas, it was something else.

I opened my eyes and bit my lip at the expression on Paul's face as he watched his fingers go in and out of me.

'Mm your so sexy.' I stated breathlessly, reaching out to run my hand over his lips.

He captured my fingers in his mouth and I moaned at the hot and wet sensation.

'Fuck I'm close.' I said gasping as my legs started shaking.

_'Think of me when you come.'_ I heard Jasper say in my head.

Oh, I am baby, I thought. I imagined Jasper standing in front of me, his blue eyes watching me as he finger-fucked me. Imaginary Jasper was naked, and his other hand was on his cock, gripping it tightly as he moved it up and down.

'Fuck.' I swore loudly as I came, banging my head on the desk as I threw it back.

'Ow.' I said pouting, placing my hand on my head.

Paul laughed.

I stood up and ran my hand down his body to his cock.

'At lunch it's your turn.' I said, kissing his neck.

He groaned softly, 'I'll hold you to that.'

**X**

Social studies was utterly boring. Once again, I'd already done the content in the school I was previously in, so I just spent the lesson day-dreaming about a naked Jasper doing various things to me.

No matter how much Paul and I were together, the longing I felt for Jasper never abated.

He was driving me completely fucking crazy.

I needed to fuck him, if we'd just slept together, I was almost sure it would have been fine. Instead the sexual tension had been building and building. I was almost sure that at this point I would fall apart just from Jasper touching me.

Paul and I talked a little during the class, but he was concentrating pretty hard.

I studied him as he worked intently. He was so smart; I don't know why he pretended he wasn't.

I had a study period next so I headed to the library, wondering if anyone had it with me.

When I saw Jasper sitting at the back of the library, I told myself I'd sit somewhere else. Apparently, my self-control was at a total level of zero, because despite my reasoning for sitting elsewhere I found myself walking up to the table where he was sat and sitting next to him.

The table was tucked away into a corner, so only a small part of the library was visible from the table, and vice versa.

He stiffened as I sat down, without even looking up from the page.

'Hi.' I said, reaching into my bag to grab out my Spanish book. Senora Gomez had given us a shit ton of homework.

'Hi back.' He said, glancing at me for a second before back down to his book.

I laughed gently when he turned back to look at me just a second later. I felt exactly the same. I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

His eyes drifted down to my ample cleavage and I shifted in my seat. I wanted him to want me. I wanted to drive him just as crazy as he was driving me.

I crossed my arms slightly, causing my breasts to push together and Jasper let out a quiet groan, before dragging his eyes back to his work.

I smiled amused when I saw Jasper was also working on Spanish.

'Parece que ambos estamos trabajando en nuestros ensayos en español' I said to him, smirking as he turned to me in shock.

'Do you speak Spanish?' he said raising his eyebrows.

I grinned, 'My old friend's mom was a Spanish teacher, so she used to talk to us in Spanish a lot. I'm not fluent but I get by.' I stated shrugging.

'Thank god, you can help me.' He said clapping his hands together.

'Shhh.' The librarian whispered harshly as she walked past.

I made a face at Jasper and he laughed quietly.

'Will you help me?' he pleaded.

I nodded with a smile, 'Sí un placer.' I replied. He looked at me blankly,

'Yes.' I said rolling my eyes. 'Jeez Jas do you know any Spanish?'

He smirked, 'Quiero follarte.'

I rolled my eyes. 'If the most you can say is 'I want to fuck you' that's not going to get you very far in this essay.' I laughed.

Jasper just laughed. 'Okay I barely know anything. The essay is supposed to be about you, like a biography type thing right? I've got my name and age and shit, but I need to talk about what I like to do, what I want to do later, all that crap. I've started writing it but I think it's wrong.'

I leant over to him to read his work.

'This is fine. You just need to fix here, and here.' I said pointing out the paper.

I turned to look at him and was shocked to find his face extremely close to mine. He blinked slowly as he looked at me and I felt my breathing hitch as his eyes dropped down to my mouth. I moved myself back over clearing my throat.

His eyes met mine then, a shade darker than they had been earlier. We both looked down at our papers.

'How do I say, I'm on the swim team?' Jasper asked after a minute of sitting there biting his pen.

I turned to look at him.

'Hmm, you could say, estoy en el equipo de natacion or maybe nado para la escuela.' I said after a moment.

He nodded and wrote it down.

I was struggling to concentrate being so close to him. Every time he would move to the next line, his elbow would gently touch mine, sending tiny currents of electricity through my body.

My daydreams flitted through my head from earlier, and then my dream. I bit my lip. If I was a good girl, I would get up and walk away from him. I'd leave him alone until it was over with Lauren. But I couldn't make myself leave.

He looked so hot as he concentrated heavily on his essay, his pen hanging out his mouth.

'I had a dream about you last night.' I found myself saying as I scribbled out the first part of my essay.

Jasper paused next to me.

'Yeah?' He asked with a smirk. 'What was the dream about.'

I bit my lip, 'It was just about you, and me.' I replied.

'What were we doing?' Jasper said, his voice sounding husky.

I looked up at him and felt my breath catch in my throat when I saw the way he was looking at me.

'Kissing.' I stated staring into his eyes.

'Is that all?' Jasper said, leaning closer to me.

'No.' I replied biting my lip. His eyes dropped down to where my teeth played with my lip and I watched as his pink tongue ran across his bottom lip in response.

Heat curled itself in my belly.

'What else happened?' Jasper whispered. I gasped when I felt his hand touch my thigh.

'You were asking me if I think about you, when I touch myself.' I stated huskily.

He chuckled, in that deep and naughty way that made me want to sit on his face. His fingers started stroking my thigh lightly and every touch was going straight to my core.

'What did you say?' he asked intently.

I swallowed heavily. 'I said yeah.'

His hand paused on my thigh and made a small sound in the back of his throat.

'And then I woke up.' I continued, spreading my legs wider as his fingers trailed across my legs.

His eyes dropped to my breasts for a second before he looked back up at me.

'Then what did you do darlin'?' he asked huskily his hand inching higher.

I bit back a moan. His touch was driving me crazy.

'I touched myself.' I stated, chewing on my lip.

'Mm.' Jasper groaned softly, 'And did you come for me?'

I nodded, finding it impossible to speak I was so turned on.

'Oh darlin', that's so fucking hot.' Jasper moaned his hand drifting even higher up my leg.

He was so close to touching me. To feeling how wet I was for him.

'How badly do you want me to touch you?' He whispered huskily, his hand teasing my as it drifted up and down my bare inner thigh.

I made a strangled noise in my throat.

'Mm I bet you're _soaking_ for me aren't you darlin' He groaned softly, his hand drifting closer.

I whimpered. Fuck, please, I just wanted him to touch me.

With that his fingers finally brushed over my panties and I had to bite my lip hard to stop from moaning out loud.

Jasper groaned and his head hit the desk with a slight thump.

'Oh. Fuck. You're fucking dripping.' He growled quietly so only I could hear him.

Just as his finger were moving aside my underwear there was a loud bang across the room.

We both jumped and Jasper pulled his hand away in shock.

I almost shrieked in frustration.

I glared at the direction of the noise but my gaze softened when I saw that Ben, the guy who was in my English and my Spanish class, had tripped, dropping several text books to the floor. A few people had run to help him.

I bit my lip and glanced at Jasper sideways. He was looking at his essay with a stormy expression and I wondered if he was mad at me.

After all, that whole situation was completely my fault. I wanted to feel guilty, I really did, but I just couldn't, I was too selfish. I wanted him, he wanted me, I didn't get why he couldn't just end it with Lauren. Yes, she was psycho, but that wasn't his problem.

In my head, I realised I was being pretty unfair, I knew that if Jasper left Lauren and she hurt herself he would think it was his fault. It's just, as bad as it sounds, I'm not used to not getting what I want, not from guys anyway. If a guy was in a relationship I normally stayed far away, but this thing with Jasper and Lauren was complicated and I'd let myself get caught up in him. In my defence, the lust I felt for Jasper was pretty unparalleled.

'I'm sorry.' I said to Jasper after a while. I had been chewing the fuck out of my pen deliberating on whether it would be a good idea or not, but when it came down to it, I just didn't want him to be mad at me.

He turned to look at me. As he studied my face his mouth broke out into a small smile.

'Don't be sorry darlin'. If anyone needs to apologise it's me. I can't control myself around you.' He glanced down at my breasts and then to my lap where the denim skirt was barely covering my thighs.

I bit my lip, 'I'm not exactly making it easy on you. I shouldn't have told you about my dream.'

He smiled wryly, 'Maybe not, but it's so fucking hot that you think about me when you touch yourself, and that you're dreaming about me. If it's any consolation, I think about you to.'

I bit my lip, 'Oh yeah?' Images of Jasper lying in his bed with his cock in his hand assaulted me and I took in a shaky breath.

'Fuck yeah.' He stated.

'What about me?' I asked, feeling my lower stomach clench again.

Jasper chuckled darkly again, and I pressed my thighs together, did he know what that fucking laugh did to me.

'Bella, not a good idea.' He stated shaking his head.

I huffed.

Jasper groaned, 'I can't believe I have to walk around, knowing you're sitting there, all wet and waiting for me. Not being able to touch you, or to take you home and fuck you.'

My eyes widened at his words and my heart thumped in my chest.

He smirked, 'I'm sorry darlin', I'm not trying to make it worse I swear.'

'Well you are.' I admonished squirming a little in my seat.

Jasper's eyes dropped to my lap and he shook his head.

'God this is crazy, I can't even sit in the fucking library with you without wanting to bend you over. And don't get me started on that scene in English, I was about 5 seconds away from slamming you into the wall and ripping your clothes off, the class be damned.'

I nodded. I felt the same.

'I think we should stop talking to each other all together Jasper.' I said.

He frowned and I shook my head, 'Believe me, I don't want to, but if we're not talking hopefully we can control ourselves. It means we won't be alone together too.'

Jasper shrugged, 'I guess, it can't hurt anyway. What about when we're around the others?'

I thought about it for a while, 'Obviously we try to keep things as normal as possible but just keep it really basic, and avoid flirting or making naughty comments.' I stared at him pointedly.

He just laughed, 'Yeah makes sense, okay, we'll have to figure something out for Friday cos we're all going to mine for pre-game so it would be odd if we didn't interact properly.'

I nodded, 'Okay well we can be normal on Friday but just until then, keep things very nonchalant and friends-only.'

Jasper laughed, 'Okay, I'll see you later _friend_.' He stated, gathering up his stuff. I nodded with a sigh.

The rest of the day passed by in a bit of a blur.

I spent most of lunch in the abandoned girl's bathroom with Paul. We didn't fuck, just messed around and I was pleased when I made him come twice.

I had history with Jasper and Emmett as the last class of the day but Emmett sat in the middle and Jasper and I barely exchanged two words. I wasn't sure if Emmett noticed or not, he seemed kind of preoccupied himself.

By the time I got back to the flat I was in a terrible mood.

Renee and Phil were out somewhere, so I just heated up a pizza in the oven and ate it in my room before crashing out on my bed.

Jasper needed to hurry up and break up with Lauren, before I turned into the kind of person I hate.

**A/N: So the Jasper/Bella saga continues. Let me know if you got the little easter egg about who we might be meeting soon ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: New chapter! Thank you so much for your reviews! There will be limes/lemonade and lemons so NC-17 only ;)**

Chapter 7.

By Friday, I was starting to get really worried about Renee.

On Thursday morning she was alert and chipper, giving Phil a giant kiss as he left for his work trip and singing in the kitchen. By the time I got in from school she was just dark.

I came in the door and the flat was completely dark. When I'd turned on the light, she'd screamed at me and started crying hysterically. I couldn't find the booze she'd been drinking, but I knew she must have some somewhere.

I managed to calm her down and put her to bed, but once she was curled up in there she wouldn't stop crying. Every time I tried to leave she'd grab my arm and scream for me. She cried herself to sleep at 4am and I walked into my room and passed out in my clothes.

I didn't know what to do, she was normally an angry drunk, but over the past week she'd just been upset. And her behaviour in general was just extremely weird.

I felt like I'd barely closed my eyes when my alarm went off.

3 hours sleep. Fan-fucking-tastic.

When I'd showered and gotten dressed, I went in to check on her but she wouldn't get out of bed and she screamed when I tried to open the curtains.

Her behaviour wasn't normal. I didn't understand.

When I arrived at school I couldn't face talking to anyone so I just went to the smoking area on my own. Luckily for me no one I really knew was in there so I just sat on the wall, my eyes feeling heavy as shit from the lack of sleep.

I smoked two cigarettes and then dropped into the bathroom to splash my face with water.

I felt like I looked like shit. My hair was up in a messy bun and I was wearing a denim skirt with an old Linkin Park T-shirt tucked in.

The water helped my eyes from feeling so swollen and I touched up with some concealer under my eyes as well as some mascara.

I eyed my reflection warily, I looked a lot better but still felt hideous.

The bell rang and I went to first period. It was Geography, which was one of the few classes that I actually hated.

To make matters worse I was sat directly in front of Lauren and Jessica, both of whom were glaring daggers into my back, and talking about me in what were essentially stage whispers.

'She's not even pretty, I don't get why Paul is interested in her.' I heard Jessica say snarkily.

I hid a smile, looks like Paul had been there, done that, and not gone back for seconds.

'She's ugly, and slutty.' Lauren said back.

I glanced behind me and gave them a bitchy smile.

'I can hear you.'

Lauren glared at me, 'I don't give a fuck, you're trash.' She looked down at her nails.

I just laughed and ignored my desire to retort with, 'Your boyfriend didn't seem to think I was ugly when he was kissing me on Tuesday.'

I fought the urge to lay my head on the desk and sleep as the teacher, Mr Granger droned on about cloud formations.

I ran into Paul on the way to Social Studies.

He wrapped me up in a hug and I clearly clung on to him a little harder than usual because he pulled back with a concerned expression.

'You okay sugar?'

I shrugged, 'I'm absolutely fine.'

He gave me a knowing look and just slung his arm over my shoulder the rest of the way to class.

I knew I was being quiet, but I was just so tired, and not just from lack of sleep. Tired of this thing with Jasper, tired of Renee being a mess, tired of having to worry about my fucking mother when she didn't seem to even notice me.

I must have managed to fall asleep at my desk because all of a sudden a throat was clearing above me.

I sprung up and met Mr Hasting's calculated gaze.

'Ah Miss Swan, sorry to disturb you from your nap.' He said, raising one eyebrow.

I bit my lip, whoops.

'I was just asking the class what they thought about Hobbes theory. You wouldn't happen to be able to enlighten us on the subject, would you?'

I bit back the urge to say 'no' and lie my head back down on the desk.

I met his stare boldly, 'I think Hobbes was spot on.' I answered, 'People are selfish and power-hungry and they strive for pleasure and the avoidance of pain.'

Mr Hastings made a 'hmm' sound, 'So do you think that there is no place for virtue, wisdom, integrity?'

I laughed, 'There's a place sure, but it's all so fucking subjective.' I ignored the collective gasp from my classmates, 'That's his point right, that they all get put on a pedestal of 'goodness' but nobody can agree on what they are because everything comes from a place of selfishness.'

My Hasting's studied me for a moment.

'Language Miss Swan.' He admonished, 'But you raise an interesting question. Who agrees with Bella? Are we all selfish?'

Someone at the front put their hand up, she was quite pretty, with dark brown hair and glasses.

'Yes Miss Weber.' Mr Hasting's gestured to her.

'Well…I get what Bella is saying,' She turned to me and gave me a small smile which I ignored, 'But I disagree, I mean sure people can be selfish, but that doesn't mean there's no such thing as integrity and virtue, people can be good.'

Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it.

Someone else put their hand up and I tuned out, putting my head back on the desk, cocooned in my arms. I jumped slightly as I felt Paul touch my leg and squeeze gently.

I looked over at him. His brow was furrowed as he listened to whatever the guy in front was saying, and his tongue rested at the corner of his mouth in concentration. I smiled slightly.

He looked pretty cute.

He turned to look at me then. 'I can't believe you just said fuck in front of Mr Hasting's.' He whispered grinning.

I sighed, 'Probably not the smartest move.'

Paul shook his head, 'Nah, I think he liked it. You expressed your opinion he enjoys stuff like that.'

I shrugged.

'Do you have any study periods today?' I asked. I wanted to forget everything, just for a minute, and Paul was the best way to do that.

He groaned, 'No, and I have to go see Senor Gomez at lunch because I didn't hand in my essay yet.'

'Shit.' I said panicked, 'Was that due today?'

Paul laughed, 'Not that essay, I'm doing another one for her.'

I raised my eyebrow at him.

'For extra credit?' I asked curiously.

'Um,' He said, 'Not exactly.'

I narrowed my eyes.

'Are you doing AP Spanish? In secret?'

He made a face at me, 'Shh Bella.'

I huffed, 'Verdad o mentira?' I said in Spanish. Is it true or not?

Paul just grinned, 'You should talk to me more in Spanish.' He winked.

I raised my eyebrow and he sighed.

'Verdad.'

I didn't get why he wouldn't tell people.

'Por qué secreto?' I asked, confused.

'Because,' he answered, 'People expect things from you if you're intelligent.'

Hmm, 'Does your dad know?'

Paul just gave me a look that said, drop it.

I almost laughed. We were so similar.

'So no lunchtime tryst.' I said pouting.

He smirked, 'No but how about afterschool you come over?' He tickled up my leg with his hand and I shivered.

'Hmm okay.' I said breathily.

He winked and went back to his work.

I bit on my pen. Slowly, I was figuring out more and more about Paul, and the more I knew, the more similar we seemed. I didn't know what he meant by people expect things if you're smart, but I guessed it was related to university.

As I was leaving class Mr Hasting's waved me over to his desk.

'Hang on a second Bella.'

I gave Paul a look of dread but he just shrugged and went outside to wait for me.

'Sorry for falling asleep.' I said as I approached his desk. I bit my lip, 'And for saying fu- for swearing.'

He sat down on the desk in front of me.

'How's everything at home Bella?'

I blanched, 'Everything's great, why?' I said defensively.

He studied me. 'You know, part of being a teacher means being there for my students if they need help. You can always come to me.'

I shrugged, 'Sure.'

Shit. That was the last time I spoke up in his class, old man was way too perceptive.

He sighed, 'Okay then.'

As I started to walk out the door he said, 'No falling asleep in class again Miss Swan. You'll give me a complex.'

I laughed, 'Sorry Sir.'

Meh, he was kind of alright I suppose. Still, I was going to need to be more careful. I didn't want anyone finding out about Renee, especially a fucking teacher.

'What was that about?' Paul asked as I walked out the door.

'Just wanted me to apologise for saying fuck.' I lied.

'Classic.' Paul said with a grin.

'What's classic?' Rose appeared on my left.

I smiled at her.

'Bella saying fuck in her response to Mr Hasting's question in Social Studies.' Paul answered laughing.

Rose snorted, 'Of course she did.'

'Who did what?' Emmett said.

I laughed, 'Oh my god where is everyone appearing from?'

'Bella said fuck to Mr Hasting's.' Rosalie said.

'Fucking A Bells.' Emmett said with a grin, he held out his fist for a fist bump and I did it back laughing.

We sat down at the cafeteria table.

'Was he mad?' Rose asked curiously.

'Who's mad?' Jasper asked as he sat down opposite me, Embry following close behind.

Fuck. It was like overnight I'd forgotten how fucking gorgeous he was.

I felt my mouth go dry as his blue eyes locked in on mine.

'Mr Hastings.' Emmett answered.

'Why is he mad?' Jasper said frowning.

'Because Bella fell asleep, and he woke her up and was like, enlighten us about Hobbes Miss Swan, and she was all, 'it's so fucking subjective.' Paul said laughing.

Jasper let out a short laugh and raised his eyebrow at me,

'Bad girl.' He said, his voice playful but his eyes with a glint in them.

Oh, so this is how we're going to play it is it.

'What can I say, he interrupted my dream.' I said, staring at Jasper and biting my lip softly, hoping it would trigger the memory of what happened in the library.

His eyes darkened.

Gotcha.

'So was he?' Emmett said.

'A little, but he was fine when I apologised.' I lied, smiling.

'Are you excited for Saturday Bells?' Emmett asked grinning. 'One of my friend's is coming, I bet you'd like him, his names Jacob.'

I turned to Emmett, 'Jacob Black?' I asked raising my eyebrow.

'Oh, do you know him?'

I laughed, 'Yeah I know him, I used to go to Wheatley.'

Embry looked at me interestedly, 'Really? I figured you'd moved from the North West cos of your accent.'

I groaned internally. I did not want to have this fucking discussion.

'Yeah, I did originally, but been here for two years now so…' I said nonchalantly.

Inside I was panicking. I don't want to talk about it. Don't ask me about it.

'So how-'

I shot Jasper a stricken look and his eyes widened slightly.

'Didn't Jessica go out with Jacob once?' Jasper interrupted smoothly.

'Ew really?' Rose said, making a face.

I let out the breath I was holding relieved.

God I was going to give him the best blow job of his life when he was free.

'I'm going for a smoke.' I said, getting up.

'Thanks' I mouthed to Jasper as I grabbed my bag. He just winked at me.

Rose jumped up, 'I'll come.' She said, kissing Emmett on the cheek.

I smiled at her in surprise. 'Okay.'

'So, Jacob Black huh.' Rose said raising an eyebrow at me, as we walked to the smoking area.

I rolled my eyes, 'For a little while. He's hot and decent in bed, but…too keen.' I said shrugging.

Rose surprised me by taking the cigarette I offered her, 'I think you'll have fun on Saturday.' She said, lighting up. 'It's always a good laugh when a few of the schools come together.'

'I didn't know you smoked.' I said, hopping up on the wall.

She laughed, 'There's a lot you don't know about me Bella.'

I shrugged. Likewise.

'I don't much, these days.'

I looked at her confused.

'Smoke.' She clarified, 'Emmett doesn't really like it.'

'Terrible fucking habit anyway.' I said, flicking ash at the wall. 'Expensive too.'

Her lips went up at the corners.

We sat in content silence for a while. Rose was like a breath of fresh air, didn't talk unless she had something to say and if she did, she didn't fuck around, she delivered it.

'Jasper didn't smile, not really.'

I turned to her surprised. She shook her head, 'This thing with Lauren, it's been…and then you showed up, and he's smiling, and making jokes.'

I didn't know what to say.

'He's a lot more vulnerable and sensitive than he looks.' She continued, 'He feels everything so strongly, more than other people do.'

I sighed. 'Why are you telling me this Rose?'

She didn't answer, just smoked silently.

'I think you're going to hurt them both.' She said after a while.

'I don't want to.' I said, looking up at the sky.

'I know.' She said quietly.

As the day wore on my mood got worse, tiredness getting the best of me.

My head was pounding.

I snapped at Newton when he asked if I was okay during Music and then spent the rest of the period feeling fucking terrible because he looked like he was going to cry.

When I got to History Emmett's seat was empty, leaving me alone next to Jasper.

I frowned.

'Where is he?' I asked Jasper, pulling my stuff out.

He sighed, 'Not really my place to say.'

I bit my lip, I hoped Emmett was okay, he was such a nice guy, and he and Rose and seemed so happy together.

I was doodling on my book when I realised I hadn't even thanked Jasper for saving me from the Spanish Inquisition in the cafeteria.

'Thanks, for before.' I said to him.

He looked up at me, with one side of his mouth turned up in a smile, 'Anytime darlin','

I smiled back automatically. It was impossible not to. Those gorgeous blue eyes lit up whenever he smiled.

'I'll have to think of a way to make it up to you.' I flirted.

He smirked, 'Oh yeah?'

I smiled coyly, 'Mmhm.'

'What might that entail Darlin'?' he said, his blue eyes darkening.

I grinned, 'You'll have to wait and see.'

He groaned. 'You. Are. Bad.'

He looked up at me and my breath caught. God he looked so fucking delicious with his eyes all dark and lustful like that. So sexy.

I licked my lips, 'Oh baby, you have no _idea_.'

He chuckled, this low and throaty deep sound that went straight to my core.

I squeezed my legs together and I know he noticed because his eyes dropped down to my lap.

My skirt had ridden up to the top of my thighs.

'Mmm.' He said huskily, 'These skirts are driving me crazy.'

I smiled with my teeth, 'Good.'

Now break up with Lauren and fuck me.

He just shook his head and continued working.

Well, with that conversation the whole, stay away from each other thing was completely ruined. But really, the only person to blame here was Emmett, I couldn't be expected to control myself.

I barely saw Jasper the rest of the day which I'm fairly sure was purposeful on his part. I didn't blame him.

We really were incorrigible around each other.

I was fucking dreading the party tomorrow. I could barely control myself around Jasper sober, let alone with alcohol in my system. Plus, Lauren was going to be at the party, which made me want to puke. She was probably going to be all over him.

Hopefully she wouldn't come to Jasper's for pre drinks, but she was his girlfriend, so there was a strong possibility she would.

Ugh.

School finished and Rose and I made plans to hang out tomorrow before heading to the party together

'And we'll probably stay at Jasper's after, cos he has a free house and all.' She said grinning.

I rolled my eyes. Great. So I'd be in Jasper's house, where his bed is. Mm.

But wait. Maybe Lauren would be in it. Ew.

'I can come pick you up?' She said,

I hesitated.

'Or you could leave your car at mine overnight?' She said, noting my discomfort.

God, she was such a fucking angel.

'Yeah, that would be great.' I said gratefully.

I followed Paul home again.

As soon as I got in the door he pinned me against it.

'Hello.' I said grinning.

'Mmm I missed you today.' He said, kissing my neck and running his hands down my body.

I moaned, his hands felt so good. He tugged up my skirt and I giggled as his fingers tickled my inner thighs.

He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

I kissed him fiercely, biting his lip a little. He responded eagerly, pushing his tongue into my mouth.

He started sucking gently on my neck and I moaned rubbing myself against him.

My hands slid down the back of his T-shirt and pulled it up, revealing his toned stomach.

My hand trailed down his stomach towards his jeans making him squirm.

'I want you.' I gasped as he ground into me, his cock pressing against my clit.

He groaned in my ear.

'Here or bedroom.'

I kissed him again, my hand slipping lower down his body.

'Here. Right fucking here.' I said, undoing his belt.

Paul's eyes glinted, 'Hold on baby.'

After, we lay on the carpet by the front door breathing heavily.

He turned to me with a smile 'That was-'

'Awesome.' I finished grinning.

We laughed.

'Hungry?' I asked him.

He nodded patting his belly. 'Want me to make us some toasties?'

I smiled, 'What you got in the cupboards?'

30 minutes later we were sitting on his couch in our underwear eating big bowls of bacon pasta and watching FRIENDS.

'This is so fucking good.' Paul moaned.

I laughed, 'It's very simple.'

He had almost eaten half of the gigantic portion I made.

He smiled, 'Well I haven't had anything this good in ages.'

I frowned. How long were they going to just leave him here by himself? I mean yeah, he was an 18-year-old boy, he wasn't going to starve, but he wasn't ready to be on his own like this. Having to buy groceries and do his own washing and clean the house. Sure, if he was out of school maybe it would be different but he wasn't.

At least Phil cooked for me, and there were always fresh groceries in the cupboards.

'There's some left for tomorrow too.' I said gently.

He sighed and turned to me with an eyebrow raised.

'I always make too much pasta.' I said, mirroring him.

It wasn't a lie, if there are people that manage to make the right amount, I am in awe of them.

He growled and put the bowl down on the table in front of us.

I gave him mine to put there as well and then nestled back into the sofa.

'This thing is pretty comfy.' I said yawning.

He laughed, 'Yeah I fall asleep down here sometimes.'

All alone in this big house. I couldn't imagine.

I crawled into his lap, wanting to comfort him but not having any clue how other than physical affection.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me.

And we sat and watched FRIENDS.

I woke up feeling disorientated. I was nestled in a warm embrace and so comfy.

Paul and I were lying sideways on the couch, with him spooning my back, his legs tucked under mine. His arm lay over my stomach and I could feel his warm steady breathe on the back of my neck.

I yawned, arching my back and stretching.

I smiled as I made contact with something hard. Well, Paul might be asleep but part of him is definitely awake.

Paul made a noise behind me and wrapped his arm around me tighter.

I gently pulled out of his embrace and reached for my phone.

It was 10pm. No missed calls. I sighed.

Anyone else's parents would be worried, but not Renee, that would involve thinking about someone other than herself for 5 minutes.

'What time is it?' Paul asked behind me, his voice all husky from sleep.

I turned to look at him and smiled.

His hair was all over the place and his eyes were still partly closed.

He looked adorable. And sexy.

I straddled his lap.

'It's 10.'

He grabbed my hips and pressed me down on him, pushing his cock against my centre.

'Mm hello.' I giggled.

He grinned, 'This is a wake up I could get used to.'

His hand snaked up my waist and then tangled gently into my hair as he pulled my head down and kissed me.

It was a different kind of kiss than usual. Slow, and gentle.

And so fucking hot.

I moaned into his mouth as he licked my bottom lip and flicked his tongue against mine.

I ground myself down onto his cock and he gasped, his hand in my hair tightening.

I sat up to undo my bra and as I pulled it off Paul sat up, his mouth kissing across my chest slowly with hot, sensual kisses.

I stared into his brown eyes, mine half open with pleasure. He cupped my cheek, 'You're so beautiful.'

I pulled his lips back to mine.

He kissed his way down my neck and I shuddered as he rubbed my left nipple with his thumb and then cried out when his mouth descended on the right one.

I rocked my hips against him, and he bucked up into me, rubbing deliciously against my clit.

His mouth met mine again, soft and hot and sensual.

I arched my back as he kissed down my chest again, leaning my weight into his arms that rested around my lower back.

He tugged at my underwear and I stood up, my hands balancing on his shoulders as he pulled it down carefully, kissing my thighs and then leaving open mouthed kisses against my clit.

He stood up and kicked his boxers off.

'One second.' He said grinning at me.

I watched amused as he ran naked out of the room.

He came back with a condom in hand and sat back down on the couch.

I put it on him and straddled him, gasping as the silky latex brushed against my opening.

Paul was looking up at me as I sank down and I moaned as I watched his eyes roll back in his head.

I gently lifted myself up and down over him, his hands guiding my hips.

'Oh fuck.' I gasped as he angled his hips slightly, hitting that sweet spot inside of me.

His eyes met mine intently as he bucked his hips up towards me, penetrating deeply but slowly.

His thumb rubbed against my clit in decisive circles, bringing me closer to the brink with every rotation.

I came, shaking around him and he swallowed my moans with his mouth.

His hips moved more rapidly now, seeking release and his hands tightened around my waist.

He threw back his head and groaned, his eyes still on mine as they fluttered with pleasure.

I got off him and we both lay there, breathing heavily.

Well that was different.

Shit.

After the incident on the couch, we both sat there quietly.

Personally, I was freaking out.

Because… that's not the kind of sex you have with a fuck buddy, or just for fun, or with someone you don't give a shit about.

'I should go.' I said after a while.

Paul nodded, 'Yeah it's getting late.'

I got up and stretched my arms over my head.

I glanced down at Paul expecting a crude comment, but he was just looking at the table deep in thought.

I threw on my bra and underwear and then headed into the hall to put my clothes back on. I was just pulling my top over my head when he appeared in the hall, his black boxers back on.

'So, I'll see you at the party tomorrow?' I asked, wishing it didn't feel so awkward.

'Yeah.' Paul said, without his trademark grin.

Fuck, what did we do.

'Well, bye then?' I said awkwardly.

Paul walked over to me and grabbed my waist gently, pulling me into him and kissing me softly before pulling away.

'See you Bella.'

And then I was outside.

I got in my car and let my head bang on the steering wheel.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

What the fuck was that.

**X**

I pulled up to Rose's on Saturday with my stomach in knots.

I was nervous because I would be seeing Jasper, in a casual environment where we could end up alone together. I was irritated because Lauren was going to be there tonight. I was worried about it being awkward with Paul after yesterday's strange moment.

Frankly, I considered not going.

But…Renee was having another dark day and as selfish as it was, I didn't want to be around her.

Did that make me the world's worst daughter?

Anyway, Phil was coming back this afternoon, so she'd be fine.

At least, I hoped so. To be honest, I was sick of having to worry about her.

Now I just felt guilty.

I sighed and got out the car.

Emmett answered the door.

'Bella Boo!' He exclaimed spinning me around.

He whistled, 'You're gonna make the boys crazy tonight.'

I laughed.

'Where's Rose?' I said, smacking him to put me down.

'Upstairs, deciding what to wear later. It's the first door on the left.' He gestured up the stairs.

I smiled and headed up.

'Should I pay now or later.' I said with a wink when I walked in. Rose was standing in her underwear around a mountain of clothes.

She looked like a fucking supermodel. God, even I was jealous.

'Upfront always baby.' Rose purred.

I laughed.

'I don't know what to wear.' She groaned.

She looked at me. 'You look like a sex kitten.'

I was wearing a white denim skirt with a black strappy top which accentuated my chest nicely. I'd paired it with a pair of white converse. My hair was in thick waves down my back and I'd actually put proper make up on, lining my eyes in smoky khol with some bronzer and blush on my cheeks.

'Meow.' I said grinning.

Rose ended up wearing a pair of tight leather pants, which ended just below her belly button, with a red cropped top. She had a pair of heels in her bag with her.

In her own words, she had a rule that said, 'Nothing less than 6 inches.'

Emmett groaned when he saw her.

'Rosie how can you expect me to leave the house with you looking like that.' He stared at her hungrily.

She bounded into his arms and kissed him.

I watched with a raised eyebrow as he grabbed her ass.

Rose pulled back with a grin.

'Let's go.'

Let's go, actually meant, let's go pick up Jasper, and then go to the liquor store.

I bit my lip when he walked out to the car.

He was wearing a fitted grey T-shirt and an acid wash pair of jeans that clung to his muscly thighs. The key item that had my stomach clenched, was a pair of plain brown leather cowboy boots.

Fuck. Me.

Rosalie's car was a three door, so Jasper had to clamber in behind her driver's seat to get in the back with me.

He gasped when he saw my outfit and his eyes ran down my body, lingering on my bare legs and my tits.

I watched him lick his lips and fought the urge to clamber over and kiss him.

His blue eyes locked onto mine.

'Hi darlin'.' He whispered throatily.

I smirked at him, 'Hi cowboy.'

The drive to the Thriftway didn't take long, and the four of us were just chatting mindlessly.

'Who has fake ID?' Rose asked from the driver's seat as we pulled into a space.

'I didn't bring mine.' I said pouting.

Jasper shook his head. 'I need a new one.'

Rose shot Emmett a grin, 'Just us then baby.'

'Okay. What does everyone want?' Emmett said with a grin.

'Whisky is my drink of choice, but I'll drink anything.' I said at the same time as Jasper said, 'Whisky.'

Emmett laughed, 'Well that's easy then. Any brand in particular?'

Jasper grinned, 'Jameson?'

'That okay Bella?' Rose asked me.

'Yep perfect.' I replied.

They left the car. As soon as the door slammed, the air seemed to crackle with sexual tension.

We were completely alone.

For the first time since we kissed on Tuesday.

Jasper stiffened and turned towards the window. I could smell his cologne and it was sweet and spicy and tinged with vanilla. He smelt amazing. He was staring pointedly out the window; his blonde waves were slightly messy at the back and he was pouting slightly. I wanted to tangle my fingers in his hair and kiss him. His t-shirt was tight across his chest and arms, accentuating his lean muscles. He looked so good. I bit my lip, looking away. This was not a good idea, maybe I should get out the car. But how long could Rosalie and Emmett be. They'd be back any minute. I leant back in the seat and closed my eyes, biting my lip, if I could just wait it out. We'd said after what happened in the library that we wouldn't be alone together again.

When I opened my eyes, Jasper was looking at me, his blue eyes a shade darker. His hand was gripping his thigh. I felt my breathing quicken as something in my lower stomach jolted. I stared back at him, my eyes partly closed in lust, remembering how good his lips felt on mine, and how his body had felt pressed against me. Heat spread across my body, starting in my stomach and spreading outwards, into my chest and down my legs. Jasper was breathing heavily.

I wanted to throw myself onto his lap and kiss him.

'Jasper.' I managed to say, reaching my hand forward to try and move Rosalie's seat. God why did she have to drive a three-door.

'I should get out the car.' I continued, struggling with the handle to let down the seat.

'I think that's a good idea darlin'.' He said huskily, gripping his leg harder. Watching him struggle just turned me on even more. The electricity between us was so strong I felt like my whole body was humming. I wondered what he was thinking about.

Images of our hot sweaty bodies moving together assaulted me and I felt my panties get damp.

'I can't move this stupid fucking seat.' I snapped, frustratedly, yanking at the handle again. 'I'll just have to climb over.' I moved towards the middle just as Jasper moved forwards to reach out his hand to try the handle and suddenly his face was right next to mine. We stared at each other for a second and I could feel his hot breath against my lips. My eyes dropped to his full lips and I licked mine. My eyes darted back up to Jasper's and the expression in his made my breath catch. He looked like he wanted to devour me.

He smelt so fucking good.

I don't know who moved first but then our mouths crashed together, and I moaned loudly. He tasted fucking amazing.

His tongue flicked against my bottom lip and I felt my stomach jump as heat spread in my stomach. I launched myself onto his lap and he moaned into my mouth, his hand tangling in my hair.

God I'd missed the feeling of his mouth on mine. He sucked my lip into his mouth, and I shivered in pleasure. I copied him and then gently bit his lip, pulling it slightly. He groaned, gripping my hips and pulling me into him harder. Then his tongue was in my mouth and he was flicking it against mine and I felt a rush of wetness between my legs at the sensation. I ground myself onto his lap making him buck his hips up towards me. He rubbed his tongue against mine and groaned loudly, hands grabbing my ass, making me throw back my head in pleasure as he rocked his hips into me. I shifted my hips and gasped as I felt him, thick and hard and pushing against my clit. I slid my hand down his chest, feeling his hard muscles tense under my movements.

'Ungh, Bella.' He groaned. His mouth moved to my neck and then down my chest, leaving these hot wet opened mouth kisses that made my stomach flip. His hands moved to my thighs and I shivered in pleasure at the feeling of his hot hands as they slid up and teased my inner thigh. I was so wet, and there was so little material between my thong and his denim covered cock.

'Fuck.' I panted as he bit my nipple through my top. He ran his thumb down the valley of my breasts and pulled my top aside slightly, placing a hot kiss over my nipple. I mewled arching my back and pushing my breast into him. He pulled back and smirked at me. He looked down at me and groaned, licking his lips, I followed his gaze. My denim skirt was sitting round my waist, leaving my red thong completely on show, his jeans were slightly darker where I'd been sitting.

'Jesus Bella, so wet for me.' He whispered huskily, his hand running along my inner thigh. He grazed his fingers across my clit and I bucked my hips. 'Mm darlin', I can fucking smell you.' I moaned at his words, then his long fingers were pushing my thong to the side and I threw back my head as he slipped a finger inside me.

Fuck it felt so good, I wanted more.

'Oh yeah' he groaned. 'You're so fucking tight baby.' I spread my legs wider at his ministrations and he moved his thumb to rub against my clit making me cry out. 'Do you like having my fingers inside you like this Bella.' He asked in a low tone. When I moaned loudly he let out that chuckle that had been driving me crazy all week. 'Fuck, the feel of you, the taste of you, god Bella ever since I first saw you all I've thought about it fucking you. When we kissed….' He paused and licked his lips, 'I wanted to slam you into the wall and fuck you so hard you'd have been screaming my name. You're all I've been thinking about. That dress you wore on Tuesday… I spent the whole fucking day thinking about how much I want to bury my head between those legs.' I felt another rush of wetness at his words and he chuckled again, making my stomach twist in pleasure, 'Oh you like me talking like this baby? Mmm have you been this wet for me all week? Have you been thinking about how good it would feel if I fucked you,' he groaned, biting his lip as he pushed another finger into me.

'Yeah.' I panted, looking down and watching his fingers move inside of me. 'It's all I've been thinking about.' Jasper moaned.

'That's so fucking hot.' He replied, leaning forward and kissing me hotly.

'Oh fuck', I gasped, throwing my head back as he swivelled his finger inside me and hit something that made me feel like I was going to come on the spot. 'Jas-per.' I panted, he looked up at me, eyes slightly closed in lust, his pink tongue resting at the corner of his mouth.

'Fuck yeah, come on darlin'' he moaned, 'I want you to come for me.' I didn't know if it was his words or just what he was doing to me, but I threw back my head and moaned loudly as waves of pleasure hit me. I heard him murmuring something like 'So fucking sexy.' I came back down and opened my eyes looking at him and panting.

My breathing hitched as he brought his right index finger to his mouth and sucked it. He moaned slightly at the taste and my lower stomach clenched.

I crashed my lips to his and he groaned loudly, and the sound was so fucking hot.

I wanted to know what he sounded like when he came. Something in me snapped and I reached down to his jeans, undoing the zipper, he bucked his hips up to me. I slipped my hand in his boxers and he threw back his head in pleasure. I needed him. I needed him right now.

_Beep. Beep. Beeeeeep. _

The car horn jolted us back to reality and we stared at each other a second, panting heavily, he looked just as shocked as I felt. I scrambled off him hastily, pulling my skirt down.

'Fuck. That shouldn't have happened.' I said shakily. He looked just as shocked as me.

'No.' he agreed.

I looked at him and as my eyes met his, I had to stop myself from jumping back into his lap. His eyes were all heavy and dark and his lips were swollen from our kisses, his hair a little messy from where my hands had been in it.

He looked so fucking hot.

'Jasper.' I managed to say. I wanted him so fucking badly.

'I know Bella.'

I let in a shaky breath. 'Do you feel that?' I said huskily.

'Of course, I feel it.' He scoffed shaking his head, 'God Bella, the feel of you, the taste of you…I can't stop thinking about fucking you. Every time I see you, I feel like my whole body is on fucking fire.' He licked his lips, 'I've never wanted anyone so badly in my fucking life. If that horn hadn't beeped…god.'

I started to reply when the door opened, and I sat back in my seat with a sigh.

'It was so busy in there.' Rosalie groaned.

I raised my eyebrows at the amount of booze Emmett placed in the boot.

'Jesus Christ Emmett, are you providing a free bar?' I said bewildered.

He laughed, 'Oh Bella, this is just for pre drinks. Doesn't matter for later really because the part tonight is at Victoria's so she'll have loads of extra stuff anyway.'

'Who's Victoria?' I said curiously.

'A friend of Paul.' Rose said, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror.

Ah, a _friend._

'It's gonna be a good night.' Emmett said grinning.

'Let's getwasted.' I quoted smiling to myself.

The corner of Jasper's mouth turned up, 'Love Actually?'

I grinned, 'A classic.'

'Epic.' Emmett agreed with me.

'It's awful!' Rosalie whined from the front.

'What?' Emmett, Jasper and I all said simultaneously.

We argued all the way to Jasper's.

* * *

**A/N:**

**The plot thickens. Are you team Paul or team Jasper so far? **

**Next up: the party! What's it going to be like seeing Jake? Will we meet some new characters? What will happen with Bella and Jasper? What's going on with Paul?**

**Love always**

**Creaatingmadness xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Another update! An extra long chapter for you and this one should be a RIDE so hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. **

**Just a sensitivity warning, we do broach some stuff about sexual assault in this chapter, so if that might be a trigger for you, I would urge you to not read that section. It is only a small part of the chapter, but if you feel that any mention would be disruptive to your health, please don't read the chapter.**

**Love to you all. Hope you enjoy xo**

* * *

Chapter 8

Rose and I fell back on the sofa giggling, clutching our freshly made margaritas.

The whisky I'd drunk when we arrived was in my system now, warmth spreading through my limbs and making everything a little softer round the edges.

We'd gotten back from the shop about an hour ago, but no one had turned up to Jasper's yet, so it was still just us four.

Emmett and Jasper were playing some kind of fighting game but things had clearly gone badly for Jasper whilst Rose and I had been in the kitchen making the drinks.

'NO! FUCK.' Jasper swore, slapping his remote into the side of his leg.

Rose and I giggled.

'Dude!' Jasper shouted punching Emmett in the arm. 'That was completely your fucking fault. You kicked me right off the edge.'

Emmett chuckled, 'Don't be a sore loser man.'

'Rematch. Right fucking now.' Jasper said, gripping the remote intensely.

I rolled my eyes.

'Are you two going to drink the margaritas that Rose and I prepared lovingly?' I said, arching my brow when they turned to look at us.

Jasper grinned.

'Of course, darlin'. Seein' as you made them so lovingly.' He teased, grabbing his glass from the table.

'These are so good.' I groaned, already half way through mine.

Rose laughed, 'Margaritas are my specialty.'

'What game are you two playing anyway?' I asked, staring at the screen.

'Super Smash Bros.' Emmett said gleefully.

I frowned, 'Isn't that a kid's game.'

'Absolutely not.' Jasper said appalled.

Emmett stared at me incredulously, 'Bella, that is sacrilege, Super Smash Bros is not a quote on quote, kid's game, it's for men.'

Rosalie arched her brow, 'Excuse me Emmett. Are you suggesting that women can't play it?'

Emmett's eyes widened, 'Oh no, um no that's not what I meant Rosie baby, I'm just saying it's for adults, you know, like me and Jasper.'

'That's what I thought.' Rose said, sipping her drink.

Jasper made a whipping motion with his hand and Rose's eyes narrowed.

'What was the Whitlock?'

He balked, 'Um, nothing.'

'Are you suggesting Emmett is Pussy whipped?' She continued, arching her brow.

Jasper held her stare for a second before he broke into a grin, 'Yep.'

Rose smiled, 'Exactly how it should be.'

I laughed. Emmett just grinned lovingly at her.

I felt a weird tugging in my chest.

I felt jealous. But not of either of them, just of their mutual love for each other. It was something I'd never had.

I looked away and as I did my eyes met Jasper's. He was looking at me with a soft smile, as if he could tell how I was feeling.

I frowned and got up.

Jasper's perceptiveness was sometimes extremely unnerving.

I needed a cigarette.

I stepped outside onto the back porch. It was a big garden. There was a large peanut shaped pool in the centre with a small pool house to the right of it. Trees lined the back wall of the garden and there were hedges on either side. The flower beds were full of bright colours and looked like they received a lot of attention.

I wondered amused if Jasper had a gardener.

To the left of the porch, on the side of the house there was a small alcove, sheltered by a tree. Inside was a circular seat. I walked over and sat down, lighting my cigarette and breathing in the sweet nicotine. This pack was menthol clicks, and I clicked instantly, smiling as I sucked the cool menthol down my throat.

'You've found my favourite spot.' I heard.

I looked up and smiled softly at Jasper.

He sat down next to me and ran a hand through his waves.

I passed the cigarette to him and he sucked it in. His face broke out in a smile, 'Menthol?'

I shrugged, 'These ones are good because you can have normal or menthol, depending on if you click.'

Jasper made a 'huh' noise and then leant back in the seat.

I turned to look at him and blushed when I realised he'd been staring at me.

'What happened in the car…' I said biting my lip. 'That was bad.'

Jasper sighed, handing me back the cigarette.

'I don't have any regrets.' He said, looking me in the eye.

Ugh, I don't either.

'But we need to stop.' I said frustratedly, 'Don't we?'

I pressed the cigarette into the ash tray in front of me.

Jasper smirked at me. 'Darlin', we've been saying that all week. I've come to the conclusion I cannot stay away from you.'

He brushed my hair behind my ear, and I shivered at his touch.

He leant in and kissed me.

I gasped into his mouth. He tasted like menthol, cool and minty and just ugh. He groaned as I opened my mouth, sliding my tongue against his.

I've never had the chemistry I have with Jasper with anyone. The way I felt when he kissed me. I felt my stomach clench a little just thinking about what happened in the car, having his hands on me, the way he talked to me, his fingers, how hot he looked when he moaned…

I moved my body closer to his, tangling my hands in that silky blonde hair and pulling slightly. He groaned again, pulling me on top of him. Oh, he liked that.

Heat coiled itself in my stomach and I moaned into his mouth as he playfully nipped at my lips.

I opened my legs so they rested either side of his body as he continued to kiss me, his hand teasingly rubbing just under my breasts.

Jasper pulled back, eyes dark with lust.

We were both breathing heavily.

'I'm going to end it this week.' He said, stroking my waist with his thumb. 'I promise I'll try to keep my distance until then.'

I nodded, 'Okay.'

I paused, well if this was going to be the last time for a while, 'Maybe just a little more.' I said as I pressed my mouth to his again. I felt him smile against my mouth as his lips moved against mine.

Every time we kissed it was like someone was dousing my veins with fire. The way he smelt, the way his touch felt, the way his mouth felt against mine. I shifted my hips into his, trying to relieve the ache between my legs. He growled quietly.

I pulled back this time. He looked at me, his hair all messy from where my hands had been, his lips swollen and his blue eyes dark with lust. I felt my stomach flip with desire.

I reluctantly got off his lap.

'How's your Spanish essay going?' I said, trying to change the subject.

He blinked. 'What?'

I smiled, 'Your Spanish Essay?'

He laughed, 'I can't fucking think when you're near me. It's going okay…you were _very_ helpful.' He winked.

I laughed, ''Glad I could be of service. And me too.'

He grinned at me and I bit my lip.

It's true. When he was near me my whole body seemed to go into overdrive, and I couldn't focus properly. Just having him next to me was making me aroused.

I shook my head trying to shake myself out of it, 'Your house is fucking massive by the way.'

He rolled his eyes, 'Is it? Hadn't noticed.'

I shoved him and he laughed. 'I know. It's too much if you ask me.'

'Are you an only child?' I asked curiously.

Jasper face fell, 'Yes, but I wasn't always.'

Oh shit.

'Oh. I'm so sorry.' I said, not sure what to say. I was fucking useless at being helpful when something was wrong with people.

Jasper looked away, 'We should go back in.'

He got up.

Fuck. I feel like I royally fucked that up. Should I have said something more? Why didn't he say anything more? God, why am I upset that he didn't want to talk to me about it?

I followed him back into the room. He and Emmett resumed playing and Rose and I talked about Gossip Girl.

As we spoke my eyes drifted to Jasper and I couldn't help but stare at him. His tight ass in his jeans, and those cowboy boots, yum.

Rose noticed me drooling and rolled her eyes at me. I stuck my tongue out at her.

'I'm getting a drink, anyone want anything?' They all said no and I shrugged, making my way to the kitchen.

It was like something out of a movie. The kitchen had a gigantic island in the middle, and the marble was this beautiful white speckled material.

I ran my hand over it.

I would love to live somewhere like this.

I poured myself some water from the tap and sipped it.

Renee and I would never end up somewhere like this. I mean even if she wasn't a complete disaster right now.

I frowned. With her not working, we were completely reliant on Phil. What if he left her? We'd have nowhere to go. How would we even manage.

I stared at a picture on the wall of a younger Jasper with his arm around an older woman with blonde hair and blue eyes, probably his mom. On her other side was another boy, he looked a lot like Jasper, but with brown hair. They were all smiling.

So that's what Jasper meant. He had a brother. I wondered what happened to him. Poor Jasper, that must have been fucking horrible. My heart hurt for him and I looked down sadly.

I was starting to feel so confused. What had begun as just me wanting to fuck Jasper was turning into something else, and it fucking terrified me. Especially now that things with Paul were more intense too. Those first times together it had been fun, but we'd just been messing around, and I was even thinking about Jasper when we were together.

But then yesterday…it was different. I didn't think of Jasper once, I was just caught up in Paul.

I put my head in my hands. What was wrong with me?

I heard something move and looked up surprised. Paul was leaning against the fridge staring at me.

'How long have you been there?' I said laughing.

He smiled, 'Not long. You talk to yourself you know.'

I froze, what did I fucking say, 'I do?'

He nodded, 'I couldn't really make out what you were saying, because you mumble.' He winked at me, 'But you definitely talk to yourself. You know that's the first sign of madness, right?'

I smirked, 'But I know I'm mad, which means I'm not, right? Crazy people don't know they're crazy.'

He laughed. 'I guess that's true.'

I sipped my water.

I didn't really know what to say. Things felt kind of awkward.

'Got a lot on your mind?' he said, his dark eyes intense when they connected with mine.

I shrugged.

'You look amazing.' He said, eyes flicking down my body.

I smiled.

'Thanks, so do you.'

He really did. He was wearing a blue polo with dark jeans and his hair was styled at the front.

He walked towards me and held out his arms. I stepped into them. Paul smelled like apples and candyfloss with just a touch of cinnamon. A weird mix of sweet and intense all at once. I buried my face into his neck.

His hands ran down my back gently.

I pulled back and he smiled at me, his brown eyes sparkling.

I felt a little dazed.

His hand cupped my cheek and he kissed me, his lips gently moving against mine.

I sighed into his mouth.

He was being too sweet, too caring.

I stepped into him and kissed him more forcefully, biting gently on his lower lip and sucking it into my mouth.

He rewarded me with a groan, his hand on my back pressing me against him harder.

I flicked my tongue into his mouth, my arms wrapping around his shoulders as I pressed my breasts against his chest.

He pulled back with fire in his eyes.

'Later.' He said, licking his lips.

I smirked, 'Is that a promise.'

He kissed me again, 'Yes.' He said into my mouth.

I laughed.

'I think Jasper ordered Pizza.' He said excitedly, grabbing my hand.

I laughed and followed him back to the other room.

When we walked back into the room, Jasper's eyes flicked to our joined hands with a weird expression in his eyes.

I felt guilty instantly and wanted to let go.

Oh my god. What the fuck was happening. This is why you should never go for two guys who are friends. Ever.

The guilt was stupid, Jasper was in a relationship with Lauren. I could do whatever I wanted.

I tore my hand from Paul's as I hugged Embry hello and then went and sat down next to Rose on the sofa. She gave me a knowing look as I sat down, and I glared at her.

She just smiled. She didn't have to say, 'I told you so.' It was written all over her face. And I wasn't in the fucking mood.

The doorbell rung and Jasper ran out to answer it. He came back in with 5 large pizzas.

Yum.

We tucked into the pizza.

'Shall we play never have I ever?' Rose said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes, 'Haven't you guys played that before?'

She laughed, 'Not in a while, plenty of things could have happened since then.'

I shrugged, okay.

I was completely fine with lying in these games anyway. If I didn't want them to know, I wasn't going to drink.

'Never have I ever had sex.' Embry said. We all rolled our eyes and drunk. 'Just a warmup.' He said grinning.

'Never have I ever had a wet dream about a certain Spanish teacher.' Paul said slyly.

Embry grumbled and drunk. We all laughed.

'Never have I ever, been with someone of the same sex.' Emmett said, eyeing the room.

I drunk, and to my surprise, so Jasper.

'What?' I said looking at Jasper gleefully.

He groaned. Emmett was looking at him shocked.

'No way man, when?'

Jasper sighed, 'It was like a year and a half ago, I was drunk, and I was on vacation with my parents and this other family. And this guy and I were sharing a room. Things happened. That's all I'm saying.'

I laughed, 'Did you like it?'

He shook his head, 'Nope, not my cup of tea.'

We all giggled at the expression on his face.

'What about you?' Embry said, gesturing to me.

'I don't kiss and tell.' I said shrugging.

'Aw come on Bella.' Emmett said curiously.

I sighed. Well they didn't need to know details. 'I used to have a friend who was a little older, and we went out a lot. We wing manned for each other and one time it happened to be a girl I had to chat to.' I shrugged. 'One thing led to another and we messed around.'

'Did you enjoy it?' Embry asked excitedly.

I laughed. 'It was fine, but like in Jasper's case, I'm not interested in a repeat performance.'

'Never have I ever had a threesome' Rose said.

I drunk and so did Paul. We grinned at each other.

'MMF or MFF?' he said raising his eyebrows.

I laughed, 'The girl I previously mentioned had a boyfriend. He joined us.' I shrugged. 'You?'

Paul grinned, 'Two girls, last summer.'

Rose was looking at us with an amused smile.

'Never have I ever, done anal.' I said. Keeping it about sex was much safer than any other topic. I didn't mind them knowing about that.

Everyone drunk except me and Embry.

'You dirty buggers.' I said bemused.

'How come?' Paul said curiously.

I just shrugged. The truth was, for me, anal required trust, and I didn't trust anyone enough to do it with.

'Never have I ever done cocaine.' Paul said.

Rose and I drunk. I raised my eyebrows. She was full of surprises.

'Never have I ever been in love.' Jasper said.

Rose and Emmett drunk.

Paul laughed, 'Embry, you need to drink man, you are head over fucking heels with Senor Gomez.'

Embry bristled but then acquiesced.

I looked at Jasper curiously. I was kind of surprised he'd never been in love before.

We did one more round, then Emmett called us a couple of taxi's to Victoria's.

I was feeling pleasantly buzzed when I got into the car but my mood soured slightly when I ended up in the middle of Jasper and Embry with Paul in the front.

Every time Jasper's arm jostled and brushed against my stomach a wave of lust went through me and I had to physically stop myself from turning to him and pulling his mouth to mine.

It was making me feel so guilty, because Paul was in the front and I know he knew Jasper and I wanted each other, but he didn't know we'd almost fucked in a parking lot this afternoon, or about all our shared kisses.

I could tell Jasper was struggling as well. When we went around a corner his eyes met mine for a moment and they were so dark and full of lust I almost gasped out loud.

'So, Rose said Victoria's a _friend_ of yours.' I said Paul, trying to distract myself from Jasper.

Embry laughed.

'Yeah.' Paul said shrugging. 'Is that weird?' He turned to look at me.

'Why would it be?' I said laughing.

Paul just shrugged.

'If you want to hook up with her later just let me know,' I said grinning, 'I'm sure I can find something to do.'

Or someone.

Jasper stiffened next to me and Paul didn't say anything.

Oh-kay then.

God. Get me more alcohol immediately.

**X**

The party was in full swing when we arrived. I hooked my arm through Rosalie's as we walked through the mix of bodies.

Jesus, it was a big house, and it was packed!

Deep house music was wafting through some speakers, but it was at a pleasant level, so you could still hear people talking.

We walked through to the kitchen and my eyes widened. Most of the available counter space was filled with booze. Occupying the other spaces were large packets of chips, candy and chocolate.

Rosalie rummaged in a cupboard for a moment before coming out with a key. She used it to unlock a cabinet under the sink.

I raised my eyebrows at her.

'I don't take drinks from anyone and I never leave my booze out.' She said, holding out her hand.

Fair enough.

I handed her the Jameson from the bag I was carrying, along with Emmett's vodka and Tequila. She locked the cupboard and pocketed the key.

We grabbed some unopened beers and headed outside so I could smoke. I scanned my eyes through the crowd. If Paul went off with this Victoria tonight, I might need to find someone else to occupy my time. As I looked around, I sighed internally.

Nobody came close to Paul and Jasper.

There was a large pool in the centre of the garden, and a patio that led from where we were standing, all the way around the pool. There were several seating areas dotted across the garden. Wow I can see why the parties here are so epic.

Standing to the left of the pool were Paul and Jasper. I felt my heart skip around in my chest at seeing both of them. Jasper was smoking and they seemed to be having an intense discussion.

Rose and I headed towards them. They both stopped talking and smiled at me as we appeared in front of them I bit my lip. This was not a good situation.

I lit my cigarette and breathed it in, feeling relief wash through my system. Nothing did it better.

'Bella!' A voice boomed. I spun around with a smile. Jake.

Jake was gigantic, like Emmett and extremely good looking with short dark hair and gorgeous brown eyes surrounded by thick lashes. His skin was a deep russet colour and his lips were full and pouty. He grinned at me, flashing his white teeth.

'Hey Jake.' I said smiling back and bounding towards him and jumping into his arms.

He caught me and I wrapped my legs around his waist hugging him.

He put me down.

'You look amazing.' He said in my ear.

I grinned, 'I know.'

'How random that you're now at school with this Jackass.' He said, punching Emmett in the shoulder.

Emmett laughed.

'I know!' I exclaimed, 'It's funny I've never run into them before, we used to go to parties a lot.'

Jake grinned, 'Just different crowds Bells, you know what the lot at Weatherly are like, this party is classy compared to their ragers.'

I nodded laughing, 'Definitely.'

Emmett spoke with us for a little longer then spun around when someone called his name.

'Catch you in a bit.' He said grinning, before running off.

We joined the others.

'Hey guys, how's it going?' Jake said, fisting bumping the guys.

He gave Rose a big hug.

'Is this one causing trouble yet?' he grinned at me.

I laughed but when looked at the boys I sighed internally. Paul looked stoic and Jasper looked annoyed.

He noticed and laughed loudly. 'I'll take that as a yes.'

He shook his head, 'If it's any consolation fellas, Bells and I are just friends and I'm seeing someone.'

Jasper smiled, 'Happy for you man.' He said diplomatically.

Paul didn't say anything, he just shrugged.

Jasper's eyes flicked to mine and I glared at him.

He sighed.

'Jasper!'

Lauren walked up and grabbed Jasper's hand, shooting me evils before storming off with him.

He shot me a helpless look and followed her.

I rolled my eyes.

A red head walked up then and wrapped her arms around Paul's stomach.

'The plot thickens.' Jake said quietly making Rose laugh loudly. I elbowed his stomach.

'Hi you.' She said to Paul, kissing his shoulder. She was as thin as a rake, wearing a tight black dress and low heels. Her eyes were a cold blue. She had delicate features, and a small mouth which made her pretty, but her body was tight and tiny and her voice was kind of throaty which I guess made her sexy. I guess.

For some reason seeing her hands over Paul made me uneasy, but I shook it off.

'Hi Vic.' Paul said, looking at me.

I forced myself to smile at her, 'Hey, you must be Victoria, cool party.' I said nicely.

Her eyes ran down my body.

'Thanks.' She said, stepping next to Paul with her hand on his shoulder.

'You are?' It was said nicely but her eyes said a different story, 'he's mine, back off.'

'Bella.' I replied, maintaining my smile.

She nodded.

'So, how do you know this lot?' Victoria said, her hand running down Paul's chest.

I bit back a laugh. Possessive much.

'I go to school with them.' I gestured to Rose, Paul and Emmett. I pointed to Jake, 'And I used to go to school with him.'

I finished my cigarette and stamped it out on the floor.

'Huh.' She said, her blue eyes glinting. She turned to hug Paul, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and whispering in his ear.

His eyes flicked to me again.

I frowned.

'Go fuck her if you want to' I mouthed, shrugging.

He extracted himself from her hug.

'I'm going to get a drink, want one Bella?' he asked, holding out his hand.

Victoria looked at me like she wanted to murder me.

'Have you seen Rebecca Vic?' Rose said, coming to my rescue. 'She looks fucking awful.'

Paul pulled me away.

I laughed when we got far enough away.

'She's intense.' I said with a grin. 'Bet she's a real firecracker in bed.'

Paul shrugged, 'She's not as good as you.'

I rolled my eyes, 'You would say that though. I'm standing right in front of you.'

He smirked. 'True, but I'm not lying.'

He handed me another beer and I grabbed it, sipping the cool fizzy liquid.

We walked out the door and I blanched.

Standing in the corner were Jasper and Lauren kissing.

I felt my stomach drop and looked away.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

Fuck, I needed to get drunk.

I turned to Paul and he looked at me with a smile, 'Let's go find some weed.'

Now that, was a fucking plan.

'Lead the way senor.' I exclaimed grinning.

We were lying on the sofa 20 minutes later, passing a joint between us.

'How weird is it that we're on a floating ball, in space.' I said frowning.

Paul laughed, 'Pretty fucking weird.'

I sat up and turned to him, 'I mean, we're floating, but there's no air, and there's no gravity, so we could move, or we could fall, or something, or maybe we're already falling.' I felt my heart rate quicken and he grabbed my face gently.

He kissed me and I forgot what I was talking about.

I forgot how intense everything felt when you were stoned. I could taste beer on Paul's lips as well as the weed and tobacco and I gasped into his mouth as he flicked his tongue against mine. His touch was sending sparks straight to my core.

He pulled back with a smirk, 'Better?'

I nodded, slightly dazed. 'Yeah.'

He laughed, 'This stuff has quite a lot of THC in it, can make things a little panicked sometimes, just relax.'

His hand stayed on my knee, rubbing softly and making my stomach flip.

I leant back into the sofa, taking the joint between my lips and breathing in as far as possible, holding onto the breath for as long as I could before slowly blowing out.

Paul's hand drifted higher and I let out a quiet moan.

He smirked.

The sofa dipped next to me.

I knew it was Jasper. I could feel it was him from the way my body reacted, and my heart skipped a beat.

'Well, well, we'll what have you two got?'

'Treats.' Paul said with a smirk.

'Fuckin A.' Jasper said leaning back so his arm pressed against mine.

I turned to look at him and my breath caught.

He was so fucking beautiful. He lay his head back and turned to look at me.

'Hi darlin.' He said, his blue eyes staring intensely into mine.

My whole body was in overdrive having them either side of me. I could already feel myself dripping.

He smiled softly, 'Care to share?'

I gave it to him, gasping at the familiar jolt went through my body as his fingers touched mine. He looked to the ceiling as he took it in and I was hypnotised watching his mouth around the paper.

He pulled the joint away and then turned to me.

His eyes rested on mine, so deep and blue. My breath caught.

He leant in towards me and my eyes widened thinking he was going to kiss me, but he didn't.

He paused a few cm's from my lips and raised his eyebrow at me.

Oh. Shot-gun.

He opened his mouth as I opened mine and blew the smoke in a steady channel. I breathed it in, gasping a little as it burned in my throat.

I blew it out after a few seconds, smiling as the fuzziness surrounding me increased. Jasper licked his lips, his eyes dark with lust.

'I want you.' He mouthed.

Fuck.

Paul's hand was still rubbing against my leg and I turned my face up to the ceiling, moaning quietly.

Jasper passed the joint back to Paul and he winked at me, taking it in and then copying Jasper, blowing it into my mouth.

Oh god.

I moved my face closer to his and he kissed me lazily, his tongue flicking against mine and his hand moving higher up my thigh.

This time my moan was a lot louder.

I pulled back panting.

'I think you might be driving her crazy.' Jasper said to Paul,

My head turned to him and he looked at me hungrily.

His fingers brushed against my waist and I gasped.

'You're so fucking sexy.' Jasper whispered huskily into my ear.

I whimpered.

'Not just me.' Paul said as his hand crept higher, and he kissed my neck softly. I threw back my head gasping.

I looked at him and his eyes were almost black with lust.

Mmm. I turned to Jasper and he was looking at me like he wanted to devour me.

'Fuck.' I said, shifting my body as the dampness between my legs became uncomfortable.

I had never been so turned on in my fucking life. I wanted them to both touch me. To have their hands all over my body at the same time.

'Mmm I want-' I started to say just as Jake exclaimed loudly, 'There you are.'

Paul's hand stopped moving on my leg and I sat up suddenly, biting my lip.

Jasper laughed quietly behind me and I knocked my knee into his.

'Hi.' I said, trying not to look at either of them, or think about the threesome that I had just almost asked for. Fuck, would they have said yes? More importantly, did they know I wanted that? I mean they must have… I was practically moaning all over both of them. They seemed into it too though, did that mean they wanted to?

I felt my body heat up again and bit my lip.

Jasper handed Jake the joint wordlessly.

'Rose and Emmett are coming, they just…got distracted.' Jake said laughing as he threw himself on the sofa next to us and inhaled the joint. 'God this is good stuff.'

The couch that I was sat on with Paul and Jasper was one of four, that were in a circle together. In the spaces between there were a bunch of cushions that people could sit on.

Victoria walked up with a guy with a blonde ponytail and sat next to Jake. She looked down at Paul's hand on my thigh and shot me an evil glare.

I bit my cheek to stop from smiling.

'Hey, I don't believe we've met.' He said with a big grin, 'I'm James.'

'Bella.' I said returning his smile in a friendly manner. He wasn't bad looking, but not my type.

Rosalie and Emmett appeared then, with Embry as well as a few other people I didn't recognise and sat down on the other sofas.

Rose raised her eyebrow at where I was sat, and I shot her the bird. She smiled sweetly at me.

'Get lost?' I mouthed waggling my eyebrows.

'Fucked in the bathroom.' She mouthed back.

I giggled.

'Where's Lauren?' Embry asked Jasper.

'Talkin' to Jessica.' Jasper drawled, still lying back on the sofa.

I turned to look at him and he winked at me.

I looked away quickly unable to help the smile the crossed my face.

'Let's play truth or dare.' Victoria said, tossing her red hair.

I rolled my eyes, how elementary.

She noticed and fixed her stare on me, 'You in Bella?'

Absolutely fucking not. There are too many questions I refuse to answer.

'Nah.' I said, leaning back on the sofa and resting my head by Jasper's.

Her eyes narrowed and then she smiled, 'Oh you think you're too cool for it?'

I frowned, 'No.'

She cocked her head, 'Then why not? Got something to hide?'

I stiffened.

'No.' I said coldly.

'Then what's the problem?' She said, smiling sweetly.

What a bitch.

'Fine, I'll play.' I said rolling my eyes.

Paul squeezed my thigh gently and I smiled at him.

When I looked forward Victoria was staring daggers at me.

'Okay, Bella, why don't you go first?' She said smiling evilly.

Well there was no fucking chance I was answering a truth.

'Dare.' I said sighing.

She thought about it for a moment, 'Hmm, I dare you, to flash everyone in the circle.'

What was she trying to embarrass me?

Oh sweetie.

'Flash them what?' I said, pretending to look nervous.

'Your tits.' She said. 'Sans bra. And if you don't, it's a forfeit, which is an even worse dare.'

I sighed. There were a lot of people at this party, and a lot of people with phones that could take pictures, but if I covered my face, I could handle it if anything got leaked. Plus, she didn't specify time. Rookie error.

'Fine.' I said. She looked shocked.

I saw her twist her phone in her hands. Ah I see her strategy.

'One rule.' I said, as I removed my bra under my top. I handed it to Paul.

'You can't have rules.' Victoria sneered.

'No taking photos.' I said, locking eyes with Jake and motioning my head to her.

He smiled.

'Sure.' Victoria said.

Yeah, you're so lying.

I was counting on Jake to protect me.

'Okay.' I said, biting my lip and feeling a little nervous. I had fantastic breasts, but I didn't really want everyone to see them. Typical that the two boys next to me who would appreciate the view the most wouldn't get to see them.

I lifted my top up quickly over my head to several hoots and then pulled it back down. Less than 5 seconds.

I sat back on the sofa and looked to Victoria with a smile. She looked furious. I saw her phone trapped under Jake's elbow and bit back a laugh.

Good boy.

James was looking at me with a creepy smirk on his face and I shuddered. Ew.

'Worst seat in the house.' Jasper said quietly next to me and I laughed.

'Truth or Dare Jasper?' Victoria asked kindly. At least she was only a bitch to me.

'Truth.'

'Who's the hottest person here tonight?' A voice piped up on one of the sofas. I was surprised to see the girl who'd disagreed with me in class about Hobbes, Angela, sitting on the lap of Ben, the guy who'd fallen in the library.

Jasper sighed. 'Pass.'

'If you pass it's a forfeit which means a dare.' James said, raising his eyebrows.

Jasper tensed next to me.

'Bella.' He said, taking a big swig of beer.

It was awkwardly silent for a moment. I guess everyone knew he was with Lauren.

'Can't argue with that.' Jake said with a grin, breaking the tension.

Victoria's eyes narrowed calculatingly. Shit.

'That's going to come back and bite me.' He whispered next to me. I gave him a sympathetic look.

'Jake.' Emmett said grinning, 'Truth or Dare man?'

'Ooh got to be dare.' Jake said, eyebrows waggling. Emmett rubbed his hands together.

'Okay. I dare you, to get naked, and do a lap around the party.'

Jake laughed loudly, 'Can I at least hold my balls?' He said.

Emmett grinned, 'Nope, let them run free buddy.'

I watched in amusement as Jake pulled down his jeans and his cock sprung loose. He was hung like a horse.

He winked at me when he saw me looking and I rolled my eyes.

'Miss me Bells?' he said slyly.

'Not in the slightest.' I said, patting Paul's leg.

He chuckled and ran off.

A number of screams echoed round the party with one girl loudly exclaiming, 'Fuck me!'

He ran back in with a big grin and pulled his clothes back on.

'Easy.' He said, eyes twinkling as he looked at Emmett.

'Victoria.' Jake said grinning at her. 'What will it be my dear.'

She laughed, 'Truth, for now.'

'What's your favourite sex position?' James asked her, smirking.

She smirked back, 'Doggy.'

'As do all bitches.' I muttered quietly, making Paul spit out his drink with laughter.

He grinned. 'Are you jealous?' he whispered in my ear, making my heart beat faster.

'Never.' I said resolutely.

He rolled his eyes.

James was asked how many women he'd slept with. He said 50 but I was doubtful, he was so slimy and gross.

Angela was asked if she spit or swallowed and she blushed as she said swallow.

A girl called Rachel was dared to read out loud her recent text, which was unfortunately from her doctor and said positive. I dreaded to think what she was positive with.

Rose was asked to give Emmett a lap dance in front of everyone, which she did with a smile. I was going to have to get her to teach me some moves!

When it came to Emmett, Jake grinned.

'I dare you to put on Rosalie's heels and walk around the room.'

We were all in tears as he put them on, because his feet were twice the size of hers and he only really got two of his toes in.

He face-planted 4 metres in to everyone's enjoyment.

'Paul, truth or dare?' Victoria asked, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

'Dare.' He said, as I expected him to. He'd never leave himself open to questions either.

'I dare you to do a body shot of tequila off me.' She said, winking at him.

Pathetic.

Paul sighed. 'Okay.'

He licked up her neck and poured salt on it, then placed a lime between her teeth, and the tequila shot on her stomach.

He licked the salt, grabbed the shot with his teeth and then put his mouth on hers to grab the lime, but she spat it out last minute and kissed him passionately.

I ground my teeth.

I shouldn't care that he's kissing her. I don't care that he's kissing her.

Except I do.

She pulled back with a smack of her lips and Paul made his way back over to us. He gulped down some beer.

'Truth or dare Bella?' Rosalie sung.

'Dare.' I said, smiling at her, wondering what she'd make me do.

'Kiss Jasper.' Victoria piped up, before Rose could answer.

Really?

'Jasper has a girlfriend.' I said, frowning at her.

'So?' She said back with a laugh. 'That's your dare.'

'Fine.' I said shrugging.

She looked at Jasper next to me and then back to me. 'Properly, with tongue.' She added.

Fuck.

'Whatever.' I said casually.

I leant over to him and his blue eyes looked into mine, and they were slightly heavy from the weed and he looked so fucking sexy. I grabbed his face and kissed him.

The minute my lips touched his I was back in that car, feeling his hands all over my body, inside me, hearing him talk to me. He pushed his tongue into my mouth as he cupped the back of my head and I moaned into his mouth. It was hot and fiery and full of desperate need.

Nobody tasted like Jasper.

His lips moved against mine fiercely and I felt him groan into my mouth.

I pulled back, knowing that if I didn't, I wouldn't stop and that already we'd been kissing for too long.

Victoria was looking at me with a satisfied smirk. I glanced at Paul but he wasn't looking at us.

I glared at Victoria.

'I'm getting a drink.' I said, standing up. Rose got up with me and followed me to the kitchen.

'He's not upset.' She said as I tossed back my glass of whisky.

I looked at her confused,

'Paul. When you kissed Jasper, he didn't look mad, he just looked kind of confused.' She clarified.

She poured us two tequila shots and grabbed some salt and lime.

I took mine licking my lips as the sharp taste of the tequila mixed with the salt and lime.

'Yeah. Things have been kind of weird between us.' I said shrugging.

'What do you mean?'

We sat on the kitchen island.

'Well, at his house the other day we-'

'What?' Rosalie exclaimed, interrupting me. 'You went to his house?'

I frowned, 'Yeah?'

She widened her eyes. 'Shit.'

'What?'

'He doesn't ever bring girls to his house Bella.' Rose said frowning. 'Like _ever_. It's always at parties, or their houses, or at school. I haven't even been there and I'm one of his best friends'

'Why would he bring me then?'

Rose's lip twisted, 'I don't know.'

We had another two shots and then I went outside to smoke.

Jake appeared then and I smiled.

'Hey stranger.'

'Can I steal one?' He asked with a grin.

'Always.' I said passing him one.

'How are things at the new school?' He asked as I lit it for him.

'Good, not too bad.' I said shrugging.

'I still can't believe you had to move.'

I'd told Jake, as well as the other friends I had at Wheatley that my mom was moving in with her boyfriend, nobody knew that we had no choice. And nobody knew what Renee was like. In the place we were in before, I had Jake over once, and that was only because Renee was away with Phil.

'So, tell me about this girl you're seeing.' I said, changing the subject.

A soft smile appeared on his face, 'Her name is Renesmee, and she's fucking out of this world.'

I grinned. 'Ooh you've got it bad.'

He shrugged, 'Just glad I met someone that felt the same way.'

I winced. That was definitely a dig.

'I'm sorry Jake.' I said biting my lip.

He laughed. 'It's okay Bells. I'm happy with Renesmee, I really am.'

I smiled. 'I'm so happy for you. How come she's not here tonight?'

'She's away with her parents in California, she wants to go to college there.'

That would be difficult for their relationship, I made a face and he laughed. 'I'm going to apply there too, I think. We'll see.'

I smiled, 'Wow, following the girl to college, that's a big move.'

Jake smiled and I raised my eyebrows, it was such a goofy, happy smile. 'I'll follow her anywhere.'

I felt a pang, not for Jake but for myself. I would never have that.

'Do you want to talk about the dilemma you'rein right now?' He said, raising his eyebrows at me.

'What do you mean?' I said innocently.

He laughed. 'Well it looked like you were 5 seconds away from a threesome when I walked in earlier.'

I groaned. 'Was it obvious?'

He smiled, 'Probably only to me, seeing as I know what you look like when you're all worked up.'

I shoved him and he laughed.

'Jasper and Paul are really good friends, aren't you worried?'

I sighed. 'Well it was never my intention to have a thing with them both. I mean I saw Paul first, but then Jasper is just…and then I found out about Lauren, so Paul and I got together, and then things with Jasper got intense and…' I paused, 'It's fucked up.'

Jake pursed his lips to one side, 'I mean, it sounds messy yeah. What are you gonna do?'

I frowned, 'Jasper is not single right now, and Paul is, so you know.'

Jake raised his eyebrow at me, 'Bella, that kiss you just had with Jasper was definitely notyour first kiss.'

I looked away 'Well we also kissed in drama as part of the class.'

'Yeah, okay.' Jake scoffed. 'The tension between you two is ridiculous. I almost felt turned on watching you kiss it was so intense.'

I laughed, 'Really?'

He shrugged, 'The point is Bells, you can't get between friends. And despite what might have happened earlier, I think a threesome would be a terribleidea.'

I pouted. 'I know.'

Unfortunately, he was probably right.

He pulled me in for a hug and kissed me on the head, 'You'll figure it out.'

I made a non-committal noise.

'Are they still playing?' I said with a sigh.

He laughed, 'Yes.'

'Thank you by the way, for stopping Victoria taking a topless photo of me.' I said with a smile.

Jake laughed, 'No worries Bells.'

We went back to the game and I sat back in my previous seat.

Both Paul and Jasper turned to look at me as I sat down, and I bit my lip.

I was so fucked.

**X**

'You have to answer a truth.' Victoria whined when it got to my turn again. I was getting really bored of this game.

'Why?' I said irritated.

'Because, you've done 3 dares in a row and that's the rules.' She said snarkily.

I looked around, 'Really?'

A few people nodded.

Fucking seriously.

I looked to Paul,

'Really?'

He sighed, 'Unfortunately yes. But you don't have to keep playing.'

Victoria heard him, 'Actually yes she does. If she wanted to stop, she had to do it before it was her turn.'

I rolled my eyes. God it's just a fucking game what's with all the rules.

'Fine. And then I'm leaving this game.' I said frostily.

'If you had to pick one, would it be Paul or J-'

'What's your favourite sex position.' Rose cut in over Victoria before she could finish.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank Christ for that. I had no idea how I would begin to answer Victoria's question right now.

I pondered the question. 'I don't have one.' I said shrugging.

'What?' Victoria said rolling her eyes.

'It depends on the guy.' I said shrugging.

She scoffed at me and I felt a rise of anger at what she'd tried to make me answer.

'For example.' I said looking directly at her. 'With Paul it's me on top.'

She glared at me and then an evil smile washed over her face, 'What is it with Jasper?'

I was expecting her to react that way. 'I wouldn't know.' I said shrugging. 'I haven't slept with him.'

She scoffed. 'Yeah right.'

I rolled my eyes and stood up. 'I'm done.' I said.

I looked down at her. 'Just so you know, being pathetic isn't hot.'

I grabbed the key from Rose, who seemed to know I wanted it because she was holding it out in her hands.

I took it gratefully and stalked to the kitchen, pouring myself a large glass of whisky.

I gulped half of it down, feeling the burn slide down my throat.

'If you drink too much of that you won't be much fun later.'

I turned to see James standing in the kitchen with me.

I rolled my eyes.

'I'll be fine.'

'Oh yeah?' he said coyly, stepping towards me. I stepped back and immediately regretted it because I was then trapped in, with the counter behind me and James in front.

'I'm not interested.' I said, trying to push past him.

He laughed, 'Yeah right. You don't go out looking like that and flashing people your tits if you don't want to get fucked.'

I narrowed my eyes. '1. I can dress however the fuck I want. 2. That was a dare. And 3, if I do want to be fucked, it's definitely not by you.'

He leant closer, 'Aw don't play hard to get baby.' He pressed himself up against me and I felt his erection pressing into my hip.

'Get the fuck off me.' I said, pushing him away. I wasn't strong enough though and he didn't move.

I started to get scared. I tried to kick him away, but his legs were pressing against mine.

'Fucking, move.' I said, shoving him again. He grabbed my wrist in his hand and I cried out, that really hurt.

He leant it to kiss me and I leant back as far as I could. I wanted to shout out but I felt frozen, like I didn't have access to my voice. He grabbed my head with his hand and pulled me to him and I winced closing my eyes.

There was a loud crack and I opened my eyes with a gasp.

James was pressed up against the fridge door by Paul, who had him by the neck of his shirt.

'Stay, the _fuck_ away from her. Do you fucking hear me?' Paul said aggressively, his eyes glinting.

He slammed James' head into the fridge. 'Do you fucking hear me?'

'Jesus, fine.' James said, shaking himself off as Paul let go of him.

'She's a fucking whore anyway.' He continued.

'What did you fucking say?' Paul said, moving towards him again.

I stepped forward and put my hand on his stomach. James seemed like the kind of guy who'd break a bottle and shove it in someone's face, I didn't want Paul to get hurt.

'Just leave it.' I said shakily, 'He's not worth it.'

James laughed and walked out the room.

Paul's body was completely tense and he was glaring at the door.

'He is such a _cunt_. He was fucking forcing himself on you, what if I hadn't walked in.'

I wrapped my arms around him, 'But you did, so it's fine.' I soothed.

'He could have hurt you.' He said worriedly.

He hugged me tightly and pressed his face into my hair.

'Are you okay?'

I wanted to cry. But I don't cry.

'I'll be fine.' I managed to say.

He pulled back and ran his eyes down my body before they stopped on my wrist.

'Fuck.' He grabbed my wrist gently to look at it and I hissed in pain. There were already 5 finger shaped bruises forming from where James had grabbed me.

Jasper and Rose walked into the kitchen laughing. They both froze when they saw us.

'What the fuck happened?' Jasper said, looking at Paul with his eyes narrowed.

Paul looked at him incredulously, 'What you think I did this to her? I walked in and that fucking cunt James had her pinned up against the counter and was trying to kiss her.'

Jasper looked furious.

'He did fucking _what_?' Rose said angrily. 'I'm getting Emmett.' She stormed out the door.

'Are you okay darlin'?' Jasper said walking up to me and looking at the bruises.

He rubbed his thumb gently a few inches above where the bruises were.

His face went dark.

'I'm going to fucking kill him.' He said angrily.

Emmett burst into the kitchen with Rose behind him.

'Fuck.' He swore when he saw my arm. 'Are you okay Bella?'

I nodded.

'Right boys, this fucker needs to be taught a lesson.' Emmett said, rubbing his hands together. 'The boys will help.'

'I don't want anyone to get hurt.' I said worriedly.

'Too late, because he hurt _you_.' Paul said. He kissed me gently.

'Rose, stay with Bella. We'll be back.'

They walked out the door.

Rose passed me my whisky glass and I downed it instantly.

She filled it up and then sat down on the floor, patting the space next to her.

'Why didn't you shout out?' She said aggressively. 'What if Paul hadn't walked in? He could have…'

She didn't need to say it out loud.

I frowned, 'I don't know, it just happened so quickly. I really thought he'd get off me and I tried to move but I couldn't. I wanted to scream or shout but I just…couldn't.'

Rose's eyes filled with intense emotion before she dropped her gaze down to the floor.

'I get it.'

I sipped my whisky quietly.

'Bella, I'm going to tell you something, about me. I don't want you to talk, and I don't…' She sighed, 'I don't want you to say anything when I finish.'

Jesus.

'Promise me Bella.' She said, her eyes meeting mine, wild and intense.

'Okay.' I said carefully.

'Remember how I said that, I used to be a lot like you? Free, without tying myself down to anyone, and just doing what I wanted.'

I nodded.

'I met this guy…I won't tell you his name. We started hanging out together a little as friends, and that's all I ever wanted from him. I would talk to him about my dates etc. and he would do the same, and really we just became good friends.'

She paused, her voice was detached, as though she was talking about someone else.

'One night, I was coming back from a night out, and I ran into him. He offered to drive me home, and I thought, why not, he'll make sure I get home okay. And he was my friend.' Her voice went bitter, 'Or so I thought. My parents were out of town so there weren't any lights on when he got to my house. He walked me to the door, and I said bye, and went inside.' Her voice caught. 'But he followed me in. I was confused, I asked him what he was doing but he didn't answer, he just shut my door. Then he…' She let out a shaky breath, 'Then he pushed me against the door.'

Oh god. Oh no, no, no.

'I told him to stop, that I didn't want him, but he didn't care. I tried to struggle but he slapped me across the face.'

I didn't want to hear any more. I looked to the floor feeling sick.

'He ripped my dress in half, turned me around and forced himself inside. Every part of me wanted to scream, I wanted to fight, but I-' Tears started falling down her eyes, 'I was frozen. After, he left me there on the floor, bleeding, crying. I didn't know what to do, I was scared to tell anyone, scared that if I went to the police they wouldn't believe me because of the lifestyle I lived.'

Oh god, Rose.

'Maybe I led him on?' She sniffled.

'No.' I said loudly, unable to stay silent. I sighed. I bit my tongue to keep from saying more. I promised her. She'd asked me not to, and I fucking respected that, I did.

'Emmett's the only one who knows.' She said, eyes pleading with me.

Of course I won't tell anyone, I tried to say with my eyes.

She fell silent and I took a drink of whisky, feeling heavy. I'd just have to talk to her tomorrow, when we were both sober, and preferably somewhere where I could run away from her after in case she blew up at me.

I put my hand on her hand, that was resting next to her on the floor and gripped it tightly.

I'm so fucking sorry, I wanted to say.

She turned into me and cried on my shoulder. I stroked her hair.

I'm so sorry.

Emmett appeared in the kitchen,

'Don't worry Bells we got him.' He looked at Rose and I, 'Shit. Rosie baby, I didn't even think about how this would-' He stopped suddenly and looked at me worriedly, as if he'd said too much.

'Bella knows.' Rose said in a tired voice. 'Emmett, take me back to Jasper's. I just want to go home.'

He knelt down in front of her and I shifted out the way as he helped her up.

He paused at the doorway his eyes dark, 'Bella, James is gone, we were careful not to leave any obvious signs of damage, but he's hurt. He won't be back, at least not tonight anyway.'

'Thank you Emmett.' I said appreciatively.

He went to say something else but stopped himself.

They walked out the door.

I hit my head back against the cupboard behind me.

I couldn't believe someone had done that to Rose. How fucking _dare_ they. I was furious. I wanted her to tell me who it was, but I knew I couldn't press. But she could still go to the police couldn't she? I felt sick. She was so ducking strong, to have gone through something like that. I felt a shiver of fear, what if James hadn't been stopped?

I bit my lip to keep from crying. I couldn't process it right now.

I finished my glass and sat there in silence. The alcohol and weed in my bloodstream making me feel floaty as fuck.

Paul and Jasper came in then and knelt down in front of me.

'Are you okay?' Paul said. 'We all dealt some serious blows between his legs and a few in his solar plexus. He was wheezing and crying and barely able to walk when he left. We would have done more, but we didn't really want him to be in a position where he could press charges.'

Jasper frowned, 'If he comes near you again though. I can't promise I won't kill him.'

Paul grunted in agreement.

'Jasper!' I heard a nasal voice cry. I rolled my eyes. Here comes the gate keeper.

I sighed and reached out for Paul. I just wanted him to take me away and make me forget it all. He pulled me up off the floor and into his arms and hugged me tightly. I burrowed my face in his neck.

'Take me somewhere. Please.' I said, my voice thick with emotion. I felt utterly drained. The confrontation with James and the conversation with Rose were so fucking intense.

'Come on baby.' He said, kissing my hair.

We took a cab from Paul's back to Jasper's. I was glad he had a key.

The house was quiet. I guess Rose and Emmett were already in bed.

When we walked into one of the multiple guest rooms I looked around with wide eyes. There was a huge king-sized bed in the middle of the room with blue sheets.

'God Jasper seems so rich.' I said in awe.

Paul laughed. 'Yep.'

I turned to him.

'Thank you. For being there, when James-'

He cut me off, 'Christ Bella, I'm so glad I was.' He pulled me into a hug again.

'I'm so sorry that asshole touched you.'

I gripped him tightly before pressing my mouth against his.

He was hesitant at first. 'Are you sure you want to?'

'Yes.' I said between kisses. I stepped on my tiptoes and wrapped my arm around my neck, smiling into his mouth as he groaned.

He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked us to the bed.

He dropped us down and I laughed as we bounced a little.

Paul smiled at me, and then resumed kissing me.

His mouth was hot against mine and he tasted like weed and beer and something sweet.

He rocked his hips into mine and I moaned loudly.

'I want you.' I said, my head felt all fuzzy and I giggled a little as his fingers tickled my hip.

'You're drunk.' He said amused as he licked and kissed down my neck.

I moaned, 'I'm not.'

I felt him smile against my neck, 'You definitely are.'

I giggled again, 'Are you?'

He laughed as my hand ran down his stomach. 'A little.'

'Am I taking advantage of you?' I said naughtily, as I rubbed his cock through his jeans.

He groaned. 'Fuck.'

'Want me to take care of that?' I said with a grin, slipping out from under him and straddling his hips.

He leant up to kiss me, taking off my clothes so I was naked above him I moaned as his fingers brushed against my centre. 'Always so wet.' He groaned.

I pulled off his T-shirt and kissed my way down his chest and stomach, lingering near his hips. He bucked them up to me and I shivered at the lust in his eyes.

'Come here first naughty girl.' He said playfully, his hands on my thighs.

He pulled me up his body, so I was straddling his face.

I gasped as I felt his tongue flick up against my clit.

'Ungh Paul.' I said rocking my hips slightly.

He moaned into my pussy and I gasped at the vibrations.

I looked over my shoulder and groaned when I saw his hand rubbing over his cock while he licked me.

'Oh god, just like that.' I said loudly, gripping my hair as he gave a long lick up my folds.

'Mm you're gonna make me come.' I said, throwing back my head as he did it again.

'Fuck.' He moaned between my legs, his hips driving up into his hard.

I put my hand in my mouth so I would stay silent as my orgasm ripped through me.

I giggled, pulling my hips away as he licked me again teasingly. 'Hey.' I admonished, 'It's sensitive.'

My giggle turned into a loud moan as he gripped my hips and slammed me into the bed next to him, climbing on top of me.

His mouth met mine, hot and fierce. I could taste myself on his lips.

I undid his jeans and pulled them down as much as I could but I couldn't get them far.

I pouted and he laughed, stepping back and pulling his jeans down.

'I want to return the favour.' I said playfully as sat up on my knees. I licked down his neck.

'Oh yeah?' He said coyly.

'Mmhm.' I moaned running my hands down his hard body.

I kissed my way down his chest and stomach, nipping at his hips.

'Fuck, Bella.' He groaned, looking at me with dark eyes.

I scratched my nails down his thighs gently and smirked as his cock twitched.

I gently licked the head and he gasped loudly.

'Oh fuck baby.' He said, his hand threading in my hair gently.

I wrapped my mouth around him and got to work, licking and sucking, one hand playing with his balls and the other wrapped around the base.

'Oh my fucking god, your mouth.' He groaned loudly. 'Bella.'

I started moving the hand that was wrapped around his cock and watched his eyes roll back into his head.

'Oh fuuuck.' He said as I hummed with him in my throat.

He tugged gently on my hair and I let him go with a pop.

'I want to come inside you.' He said, kissing me fiercely.

I moaned into his mouth, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him on top of me.

He grabbed the condom he'd taken out of his jeans and put it on, licking his lips at me laid out in front of him.

He gripped my thighs as he knelt in front of me and slowly pushed in.

We both moaned loudly.

'_Fuck_.' I gasped, my hands coming up behind my head to grip the rails.

'That's it baby,' Paul groaned, 'Hold on, I'm going to make you fucking scream.'

I gripped the bars and moaned loudly as he started a relentless pace.

'Oh my fucking god.' I cried.

Paul grunted, lifting my hips from the bed slightly.

My eyes rolled back into my head at the change in angle.

'Oh yeaaah.' I moaned, 'Just like that.'

He rotated his hips and I let out a tiny scream.

'Fuck yes baby, I want you to scream for me.'

My tits were bouncing hard and I let go of the bars behind me to grip one in my hand.

Paul leant over my body, kissing my chest and flicking his tongue over my nipple.

I grabbed his head and pulled his mouth to mine.

He flicked his tongue into my mouth at the same time his hips drove into me and I cried out.

His thumb came between us rubbing my clit and I gripped his forearm tightly.

'Oh my god I'm so close.' I gasped.

'Come for me baby.' Paul said, his brown eyes locking onto mine.

I threw back my head as I came, spasming around his cock.

He came second later, grunting in my ear.

'Holy shit.' I said as he rolled off me.

We lay there breathing heavily.

I turned to look at him and frowned, my head was starting to spin a little now.

I went to get up.

'You should drink some water.' I said, my hand going to my head. I was definitely going to have some.

Paul groaned, 'Yeah, good shout.'

I started to leave.

'Bella.' He said questioningly.

I turned to him. 'Where are you going?' He said confused.

'Um, to a different room?' I said, echoing his confusion.

'Why?'

I frowned, 'Well do you normally sleep with the girls you've had sex with? Because I don't normally sleep with the guys.'

Paul sighed, 'No, but…I want you to stay.'

I bit my lip. I wanted to stay too, but I shouldn't.

He got up and I smirked as his cock bounced.

He cupped my face and kissed me, 'Stay.'

I felt my resolve crumble.

'Okay.' I said.

We both downed 3 glasses of water from the bathroom tap before climbing into bed naked.

I lay there on my side of the bed confused.

What happens now? Do we fucking cuddle? I mean yes, when we fell asleep on the sofa we cuddled, and I didn't mind cuddling watching TV but this was different. This was like a thing.

'Stop freaking out.' Paul mumbled.

'What?' I said, leaning on my forearms.

He looked at me with his eyebrows raised. Even in the dark I could make out his features.

'You. You're freaking out about sleeping with me. It's not a big deal.'

I sighed. That was a lie and we both knew it.

'Come here.' He said, reaching out to me.

I moved back into his arms and sighed contently when I felt his warm stomach against my back.

'See.' He said into my ear.

I nestled back into his body and he tucked his knees under mine, wrapping his arm over my stomach and pulling me closer. He kissed my neck.

'Night.' He said softly.

'Night.' I echoed.

And then I fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N: OKAY my lovely readers. Please leave me reviews telling me what you think! I appreciate them, even the negative ones ;) **

**Just to address some questions as well: **

**1: Tanya was 18 when she started having the relationship with Charlie**

**2: Edward is coming, don't worry ;) You may have already seen my hint, but you'll see him soon I promise, maybe even before Bella? :O **

**3: Yes, Bella is a very sexual being - but remember that she started out very young, and she's never had a relationship so sex is just sex to her and really she uses it as a coping mechanism. And to clarify, everybody is having safe sex, and there will be no sexual diseases featuring in this fic. **

**Also - please let me know if you want me to write a oneshot of that couch scene - with a bit of a different ending ;) **

**Thank you so much to you guys who are following and favouriting this story. **

**Love you all,**

**creaatingmadness xxx**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Sorry for the late update guys, this chapter was a struggle to write for a few reasons, but it's finally done. Guess who finally makes a cameo :O **

Chapter 9

The pain in my head woke me up.

I groaned, shifting my body away from the hot body behind me. My mouth felt dry and heavy.

His arms were still wrapped around my stomach and our legs were tangled together.

'Fuck.' I said, grabbing my head.

A male groan echoed mine. I turned my head to look at Paul with a grimace.

'I feel like death.' He said, his voice thick with sleep.

I laughed and we both winced at the sound.

He buried his face in my neck, wrapping his arms around me tighter. 'God I really want pancakes.'

I made a face. I definitely couldn't eat right now.

'Can we go and make pancakes, please?' Paul said in a pathetic voice.

I giggled despite my headache.

'Bella, stop that it hurts.' He said grumpily.

'God how drunk were we?' I said bemused.

I vaguely remembered playing truth or dare, then getting back and having sex.

I frowned, what else happened?

'Shit.' I said, remembering what happened with James. I held up my wrist and blanched.

The finger shaped marks were a deep black, almost blue colour.

'Jesus Christ.' Paul said as he saw my arm. 'That cunt. I'm so fucking sorry Bella.'

I just blinked.

Oh fuck and the conversation with Rose…I needed to talk to her.

I sat up slightly and moaned as my head spun.

'Fuck.' I said, running a hand through my hair, it was a tangled mess.

Paul grinned, running his hand up my bare stomach and brushing against my breasts.

'I like waking up naked next to you.' He said impishly. 'Though, I'd prefer it if I didn't feel like I was going to throw up. That way I could wake you up properly.'

'Ditto.' I said, yawning and stretching my arms over my head.

I looked down to see Paul staring at me intensely.

'Are you okay?' I said, furrowing my brow.

He nodded. 'Yep. Peachy. Except for the hangover, but I know exactly what we need to do to fix it.'

I rolled my eyes, 'Does it involve me making pancakes for you?'

Paul sat up on the side of the bed for a moment, groaned, and then got to his feet, running his hands through his hair.

He turned to look at me.

He looked delicious, his eyes all bleary from sleep, lashes heavy, lips all swollen. I ran my eyes down his body licking my lips.

His cock stood proudly at attention.

He noticed my gaze and quirked his eyebrow at me.

'Stop drooling Swan, it's time for breakfast.' He winked.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed the water next to me.

'And let's get one thing straight, I'm making youpancakes.' He said with a grin.

With that he threw his jeans from the night before, without his underwear I might add, and walked out the door.

I laughed to myself.

I stepped out onto the landing in Paul's T-shirt and my thong, which barely covered my ass. Hopefully I could borrow some boxers or something.

Luckily Jasper was walking out of his room at the same time with a T-shirt in his hand. He was in some blue and red pyjama pants and no shirt.

I stared at him for a second, my brain incapable of working.

I frowned when I noticed a big scar, running from the top left of his chest, down to his right hip. Fuck, how did he do that?

Then I realised I was staring and he was probably wondering what the fuck was wrong with me.

'Hi Jas.' I said, my voice still husky from sleep.

His smiled, 'Hi darlin', how you feeling?'

'Like shit.' I said, walking towards him. 'Hangover from death. But apparently Paul is making us pancakes?'

'Is he?' Jasper said incredulously.

I raised my eyebrows, 'Um yeah, that's what he said anyway. Can I borrow some pyjama pants or boxers please.'

Jasper looked down at my bare legs and gulped, 'Uh, yeah sure. Hang on a sec.' He said, going into his room.

I looked in, curious to see what it looked like.

There was a big bed in the centre of the left wall with black sheets. A window spanned the back wall, with big white curtains. Either side of the bed, there were bookcases, filled to the brim with books. A huge TV sat on a large chest of drawers on the right, with a small couch in front of it. On the right side of the tv there was a desk, and laying on the chair a guitar.

No way, Jasper plays guitar?

He was currently standing to the left of the TV in a big wardrobe.

'So, Lauren didn't come over after the party?' I said as I walked in.

Jasper snorted, 'No. She doesn't really come here these days, I go there after school to help her and her dad, and we eat dinner and stuff together.'

'Oh.'

'Yep. And before you ask, cos I know you're going to,' He turned to look at me with a wry smile, 'No, I'm not sleeping with her at the moment, to be honest, we haven't had sex in about 4 months.'

My jaw dropped. 'You're fucking kidding.' 4 months, Jesus. Jasper must be desperate. No wonder he was struggling around me.

Jasper shrugged, 'It's hard to get in the mood when you don't have any feelings or attraction towards the person.'

I winced.

Jasper sighed, tossing me a pair of grey sweatpants. 'I know it's shitty that I'm still with her, but I've had this conversation, I've told her how I feel, she doesn't care. She won't let me go.'

I nodded, sitting down on the bed so I could put on the pants. What a shit situation.

Jasper's eyes watched my thigh's as I put them on.

When I stood up his eyes were a shade darker. I was tempted to walk over to him and hug him, but I knew it would be a bad idea, and probably lead to something else. No more. Not until it was over with Lauren.

'Let's go see if Paul's burnt down your kitchen.' I said amused.

Jasper blinked at me for a second, then shook his head, 'Oh yeah, shit, I fucking hope not.'

I smiled, it was nice he got as disorientated by me, as I did by him.

We walked into the kitchen. Paul was mixing pancake batter in a giant bowl. Next to him there were little bowls of chocolate chips, chopped strawberries and whipped cream

'Jesus.' I said, raising my eyebrows. 'This is so domestic.' I winked at Paul and he whipped a cloth at me.

I shrieked and darted out the way laughing.

'Jasper leant me some pants.' I said, putting one leg on the stool to show them off. They were way too big for me and I looked ridiculous.

'Hot.' Paul said with a smirk. 'I mean I preferred the no pants look, but it'll do.'

I sat down at the kitchen counter with Jasper.

Paul deposited orange juice in front of us.

'What the fuck is going on?' Jasper said confused.

Paul just grinned, 'I'm in a good mood. Now shut the fuck up and drink your juice.'

I laughed. 'Why are you in such a good mood? You were fucking dying like 10 minutes ago.'

He shrugged, 'I just am. I had a really good sleep.' He winked at me and I rolled my eyes.

Jasper was looking at him curiously. 'Where did you sleep?' He said to Paul, drinking his juice.

Paul paused, his eyes locking with mine. 'Blue room.' He said, turning back around and putting the pancakes on the griddle.

'And you?' Jasper asked me, raising his eyebrow.

'Same.' I mumbled.

'Oh.' Jasper said, frowning.

I felt awkward. I mean, it was just sleeping. Well no, that's a lie, it was fucking and then sleeping.

And…cuddling. But-

'Who wants chocolate chips?' Paul said, breaking the silence.

'Me.' Jasper and I said immediately. We looked at each other and smiled. And then the awkwardness was gone.

'Oh my god that smells amazing.' Rose said as she walked into the kitchen, wearing a giant T-shirt of Emmett's and a pair of fluffy socks.

It really did. Paul was cooking bacon for the pancakes.

'Are you cooking Lahote?' She said confused.

Paul whirled around, 'Yes, I'm fucking cooking. Now sit the fuck down.'

'Jesus, what's up your ass.' Rose said icily as she sat next to us on the counter.

I laughed.

Rose's eyes met mine and searched them. She obviously didn't find what she was worried about because she smiled.

'Good morning.' I said, hugging her. She lay her head on my shoulder.

'You okay?' I said quietly.

She nodded, then pulled back.

'How's your arm?' She said, concerned.

I frowned and showed her.

'That fucking asshole.' She said angrily.

'That looks sore darlin',' Jasper said worriedly.

I looked at him and he reached his hand out, grabbing my wrist softly to look at it.

'I'll be fine.' I said, disliking the attention.

'Whoever is making pancakes right now, I want to make sweet love to you.' Emmett boomed as he walked into the kitchen.

Paul turned around with an amused smirk.

'Oh Emmett baby, I thought you'd never ask.' He said winking.

Emmett gaped at him, 'Are you fucking cooking.'

I burst into laughter as Paul growled. 'Oh my god. You are all so fucking ungrateful. I don't know why I bother.'

I rolled my eyes, 'You're such a dramatic housewife.' I said smirking.

'Watch it you.' Paul said, pretending to narrow his eyes at me.

'Why?' I flirted, 'Whatcha gonna do?'

'This.' He said, flinging pancake mix at me.

I gasped as some of it hit me in the face.

I stared at Paul shocked for a moment, and then we all burst into laughter.

Embry walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.

'What's so funny?' He said blearily.

He looked at me and frowned, 'Bella, you have something on your face.'

That just set us off all over again.

'Is Paul cooking?' Embry said shocked. We all burst into laughter again as Paul threw down the spatula and lunged for Embry, who ran around the kitchen counter.

'Jeez man, I'm just saying, it's fucking unusual.' He said, dodging as Paul flicked a T-towel at his hip.

My stomach was killing me, and I had tears in my eyes.

'Well you ungrateful bastards, here you go, come and get some.' Paul said, shaking his head as he put the last pancake from the pan onto the big platter next to him. He grabbed a plate with 4 chocolate chip pancakes, some chopped strawberries and some whipped cream and put it in front of me.

'I told you I'd make you pancakes.' He said cheekily, leaning down to kiss me on the cheek.

I smiled widely. He walked back over where he'd been cooking.

Jasper got up and walked over to Paul, who handed him a plate with a smile.

'Cute.' Rose said quietly. I elbowed her.

'These are so fucking good.' I said, as I tried some.

They were all buttery and light and chocolatey.

'Dude how did you learn to make these?' Jasper said as he tucked into some chocolate pancakes and bacon.

Paul shrugged and I gave him a knowing glance. Because he had to Jasper, I thought sighing.

I laughed as Jasper doused his pancakes with maple syrup.

'My god Jas, do you want some pancakes to go with that syrup?' I joked.

He smiled, 'Nope. This ratio is perfect.' He jammed some syrupy chocolate pancake in his mouth and moaned.

I bit my lip and looked away.

'Fuckin A man, these are good.' Emmett said to Paul.

My eyes widened when I saw his plate. It was piled high with 8 pancakes, stacked on top of each other and at least 8 rashers of bacon.

'Are you going to eat all that?' I said curiously.

He laughed loudly. 'Oh please, Bella, this is just my first plate.'

Rose smiled widely at her boyfriend as I giggled.

Paul sat down at the table with his own pancakes.

'You've been holding out on us you dick. How come you've never made pancakes for us before?' Embry said, shoving Paul in the side.

Paul shoved him back playfully, 'You don't deserve my pancakes you fuck.'

His eyes met mine and he smiled, I stuck my tongue out at him.

'What's everyone doing later?' Rose asked yawning.

'I have to go to Lauren's tonight.' Jasper said glumly.

'You poor bugger.' Embry said affectionately.

'I have to go to the garage and pick up my uniform.' I said as I had my last bite of pancake.

So fucking good.

'Oh no way you got the job?' Paul said with a smile. 'You didn't say anything!'

I shrugged. 'Yeah I'm going to be a part time trainee, so basically every day after school plus either Saturday or Sunday for 5 hours.'

'That's awesome.' Rose said, grinning at me. The others said congratulations as well and I smiled.

'Thanks guys. It should be fun, I'm working with this guy called Garett, he seems so nice, and then also this other trainee, but he's full time. I haven't met him yet though.'

'Emmett and I are leaving after we shower Bella, we'll take you back to mine so you can get your car.' Rose said.

I smiled, that would give a chance to talk to her.

'Thanks Rose.'

'How is it already Sunday.' Emmett whined. 'The weekend goes by so fucking quickly.'

'I don't mind, swim season starts again next week.' Jasper said with a smile.

I turned to look at him. Hmm. Jasper in tiny swim shorts dripping with water.

'-bella?'

Jasper was looking at me with an amused smile.

I bit my lip, turning back around. 'Um what was that Emmett?'

He rolled his eyes, 'I said, do you think swimming or football is a better sport.'

Jasper laughed quietly next to me.

'Um.' I said, looking at Paul for help.

He fought a smile as he ate his pancakes.

I glared at him.

'Well they're very different sports.' I said diplomatically. 'Swimming is all about the individual, right? And football is a team sport. So my answer is, swimming is a better individual sport, and football is a better team sport.' I grinned at Emmett.

He chuckled, 'That, dear Bella, was a total fucking copout, but whatever, I'll take it.'

'I think football is better.' Rose said smiling up at Emmett.

'How much did Emmett pay you to say that.' Jasper joked.

'Either that or Emmett's dick must be massive.' I said with a smirk.

Emmett waggled his eyebrows and we all laughed.

Rose grinned, patting his leg, 'You know my motto Bella.'

I burst into laughter again and she swiftly followed.

'What motto?' Emmett said confused. That just made Rose and I laugh harder and we clutched each other giggling.

After we'd finished eating, I grabbed my overnight bag and took it upstairs, so I could shower and change my clothes. I decided to just shower in the 'blue room' because my clothes from the night before were in there anyway. Paul came up with me.

'Thank you for the pancakes.' I said, hugging him. 'I feel a lot better.'

'You're welcome.' He said into my neck.

'I'm gonna have a shower.' I said, stepping back and opening the bathroom door.

'Want some company?' Paul said winking.

I pretended to deliberate, 'Hmm, l don't know, I mean, it can be hard washing my back sometimes.'

'Oh yeah?' He said, grabbing me from behind, 'I can definitely help with that, I'm an expert back washer.'

'Oh you are?' I said playfully, moaning as he started kissing my neck.

His hands grabbed the bottom of the T-Shirt I was wearing and pulled it over my head.

'Mmmm.' I said, as his hands ran up my stomach and palmed my breasts. I turned my head backwards and pulled his mouth to mine. He groaned into my mouth and his palm slid down my stomach into the sweatpants I was wearing.

I gasped into his mouth as his fingers brushed my clit.

I pulled back laughing gently, 'Let's get under the water.'

I shimmied out of my sweatpants and stepped into the shower. It was huge, taking up one side of the bathroom. To my delight there was a bench-like structure at the back.

'Hmm, how useful.' I said, winking at Paul as I turned on the stream of water.

I turned to face the shower head, moaning as the hot water ran down my scalp.

I felt Paul's naked body press against me from behind.

His hands slipped over my wet stomach as he wrapped them around my torso.

I turned to face him, kissing him, the water running down our faces and getting into our mouths a little.

I ran my hand down his body, smiling as he groaned. I pushed him back to the seat and straddled his lap.

'Oh shit, we need a condom.' I said irritated.

He grinned and held up the small silver packet.

I laughed, 'Jesus do you have like a secret pocket on your naked body for those?'

He smirked, 'Just always prepared baby.'

After we'd finished, I washed my hair and Paul, true to his word, washed my back for me, spending a significant amount of time on my front too, 'just to make sure it was clean.' In his words.

When we got out the shower, I quickly dressed in a yellow sundress that came to about mid-thigh.

'So, my car is at Rose's, so I'm going to go back with her.' I said to Paul while I put all my stuff back in bag.

I really wanted to talk to her anyway.

'I think I'm gonna hang here with Jas and Embry today anyway.' Paul said, getting dressed in a pair of blue joggers and a grey T-shirt.

'Ooh have you got a boys day planned?' I said grinning.

Paul smirked, 'Oh yeah, we'll paint each others nails, braid each other's hair, maybe a pillowfight.' He held up his hands, 'Maybe.'

I laughed, 'I'd like to see that.'

'I bet.' He chuckled.

We walked downstairs and he kissed me, then slapped my ass gently and went into the lounge, where Embry was sitting.

'Ready to get schooled bitch?' I heard him say.

I laughed as I walked into the kitchen.

'You ready to go Bells?' Emmett asked. Rose was in a pair of denim shorts and a short sleeved red shirt.

'Yep. Let me just go say bye to Jasper.' I said, dropping my bag down.

I thought he'd have been downstairs with the others, but he wasn't.

I climbed up the stairs and knocked on his door.

He opened the door and I blinked, speechless.

He was standing there with a towel wrapped around his waist. His tanned and toned body was still wet, he'd obviously just gotten out the shower. I swallowed heavily as my stomach flipped.

I watched a droplet run down his chest and under his towel with bated breath.

Fuck. Me.

I felt my whole body heat up and I'm pretty sure I was hyperventilating.

God, I wanted to see under that towel.

'Hi?' He said, raising his eyebrows at me.

'I-H-Hey.' I said, biting my lip, my eyes heavy with lust.

I looked up at him. His cheeks were slightly pink from the shower and his hair was in damp curls around his face. I licked my lips.

He saw the look in my eyes and his darkened in response.

'Fuck Bella…You can't look at me like that.' He groaned.

His blue eyes were staring into mine intensely and his mouth was slightly parted.

Oh god.

I gulped. I couldn't speak. My eyes drifted back down his body, eyes lingering on the ridged lines of his stomach, my lower stomach clenched when I saw the bulge in his towel.

He was hard for me. He wanted me.

'Fuck.' I muttered, licking my lips.

I looked back up at his face and nearly moaned, he was looking at me like he wanted to bend me over.

God, I wanted him so badly.

We were both breathing heavily.

'Fuck it.' He said his eyes wild, he grabbed me and pulled me into him, his mouth meeting mine hot and needy.

I moaned loudly into his mouth as we tumbled through his door. He pulled it shut behind him and pressed me against it, sliding his thigh between my legs.

Holy fuck.

My hands were in his hair, running down his body, gripping his back. His body felt hot under my hands. We were touching each other frantically. Every movement of his hands on my body felt like fire.

I gasped, arching my back into him as his hand slid down my body and gripped my ass, squeezing it.

I opened my mouth, and his tongue flicked inside, rubbing against mine. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, throwing my head back as his towel covered erection pressed into my centre.

There was something I was forgetting. But I couldn't think with his lips on my neck like that.

And then I remembered.

As if we had the thought at the same time we both suddenly pulled back.

'Shit.' I said, still breathing heavily.

'Shit.' Jasper echoed, leaning his forehead against mine.

I started giggling.

'Jasper we're like animals.'

He laughed. 'I know.'

He kissed me again, more gently this time but it still awoke something wild inside me.

'Fuck, I can't wait to be with you.' He said between kisses.

I moaned into his mouth, 'Jas-per.'

'Mm, I love it when you moan my name.' He said huskily, pressing his thigh between my legs. I writhed against his leg.

I groaned. 'Fuck, Jas we're supposed to be stopping, you can't say shit like that.'

He chuckled lowly and I slapped his chest, 'Or do that…you know what that laugh does to me.'

He grinned; his blue eyes full of mischief. 'Fine, fine.'

He pulled back and walked over the bed.

'Close your eyes vixen. So, I can put some clothes on.' He teased.

I smirked, 'What if I want to enjoy the view.'

He raised his eyebrows. 'Can you handle the view?'

I bit my lip. Probably not.

I turned to face the door and he chuckled behind me.

I was sorely tempted to turn around when I heard the rustling of him getting dressed but I resisted. I was determined to keep things PG until he ended it with Lauren.

'You look pretty by the way, I forgot to say, what with you jumping me in my towel and all.' He said directly behind me.

I jumped slightly and he laughed.

I spun around. 'Safe to look?'

'Never.' He said cheekily, stealing another kiss.

'So, I never asked, what are you doing up here?' Jasper said, smiling against my mouth.

I pulled back. 'I was just saying bye. I'm going to Rose's now, to pick up my car.' I grinned, 'And according to Paul, you're in for some hair braiding and potential pillow fights?'

Jasper laughed. 'He's revealing all our secrets, I'm appalled.'

I grinned back at him.

'I'm not going to kiss you again until it's over with Lauren.' I said seriously.

'Hmm, we'll see.' Jasper said, playing with a strand of my hair with a goofy smile.

I swatted his hand away playfully, 'I mean it.'

He sighed, 'I know. Can I text you?'

I nodded and gave him my number.

I left his room, making sure that my hair didn't look like I'd just emerged from a heavy make out session.

When I walked into the kitchen Rose gave me a sly smile.

'Did you get lost?'

I glared at her, 'Nope.'

'Hmm.' She said smirking.

'Yeah, in Jasper's mouth.' Emmett said with chuckle.

I whirled on him with a glare.

He put his hands up, laughing harder.

I flipped him the bird.

'You're both assholes.' I said pouting.

'You are in such a pickle.' Rose said with a sigh.

I shoved her, and we headed out the door.

**X**

'So you're having sex with Paul, but you also want to fuck Jasper?' Emmett said frowning as Rose drove us to her house.

'Ugh.' I said, 'Rose must you tell Emmett everything that you discern from my life.'

'Yes.' Rose said matter of factly. 'Besides, anyone with eyes can see it because you and Jasper eye fuck each other every 5 minutes.'

I glared at her. 'It's not a big deal.'

'So, you're going to stop sleeping with Paul when Jasper breaks up with Lauren?' Rose said, staring at me in the mirror with her eyebrows raised.

I mean, that was the original plan yes.

I groaned, 'Yes. I mean, probably.' She rolled her eyes.

'You see Emmett, she wants them both.'

Emmett laughed.

'I know that I can't sleep with them both at the same time.' I said resignedly.

'You really can't Bells.' Emmett said shaking his head, 'They've been friends since they were 5.'

I sighed, 'I know, I know. I am going to stop with Paul when Jasper ends it. Paul knows, Jasper knows, we all know.'

Rosalie let out a short laugh, 'Oh Bella.'

'What?' I said indignantly. I turned to Emmett and he shrugged.

'Rose.' I whined.

'You'll figure it out.' She said cryptically.

'Really fucking helpful, thank you.' I said bitchily.

Rose smiled.

When we got to her house, I came in with them.

Rosalie's mum greeted us at the door. She was a tall and stunning blonde woman, with blue eyes and extremely long legs. Wow, I see where Rose gets it from.

'Mum, this is Bella.' Rose said, gesturing to me.

I waved and smiled. Parents tend to hate me so the little I say the better.

'Nice to meet you Mrs. Hale.' I said politely.

'Call me Evelyn, Mrs Hale sounds old.' She said breezily.

We walked through and stood in the entrance hall.

'Have fun at the party?' Evelyn said to Rose.

Rose shrugged, 'It was a party.'

Evelyn pointed to a framed picture of a magazine featuring a young blonde woman in a bikini.

'That was me, cover of Vogue in 1990.' She said to me with a wistful smile.

Rose made a noise under her breath.

'Cool.' I said slowly, unsure of what the correct response was.

'I've told Rose she's wasting her time in school, she could easily go to New York and model.' She continued.

Rose groaned, 'Mom, stop.'

'It's true Rosalie.' She said, patting her hair, 'I mean if I can do it you can, your almost as gorgeous as I was when I was your age.' She laughed.

I winced. Jesus. Rose's mum was fucking psycho.

Rose's face was murderous.

'Are those new wildflowers out front Evelyn?' Emmett intercepted, moving in front of Rose.

'Oh yes! Thank you for noticing Emmett.' Evelyn said with a big smile. She latched on to Emmett's arm, 'Let me show you.'

Rosalie dragged me upstairs.

'I don't want to hear a fucking word.' She said glaring at me as we walked into her bedroom.

I laughed.

We sat on her bed and then lay down, staring at the ceiling.

'So,' I said, turning on my side to look at her and leaning my head on my arm. 'I know you said, not to say anything about what you said yesterday…'

Rose sat up glaring at me, 'Just listen!' I said, rolling my eyes. She lay back with a frown.

'I'm so sorry that it happened to you.' I said, sighing. 'Rose, it was _not_ your fault, so don't you fucking dare think that. Whatever your lifestyle was, he had no excuse.'

She was staring ahead blankly. 'I don't want you to pity me.'

'Pity you?' I said confused, 'Who said anything about pity, you're so fucking strong it's unbelievable. If that had happened to me…I don't know how I'd even- fuck.'

She turned to look at me, her blue eyes misty, 'I didn't, at first. I was a complete mess, I didn't know how to even breathe...But then I met Emmett.'

She smiled softly. I smiled back, 'I'm glad you have each other.'

We lay there in silence for a while.

'Can you tell me who it was so I can kill them with my bare hands?' I said seriously.

Rose shook her head, 'No. I don't- I don't want to talk about who it is, nobody knows that except me.'

I sat up suddenly, 'Fuck Rose, you don't have to see him still do you? Like he's not part of your life is he?'

She shook her head, 'No, I haven't seen him since…since it happened.'

Thank fuck for that.

'Would you ever tell the police?' I asked quietly.

'No.' She said frowning. 'It was too long ago, I have no evidence, and my lifestyle back then probably doesn't help my case…I'd ruin my life and he probably wouldn't even get charged. I just can't Bella.'

'Okay.' I said, knowing not to push.

I sighed, 'I should probably go, I need to go pick up this uniform.'

We sat up. Rose turned to look at me, 'You know Bella, you can talk to me.'

I frowned, 'About what?'

She rolled her eyes, 'About anything. You can trust me.'

But I can't. I don't trust anyone.

'Rose-

'I'm just saying.' She said, 'You don't ever have to talk, but if you want to, I'll be here.'

How do I even reply to that? It's not you, I just don't trust people? Everyone I've ever trusted has fucking abandoned me?

How can I say that when she has trusted me with something so huge.

'Thank you.' I managed to say after a while.

Rose just nodded.

I drove home, lost in my own head.

Renee was asleep in front of the TV when I got in. I didn't see any alcohol and she looked like she was okay, but I didn't wake her up just in case. I'd get her up for some dinner later on. At least Phil would be back tomorrow.

I spent the rest of the day sorting out homework and picking my clothes up from the garage. Garett wasn't in, which meant I missed seeing my trainee partner again, but I did have a nice chat with Jared.

Jasper and I text back and forth a little, but it stayed PG.

Renee and I ordered pizza for dinner, and she actually seemed kind of normal for the encounter, we watched some TV and she seemed to be actively watching, not just staring into space.

When I got into bed, I lay there for a while thinking. I was worried that when Paul and I stopped sleeping together we'd lose the closeness we shared. And Jasper, I was worried that he wouldn't understand that I can't date anyone. He said it himself, he wants to date me. But I don't do dating.

Ugh. Why do they have to be friends? It would have been so much easier if they weren't.

I fell asleep over the covers, completely exhausted.

**X**

School on Monday was uneventful and boring. I barely saw Jasper, except for in English. We smiled at each other and talked as part of the wider group discussion during break and lunch but didn't really get any time on our own. I think we were both grateful for it, because it meant we kept our hands off each other.

Paul and I had most of the day together, so I was distracted from Jasper anyway.

I practically pounced on Paul when I saw him waiting for me in the smoking area for me before school.

We slept together during study period.

Rose and I texted through the day, and I sat between her and Emmett during biology. I felt really close to her after what happened on the weekend. It was nice because I hadn't been close with a girl since Tanya but for the same reason it left me feeling terrified. I didn't know if I'd ever be able to open up to Rose about anything or trust her completely.

The main thing that got me through the day was my excitement to start working in the garage afterschool.

I went home first to change and then drove there for 5pm.

When I arrived, I parked my car and hopped out, tying my hair up into a messy bun. I was in a dark pair of leggings and the Cullen's Garage T-Shirt which matched the logo on the sign outside.

I practically skipped into the garage in excitement and joined Garrett, who was bent over the hood of a gorgeous M3.

'Hey Bella,' He greeted me smiling, 'You excited to start?'

I shot him a giant grin and he laughed, 'Good! Can you hand me that new carburettor on the counter there doll.'

I turned to the counter and rolled my eyes, there were four different carburettors' lying there.

'Shit.' I muttered, reaching for one on the middle. Just as I went to grab it a deep and silky voice interrupted me.

'Needs to be the one on the left.'

I paused. Jesus that voice sounded like pure sex. I turned to look at who spoke and felt my stomach clench when I saw him.

He was the sexiest man I'd ever seen.

His hair was bronze and in such a crazy disarray on his head it looked like he'd been freshly fucked. Dark eyebrows slanted over vibrant green eyes, framed with thick black lashes.

I felt a jolt as I made eye contact with him and shivered as those green eyes smouldered into mine.

Something about him seemed so familiar, but I couldn't quite place it.

God, everything about him was beautiful.

His high, angular cheek bones were dusted with a light pink colour, maybe from the heat or maybe he just looked that perfect all the time.

I felt my breathing quicken just from looking at him.

My eyes continued down his face, taking longer to stare at his full and slightly pink lips. I felt mine part in response.

A slight shadow lay across his jaw, making it look even more chiselled.

I ran my eyes down his body eagerly. He was wearing a plain black T-shirt which was tight enough to show off that he was extremely well built. His dark jeans showed off his equally muscly legs and I shivered when I saw the motorcycle helmet in his left hand. I had a weakness for motorcycles. His arms were corded with muscle at his sides.

I bit my lip as I felt a wave of heat rush through me. He looked like pure sex, and I wanted him. I wanted to grip that sexy fucking hair tightly and go for a ride.

I flashed him my flirtiest grin as I watched his eyes flick down my body and thanked myself for grabbing the garage T-Shirt in an extra small, so my tits strained against the tight material. His eyes darkened slightly as he took in my body.

Gotcha, I thought with a grin.

'Hey Mason.' Garett replied. 'This is Bella, the new trainee, she just started.'

His green eyes locked onto mine then and I bit my lip again, he was so fucking hot.

I smirked at his expression, he definitely wanted me.

Well, fuck my little rule about not sleeping with anyone here. I was taking bronze for a ride.

I held out my hand, looking at him from under my eyelashes and pouting my lips slightly, 'I'm Bella Swan.'

He shot me an annoyed look and I frowned confused. He reached forward to grab my hand and I gasped as my whole body jolted with electricity. I stared up at him with my mouth slightly open.

'Yeah, nice to meet you.' He stated gruffly, tearing his hand away from mine. He shot me another look of annoyance and walked off.

Jeez. How had I managed to piss him off so quickly? I stared at his retreating form, god he looked delicious in those jeans.

'What's his problem?' I asked Garrett, pouting. He looked at the expression on my face and laughed.

'Mason tends to keep to himself Bells.'

I huffed and we continued working on the car.

There were only a few possible explanations for his behaviour. One, he didn't find me attractive. That didn't make sense though, because he had checked me out and he _definitely_ liked what he saw.

So, scenario two, he has a girlfriend. That would be unfortunate because despite what my recent actions with Jasper might indicate, I never touched taken guys. I mean, what happened with Jasper was different, he wasn't really taken.

'So, Garett.' I said conspiratorially.

Garett grinned, 'Yes, Bella?'

'Does Mason have a girlfriend?'

Garett shook his head and laughed, 'No. I'm pretty sure he doesn't. But Bella, I mean it, it's not a good idea. Mason has his own stuff to deal with. It's not my place to say what.'

I pouted. Well what was Mason's issue then. He was single, he wanted me. I wanted him, where's the problem? Maybe he just doesn't want to sleep with someone he works with.

I bit my lip. He was so fucking hot though.

'Right, that's sorted. We need to get underneath now to sort out the axles.' Garett said dusting his hands.

I grinned. I was kind of excited to get under the car.

'Yay, can I do it?' I asked Garett pleadingly.

He laughed at my expression, 'Okay Doll, but we'll go slowly, and I'll explain things properly first.'

I nodded enthusiastically.

After Garett had explained what I needed to do, I lay down on the pully and pushed myself under the car.

'Why don't we just jack the car up higher using that?' I asked, referring to the machine above us that lifted the cars up so we could work on them.

The car was already hovering a little over the ground, but I still couldn't fully extend my arms.

'It's almost impossible to get the angles right when you do it standing, or from a seated position, plus your arms would be killing you, having to stay overhead like that for ages.' Garett said.

'Makes sense.' I replied.

I got to work on the first part of the repair and realised I needed a different tool.

'Can you please pass me the spanner.' I said, turning to the left where he'd been standing.

I almost hit my head on the bottom of the car in shock when instead of Garett's boots I was staring at Mason, his green eyes staring boldly into my brown ones. He was lying on his stomach with a bunch of tools in front of him.

'Fuck you scared the crap out of me.' I exclaimed.

He smirked at me and I looked at him dazed for a second before I realised I was in the middle of trying to repair a car, and that Garett was probably unlikely to give me another chance if I fucked it up.

'It's easier for me to be down here and give you the tools that it is for Garett to pass them down to you.' Mason stated matter-of-factly. 'Besides he needed to go to the office for a second, so I have to watch you.'

I bristled, 'I'm not going to fuck it up.'

Mason frowned, 'No, I don't mean-'

'Spanner.' I stated, holding my hand out to him.

His green eyes glinted at me as his face turned up in a slight smile. God why was everything about him so sexy.

'Yes ma'am.' He said, passing it to me. I tried not to react as a jolt went through my body as he touched my hand.

I looked at him, wondering if he felt it too but his face stayed blank.

His voice sounded kind of familiar, but I couldn't place where I'd heard it before, maybe it was the accent.

I handed the spanner back, 'Wrench?' I asked, holding out my hand.

Mason rummaged in the toolkit next to him and held out the wrench to me.

'Thank you.' I said as I took it from him.

He just nodded.

I finished adjusting the piece and then groaned, I had no clue what to do next.

'What is it?' Mason asked looking at me curiously.

'I can't remember what's next.' I said frustratedly.

He crawled forward slightly and then flipped onto his back in a move that was so athletic I let out a sound of genuine surprise.

God that was so sexy….I shifted slightly, feeling moisture pool between my legs.

He gave me an amused smirk and I looked away pointedly.

He inched forward a little more using his legs and surveyed my work.

God he smells amazing. What _is_ that? Is that his aftershave? Wow.

Great, now I'm getting turned on by his scent. I am actually going insane.

I watched his tongue dart out to wet his lips and suddenly felt far too warm.

'You did a good job.' He said, glancing at me.

His face was so close to mine I could feel his warm breath against my face and I bit my lip as a rush of desire ran through my body.

'Thanks.' I said huskily.

His emerald eyes darkened and he dropped his gaze to my lips before back up to my eyes. I swallowed heavily.

He blinked slowly, 'Next step is to adjust here,' he motioned with his hand, 'then move on to the next section.'

I dropped my head back on the board in irritation. Of course that's what I was supposed to do.

'Okay, got it.' I said, annoyed with myself.

He studied me for a moment, 'It's only your first day. Give yourself a break.'

I turned to him surprised, I didn't expect he'd be able to read me so easily.

'Yeah.' I shrugged.

He nodded, then a weird expression crossed his face and he scooted back out from under the car.

'Where are you going?' I asked, confused as he got up from the floor.

'Garett can take over.' He said stiffly, then walked off.

What. The. Fuck.

I thought we were getting along fine, what's with the sudden mood swings.

I finished adjusting the middle piece in a bit of a grump, irritated that he was annoyed at me, and even more irritated that I cared.

Garett appeared and watched as I finished the last pieces.

I rolled out and sighed in relief, my arms were started to ache a little from the effort.

Garett helped pull me up and I was rubbing my black, oil stained hands on my leggings when Mason stalked towards us, his bronze hair looking even more crazy than before.

'Mason, can you just double check it's all good down there.' Garett asked kindly.

'Sure.' He stated, dropping to the floor and rolling onto his back on the board.

My breathing hitched as his t-shirt rode up, revealing a taut stomach and a prominent 'V' between his hips. A little smattering of hair started at his belly button and snaked its way down to his jeans.

I wanted to lick my way down his stomach and see where that happy trail led.

I bet he had a nice-

'-Bella.'

I blinked confused. Garett was looking at me expectantly.

Whoops.

'What was that?' I asked Garett sheepishly.

He shook his head at me with a wry smile, 'Mason said you did a great job, good effort.'

Oh.

'Thank you.' I said blushing. I was unable to help the wide grin that stretched its way across my face.

Mason hopped up from the floor and turned to look at me.

When he saw my expression, his mouth opened in a breath-taking smile and I felt my heart skip a beat.

He was so beautiful. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Abruptly, the smile fell from his face and he nodded at me, before walking off.

I huffed. There it was again. Fucking mood swings.

It was strange, there was something so familiar about his smile.

I frowned, I definitely hadn't met him before, had I?

I was polishing the car when he appeared again.

He grabbed a cloth and started working on the other side of the car. I looked up at him but his eyes were trained downwards.

I sighed. This was clearly not going to be a fun working environment.

We met at the back of the car, ending up standing next to each other.

As soon as he was close, I felt electricity hum through my body. I frowned, glancing at him in my peripheral view. Did he feel it too? He was frowning as well, but not looking at me.

'Wax on wax off.' I joked, moving the cloth in a circular motion.

The left corner of his lips turned up slightly and I smiled.

We stopped polishing and he held out his hand for me to give him the cloth.

Well, that was nicer. Maybe he wasn't a dick after all.

As I went to give him the cloth a stormy expression crossed over his face and he grabbed my arm. His touch was surprisingly gentle, but it sent sparks through my body and I jumped at the sensation.

'What the fuck is this?' He said angrily, gently turning my arm and revealing the bruises James had left on my wrist.

I'd covered it up with makeup this morning but obviously the sweat had melted it off.

'Nothing.' I said, yanking my arm away.

Mason glared at me, 'Did your boyfriend do that to you?'

I scoffed, 'I don't have a boyfriend.'

He looked furious, 'Then who the fuck did this to you?'

I glared back, getting irritated, 'It was some stupid jerk at a party, why do you fucking care?'

His jaw twitched. 'I don't.'

'Then don't fucking ask.' I said, stalking over to the other side of the car.

He stared at me for a second, his emerald eyes awash with emotion.

'Whatever.' He snapped, walking off.

I glared at his retreating form.

Was there really any need to be such an asshole.

Even though I was pissed at his outburst, my body was feeling the exact opposite towards him. My panties were definitely damp, and my stomach was coiled tight with desire. I had to admit, he looked fucking sexy when he was angry.

I licked my lips as he stalked from Carlisle's office and walked up to a big red Ducati.

It was a sexy bike. Sleek and minimalist.

I made a small noise as I watched him straddle it, those muscled thighs wrapped around that seat… fuck.

He drove off and I sighed.

I finished up the car and then walked up to Garrett.

'See you tomorrow.' I said with a smile, 'I had an amazing first shift, thank you.'

I did, except for fucking Bronze's mood swings.

'You're welcome Bells, you did a good job.' He smiled back.

* * *

**A/N Okay, chapter 9, done and dusted! Sorry it's a little short, Chapter 10 is going to be a long one I promise! **

**What did you think of Mason? **

**If you're enjoying the story please send me a review, it means the world to me :) Thank you again to those who are already reviewing!**

**Also, just a note to say I'm going to start updating weekly, on a Saturday night, around 9PM BST, so set your reminders for then :)**

**Lots of love, **

**Creaatingmadness**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The week was completely dragging.

Between schoolwork, and working at the garage, I felt like I barely had time to relax. Phil was home all week, so at least I didn't have to worry about Renee. She had a dark day on Tuesday, but Phil coaxed her out of bed and she was sitting on the sofa with a cup of coffee when I left for school. I was really fucking grateful we were living with him.

Neither of them payed much attention to me. Nobody asked where I was all the time, or how school was, or what I was doing out in the evenings. I didn't care. There was food on the table in the evening and I had a roof over my head. I couldn't really complain.

Besides, I liked the freedom.

Jasper and I were pretty good on Monday and Tuesday, only speaking to each with the group and managing to keep the flirting and glances to a minimum.

It kind of went to shit on Wednesday after English.

It wasn't planned. I was wearing a black, low cut T shirt and a pair of blue shorts that barely covered my ass. We'd run into each other in the smoking area during break.

The minute we were standing by each other the sexual tension started building.

'Fuck, you're trying to kill me.' He'd said when he saw me.

'Whatever do you mean.' I teased back.

When we hugged, and I felt his hard body against mine I felt desire rush through my body. His spicy, vanilla scent overcame my senses and I felt almost delirious.

I had to force myself to pull away instead of thread my hands in his hair and pull his mouth to mine.

His blue eyes were a shade darker when he pulled back, his hands lingering on my waist and his eyes drifting down my body.

We chatted a little and things seemed fine, but then on the walk to English I tripped. Jasper managed to catch me. But then I was pressed against him…

His mouth was centimetres from mine and his hands were wrapped around my body and he smelt so fucking good.

We pulled away from each other, breathing heavily.

In English, we got paired up _again_. Because Mrs. Maxwell wanted us to look at a scene from 1984.

'Just read through these today in your partnerships, I want you to compare this scene to the one you performed the other day.'

Lauren was glaring at me like I had killed her puppy when I walked to the back and she had to go sit up front and join Angela and this other girl's group.

I wasn't pleased about having to sit there either.

Jasper and I were bent over the sheet together, his warm leg against mine. I was overwhelmed by him. His smell, the way he was nibbling on his pen, the little noises he made when he was thinking. The tension between us got worse and worse and I had to press my thighs together to alleviate the ache between my legs.

I couldn't stop thinking about the car. Every time I was near Jasper, my brain replayed it. His hands all over my body, his mouth on my nipples, his fingers inside me. The way he talked to me…

I felt my breathing pick up. That naughty southern drawl in my ear, I shifted in my seat.

_'Have you been thinking about how good it would feel if I fucked you?'_

God. Images of Jasper and I naked in a bed accosted my brain. Oh fuck, his head between my legs, my mouth on him, how it's going to feel when he finally slides inside. I felt myself panting.

I turned to look at Jasper and he was staring at me with parted lips, his blue eyes almost black.

'You're driving me fucking crazy.' He murmured. 'Writhing in your seat like that darlin'.'

I took in a shaky breath, my eyes fixed on his lips.

His hands became fists on the table.

Lauren stayed behind class to talk to Mrs. Maxwell, so Jasper I walked out the room together.

I'm not sure who pulled who into the closet. I just know all I could think about was fucking him.

And then I was pressed up against the door in that dimly lit room and his mouth was on mine and the ache between my legs was unbearable.

Our kisses were frenzied and almost violent. I was completely absorbed in him, his taste, his hands on my body.

He slid his thigh between my legs, and I gasped, tangling my fingers in his golden waves.

'Do you have any idea what you do to me darlin'.' He groaned, kissing down my neck.

My body felt like it was burning where he was touching me.

'Jasper, fuck, I want you.' I gasped.

He groaned into my neck, 'I want you too.'

He ran his hand down my body, pressing his thigh harder between my legs. I moved my hips slightly and it sent a jolt of pleasure through me as his thigh rubbed against my clit. I threw back my head panting his name.

'I want to turn you around right now, bend you over, and fuck you.' He whispered huskily into my ear.

My breath caught and my stomach flipped at his words. Me too.

'Ungh Jasper.' I moaned. I pulled his mouth to mine, wrapping my arms around his neck. He picked me up and pressed me against the wall roughly, pushing his hard cock against my aching centre and grinding his hips into mine.

We both groaned. His hands slid up my thighs and I almost cried in relief that he was going to touch me where I was aching for him to. He started kissing my neck and I whimpered.

Fuck. This was bad. I said I wasn't going to do this.

'Shit, we have to stop.' I panted, reluctantly.

His hands paused on my legs and his head dropped to my shoulder.

'Fuck! I know.' He said grumpily.

He pulled back and let go of my legs. I stood up, placing a hand on the door behind me.

I stared at him. His lips were swollen from our kisses and his hair looked like he'd just been fucked. In other words, he looked fucking edible. And I wanted him so badly.

'Mm.' He said as he looked at me, his tongue running across his bottom lip.

I leant back against the door, breathing heavily.

We managed to keep our hands off each other and leave the closet, but it was difficult. The tension between us was just getting stronger, I didn't know if I had the willpower to resist any more.

Jasper said that he was going to talk to Lauren on Friday evening, meaning he would be broken up by Saturday, if he managed to actually do it.

I felt weird about it. I was glad obviously that we would finally be able to satisfy the sexual tension that was driving us both crazy, but at the same time, it meant ending things with Paul, which I didn't want to do, because the sex was starting to get amazing.

Why did they have to be friends ugh.

Other than the blip with Jasper on Wednesday, things went fine in school. I hadn't really seen Paul because he was really busy with AP Spanish. Apparently, he just had to submit the last bits of coursework and he'd be finished for the year. Early as well. I was impressed.

It gave me more time with Rose though, which was nice. We arranged to go shopping on Saturday together, which would be interesting because I barely scraped money for petrol.

At work, Mason was completely avoiding me. On Tuesday, he'd left just as I arrived. On Wednesday, when I walked over to Garett, he just said something about catching up on paperwork and walked off to the office.

When it got to Thursday's shift I was getting annoyed.

I stalked over to where he was standing by Garett in our bay. They were standing in front of a black Audi A4 with the hood up, deep in conversation about something.

Mason looked as fucking gorgeous as usual, his bronze hair in a freshly fucked state on his head, and his vibrant green eyes looking intently at the car in front of him. He was wearing the Cullen's shirt and a pair of acid wash jeans. They were sitting deliciously low on his hips and I bit my lip. His body had a sheen of sweat to it, making it glisten.

'Hi boys.' I said with a smile as I rocked up.

'Hey Bells.' Garett answered smiling at me, 'You look nice.'

I was wearing tiny little denim shorts, paired with a plain white T-Shirt. My hair was hanging in waves down my back and I was blue sandals with a teeny wedge at the back. Basically, I looked hot as fuck. I'll take nice from Garett though, after all he was happily married to his wife Kate and had been for 25 years.

I shrugged with a smile, 'Aw Gar, you'll make me blush.'

Garett just laughed.

'Susan.' Garett called, walking over to her bay, 'Kate was asking if you wanted to come with Brian for dinner on Saturday.'

I turned to look at Mason, who was staring intently at the car, and not me.

'Hi.' I stated.

He just nodded, still not looking at me.

I huffed.

'What's wrong with the Audi?' I asked.

'If I knew that, then I'd have started fixing it.' Mason said, raising an eyebrow at me.

I huffed again and walked forward to have a look.

I bent over to check, 'The piston looks strange to me, the rod looks bent.'

Mason came behind me to look.

'Huh.' He stated. 'So it does. Shame that has zero impact on what's actually not working with the car.'

He raised his eyebrow sarcastically and I scoffed.

'Well what are your bright ideas then?'

He rolled his eyes. 'Bella, do you listen at all? If I had a clue what was the matter, I'd be checking it out.'

Great. So, we'd moved on from avoiding me to just being a dick. Charming.

'Fine. What isn't working?' I said, my hands on my hips.

Mason's eyes met mine for a moment, intense and green. I felt my breathing hitch.

'She won't start. Battery isn't dead, everything is firing fine, we're missing something, I just don't know what.'

Hmm. I started doing a checklist of what it could be.

I bent over the car again and heard a weird noise behind me.

I looked over my shoulder, but Mason was staring pointedly at the other side of the garage.

I was irritated that he hadn't checked me out. Maybe I was wrong, maybe he doesn't find me attractive.

That's irritating. I'm everybody's type.

I turned around.

'I'm going to go get changed.' I said dejectedly.

'Whatever.' Mason said, still not looking at me.

I went to walk past him but just as I was about to pass him he moved to the left, obviously trying to get out my way, but forcing me to knock into him. He caught me before I toppled us both over and then quickly released me, but it wasn't quick enough. For a split second I was pressed up against his hard body. And I could feel _all_ of him.

I stared at him with a smirk. So, he _does_ find me attractive.

He glared at me.

'Sorry.' I said, still smirking.

'You're so fucking clumsy.' He snapped, his vibrant green eyes smouldering into mine.

'Uh-huh.' I said, shrugging, 'At least you were there to catch me.'

He rolled his eyes. 'Just be more careful.'

'That might be hard.' I said, raising my eyebrow at him.

He made an indignant sound and I smirked as I walked to the bathrooms by Carlisle's office to change.

Mason ignored me when I appeared next to him again, now in my leggings and the Cullen's T-shirt.

Because we couldn't figure out what was wrong with the Audi, Garrett had us changing the tyres on a range rover. Normally, it would have only taken 20 minutes, but he insisted that we do it the slow way, so we could mull over what might be wrong with the car.

'So, you know what's wrong with it?' I said to Garrett frowning.

Garrett laughed, 'Of course I do Bells, I wouldn't be much use to Carlisle otherwise, but you two need to work it out together. The owner doesn't need it back till next week because she's on holiday, so you have four days to figure it out. If you don't by then, then…' He frowned, 'Well, just have it figured out by then. This is a good learning experience for you two, I'm counting on you both.'

I bit back a groan. I really didn't want to disappoint him, but I knew there was no way Mason would be game to actually work with me.

'Should we do one each?' I said to Mason, kneeling in front of the Range Rover.

He shook his head. 'We should do them together, one by one, it'll get done faster.'

He grabbed the jack and fit it under the front right tyre. I watched his muscles ripple in his arm as he used it to lift the tyre off the ground with a dreamy expression on my face.

He went to unscrew the cap and I frowned, 'Which part am I going to do?'

'It'll be quicker if I just do it on my own.' He said, his green eyes glancing at me briefly.

'Fuck off.' I said irritated, 'You will not be quicker, and we're doing this together, so get off your high horse.'

He smirked, clearly amused by my response. 'Fine, unscrew the cap.'

'No.' I said haughtily, 'You unscrew the cap, I'll screw in the tyre.'

His jaw twitched, 'Bella, just unscrew the fucking cap. I'm going to screw in the tyre.'

'Why?' I said angrily, 'Why do you get to do that bit?'

He huffed, 'Because it takes strength to screw the tyre in manually, and you don't have any strength.'

I gasped, 'That is so fucking sexist. Women can be strong.'

He laughed, 'I know women can be strong, Susan is probably stronger than me.' He gestured to the red head next to us, currently lifting an engine out of a vehicle.

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow, 'You though, you are not strong.'

I growled, 'I'm stronger than I look.'

'Fine.' He snapped, 'Try it, and watch yourself fail. I don't know why you can't just sit on your sexy ass and let me do it.'

I started to retort angrily and then smirked, 'You think my ass is sexy.'

He glared at me, 'No, it's an expression.'

I pursed my lips, 'I don't think it _is_ an expression but hey, I don't blame you, I do have a sexy ass.'

'You're so arrogant.' Mason sneered.

I raised my eyebrows, 'Are you going to lecture me on arrogance? Mr. I can't walk past a reflective surface without staring into it and running my hands through my freshly fucked hair.'

He smirked, 'Freshly fucked?'

I narrowed my eyes. 'Whatever.'

He finished unscrewing the cap and removed the tyre.

'Go on then. Give it your best shot, just let me know when you need my help.' Mason said, crossing his arms as he looked at the new tyre in front of us.

He sat back and smirked at me. Stupid fucking sexy, arrogant ass. His green eyes were lit up with amusement and I wanted to smack him. And kiss him. Not sure which desire outweighed the other.

I grabbed the tyre. It was surprisingly heavy, and I struggled a little to get it off the floor. Mason snorted.

I glared at him, rolling it towards the car.

I managed to get the tyre in the right place, with a lot of sweat and effort. Why are range rover tyres so stupidly heavy? I was determined though. I could do this.

I started screwing in the tyre. The first bit was easy and I grinned at Mason. He shook his head laughing.

My smile fell as the resistance increased. I bit back a groan as my arms started shrieking at me.

Mason raised his eyebrow at me with a big smirk, 'Need help yet?'

'No.' I snapped, gritting my teeth as I finished screwing it in.

I made a note to myself that I should maybe start going to the gym. Mason had a point, this job does take strength, and I could definitely be stronger.

I moved on to the next one.

Mason came closer and I turned to glare at him, 'Can I help you?' I snapped.

'No.' He said, the corner of his mouth pulled up in a smirk, 'Just wanted to get a first-hand view of when you give up.'

'You are such a fucking asshole.' I said grumpily.

'Aw.' He said sweetly, his green eyes sparkling.

I swallowed heavily. I refuse to be turned on by him.

I growled as I finished screwing in the third part. One more to go. I wiped my sweaty hands on my leggings. I felt like my whole body was dripping with sweat.

I gasped as I felt Mason's breath on the back of my neck. My whole body went into overdrive and my hand on the screwdriver froze.

His fingers brushed a droplet of sweat away from my neck and I bit back a moan as electricity shot through my body and coiled in my stomach.

'Ready to give up?' He said huskily in my ear.

It took me a second to hear what he said. I struggled to breathe, my heart was hammering in my chest and my body was hyperaware of his behind me.

Suddenly his words registered, and I moved abruptly, turning around glare at him. 'No.'

His face was inches from mine and his green eyes were dark as they stared into mine.

I let out a shaky breath.

'I think…' Mason said, moving closer.

'Yeah.' I said breathily.

'You should give up and let me do it.' He finished, smirking.

I huffed and turned back around to the tyre. He chuckled behind me.

'Asshole.' I said under my breath.

I finished the tyre and sat back with a triumphant smile.

'See.' I said cockily.

Mason threw back his head and laughed. I found myself smiling in response. It was a delightful sound, but also… shockingly familiar.

I stared at him in confusion. I had definitely heard that laugh before. Where the fuck had I heard that laugh before?

'Have we met before?' I said, frowning at him.

He sighed, his green eyes looking intently into mine. 'I don't know, have we?'

I bit my lip, 'You seem familiar. But, I don't know why.'

Mason's eyes searched mine and then he laughed humourlessly. 'You're right, you can do this.'

'What?' I said, frowning.

He stood up and looked down at me. 'The tyre, you were right, you can do it. Finish the ones on this side and I'll do the ones on the other side after.'

'I thought you said it would be better if we did them together?' I said confused.

'Yeah.' He said bitterly. 'I changed my mind.'

He walked off and I stared at the tyre with a frown. What the fuck.

**X**

I pulled up Paul's house with a yawn. The rest of the shift at the garage, Mason had steadily ignored me, finishing the tyres on his side without a word, then storming off to his motorcycle. Fucking mood swings.

I opened my car door and went to knock on Paul's door.

He opened it, looking dishevelled. He was wearing a pair of black joggers and a grey top. His hair was in a mess on his head and his eyes looked sleepy. He looked cute. And hot as fuck at the same time.

'Hi.' I said, walking in, dropping my bag and wrapping my arms around his neck.

'Mmm hi.' He said, burying his face in my neck.

'Were you having a nap?'

He laughed softly, 'Apparently. I was just finishing off this final piece for Senora Gomez and woke up about 5 minutes ago with my face in the book.' He pointed to his cheek, 'You can probably still see the red marks from where it was pressing into my face.'

I grinned. You could.

'Want a beer?' He said, running a hand through his hair.

'Fuck yeah.'

We walked into the kitchen and I hopped up onto the kitchen counter. He popped the top off and then handed me a cold beer. I shivered as the cool bottle touched my hand. I took a swig and sighed. It tasted so good. Exactly what I needed.

Paul stepped between my legs and I felt my body heat up automatically. I tilted my head back as I had another sip of beer. Paul started kissing my neck with these wet, open mouthed kisses that went straight to my core.

'Uh.' I moaned, putting my beer on the counter. He nudged my thighs open wider and stepped closer so he was pressed up against me. His lips met mine, tantalisingly slowly, his tongue flicking across my lower lip.

I opened my mouth, my tongue meeting his languidly. I moaned into his mouth, my hand sliding up his back and into his hair.

His hands ran down my body, spreading heat as they trailed down my sides.

'I like this T-Shirt.' He said huskily, grabbing the hem and pulling it off me.

I laughed breathily, 'You do?'

His mouth fell on my chest and I gasped, throwing my head back as he lay hot kisses over my heated skin.

'It's tight as fuck, but covers you up, like it's teasing what's underneath.' He said between kisses, his hand deftly undoing my bra.

He flung it aside and his tongue wrapped around my nipple and I moaned, wrapping my legs around his waist.

_Fuck, feels so good._

I pulled his head to mine fiercely. Enough teasing.

I bit his lip and pulled his hair a little as I angled my mouth against his to kiss him more deeply. He groaned into my mouth, his arms wrapping around my body.

'I want you.' I moaned, kissing down his neck, my hands sliding down his chest and slipping under his shirt, feeling his abs contract under my fingers.

He smirked at me as he pulled my leggings off and groaned softly as he laid eyes on my red thong. He slid it down my thighs, his fingers immediately going between my legs.

'Mmm.' I moaned, leaning back onto my elbows. Paul leaned in and licked down my neck, biting the skin gently between his teeth while his fingers teased my clit.

'Mm, so fucking wet.' He groaned.

I pulled his T-shirt over his head, biting my lip as I revealed his body. I kissed and licked at his chest, running the palm of my hand down his abs. He growled softly as I cupped his cock through the material. I looked at him under my eyelashes as I slid my hand into his joggers, brushing my fingers over his balls.

He groaned, looking at me with lust filled eyes. He looked so fucking hot. I grabbed his waistband and pulled his joggers down.

'Mm commando.' I said grinning as his hard cock slapped against his stomach.

I felt my stomach curl with anticipation. I wanted him inside me.

He leant towards me and kissed me fiercely, his hand tangling in my hair as he stepped in closer, his hand going back between my legs as he slid a finger inside me.

I opened my legs wider, whimpering into his mouth as he curled his fingers towards my belly button.

I wrapped my right hand around his cock, pumping up and down a few times and he growled softly, bucking his hips into my hand.

He pulled back and dropped to his knees, swiping his tongue across my folds and my clit.

'Oh, fuck.' I moaned, my hand tangling in his hair. His tongue felt so good. He flicked his tongue over my clit a few times and my eyes rolled back into my head.

I wanted him so badly.

I tugged his head upwards gently. 'Mm, I want you to fuck me.' I said huskily. He smirked playfully, grabbing a condom from the pocket of his joggers. He stood up and my hand went back to his cock, rubbing my thumb over the tip.

He groaned, his mouth slightly parted with lust and his eyes dark. So fucking sexy.

'Come here.' I moaned, licking my lips.

He bent down to kiss me again, angling his head and sliding his tongue into my mouth. He rubbed it against the underside of mine, and I whimpered into his mouth.

I heard the tearing of plastic and I leant my head back as he licked down my neck.

'You're so sexy.' He murmured, biting my shoulder gently.

He pulled me to the edge of the counter, and I gasped, opening my legs wide as he stepped in towards me. His hot hands gripped my waist and he tilted me back, so I was resting in his hands. I hitched my leg over his hip and we both moaned as he slid inside me.

I tilted my head back in pleasure. This position meant he was so deep.

'Fuck, you feel so good.' I moaned, tightening my legs around his waist.

He groaned into my neck. I shifted my hips impatiently and I felt his lips turn up in a smile.

He rocked back and then drove his hips into me and we both gasped.

'Fuck, yeaah.' He panted, rocking his hips into me in a steady rhythm.

I arched my back and his lips fell on my chest, licking across my nipples and making me whimper. I rested my hands behind me so I could push off the counter a little with every thrust. He growled in response. My eyes rolled back into my head as he swivelled his hips, increasing the pace a little.

I moved one of my arms to grab his hair and pull his mouth to mine. His lips crashed against mine hard, and he sucked my tongue lightly making me cry out.

God, I loved it when you got to this stage of regular sex with someone, when you knew exactly where to touch each other.

'Harder, fuck me harder.' I gasped, pulling him closer to me and wrapping my other leg around his hip. It drove him deeper inside me and I gasped at the new sensation.

'Fuck. Ungh Bella.' He groaned into my ear. His hands moved to my ass as he slammed into me and he squeezed softly making me moan. I moved my hips forward as he thrust and swore loudly as it hit a spot that made me feel like I was going to come on the spot.

'Oh my god.' I gasped, my nails digging into his back. He was panting in my neck.

'Fuck.' He growled, gripping my ass tightly as he picked me up off the counter.

He spun around, walking a few steps before slamming us into the kitchen wall, pinning my arms above my head.

Fuck me. The change in angle was…

'Holy fuck, oh my god.' I cried out, keeping my legs tightly wrapped around his waist.

Paul grunted as he pounded into me.

'Bella. _Fuck_. You feel so good.' He groaned.

'Oh my god, don't stop, don't stop.' I said gasping.

Paul pulled back a little, his tongue sticking out in concentration as he slammed into me. His eyes dropped down to where we were connected and he moaned.

Oh my god, it felt so good.

I cried out and his eyes flicked up to mine, filled with lust.

He looked so fucking hot.

I felt myself climbing towards something and I gripped his shoulders tightly. This didn't happen often but-

'_Oh_ my fucking, _Paul_.' I screamed, throwing my head back as my legs shook and my body spasmed.

'Fuuuck.' He groaned, 'I love it when you scream my name.'

He increased the pace and I squeezed my thighs around him, my nails digging into his back. He buried his face in my neck, one hand pressed against the wall and the other gripping my hip. He was grunting in my ear and it was so sexy.

I felt myself building up again.

'Oh my god-' I gasped, 'Right there, I think I'm gonna-'

Paul's hand on my hip gripped harder as he groaned, 'Are you gonna come for me again baby? Ungh, that's so fucking hot, come all over my cock.'

My eyes rolled back into my head as my body started clenching around him. I moaned loudly and bit into his shoulder as I came again.

'Fuck!' He slammed his hand into the wall and let out a loud groan and it sounded so fucking sexy.

He turned us around and slid down the wall, breathing heavily.

We sat there for a while, letting our breathing go back to normal.

I dropped my head to his shoulder.

'That…was amazing.' I said, out of breath.

'Mmm.' Paul said, leaning his head back against the wall with his eyes closed.

I lifted my head up and giggled, he looked so fucking tired.

One of his eyes opened, staring at me.

'You look shattered.' I said, kissing him. He tasted of sweat and apples and just mmm.

He smiled against my mouth. 'That was just round one.'

I leant back, 'Oh?' I said coyly.

'Yeah.' He said cockily.

I laughed. 'Can I go shower before round 2? I feel really sweaty, and I'm still covered in car oil.'

He laughed, 'Sure.'

I stood up and stumbled a little, my legs feeling shaky.

He smirked at me from the floor, 'Unsteady baby?' He said, raising an eyebrow.

I flipped him the bird and he laughed, standing up. He peeled the condom off, tying it and chucking it in the bin.

I licked my lips, he looked so good naked. My stomach clenched, I wanted him again.

I grabbed my beer and drunk some, offering it to Paul.

He tilted his head back and finished the bottle, placing it on the counter with a flourish.

'Want to come shower with me?' I said, running my hand down his chest and abs, grinning as his cock twitched.

He bit his lip.

'I do, but I also want to get this work finished so I can spend the rest of the night with you.'

I pouted.

He smiled, 'I'm almost done, just got to do the last piece. Believe me, I'm going to fuck you in the shower, just not right now.'

I laughed, 'Okay, fine.'

He kissed me deeply and I moaned into his mouth. He pulled back and playfully pushed me towards the stairs.

'There's towels in the cupboard next to the bathroom.'

I walked towards the stairs, completely nude, giggling as Paul groaned.

'Fuck, this is testing my self control. You should always be naked.' He said, brown eyes sparkling.

'So should you.' I said, turning at the top of the stairs. He was standing there, with a sheen of sweat across his body, making his muscles glisten. Mmm. I ran my hand down my body playfully and he groaned softly.

'Enjoy your shower.' He grinned naughtily and I shivered.

The shower felt amazing. I leant my head back in the water, glad there was some shampoo in there. It smelt good, like freesia.

It was so funny that nobody knew how smart Paul was except me. Well, and maybe Jasper, I knew they were really close so it's possible he knew too.

I sighed. I wanted Jasper more, I did, but I was really going to fucking miss Paul. The sex was great, but better than that, our friendship was great. And I just didn't know how to do one without the other.

I got out the shower, wrapping myself in a towel and my hair in a smaller one.

I walked into Paul's room and grabbed myself a T-shirt and a pair of boxers before walking downstairs. Something smelled really good.

As I walked into the kitchen I paused, smiling.

Paul was standing shirtless, bent over a book with a pen in his mouth. He was wearing his black joggers again. To the right of him, cooking on the stove was some pasta and oh-

'Yum is that garlic bread I smell?' I said excitedly.

He turned around, the pen still in his mouth.

'Yep.' He grinned. 'Not homemade, I cheated. In fact, I cheated with the pasta too, because the sauce is from a jar, and you know the pasta is easy to make.'

He turned back around.

'You made me dinner?' I said as a weird feeling washed over me.

He continued writing in his book, 'Yep.'

He made me dinner? He_ made_ me dinner. Dinner. That he made. No guy has ever made me dinner before. Except well, Phil, and that's different.

'Done!' He said, turning around with a grin.

'Finished?' I said, raising an eyebrow.

He shrugged, 'I think so, I'll read over it again tomorrow morning before I submit it but yeah, it's done.'

He offered it to me. 'Want to check on my handiwork.'

I laughed, 'Even though your Spanish is better than mine?'

He rolled his eyes, 'Your Spanish is just as good as mine, I don't know why you don't do AP.'

I shrugged and grabbed the book.

I read through it smiling. 'It's great. Perfect even.'

He smirked, 'Obviously.'

I smacked him. 'Does anyone know about the AP Spanish except me?'

He sighed. 'No.'

I frowned. 'Why are you-

He kissed me, preventing me from talking and I giggled into his mouth.

'I don't want to talk about it.' He said, pulling back. 'Now, go find something for us to watch.'

I laughed, 'Fine.'

I sat in front of the TV and turned it on. 'Do you want to watch a movie?' I said loudly, yawning.

'Sure.' He said from the kitchen. 'Pick anything, I don't care.'

I saw Transformers was on Netflix and grinned as I queued it up.

I walked back into the kitchen. He put the pasta in bowls and tore up the garlic bread on top.

'Thank you.' I said, smiling softly.

'Whatever.' He said, shrugging.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed us some beers.

We sat in front of the TV and Paul laughed.

'Transformers?'

I pouted, 'It's my favourite movie, don't judge me.'

'I haven't actually seen it.' He admitted, shooting me a concerned glance.

I gasped loudly, 'Excuse me, what the fuck?'

He laughed, 'I just never got around to it.'

'Well,' I said, tearing a piece of garlic bread and putting it in my mouth, 'You're in for a fucking awakening.'

**X**

'But did you see how the car flipped over that other car and then bam, it was an decepticon and it went after Optimus Prime, but he was all, not today bitch. Fucking epic.' Paul babbled.

I laughed. 'I knew you'd like it.'

He grinned, 'Are there more?'

I raised my eyebrows, 'There are 3 more yeah.'

'Fucking A. Let's put on the next one.'

I pouted, 'What happened to round 2.'

He grinned at me then pulled me onto his lap.

I kissed him, tangling my fingers in his hair and running my hands down his bare chest.

He moved us so he was lying on top of me.

'Hmm, maybe this isbetter than watching the next one.' He said playfully, nipping at my neck.

'Maybe?' I said in mock anger.

He laughed into my neck and slipped his hands under the T-shirt, skimming his fingers across my nipples.

I moaned.

'Maybe.' He repeated, kissing my mouth.

I opened my mouth, sucking on his lower lip.

He pulled back and paused, hovering over me.

'Bella.'

I looked up at him. 'Yeah?'

He frowned, 'Never mind.'

I raised my eyebrows, 'What is it?'

He started kissing my neck, 'Nothing.'

I shrugged. Okay then.

He pulled off my shirt and his lips went to my chest and I threw my head back moaning.

**X**

'We are ridiculously good at this.' Paul said. He was lying on the floor next to the couch and I was lying on it.

I laughed. 'We really are.'

We went quiet.

'Thank you for dinner.' I said softly.

Paul smiled, sliding his hands behind his head. 'You're welcome.'

Curiosity got the best of me. 'Why haven't you told your dad about the AP Spanish?'

He sighed, and I bit my lip, wondering if he'd even answer me.

'If I tell my dad.' He said, staring at the ceiling, 'Then he'll want me to go and study law at Harvard, like he did. Then he'll want me to come back here and work for him, take over the business. I don't want that. I don't know what I want to do, but I know it's not that.'

I stayed silent, not sure what to say.

'My mom knew I never wanted it, she used to stand up for me. But after she died…' He closed his eyes briefly. 'I've spent years, convincing my dad I'm not cut out for law. That I lack the intelligence. If he knew I was capable of anything AP, he would make me go.'

I frowned, 'But doesn't he see your report cards?'

Paul laughed. 'He doesn't care anymore. I purposefully scored low in my SATS and after he saw that he gave up. Besides, he's not around anyway. He spends 6 months a year working 12-hour days, then goes away for the other 6.'

He looked at me. 'I had to retake my SATs, I just didn't tell him what I got the second time around.'

'Could he really make you go?' I said after a while.

Paul smiled humourlessly. 'He's a persuasive man.'

'I'm sorry.' I said gently.

Paul shrugged. He looked at me. 'What about you?'

'What about me?' I said, looking back up at the ceiling.

He leant on his elbow, 'Your parents, you never talk about them, ever.'

'So?' I said, frowning.

He sighed, 'Fine.'

I bit my lip. 'I don't- There's nothing to say.'

There wasn't. Charlie doesn't give a fuck. Renee doesn't give a fuck. One's a cheating bastard, the other's an alcoholic. What can I possibly say.

'Okay.' He said.

'I can't.' I said, feeling my stomach twist. 'I can't talk about it. Okay?'

'Hey, it's okay.' He said, sitting up.

I felt bad, he'd opened up to me. I just couldn't do it back. It wasn't even that I didn't trust him. In a weird way I did, I knew he wouldn't tell anyone, but I just couldn't say it out loud. If I said anything out loud, it would become real. And I didn't want it to be real.

'It's not that I don't want to, I mean I don't, but I would, I just-

He cut me off by kissing me. He pulled back, 'I'm sorry. If you ever want to tell me, then you can. I shouldn't have asked.'

I nodded. He lay back on the floor.

'Jasper likes you.'

I snorted, that was a change in subject. I sighed, turning to face him.

'I told you, I don't date.'

'Yeah, I know, but I have a feeling Jasper will make you change your mind.'

I scoffed. 'You know, if you and Jasper weren't best friends, I wouldn't stop sleeping with you.'

He dropped back to the floor. 'Maybe.'

'Seriously.' I said, quirking a brow. 'I don't do exclusive shit and I don't do dating.'

Paul shrugged. 'Me neither.'

'How many girls have you been with since we've been fucking?' I said, interestedly.

He sighed, 'Actually, none.'

No fucking way.

I raised my eyebrows, 'Really?'

He shrugged, 'You?'

'How many girls? Can't say I've been with any.' I joked.

He threw a pillow at me and I laughed.

'Just you.' I said, 'In terms of sex, anyway.'

He looked at the ceiling, 'So you've messed around?'

I nodded.

'With Jasper?'

I stayed silent and he nodded. 'I figured.'

'Why haven't you been with anyone else?' I said, looking at him curiously.

He laughed, 'You keep me way too busy.'

I rolled my eyes.

He sighed, 'I don't know. I just haven't.'

He didn't bother asking me why I hadn't. We both knew the answer. Because Jasper has a girlfriend.

Besides, truthfully, if Bronze was up for it, I'd have been bent over his bike the day I met him.

'Stay over?' Paul said, grinning at me. 'I want to watch the next transformers.'

I bit my lip. Was it a good idea? I know we'd slept together after Victoria's, but that was drunk, and we were sober right now. It probably wasn'ta good idea. But I didn't want to go home. And I did like sleeping with him.

'Okay.' I said, crawling off the sofa and on top of him.

He groaned, laughing. 'Oh my god I can't breathe.'

I giggled, 'Are you calling me fat.'

He smirked, his brown eyes sparkling. 'Nope.'

'Hmm.' I said, biting his shoulder playfully.

'Do you need to call anyone?' He said, brown eyes looking intently into mine.

'No.' I said, meeting his gaze. Thankfully he didn't say anything, just nodded.

We put on the next movie.

* * *

A/N: Woo. The regular updates have begun :)

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know I promised you a longer one, but I had to split this chapter into two, because it got ridiculously long. The second part is worth the wait till next week, trust me.

Please review and let me know what you think!

Lots of love,

Creaatingmadness xoxo


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I woke with a start. It was only just getting light outside. Paul was fast asleep, his arm slung over my waist and his head buried in his pillow.

I'd only been asleep for a few hours, but my dreams had been intense. In one of them, I was back in my old house, walking in on Charlie and Tanya, I ran outside and Edward was standing there, I ran towards him but just as I got close he disappeared. Then I was standing in a room, Tanya was on the other side and Charlie was in the middle, I was calling his name but he ignored me and walked to Tanya.

Stupid dreams, about Edward, and my dad. Two people who didn't give a fuck about me. I sighed heavily.

Not that Renee cared either. Phil was going away again on Saturday, and this time it would be for the week again.

I didn't know how Renee was going to handle it. I had mixed emotions, I wanted to not care, like she didn't seem to care about me, but I did care. And the more I thought about it, the more I felt like something more was going on with her than just being a drunk.

I got out of bed, careful not to disturb Paul and walked out of the room.

There was no point trying to go back to sleep. It just wouldn't happen.

I went to the toilet and then went downstairs, turning on a pot of coffee. I had a scroll through my phone, it was only 5am, and we didn't need to be at school until 9 so I had time to kill. Nobody messaged me to ask why I didn't come home…whatever.

I'd only had 3 hours sleep.

We watched half of the second Transformers last night and then went up to bed, where we ended up having sex again.

God the sex was good, so good. I was really going to miss it.

I sipped my coffee, watching the sky go from black to a grey. My thoughts were racing, and I felt kind of anxious. I needed to start running again. Truthfully, with the move to Phil's flat I hadn't found a new running route. I missed it though, it took a lot of tension away.

We'd left the kitchen a bit of a mess last night, so I started cleaning it, spraying the counters and putting the dishes in the dishwasher. After I'd finished, I made another cup of coffee and went to go sit in the garden so I could smoke. I grabbed a big blanket from the sofa and wrapped it around me. I was wearing a pair of Paul's boxers and nothing else.

It wasn't that cold outside, but cold enough that I wrapped the blanket around me tightly as I sat on the little bench on his porch. The sun was rising, it looked beautiful, a soft orange. I lit my cigarette and breathed in slowly.

Paul's garden was pretty big, like Jasper's, but it was so empty. It was tidy, I'm guessing a gardener came every week or so. But it just lacked…I don't know, a soft touch? Everything was so trimmed back and even though there were flowers, it was cold, not beautiful.

Just like the house.

My heart ached for Paul. It must be so lonely, being in this big house on his own, all the time.

_I wonder what happened to his mom. I mean I know she died, but I wonder how? Has he even spoken to anyone about it?_

'What are you doing out here?' I heard Paul say behind me, his voice husky from sleep. I jumped, turning to look at him.

He was standing in the doorway in his boxers, his eyes still half closed. He looked delicious as always.

'Sorry.' I said, biting my lip, 'Did I wake you up?'

'No.' He said, coming to sit next to me and stealing some of the blanket. 'I woke up and you weren't there, I thought you might have left.'

'I wouldn't have left without saying bye.' I said, resting my head on his shoulder and my hand on his hard stomach.

He sighed. 'How long have you been up?'

I looked at my phone, it was 6:15. 'Just over an hour.' I said.

Paul wrapped his arm around me, 'Couldn't sleep?'

I snuggled into him. His body was so warm. 'No.'

'You should try and go back to sleep.' I said, turning to look at him.

His brown eyes stared into mine. I could see little specks of hazel and I felt my heart jump a little in my chest.

'I'm fine here.' He said softly.

'Okay.' I said, staring back out into the garden.

We didn't talk any more. He just sat there silently, his arm wrapped around me.

I was grateful. Grateful that he knew I didn't want to talk about it, that he understood I wanted to sit there and just be silent.

We sat there for about half an hour, though it felt like minutes.

When the sun had fully risen, I turned to him yawning. He was staring out at the garden lost in his own thoughts.

'Want to go back in?' I asked.

He looked at me and smiled, 'Sure.'

We walked into the kitchen.

'You cleaned.' He commented.

'Yeah.' I said, shrugging. 'It was the least I could do, you made me dinner after all.'

'Hmm.' He said, pulling the blanket off my body.

My nipples went hard instantly, and he grinned.

'I like having you half naked in my kitchen.'

He picked me up and sat me on the counter, kissing me softly. He tasted like toothpaste. Yum. He pulled back with a grin.

'I made coffee. You just need to heat it up.' I said, crossing my legs.

'Okay, want some more?' He walked over to the corner, turning the coffee machine on.

'Definitely.' I said.

I felt almost woozy I was so tired.

I was tempted to call my old friend Aaron, to hook me up with some powder. But…I told myself I wouldn't do that shit again. Better to stick to just weed and booze.

'Hey, you know, if you want to skip today, we can. You had like three hours sleep.' Paul said, handing me a cup of coffee.

'No.' I said, shaking my head. I needed a spotless record if I wanted to get into a good college. Plus, I couldn't do that to Paul. Whether or not he wanted to go Ivy, I think he really had it in him to go, and I wasn't going to be the one to mess it up.

'We only have to have good attendance for half the year, then it doesn't matter. I don't want to skip.'

'Okay.' He said, sipping his coffee.

I hopped off the counter and walked up to him.

'If Jasper breaks up with Lauren today, then we can't have sex anymore.' I said, running my hand down his chiselled chest and stomach.

'Yeah.' Paul said, his eyes meeting mine, dark and intense.

I grabbed the coffee out of his hand and put it on the counter behind him.

'Let's not waste any time then.' I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my lips against his.

'Mmm.' He said, running his hands softly down my back and sliding his tongue into my mouth. I sighed into his mouth, tilting my head to the left and pressing myself closer to him. He felt so good.

In one swift move he scooped his hands under my thighs and picked me up. I giggled, wrapping my legs around his waist. He walked with me out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

I laughed as he dropped me on the bed, falling on top of me.

'Better make it count.' He said, tugging the boxers off me.

I pulled his mouth to mine.

**X**

'You look awful.' Rose said when I sat down opposite her in the cafeteria at break.

'No, I don't.' I said, smiling at her.

She grinned, 'No you don't, but you do look tired as fuck, what's wrong?'

Oh I don't know, my mom is a complete psycho, and I still miss my stupid dad even though he fucked my friend and literally couldn't give a fuck about me? Also, I still dream about my ex best friend, who also doesn't give a fuck.

'Nothing.' I said, picking at my apple.

Paul sat down next to me, his eyes bleary. He was clutching a cup of coffee.

'Oh, I see.' She said, smirking. 'Tired Paul?'

He yawned.

'We had a lot of sex.' I said shrugging.

Paul almost spat out his drink.

We had sex twice this morning. We ended up fucking in the shower too, which makes 5 times in 24 hours. Not bad.

'Clearly.' Rose said bemused.

'Why do Bella and Paul look like they're about to pass out?' Emmett said as he sat down next to Rose.

'Sex Emmett.' Rose said slyly, 'A marathon of sex.'

He raised an eyebrow. 'Nice.'

'Also, we were watching Transformers.' I said with a grin.

'Is that a euphemism?' Emmett said, his eyebrows waggling.

'No.' Paul and I laughed.

'I heard Jasper's breaking up with Lauren today.' Rose said, looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

'So.' I said, raising mine back.

'Just interesting timing is all.' She said, shrugging.

'Whatever do you mean Rosalie?' I said, daring her to continue.

'Nothing.' She said, smirking at me.

'Bitch.' I mouthed.

She smiled at me.

I grabbed Paul's coffee and had some, running my hand through his hair. He yawned.

'I need to go do that thing.' He said, winking at me.

Ah, the Spanish.

'Good luck.' I said with a smile.

He kissed me on the mouth and then left.

I sipped at his coffee, thankful he'd left it behind. I was feeling myself lagging.

I looked up at Emmett and Rosalie and they were staring at me.

'What?' I snapped.

'Nothing.' Rose said, pursing her lips.

I huffed, 'I'm going for a smoke.'

I walked out of the cafeteria.

The smoking area was surprisingly busy, and I went and sat on the wall in my favourite spot, lighting my cigarette.

'Oh sweet, sweet nicotine.' I said to myself.

'Bella?'

I looked up and raised my eyebrows when I saw Angela, the one who'd asked Jasper who the hottest girl was at the party on Saturday. I'd seen her around in the week, but we hadn't spoken.

'Hey.' I said, nodding at her. 'You smoke?'

I was surprised.

She laughed. 'No.' She frowned and played with her glasses, 'Not that there's anything wrong with smoking I just'-

'Dude.' I interrupted laughing. 'It's cool. How come you're out here then?'

She motioned to a girl standing in the middle of the smoking area. She was really pretty, with shoulder-length platinum hair and green eyes.

'Irina smokes.'

'Fair enough.' I yawned. Angela beckoned Irina over and I bit back a grimace.

I was not in a social mood. This is what being nice breeds…ugh.

Irina walked over, 'Hi, I'm Irina.'

I smiled, 'I'm Bella.'

'You're new here right?' She said, cocking her head.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. No fucking way she didn't know that.

'Uh-huh.' I replied.

'Hmm.' She said, pursing her lips.

'Did you want something?' I said, getting irritated.

Angela looked nervous but it didn't phase Irina.

She smirked cockily, 'Are you and Paul dating?'

I laughed. 'No.'

For god's sake.

I raised my eyebrow, 'Why?'

She grinned, 'Well, let's just say I think Paul and I have mutual interests.'

Right…

'Okay?' I said, ignoring the weird twisty feeling I had in my gut. 'So what? You want to fuck him?'

She rolled her eyes, 'No, I wantto date him.'

I laughed, 'I don't think that's his style, you must know that.'

She smirked, 'Yeah well, I think he'll feel differently about me.'

I snorted, 'Okay.'

She pursed her lips, 'Aw, don't worry, maybe your just not his type.'

'Excuse me?' I said laughing, 'What the fuck are you on about?'

She made a sad face, 'Well, you seem kind of upset, that he doesn't want to date you.'

Okay. Wow. What a fucking bitch.

I quirked a brow at Angela who was looking down sheepishly. Yeah…you know she's a bitch don't you.

I rolled my eyes. 'This conversation is rapidly making me want to shoot myself, so I suggest you fuck off, now.'

She made an indignant noise, 'Ooh, hit a nerve. Don't feel bad, some people just aren't dating material.'

I took in a deep breath.

_Do not hit her. Do not hit her. You do not need to hit her._

The bell rung.

Oh, thank fuck for that.

I hopped off the wall and walked off.

_Angela, you are now dead to me._

Music passed without incident and even Newton was surprisingly quiet for once. I didn't bother asking him why, in case it would make him start chatting again.

I smiled widely when I saw Jasper in History. His golden hair was tucked behind one of his ears with a pen and his blue eyes sparkled as they met mine.

I felt my stomach flip just from looking at him.

'Hey darlin'.' He said, grinning.

He was so fucking sexy.

'Hi.' I replied, smiling back as I sat down next to Emmett.

'How you feeling Bella boo?' Emmett asked, raising his eyebrow at me.

'Hanging in there.' I said, yawning.

'What's wrong?' Jasper asked, frowning.

'She didn't get much sleep.' Emmett said, waggling his eyebrows.

'Huh.' Jasper said confused, then he looked at Emmett and recognition dawned on his face. 'Oh.' He frowned.

I flicked Emmett's knee and he shot me a grin.

Stirrer. He was a stirrer.

I stared at Jasper as Dr. Shadwell started talking about an assignment we had to do. As soon as Jasper and I were alone together, after Lauren, I was going to tangle my fingers in that hair, then kiss my way down his neck.

Lust flipped through my stomach and I bit my lip.

Mm, then I'd take off his shirt, and kiss down his chest and stomach, and I'd get to see his big-

'This is bullshit.' Emmett said, tearing me out of my fantasy.

'What?' I said, turning to him, trying to blink away the desire.

Jasper's eyes met mine mischievously.

'This fucking essay, 3000 words on whether or not you think the impact of the Civil War was mainly economic, political or social.' Emmett groaned, 'It's going to be shit.'

'Oh crap.' I said, biting my lip. I knew nothing about the Civil War, and I really struggled with history.

Jasper was grinning. 'I think it'll be awesome.'

I locked eyes with him and felt my breathing hitch as his bright blue eyes stared into mine. The corner of his mouth went up in a playful grin.

Emmett huffed, 'Of course you do.'

'Jas, you'll have to help me.' I said, pouting.

He smirked, 'Happy to help darlin'.'

'Thank you.' I said gratefully, looking at him from under my eyelashes.

He chuckled in that low, husky way that drove me crazy and I bit my lip, shifting in my seat as that familiar ache between my legs started.

Jasper's eyes darkened.

Emmett rolled his eyes. 'Did you talk to Lauren Jas?'

That broke the spell and Jasper and I both sat back in our seats suddenly.

Jasper grimaced, 'Not yet, I'm going to do it after swim practice tonight.'

'Fair enough.' Emmett replied, 'You worried man?'

Jasper sighed, 'A little. I'm going to talk to her dad first, just make him aware of what's going on and that it doesn't mean I won't still be in her life. And then I'll tell her. I have no idea how it's going to go.'

I made a face. Sounded horrible.

But wait… if Jasper wasn't going to break up with Lauren till after school, then technically, technically, Paul and I were still okay for the rest of the school day.

I texted him.

_What are you doing at Lunch? B_

'It'll be fine dude.' Emmett said, gently punching him in the arm. 'It's for the best.'

Jasper looked at me with a smirk, 'I know.'

_Nothing, why? P_

I looked at the text and replied quickly.

_J isn't doing it till afterschool so…usual spot? Last time! B x_

'I do seriously need help with this.' I said, as Dr. Shadwell started droning on about research.

'I've got you darlin.' Jasper said, shooting me a smile.

My stomach flipped. God he was adorable, and sexy and just ungh.

'What are you doing on Sunday?' Jasper asked, smirking at me.

I laughed, 'Hmm, I don't know. Might be busy.' I said coyly.

'Oh yeah?' He said, licking his lips. My eyes dropped to them instantly, fixating on the shimmer of moisture left behind on his bottom lip.

I wanted to lick it.

'Can I say anything to change your mind?'

'Huh.' I said, biting my lip, my brain taking a second to process his words.

He was so distracting.

He laughed, eyes sparkling.

I met his eyes with a grin, 'I guess I can make time for you.'

Emmett groaned, 'Jesus, would you two just stop.'

'No.' I said playfully.

I looked at my phone again, but Paul hadn't replied.

I pouted. Oh well, I guess this morning was the last time then.

My phone vibrated in my hand.

_See you there. P_

I smiled to myself as I wrote down notes.

As we left the classroom, Jasper's hand brushed against mine and I smirked to myself at the familiar jolt of electricity. God, I was actually going to be able to fuck him on Sunday. I couldn't wait. Not just because we'd finally be able to relieve the tension that was driving us both insane, but also because hopefully it would stop me being so fucking obsessed with him.

I meant what I'd said to Paul, I don't want to date Jasper. Even though he's sweet, and sexy and charming and funny. I don't. I definitely don't.

Paul wasn't in the abandoned girl's toilets yet when I arrived, so I stood in front of the mirror on my phone.

I looked up at my reflection. I'd had to borrow one of Paul's step mums outfits this morning, because I didn't bring a change of clothes. Luckily, she was small. I'd borrowed a white sundress, it had small sleeves that led down to ample cleavage. It went in at the waist and then flared out very slightly at the bottom, ending about mid-thigh. I was wearing it with my vans, because I didn't have anything else with me.

Thank god I always carry emergency underwear everywhere. I would not have been comfortable having to borrow that. I smirked. I probably would have just worn no underwear in that instance. But I don't think Paul would have complained.

I continued scrolling Instagram on my phone for a while, getting restless.

I frowned, where was he?

The door opened then, and Paul walked in.

'Hi.' I said, smiling at him.

'Hey.' He replied, locking the door behind him.

'How you feeling?' I said, walking up to him and hugging him.

He didn't really return the hug. 'Fine.' He said shrugging. 'You?'

'I'm good.' I said, stepping back with frown. 'How did it go? With Senora Gomez?'

He shrugged again, 'I guess I'll find out in a few weeks.'

'Okay.' I said cautiously. 'What's wrong?'

His brown eyes met mine then, with an unreadable expression in them. 'Nothing.'

I bit my lip. Well, clearly something's up.

I stared at him, but he looked away. Right okay then.

'Let's just go.' I said with a sigh. I started to walk away but he grabbed me as I turned and pulled me back to him gently.

'Bella, wait.' He said, frowning.

'What's going on?' I said frustratedly.

He tugged me towards him and cupped my cheek, before leaning in and kissing me fiercely. His other hand wrapped around my waist and I melted into his touch, wrapping my arms around his neck as his hand on my cheek slid into my hair.

He licked my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, sliding my tongue to meet his.

He walked us backwards and pressed me against the door, moving his mouth to kiss down my neck as we caught our breath.

Something was up with him. I knew him well enough to know that. I just didn't know what it was. But despite the moment last night, we didn't like talking about stuff, and if he wanted to fuck me instead of talk to me about it, then that was fine by me.

His hands ran down my body and slipped under the dress, making me moan. I was so comfortable with him now, with his touch. It was easy and familiar, and it felt so good.

I grabbed his belt and undid it, undoing his zipper. His lips met mine again, and I gasped into his mouth as he bit my bottom lip.

His hands slid up my thighs, pulling my thong down my legs. His hand quickly slid to the juncture between my legs and I threw my head back into the door.

God, he knew just how to touch me.

I kissed down his neck this time, my hands slipping under his shirt and running across his stomach and back. He groaned softly, tilting his head back as my tongue ran down his neck.

'Fuck.' I muttered as his fingers slipped inside me. I kissed him, rubbing my tongue against his and he made a noise in the back of his throat, his other hand grabbing my ass tightly.

'Bella.' He said, drawing back, his eyes meeting mine intently. 'I need-'

'I know.' I interrupted, pulling his jeans down and tearing the condom open that was in his back pocket.

He needed to fuck. And he needed it to be fast. I get it.

I hitched my thigh over his hip, and he pressed his thumb against my clit.

'I want you to come first.' He said huskily, licking my neck and moving to my ear, which he bit softly. 'I want you to come on my fingers, and then I'm going to fuck you, and I want you to come again.' He whispered in my ear.

I arched my back at his words and the feeling of his thumb against my clit. His fingers tugged at the zip on the back of my dress and then pulled my dress down over my right shoulder roughly, his mouth licking across my neck and the peak of my breast.

'It won't…' I moaned breathily, '…take long, if you keep doing that.' I threw back my head and he groaned, biting my collar bone. His fingers swivelled inside me at the same time as his thumb circled my clit and I gripped his bicep tightly.

'Fuck, don't stop.' I gasped, my eyes rolling back into my head. I was so close. His mouth descended on my breast and he pulled my bra down, flicking his tongue over my nipple and then sucking it into his mouth.

Oh my god. '_Fuck_ I'm-mm.' Paul swallowed my moans with his mouth as I came. I was still shaking as he slid into me and we both groaned lowly.

'Fuck.' I gasped. Paul gripped my other thigh and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he started slamming into me.

'So fucking tight baby.' Paul groaned, burying his face in my neck. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and gripped on tightly as he pounded into me.

It was hard, it was fast, and it was so fucking good. This is what we needed.

'Fuck,_ fuck_, you feel so good, ungh.' Paul grunted in my ear.

I dug my nails in his back under his shirt and he groaned loudly, his mouth latching on to my shoulder. He was sucking and licking it, and it felt so fucking good.

His thumb slid in between us and pressed against my clit, so that every time he thrust forward it rubbed deliciously against me. It was fucking pleasure, and torture and I was going to come again.

'Fuck, I'm so close.' I gasped into his mouth as he kissed me savagely, biting at my lips. I tugged his bottom lip hard with my teeth and he groaned low in his throat. His mouth went back down to my shoulder and he bit hard. The mix of the pleasure and pain did it for me and I dug my nails into his back as my pleasure peaked.

'Oh fuck.' I gasped.

Paul continued slamming into me, his face buried in my neck as he grunted. He was close, I could tell.

'Fuck, come for me.' I panted, 'Please baby, please, I want you to come. Come inside me.'

Paul swore loudly and then groaned, gripping my ass as his hips slowed.

'Fuck.' I said as he let my legs touch the floor. They were shaking so badly I had to hold onto his shoulder to stop from collapsing. 'That's 6 in 24 hours. Definitely a personal record.'

He nodded, breathing heavily.

'Thank you.' I said, kissing him softly.

He pulled away.

'I'm going to miss this.' I said, laughing.

Something flashed in his eyes, but it went away before I could figure out what it meant.

He walked over to the mirrors and pulled up his underwear and his jeans, re-buckling his belt. I followed him and looked in the mirror.

Embedded in my shoulder was a light purplish bruise, and Paul's teeth.

I laughed, looking at him with my eyebrows raised.

'Shit, I have your teeth imprinted on my body.'

Paul looked at my shoulder blankly, but I didn't miss the look of satisfaction that crossed his face.

I narrowed my eyes, 'Did you do it on purpose?'

Paul looked at me, his brown eyes dark and intense. He turned pulling up his T-shirt.

'Did you do this on purpose?'

I bit my lip. His whole back was covered in red scratches, I'd even drawn blood in some spots.

'I'm so sorry.' I said, touching his back, 'Does it hurt?'

His eyes softened. 'No, does your shoulder hurt?'

'No.'

He walked over to me and kissed me gently, before lightly kissing my shoulder. 'I'm sorry.'

'It's okay.' I said with a smile. I went to hug him, but he stepped back.

I frowned. What the fuck.

'We should go.' He said, running a hand through his hair so it looked normal again.

Right.

I sighed, turning around. 'Can you please zip me up?'

He nodded, his hands gentle as they pulled the zip up my back. His hand hovered at the back of my neck for a moment before he pulled away. He walked over to the door and stood there impatiently while I fixed my hair.

He was quiet on the way to the cafeteria, but I didn't comment on it. He was clearly in a mood.

When we got to the cafeteria he walked up to the counters and I walked up to the table, sitting grumpily in between Rose and Jasper.

'You okay darlin'?' Jasper asked me, knocking his leg into mine. I nodded, smiling at him.

Paul rocked up then and sat opposite me, with a tray full of food.

I looked down.

'How's work going?' Jasper asked me. I looked into his blue eyes and smiled despite my mood. He was so fucking gorgeous.

I smiled, 'It's going amazingly. I'm really enjoying it, and Garett is letting me really get under the car. The only downside is my partner, Mason, because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm an idiot. But Garrett's been really great at letting me try stuff and learn.'

'That's great.' Jasper said, his eyes light, 'Your parents must be proud of you.'

I looked away from him sharply and met Paul's gaze in front of me. He was looking at me with an unreadable emotion in his eyes.

'Yeah.' I muttered to Jasper. Paul's jaw twitched and I bit my lip. He knew I was lying.

'How's the swim team?' I asked, changing the subject.

Jasper grinned. 'It's great! Feel's so good to be back in the water, even if I have to wake up at 5am.'

'Ew.' I shuddered. 'That is so unreasonable.'

Jasper just laughed.

'Here.' Paul said, passing me a plate with a piece of pizza from his tray. 'You should eat something.'

I went to say I wasn't hungry, but my stomach growled, and I sighed, taking the pizza. I was hungry. I hadn't eaten anything all day.

'Thank you.' I said softly. He didn't acknowledge it, just turned to Emmett to talk about football. They started this week too

I bit into the pizza, god, it was actually pretty good. Rose had scared me half to death with her account of the cafeteria food, but really it wasn't that bad.

I turned to Jasper, 'What do you think you're going to say in your answer for Dr. Shadwell?' I asked him. He didn't reply. I frowned. He was looking at Paul with a curious expression.

I frowned, 'Jas?' I said to him.

His turned towards me, 'Sorry darlin'.' He bit his lip, 'I didn't catch that.'

I pouted and he grinned, his blue eyes making my stomach clench.

'I'm sorry.' He said, touching my thigh and looking at me from under his thick black lashes. My breathing hitched and I kind of forgot what I was even talking about.

My leg under his hand felt like it was burning.

He dropped his head and smiled at my reaction.

'What did you ask darlin'?' He said softly, rubbing his thumb into my thigh. I gulped.

God, what did I ask? His smile widened slightly.

'Umm.' I said, biting my lip. His thumb against my thigh felt so fucking good. I couldn't concentrate.

'How did it go with Lauren?' Embry asked Jasper.

He sighed, removing his hand from my leg.

'I haven't done it yet…'

I went back to my pizza as Jasper turned to speak to Embry.

'I need a cigarette.' I said, as I finished it, getting up. Paul looked up at me and then back down to his food.

Nobody said they wanted to come so I went by myself.

Instead of going to the smoking area I just went to my car. I just didn't want to be around people. I sat in the passenger seat and reclined it all the way, cracking the windows open so I could smoke. It was a little risky, but I figured that no teachers would be over here anyway, and at least not during lunch.

It was nice to get some peace and quiet. I was tired, and Paul's off mood had pissed me off.

I managed to get away with the smoking in the car fiasco, thank god. The rest of the day passed by in a blur, I was kind of lost in my own head.

When the bell rung to signal the end of the day, Rose and I walked out together. I walked over to Emmett's car with her and we leant against it as we spoke to him.

Jasper went straight to swim practice, so we didn't see him. I bit my lip. If everything went okay with Lauren tonight, then the next time I saw him would be on Sunday. And he'd be single. I felt my stomach curl with anticipation.

'We should all go to the movies on Sunday night.' Emmett said with a grin. 'That new Mission Impossible just came out and it looks awesome.'

'Oh yeah that does look good!' I said interestedly. 'I'm game.'

'Same.' Rose said, smiling at Emmett.

Embry and Paul walked up to us. 'Hey.' I said to Paul with a smile, he just nodded at me.

I bit back a sigh.

'How do you feel about the movies on Sunday?' Rose said to them, 'Emmett was just saying the new Mission Impossible is out.'

'Tom Cruise is so fucking hot.' She said to me.

I laughed, 'I don't know, he's good looking, but, doesn't really do it for me.'

Rose looked at me aghast.

'He's not as hot as me though Rosie.' Emmett said, winking at her.

She rolled her eyes.

'Yeah sounds good.' Embry said, grinning. 'I love the Mission Impossible's.' He put on a weird accent, 'This is your mission, should you choose to accept it.'

We all laughed.

'Yeah should be good.' Paul said, grinning at Emmett.

'Hey Paul.' Someone called. I turned to look as Irina walked up to us.

_Oh god._

He smiled at her flirtatiously, 'Hey, Irina.'

She smiled back, flashing her white teeth and reaching out to touch his arm. 'Did you catch what Mr. Banner said the homework was, I completely spaced out.'

I watched her hand linger on his arm.

A weird feeling flipped through my stomach and I frowned, confused.

Paul looked at me for a second before he turned back to Irina.

'I think it was something about white blood cells.' He said to her, flashing a wide smile.

'Oh right!' She said, moving closer to him, 'Something about antigons right?'

'I think you mean antigens.' I corrected. Paul raised an eyebrow at me, and Irina bristled.

'Whatever.' She said to me coolly. Her voice went flirty again as she turned back to Paul, fluttering her eyelashes. 'Anyway, I was wondering if you were free later, maybe you want to help me, you know, with the homework?' She squeezed his arm gently.

I watched her hand on his arm. I had a strong urge to walk over there and shove it off, but I didn't get why. It was probably the tired thing, and you know, the fact I couldn't have sex with him anymore. That's all it was.

He laughed softly, smirking at her, 'I would love to.'

I'd be surprised if he could have sex tonight. He was exhausted. So was I. I don't think I could have sex again today, or tomorrow, not even if Jasper was naked in front of me.

I thought about Jasper's naked body and bit my lip, well, probably not anyway.

Paul smiled gently at Irina. 'I just can't tonight, I'm really sorry.'

I bit back a smile. Ha, take that Irina. He can't fuck you because his body is still covered in scratches from my nails when he fucked me earlier.

She bit her lip, 'Oh.'

'How about Sunday?' He said, shooting her a seductive smile.

I swallowed.

She grinned, 'Okay. Maybe I can come over?' She said coyly, crossing her hand underneath her chest to make her boobs pop up.

Paul obliged, looking down at them.

'Aw, I wish, but I can't have anyone over.' He said, pouting playfully.

I bit my lip. So Rose was right. He didn't normally let girls come over.

She simpered, 'That's okay, we can go to mine.' She leant in to whisper something in his ear and he laughed, winking at her.

'Can't wait.'

She gave one last lingering touch on his arm and then walked off.

'She seems nice.' I said sweetly. 'Not the brightest bulb, but we can't have everything.'

Embry laughed and Rose raised an eyebrow at me.

'Why don't you bring her to the movie?' Rose said to Paul.

Paul looked at her with an odd expression then shrugged.

'Maybe.'

'Yeah.' I said, 'You should bring Elena, I'm sure she'd like that.'

'It's Irina.' Paul corrected, looking at me. 'And yeah, I think I will.'

I shrugged, 'Whatever. I've got to go. I'm going to be late for work. Have a good weekend guys! See you tomorrow Rose.'

She hugged me. I turned to Emmett to hug him as well, then Embry.

I paused in front of Paul, unsure what to do.

Normally I'd hug him, hell, normally I'd kiss him goodbye. But I felt weird about it, after his behaviour earlier.

'Bye.' I said, frowning.

He sighed, wrapping me up in a brief hug, his face pressing into my hair and breathing softly.

'See you Sunday.' He murmured.

'Yeah.' I replied softly, before walking over to my car.

**X**

'Hello Sunshine.'

I turned around from the Jeep I was bent over. Royce was standing there with a smirk.

Oh god, save me.

'Hi.' I said, turning back to the car. He came to stand next to me and peered at the engine.

'Supposed to be nice weather this weekend.' He commented.

'Uh-huh.' I said nonchalantly.

'What cha' up to?' He said in a weird voice. I turned to look at him with a frown. It was obvious what I was doing, I had a machine plugged into the battery. Was he mocking me? I stifled a laugh when I realised he was trying to sound flirty.

'Checking the battery.' I said, willing him to go away. Royce had been sidling up to chat to me a fair bit. At first, he seemed quite pleasant, and I didn't mind, but he was starting to annoy me. I was definitely not in the mood to talk with him today.

'Not right now silly,' He said, smirking at me, 'This weekend.'

'Oh.' I said awkwardly.

He leaned closer and I moved away from him slightly.

'So, are you free?' He said, squinting his eyes at me a little.

_Was he trying to smoulder?_

'What's wrong with your eyes?' I asked in a worried tone, hoping it would make him stop.

He immediately stopped squinting them, 'Oh, nothing.' He said laughing slightly, 'Just had something in my eye.'

I tried not to laugh. 'Uh-huh.'

'We should go out together, this weekend.' He said, winking at me.

I raised my eyebrow at him.

'I can't.' I said, putting my hand on my hip.

'Why, you got a boyfriend?' He said, smirking.

'No.' I replied.

'Come on Bella, it'll be fun.' He grinned, 'I'll show you a good time.'

I rolled my eyes. 'No, thank you for asking, but no.'

Royce frowned, 'Aw Bella, come on, give me one good reason why not?'

He was really starting to piss me off now.

'How about because I don't want to?' I said, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

He frowned.

_Okay Bella, maybe that was a little harsh of you._

I bit my lip awkwardly.

'Whatever.' He scoffed. 'You're not that hot.'

I raised an eyebrow at him, and he stalked off.

'Oh, but I am.' I said to myself, amused.

'There's that arrogance again.' Mason said, making me jump.

I turned back to the car and saw him leaning on the boot.

'Did you witness that whole thing?' I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

He chuckled, 'Abso-fucking-lutely.'

I glared at him, 'You could have saved me, at any time.'

He smirked, 'Why would I do that?'

I huffed. 'I don't know Mason, because it's nice.'

He came closer to me, his vibrant emerald eyes locking in on mine.

'Yeah well.' He moved in so he was standing directly in front of me. My breathing hitched as I looked up into his eyes. 'I'm not nice.'

'Clearly.' I said breathily, feeling my heart hammer in my chest at his proximity.

He looked down at me. He was so close, and he smelt so good. His green eyes were smouldering into mine. The electric hum that always sparked between us grew and I felt desire swirl through my body, gathering between my legs.

He stepped back and walked off. Well, glad to see he was in a good mood.

I shook off the haze and turned back to the car. I looked at the machine I had plugged into the battery and sighed. It was dead. Which meant I needed to replace it.

I walked to the far wall where we kept spare parts but we didn't have any in stock, I was going to have to order some. I walked over to Carlisle's office.

Mason was on his knees in front of his bike, messing with the lights. He looked up at me as I passed, with that arrogant smirk on his face he always wore. I stuck my tongue out at him playfully and a genuine smile crossed his face for a second before the mask was back.

Carlisle was on the phone as I walked in, but the desk at the back was free so I jumped on it. Other than Carlisle's desk, we could use any of them and Jared was on the other one. I waved at him and he winked.

'Are you kidding?...So you're saying that there's no parts being delivered till Monday? Okay well that means you need to have all the parts delivered by Monday morning.' Carlisle was saying in a frustrated voice. 'I understand that.' He sighed, writing something in a notebook. 'No, Monday afternoon won't work.'

I logged into the computer and typed in the code for the battery I needed. There was a new one that would arrive on Tuesday. Perfect. I ordered it, then brought up the software Carlisle had us use to keep track of orders and add items onto the bills for customers. I added the battery and service charge onto the bill for the Jeep.

I was just closing the computer down when Carlisle appeared at my desk.

'How's everything going Bella?' Carlisle said kindly.

I smiled up at him. He really was a ridiculously attractive man.

'It's going great, thank you.' I grinned.

'You're a fast learner. Garett's told me you've been doing a great job.' He praised, smiling at me.

I beamed, 'Thank you. And thank you again for the opportunity, I love it here.'

'You're welcome Bella.' He said kindly, running his hand through his blonde hair. I bit my lip. He was too old, and definitely not my type, but damn. 'While I've got you here, there's still some forms to sign, and I need your account details so I can pay you.' He said with a grin.

I beamed at him. 'Sure.' The money couldn't come in quick enough. I was lucky that Renee had had a good job when we moved here, I'd saved most of my initial allowance that she gave me, but it was almost gone. Two months after we left Charlie, she started deteriorating and a few months later, ended up losing her job. She got another one, but the money stopped after that. Now, I got nothing from her. Phil occasionally gave me money for petrol I guess.

I signed the forms then said bye, telling him to have a good weekend. I walked out the office, coming to stand in front of Mason.

'Right, Jeep is done for now, let's brainstorm about the Audi.' I said, crossing my arms.

He looked up at me and raised an eyebrow. 'I can figure out the Audi by myself.'

I huffed, 'Jesus Mason, what is your problem? Why won't you just work with me?'

He stood up with a scowl, 'Because, I don't like you.'

'Why?' I said frustrated, 'I haven't done anything to you.'

His emerald eyes were alight with anger as they stared into mine, 'Haven't you?'

I frowned confused. 'What do you mean?'

'Forget it.' He said roughly, 'Fine, let's brainstorm the fucking Audi, then you can go off and do something else.'

'I don't get you.' I said irritated, 'One minute you're talking to me and flirting, the next minute your acting like I spit in your coffee.'

He shrugged. 'Deal with it.'

I glared at him. 'You are so annoying!'

'Right back at you.' He snapped.

_Ugh. I hate him._

I stormed off, standing next to the Audi. We'd checked everything. The battery, the alternator, the carburettor. What were we missing? I felt Mason appear behind me as the familiar electricity went through me. I ignored it. I was pissed at him.

I paced back and forth, trying to think of something. Mason was looking intently at the car too, his brow furrowed. We continued for half an hour until I had a sudden thought.

'What about the air control valve.' I said to myself slowly. 'It's the one thing we haven't checked, and if it's not right…the car would be getting too much or too little oxygen when we start.'

'What did you just say?' Mason said confused, 'I can't hear you when you mutter.'

'Oh my god.' I exclaimed, almost jumping up and down.

'What?' Mason exclaimed frustratedly.

'I figured it out!' I said gleefully. 'It's the air control valve.'

Mason just stared at me.

I danced around in a circle, 'Oh my god, we got it, we got it!' I turned to Mason with a wide smile and jumped into his arms to give him a hug in my excitement. He wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my hair. The hug felt so good, I wrapped my arms around him tighter. He smelt amazing. Electricity ran through my body. He was so solid, and strong. I exhaled against his neck and felt him shiver, his arms wrapping around me tighter. I felt completely relaxed, and comfortable in his arms. Too comfortable…like I'd hugged him a hundred times.

I frowned. Why did being in his arms feel so familiar?

I pulled back, looking at him with wide eyes. Why did I recognise him so much?

'Mason.' I said softly.

_Do we know each other?_

He pushed me off him and looked at me, eyes filled with emotion. 'I have to go.' He said roughly.

'Oh.' I said confused.

He started to walk away then paused, his green eyes locking to mine, 'Good job Bella.' He said, 'I-' he frowned shaking his head. 'Bye.'

'Bye.' I replied softly.

I watched as he walked up to Garett. He said something, pointing at me and Garett frowned, saying something to him. Mason shrugged and Garett clapped him on the shoulder. He carried on, walking to his motorcycle.

My eyes widened. There was a girl standing next to it. She had short spiky hair and blue eyes and was quite short, only coming up to his chest, and she was_ really_ pretty. She embraced him as he reached her, and he returned the hug. She looked at me and our eyes locked briefly before I looked away, pretending to take interest in whatever Susan was doing to my left.

I heard the rumble of the bike and looked back over at him. His green eyes flashed to mine as the girl sat behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. And then, he was gone.

_Who the fuck was she?_

Garett walked over to me.

'Hey! Mason said you thought it was the air control valve.'

I grinned, 'I _know_ it's the air control valve.'

Garett laughed, 'Okay, well. If it is, what's next Bella?'

I thought about it for a moment before answering.

Garett smiled at my answer. 'Okay. You okay to stay a bit later and do it? Mason said this was all you, so, finish it up and it's your fix.'

_That would have been extremely nice of him, except he hated my guts and couldn't bear to spend time with me. Oh well, fuck him. I figured it out!_

A wide smile stretched across my face. 'Okay.' I said with a grin, popping the hood.

An hour later the Audi was working fine. I was fucking ecstatic.

Garett gave me a high five when the car purred to life and I essentially jumped for joy.

Whilst I was working on the car I was thinking about Mason. Something about him was so familiar, and he basically admitted that we know each other. So… I just had to remember.

_Was he a hook up? No way. I'd definitely remember that. But what if I was really, really drunk? There are definitely blank spots in my memory when I've blacked out. But that can't be it, can it? This is so weird. I'm almost sure I've never seen him before. I'd definitely remember someone that fucking attractive. But then why does he seem familiar? His smile, his laugh, his hug. It doesn't make any sense. And who was that girl that got onto his bike? His girlfriend? His friend? Someone he was fucking?_

'Garett,' I said curiously as I shut the hood. He raised his eyebrow at me. 'Who was that girl, that got onto Mason's bike?'

Garett shrugged. 'That's for Mason to talk about, not me Bells.'

I pouted and he shook his head laughing. 'Ask him! It's not my place.'

I sighed. I couldn't blame him, he had a point, I just wanted to know. Maybe I should just ask Mason how we knew each other. I didn't think he'd tell me, but it was worth a shot.

'Okay Bells, get out of here.' Garett said with a smile. 'You did really well for your first week. Take this weekend off, and I'll see you Monday.'

'Really?' I said, biting my lip. I wanted the weekend off, but I also kind of wanted to come back. Not just because I loved working at the garage, but because I wanted to see Mason again. He was addictive, even though he was so hot and cold. I wanted to be around him.

'Yeah!' Garett grinned, 'You deserve it. Plus, it's probably going to be quiet. The parts that were supposed to arrive today aren't coming until Monday, so we can't take many walk ins over the weekend. Mason and I can handle things.'

'Okay.' I said, smiling at him. 'Thanks Gar.' Weekend off. Well, I guess that meant I would have more time with Rose tomorrow, and then Sunday…I would be able to spend all day with Jasper before the movie, if he was free anyway.

My stomach jolted with excitement.

I climbed into my car and looked at my phone. I had a few messages.

One from Rose.

_Hey, should we go to Sephora tomorrow too? I really need a new mascara. Also, I'm driving, your car is shit._

I didn't want her to pick me up. Shit. I replied,

_Sure, I've been given the weekend off, so we can go earlier in the day now if you want? Fuck off, my car is iconic!_

She replied straight away,

_Whatever you say ;) Yes perfect! Come over for 11?_

I smiled in relief. Rose was so perceptive sometimes. She must have remembered my reaction when she suggested picking me up for Victoria's party.

_Can't wait!_

I also had a text from Jasper.

_Hey beautiful, just spoke to Lauren. Give me a call when you finish work. Hope it's going well._

I smiled. I'd call him when I got to the flat.

Renee and Phil were on the sofa when I walked in. They looked like they were having an intense discussion but they stopped talking as I stepped through the door. I looked at them curiously.

'Am I interrupting something?' I asked, dumping my keys on the counter.

'No.' Phil said, looking at Renee and then back at me.

'Okay.' I said, opening the fridge.

'There's some leftover Bolognese.' Phil said, getting up from the sofa.

'Um, thanks.' I said as he took out the Tupperware.

I filled a pan with water and put it on to boil.

Phil ran his hand through his hair awkwardly. 'Um Bella, you know, I'm not…I haven't got any kids, and I don't know how this works, but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to tell us if you're not gonna come home for two days.' He held up his hands, 'I know, I'm not your dad, and I don't have any control over you, or what you do but, you should tell us. Renee was worried.'

I sighed, pouring pasta into the pan. I turned to look at him. 'Phil, she probably didn't even know I was gone.'

The expression on his face told me I'd hit the nail on the head with that one and I laughed to myself.

'Look, I'm fine okay. I can handle myself. Don't sweat it.'

Phil cleared his throat awkwardly. 'Just you know, check in with your mom if you're not coming home.'

Annoyance curled through me and I bit back an angry retort.

_I have a fucking phone. If she was worried, she could have texted me, called me, anything._

'Yeah, okay, whatever.' I lied.

Did he really think she cared? I knew she didn't.

He smiled at me and walked out of the kitchen. When the pasta was ready, I microwaved the sauce and took my bowl of pasta to my room. After I'd finished, I sat on the bed, cross legged and called Jasper.

He answered straight away, 'Hey darlin'.'

I smiled at the sound of his voice, 'Hey Jas.'

I heard a crashing sound and a throaty, 'Fuck!'

I laughed softly, 'Are you okay?'

'Sorry darlin', I'm trying to put a wash on, and I can't fuckin' figure it out.'

I laughed, 'Are your parents still away?'

'They get back Monday.' He said, sounding relieved. I chuckled.

'Let me coach you through it.' I said, still laughing. 'What colour are you washing?'

'Colour?' Jas said sounding worried, 'There's a mix of colours, do you need to do them separately.'

I laughed, 'No, I mean, you can, but it's okay, just make sure you wash it at a low temperature. Have you put them in the machine?'

I heard a rustling sound and then a click. 'Yep. They're in there. What next darlin'?'

'Okay, so there should be a drawer thing.'

'Oh, I think I see it.' He said.

'Open it and pour the detergent into the bit that says 1.' I instructed.

There was some more crashing around.

'Done.' Jasper said enthusiastically. 'Is that it? How do I turn it on?'

I rolled my eyes, 'Put it on a standard wash, there might be a dial or it's a button. Just make sure the temp is low.'

There was a beeping sound and then I heard a rush of water as the machine turned on.

Jasper sighed in relief. 'Oh, thank fuck for that.'

I laughed, 'Jas, how the fuck do you not know how to put a wash on? Don't your parents make you help out around the house.'

He groaned, 'Yeah, but my mom always handles the washing.'

I giggled.

'Hang on baby, just going upstairs.' Jasper said.

My heart skipped a beat. Well… apparently, I like it when Jasper calls me baby. I realised I hadn't even asked him about the breakup.

'Shit Jas, how did it go with Lauren?' I said.

He sighed into the phone, 'It was pretty bad. She freaked out, like she always does. But… I held my ground. And her dad helped. He was actually really nice about the whole thing. He said he appreciated the effort I put in, spendin' time with them both and being supportive and shit and that he was glad I spoke to him first.' I heard a thump, assumingly Jasper lying on his bed. 'I explained that I still wanted to be there for her, as a friend you know, but she said she didn't want me to come over again. She said she hated me and that I was a horrible person.' He sighed again, 'It's gonna be hard in school for a while.'

I bit my lip. 'That sounds awful Jas. Are you okay?'

He was silent for a bit and I frowned, 'Sorry darlin', yeah I'm okay, I mean I feel fuckin' relieved. But I feel guilty for feelin' that way, you know?'

I could imagine. 'Yeah, I know.' I said gently.

He cleared his throat, 'Sorry beautiful, I haven't even asked you how work went! Was it okay?'

I grinned, 'It was amazing. So basically, Garett, that's my boss, he had me and my partner Mason trying to figure out what was wrong with this Audi he brought in…'

I finished telling him about the car, excitedly. 'So it was the air control valve! And then Garett let me complete the repair, and now she works good as new!'

Jasper laughed, 'You are so fucking cute. That's amazing, good job darlin'.'

I smiled widely. 'It was really awesome.'

'So you think you know Mason from somewhere?'

'Yeah.' I said with a sigh, 'I don't know, I recognise him, but I don't have a clue how.'

'Did you ask him?' Jasper questioned.

'No.' I said, 'He felt familiar before, but it's only today that I had that moment of like, wow, I've definitely met you before. I will ask him. It's just…' I sighed, 'Mason's kind of hostile, and however I know him, it seems like he's pissed about it so, I don't know if he'll tell me.'

'Huh.' Jasper said, 'That sounds really weird. Hopefully he tells you. I wonder what you did.'

I sighed, 'Yeah.' I bit my lip.

I lay back on the bed.

'So, Sunday.' Jasper said conspiratorially. I smiled.

'Yeah?' I said, grinning to myself.

'I was going to ask you to dinner, but Paul called me and said we were all going to Mission Impossible. So, can I take you to lunch?'

I raised my eyebrows. Lunch? Like a date?

Jasper laughed at my silence, 'Don't freak out darlin', it's just lunch.'

Fuck, I mean, I wanted to go out to lunch with Jasper. I actually really wanted to, but that was kind of new territory.

'So it's not a date?' I asked him, biting my lip.

Jasper chuckled, 'Would it be so bad if it was?'

Well, the thing with that is…

'I don't, um, I haven't really been-'

'You haven't been on a date before?' Jasper asked, sounding shocked.

I bit my lip harder, 'Um, no.'

I mean, generally it was just all about sex. That's all I let it be about. And sure, I'd been asked. I'd been asked a lot, but I never wanted to get attached to anyone.

In school in Forks, I was ostracised because of Tanya, and I kind of had a reputation. So, the guys in my year just wanted to fuck me. That's why I couldn't tell Edward that I liked him, because he didn't know, and if he did…he wouldn't have wanted me. Tanya didn't do dating, so neither did I. We got asked a lot when we went out together but she always said no, so I copied her.

When I moved to Texas, I was so hurt by Edward, and Tanya, and Charlie. I just, didn't want to let anyone get close. Jake wanted to take me out, but I never let him.

Jasper was stunned into silence. 'You don't date.' He said softly.

'I don't date.' I repeated.

'Can I-' He paused, 'That is, I really want- Darlin', can I take you on a date?'

I bit my lip. 'What, would that mean exactly?' Did he understand that I didn't want to be in a relationship?

Jasper laughed softly, 'It means, you and I will go out somewhere together and have a nice time. I know you don't want to be exclusive, and that you don't want to be in a relationship right now.' He sighed, 'I mean fuck, I'm just coming out of what's been a long and fucking stressful relationship. I'm not ready either. I just want to get to know you better.'

I sighed, 'Jas-'

'Bella.' He said gently, 'I don't want to just fuck you. I mean.' He laughed lightly, 'God, I really want to fuck you, but I also want to hang out with you. Let me take you out.'

I bit my lip. 'Okay.' I found myself saying.

'Okay?' He said excitedly. I rolled my eyes with a smile.

'Okay.' I agreed.

He laughed lightly, 'So I'll be your first date. I'll have to make sure it's a good one.'

What do you even do on a date? I mean, sure I'd read about it, I'd seen it on TV, but was that actually what it was like?

I swallowed, 'What do-'

He figured out what I was going to say and cut me off, 'On Sunday, I'll come pick you up and I'll take you out to lunch. We can talk about random shit like what our spirit animals are, maybe some more serious shit if it comes up. We'll leave, I'll sneak in a kiss, maybe feel you up a little.' He laughed, 'And that's it.'

I laughed, 'Spirit animals?'

Jasper chuckled, 'You better google what that is because I want to know.'

I smiled. The only thing issue was I didn't want him to come here to pick me up.

'Jas, is it cool if I meet you at yours?' I asked, biting my lip.

'Sure darlin'.' He said straight away.

'And Jas.' I said, smiling widely.

'Yeah?'

I bit my lip, 'I fucking hope you do more than just feel me up.'

He chuckled naughtily and I shivered.

'Believe me baby, I'm going to struggle to keep my hands off you.' He said huskily. Anticipation rocked through me and I felt an ache between my legs.

I moaned softly. Jasper let in a sharp intake of breath.

'Fuck darlin', I'm going to hang up now, because if I don't, I'm going to start something, and I'd rather just wait till Sunday.'

I swallowed heavily, 'Okay Jas.'

'Goodnight beautiful.' He said softly.

'Night Jas.' I echoed.

**A/N**

**OMG. Things are moving along. Do you think Bella is going to realise who Mason is? Or will he tell her? I hope you like all my character's because I kind of love them all. **

**Just a head's up, I've outlined this story and it's going to be about 30 chapters. I know exactly what's going to happen and it's gonna be good ;) So stick with me. **

**Please review after you read, I want to hear what you think, even if you hate it!**

**For those asking about how Bella doesn't recognise Edward, a lot can change between the age of 16-18, especially with guys. Her Edward was thin, just a bit taller than her, with greasy hair still, braces and he was innocent and young. This Edward is tall, muscled, experienced man and a completely different person. Also, in her head Edward is back in Forks. It makes no sense for him to be in Texas and so it wouldn't even occur to her.**

**If anyone finishes this and is looking for a new story, I recommend _The Orbiting Meteor,_ by IdreamofEddy. It's Peter x Bella and I really enjoyed it! Maybe I'll tackle Peter x Bella next and do a Vampire Fanfic instead of All Human. Anyway it's a great fic, so well written and the plot is great! It's not quite finished but it's complete enough that you can really enjoy it :D You can find it in my favourites! I also recommend anything by GeezerWench if you're craving a J/B fix. _I Live_, is a personal favourite, it's not finished but there's a lot of chapters to read!**

**Sending love, **

**Creaatingmadness xxx**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:**

**I'm so sorry for missing last weeks update guys. This chapter kept needing to be rewritten and things are very crazy right now I've been so busy! Anyway, it's done! Going to probably update fortnightly now. I'm hoping to update the new story Irresistible every other week, so if you're reading that, you should see something new from me on a weekly basis! If you haven't checked it out, it's an all vampire fic, with Bella/Peter. Jasper fans will especially love it I think.**

**When you're reading, w****hen you get to the mention of the song Oblivion by Bastille, listen to it while you read. I did while I was writing and it captures Bella's feelings pretty well :) - Plus it's such a great song I love it - If you want, follow it up with Nightcall by London Grammar. **

**Also, thank you so so much to my reviewers, you make me so happy. A special thank you to WhatAreThesFeels for the lovely review. PM me so I can thank you properly, and answer you :***

**I can't believe there's almost a hundred of you following this story. **

**Hope you enjoy :D**

**Don't forget to R&R **

**xo**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

'I'm so tired.' I whinged to Rose as we walked out of Victoria's Secret. I didn't buy anything, but she'd picked up three new underwear sets.

We'd been shopping for 4 hours and I was swiftly reaching my limit.

Rose laughed at me, 'Stop bitching. We'll go for a coffee now, then we've just got one more shop to go into.'

It had actually been a successful trip. I'd bought myself two new dresses and a new pair of denim shorts, plus a new bikini. I'd also picked up a new eyeliner in Sephora. Rose had 7 shopping bags. She'd gone fucking crazy.

We took the escalator to the bottom level of the mall. It was completely packed, children running around everywhere and screaming. I stifled a grimace as a particularly exuberant child ran past us. Rose laughed at me.

'Aw he was sweet.' She said, smiling. I rolled my eyes.

'Sweet? They're tiny demons.' I retorted, making a face.

She laughed, 'Don't be such a grump.'

'You like kids huh?' I said to her, looking at her smiling expression.

She shrugged, 'Who doesn't.'

I raised my eyebrow at her. 'Me.'

She snorted.

We sat down at a table and Rose went up to get us a coffee each.

I was so tired. Even though I'd slept for like 14 hours last night. After my call with Jasper I'd basically passed out. I didn't even dream, I was that tired. I guess the week of no sleep was catching up with me.

Phil had already left when I got up this morning. I'd made something to eat and put a wash on, Renee was useless at all that crap, and frankly so was Phil, the only one who ever did any washing was me, though he sent his stuff to the dry cleaners pretty regularly. When I left the house for Rose's Renee was still in bed. I checked on her before I left, and she was sleeping.

I expected she'd be drunk by the time I got back later. I sighed.

Rosalie came back to the table, holding a tray with two cappuccinos.

'You are the love of my life.' I told her, taking the coffee with a grin.

She rolled her eyes, 'You'd say that to anyone who brought you coffee. You're such an addict.'

I smiled sweetly at her, 'Nope, you're just special.'

She snorted. 'If you're trying to sweet talk your way out of going home after this, it's not going to work. We have to go to Forever Twenty-One.'

I grimaced and Rose sighed, 'Bella I fucking guarantee you'll find something cute in there, seriously.'

'Whatever.' I pouted. 'What are you doing later?' I asked her curiously.

She shrugged. 'Something with Emmett probably. What about you?'

'No clue. I'm kind of bummed I'm not at the garage to be honest.'

'How's that going anyway?' Rose said, sipping her coffee. 'You haven't really spoken about it much. Is that Mason guy still being a dick?'

I shrugged, 'He is, and he isn't. I haven't even told you! I'm pretty sure I know him from somewhere.'

Rose frowned, 'Huh? How?'

'I have no clue.' I sighed. 'He's so fucking hot.'

Rose snorted, 'Yeah you've mentioned.'

'No seriously.' I bit my lip, 'He's like…okay, you know those Abercrombie and Fitch models, that look like Greek Gods?' She nodded. 'He seriously looks like that. He's got this amazing fucking hair, and these bright green eyes and he's so ripped and just ugh. Plus, he's a complete ass which only makes him hotter.' I sighed again.

Rose rolled her eyes.

'He's definitely familiar though. When I was hugging him, it was the strangest thing, I felt so comfortable, like I'd been there before, you know?' I told her, taking a gulp of coffee. It was so good. 'And his laugh, even his eyes, there's something there, definitely.'

'Did he go to Wheatley maybe?'

I shook my head, 'No. He would have been at the top of my list, I'd remember him.'

She drummed her fingers, a thoughtful expression on her face. 'Maybe you know him from when he was younger? Like someone you went to primary school with or something? Did you know anyone called Mason back then?'

I frowned. 'No.' I replied, thinking it over. 'Definitely not, but I guess he could have known me, and I didn't know him.' I sighed, 'He's acting like I did something terrible to him though, so that doesn't make sense.' Something about what she said was niggling at me.

'Why don't you just ask him?' Rose said curiously.

I sighed, 'That's what Jasper said. It just doesn't seem like he would tell me.'

She shrugged.

'How's your mom?' I asked, changing the subject.

Rose groaned. 'Oh god. Fucking awful as usual. My dad is zero help too, doesn't say a fucking thing, just sits there. I love him, I do, but I wish he'd fucking stand up to her, you know?'

I nod.

'How about yours?' Rose asked carefully.

'Fine.' I replied automatically.

Rose just smiled, knowing not to press. It's why I liked her so fucking much. Not once had she asked me about what Renee did, or about my dad. I really appreciated it.

After we'd finished our coffees we headed back to the shops. We stopped in front of Forever Twenty-One and I sighed, following Rose in. Despite my attitude, 20 minutes later I'd actually found three cute potential outfits and we made our way to the changing rooms to try the stuff we'd picked up on.

As I was slipping off my blue dress, Rose's phone started ringing.

She answered. 'Hey baby…yeah Bella and I are in Forever Twenty One…Ha, no I didn't get anything for you…Because babe, you never like anything I pick out…No…Stop it.' She giggled.

I rolled my eyes. The denim skirt I had on looked good. It was stretchy and really fitted, accentuating my ass and finishing just above my knee. It was high waisted, starting just below my belly button. I'd picked up a black, sleeveless turtleneck crop to go with it.

'Yeah, we're almost finished.' Rose was saying to Emmett. 'Bella?' She called.

'Yeah.' I replied, hanging the skirt and top back up and putting on the red dress I'd picked up.

'Are you cool to go meet Emmett after this?'

'Sure.' I said with a smile.

'Awesome.' She exclaimed, 'Yeah Emmett, she says that's fine…We'll be over in half an hour…Yeah…Okay…Bye…I love you too.'

I liked this dress too. It was more of a club kind of vibe. I hadn't been in ages, but I did have fake ID. I didn't really need the dress. But I was working hard, so.

You know what, I'm going to get it.

I looked at the other item I'd picked up, a black maxi dress. It was really cute, but I didn't need it. I'd rather get the dress and the skirt and top.

'I'm finished.' I said to Rose, slipping back into my blue dress.

'Do you like what you picked up?' Rose said.

'Yes!' I exclaimed, 'Did you?'

'Uh-huh. I'm not getting this shirt though, I like it, but I have one that's similar already.'

We paid for our stuff and walked out the mall, heading to Rose's car.

'What are we gonna do at Emmett's?' I asked her, as she switched on the engine.

'Just chill.' She said, looking directly in front of her. I frowned. She was being a bit shifty.

She turned on the radio and we sat in comfortable silence. I yawned.

My phone vibrated with a text.

**Hey beautiful, hope you're having a good time with Rose. Did you get anything nice? Can't wait to see you tomorrow x**

I smiled.

_**It was fun, but I've definitely reached my quota on shopping. I did actually! Got a few new pieces and a new bikini. How's your day going? Me too :) x**_

'Jasper?' Rose asked me with an eyebrow raised.

I turned to look at her, 'How did you know?'

She rolled her eyes, 'Because you have a gigantic smile on your face.'

'No, I don't.' I said obstinately.

She laughed, 'Yes you fucking do. What are you guys doing tomorrow anyway?'

I winked at her and she fake gagged. I shook my head. 'Well, we're going out to lunch.'

'Lunch?' Rose said, surprised. 'I mean, I figured he would ask you out, but I didn't think you'd go.'

'It's just lunch.' I defended, biting my lip.

She shrugged. 'How are things with Paul?'

I sighed, 'What do you mean?'

Her icy blue eyes locked with mine, 'Well, when Irina was all over him yesterday you looked like you wanted to kill her, and you called her the wrong name on purpose.'

'You noticed that?' I said sheepishly.

She just gave me a pointed look. 'I also noticed you two were acting weird. What gives?'

I sighed, leaning back into my seat. 'It's just gonna be kind of hard. We were having a lot of fun, and now it has to stop.'

Rose frowned, 'Well, it doesn't _have_ to stop. Only if you want Jasper.'

_But I do want Jasper._

'Yeah.' I said, twisting my mouth to the side, 'But I do, that's the problem. Anyway, I'm not acting weird. Paul is. We were fine yesterday morning and then when we met up at lunch, he was all distant and moody.'

Rose made a strange expression and I looked at her confused. 'What was that look about?'

'What look?' She said innocently.

I narrowed my eyes at her. 'You know the look. Spill. Right fucking now.'

She shook her head. 'There was no look.'

'Rose.' I said irritated.

'Bella.' She replied icily.

'You're such a bitch.' I said grumpily.

She laughed. 'Don't forget it.'

My phone vibrated with Jasper's reply.

**A new bikini…sounds intriguing, I'd love to see it ;) I had swim practice this morning for 3 hours, now I'm just trying to make the house look presentable for when my parents come home on Monday. It's pretty boring. Can I call you later? x**

_**Maybe you will ;) Wow, that sounds intense. Oh, how's that working out for you? Did the washing turn out okay? :P Yeah sure, Rose and I are going to Emmett's for a bit, but I'll call you when I get home. x**_

When we pulled up to the house Rose turned off the car and paused, looking at me.

'So, don't hate me.'

My eyes narrowed, 'What did you do?'

'Well, Paul's here, with Emmett.' She said dryly.

'What?' I snapped, 'Rose, you should have told me. I wouldn't have come.'

'That's exactly why I didn't.' She replied, arching a brow at me, 'You two need to get your heads out your asses. You're good friends, and that doesn't need to be thrown away just because you're not fucking anymore, okay?'

'Bitch.' I muttered under my breath as we got out the car.

'You love me.' Rose said with a grin.

She walked straight through the front door and I traipsed in behind her.

'Em?' She called as we walked into the kitchen.

A few seconds later Emmett bounded into the kitchen, picking Rose up, spinning her around and then kissing her passionately. I watched them with an amused smile.

He turned to me. 'Hey Bella.'

'Hey Emmy.' I said grinning at him.

He held out his arms, 'Want some lovin'?'

'Always.' I said laughing as I walked into his hug.

'You just missed my mom! She'll be back soon.' Emmett said with a smile. 'I think she'll really like you.'

Oh no, more parents. Rose noticed my unease and laughed. 'Don't worry, Emmett's mom is amazing, you'll love her. She's nothing like mine…'

_Or yours._

It hung in the air. Unsaid but still present, reflecting in Rose's eyes. She just knew. Even though I'd told her nothing, even though she didn't actually know. I just smiled and nodded.

We walked into the lounge together. Paul was sitting facing the TV, a controller in his hand.

I felt my stomach clench when I saw him. His hair was falling in his eyes and he was wearing a green V-neck T-shirt and some black shorts. He looked fucking gorgeous.

'Hey Rose.' He said, without looking, his face intent on the game. There was a loud celebration noise on the TV and he grinned widely.

'Fuck you Em, I beat your score easily.'

He turned to look at us and his smile vanished as he laid eyes on me.

'What are you doing here?' He said frowning at me. I ignored the strange sensation in my chest.

_Oh, charming._

'Rose and I were shopping.' I said awkwardly. Paul just looked at me.

Emmett broke the awkward moment by throwing himself down on the sofa next to Paul. 'You beat me by 5 fucking points man, that's luck.'

'Where's the bathroom?' I said to Rose.

She shot me an apologetic look. 'It's upstairs, first door on the right.'

**X**

The bathroom was nice, bright yellow walls and marble. I placed my hands on the sink. Why were things so awkward with Paul? I didn't think it was going to be like this. A wave of irritation washed through me. This was completely his fault. We were fine yesterday morning and then he just had to go and make everything so…ugh. I didn't understand what had happened.

Even just now, he looked like seeing me was a fucking hardship. We were supposed to be friends and yet he didn't smile at me, or even say hi.

When I walked out the room. Paul was standing on the landing.

I paused, looking at him. I didn't really know what to say.

He ran a hand through his hair, his brown eyes intense as they looked at me.

'Bella.' He said softly.

'What?' I said irritated. 'You want to actually say hi to me now?'

He frowned, 'It's not like that.'

'It's not like what?' I questioned him angrily, 'You've been in a terrible mood since lunch yesterday and I have no idea what I did.'

'I just don't- I don't know how to do this.' He said frustratedly.

'Do what?' I said confused, walking closer to him.

I stopped directly in front of him. He looked at me, his brown eyes focusing on mine, I felt my stomach flip.

'Bella.' He said softly, his eyes swirling with emotion.

'Yeah?' I said, biting my lip.

'Bella.' He repeated huskily. Then he was kissing me. My phone clattered to the floor. I gasped into his mouth, then responded eagerly, wrapping my arms around his neck. He sighed into my mouth as my tongue ran along his lip, opening his mouth and sliding his tongue to meet mine. He felt so good.

'Not here.' He said quietly against my mouth, pulling me back into the bathroom. As soon as we were inside, he pushed me against the door, his hands running down my sides, spreading heat through my body. I moaned into his mouth, tangling my fingers in his hair. The kiss grew more intense, his lips moving fiercely against mine as his tongue flicked into my mouth. It sent desire spiralling through my body and I arched my back into him in pleasure. I moaned as his hands drifted lower, running across my lower stomach.

'Shh, we have to be quiet.' Paul said against my mouth. I nodded, biting my lip to stop from making a sound as he grabbed my ass. He was hard and pressing against my hip. He moved his mouth to my neck as he pressed his thigh between my legs, pressing right against where I was so desperate for him.

'God Bella, you're so fucking hot.' He said in a strangled voice, kissing my neck.

I could feel the heat of him through the thin material of my thong and I whimpered, moving myself over his leg, seeking friction for the ache between my legs. He pressed his thigh into me harder, rubbing himself against my hip as his lips captured mine again. I moaned. It felt so fucking good. I wanted him, just like always. His hand slid underneath my dress and I threw my head back in pleasure, biting my lip to keep silent. His fingers brushed against my clit and I shivered in pleasure.

'I'm guessing you're still sore.' Paul said huskily.

I nodded. I was. Probably too sore to have sex anyway.

'Let me kiss it better then.' He said, winking at me as he got to his knees.

I had to bite my lip hard to stop from moaning out loud.

_Fuck._

He pulled my underwear down my legs and hiked my dress up around my waist, revealing my lacy black thong. I shivered as his hot breath washed over my centre. He looked up at me and my eyes almost rolled back into my head. He was so fucking sexy. He kissed my thighs, his brown eyes still locked on mine and then ran his tongue over my hip bone.

'Fuck.' I whispered, biting my lip harder. Paul smirked at me and then lifted one of my legs up and over his shoulder. I grabbed the door behind me to balance myself. He blew softly against my core and I arched my back, my hips bucking towards him.

He laughed softly, running a finger down my slit.

'Mmm, what do you want me to do?' He said quietly, eyes flicking up to mine.

I swallowed heavily. 'I want you to kiss me.'

'Kiss you?' He said huskily. He kissed my hip, 'Like this?'

I bit my lip, 'No.'

'Hmm, how about this?' He placed an open-mouthed kiss against my clit, and I whimpered as he pulled back.

'Don't stop.' I said, pouting.

'You said you wanted a kiss.' He said, smirking slightly.

'You know what I want.'

His eyes were dark with lust as he looked up at me. 'Tell me.' I shivered as he placed another kiss against my clit. 'Tell me what you want baby.'

I met his eyes boldly, 'I want you to lick my pussy.'

Paul gave me a wicked grin and then pressed his mouth against me, flicking his tongue against my clit.

'Oh _fuck_.' I gasped. I had to put my fist in my mouth to keep quiet.

My other hand slid into his hair, gripping tightly as he licked me. The back of my head hit the door, and my eyes rolled back into my head.

'Oh my god, don't stop.' I panted, tightening my hand in his hair. He knew exactly what to do to send me over the edge and it wasn't long before I was slamming my head into the door with a whimper as my body shook with my orgasm.

Paul wiped his mouth with a grin and stood up in front of me. His lips met mine, slower now, but still full of need. I grabbed him by the T-shirt and spun us around, so his back was on the door. He gasped in shock and I smirked at him. I kissed my way down his neck and got to my knees in front of him.

He looked down on me, his eyes dark. 'Fuck.' He muttered.

I undid his belt while I kissed his stomach, lifting his T-shirt so I had access to his toned stomach. He growled under his breath as I teasingly ran my tongue along the V between his hips. I undid his belt and pulled down the zipper, pulling him out of his jeans.

He groaned quietly and I raised my eyebrow at him. 'Shh.' I said, winking. He bit his lip, shaking his head at me. I decided to tease him back seeing as he'd teased me before. I licked my way down his hips, carefully avoiding his length. He made a frustrated noise and I laughed quietly, looking up at him through my eyelashes.

He growled at me and I smirked, leaning my head to the side as I ran my tongue over his balls playfully. His fingers tangled in my hair and his mouth parted in pleasure. He looked so fucking sexy, I had to force myself to keep teasing him.

'Tell me what you want baby?' I repeated his words from earlier, biting my lip as I looked up at him. He groaned under his breath and then a wicked smile crossed his face.

'I want you to suck my cock.' A jolt of lust went through my stomach hearing his words and I moaned softly. He was looking down at me, his brown eyes full of lust and need. 'Please baby.' He pleaded, bucking his hips slightly. I smirked at him.

'Okay.' I said smiling, then I took him into my mouth.

'Oh fuck, _yes_.' Paul said under his breath, tightening the hand in my hair. I grabbed his balls with my other hand and tugged gently. His eyes rolled back into his head, 'Fuck yeah, just like that.' His hand in my hair gently guided my mouth over him and I placed my hands on his legs, letting him fuck my mouth. His mouth was open slightly, and his eyes were heavy as he looked down at me. He looked so fucking sexy.

Like Paul, I knew exactly what he needed to come and when he did, I gripped his hips, swallowing what he gave me.

'Fuck.' He said roughly, helping me up. He kissed me gently and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Even when the kiss finished, he didn't let me go, keeping his arms around me as he rested his chin on my head. I tucked my head into his neck and breathed him in. He ran his hand down my back and I snuggled into him, sighing. He kissed my head gently.

I suddenly thought about Jasper and guilt washed over me, making me tense a little in Paul's arms.

Sure, Jasper and I hadn't even met up since he ended it with Lauren, and he did know about me and Paul, but I'd agreed to go out with him tomorrow. And even though we weren't going to be exclusive, or be in a relationship, the expectation was, as soon as he broke up with her, Paul and I would stop.

Clearly, we weren't doing a very good job of that so far.

Paul felt me tense and sighed, pulling away from me. He looked at me, eyes troubled.

I bit my lip. 'We shouldn't have done that.'

Paul looked at me incredulously. 'Seriously?'

I frowned, 'Yesterday was supposed to be the last time, that's what we decided.'

'That's what _you_ decided, you mean.' He said angrily. 'You know what, it doesn't matter, this was a mistake.' He moved to open the door, but I stopped him.

'Paul, wait.' I said frustratedly. 'It wasn't a mistake.' I pulled him towards me and kissed him softly, he kissed me back intensely for a moment, his hand in my hair, before he pulled away from me, shaking his head.

A weird expression crossed his face and when he looked up at me, his eyes were unreadable. 'It _was_ a mistake Bella. Tomorrow you and Jasper are probably going to fuck, and I'm going to fuck Irina, and this whole thing can just be over.'

I glared at him, 'You're going to fuck Irina?' The thought of him with her made me feel sick.

He laughed sharply, 'Yeah, does that bother you Bella?'

I frowned, 'No.' I lied.

He shook his head at me. 'Look, we had fun, but that's all this was.'

_Right, all this was._

I swallowed heavily, 'Well, yeah but we're also friends.'

He looked at me blankly, 'We were never really friends.'

I felt my stomach plummet and there was a lump in my throat. 'Fine.' I said, my voice sounding rough.

His expression softened and he went to say something else, but I stormed out of the bathroom before he could open his mouth. I picked my phone up off the landing with a huff.

I walked into the lounge where Rose and Emmett were.

'Rose, can you take me back to yours so I can get my car please.' I said, swallowing back my hurt feelings. I didn't want to feel this.

She looked at me sharply then nodded. 'Sure. Em, I'll be back in half an hour.'

'Sorry guys.' I apologised, feeling terrible. I looked at Emmett, 'I'm sorry I won't get to meet your mom.'

He hugged me, 'Don't worry bellybean, you can meet her another time! We'll see you tomorrow.' He said, giving me a big squeeze.

I felt my eyes start to well up and I had to pull away from him. I swallowed them back successfully.

'See you tomorrow Em.' I said, forcing myself to smile at him. He nodded, but the expression on his face said he saw right through me.

We got in the car and I stared out the window. Rose looked at me for a moment before turning the car on and the radio up. She didn't say anything to me. When we pulled up at her house, she grabbed my hand gently.

'Talk to me when you're ready.' She said softly, then let go. I locked eyes with her for a moment and then nodded.

'Thank you for the ride, and for the shopping, I had a really good time.' I said, smiling at her.

She just nodded, turning the car back on. 'See you later B.' She said, smiling at me softly. 

**X  
**

I drove around for a while, not sure what to do with myself. I ended up at a nature reserve. The driveway was pretty obscured, so I wasn't really sure what it was going to be like, but when I got to the bottom there were several cars in the parking lot. It was only 3pm so it was still really warm, I didn't need a jacket. I got out my car, locking the door and throwing on my aviators. I wandered through the gate. The reserve seemed pretty big.

There was a big sign with a map on it but I didn't bother looking, I'd rather wander my way through. I headed through the park, placing my headphones in my ears and clicking shuffle on my favourite playlist. I lit a cigarette, breathing in the nicotine. Oblivion by Bastille started playing as I started walking.

I walked for about fifteen minutes, stopping when I came across a lake. It was a wide expanse of water. The sun was reflecting on it and ducks were playing in the water. It was deserted, most people were hanging by the carpark in the children's playground. There was an old set of swings and a roundabout here, but it didn't look like any of it worked anymore. The swings were rusty and didn't move well but I sat down on one anyway, smoking and listening to the music.

I sighed, thinking of Paul. I don't know why it reminded me of him, it just did.

I felt so confused. I know Paul didn't mean what he said. We _were_ friends. I knew things about him that even Jasper and Rose didn't know. I just didn't get why he said it. Maybe he decided that he didn't want to be friends anymore? Maybe he felt like I knew too much and wanted to push me away. That option kind of made sense, I mean I did that all the time too. But…it didn't feel like that was it.

We were just having fun yeah, but it was more than that too. He made me feel…good. Not just the sex, but all of it. I smiled softly thinking of him standing in the kitchen with a pen in his mouth. I didn't want to lose the friendship, but he seemed determined to do just that. I guess I just had to hope he'd come around.

My stomach twisted as I thought about what he said about Irina. I didn't get it. I shouldn't have a problem with it. Maybe it's just because she was rude to me.

_Yeah, that's what it is._

I just don't like _her_. If it was anyone else, it would be fine. That's the only reason I didn't want Paul to fuck her.

I looked out at the water with another sigh. I was surprised there wasn't anyone else sitting here, it was really chilled. There wasn't even anyone smoking weed. Maybe people didn't really know about it. Plus, I guess it wasn't beautiful in an obvious way, it was kind of unkept and the grass was too long, the water was murky and the stupid swings didn't work. But I think that's what made it beautiful. It was wild, untamed, free. Kind of like me.

Like Paul too. As a person, he was so complex. I think I have a small idea of what he's like but…I don't think anyone truly knows him. A lot of things that he does, he doesn't do for reasons you'd expect. But I liked that about him.

I finished my cigarette and lit another one immediately.

Paul and I, we were the same, like we were both ice. Jasper was like…fire, he was this overwhelming presence that lit me up from within. The sexual chemistry with Jasper was like nothing I'd ever felt in my life. When he touched me, it was like I was starving for him, his touch overwhelmed to the point that I didn't even know how to breathe. As much as I wanted him, the intensity I felt with him terrified me.

In an ideal situation, I wouldn't have to choose between them, but because of their friendship I did. On the surface it was easy, I wanted Jasper more. On a deeper level though…

Paul kind of just, got me. We had great sexual chemistry too, definitely the best sex I'd had so far. I had a lot of fun just being around him. And I definitely didn't want to not be able to hang out with him at his house now, even if I was with Jasper. But, how was it going to work? Today had shown me that I couldn't really be around him without wanting sex. I guess, that's what we're used to though. We just had to adapt to the new conditions of our friendship. If we even still had one.

It had been so hot in the bathroom with him…so hot. He knew exactly how to touch me, and it felt so fucking good. I sighed, that had to be the last time though. Once I saw Jasper tomorrow, I couldn't even kiss Paul, it would be too complicated.

My phone vibrated in my hand and I opened the message.

**I look forward to it darlin ;) Lol, the washing did turn out okay, thank you for the help ;) I've finished cleaning now so I'm just chilling. Embry is coming over at 6, so if you're not back before then I'll call you when he leaves. How's Emmett's? x**

I pondered how to reply to him. How do I explain the fact I only stayed at Emmett's for half an hour. I don't think I want to talk to Jasper right now either. I don't really want to talk to anyone.

My phone vibrated again, and I looked down at it. It was from Paul.

**I'm sorry.**

I sighed. I don't know how to reply to that.

_**I know.**_

My phone flashes with his reply before I even put it down.

**I miss you.**

Fuck. I put my head in my hands. I missed him too, we normally talked everyday and even thought we'd hooked up earlier, we didn't really talk. I typed my response, pondering over the send button a while before clicking it.

_**I miss you too.**_

He didn't reply.

I sat in the swing for a while, letting my mind run free while I stared at the ducks in the lake.

As the sun started to set, I got up, walking back to my car. I needed to pick up some cigarettes on the way home, I was running low.

I bought 3 packets just in case I don't have time to go back during the week. I was kind of dreading going home.

I walked in the door, mentally preparing for a nightmare. To my surprise, Renee greeted me exuberantly, pulling me into a hug. I returned the hug extremely shocked.

'Hi.' I said, my eyes wide. She smiled at me. I ran my eyes over her face curiously, she looked kind of…high. Her pupils were really dilated, and she seemed kind of, giddy?

'Did you take something?' I asked her with a frown.

'No.' She said laughing. 'What would I take?'

'I don't know.' I said shrugging.

'Oh my gosh, let's have pancakes for dinner!' Renee said excitedly. 'Come on, sit down, tell me about your day!' I sat down at the table and she ran into the kitchen.

'Where were you today?' She asked me, coming back to the table with a mixing bowl, flour, eggs and milk.

'Um, I went shopping, with someone from school.' I said, watching her curiously. She hadn't been like this in a while, not since the other day when she made Phil and I breakfast. I figured that was because of him, but…maybe it wasn't.

'What did you get?' She said grinning, 'You should give me a mini fashion show.'

I found myself smiling back, 'Okay.' I said laughing. She stood up, the pancake mix, ready.

'Go put on the first outfit, I'll start making the pancakes.' She bent down and kissed my head, 'I love you.'

She walked into the kitchen humming and I stared at her retreating form. What the fuck was going on with her? She was never like this? But…I bit my lip. It was really nice. She actually seemed to care for once. I was pretty sure she was on some kind of drug, maybe speed. But… it didn't matter. I was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

I walked into the room with my bags and tried on the first outfit for her.

A few hours later we were lying on the sofa, full of pancakes and laughing together.

'Did I ever tell you about the time my friend Kathy and I changed the answering machine for Virgin Airlines?' She said giggling.

'No!' I said laughing, 'What did you do?'

She grinned, 'Well, Kathy guessed the code for the answering machine and it worked, we got through!' She laughed loudly, 'And then, we deleted their current message and changed it!'

'What did you say?' I said, smiling at her.

'I said, 'Hello, you've reached Virgin Airlines, if you are calling about being one of our Air Hostesses, there are a few criteria that need to be met before you can be considered. First of all, we only accept people who are at least 5, 11. You have to have big breasts, and you can't be over a size 6. If this sounds like it's you, please leave your details, if not, we're very sorry but you just won't be the right fit for us.' She burst into peals of laughter and I laughed with her.

'That's awesome.' Internally I sighed, why wasn't she like this more? Even when I was a kid, she wasn't carefree like this. Clearly she used to be a different person, fun and happy. Was it me? Am I the reason she's no longer happy?

'The best part.' She said, between laughs, 'Was that there was such a big fallout from it that it ended up in the paper!' She giggled, 'They were called sexist and despicable by the media!'

She wrapped her arm around me. 'I love you honey.' She said, kissing my forehead. 'I miss hanging out with you.'

_How can you miss something you've never done? _I wanted to say to her. But I don't want to ruin the moment.

'I love you too Mom.' I replied softly.

We hung out a while longer and then I made my excuses. I wanted to talk to Jasper before I went to bed. I showered, and then got into bed.

I texted Jasper once I was settled in the covers.

_**Hey, I'm sorry I didn't reply earlier, I've had a weird day. Is Embry still there? I'm free, if you still want to call?**_

My phone started ringing a few minutes later and I smiled.

'Hey.' I answered cheerfully.

'Hi darlin'.' Jasper replied, his husky southern drawl in my ear making me smile. 'You sound happy.' He said sweetly.

'I am.' I replied, biting my lip.

'That's good darlin'.'

'How was Embry?' I asked him.

He laughed, 'It was good, we just hung out. Paul actually came by too.'

Oh. 'Oh yeah?' I said, keeping my voice casual.

'Yeah.' Jasper said, 'He said he saw you at Emmett's earlier.'

'Yeah.' I said nervously. 'I didn't stay for long though. What did you guys get up to?'

My stomach clenches with guilt over my encounter with Paul in Emmett's bathroom. Did he tell Jasper? Was Jasper waiting for me to tell him?

'We just played some games, ordered a pizza. We smoked up too.' Jasper said, yawning.

I smiled, 'Are you high Jasper Whitlock?'

He laughed huskily and I bit my lip, he sounded so hot. 'A little.'

I found myself smiling. 'I'm jealous.'

'We can have some tomorrow if you want darlin'?' Jasper said, I heard rustling and the creaking of a bed. 'I have loads left.'

'Yeah.' I said with a grin. 'Sounds good. Are you in bed?'

Jasper laughed lightly, 'Yeah, are you?'

'Yeah.' I replied, biting my lip again.

'What are you wearing?' Jasper asked, his voice a little rough.

I smirked to myself, 'Well, do you want the sexy version, or the real version?' I said with a laugh.

Jasper laughed, 'Tell me the sexy version and then the real version.'

'Well, in the sexy version,' I said coyly, 'I'm wearing a lacy black bra, and the matching thong.'

Jasper chuckled naughtily, 'Hmm, and what are you actually wearing?'

I laughed, 'I'm actually wearing a pair of grey boyshorts, and nothing else.'

'Just the shorts?' Jasper said, his voice low.

'Uh huh.' I said laughing, 'Not exactly sexy.'

Jasper made a noise in his throat, 'I beg to fuckin' differ.'

I raised my eyebrows, 'Oh?'

Jasper chuckled naughtily, 'Well now I'm imagining you topless in my bed.'

I bite my lip. 'Hmm, and what are we doing?'

Jasper groans softly, 'Bel-la.' It's a hot noise and my lower stomach tightens.

'Well?' I asked, my voice husky.

I hear Jasper's breathing pick up, 'Well, I'd start by kissing your hot little mouth and running my hands down your body.'

I pressed my thighs together as wetness gathered at the apex of my thighs. I swallowed heavily, my hand sliding down my stomach.

'Then what?' I said breathily.

Jasper groaned and the sound sent a jolt of desire through me. I sighed, my hand slipping into my underwear.

'Then I'd kiss my way down your neck.' Jasper said huskily, 'I'd slide my hands up your body and cup your breasts in my hands, rubbing my thumb over your nipples.'

I moaned at his words.

'Fuck.' Jasper said roughly, 'Bella, are you- _fuck,_ are you touching yourself.'

'Yeah.' I said breathily.

'Oh fuck.' Jasper groaned, 'That's so fuckin' hot baby, ugh.'

'What would you do next?' I asked him, biting my lip.

'Mmm.' He groaned, and I heard a shifting sound on the bed. I thought about him touching himself and shivered in desire. 'I'd continue kissing down your neck and I'd make my way lower, kissing over your chest, and then I'd take your nipple into my mouth.'

'Fuck.' I said roughly. 'Then what?'

Jasper groaned and I could hear him jacking off. It was so fucking hot, I moaned.

'I'd do the same to your other nipple, and then my hands would slide down your stomach.' He groaned, 'Then I'd slide my hand into your fuckin' panties, are you wet for me baby?'

'I'm so wet.' I replied truthfully.

'Fuck.' Jasper gasped, 'Then I'd slide my fingers inside you.'

'How many?' I asked breathlessly.

'Oh fuck.' Jasper groaned, 'Um, two. _Fuck_, Bella the sounds your making are driving me crazy.'

I moaned at his words. I was so turned on. I'd never done this before, but it was so hot.

'I'd kiss my way down your stomach, and I'd pull those panties off.' Jasper said roughly, 'Fuck, I want you so badly baby.'

I moaned, 'I want you too.'

'God, then I'd fucking put my mouth on you darlin', I'd run my tongue over your clit.' I gasped. 'Fuck, then I'd make you come, all over my tongue.'

'Jasper.' I moaned.

'Oh fuck, moan my name again Bella.' Jasper gasped into the phone, 'You sound so fuckin' hot.'

'Jas-per.' I repeated breathily.

'Oh god darlin', are you going to come for me?' Jasper said, his voice wretched. 'I'm so fuckin' hard for you, _fuck_.' I groaned

'Fuck, so close.' I panted.

'Ugh.' Jasper groaned, 'Me too. God I can't wait to fuck you darlin'.'

I moaned loudly at that, 'Mmm Jasper. I want you inside of me.' I said breathily.

'Fuck, Bella.' Jasper gasped. 'Oh god baby, come for me, please.'

I moaned, I was right on the edge.

'Imagine me on top of you fucking you.' He said huskily, 'God I'd be fucking you so hard Bella, I want to make you fuckin' scream for me. Do you know how often I've touched myself thinking about fucking you? I come so hard every time darlin'.' He groans, 'I think about how good it's going to feel, sliding my cock into your tight pussy.'

'Oh my god I'm gonna come.' I gasped loudly, moaning his name as I came. Jasper groaned low in his throat.

'Oh,_ fuck_ Bella. You sound so fucking hot.' He grunted, 'I'm so fuckin' close.'

'Jasper.' I panted, 'I want you so fucking badly. I touch myself when I think about you too, I think about you fucking me,' Jasper groaned loudly, 'I think about your head between my legs, licking me.' I moan softly and Jasper gasps, 'I think about your cock in my mouth and swallowing your come.'

'Fuuuuck.' Jasper groaned loudly as he came. Such a fucking hot noise. It sounded so sexy. Now I'm horny all over again.

'Fuck.' Jasper laughed.

'Fuck.' I agreed, laughing with him.

'What do you do to me Bella?' He said chuckling. 'I can honestly say I've never done that before.

'Me neither.' I admitted. 'Did you like it?'

Jasper groaned, 'Jesus Bella, you heard how fuckin' much I liked it, I came so hard.'

I moaned softly. 'That's so hot.'

Jasper laughed, 'You drive me so fuckin' crazy. I want you so badly.'

'I want you too.' I replied, biting my lip.

'I can't wait to see you tomorrow.' Jasper said his voice rough.

'Me either.' I said, anticipation curling in my belly.

'I think we're meeting at the movies at like 5, so we can go straight from lunch.' Jasper said, yawning.

'Sounds good.' I said with a smile.

'Have you seen the trailer? It looks good!'

'Yeah, it does.' I agreed. 'I hope it's better than the last one, I didn't love it.'

'Which one do you like the best?' Jasper asked.

'Hmm, probably the second one.' I said grinning, 'I mean, they're all good, but the second one and that rock-climbing scene…so cool.'

'Oh yeah that is pretty cool, actually I think there's a rock-climbing scene in this one too, I swear I saw it in the trailer.' Jasper said. 'Do you like rock-climbing?'

'I've never tried.' I said, 'It looks cool though.'

'I'll take you. One of the places we go for swim competitions has a big climbing centre, it is really fun, but you need to have quite strong grip.'

I thought back to when I'd been changing the tyres with Mason. I was stronger than I thought, but I needed to get stronger, maybe rock climbing would help.

'Yeah that sounds really good.' I said grinning, 'I really want to get stronger, I struggle with stuff at the garage sometimes because I have like zero upper body strength.'

'Well rock-climbing would definitely help.' Jasper said.

'Yeah.' I replied, 'I need to get back into running.' I yawned, 'I used to go a lot, but I haven't been in a while. It's probably going to suck, I smoke too much.'

Jasper laughed, 'Yeah I feel you, I'm suffering a bit in swim practice, so I'm going to try to cut down.'

'I can't believe you have to get up so early for it.' I said, making a face.

'It's pretty shit.' Jasper said with a chuckle, 'Once you get in the water it's fine, it's just getting yourself out of bed and into your car at that time! I feel like I'm still asleep until I actually dive in.'

'Do you have competitions and stuff?' I asked curiously.

'Yeah.' Jasper said, yawning. 'I have a meet next month. I'm one of the top swimmers in the state so I have nationals coming up too.'

I grin, 'So I'm talking to an _athlete_.'

Jasper laughed, 'Sort of.'

I smiled, 'That's awesome Jas. I'll have to come watch you.'

'You'll come?' He said excitedly.

'Fuck yeah.' I stated, 'I want to see you win.'

Jasper laughed, 'I would love it if you came.'

I yawned again and Jasper copied me. We both laughed.

'Okay, let's go to bed. I'll see you at 12?' Jasper said sweetly.

'Yeah.' I said, smiling, 'Night Jasper.'

'Night beautiful.'

I hung the phone up and smiled widely.

* * *

**A/N: Oh Bella. You are so naive. :)**

**What do you guys think? As I said, I've outlined this story, but this chapter was not supposed to be written like this! Honestly, Bella and Paul in the bathroom and even the conversation with Jasper at the end were not planned! But these characters just do what they want at his point...**

**Fun fact: My mum actually did prank call an airplane (Not Virgin though) and changed their answering machine to something along the lines of what I wrote up there. So funny, and such a great story.**

**I keep forgetting that you guys don't know what's going to happen, it's all very exciting, I wonder if any of you will be surprised or if you've guessed :)**

**Just a reminder about Mason, because I've had some reviews asking how Bella doesn't recognise him. If you read my A/N in the previous chapter I explained it pretty well, but to reiterate that: A lot can change between the ages of 16-18, especially with guys. Edward back then...was a scrawny boy - glasses, braces, in the midst of all that puberty - now he's a man. It will be addressed in the story though so don't worry :) **

**Next chapter will be Bella and Jasper's date, and the movies :O Who's excited to read it? **

**Please leave me a review! I love them all, and I'll be replying to them :)**

**Now go check out Irresistible and tell me what you think ;) **

**lots of love, **

**Creaatingmadness xxxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: To make up for the less regular updates, here is a really long one ;) Plus it's a day early. Woo Hoo.**

**Hope you enjoy, **

**Please R&R, I'll love you forever :)**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

I put my hands on my knees breathing heavily.

_Fuck._

I was about 10 minutes into a run, and it was fucking awful. My lungs felt like they were on fire.

'This was a terrible idea.' I said out loud to myself, gasping. I stood up, placing my hands behind my head, trying to open up my chest.

I sighed. I was determined to do at least 20 minutes, so if I turned back now, that would be about right. A car driving past with some teenage boys in it beeped at me and I flipped them the bird. I changed the song on my phone to something more upbeat and started running again.

I had missed this. Feeling my feet beating against the floor, listening to good music…

Of course, in an ideal world I wouldn't be this fucking unfit, but I only had myself to blame, and of course my addiction to cancer sticks but hey, what can you do.

Just as I slowed to a stop at my front door, my phone started ringing. I bent over, my hands on my knees, wheezing. I straightened up to answer, still breathing heavily.

'Hello?' I hadn't even checked who was calling.

'Hey.' I heard Paul say.

_Oh._

'Um, hi.' I said awkwardly, still trying to catch my breath.

'Are you okay?' He said curiously, 'You sound really out of breath?' His voice dropped lower, 'Are you at Jasper's?'

'No.' I said hastily. 'I was running.'

'You were running?' Paul said, sounding confused.

'Yeah.'

He laughed lightly, 'Really?'

'I run.' I said grumpily.

'Okay.' He laughed. 'How far exactly did you run?'

'Um. Just under 2km.'

'Hmm.' Paul replied amused. 'Maybe you should go running with me.'

'Definitely not.' I said laughing, 'You're a fucking football player, I won't be able to keep up.'

'I'd slow down for you, a bit.' He teased. I huffed. 'Anyway.' His voice took a more sombre tone, 'I wanted to talk about yesterday.'

'Yeah?' I said, unlocking the door and walking into the kitchen. Renee was obviously still sleeping.

'I didn't mean it.' He said, his voice rough.

'I _know_.' I replied, holding the phone to my ear as I took water out the fridge.

'Oh.' He said softly.

I laughed gently, 'I know you better than you think I do.' I told him, gulping down some water. 'I don't know why you said it, but I do know you didn't mean it. Of-course we're fucking friends you dick.'

'Well, yeah.' He said awkwardly. 'You seemed upset.'

I sighed. 'Yeah well, you were kind of an asshole. Just because you didn't mean it doesn't mean it wasn't harsh.'

'I know, I'm sorry.' He said quietly.

'Can we just figure out a way to keep being friends?' I asked him, sitting on the kitchen counter. 'I really like being your friend.'

'Yeah. Me too.'

'And I still want to come over sometimes.' I said, biting my lip. 'Not for sex.' I added hastily and Paul laughed. 'Because you know, there's still so much of Transformers you haven't seen yet.'

Paul chuckled, 'Oh I see, you just want to use me as an excuse to feed your obsession.'

'It is not an obsession.' I defended.

'You have a T-shirt saying that's how I roll, with a picture of Optimus Prime on it.' I could hear the smile in his voice.

'Yeah, but that's because it's a cool T-shirt.' I spluttered.

Paul laughed. 'You are so cute.' I felt a weird skip in my stomach and frowned, biting my lip.

He cleared his throat, 'Anyway, um, so I'll see you later?'

'Are you really bringing Irina?' I asked him.

'Yeah.' He laughed, 'Are you going to call her Elena again?'

'Probably.' I said, smiling.

He laughed, muttering something under his breath.

'What?'

'Nothing.' He said cheekily.

'Hmm okay, see you later.'

'Bye gorgeous.' He hung up.

I walked to the bathroom to shower, a slight skip in my step.

Renee was singing in the kitchen when I came out. I smiled at her. This was so nice, if she was on drugs…I hoped she didn't stop. Did that make me a terrible daughter?

'Hi.' I greeted.

'Hey Bellarina.' She grinned. 'Did you sleep okay?'

'Uh huh.' I sat down at the table. 'You?'

'Definitely.' She said excitedly. 'Let's go on a trip!'

'A trip?' I was so confused.

'Yeah!' Her voice was full of excitement. 'We can go on a road trip, it'll be so much fun, just you and me, and the road!' She sat down in front of me. 'Bella we'd have the best time!'

'Uh, I can't mom, I have school.' Her eyes were so wide…it was kind of scary.

'Who cares!' She laughed, 'School, schmool. Let's go tomorrow!'

I found myself smiling. 'We can't.'

She reached out to tuck my hair behind my ear. It was such a motherly gesture. She hadn't done anything like that since before we left Forks.

'Sure we can.' She grinned, jumping up and spinning around in a circle. 'Come here and dance with me.' She laughed joyfully, pulling me up from the table.

'There's no music mom.' I said, frowning.

She frowned. 'Of course there is Bellarina. Can't you hear it?'

_Oh Jesus._

'Renee, what did you take?' I asked her, holding her hands to keep her still.

She pulled out of my grip with a laugh. 'Nothing.'

I sighed, 'Just tell me!'

She frowned, 'There's nothing to tell, I didn't take anything! I swear.'

I huffed. She clearly had. 'I have to go get ready.' I said, disappointment obvious in my voice.

'Okay.' Renée said lightly, going back to spinning around and dancing.

I headed to my room, shaking my head. Why was she lying?

**X**

'Hi.' I smiled widely as Jasper answered the door. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a grey T-shirt, his honey waves tucked behind his left ear. He looked fucking gorgeous.

'Hey darlin'.' He said with a grin. He looked me up and down with a smile, 'You look beautiful.'

I was wearing my new denim skirt that I'd bought with Rose yesterday, but I'd paired it with an off the shoulder white top and my white vans. Luckily the bite Paul had given me on my shoulder was now just a faded bruise. I hoped Jasper wouldn't even mention it.

I stepped into the door and immediately he wrapped me up in a hug, spinning me around lightly. I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck. He smelt so good.

He pulled back smiling and shut the door behind me. We stared at each other as the mood in the room suddenly changed, becoming charged with electricity.

We were alone. And he was single.

Lust flipped through me and I bit my lip. Jasper's eyes darkened.

'Fuck, Bella.' He said softly. I stepped towards him just as he stepped towards me and our mouths crashed together. I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck, tilting my head as I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth.

_Oh god, the taste of him._

He groaned low in his throat, walking me back and slamming me into the front door, his tongue slipping into my mouth.

I grabbed his hair roughly, biting at his mouth.

All the pent-up tension between us catapulted through me and I felt a surge of wetness build between my legs. All those moments, where I wanted him to touch me, and now he could.

'Jas-per.' I panted against his mouth. He groaned roughly, sliding his hands down my body and cupping my ass as his mouth moved to kiss my neck.

'You are so fuckin' beautiful.' He sighed into my neck. He kissed up my throat and captured my lips again, making me shiver with pleasure as his tongue stroked against mine. It felt so good. He slowed the kiss down, reaching his hand up between us to cup my cheek sweetly as he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth. I moaned and he gasped against my mouth. I could feel him hard and pressing against my thigh.

He pulled back, leaning his forehead against mine. I slid my hand down his chest and his stomach and he captured it in his hand before it could get lower, laughing lightly.

His eyes met mine, full of lust and amusement. 'If you do that, we won't make it to lunch.' He smirked.

I pouted. He leant in, kissing just below my ear. 'Later, I promise.' I smiled at him as he stepped back from me. 'Ready to go?'

'Yeah.' I said, biting my lip.

'I'm just going to grab my keys.' Jasper said, kissing my cheek. He walked into the kitchen and I smiled to myself.

Jasper drove a sleek black BMW and I visibly drooled as we approached it.

'Wow, this car is amazing.' I said excitedly, running a hand down the side.

Jasper smiled at me. 'It's pretty cool, yeah. I love it.'

I got into the passenger side and hummed as I had a look at the interior. I placed my bag at my feet and crossed my legs.

We chatted a bit on the drive, listening to some music. I kept looking at him and smiling, he was so fucking attractive. I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

He was looking at me too, sneaking glances in at lights and as he looked in the side mirror.

Once we'd parked Jasper turned to me and grinned, 'So, options for lunch, number one is Italian, number two is burgers, and number three is pizza, you pick.'

'Hmm.' I said, biting my lip. 'It's going to have to be burgers.' I grinned.

Jasper laughed, 'I was hopin' you'd say burgers. Have you been to Hopdoddy's before?'

'Nope.'

Jasper smirked, 'You're gonna love it.'

He jumped out the car and opened my door for me. I smiled, biting my lip. No one had ever been like this with me before.

He held out his hand to me, his blue eyes sparkling at mine. 'Let's go darlin'.'

Electricity jumped through my hand as I slipped it into his and we both jumped slightly.

I looked up at him and he was smiling at me. 'Do you feel that too?' I asked him curiously.

He grinned, 'Every time you touch me.'

There were a bunch of tables outside the restaurant with big red umbrella's and benches.

'Outside or inside?' Jasper asked me, smiling.

My heart fluttered a little as I looked at him. 'Inside?'

'Sure.'

The restaurant was fairly busy and there was a slight hum from all the multiple conversations. It was decorated stylishly with alternating black and white walls, and simple black tables. The bright red of the chairs contrastingly sharply, but not unattractively. We sat down at a table and I picked up my menu, sneakily peering at Jasper over the top.

'Hey guys, have you been here before?' The waiter asked, looking at me with a flirty smile.

He was kind of cute, but nowhere near as attractive as Jasper.

'I haven't.' I said, looking at Jasper. 'But Jas has.'

Jasper smirked at me before looking at the guy. 'Yeah I've been before, I can tell her how it works.'

I looked up at the guy as he cleared his throat. He flashed me another smile, 'Okay, well I'll come back and get your order in a bit. I'm Jamie, by the way.' His eyes dropped down my body. 'Let me know if you need anything.' He winked at me.

Jasper just smirked at me and I rolled my eyes at him. I reached my hand out and grabbed his hand.

'Yeah thanks.' I said, my eyes still on Jasper. Jasper stifled a laugh as Jamie walked off.

I shook my head at him laughing. I started to pull my hand back, but Jasper held on to it, stroking his thumb into my hand. A warm feeling swirled through my stomach at the sensation.

Jasper smiled, his eyes full of amusement, 'I don't blame him, you're beautiful.' I rolled my eyes and he shook his head, 'Seriously.'

His eyes were so intense as they stared into mine that I blushed. Jasper laughed, letting go of my hand.

'Did you do anything this morning?' He asked me, eyes flicking down to his menu. I gazed through the options, there was a standard cheeseburger that sounded pretty good.

'I actually went for a run.' I told him, placing my menu down in front of me.

Jasper looked up at me, raising his eyebrows. 'Really?'

I huffed. 'That's what Paul said too. Why is it so unbelievable that I run?'

Jasper laughed. 'Because, you smoke like a fuckin' chimney. To be fair, you said last night you wanted to get back into it, I just didn't expect you to start today. How did it go?'

'Terrible.' I sighed.

'So, you spoke to Paul earlier?' Jasper said, casually.

'Uh-huh.' I said, shrugging.

'What did you guys talk about?' Jasper asked, eyes still on his menu.

'Just, stuff.' I said, biting my lip. I felt really awkward for some reason. I frowned. 'Is that…okay?'

Jasper put down his menu, his blue eyes looking into mine curiously. 'Why wouldn't it be?'

'I don't know.' I replied, eyes dropping back down to the menu.

Jasper grabbed my hand and I looked up at him. He smiled gently at me. 'I know you guys are friends. I guess…hmm.' He paused, 'Paul cares about you, a lot.'

'I care about him too.' I said, unsure of where he was going with this.

Jasper nodded, 'I know. It's kind of...I don't know, when you first got here, I felt really attracted to you, and he did too, obviously.' He smirked at me. 'Look at you. But you know, I was with Lauren,' he sighed. 'And I shouldn't have been. I can see that so clearly now, I guess I was just…complacent? Anyway, when you two started sleeping together I felt.' He paused, his tongue running along his lip. 'Envious, not so much, jealous, because I didn't really know you yet, you know?'

I nodded.

'But then I got to know you…' Jasper said, his blue eyes locking onto mine, 'And I thought, shit. She's fuckin' incredible. And I had no right, to tell you not to sleep with him, because I wasn't single, and I could see you two were just messing around. But I could feel this…' He bit his lip, 'Bella, the way you make me feel…I've never _wanted_ someone so much in my life.'

I nodded. 'I feel the same way about you.'

Jasper smiled at me, 'I couldn't…stop myself from wanting you. I tried so hard to stay away… you have no idea. Even that first day with you…' His voice dropped lower, 'When you walked into me and you looked up at me with those big brown eyes, full of mischief and just fuck, I knew you were trouble, in the best fuckin' way.'

I smirked at him and he shook his head at me. 'But I wasn't single, and he was, and…God I'm struggling to get to the point here, I guess what I want to ask is, do you want me? Or do you still want him?'

Jasper looked down at the table.

'I want you more.' I told him truthfully. His eyes darted up to mine.

'You do?' He said, his expression cautious.

'Yeah.' I paused, 'I feel the same way Jas, I've never wanted anyone the way I want you.'

He smiled at me. I sighed, 'But Jas, Paul and I we're…' I struggled to find the words, 'We're close.'

'I know.' Jasper said softly. 'I spoke to him about you yesterday.'

My stomach twisted weirdly, 'What did you talk about?'

Jasper laughed lightly at me. 'Nothing bad Bella. I just wanted to ask him if he had feelings for you. I thought maybe he did, and if he did, it wouldn't have been fair for me to…' He smirked at me, 'Be with you.'

'What?' I said, my eyes wide. 'He doesn't! It wasn't like that.'

_Right?_

Jasper's eyes studied mine for a moment. 'I know, that's what he said. But he's been different with you, compared to the other girls he's been with, and I just thought…' He shrugged. 'Anyway, I was wrong.'

My heart was hammering in my chest and my stomach was churning but I didn't really know why.

'We're just friends.' I said to Jasper carefully. 'I mean, yeah, we were sleeping together, but that was just…part of the friendship I guess.'

'Is that what you want from me too?' Jasper asked me, his blue eyes studying mine.

I sighed. 'I don't know Jas. This…' I gestured to what we were doing, 'I'm officially out of my fucking comfort zone. I've never agreed to go on a date with anyone before, but I agreed to go on one with you. I don't-'

Jasper leant over the table and captured my lips in a light kiss. I sighed into his mouth. He pulled back smiling.

'It wasn't a trick question. I was just curious. I want…' He paused, his eyes searching mine, 'I want whatever you're okay with. Like I said yesterday, I'm not ready for anything right now either.' He bit his lip, 'We're not exclusive or anything, but…' He laughed lightly, 'If we are hooking up, I guess I want to know if you've slept with someone. I don't need to know who or where.' He frowned slightly, 'Though I mean, ideally it wouldn't be with someone I know. But…I would want to know. Is that cool?'

I searched his eyes for a moment. 'Yeah. I mean, same for you, if you hook up with someone.' I shrugged.

Jasper smiled at me. 'Okay.'

'I need a drink.' I said with a smirk.

Jasper laughed. 'Yep, me too.' He flipped his menu over, 'I think they do boozy milkshakes.'

We ordered, and it wasn't long before a large burger and milkshake with a shot of bourbon were sitting in front me. Thank god Jamie didn't ask us for ID.

'This looks so fucking good.' I said excitedly.

Jasper bit into a fry with a smile, 'It's amazing, wait till you try the burger.'

I bit my lip, 'This is going to be so messy.'

Jasper laughed, his blue eyes light with amusement as he sipped his milkshake.

'It's a pretty fucking good milkshake, not worth five dollars, but it's pretty fuckin' good.'

I smiled widely, 'Didn't take you for a Tarantino fan.'

'Pulp Fiction is a classic.' Jas smirked playfully.

'Without a fucking doubt.' I agreed, cutting my burger in half. 'Have you seen Reservoir Dogs?'

Jasper nodded, his mouth full of burger. I smiled, he looked so cute. He swallowed, 'Yep, but it's not my favourite, I kind of guessed what was going to happen straight away.'

I shrugged, 'I don't think he meant it to be a big curveball anyway. I think what's so great about Tarantino films is the monologues. You know, like in Reservoir dogs, that whole thing about tipping. He creates this awesome platform for actors to just…act. That's what he focuses on, the acting, to the point that as you're watching you kind of get absorbed into the character. You feel like you're sitting in front of them and they're talking to you. Not many directors can do that.'

Jasper laughed, ducking his head down slightly as he smiled.

'What?' I said laughing. He just shook his head at me.

'You never say what I expect you to.'

'Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?' I said, biting my lip.

Jasper smiled at me, his blue eyes sparkling at mine. 'It's a good thing. A really good thing.'

My heart jumped in my chest a little and I bit into my burger to stop the wide smile that spread across my face at his words.

'How's the food?' Jamie asked me, appearing beside us.

'Mmhm good.' I said, hiding a smile as Jasper stuck his tongue out at me.

'Anything else I can get you?' Jamie said, clearly looking down my top. Jasper cleared his throat and Jamie looked to him sheepishly.

'I think we're good man.' Jasper said, raising an eyebrow at him.

'Great.' Jamie flashed me another smile before he walked off.

I sipped my milkshake and Jasper rolled his eyes.

'I'm going to have to get used to that I guess.'

I raised my eyebrow at him, 'Used to what?'

He winked at me. 'People throwing themselves at you.'

I laughed, 'Jas, I think if it was a female waitress it would have been the other way around.' I grinned, 'Or, if he swung the other way.'

Jasper smiled, 'Maybe.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Definitely. If I was a waitress and I saw you, I'd probably accidentally tip a drink all over you just so I could touch you.'

Jasper laughed, 'I think they fire people for that darlin'.'

I bit my lip, 'Yeah. But it would be worth it.'

Jasper smirked, 'So what would happen after you'd tipped a drink all over me?'

I laughed, 'I'd apologise profusely, get some paper towels and bend over you to help dry you, conveniently placing my tits in your face.' Jasper laughed.

'Sounds fantastic.' He said cheekily, his eyes full of amusement.

We finished our burgers, chatting about school and movies some more.

'So, time to get to the deep stuff.' Jasper said seriously.

_Oh god._

'What is… your spirit animal?' He continued. I laughed and he winked at me.

'Well, I googled it.' I said, grinning at him, 'And did a quiz, and it said I'm a wolf.'

Jasper raised his eyebrows, 'Interesting.'

'What's yours?' I said curiously.

Jasper laughed, 'Well, I also did the quiz, but I don't know if I want to tell you…'

I raised my eyebrows, 'Well now you have to tell me.'

His blue eyes sparkled, 'It said I'm a… butterfly.'

'What?' I giggled.

Jasper shrugged, 'Apparently it means you're light, and playful, and that you tune into the emotional and spiritual.'

'Huh.' I said interestedly, 'I guess that makes sense, you're really perceptive.'

Jasper smiled, 'Maybe. What does the wolf mean?'

'Intelligence, appetite for freedom…' I looked down, 'Lack of trust.'

'Fair enough.' I looked up at him and he smiled at me. 'I kind of figured, about the trust thing with you.'

I bit my lip and his eyes dropped to my mouth before darting up to mine. Lust swirled through my stomach. I really wanted him.

He smirked at me, placing his hand on my thigh. I jumped slightly and then smiled back at him as he started rubbing circles into my skin. Each circle caused my lower stomach to clench a little tighter and I swallowed heavily.

'So, your parents are back tomorrow?' I said to him, finishing off my milkshake.

Jasper nodded, eating another fry. 'Yeah, they were in the Bahamas for two weeks.'

'Wow, that must have been nice.' I commented. I'd never been outside of America. Jesus, before we moved to Texas, I'd never even left Washington.

Jasper nodded, 'Yeah.' A strange look crossed his face and I searched his eyes curiously.

'Did you miss them?'

Jasper nodded. 'Yeah. Sure. As you know I'm fuckin' hopeless around the house.' He joked, smiling.

I smiled back. 'Do they go away a lot?'

Jasper shrugged, 'Yeah I guess, maybe they go three times a year just the two of them? We used to take family trips quite a lot but…' Pain flashed across his face, 'We don't anymore.' He looked down at the table sadly. His hand moved off my thigh.

_Oh. His brother…_

I thought about what to say. I wasn't very good at moments like this. I didn't even know what happened…All I knew was that there was a picture in his kitchen of him with a younger boy who looked a lot like him, and that Jasper was now an only child. I figured he'd tell me if he wanted to so, I decided to not say anything and just grab his hand. He looked up at me as my fingers tangled with his.

He smiled softly at me. 'Anyway, what about your parents?' I couldn't stop the grimace that crossed my face and recognition flashed in his eyes. 'Or…' he said smiling, 'We can talk about when you're going to come watch me swim?'

I smiled relieved. 'Well would it be at 5am?' I joked.

Jasper laughed, 'Luckily no. My next big meet is in 3 weeks, it's the first one of the season, so it's a friendly, but they'll probably be scouts.'

I raised my eyebrows, 'That's exciting.'

He grinned, 'Yeah! I'm really hoping for a scholarship.'

We spoke about colleges a little and then music. I tried to steer the conversation away from me as much as I could. Jasper let me, but I noticed him studying me, his blue eyes intense as they looked into mine. I felt kind of vulnerable under his gaze.

Jamie appeared to clear our plates and Jasper asked him for the bill.

'Are we going straight to the movies?' I asked him, yawning.

'Yeah.' He said smiling. 'We can hang out at mine after though?'

I smirked at him, raising my eyebrows and he laughed lightly.

'Sounds good to me.' I said coyly.

Jamie walked over to us with the bill and smiled at me. 'So, did you enjoy the food?' He handed the bill to Jasper without even looking at him. Jasper smirked at me.

'Yeah it was really good. Thank you.' I said, smiling reflexively. Jamie's smile widened and I sighed.

Jasper rolled his eyes.

Jamie placed a napkin in front of me with his number written on it with a wink. He leant down towards me, 'For when you finish up with pretty boy and you're ready for a real man.' He whispered.

I grimaced as he walked off.

I held out my hand for the bill. Jasper shook his head.

'I got this.'

I sighed, 'Jas, please let me pay half.'

He studied me for a second, 'Bella, it was my idea to go out, I've got it.'

I bit my lip, 'Please, Jas?'

He thought about it for a moment, 'How about, I pay for lunch, and you pay for the movies? Deal?'

'Okay.' I said smiling.

He paid and I purposefully left the napkin with Jamie's number on the table. As we stood up, Jasper tugged me to him gently and kissed me. It was a slow kiss, but it was still hot as fuck. I sighed into his mouth, gasping as his tongue teased my lips. He pulled back and smirked at me, before looking at Jamie with a wink.

_Hmm, jealous Jasper is hot._

Once we got outside, I got out two cigarettes and lit the first one, handing it to Jasper, before taking my own into my mouth.

'Thank you darlin'.' He smirked at me, the cigarette dangling from his lips. He looked so fucking sexy. He grabbed my hand and I smiled at him, taking my cig into my left hand as we walked to the car.

We paused outside the car and I leant against the passenger door. Jasper leant next to me. I watched him take the cigarette to his mouth with rapt attention, biting my lip. He looked so _good_. His eyes flicked down to my mouth, they were a stormy blue.

'So, was it as scary as you thought it'd be?' He said, nudging me with a smirk.

I bit my lip with a smile, 'No. It was actually nice.'

Jasper kissed the side of my head, leaning closer to me.

He bent to kiss my ear, 'Do you want to drive the car to the movies?'

I gasped, turning to him excitedly, 'Seriously?'

Jasper laughed, 'Yeah. I saw how excited you looked when you got in. I don't mind, I trust you.'

I almost jumped up and down with excitement. 'Okay.'

He grinned, 'You're so fuckin' cute.'

He threw his cig on the floor stamping on it and I copied him. He stepped in front of me, tucking my hair behind my ear.

I smiled up at him.

'I had a lot of fun darlin'.' He said sweetly. He kissed my cheek and I grinned.

'Me too.'

I wrapped my arms around his neck, smiling softly at him. He stepped closer and I kissed him gently, my fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. Jasper smiled against my mouth, kissing me back. His tongue gently licked at my bottom lip and suddenly the kiss wasn't so gentle anymore. It was full of desire and longing. I gasped into his mouth, tangling my fingers into his hair as he slid his tongue into my mouth. I copied him, tilting my head to the side to kiss him more deeply. Jasper groaned, stepping closer to me and pressing me into the side of the car.

His hands flitted down my sides and I shivered, moaning into his mouth as he gripped my ass.

'Hell yeah.' Someone catcalled. Jasper pulled back from me laughing.

I smiled sheepishly. 'Whoops.'

Jasper licked his lips and my eyes dropped to them. I bit my lip and Jasper groaned softly, his thumb tugging my bottom lip away from my teeth.

'Stop that.' He said, his voice husky. 'Drives me fuckin' crazy.'

I looked up at him, my eyes hooded with lust, 'Maybe I want you to drive you crazy.'

His blue eyes were stormy as they looked into mine and I swallowed heavily.

'God, do we have to go to the movie?' He said, his voice rough with lust.

I smirked leaning in and placing a kiss right next to his mouth, 'I promised Emmett I'd go, so yes. But, after…' I swiped my tongue along his lower lip, and he gasped, grabbing my head and kissing me fiercely.

I moaned into his mouth and I felt him smile against my lips. He pulled back, 'Okay, but if I feel you up during the movie…'

I grinned. 'Maybe I'll feel you up first.'

Jasper held out the keys to me with a cheeky smile. 'Let's go vixen.'

I grabbed them excitedly, almost jumping up and down as I climbed into the driver's seat.

The car drove so fucking smoothly. I was yammering on to Jasper about the gear shift capabilities and he just looked at me, amused. Half-way through the journey his hand crept to my thigh, slipping under my skirt and teasing me with gentle caresses. I shivered at his touch and his blue eyes met mine, dark and full of mischief. I forced myself to keep concentrating.

It took us a while to find a parking space when we got to the movies. I hadn't been there before, so Jasper had to direct me to the car park.

We got out the car and I called Rose.

'Hey.' I greeted as I heard the phone pick up.

'Hey, where are you?' Rose asked.

'Just arrived in the car park, are you there already?'

'Yep, Emmett, Embry and I are inside, see you in a sec.'

'Okay.' I replied, hanging up.

We got out the car and I handed Jasper the keys with a grin.

'Thank you for letting me drive. It was so good.' I gushed. He grabbed my wrist gently and pulled me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

'I like watching you drive.' He said cheekily. I knew what he meant, he looked so sexy when he was driving. I stared up into his blue eyes and felt my stomach flip with lust. His eyes darkened in response to what they saw in mine and he bent his head to kiss me.

I moaned into his mouth, he tasted so fucking good, all the time.

He pulled back with a smirk. 'Ready?'

_Nope._

I pulled his mouth back to mine for another kiss and he laughed against my lips. He pulled back, a genuine smile on his face.

I stared up at him, with a silly grin. He was so fucking hot.

I pulled myself from his arms and he sighed. I raised an eyebrow enquiringly and he shook his head, 'I can't really touch you in public around here, just in case Lauren or any of her friends are around. Everyone tends to go here.' He said sadly. 'We did just break up, and even though I'm fine, she isn't, so…'

I smiled at him, 'It's cool Jas.' I smirked, 'But inside the actual movie is okay right?'

He laughed, 'Definitely.'

When we walked through the doors I waved to Rose, Emmett and Embry. I hugged Rose first and Jasper gripped Embry's forearm and they did a kind of bro hug, slapping each other on the back. Rose returned my hug tightly, her blue eyes scrutinising me sharply, as I pulled back. She smiled.

'How you doing bellybean?' Emmett asked me sweetly, pulling me into his arms.

'Good, thanks Em.' I grinned. 'Sorry again for yesterday.'

'All good.' Emmett smiled at me. He turned to Jasper, 'How's it going man?'

I turned to Embry, giving him a big hug. He smiled widely at me.

'Have you guys been here long?' I asked Embry.

'Nah, we just got here.' He said shrugging. 'Just waiting for Paul as usual.' He rolled his eyes.

'We got the tickets, they were 10 dollars each.' Emmett said to us, waving them in his hand.

I grabbed my purse out my bag and pulled out a twenty, handing it to Emmett.

'For me and Jas.' I said. Jasper grinned at me.

Emmett handed me two tickets with a waggle of his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes at him, handing Jasper his ticket.

Electricity flicked between us as my hand touched his and I smiled at him.

When I saw Paul my body kind of jumped. He was walking up to us, wearing a dark pair of jeans and a blue T-shirt. I felt the usual stirrings of lust at his appearance. He looked fucking hot. My eyes flicked to his left. Irina was walking next to him, a cocky smile on her face. She was wearing an extremely tight red top which her boobs were practically falling out of, and a pair of short shorts, revealing her long legs.

The outfit was revealing yeah, but…she looked really good. I bit back a grimace.

'Hi guys.' He said to us with a grin. He greeted Emmett first, smacking him on the back and pulling him into a hug. I watched with a smile.

'Hi.' Irina said to us, pointedly avoiding looking at me.

'Hey Irina, how are you?' Embry asked her. She smiled at him gratefully.

Paul turned from Rose to me. 'Hey.' His eyes flicked down my body quickly before settling on my eyes. He stepped towards me and I copied him, wrapping my arms around his neck in a hug.

Hugging Paul was so familiar and easy. I breathed him in with a small sigh and he stiffened slightly.

'You look gorgeous.' He whispered in my ear quietly. He pulled back with a neutral expression.

He grinned at Jasper, 'Alright man?' They hugged and I smiled at them.

'So…what are we waiting for?' Paul asked, smirking.

I rolled my eyes, pushing him playfully. 'We were waiting for you!'

He laughed, his brown eyes light as he they looked into mine. 'Well, isn't everyone?' He winked.

We laughed and went to get snacks.

'Do you want popcorn? Or…' Jasper said seriously, his eyes sparkling, 'Candy?'

I grinned playfully, 'Why not both.'

He laughed lightly and I smiled, 'I'll get it. You pick the candy, do you want caramel or buttered popcorn?'

Jasper's eyes searched mine for a second and then he shrugged.

'Mmm, buttered.' He said, his blue eyes bright. He grabbed a packet of sour patch kids from the stand and smiled cheekily.

I grinned. 'Ooh I love sour patch kids. Coke okay?'

'Sure.' He said, smiling at me.

As I turned to walk over to the till, his hand lightly brushed against my ass and I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

He smirked at me, his eyes flickering with mischief and my stomach flipped slightly.

I went to go buy the popcorn and candy. There were a few people in front of me. Paul joined me in the queue.

'So, how was the date?' He said, his brown eyes unreadable.

_Oh, so Jasper told him about the date._

'It was good.' I said carefully. 'How's Elena.'

He laughed loudly, grinning at me.

I smiled back. 'She's good.' He said, his eyes flicked over to her. 'She's pretty hot.'

'Sure.' I said, my stomach clenching weirdly. I looked at her, 'I mean…I personally wouldn't walk around with my tits out like that, but to each their own.'

Paul smirked at me, 'You don't need to be jealous.'

I bristled, 'I'm not.'

He leant closer to me, 'Yes, you are.'

I scowled, 'No, I'm not.'

Paul smiled, 'She's nowhere near as hot as you.'

I glared at him, 'I know.'

His brown eyes sparkled as he looked down at me. 'You know, you're cute when you're jealous.'

'I'm not fucking-'

'Hi, what would you like?' A male voice sounded behind me.

Paul raised his eyebrows at me, a smirk on his face.

I turned to face the counter, plastering a smile on my face. 'Can I please get a large buttered popcorn and two cokes, and this.' I placed the sour patch kids on the counter.

'S-sure.' The guy stammered, his eyes wide as he looked down my body. 'A-anything else?'

Paul snickered behind me. This kid was like 15 years old. I read his nametag.

'No thank you, Aaron, just the popcorn and the cokes.' I smiled sweetly at him.

He nodded, smiling widely at me. He turned to look at me whilst he was filling up the cokes and it started overflowing. He swore quietly, turning back to the drinks.

On his way over with them he tripped, and one fell on the floor.

'I'm so sorry.' He apologised, his face mortified.

I felt really sorry for him.

I smiled kindly at him, 'That's okay, don't worry, take your time.'

Paul dropped his head into the back of my shoulder as he tried to cover his laugh.

'Don't be so mean.' I whispered to him sharply. Aaron brought the drinks over, his hand shaking slightly as he placed them in front of me.

_Aw._

He went to grab the popcorn but as he placed it in front of me he managed to smash the cokes over and I stepped back into Paul as one of them went all over me.

'Fuck.' I gasped as the cold coke splashed over my chest. Paul grabbed me from behind to stop me from falling over.

Aaron looked absolutely mortified. 'Oh my god. I am so sorry.'

I stepped forward from Paul, looking down at myself with a sigh. I was covered in coke.

Aaron's eyes dropped to my chest and he made a choking sound. I frowned at him, looking down at myself again and then sighed.

My white top was now completely see-through, and I wasn't wearing a bra.

'For fucks sake.' I said irritated.

Paul stepped from behind me and looked down at my chest.

'Hmm.' His eyes flicked up to mine, slightly dark, a wicked smile adorning his face. 'Oh dear.' Then he burst into laughter.

I glared at him, crossing my arms over my breasts.

Aaron was practically throwing napkins at us.

'I'm so sorry, oh my god, I'm going to be fired, it's just you're so hot, not that that means anything but just, oh god, I really need this job.' His eyes were still staring at my chest and I cleared my throat. He looked away embarrassed.

Paul grabbed the napkins from him and handed them to me, eyes dark as they watched me dab at my chest. He was still chuckling.

The others came up to us to see what was happening. They all started laughing too and I shot Jasper a look of death and he stopped laughing abruptly, his eyes full of amusement.

He looked to Aaron who was practically in tears and his chest shook slightly.

Paul was basically in tears, he'd been laughing so hard. Irina was looking at him curiously.

'That was so fucking funny.' Paul chuckled. He grinned at me. 'I've got a spare T-shirt in my car. I'll go get it for you.'

I glared at him and he ran off laughing.

I pouted at Jasper and he grinned at me. His eyes dropped down to my chest and he smirked, his eyes darkening slightly.

'I'm going to go to the bathroom, can you bring me in the shirt when Paul gets back?' I asked Rose, rolling my eyes.

'Sure B.' She said, grinning.

I walked into the bathroom, peeling my top off. A woman came out of a stall and gasped in surprise. I guess being half naked in the movie toilets is a bit unusual.

'Drink accident.' I clarified to her, pointing to my soaking wet top. I was all sticky and wet now.

'Bad luck doll.' She said, smiling at me.

I shrugged. 'Shit happens.'

I wet some napkins and tried to get as much coke off me as possible.

Rose walked into the room and her eyes dropped to my chest with a laugh.

'Aw Bella.' She giggled, handing Paul's T-shirt to me. I rolled my eyes, finishing drying myself off. 'Do you want to still watch the movie? No one would blame you if you want to go home.'

I shook my head, pulling Paul's T-shirt over my head. 'Nah, I'll still watch it. I'm a little sticky but it's not unbearable.'

I tied it into an intricate knot above the skirt and surveyed my reflection. My nipples were kind of protruding out, and the T-shirt accentuated my breasts a little too much. But…it would have to do.

Rose laughed lightly. 'God you look like you're the centrefold in playboy'

I met her eyes in the mirror laughing, 'I know. It won't be as bad when I warm up a bit.'

We walked out the toilets and I stifled a laugh as everyone's eyes, even Irina's, dropped to my chest.

Rose laughed loudly, 'Yep, she looks fucking hot, you can all stop staring now.'

Everyone except Paul and Jasper looked away sheepishly.

'Thanks for the T-shirt.' I said to Paul, smiling. His eyes flicked up to mine, dark and swirling with lust.

'You're welcome.' He said, his voice slightly husky. Irina huffed next to him and he turned to smile at her cockily. She simpered and I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

Jasper swallowed heavily as I came to stand in front of him. He ducked his head by my ear, 'Now all I can think about is that your nipples taste like coke.'

I shivered at his words and he pulled back, his eyes dark. Electricity was thrumming between us and my breathing hitched as I thought about his mouth on my chest.

'I look forward to you finding out whether that's true or not.' I said naughtily, staring into his blue eyes. He smirked at me.

I turned away from him to Aaron who looked really upset.

'Hey, don't worry, these things happen.' I said to him sweetly.

His bottom lip trembled. 'Are you going to tell my manager?'

I shook my head, 'Of course not, it's fine, no harm done, okay?'

He nodded, a huge smile crossing his face. 'Thank you so much…' he looked at me expectantly.

'Bella.' I said.

'Bella.' He repeated, eyes wide. He gestured to the bar, 'I made it all up for you again and it's on the house. Sorry again.'

He ran off and Jasper laughed, 'Poor thing is utterly besotted with you now.' He said grinning at me, he smiled softly, 'Not that I blame him.'

I pushed him playfully, grabbing the popcorn whilst he grabbed the rest.

In an unfortunate turn of events, I ended up sitting in between Paul and Jasper. I shot Rose a pleading look and she laughed loudly.

I watched as Irina placed her hand at the top of Paul's thigh and my stomach clenched uneasily. I turned to look at Jasper and smiled at him.

He looked so fucking hot. His golden waves were falling into his eyes a little and my fingers twitched as I thought about tucking them behind his ear. The lights went down and I swallowed heavily as Jasper's eyes dropped to my mouth and then to my chest. I felt my nipples harden again, under his gaze and he licked his lips. I shivered.

He bent his head towards my ear.

'You look so fuckin' hot.' He whispered huskily.

'So, do you.' I whispered back. He smirked at me, his leg leaning to press against mine. I shivered. There was an ache in my lower stomach, building with every touch and look we shared. His proximity was driving me crazy. He laced his fingers with mine and rested them on his leg.

I got pretty absorbed into the movie, but a movement near Paul caused me to look over to him. His head was tilted back, and his eyes were closed. I looked down and Irina's hand was basically palming his cock. I wasn't prepared for the sick feeling that swirled through my stomach and I looked away sharply.

'You okay?' Jasper asked me softly, rubbing his thumb into my hand.

I smiled at him, 'Yeah.' I leant my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me. After a while he started teasing the bare skin between my skirt and the T-shirt with feather like touches. I swallowed heavily, feeling my lower stomach coil tightly. His fingers drifted slightly higher and I shifted in my seat. I could feel my arousal, pooling between my legs. Jasper sighed softly and I shivered.

I couldn't wait to get back to his after. I wanted him so badly.

A small sound escaped my mouth as Jasper's hand crept higher, brushing the underside of my breast.

'You feel so fuckin' good.' He whispered huskily in my ear. I shivered, pressing my thighs together. 'Do you want me?'

Ugh, his dirty talk, I'd almost forgotten how good his southern drawl sounded in my ear.

I swallowed heavily. 'Yes.' I breathed.

His fingers brushed my nipple and I bit my lip hard to keep quiet, pressing my thighs together harder.

'Mm does that feel good?' He whispered. I gripped his thigh with my hand in response. He laughed quietly in my ear and it was such a naughty chuckle I shivered with desire. 'Am I making you wet for me?'

A quiet moan slipped out of my mouth at that. Jasper kissed my neck and I closed my eyes, tilting my head to the side, giving him more room eyes closed as his thumb rubbed over my nipple.

I opened my eyes and almost froze as I registered Paul's eyes, looking into mine. His jaw twitched, his eyes swirling with emotion. I'd been prepared for things to be awkward, but I wasn't prepared for the look of hurt in his eyes, or the sharp sensation in my chest when I saw it.

My stomach clenched uncomfortably. I needed some air.

I squeezed Jasper's thigh gently and he looked at me curiously, 'Be right back.' I said to him, smiling. 'Too much coke.'

He smiled back and I kissed his cheek. 'Okay darlin.'

I got up and Paul's eyes followed me as I walked out.

I leant over the sink in the bathrooms, sighing.

I didn't understand why Paul cared that Jasper was touching me. I thought back to my conversation with Jasper earlier with a sigh.

_He said he thought Paul had feelings for me, but that just couldn't be it. Besides, Paul had told him that he didn't. And I didn't have feelings for Paul either. So why did he look at me like that when he saw Jasper touching me? Is it just because we can't do that anymore? Because I chose Jasper? Fuck I've been in here way too long I need to go._

I splashed my neck with water and headed back into the theatre. Rose looked at me curiously as I sat back down. Irina was scowling her hands in her lap and Paul was watching me. Jasper smiled at me and I smiled back.

'What did I miss?' I whispered to him. He explained to me quickly. I nodded, leaning back into my seat. Jasper's hand rested on my knee gently and I watched the screen, widening my eyes at the fight scene playing out in front of me.

**X**

The movie was actually really good. I was sitting on the edge of seat at the end, watching with rapt attention.

'That was sick.' Emmett announced as the light turned on in the theatre and we all stood up.

'I seriously thought he was going to die.' Rose said laughing. 'I mean…I knew he wouldn't, because he never does, but I couldn't see how he was going to get out of it alive.'

'It was a close call.' Embry agreed.

I yawned, stretching my arms over my head and Jasper smiled at me, tugging me by the skirt to kiss the side of my mouth. Emmett made a surprised noise, looking at me, then Jasper and then Paul.

Rose laughed and I stuck my tongue out at her.

Paul was looking at me, his face unreadable.

We walked out and Jasper let go of my hand, smiling at me. I nodded. I got it.

'What's everyone doing now?' Emmett asked us, 'We could go for pizza?'

_Nope. I had a hot date with a naked Jasper._

I bit my lip, looking at Jasper. He feigned a yawn. 'I don't know, I'm pretty tired.'

'It's 7.30?' Paul said, raising an eyebrow at Jasper.

Jasper shrugged. 'I was up early.'

'Yeah, we should get going anyway,' Irina said to Paul, wrapping her hand around his arm.

He pulled out of her grip, 'Nah I'm feeling pizza. We should all go!' He said, grinning.

_What was he doing?_

'Yeah, sounds good.' Embry shrugged.

'Bella?' Emmett said, grinning at me. Jasper shot me a look.

'Oh…um I don't know, I'm not that hungry.' I said carefully. I gestured down to my shirt. 'Plus, I'm kind of covered in coke still.'

'A few more hours won't make a difference.' Paul said pointedly.

Jasper raised his eyebrows at him, and he shrugged.

'So, you comin'?' Emmett asked me, flashing me his dimples.

I looked to Rose, and she smiled to herself, looking at her nails.

_Ugh bitch._

'Um.' I said, looking at Jasper. He sighed and shrugged. 'Okay then.' I said to Emmett. He smiled wider.

'Awesome!'

When Jasper and I got in the car we laughed.

'So much for going back to yours and getting naked.' I said pouting.

Jasper smirked at me. 'We can still do that after Pizza.'

I bit my lip, 'I know, but I want you.'

Jasper's eyes darkened. 'I want you too.' His eyes looked down at my T-Shirt and he smirked. 'You look so fuckin' hot in that.'

I smiled coyly, 'You think?'

'That poor boy must have had a heart attack when he saw you in that wet top.' He said, grinning.

I bit my lip, 'I felt so sorry for him.'

Jasper laughed, 'I wouldn't baby, I think he's got enough wanking material for the rest of his life now.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Don't say that, ugh gross.'

**X**

Jasper and I pulled up to his house and he grinned at me, 'Finally.'

The meal had been fine, I hadn't eaten much. I was still pretty full from lunch, but it had been fun hanging out with everyone and I was actually glad we went. Irina had openly glared at me the whole time, but I avoided her gaze and she hadn't really interacted with me thank god. Paul had had his arm around her and she kept looking at me as she leant in to kiss his neck.

I'd ignored her and the ugly feeling I had in my stomach when I saw them together.

I followed Jasper into the house, and he turned the lights on. 'Want something to drink darlin'?'

I nodded. 'Yeah, definitely.'

He smiled, 'I'll get some whisky, still want to smoke up?'

'Yeah.' I said, smiling at him.

'Okay, let's go into the garden then, you know my favourite spot.' He turned the lights on outside.

I walked out into the garden, sitting cross legged on the chair as I looked up at the sky. It was a pretty clear night, the stars were out and it looked beautiful.

'Beautiful.' Jasper said behind me. I turned to him with a smile.

'I know, you can see so many stars.'

He sat down next to me, placing a joint and a bottle of whisky on the table. 'I didn't mean the stars.'

I smiled, looking down. He had a blanket over his arm, and he pulled it over us, grabbing the joint.

'Want to do the honours?'

'Sure.' I said, grabbing it and snuggling into his side. He played with my hair as I lit it, breathing it in deeply. 'Nice roll, did you do it?' I said to Jasper, smiling. It was really smooth. I took another hit, holding it in for a while before blowing it out.

'Yeah.' He said softly, taking the joint from me as I passed it to him. 'I rolled them all yesterday, I have 3 more in my room, but I figured we just wanted one.'

'Yeah, I've got to drive home.' I said, reaching my hand out to grab the whisky.

Jasper frowned, 'You're not staying?'

I bit my lip. I didn't normally stay over at all with anyone. Paul was the first guy I'd stayed the night with. And yeah, for me and Paul it was normal now, but it was different with Jasper, I felt more…vulnerable.

'Not yet.' I told him truthfully.

'Okay.' He said softly. He leant in and kissed me gently. I sighed into his mouth. He tasted like tobacco and weed and just Jasper.

He pulled back, eyes dark as he placed the joint back in his mouth. I took a swig of the whiskey, feeling it sear down the back of my throat.

'Ooh, this is good stuff.' I commented, smacking my lips. Jasper grinned, leaning to kiss me again, running his tongue along my lower lip.

'Mmm, tastes good.' He said naughtily after he pulled back. I smiled. I moved so my head was lying in his lap and he brought the joint to my lips. My eyes locked with his as I wrapped my mouth around it and breathed it in. I took a strong hit and my chest tightened as I held it in my throat. It tickled slightly. I let it out slowly, letting smoke waft out of my mouth and then back up through my nostrils. Jasper smirked at me, leaning his head back as he drunk some of the whisky. His hand played with my hair gently tugging on the ends. It felt good and I hummed.

'What drugs make you really hyperactive and happy?' I asked Jasper as he put the joint to his mouth again. He raised an eyebrow at me.

'Why? Do you want to be hyperactive and happy?' He asked curiously.

I laughed, 'No. It's just, I've done Acid, Speed, E, Coke, and none of them really have the same effect as…'

'As what?' Jasper asked me, his blue eyes studying mine.

'Just, are there any that make you hyper? And, hallucinate? But not fully trip just…a little bit. Like, hear music when there isn't any, that kind of thing?'

Jasper shrugged, 'I mean, sometimes mushrooms can be like that. But it really depends, it can be a bit manic or it can be really chilled, you never know what you'll get.'

'Okay.' I said softly. I didn't think Renee would do shrooms.

'Why?' Jasper asked me, stroking my cheek gently.

'Just wondering.' I said, biting my lip.

He nodded, his blue eyes contemplative. 'Okay.'

He put the joint to my mouth again and I took a deep drag. He pulled it away and leant down to me. I propped myself up on my forearm to meet him halfway and I blew the smoke into his mouth as he kissed me languidly, his tongue sliding into my mouth. We both moaned.

He pulled back, smirking at me. I sat up and pulled my skirt up to the top of my thighs so I could straddle his lap. Jasper took another hit of the joint and I took it from his mouth, leaning behind me to place it on the ashtray on the table. Jasper looked at me, his eyes dark and heavy from the weed.

My whole body was aching with longing for him. I could feel my arousal, slick between my thighs. I wanted him so badly.

I felt pretty stoned. Jasper grabbed the whisky bottle and placed it at my lips. I tilted my head back as he tipped some into my mouth and it overflowed slightly, dripping down my neck. He licked his way up my neck, catching the whisky. I held some in my mouth and when his lips met mine, he moaned as I let it flow from my mouth to his.

'Fuckin' hot.' He groaned into my mouth, swallowing the whisky. I heard the clank of the bottle on the table behind me and then Jasper was kissing me fiercely and I didn't know which way was up.

I tangled my hands into his hair moaning as his tongue slid into my mouth. If kissing Jasper sober rocked my world, kissing him high was like fucking flying. It felt so good. I shifted in his lap and moaned into his mouth when I felt him hard and pressing into me.

_Oh, god. _

His mouth descended down my neck and he gripped the bottom of my top, pulling it over my head. I gasped in pleasure as he rocked his hips up into me.

I'd wanted this since the moment I'd seen him.

'Fuck.' He groaned, looking at my chest. 'You're so fucking beautiful.' He cupped my breasts in his hands as he kissed down my neck, his thumbs rubbing over my nipples. I ground myself into his lap and he moaned, squeezing my nipple between his thumb and forefinger gently. His mouth descended on my chest, licking and kissing across my breasts before taking my nipple into his mouth. He sucked it, running his tongue over the tip as his hands gripped my ass. I cried out with pleasure. It felt so fucking good. Jasper groaned, moving to the other side and repeating his movements, licking and sucking as I ground my hips down onto him. He kissed back up my chest and licked my neck teasingly making me shiver.

My lips crashed to his again and he turned us sideways, laying me down on the chair as he crawled over me. He hovered over me as he kissed me deeply, his tongue flicking against mine. I whimpered into his mouth. My whole body was on fire. I wanted him so badly.

'Jasper.' I panted into his mouth. I felt him smile against my lips. He sat up, on his knees between my legs as he looked down at me.

I reached my hand up to place my palm on his stomach and I smirked as I felt his abs contract under my fingers. I leant up on one forearm as I pulled the material of his T-shirt up. His hands grabbed the hem of the top, pulling it over his head and revealing his shirtless body.

_Fuck. I'd seen him shirtless before but oh god…he was so fucking sexy._

I ran my hand over his stomach, pausing gently as I skimmed over the large scar that ran from the top of his chest to the opposite hip. He shivered, his blue eyes intense as they looked into mine.

Intense desire rushed through my body as I looked at him. I didn't just want him, I _needed_ him.

He swallowed heavily as I ran my finger down the scar. I didn't say anything, I knew he'd tell me when he was ready. I placed a small kiss on his chest, looking up into his eyes.

He smiled at me, threading his fingers into my hair as he gently pulled my mouth to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck, sighing in pleasure as his naked chest came into contact with mine. His hands slid down my back, deepening the ache between my legs as his hot hands ran over my skin. I slid my hand down his stomach, brushing over the bulge in his jeans. Jasper groaned. He nudged me backwards gently and I lay back, looking at him.

His blue eyes were almost black as he looked down at me. He ran his hands down my body, his fingers undoing my skirt. I lifted my hips up as he pulled it off my body.

'Fuck.' He muttered as he looked down at me. I was just wearing a black thong. 'Jesus, I've thought about you like this before but _fuck_ my imagination did not do you justice.'

I smiled naughtily up at him, 'I've thought about you like this too.' I said huskily. His hand slid between my breasts and I gasped, 'Jasper.'

He placed the palm of his hand on my stomach and I arched my back up into him. His hand was hot against my skin.

'Ugh, I know baby.' He said huskily. 'God you sounded so fucking hot on the phone, whimpering my name as you made yourself come.'

'Jasper,' I moaned.

'I love it when you moan my name like that darlin'.' Jasper said, his voice thick with lust. 'So fuckin' sexy.'

'Please…touch me.' I moaned as his hand slid lower across my stomach. He groaned as his fingers skimmed over the top of my underwear.

'Oh god.' He said chokingly. 'Bella.' His fingers tugged my underwear down my legs, so I was lying naked in front of him.

His fingers teased at my thighs before they gently spread them apart. I arched my back as his fingers ran up my inner thigh.

I gasped as he brushed his thumb over my clit. His fingers dipped lower.

'Oh, fuck.' Jasper groaned lowly, 'You're so fuckin' wet.'

'Jasper.' I moaned as his fingers pushed inside me.

'Oh god.' He said, his voice wretched. 'Is this all for me baby?'

'Yes.' I cried, 'Please.'

Jasper groaned as he moved his fingers inside me. 'Oh fuck.' He said, his voice low. He pulled his fingers out and sucked them into his mouth.

I whimpered, leaning up on my forearms. 'Jasper I swear to god. Take your fucking jeans off and fuck me.' My voice was thick with lust.

He smirked at me cockily. 'Don't worry darlin', I'll fuck you.' I moaned. 'But first…' His blue eyes were dark with lust. 'I want to make you come all over my tongue.' He shifted his body back and got onto his stomach, spreading my thighs apart with his hands.

'Oh fuck.' I gasped, arching my back. I looked at his head between my legs and felt my heart literally jump in my chest.

He looked so fucking sexy. His blue eyes stared intently into mine and lust jolted through my body again making me buck my hips up. He smirked at me softly, before dropping his head between my legs, running his tongue up my slit.

'Oh fuck.' I gasped, 'Oh my god.' His tongue wrapped around my clit and I cried out with pleasure. It felt so fucking good.

Jasper groaned into me as he kissed lower, dipping his tongue inside of me.

'Oh fuck. Jasper.' I gasped, tangling my hands in his hair. His hands slid up my thighs, one of them squeezing my breast. I cried out as his fingers pinched my nipple.

He moved his mouth back to my clit, flicking his tongue across it as his fingers slid inside me.

'Oh my god, oh my god.' I repeated, eyes rolling back into my head. 'Jas, that feels so fucking good, ugh.'

He paused between my legs, his fingers still moving inside of me. 'You taste so fuckin' good Bella.' He said huskily. I groaned, arching my back. 'Aw you like me talking like this to you don't you darlin'. He flicked his tongue out against my clit again and I whimpered. 'Ugh and you sound so fuckin' hot.'

'Jasper.' I moaned. I was so close already.

He groaned softly, 'What is it baby? Do you want me to make you come? Is that what you want?'

'Ugh, please.' I cried, pulling his hair slightly as I bucked my hips up into him.

'Mm fuck.' Jasper said huskily, 'You look so fucking hot like this Bella, naked with my fingers inside of you. I can't wait to slide my cock into you. You want me to fuck you darlin'?'

'Oh god.' I gasped, 'Jasper, please. I need you to make me come, please.' I cried.

'Well, seein' as you asked so nicely.' Jasper said naughtily, smirking at me between my legs. He resumed licking at my clit, his fingers slamming into me.

I threw my head back in pleasure and Jasper groaned. I was so close.

'Oh my god, I'm gonna come.' I gasped, 'Jasper.' He sucked my clit into my mouth, applying pressure at the bottom of my stomach with his right hand as he curled his fingers inside me with the other.

'Oh fuck.' I cried, my legs shaking as my orgasm hit. 'Oh god.' I moaned.

Jasper pulled back from between my legs, kissing his way up my stomach and my neck, I grabbed his head and pulled his mouth to mine. I could taste myself all over his lips and tongue.

'Fuck.' Jasper groaned into my mouth, 'Do you like how you taste darlin'?'

I pulled back, licking my lips as I stared into his eyes. 'Yeah.'

Jasper's eyes rolled back into his head and I smirked, pulling his bottom lip between my teeth. My hands went to his jeans, undoing them. Jasper groaned as my hands slipped inside, palming his cock in my hand.

'Ugh, Bella.' He gasped, 'Shit.'

'Jasper.' I gasped, 'Help me take them off.' I sat up as he stepped back of the chair to take them off. His hands went to his jeans, pulling them down with his boxers too.

I stared at his cock as it lightly slapped his stomach.

'Fuck.' I muttered, biting my lip. He was so thick, and just…big. 'Ugh, Jasper.' I moaned, gripping him in my hand. I stepped off the chair and pushed him to sit down, getting on my knees in front of him as I wrapped my hand around him.

'Fuck.' He growled, his blue eyes were so dark. He was so fucking hot. 'Bella, you feel so fucking good.'

I kissed his chest, making my way down his stomach, gently stroking him up and down with my fist. He groaned, jerking his hips up into my hand.

I licked my way across his abs, biting his hip gently as I got to it and then smoothing it over with my tongue.

He watched me, biting his lip. He was fucking gorgeous.

I smirked up at him and teasingly ran my tongue down his cock.

'Oh, fuck.' Jasper groaned, his eyes rolling back into his head. I flicked my tongue over his tip, tasting him and he gasped, his hands threading in my hair. 'Yes.' He hissed.

I took him into my mouth, moaning around his length as he grunted. It sounded so sexy.

'God you look so fucking hot with your cock in my mouth.' He groaned, causing more wetness to build between my legs. God, the mouth on him was so fucking hot. 'Ugh, yeah.' He licked his lips. 'That's it baby, fuck.' I slid him deeper into my throat and he swallowed heavily, 'Fuck do you know how many times I've come, thinking about you doing this to me? God, especially that day after the library.' He groaned lowly, 'Finding out that you make yourself come thinking about me. And god…Bella, when I fuckin'…' He groaned, tilting his head back with pleasure, 'When I touched you, and you were so fuckin' wet for me…' I brought my other hand between my legs, his talk was driving me crazy, I needed to touch myself. 'I've never been so hard in my life. I wanted to get under the desk and bury my head between those sexy legs. Make you scream my fuckin' name. All I could think about was taking you home and fucking you.'

I was close to an orgasm again. I moaned around him. Jasper's eyes dropped to my hand between my legs and he groaned, his eyes widening. 'Fuck, are you touching yourself Bella? Oh baby…fuck, you're gonna make me come.'

That did it for me and I moaned loudly around him as I hit my peak. Jasper groaned low in his throat, 'Fuck I'm coming, oh, fuck, fuuuuck.' I swallowed around him and he panted, tugging my body up towards him and crashing his mouth to mine. 'You're so fuckin' hot, you know that?' He said against my mouth, pulling me onto his lap. I straddled his hips and we both moaned as he brushed against me.

Giving him head was partly tactical. It had been months since he had sex and I wanted him to last.

'Condom?' I asked desperately. The look in his eyes…fuck. I've never been so turned on in my life.

Jasper swallowed heavily. 'In my jeans, back pocket.' I got off his lap and bent over to find the condom, moaning loudly as Jasper slapped my ass lightly, his fingers slipping inside me again. I stood up with it in my hand, and he stood up too, pulling me to him roughly as he kissed me fiercely, his hands sliding down my body and gripping my ass. I pulled my mouth from his and tore the condom open with my teeth, feeling the latex slip a little against my fingers. I pushed it down onto him, both of us breathing heavily. His lips crashed to mine again, his hand tangling in my hair as his tongue stroked against mine. I pushed him back slightly and he sat down on the chair as I straddled his lap. The kiss slowed down in intensity slightly and Jasper pulled back, breathing heavily.

'Are you sure?' He asked me softly. I stared at him, slightly taken aback. No one had ever asked me that before.

'Yeah.' I said, leaning to kiss him again. I sucked his bottom lip and he groaned into my mouth, gripping my hips and positioning himself below me. I moved my hand between us to help guide him inside me and then placed them on his shoulders, gripping them as I sunk onto him. The sensation was incredible.

_Oh god, so fucking good._

I watched as Jasper threw back his head in pleasure. He looked so gorgeous. When he was fully inside of me, he gripped my hips, holding himself still.

'Fuuuck.' He groaned lowly.

'Fuck, so good.' I gasped.

His voice grated with need, 'God, Bella. I'm fucking…ugh, you feel so good, _fuck_.'

Jasper's hands lifted my hips up, lifting me off him slightly before slowly sinking me back down.

'Oh, god.' I gasped, throwing my head back. 'Jasper.'

He groaned, 'Bella. Fuck.' He repeated his movements, dropping me down a little harder this time.

We both cried out in pleasure.

I gripped my hands onto his shoulders harder as I started to lift myself up and down over him, moving out bodies faster together.

'Oh yes.' Jasper grunted, gripping my hips to help me.

'Jasper,' I gasped, tilting my head back. His mouth descended on my neck, kissing and licking the skin.

'Ugh Bella, you feel so good.' He groaned, moving his hands to grip my ass. 'Fuck, you're so sexy.'

His lips captured mine in a searing kiss, opening his mouth to lick his tongue against mine. It felt so fucking good.

He rocked his hips up into me harder. 'Jasper.' I cried out into his mouth.

'Fuck.' He grunted. He pulled back from me, looking into my eyes. 'Darlin', I need to fuck you, I need to make you scream my fucking name.'

'Oh god.' I moaned, 'Please.'

He stood up, gripping my thighs as he gently lay me down on the chair, still inside me. He hooked my leg over his hip and ran his tongue up my neck before kissing me fiercely.

'Keep that there.' He said huskily, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth and gently biting it. I cried out in pleasure, trying to move my hips against him and relieve the tension in my lower stomach. He chuckled, the deep, throaty chuckle that had been driving me crazy since I met him and I felt myself clench around him.

'Fuck.' He said huskily. He balanced himself on his hands above me and I stared up at him as his blue eyes looked intently into mine. I shivered as desire rushed through me. I wanted him so badly. He smirked at me and I bit my lip. So, fucking hot.

Then he started to fuck me.

He drew his hips back and then thrust forward, his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth in concentration. 'Oh, god.' I shouted, my nails digging into his shoulders.

'Fuck. Yes.' Jasper groaned, his golden curls falling into his face. He looked like a fucking god.

'Ugh, you feel so fucking good.' He grunted. 'So. Fucking. Good.'

My eyes rolled back into my head as he shifted his hips, hitting that sweet spot inside of me. He hit it again and I bit back a scream, biting my lip hard.

Jasper eyes looked fucking sinful as he looked down at me. 'Don't hold back baby.' He said roughly, 'I want to hear you fucking scream.' He increased the pace and I tightened my leg around his hip, digging my heel into his ass.

'Fuck.' I cried out. He dropped to his forearms, crashing his mouth to mine and I moaned loudly into his mouth.

He pulled back, dropping his head into my neck as he slammed his hips into me, 'Fuck, Bella, I've thought about fucking you since the minute I fucking saw you, but fuck, you feel so much better than I imagined.'

I groaned, my hands running down his back, feeling his muscles contract as he thrust into me. 'Jasper,' I panted, tilting my head back in pleasure as he moaned into my neck.

'In the car…' He groaned into my ear, 'I was so tempted to just slide that fuckin' underwear aside and slam into you.' I moaned loudly, 'You've been driving me fuckin' crazy.'

'You've been driving me crazy too.' I gasped. Jasper hooked my left leg under his arm, deepening the angle at which he was driving into me.

'Oh fuck.' I yelped as he hit a deep spot inside of me. 'Oh god, right there.'

'Right. Here?' Jasper asked cockily, slamming into me harder.

'Oh fuck,' I shouted. 'Oh my god. Jasper!'

'That's it baby.' Jasper groaned in my ear. 'You sound so fucking hot when you cry out my name like that. God.'

I cried out again, I was getting close. Really close.

'I'm-Fuck.' I cried.

'You're what baby?' Jasper growled, 'You're gonna come? Is that what?'

'Oh fuck.' I cried, my body starting to shake.

'Fuck.' Jasper grunted, 'Come on darlin', come all over my cock.'

'Oh.' I cried, 'Oh god. Jasper,'

He slammed into me harder, 'That's it baby, let it go, come on, scream for me.'

I threw back my head and screamed as my body convulsed around him. Waves and waves of pleasure rocked through me. I don't think I've ever come so hard in my fucking life.

'Oh _shit_.' Jasper grunted, 'Fuck.' He slammed into me harder, groaning into my neck. He sounded so fucking hot.

'Oh god, Jasper.' I moaned.

'Fuck, I'm gonna come.' He gasped, 'Oh fuck.' I watched, mouth open in desire as his eyes rolled back in his head, his body shuddering above me.

'Fuck, fuuuuuck.' He gasped. He dropped his head into my neck, his body still shuddering. 'Shit.' He grunted.

I stroked my hand up his back gently. 'You look so fucking hot when you come.' I said huskily. 'Seriously. That was such a fucking turn on.'

Jasper laughed into my neck, pulling his head back. He looked down at me, his blue eyes staring into mine. He bent down and kissed me sweetly. I sighed into his mouth. He rolled off me, breathing heavily. It was a bit tight but we had room to lie side by side.

'Wow.' I said, staring at the stars as my breathing returned to normal.

Jasper's hand skimmed my stomach. 'You're fucking incredible.'

I turned to look at him, 'Yeah?' His hair was slightly damp at the ends and both of us were covered in sweat.

He nodded, 'Seriously. That was…there are no words.'

'For me too.' I said truthfully.

That was definitely up there with the best sex I had ever had in my life.

'Really?' Jasper said, smiling.

I leant in to kiss him, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth. He groaned.

I pulled back with a grin. 'Really.'

He smiled, his blue eyes sparkling. The moment felt a little too intimate so I sat up and grabbed two cigarettes, putting them both in my mouth as I lay back down next to Jasper. I lit them both, scrunching my eyebrows at the double hit. I pulled one out of my mouth and placed it at Jasper's lips. He smirked at me, opening his mouth and taking it between his teeth. His hand came up to grab it as he closed his lips around it and sucked it in, breathing the smoke out above us.

We lay there in silence for a while, just relaxing, staring at the sky. It didn't feel awkward or like anything needed to be said, it was just…calming.

My thoughts drifted to Paul. Sex with Jasper was mind blowing, but it was also pretty mind blowing with Paul too. I bit my lip. I really hoped Paul and I could figure this friend thing out.

'Shit, you can have weed without it affecting your swimming, right?' I said to Jasper as the thought occurred to me.

He laughed, 'Yeah, well… for a minute anyway. Like I said the next comp is just a friendly, but after that, Coach will start drug testing. I can't have weed after next week.'

I turned my head to face him and he copied me.

'Well I guess you've got to enjoy the last of it while you can then.' I smiled at him. His blue eyes sparkled back at me.

'Yeah.' He said softly, leaning in and kissing me gently.

'No swim practice in the morning?' I asked, smirking.

He chuckled, 'No, thank fuck for that. I wouldn't smoke up before training anyway, I'd probably drown.'

I looked back up to the stars. Being here with Jasper like this…my mind felt quiet. It was a nice change. The sky was so beautiful.

'Bella?' He said softly.

'Yeah?' I tilted my head sideways again so I could look at him. He was looking straight up, and I ran my eyes over his slanted eyebrows, his thick lashes, his bright blue eyes, settling on his perfect mouth. He was so gorgeous.

'You can talk to me.' He swallowed. 'There's no pressure…but I just…sometimes I feel like you're dealing with so much more than you say. You're always so tired at school, and you never talk about your parents… Sometimes you get this look in your eye like you're barely holding on.'

I swallowed heavily. 'Jasper. Don't.'

He was so perceptive. I wasn't going to talk about it, but… for the first time ever, I kind of wanted to.

He sighed, moving his face towards me to look into my eyes. We stared at each other for a while. 'Okay.' He said softly, brushing his lips against mine. 'But you can always call me if you need me, or need to talk, no matter what time it is.'

I looked at him for a moment. There was nothing in his blue eyes except concern.

'Okay.' I agreed, turning my head back up to the sky.

* * *

**A/N: **

**So...there you have it. Bella and Jasper are FINALLY getting it on, and it's guilt free...sort of ;) ****What did you think of their date? Are we liking them together? Or missing Paul? ****Was the lemon up to scratch?!**

**If you would like to find out your spirit animal, you can visit and do the test like they did :) I'm an owl!**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews! 3 Don't forget to leave one for me, letting me know your thoughts :D**

**You have another 2 weeks to wait for the next chapter, but there will be a new chapter for Irresistible (My other story) next week, so check it out :)**

**What do you guys think of chapter names? A good addition? Or a bad one? I could add them but I'm not sure. Let me know what you think!**

**lots of love, **

**Creaatingmadness xxx**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N **

**Apologies again lovelies for the late update. I ended up rewriting the whole chapter. I had to split it into two parts AGAIN. Whoops, otherwise it would have been way too long. Lemony goodness ahead ;)**

**Please R&R :D**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

'I don't understand.' Renee yelled, throwing the bottle of vodka at the wall.

I ducked out of the way as glass flew everywhere.

_Ouch. _

I looked down at my arm. There was a piece of glass sticking out of it. Crap. I pulled the piece of glass out, hissing at the pain. I clamped my other hand onto it as blood started gushing down my arm.

'Calm down.' I said soothingly to Renee. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a cloth, wrapping it around my arm and tying it tightly. Phil had left yesterday on another trip. I think even he was starting to notice her strange behaviour. She was either drunk, which made her either angry or depressed, or she was taking those pills that made her all loopy and erratic.

_Today was apparently a drunk day. How much had she fucking had?_

'Why isn't he here.' She cried. 'Why do they always fucking ruin everything.'

'Mom.' I urged, 'Sit down.' I reached out to her gently with my good arm and she gripped my wrist fiercely.

'Fucking bastards.' She growled.

'Fuck. Ow.' I grimaced, pulling out of her grip. 'Jesus. Fucking…whatever.'

She started crying dejectedly and I sighed, putting my head in my hands.

It took me 4 hours to calm her down, then another 3 to get her to go to bed. She'd wake up with a hell of a hangover but at least she'd be alive.

It was 5am when I looked down at my arm and realised I should probably do something about it.

I pulled the cloth away and grimaced. It was pretty big, but shallow. I didn't _think_ it needed stitches.

What was I supposed to fucking do if it did anyway? Go to hospital? They'd just ask me a hundred questions and call her. And then what? What if they took me away from her? Where would I go?

I couldn't do that.

I found a first aid kit in Phil's bathroom cupboard and I cleaned the wound, covering it with some gauze and then wrapping a bandage around it.

It really fucking hurt. My whole arm was throbbing.

The whole process had taken me an hour.

I only had 3 hours until I had to leave for school. I didn't want to go, but I had a test in Biology and we had a Spanish essay due today. I couldn't miss it.

'Fuck.' I said to myself, leaning my head against the mirror. I walked into my room and lit a cigarette, not caring about going over to the window. What was the fucking point at this stage? I used a mug as an ash tray and sat on my bed, my head in my hands.

I was so tired. _Shit. I need to get rid of the alcohol._

I finished my cigarette and dragged myself out to the kitchen.

I looked through all the cupboards, under the sofa, even in her and Phil's room. I didn't actually find much but what I did, I tipped down the kitchen sink. I then took her car keys and put them in my bag. She probably wouldn't go anywhere anyway.

I put my hands on the kitchen counter feeling my eyes well up with tears. Nope. Nope. I won't cry.

_Don't cry, don't cry_. I repeated to myself in my head, looking up at the ceiling.

All I wanted to do was just crawl into my bed.

I threw my hair into a messy bun and threw on my vans, a pair of denim shorts and one of my favourite T-shirts for when I was in a bad mood.

It was plain white with a slight crop, and in tiny writing across the boobs it said, 'If you can read this, you're standing too close to me. F*** off.'

I was pretty sure it wouldn't get me in trouble, seeing as the fuck was asterisked out.

I covered my black circles with concealer and framed my eyes thickly with black kohl. Everything about my appearance today said, don't fuck with me. I stared at the bandage on my arm with a grimace. If anybody asked me about it, I'd just say I hurt it at the garage.

I pulled up to school with a scowl, putting my headphones in. I had a really strong urge to find Jasper and just bury my head into his chest and cry. Which I hate, because Bella Swan doesn't need anybody, and she certainly doesn't fucking cry.

It had been three weeks since Jasper broke up with Lauren, but he was still avoiding touching me at school. She was acting like they hadn't even broken up, hanging onto his arm at and being clingy as fuck. It was driving me insane. He wouldn't even hug me, just in case she saw and got upset. Luckily, his parents both worked so he always had a free house for a few hours after school.

Last week we fell asleep accidentally and I had to sneak out his window…at 2am. I will not be doing that again, I almost fell off his fucking roof. Jasper had just stood at the window, laughing his ass off. Things between us were playful and light most of the time, but at other times…they were so intense. Truthfully it was scaring the fuck out of me how much I seemed to want to be around him.

I got out my car with a cigarette in my mouth and shades covering my eyes. I stalked to the smoking area and lit it. There was barely anyone around, but school started soon so that's probably why.

My phone started ringing in my hand. I looked down at it and answered.

'Hi.'

'Hi darlin', where are you? I just finished practice.' Jasper said sweetly.

I sighed, 'I'm in the smoking area, but the bell's about to ring.'

'I know.' He said softly, 'I'll meet you out front in a minute?'

'Yeah.' I said stiffly, hanging up. I couldn't hide the bitter feeling that rose in my gut at the knowledge I wouldn't be able to hug him.

_Stop it Bella. It's just sex. _

I threw my cigarette on the floor and stamped on it aggressively. I was so fucking tired. This day could go fuck itself.

Jasper smiled at me when I approached him. His hair was still damp from the shower and he looked fucking gorgeous and I just wanted to step into his arms and kiss him. But I couldn't.

'Hey.' He smiled at me. I smiled back but it felt kind of fake. He frowned, 'Are you okay darlin'?'

'I'm fine.' I lied.

He frowned, 'You sure baby?'

I ignored the way my stomach flipped when he said 'baby' and tried smiling again, hoping he'd buy it. 'Yeah, I'm good, how was practice?'

He grinned, his blue eyes lighting up with excitement, 'I beat my PB by 0.6 of a second. So fuckin' close to getting down to that 2-minute mark.'

A real smile crossed my face at his enthusiasm.

He looked down at my arm and frowned, 'Hey, what happened?' He grabbed my wrist gently. I sighed at his touch as the usual electricity flickered through me. He smelt so good…

'My arm got trapped when I was switching a fuel gauge.' I lied smoothly. 'It'll be fine.'

'That sounds painful.' Jasper said, wincing and rubbing his thumb over my wrist. I shivered at his touch.

'It's not a big deal.' I shrugged, feeling uncomfortable lying to him. He pulled his hand back and I sighed at the loss of contact.

His eyes widened as he read my T-shirt. He looked up at me with a smirk, 'Does that apply to me too?'

I rolled my eyes. 'No.' A genuine smile crossed my face and the urge to hug him got even stronger. I pushed the feeling down.

As we walked into school his fingers gently brushed against my ass and a shot of desire flickered through me.

We played a teasing game during school normally, exchanging lots of secret touches and driving each other crazy with dirty words and texts. We were seeing who was going to give in first. Yesterday, I almost had him, I could see on his face he was close to pulling me into our broom closet, but he managed to hold off. At least until we got to his house and he fucked me against the front door.

I wasn't really in the mood to play today so I didn't touch him back.

We parted ways as I went to Trig, and he went to Spanish. As he left, he squeezed my hand gently.

'See you later beautiful.' He smiled at me, his blue eyes sparkling.

'Yeah.' I replied, my voice sounding monotonous.

_Shit, you need to get better at acting Bella. _

Jasper's bright blue eyes studied mine for a moment before he walked away.

Stupidly perceptive fucker. I was going to get asked questions later.

Paul frowned at me when I sat down next to him. 'What's the matter?' He asked immediately. Speaking of perceptive fuckers…

'Nothing.' I replied, taking my book out.

He raised his eyebrow at me. 'Liar.'

I ignored him, taking out my pen. Things with Paul were basically back to normal except the fact we weren't sleeping together anymore. We still hung out at his place and talked most days. I was going there tonight after school.

I'm still adjusting to not…being with him. When we're alone together I have to force myself not to think about how good he looks naked, or how he tastes, and I catch him looking at me too. So far, we hadn't slipped up, and I was determined not to. Besides, he's got plenty of distractions. Every time I see him, he's got his tongue down another girl's throat, which makes me feel physically ill.

Turns out, it's not just Irina I don't like him touching. It's everyone.

Paul nudged me and I looked up at him, swallowing as his deep brown eyes locked onto mine. 'Seriously, what's wrong?' He said,

'Why do you think somethings wrong?' I said smoothly, raising an eyebrow.

Paul rolled his eyes at me. 'Because I'm not stupid.'

'I'm fine.' I said brusquely. Paul frowned as he saw the bandage on my arm.

'What happened there?'

'I hurt it at the garage.' I said shrugging. 'No big deal.'

Paul's jaw twitched. 'Oh yeah? Doing what exactly?'

I frowned, 'Changing a fuel gauge.' I said, my eyes looking back to the front of the classroom.

'Uh-huh.' Paul said beside me. 'What _actually_ happened?'

I turned to him angrily. 'Seriously?'

He sighed, 'Bella, it's me. Did something happen?'

'No.' I said, getting irritated.

'Bella.' Paul repeated.

'Just fucking leave it.' I snapped at him.

His eyes narrowed at me. 'Make me.'

'Fuck off.' I said, intending it to sound angry but it just sounded kind of pathetic. I sighed, putting my head on the desk.

He didn't ask me again, but I could feel him watching me. When the bell rung, I stood up to grab my stuff. I gasped as Paul grabbed my hand gently and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

I struggled against him for a second and then relaxed into his arms. He sighed softly. He smelt so good, I shivered.

'You can talk to me you know.' He murmured into my hair.

I pulled back, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

He laughed, 'Yeah, yeah. I know, hypocritical of me isn't it. But…' His eyes stared into mine, 'I talk to you.'

'Not about everything.' I said, thinking of his mom.

Paul ran his hand down my back lightly, 'I would if you asked.' He said, looking into my eyes.

My heart did a weird fluttery thing as I stared into his deep brown eyes, and I pulled out of his hug.

'Feel any better?' He asked me, a smirk crossing his lips.

'No.' I said, feeling myself smile slightly.

He kissed my cheek quickly and then bent down to grab his stuff.

I tried to hide my smile as I finished packing up my own stuff.

'Still coming over later?' He asked me, slinging his arm over my shoulder as we walked out of the classroom.

'Yeah.' I said yawning, 'But, can we just get high and order pizza or something?'

'Sure.' Paul shrugged. 'Football finishes at 8, what time will you finish work?'

'Probably the same time.'

'Cool.' A girl across the hall smiled at him and waved and he shot her a flirty grin. 'Hey Ashley.' He called. He turned to me and winked, 'I'll see you later. And just so you know.' His eyes glinted, 'We are going to talk about it.'

'Whatever.' I said, pushing him off.

He grinned and ran over to Ashley, placing his arm on the locker by her head as he flashed her a panty-dropping grin. I averted my eyes as the usual uncomfortable feeling spread in my stomach.

I walked into English and sat down next to Mike. Lauren and Jasper weren't in yet. He walked into the room, Lauren trailing behind him, talking animatedly. He shot me a bright smile and I returned it half-heartedly. My arm was killing me, and my head was pounding. It was pathetic, but I just wanted him to wrap me up in a hug, not giving a shit about what Lauren or anyone else thought. The fact I even felt that way scared the shit out of me.

Jasper frowned softly at me as he walked past my desk.

I put my headphones in my left ear, not even bothering to hide it. Mrs Maxwell glanced at them for a moment, but she didn't say anything. She didn't need to. I'd gotten an A on the paper I'd submitted last week, and I was still working, even if I _was_ listening to music at the same time.

I was already dying for a smoke.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was Jasper.

**What's wrong?**

_**I'm just tired. **_I responded.

**You sure that's all baby?**

_**Yeah.**_

**I'm sorry about the Lauren thing, if it's that. I just don't want her feelings hurt.**

_**It's not that. It's nothing, don't worry.**_

**Okay. Want to sneak off at break?**

I smiled to myself.

_**Jasper Whitlock, are you giving in?**_

**Lol, not for that…though it's fucking tempting ;) I just want to give you a hug.**

I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face as I read his text. I turned back to look at him, pretending I was looking for something in my bag. He winked at me. I hid my smile as Lauren stared at me, turning back to face the front of the classroom.

_**Yeah, where should we go?**_

**What about your car?**

_**Okay, cool.**_

I let out a breath.

After class Jasper got held up by Lauren and I had to fight the urge to walk over and tell her to leave him alone. I walked out the building and got in my car, waiting for him.

After 10 minutes I gave up. I was fucking pissed off. I stormed over to the smoking area and lit a cigarette. I only had like 3 minutes and I really needed the nicotine. My vision was swimming a little. I was so tired. I'd been up now for thirty hours. It didn't feel good.

Jasper appeared in front of me, frowning. 'Why didn't you wait?' He asked me. He didn't take out a cig. He was trying to cut down for swimming.

I shrugged, 'I wanted to smoke, and it didn't seem like you were coming.'

Jasper looked around the smoking area and sighed. I guess there were too many people around... I couldn't help the bitter taste that arose in my mouth at the thought.

'I'm sorry.' He apologised, his blue eyes locking onto mine. 'I really wanted to be with you but Lauren started crying and I had to help her.'

_That fucking manipulative bitch_. I was sure she knew what was going on between us.

'Whatever.' I said, dropping my cigarette and stamping it out.

'Bella…' Jasper frowned, 'You know I-'

'It's fine.' I snapped. I closed my eyes briefly and sighed. When I opened them, his blue eyes were hurt as they stared into mine.

Great, now_ I_ feel like a fucking bitch.

'I'm sorry.' I said, biting my lip. I reached out for him and he moved back from me, his eyes flicking to the left nervously. I followed his gaze and saw Jessica, looking at us.

_Really? _Hurt washed through me and I resented that I felt that way. What was wrong with me.

Jasper winced as he saw my expression, 'Fuck. Bella I-'

'I'm going to be late.' I said, walking away from him. He called after me but I didn't look back.

**X**

Rose shot me a curious glance as I sat down next to her in biology.

'You look like shit.' She said, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow.

'I look better than you.' I smirked.

Rose laughed, flashing her white teeth. 'Impossible.'

I grinned.

'Want to talk about it?' She questioned casually, staring at the book in front of her.

'God no.' I replied, grimacing.

She smirked. 'How you feeling for the test?' She said, drumming her nails on the desk.

I shot her a look and she sighed. 'Same.'

I was so tired I felt like I was dreaming.

'Where's Emmett?' I asked her, staring at the empty seat next to me.

Rose pursed her lips but didn't answer me. Okay then...

The test was hard, I struggled to keep my eyes open.

Rose and I shot each other desperate looks halfway through and I was glad it wasn't just me that was finding it fucking awful.

By the time it got to lunch I was seriously flagging. I got to our usual table and lay my head on it for a moment while I waited for the others to join me.

I must have fallen asleep because I felt someone place something under my head and then I drifted off again.

I stirred, hearing my name. I was lying on something soft and it smelt like Paul, I inhaled deeply, breathing it in and snuggling my face into the material.

'Is she okay?' I heard Jasper say worriedly.

'She's fine, she's just tired.' Paul said, I felt his hand on my back, rubbing gently.

'I think she's pissed at me.' Jasper said dejectedly. 'I kind of, backed off when she tried to touch me earlier.'

'Why?' Paul asked sharply, his hand pausing on my back.

'Well Jessica was watching us.'

'So?'

'I'm just trying to be a good guy.'

_Okay, time to get up. _

'Well-' Paul stopped talking, his hand rubbing my back again.

I blinked blearily as Jasper's face washed into focus in front of me.

'Hey darlin'.' He said sweetly. 'Are you okay?'

'I'm fine.' I said automatically.

_He was right, I was kind of pissed at him._

I turned to Paul and he looked at me knowingly.

'Nice nap?' He said, raising his eyebrow at me.

'Yep.' I said, knocking my knee into his hard. He shook his head at me.

'Hablamos de esto más tarde, no hay excusas.' He said, pushing an apple towards me.

_We're talking about this later, no excuses. _

'Nope.' I said to him, ignoring the apple.

'Demasiado. Claramente, algo está mal y lo que le pasó a tu brazo no fue del garaje. Estamos hablando más tarde. Fin de la discusión.'

_Clearly something is wrong and what happened to your arm wasn't from the garage. We're talking later. End of discussion. _

'Te equivocas. Sucedió en el garaje, simplemente dejar de puta que me pide.'

_You're wrong. It did happen at the garage, just stop fucking asking me._

'Prométeme que me lo dirás más tarde o te lo preguntaré en inglés.'

_Promise you'll tell me later or I'll ask you in English._

'Ugh you're a fucking pain. Fine, whatever.' I replied, glaring at him. He shot me a satisfied smirk. I rolled my eyes, turning to look back at the others.

They were staring at Paul with wide eyes.

'What?' He said shrugging.

'Dude, you're like fluent in Spanish.' Embry said, eyes wide.

'Not _fluent_.' Paul answered.

'Basically fluent.' I corrected. Paul elbowed me.

Everyone was staring at us curiously.

'How does Bella know that, and we don't?' Rose asked Paul, frowning.

Paul sighed, 'It's not a big deal. And she knows because she's fluent too.'

'Not exactly fluent.' I said, shaking my head. 'I had a friend whose mom teaches Spanish. She taught me.'

'So, what, you guys have secret conversations now?' Jasper said, looking irritated.

'Maybe we do.' Paul said, quirking a brow at Jasper. 'That a problem?'

'Stop it Paul.' I sighed.

He shrugged. 'Eat your apple Bella.'

'Fuck off.' I huffed.

Paul rolled his eyes. 'Have you eaten today?'

'No.' I said frowning.

'Then eat the fucking apple.' He smiled sarcastically at me.

I bit into it, glaring at him. He smirked.

'Right, gotta go. Ashley is waiting for me.' He waggled his eyebrows.

_There's the twist in my gut again. Ugh. _

'What a shame.' I said sarcastically, 'We were all loving your company so much.'

Paul grinned at me, his hand going to this chest dramatically. 'You wound me.'

I rolled my eyes at him, holding out his jumper. He grabbed it from me, kissing me on the head. 'See you later.'

'Yeah yeah.' I said, pushing him away gently.

'See you guys in a bit.' He said, shooting the others a grin and then winking at me before strolling off.

I smiled as I bit into my apple again. Jasper was looking at me with a strange expression on his face.

'What?' I asked, confused.

Rose smirked at me, 'You just bring out a side of Paul that we never see, it's interesting.'

I frowned, 'What do you mean?'

She shrugged, her blue eyes glinting.

I turned away from her. Jasper was looking at me, but I avoided his gaze.

'Are you mad at me?' He asked, finally. The other's turned to look at us.

I looked at him with a sigh. 'No. I'm going to go for a smoke.' I said, getting my bag and standing up.

Jasper went to stand up too, but I shook my head.

He looked at me dejectedly.

'Wouldn't want to upset Lauren.' I said snarkily, walking off.

'Fuck.' I heard him mutter.

**X**

The tension between Jasper and I was rolling off us in waves in History. Jasper had taken Emmett's seat and he was so close to me I could feel the heat coming off his body.

'I'm sorry darlin'.' Jasper said into my ear, placing his warm hand on my knee. I shivered at his touch.

I ignored him, trying to focus on what Dr. Shadwell was saying.

'Please don't be mad at me baby.' Jasper whispered, his warm breath fanning over my ear.

Heat swirled through my belly at the sensation.

'I'm not mad.' I said, moving away from him slightly.

Jasper's hand slid higher up my leg. 'Bella.' He said softly into my ear. 'I wanted to touch you. I spend all day wanting to touch you. I'm just trying to be a good guy. You get that right?'

I swallowed heavily at the sensation his hand on my leg was sending through my body.

'God you smell so good darlin'.' Jasper's voice was husky in my ear. I closed my eyes briefly as lust jolted down my spine.

'What-' I gasped as his hand moved to the inside of my thigh, causing my lower stomach to coil tightly, '-do you think you're doing.'

I turned to look at him and he stared at me innocently, his blue eyes widening and a soft smirk playing at his lips. 'Nothin' baby. Just working.'

My heart thumped in my chest as I stared at him, he was so fucking attractive.

I narrowed my eyes at him. He sighed at me. 'It was a dick move Bella, I'm sorry.'

My skin was tingling where his warm hand was touching me. I swallowed, pushing down the intense lust that was surging through me.

I shrugged, 'Whatever.'

Jasper's hand slid higher between my legs and my eyes rolled back into my head. 'Will you let me make it up to you baby?' He whispered huskily into my ear.

'I-uh,' I managed to say as he pressed his thumb against the crotch of my shorts. I shivered. '_Jasper._'

'Yes darlin'?' He drawled, pulling back to smirk at me.

'What are you doing?' I said breathily as his thumb rubbed over my clit in my shorts.

Jasper licked his bottom lip, 'Touching you.'

'What if someone sees…' I said bitchily.

Jasper growled softly, moving his hand back from me. 'Don't be like that darlin'?'

I narrowed my eyes at him, 'Like what?'

Jasper studied me for a moment and then put his hand up. 'Excuse me, Dr. Shadwell, Bella's not feeling very well. Can I take her to the nurse?'

_What?_

I looked at him confused and he widened his eyes at me. 'Uh yeah, Dr. Shadwell, I feel really sick.' I lied, shooting a look at Jasper.

_What the fuck was he doing?_

'Okay, off you go.' Dr. Shadwell said dismissively, turning back to the board and droning on about civil war weapons.

When we got out into the hall, he grabbed my hand, walking down the corridor with me. I frowned at him.

'Jasper, what are you d-'

He pulled us into an empty classroom and slammed me against the door, his mouth meeting mine, hot and heavy.

My whole body was instantly in overdrive, feeling his hard body against mine. Lust rushed through me in a wave and I eagerly returned his kiss, arching my back into him as his hands ran down my sides. I moaned into his mouth. He slid his tongue into my mouth roughly and I wrapped it around mine, moaning at the taste of him.

He felt so good. So, fucking hot.

I gasped as his hands slid underneath my shirt, running over my stomach sending tendrils of longing across my skin.

Fuck, he was so sexy.

'_Jasper._' I gasped into his mouth.

He groaned softly into my mouth. 'Fuck, Bella staying away from you at school is driving me fuckin' crazy. I want you all the time. I'm sorry about what happened at break, it was fuckin' stupid.'

'Fuck.' I gasped as his thumb brushed over my nipples. My stomach was tightly coiled with desire and I was dripping into my underwear.

'Do you forgive me?' He murmured huskily against my mouth. I pulled my head back and he kissed down my neck, biting gently.

'This is sexual manipulation.' I said breathily.

He pulled back from my throat, his eyes flashing with amusement. 'Oh yeah? Do you want me to stop?'

I grabbed his hair roughly and pulled his mouth to mine, 'Fuck no.' I said roughly against his lips.

I felt his mouth turn up into a smile before he slid his tongue into my mouth. His hands slid down my sides roughly, his hand slipping under my shirt.

We pulled back, gasping for air and his mouth descended back down my throat. 'Do you know how fuckin' hard it is to not touch you darlin' he said huskily, licking and sucking my skin. 'I don't want to have to tiptoe around her. I just want you…' He ran his tongue higher up my neck and I threw back my head in pleasure. 'Please baby, I want to fuck you. Tell me I can fuck you.'

_Oh god._

'Jasper,' I moaned, 'I need you.' There was fire licking through my veins.

Jasper groaned into my mouth, 'Fuck.'

I shivered with desire, pulling back slightly. 'What if someone comes in here?'

Jasper's hand went to the doorknob next to me and he locked it. 'I don't fucking care.' He said roughly. 'I want you.' His eyes were almost black.

Fuck.

'Ugh, Jas-per' I gasped as his hands went to my shorts, undoing them. He pulled them down my legs with my underwear and then turned me roughly, so the front of my body was pressed into the door. 'Fuck.' I gasped in pleasure.

'God you're so fuckin' hot.' Jasper growled into my neck, his hand slid down my front as he ground himself into my ass.

I moaned as his fingers brushed over my clit and then lower.

'Oh _fuck_.' Jasper groaned. 'Always so fuckin' wet for me, aren't you?'

'Jasper.' I gasped, tilting my head back onto his shoulder. 'Please.'

'I want you so bad Bella.' He said throatily, his fingers rubbing my clit. I moaned and he grabbed my face with his other hand, turning my head gently to kiss him. Oh god. His tongue flicking against mine whilst his fingers rubbed my clit, felt so fucking good. 'I've wanted to touch you and be with you all fucking day.'

I whimpered into his mouth with pleasure. He groaned, biting at my lips gently. I pulled back from the kiss breathing heavily and Jasper's hand let go of my face. I heard the sound of his zipper and shuddered in anticipation. He kicked his leg in between mine, opening them wide and I moaned loudly.

'Shh, darlin'.' Jasper whispered huskily. 'We have to be quiet.'

I shivered. I heard the sound of tearing foil and then I felt him, thick and hard, against my entrance.

'Fuck, Jasper.' I gasped.

His strong arms slid down my sides and he squeezed my ass gently, his hands warm against my skin. 'So fuckin' sexy.' He growled lowly. His fingers brushed my clit again and then he guided himself to my entrance.

'Oh _fuck_.' I moaned, knocking my head into the door as he slowly slid inside me.

'Yes.' Jasper hissed, 'You feel so fucking good.'

He paused when he was fully sheathed inside me and I felt his lips tease the back of my neck.

'Jasper, _please._' I panted, my body shuddering. I couldn't move. He had me completely pressed against the door. It was so fucking hot I could barely speak. He ran his tongue down my neck, softly biting me.

'God Bella, you're so fuckin' hot like this.' He said, his voice rough with lust. 'Trapped here, all wet and begging for me to fuck you.'

My whole body was shaking with desire. I needed him. I needed him inside me.

'Please, Jasper.' I whimpered. 'Please.'

He groaned, 'Fuck.' He stepped us back slightly, still inside me and I bent my body forward, placing my hands on the door. I bit back a wince as my left arm throbbed and I let it fall to my side, keeping the right hand against the door instead.

Jasper ran his hand down my back, squeezing my ass. 'God damn, you're so fuckin' sexy.' He said throatily. Then he pulled out and slammed back into me.

Pleasure rocked through me, making my toes curl and my fingers clench the door.

'Fuck.' I spit out, forcing myself to stay quiet. Jasper groaned, his hand sliding up my back to grip my shoulder as he slammed his hips into me again, starting a hard and fast pace. It was fucking heaven.

Pleasure jolted through me with every thrust and I bit my lip to stay quiet.

Jasper made a strangled sound behind me, 'So fuckin' tight like this, shit.'

His words sent another jolt of desire through me and I backed myself onto him, meeting his thrusts.

His hand slid round to where we were joined, and he pressed his thumb into my clit.

_Oh, god._

I arched my back to keep from screaming in pleasure. He slammed his hips into me harder.

'_Jasper_. Feels so fucking good.' I moaned.

'Fuck.' Jasper groaned behind me.

He swivelled his hips and my hand hit the door as I bit back a scream.

'Jesus, fucking.._ugh_.' I panted.

'That's it, baby, god you feel so fucking good.' Jasper whispered huskily, his voice thick with lust 'You look so sexy bent over like this.'

'God.' I gasped.

Jasper groaned, his other hand sliding up to squeeze my breast through my shirt. 'Mmm, are you close baby? I want to feel you come around my cock.'

He moved his thumb over my faster and increased the pace of his thrusts.

'Oh god, right there.' I whimpered. '_Jasper_.'

'That's it darlin', say my fuckin' name.' Jasper growled.

I felt myself building closer and closer.

'I'm so close.' I gasped.

Jasper groaned, 'Ugh fuck. I wish I could hear you scream for me baby. Do you know how fuckin' hot it is watching you come, hearing you scream my name. Ugh.'

Jasper yanked my body up to his, wrapping his arm across my torso and pressing his mouth to mine. I hit my peak, stars bursting behind my eyelids as pleasure rocked through me. Jasper's mouth swallowed my screams.

'Fuck, you look so fuckin' beautiful when you come.' Jasper groaned, pulling back. I shuddered as the last waves of pleasure rushed through me. He let me go slightly and I put my hand back down on the door. He gripped my hips, picking up the pace again.

I turned my head to look over my shoulder at him.

_Oh god. _

His blonde hair was slightly messy from my hands, his lips swollen and pouty from kissing me. He looked so fucking hot. I moaned. His blue eyes were fixed on mine as he slammed into me. His mouth was parted in pleasure. He was so goddam hot and it felt so good, I could feel an orgasm building again. I let out a heady moan, placing my hand between my legs. Jasper growled as he watched me.

'Oh fuck, _Jasper_, I think I'm going to come again.' I gasped. As I was rubbing my clit my fingers brushed against where we were joined and Jasper shuddered.

'Fuck. _Fuck._' He groaned, his eyes locked on mine. '_Shit_, Bella. Oh fuck, I'm coming. I'm-ugh.'

He sounded so fucking hot…As I watched him throw back his head in pleasure my second orgasm hit and I shuddered underneath him, placing my fist in my mouth to keep quiet. We stayed there for a moment, breathing heavily. Jasper stroked my back gently and bent down to kiss my spine.

I hummed.

Jasper slipped out of me and I pulled my underwear and shorts up, straightening out my t-shirt. I turned to Jasper. He'd already taken the condom off and put it in his pocket…ew. He tucked himself back into his boxers and then zipped up his jeans, doing up the button.

He pulled me into his arms, kissing my cheek and then my head. I snuggled into his embrace.

'That was unexpected but fucking hot.' I said, smiling against his neck. Jasper laughed softly.

'I know right.'

I pulled back, smirking at him, 'So you know this means you lost…'

Jasper looked down at me laughing, his blue eyes light, 'I guess so.' He leant in to kiss me softly, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth. 'So fucking worth it.'

I sighed into his mouth, feeling heat curl through me again. I deepened the kiss and Jasper groaned softly, walking us backwards and pressing me into the door. 'Fuck I can't stop, I can't get enough of you.' He said roughly.

'_Jasper_,' I gasped into his mouth. His hands slid under my shirt and we both moaned as his thumbs brushed over my nipples. I tangled my fingers in his hair, moaning as his tongue tangled with mine.

'I want you.' I said breathing against his lips. '_Please_.'

'Oh god.' Jasper groaned, his hands sliding down to cup my ass. I started kissing down his neck, running my tongue over his skin as I slipped my hands under his T-shirt, '_Yes_.' He hissed, tilting his head back.

The bell rung loudly making us both jump. We pulled back laughing. 'Shit.' He cupped my cheek softly, 'We better go.' He kissed me again gently, 'Are we okay?'

I smiled softly at him, 'Yeah.'

He grinned, his blue eyes sparkling. 'Good.' He stroked under my eye gently, 'Are you getting any sleep beautiful?'

I pulled away from him shrugging, 'Yeah.'

Jasper frowned. 'You sure you're okay?' I nodded and he sighed, 'Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, have a good time at Paul's later. I wish I didn't have this family thing tonight.'

I smiled at him, 'Aw it'll be fine.'

Jasper sighed, 'I love my uncle and he's really cool, but he's been gone a while and it's just gonna be weird, he's been gone for almost 5 years and he missed Danny's funeral.'

I swallowed. Danny was Jasper's little brothers name. I didn't know what happened to him, just that he died. Jasper had mentioned him a few times, but he hadn't really opened up about it.

'Well let me know how it goes,' I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him softly. He kissed me back, biting my lip playfully before dropping his head to my shoulder and sighing 'We better go, we're gonna be late.'

**X**

My phone rang as I was helping Mason change the alternator in a Chevy. I stepped backwards to answer the call, it was Paul.

'Hey.' I answered.

'Hey!' He greeted, out of breath. 'Sorry we're on break in practice. Shit I didn't even think about the fact you're at work, are you allowed to answer the phone.'

I laughed, 'Yes, I'm allowed to answer the phone, otherwise I wouldn't have answered you dick.'

Paul chuckled, 'Point taken. Anyway, do you still wanna, you know, later?'

'Uh huh.' I replied.

'Is it cool if I get Emmett to drop me off at the garage then? And we'll go pick up in your car then go back to mine? I'll just get Emmett to take me to my car tomorrow.'

'Sure.' I said. I bit my lip, 'We might need to make a stop first.' I needed to check on Renee.

'Yeah, no worries babe. I've got to go…Coach is glaring at me.'

'Okay, I'll send you the address.' I said, smiling. He hung up. I pocketed my phone and went back to the car.

'Was that your boyfriend?' Mason asked me, his green eyes staring into mine.

'Oh, it speaks.' I said, smiling sarcastically at him.

His green eyes lit up and he laughed. 'Ouch.'

'Well you've barely said 5 words to me the past few weeks.' I raised my eyebrows at him.

'Yeah well, I don't have anything to say to you.' Mason returned harshly. I looked up from the car into his emerald eyes feeling my heart jump a little in my chest.

'Clearly you do.' I said snarkily.

'Whatever Bella.' He rolled his eyes. 'Was it your boyfriend or not?'

'No.' I stated. 'He's just a friend.'

I winced as my hand movement caused my arm to twinge and Mason looked down at my arm, his eyes narrowing.

'What the fuck is that?'

'A bandage.' I said matter-of-factly. 'You know, they're white, they come in a roll.'

Mason glared at me, 'I know what a fucking bandage is, I want to know why you have it.'

'I tripped.' I said shrugging.

Mason shook his head at me. 'How?'

'I just tripped on a curb and fell.' I shrugged.

Mason stared at me, his green eyes studying mine. 'Why are you lying?'

I frowned at him, 'I'm not.'

He shook his head at me, 'Yes, you are.'

'No, I'm _not_.' I growled.

'You're a terrible liar Bella. What happened?' Mason snapped.

_Excuse me?_

I huffed. 'I am not a terrible liar. Anyway, nothing happened.'

Mason shook his head at me. 'Was it the same guy that left those bruises on you?'

'No, because _I tripped._' I said angrily.

Mason stepped in front of me and I looked up at him, feeling my heart start slamming in my chest at his proximity. He smelt so fucking good.

_What even was that? Like leather and something deep and woody._

'Bella.' He said softly, 'What happened, please?' His green eyes stared deeply into mine and I shivered, my eyes dropping to his slightly pouty, pink lips before back up to his eyes.

'Are you trying to seduce me into telling you?' I asked him haughtily.

Mason scoffed, before looking at me intensely. 'No. If I was trying to fucking seduce you, you'd be on your knees by now.' His voice was low and I shivered with desire.

'Then what are you doing?' I snapped.

He rolled his eyes. 'Trying to ask you nicely, but clearly that's futile.' He smirked at me, 'Or maybe not… did you ask if I'm trying to seduce you because you felt seduced?'

'No.' I scoffed.

'Hmm.' Mason said, his green eyes flickering with something. 'You sure?'

I swallowed heavily. Hot. He was so fucking hot. My panties were drenched. I nodded, meeting his gaze firmly. He just offered me a crooked smile.

'So, are you going to tell me what happened?' He asked me, his voice slightly lower. I stared up into his vibrant green eyes feeling my heart jump around in my chest.

I leant towards him and he swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing.

_Interesting. _

'I-' I said breathily, moving closer to him. Mason's jaw twitched, his emerald eyes darkening. 'Tripped.' I finished, my mouth a few centimetres from his.

We were both breathing heavily. My body was thrumming with electricity.

Mason's eyes dropped to my mouth for a moment before he stepped back away from me.

'I'm going to keep asking you until you tell me the truth.' He said, grabbing the tools and leaning back over the car.

I stared at his ass for a moment. Such a tight, well-muscled ass. Looks so fucking hot in those jeans.

'Good luck with that.' I said, joining him over the car. He shot me a smirk and I laughed lightly, getting on with the car.

At least he was talking again. That was enough to help me forget that I'd been awake for almost 36 hours.

I was standing talking to Mason when Emmett's jeep pulled up. I ran over and jumped up to the step on the side of the car to hug Em in the driver's seat while Paul jumped out the passenger side.

'Hey Em, I missed you today.' I said, kissing his cheek.

'Missed you to Bellybean.' He said, grinning at me. It didn't reach his eyes and I frowned.

'You okay?' I asked him, concerned.

He swallowed, 'Yeah.'

'I forgot how much I love that T-shirt.' Paul said from behind me. He grabbed me from behind, pulling me away from Emmett and placing me on the ground, wrapping his arms around me tightly and kissing my cheek. I shivered as lust jolted through me at the sensation of his hot body pressing into me from behind. I swallowed, pushing him off me.

'See you later man.' Paul said, stepping around me to fist bump Emmett through the window. 'I'll call you tomorrow, give me a shout if you need anything at all.'

I raised my eyebrow. Obviously something was going on with Emmett. I was concerned but I figured he'd tell me if he wanted me to know.

'Bye Bellybean.' Emmett waved. I blew him a kiss and he shot me a big smile, his dimples showing.

'Bye Em.'

I turned to Paul with a smile, 'How was practice?'

I bit my lip as I looked at him. He was in a pair of black shorts that ended just above his knee and a blue vest top that showed off his muscular arms.

_God damn._

'Good!' He grinned. 'I'm not going to bore you with the details, you hate football.'

I laughed, 'I don't _hate_ it.'

Paul gave me a pointed look and I shrugged, smiling. I grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the Chevy.

'This is what I was just doing.' I said proudly.

'We were doing.' Mason corrected me from behind Paul.

Paul turned around to look at him. 'Hey man, you must be Mason.'

His green eyes flicked to mine. 'Yeah.'

Paul smiled at him, flashing his teeth and crossing his arms in front of his chest. 'I'm Paul.'

_Oh god, seriously? A dick measuring contest?_

Mason raised an eyebrow at him and then looked to me with a smirk. 'Is this the _friend?_' He asked me pointedly.

I rolled my eyes at him. 'Yes.'

Mason smirked, 'I see.'

I felt Pauls arm touch my lower back and turned to look at him. He was staring at Mason with a guarded expression.

'Hey Paul.' Mason said in a suspiciously friendly tone. I narrowed my eyes at him. 'You wouldn't happen to know what happened to Bella's arm would you?' The threat in Mason's voice was obvious.

_Ugh. _

Paul whirled to look at me. 'I fucking knew you were lying when you said you did it here.'

I glared at them both. 'Would you both just fucking leave it alone.'

'No.' They said in unison. I huffed.

I turned to Mason, 'Why do you even care? We're not friends, and you've basically acted like you've hated me since I started.'

I turned to Paul, 'And you, you…ugh.'

Paul smirked at me, 'Podemos hablar de esto más tarde...'

_We can talk about this later_.

'Or…she can just tell us now.' Mason said, cocking his eyebrow at me.

'I didn't know you spoke Spanish?' I said to him, confused.

Mason's green eyes flashed with anger, 'Of course you fucking didn't.' He spat.

He stormed away from us and I stared at his retreating form bewildered.

I turned to Paul, 'Do you see what I mean about him now?'

Paul shrugged. 'Seems like he cares about you though.' His voice sounded kind of weird. I looked at him, confused.

'Yeah right. I just piss him off.'

Paul pursed his lips and put his hands in his shorts. 'So... you going to introduce me to anyone else or we getting out of here?'

I ended up introducing him to Garrett, Jared and Carlisle, as they were the only people who were free.

Awkwardly midway through the conversation Jared asked him if he was my boyfriend.

'No way.' I laughed. Jared shot Paul a look and I frowned at him, turning to look at Paul, but Paul was expressionless.

_Weird. _

After a while I got bored. 'Let's go.' I said, tugging Paul away. He was deep in conversation with Jared about football.

'See you Sunday J.' I said, grinning at him.

'See you Sunday beautiful!' He smiled.

We walked off.

'He's great isn't he.' I said to Paul as we walked over to my car. Paul shrugged, 'He seems okay, I guess.'

I frowned at him, 'I thought you liked him?'

Paul nodded, 'Yeah, he's alright.'

I shook my head at him. 'You should meet his boyfriend, Liam. I think Liam is probably even more into football than Jared. Once you get him started, he does _not_ shut up.'

I opened my car door and looked at Paul confused when he didn't open his.

'He's gay?' He said confused.

I rolled my eyes. 'Yeah.' I laughed.

I got in the car and he got in next to me, shutting the door.

'God Bella, this car is fucking awful.' Paul said, grimacing.

I shoved him hard. 'Don't hate on the car.'

Paul grinned at me.

**X**

I'd managed to force Paul to stay in the car while I checked on Renee. She was sleeping, but breathing...I'd placed some more water by her bed and hightailed out of there.

Paul had stared at me as I got into the car, his expression curious but he didn't say anything.

'How's it going with you and Jasper?' He asked me, we were sat in his garden on the bench and I was rolling a joint.

I raised my eyebrow at him. 'Um, fine.' I shrugged. 'How's the Harem?'

He laughed, 'The Harem? Is that what you're calling them? Yeah, they're good. Ashley is pretty hot, she's a good fuck. Irina too.'

I felt like there was a knife sliding in between my ribs.

My hand stumbled around the paper and I almost fucked it up.

'That was close.' Paul commented. I looked up at him and felt my breathing catch as his brown eyes stared into mine.

I brought the joint up to my mouth and ran my tongue along the paper. Paul's eyes dropped to my mouth and he swallowed.

I twisted the end and handed it to him with my lighter.

He placed it in between his lips and lit it, breathing in deeply. He pulled it away from his mouth.

'Fuck, not bad Bella.' He said, raising his eyebrows. 'Very smooth, don't show Jasper how good you roll, he'll make you do it instead.'

I rolled my eyes. 'He's not smoking now because of swimming.'

'Oh yeah.' Paul said, yawning. He set me off and I closed my eyes briefly, god I was so tired. 'You should stay over.' Paul said, handing me the joint.

'I can't.' I said, frowning at him.

He rolled his eyes. 'Not for sex. I just mean, you know, you're exhausted. You can smoke up, eat some pizza and go to sleep.'

'I don't know.' I said, biting my lip. I put the joint in my mouth.

'Well, you can if you want.' Paul shrugged. I took a deep hit and held my breath, feeling the smoke in my lungs. I exhaled slowly before taking another drag.

I handed it back to Paul.

'So,' He said, turning to face me. I copied him. 'Talk to me.'

I sighed. 'Paul I-'

He shook his head, 'You're hurt.' His brown eyes pleaded with me. 'Just tell me how it happened.'

I sighed. 'Broken glass.'

'Okay, that's a start.' He passed me the joint.

I took a hit.

Paul stared at me. 'Okay, well, how did the glass break?'

'It was a bottle.' I corrected, looking down at my arm.

'How did the bottle break.'

I sighed.

'Bella, please.' Paul pleaded, touching my thigh.

_Fuck._

'She threw it.' I said, keeping my eyes down.

Paul made a small sound and I looked up at him. His brown eyes stared into mine worriedly, 'Your mom?'

I just nodded.

'Has she…has she done something like that before?' He asked.

'Not really.' I answered. I thought back to the broken glass I'd found a few weeks ago. 'Not when I've been there anyway.'

'Is it…was she drunk?'

I sighed, 'Paul, can we just leave it there, I've said enough.'

'Okay.' He answered gently. He cupped my cheek in his hand. 'Thank you for telling me.'

I nodded. I felt…numb. I can't believe I just admitted that to him. _Fuck_.

'Come here.' Paul murmured, pulling me into his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he cupped my cheek, his brown eyes looking into mine, 'Don't freak out. Nothing bad is going to happen just because you said something to me. Okay?'

I swallowed heavily. 'Okay.' He let go of my cheek and I put the joint back at my mouth.

We finished the joint and then I just lay my head on his shoulder, breathing him in. I felt really relaxed. His hands ran up and down my back soothingly.

I closed my eyes.

I woke up feeling really disorientated. I looked around, confused. I was in Paul's bed, but he wasn't there, and it was dark outside. I must have fallen asleep outside. I was in my underwear and my t-shirt and bra. I walked downstairs. Paul was fast asleep on the couch, in just his sleeping pants. I frowned at him, walking over and waking him up.

'Hey.' He said blearily, 'Are you okay?'

'Why are you sleeping down here?' I asked him confused.

'Because…I just didn't think it would be okay for me to sleep with you.' He said, his voice husky from sleep.

I shook my head at him. 'It's your bed. Just come up, I'm getting some water.'

He yawned sleepily, 'Okay.'

When I went back upstairs, he was passed out, curled up in the bed. I smiled at him, drinking some of my water and placing it next to me. I got into the bed with him, resisting the urge to wrap myself around him.

**X**

I woke up in the morning feeling really warm and well rested. I snuggled closer into the warmth surrounding me. I suddenly became aware that the warmth was actually a body pressed against my back, with an arm wrapped around my waist. I shifted as I stirred and my eyes flicked open wide as I became aware of something hard, pressing into my ass. The arm around my waist tightened.

_Oops._

I tried to move myself forward to get out of his arms but all I ended up doing was kind of wriggling against him. Paul groaned softly in my ear and I shivered at the sound. His arm around me moved slightly higher up my body and I gasped as his palm brushed the underside of my breasts.

I could feel heat building between my legs. Paul sighed into my ear softly, his hips pushing against my ass and I couldn't help the slight moan that came out my mouth. As if it woke him up, he suddenly pulled back away from me.

'Um, morning.' He said, his voice husky from sleep.

I turned to look at him. His eyes were half closed still and his hair was in a disarray on his head. The duvet was just covering the bottom of his toned stomach and I could see the bulge in his pants.

_Fuck. So sexy._

'Morning.' I said, my voice sounding breathy. I cleared my throat. 'Did you sleep okay?'

'Yeah.' Paul said, yawning. 'You?'

'Really good.' I said softly, snuggling into the pillow some more. 'How long did I sleep for?'

'It's 10 now, so about 13 hours.' Paul smiled at me, 'How you feeling?'

'I feel good.' I said, yawning. 'Thank you for taking me up to bed.'

Paul shrugged. 'No worries. Sorry I took your leggings off, just figured you wouldn't want to sleep in them.' He smirked at me, 'I've seen it all anyway.'

'It's cool.' I stretched my arms over my head and Paul's eyes dropped to my stomach before flicking back up to mine.

His brown eyes were so pretty. My stomach growled loudly and I looked down at it, frowning. I think other than the apple I hadn't eaten anything else for forty hours or so.

Paul studied me for a moment. 'Want to get breakfast?' He asked, raising his eyebrows. 'You can drop me to my car after.'

'Okay.' I shrugged. 'We can't be too long though. I'm going over to Jasper's at 2.'

Paul nodded, 'That's cool, I'm going to Kate's.'

'Who's Kate?' I said, frowning at him.

He smirked, 'Another one of the _Harem_.'

I swallowed back the irritation I felt. 'Oh, that sounds fun.' I lied.

Paul looked up at me, his eyes swirling with unreadable emotion. 'It will be.'

I nodded at him and started to get out of the bed but he moved towards me suddenly, wrapping his arms around me.

I shivered as his warm body brushed against my bare stomach.

He hugged me tightly, burying his face in my neck.

We stayed there for a moment. He sighed and I was suddenly hyper aware of his breath on my neck. He moved his head slightly and my breathing hitched as I felt his warm breath on my cheek. His nose ran along my jaw, sending a shiver of desire down my spine. I moved my head, causing my lips to brush over his cheek. My T-shirt had ridden up and I was so aware of his warm hands, resting on the small of my back, burning into my skin.

Desire rushed through me as he pulled his head back slightly, his lips brushing the corner of my mouth.

We were both breathing heavily. I could feel his hot breath against my mouth. He was so close I could practically taste him. I shivered as desire flickered in my lower stomach and heat spread across my skin. Paul's hands on my back tightened slightly. I was moving closer to him. Our lips brushed, once, twice. My mouth parted and his bottom lip pressed in the gap for a split second.

My heart was hammering in my ears and all I could hear was our breathing. There was a deep ache between my legs. My whole body was lit up with desire, I just..wanted.

Paul nudged closer, his lips brushing mine again and my breathing hitched. My hands fisted the material of his shirt as the ache between my legs increased. There were flutters of desire and pleasure swirling in my chest and stomach.

Our lips brushed again and I couldn't help the sigh that fell from my lips. Paul made a noise in the back of his throat and then suddenly his warm mouth was moving against mine. I gasped, responding eagerly to him, my hands sliding into his hair and tugging gently. He rolled on top of me, settling in between my legs and I arched my back into his chest.

Paul let out a deep groan into my mouth as his tongue licked across my lower lip causing heat to rush through my body. Electricity rippled through me and I grabbed the back of his head, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth before tangling my tongue with his.

A moan slipped out of my mouth and Paul's hands slid down my back to grip my ass, squeezing it in his hands and then moving my hips forward. We both groaned as my centre made contact with the impressive bulge in his pants.

Then my phone starting ringing.

I pulled back from Paul abruptly and looked down at him in shock. He cleared his throat, shifting me off his lap. We were both breathing heavily.

'Um, that was…' I said awkwardly.

'Let's not talk about it.' Paul urged, running a hand through his hair. He grabbed my phone and handed it to me. 'It's Jasper.' He said stiffly.

Shit.

'Hi.' I said, answering the phone. Paul got out of bed and walked out the room.

**X**

My fingers ran down the puckered pink line that ran across Jasper's body as I lay on top of him on his bed. He was lying on his back and I was on my stomach in between his legs, my arms crossed over his lower stomach. His parents were out all day at some golf club or something. The minute I'd walked in the door he'd picked me up and carried me upstairs to his shower. I'd practically ripped his clothes off him I was so desperate to touch him. The chemistry we had was almost unbearable. I wanted him constantly. I couldn't stop touching him or wanting to be with him. All he had to do was look at me and I felt like I was drowning in lust.

After we'd fucked in the shower we'd moved to the bedroom and messed around some more. Now we were just...cuddling, which, to my horror I was deeply enjoying. I felt so safe with him that I'd almost started blabbing about Renee and Charlie.

_I was in so much trouble. _

Jasper's hands were stroking down my back gently. We'd been silent for a while and I could tell Jasper was thinking about something that was upsetting him because he'd tensed underneath me.

'Danny was a big talker.' He said softly.

I looked up at him.

'He could just talk, and talk, and talk.' Jasper smiled wryly. 'Always yammering on about a recent movie or baseball.'

I kept my eyes on him carefully.

'He was the kind of kid you just knew had a bright future, you know?' He stroked my hair gently, 'Crazy smart, always had an answer for everything, even at that age. Even though he was nine and I was sixteen, we still got on like a house on fire. We were always playing pranks on my parents, wrestling, playing with nerf guns, that kind of thing.' He laughed lightly, 'This one time we got into this prank war and he put oil on the floor in the kitchen for me to slip.' He smiled, closing his eyes. 'My dad walked into the kitchen to get a beer and slipped instead.' He laughed, 'God he was so mad, but mainly at me, not Danny. He got away with murder. We drove my mom mad half the time.' He laughed. 'We bickered a lot too, over stupid stuff really.'

I stroked his chest gently with my hand. Jasper's laugh stopped abruptly.

'We fought a lot that night. My parents had gone to a function and the baby-sitter cancelled, so I had to pick Danny up from football practice and look after him instead….I was pissed! I was supposed to be going to a party with Paul and Emmett. It was one of the first big house parties we got invited too and I'd been looking forward to going. I-' Jasper's hand stilled against my back, 'I went to pick him up, he was really excited, he'd scored his first touchdown. I-I didn't even tell him congratulations I was so irritated that he was ruining my night. I'd really wanted to go to that party.' Jasper voice was unsteady. 'A few hours later we were watching TV together and I got a call from this girl, Jasmine. I had a pretty big crush on her, and I was supposed to see her at the party. She asked if I would come and pick her up. I jumped at the chance.' Jasper swallowed heavily, 'I wasn't supposed to leave Danny on his own, but I figured it would only be for half an hour or so. I told Danny I was going out and he got really upset with me, told me to stay and hang out with him instead and that he hadn't really spent any time with me. I told him…' Jasper breathed out harshly, 'I told him I didn't care, that he was just a kid and I had better things to do.' Jasper's hands scrunched into fists, 'He followed me out the house, still arguing with me and then he just climbed into the passenger seat and said he was coming. I wasn't pleased about it, but he was a fuckin' stubborn kid, and I gave in. As I drove…' Jasper let out a choked sound, 'All I could think was he was going to ruin my chances with Jasmine.'

_Oh god, I was getting a really bad feeling about where this was going._

'It's funny.' Jasper said roughly, his eyes opening to look at mine. The pain in them floored me. 'In movies, there's a moment before a car hits you, where you see it coming...' He closed his eyes. 'In reality… it comes out of nowhere. One minute we were sitting at a crossroad and I was whining to Danny about him coming with me. The next minute…' Jasper's eyes filled with tears. 'I woke up, upside down. There was blood…everywhere. Danny…' He choked on a sob, 'They told me after that he'd died on impact, but I didn't know. I tried to move towards him, but I couldn't move, I was trapped.' Tears were streaming down his face, 'I called out his name, again and again but he didn't open his eyes.' Jasper's eyes closed in agony, 'They had to cut us out of the car. The guy who hit us…he was on his phone. He didn't see the stop sign.'

_Oh god. Jasper._ I forced the tears in my eyes away.

'If I hadn't left the house…if I'd ignored her call. If I'd listened to Danny and not gone...' I moved myself up his body and wrapped my arms around him tightly. He pressed his face into my neck. I could feel his tears, hot and wet against my skin.

'It wasn't your fault.' I said softly, stroking his hair.

'He thought I hated him. He died thinking I didn't want to spend time with him. He didn't know that I loved him.' Jasper's voice was shaking. I held him tighter.

'I'm sure he knew.' I said softly, stroking his hair. 'You were his brother, of course he knew.'

Jasper pulled back from me and I kissed his tears away. Seeing him like this caused a sharp pain in my stomach. I just wanted him to feel better. He sat up and I moved to straddle his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly.

'I'm so sorry.' I said into his ear. I didn't really know what else I could say. I'd never dealt with anything like this before. I pulled back to look at him and gently pressed my lips to his. His lips tasted like salt.

Jasper wiped his eyes. 'I'm sorry.' He cleared his throat, looking down. 'I didn't mean to start blubbering.'

'Don't be fucking stupid.' I said, tilting his chin up so I could look into his blue eyes. 'Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.'

Jasper stared up at me and I shivered under his gaze. This felt really intimate…and not because we were both naked. I realised with a sharp feeling in my gut that I…cared. I cared a lot… I hugged him again, unable to look into his eyes.

Panic washed through me.

_Bella, you fucking idiot. You cannot have feelings for him. This is just sex._

Jasper gently pulled my head away from his neck and looked at me. Even after crying he looked fucking gorgeous. His deep blue eyes were bottomless and I stared into them, feeling my heart slam in my chest.

He kissed me gently, his warm lips meeting mine carefully, his hand gently cupping the back of my head. It was a new kind of kiss, unhurried, sensual. Jasper's tongue pressed against my lips and I opened my mouth, shivering as his tongue slid inside. Desire rolled over me like a wave, starting in my toes and crawling up my body, like flames were licking at my skin.

Jasper moaned softly into my mouth and I shifted in his lap, arching my back as his cock brushed against my clit.

His hand on the back of my head slid down my back slowly, sending goosebumps across my skin. His mouth moved from mine and placed gentle, barely there, kisses across my jaw, down my neck. I leant back into his hand, my eyes closing with pleasure.

He teased me with small kisses, brushing his hands across my nipples and then down to my clit, never really touching me where I wanted him to.

I was a writhing mess in his arms as my body thrummed with desire and pleasure. Every so often his mouth would meet mine, gentle but deep, his soft lips moulding to mine and sending jolts of longing down my spine.

I didn't realise I was on the edge until his fingers slipped inside me and an earth-shattering orgasm ripped through me, making my toes curl and my back arch with pleasure. Jasper slid inside me while I was still panting his name, one hand on the small of my back and the other behind him to help him rock his hips against mine.

He was so deep inside of me like this, touching places that made me squirm with pleasure and feel like I was losing my fucking mind. I hadn't even seen him put on a condom but I could feel it, the latex making him even more slippery as he rocked his hips into mine. Every drive of his hips brought another wave of pleasure.

I couldn't speak, nothing but moans and whimpers emerged from my throat.

His blue eyes stayed locked with mine, half closed in pleasure, he looked so good.

I didn't know what this was but it certainly wasn't fucking.

One of my hands was on his shoulder, helping our bodies come together, and the other was tangled in his golden waves, my nails gently scraping against his scalp.

Jasper's groans were the hottest sound I had ever heard. I felt like I was barely hanging on and then I was crying out his name again and again, my body spasming around him. He never slowed his hips, and his mouth parted in lust and pleasure as his eyes stayed locked with mine through my orgasm.

Jasper's mouth met mine fiercely, his tongue licking against mine as his he cupped my cheek. He was teasing another orgasm out of me and he was going to succeed. His hand slipped down my body and his thumb started rubbing circles into my clit.

Stars erupted behind my eyes and I lost myself in it, vaguely aware of Jasper groaning loudly into my mouth as he reached his climax.

My body was still twitching as his hips slowed. He gently pulled away from my mouth, giving me a lingering kiss on the mouth before pulling back all the way.

_Oh fuck, I think I have feelings for him._

* * *

**A/N**

**Here you go! Slightly late update BUT an update nonetheless. **

**Thank you so much for your patience and hope you're enjoying the story so far. Obviously we jumped ahead in time a little here and the next few chapters will probably keep doing that. For everyone getting frustrated with the Mason situation...don't worry. It'll all come out soon enough and it'll be well explained when it does.**

**Do you prefer Paul or Jasper? Maybe you like them both...I certainly can't decide :p**

**Please leave me a review and let me know what you think! **

**lots of love,**

**Creaaatingmadness xxx**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I stepped out of Spanish, blinking blearily. There was a pounding in my ears, and I felt so…dizzy. I was vaguely aware of Rose talking next to me and sounding increasingly annoyed.

_Shit. Is it because I'm not listening?_

I tuned in to her, trying to ignore the way my vision blurred as I looked in front of me.

'-because she's a fucking nightmare. It's the last time I'm ever talking to her about stupid college.' Rose gritted her teeth, taking on a high-pitched tone. 'Rose honey, you don't need to go to college, you need to try to do something with your looks. College isn't for you.' She scowled. 'Fucking ugh.'

'What a bitch.' I said weakly, swallowing heavily as a wave of nausea washed over me.

Rose nodded, too caught up in her own shit to notice, thank fuck. 'I can't deal with it, Bella. She's a fucking psycho. I would just stay at Emmett's but I can't because of-' She bit her lip, her eyes flicking to mine carefully.

My headache was temporarily forgotten as I raised my eyebrow at her. 'Because of what?' I knew something was going on with Emmett. I wasn't stupid. The others had been dancing around it for the past few weeks.

I'd been worried when he didn't turn up to school on Monday and now it was Thursday and he still hadn't come in. I'd texted him twice but hadn't had any replies.

Even Paul wouldn't tell me what was going on. Not that he was being overly forthcoming since our kiss on the weekend anyway. Avoiding me was a better term for what he was doing.

I sighed.

Rose refused to look at me, her face perfectly blank. I knew her well enough to know that whatever it was, she wasn't going to tell me, otherwise she would have just said it.

'So, what did you say to your mom?' I said, changing the subject. We sat down at our lunch table and Rose's face relaxed slightly before her blue eyes flashed with anger and she continued her rant.

I looked down at the table, fighting the urge to be sick. The momentary distraction of worrying about Emmett didn't last and I was back to feeling fucking awful. I tugged on the sleeve of my sweater, trying to keep my mind off it.

Jasper sat down next to me, wrapping his arm around my back and kissing me on the cheek.

'Hey baby, how's your day going?' He asked me softly, his blue eyes sparkling as they looked into mine. He'd abandoned his attempt to keep things secret after Tuesday, when Lauren had walked up to me and called me a slut in the middle of the cafeteria. Rose would have slapped her if I hadn't stopped her.

I'd figured she knew what was going on, and besides I did kiss him while he was her boyfriend. I let her say her piece and then told her to fuck off. Jasper was pissed, Paul was amused and Embry was embarrassed but I brushed it off easily.

The past week had been so intense between Jasper and I that I was torn between wanting to run for the fucking hills and break down in his arms and tell him everything. It was really fucking with my head.

After he'd told me about Danny, I'd stayed over, not having it in me to leave him alone after such a heavy discussion.

He'd locked his bedroom door, making excuses to his parents about why he wasn't coming downstairs and we'd just lay on the bed, sharing a bottle of whisky and alternating between talking and…whatever it was we were doing when we had sex, it certainly wasn't just simple fucking anymore. He'd snuck me out the following day at lunchtime, after we'd spent over two hours in the shower.

'Good, good.' I told Jasper, meeting his gaze briefly before looking back down at my lap. Looking up made me feel worse. 'How was yours?' I said, unable to keep the smile off my face as his thumb rubbed into my side, despite the pain in my head.

He shrugged. 'Boring as fuck but it's school.'

I nodded weakly and his eyes narrowed. 'Are you okay?'

My stomach lurched again and I took in a shaky breath. 'Never been better.' I lied smoothly, willing my expression to stay neutral. The throbbing in my head was growing more prominent and I was fighting the urge to drop my head to the table and cry.

He made a concerned sound next to me.

'You sure?' He asked worriedly, placing his hand against my cheek. I sighed, leaning into his touch and closing my eyes, his hand felt so cool. 'Jesus Bella you're hot.'

I laughed, forcing down the sick feeling as I met his gaze. I quirked a brow at him. 'You only just figuring that out Jas?'

He rolled his eyes at me playfully before they washed with concern. 'Seriously though darlin', I think you have a fever.'

I shrugged, moving my eyes forwards again. I was fine. It was just a headache.

Paul and Embry sat down across us and I ignored the fact that as I stared at them, I saw two of each of them. I blinked, swallowing heavily.

I'm fine, I'm fine.

Panic rose in my chest a little as my vision swam and I forced myself to breathe. I'd never felt like this before.

I closed my eyes briefly, leaning my head against my hand.

'-Bella?' I heard Embry say. I dug my nails into the palm of my hand and lifted my head up, looking at him.

'Sorry, zoned out.' I lied, forcing a smile on my face. Paul watched me, his brown eyes calculating.

Embry smiled at me gently. 'That's okay I was just asking how works going.'

It was sweet of him to ask, but why today? Fuck.

'It's going okay.' I said to him, hoping the smile I gave him appeared like one and not a grimace of pain. Paul's eyes narrowed as my eyes flicked to him and I forced myself to continue. 'My boss is great and I'm learning a lot.' There was a roaring in my ears now.

Mind over matter Bella. I told myself sternly. You are not sick. You are fine.

I managed to talk with Embry for a few more minutes, diverting the conversation to him so I didn't have to speak.

Rose was in deep discussion with Jasper about a new show on Netflix and I rested my head on Jasper's shoulder, his fingers dancing on my thigh absent-mindedly as he spoke to her.

I bit back a grimace as the roaring in my ears increased and the pain in my head heightened.

Fuck. I need to get out of here for a minute.

I stepped up from the table, saying I was going for a smoke. Jasper went to get up, but Paul beat him to it, standing next to me before I even finished the sentence.

Jasper eyed him warily but shrugged, his eyes soft as they looked at me.

'I'm fine.' I reassured him, leaning down to kiss him lightly.

I left the cafeteria with Paul next to me and the minute we got out the doors he pulled me to the side, holding my face, his eyes scanning mine.

'Are you sick? What's going on?'

I fought the urge to drop my head to his chest and close my eyes. The black spots in my vision made me think they might not open again for a while and I really didn't want to pass out at school.

'I'm fine. Just tired.' I said shrugging.

Paul searched my eyes, his deep brown ones full of concern. 'You have a fever and you look awful.'

I glared at him and he winced. 'Awful as in unwell.'

'I'm fine.' I repeated.

'Did you not sleep? Was it a bad night again?'

'I slept.' I said curtly. 'I'm fine Paul.'

He shook his head at me. 'Bella just-

'I'm fine.' I interrupted. 'I think I'm going to smoke in my car so…see you later?'

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. He'd been a lot less playful this week with me, spending a lot of time looking moody and keeping his distance physically. This was the first day since we'd kissed that he'd touched me.

'I'll come.' He said, after a moment.

I shook my head. 'No, it's fine.'

'I want to come with you.' He insisted, his hand gently gripping my waist. Even through the nausea and the pain in my head, the sensation sent tingles through my skin.

'Won't that interfere with your whole "avoiding me" thing.' I said to him, raising my left eyebrow.

He swallowed, his jaw twitching. 'I'm not avoiding you.'

I stared at him pointedly and he sighed, pulling me further to the side of the corridor. Not that he needed to, we were the only ones there.

'Bella, I don't…' He shook his head slightly, 'I don't trust myself around you.'

I frowned at him, 'What's that supposed to mean?'

His eyes flashed with annoyance. 'It means that if that phone hadn't rung on the weekend I don't think I'd have stopped. I certainly didn't want to.'

I bit my lip, the pain in my head intensifying. I didn't want to have this conversation right now.

'Okay.' I said, closing my eyes briefly as another wave of nausea rushed over me. I felt like I was falling and my eyes sprung open just as Paul gripped my waist harder.

'What's wrong with you?' He said worriedly, searching my eyes.

'Nothing, I have to go.' I said abruptly, pulling out of his hold and walking away.

I pretended not to care when he let me.

**X**

I walked into history, sitting at the desk I shared with Jasper and Emmett and biting my lip as pain washed through me. Sitting in my car hadn't helped. There was a dull ache in my arm, spreading all the way up to my shoulder and the nausea was just getting worse. I felt dizzy and kind of spaced out, like I was dreaming.

Jasper sat down next to me, pulling out his stuff.

I put my head in my hands. There was a sharp pain behind my left eye and it wouldn't go away.

'Are you okay darlin'?' Jasper asked me worriedly,

'Fine.' I replied, but even the action of speaking left me feeling nauseous.

There was a loud rushing noise in my ears. I closed my eyes to try to make it feel better but I felt like I was spinning in circles.

I heard Jasper try to say something else but I couldn't make out what it was.

'Bella.' Jasper said firmly, cupping my cheek with his hand.

I opened my eyes blearily.

'I don't feel so good.' I admitted, my voice sounding wobblily.

'You look really pale darlin'.' Jasper said, sounding concerned. 'And you've definitely got a fever.'

His hand on my cheek was kind of cool and it was really soothing, I leant into it. The spinning increased in intensity.

Then everything went black.

I felt myself moving and I opened my eyes, immediately shutting them slightly because the light was bright, and it hurt.

We were outside.

My head was against a warm chest. I knew it was Jasper.

He was carrying me in his arms and was moving fairly quickly.

I moaned, my head really hurt.

He looked down at me sharply.

'Jesus darlin', you scared the shit out of me.' He said, his blue eyes intense as they scanned my face.

'What happened?' I managed to say, still feeling queasy.

He turned sideways to push through a set of double doors and I frowned, seeing the administration building.

'Oh dear, what happened?' I heard a shrill voice say, 'Esme.'

We went through another door and Jasper placed me down gently on a bed and knelt in front of me.

'Bella,'

A kind looking woman with a heart shaped face and brown eyes swam into view.

'What happened sweetheart?' She asked Jasper.

'I don't know, I think she has a fever, she's been kind of out of it all day and then in class just now she fainted.'

'Bella right?' The kind woman said, her voice was lovely and soft. 'I'm Esme, the nurse. How do you feel?'

I took in a shaky breath, I needed to act fine, otherwise she was going to call Renee and I had no idea what state she'd be in, or if she'd been drinking. Phil was away, as per fucking usual so he'd be no help.

I cleared my throat, 'I'm fine, I'm probably just dehydrated or something.' I said hastily, biting back a wince as the room started spinning solidly to the left.

'You don't look dehydrated honey, you look ill.' Esme said frowning. 'What hurts Bella?'

Come on Bella, you can do this, just suck it up for fucking 5 minutes and then you can go and lock yourself in a toilet stall till you feel better.

'I just have a headache.' I said, meeting her gaze steadily and avoiding the way my vision swam.

'A migraine maybe then.' She said to herself. 'But that doesn't explain the fever…Has this happened before?'

I considered what to say. The answer was no, but if I said no, she might be worried and call someone.

'Sure, all the time.' I lied smoothly, 'It'll pass.'

Esme looked at me with narrowed eyes. I felt like she saw straight through me and I gulped.

'Let me check your temperature.' She said, placing a thermometer in my mouth.

She turned to get something from the tray behind her and I took the thermometer out, holding it in my hand.

Jasper's eyes narrowed as he watched me but he didn't say anything.

I placed it back in my mouth as she turned back to me and she pulled it out, looking at it.

'Hmm, if anything your temp is kind of low.' She frowned at the thermometer and flashed me a suspicious look, her hand resting on my head. 'You feel hot…weird.'

'I just run warm.' I said, shrugging. Jasper shook his head at me. He opened his mouth but I shot him a look and he bit his lip.

'When you have migraines Bella, do you normally faint?' Esme asked me, concerned.

'Oh yeah.' I lied. 'Happens whenever I get the headaches.'

I squeezed my nails into my hand as the roaring in my ears increased.

She looked unconvinced.

'I've been to the doctor about it before, it's completely fine.' I continued, flashing her a smile.

It fell instantly as a searing pain shot across my temple.

Esme looked at me concerned, 'Bella, you can trust me, if something wrong, you need to tell me.'

The urge to just break down came across me then and I felt tears build behind my eyes.

Just to let go, let it all out and let this kind woman help me.

But she couldn't.

'I'm telling the truth.' I said resolutely. I felt sick at the disappointment I saw in her eyes.

'Okay then, well if you're fine, then you'd better go back to class.' She said sighing.

I swallowed heavily. I could do that, I could walk to class.

Jasper was looking at me with a strange expression on his face.

'Okay.' I said, getting up.

The room spun as I stood and a wave of nausea hit me so hard I think I broke the skin on the palm of my hand from how heavily I dug my nails into the skin.

I managed to walk out of the office upright, with Jasper next to me, and walk down the hallway before a wave of dizziness hit me and I stumbled, unsteady on my feet. I grabbed the wall next to me trying to breathe through my nose.

'What the fuck Bella?' Jasper said worriedly. 'Why did you tell her you were fine?'

I took a shaky breath.

'Jasper, just go back to class.' I said.

'No.' He said placing his hand on my lower back, 'Jesus darlin', I'm not leaving you like this.'

My stomach dropped under me and I knew I was gonna be sick. I saw a sign to a toilet in front of me and ran.

I burst into the stall and managed to get my head over the toilet before I threw up.

Cool hands grabbed my hair back and softly stroked my back as I was sick.

I placed my head on my forearms that were wrapped around the toilet seat and took a shaky breath.

The toilet flushed below me.

The cool hands left for a moment and then they were back with paper towels, one of them was wet which I used to wipe my mouth.

I sat back on my heels.

Jasper sat directly behind me, gently stroking my back.

I felt a little better but still so sick. I needed to get out of here.

Suddenly it occurred to me that Jasper was sitting with me and I gasped.

'Oh my god, Jasper I can't believe you had to see that.' I groaned.

He laughed, 'Don't worry Bella, I can't tell you how many times Emmett has thrown up near me, and in fact on me, I regret to say.'

He nudged me softly backwards and I leant back against him sighing.

His hands stroked my hair. 'Are you feeling any better baby?'

'I'm fine now.' I lied.

Internally I wasn't sure, I hadn't ever felt this sick before.

'Why did you lie to the nurse?' He said after a while.

I tensed in his arms.

'Bella, we're sitting on the fucking floor in the visitor bathroom where you just puked. Seriously, just talk to me.' He said into my hair.

I sighed, 'Because, she'd have called my mom.'

'And that would have been bad?'

'Yes.' I answered, turning to face him.

'Why?' He asked me softly.

There was a large pause.

'Because, she's probably been drinking.' I said, looking pointedly at the wall behind him.

He swallowed. 'What about your dad?'

'I don't have a dad.' I said, meeting his gaze. 'Not one that gives a fuck anyway.'

He didn't say anything, just looked at me, his blue eyes staring into mine. I waited to see pity in his eyes but if he felt it, he was good at hiding it.

I felt my eyes well up. His expression grew sombre as his thumb ran under my eye, catching a tear as it fell.

I never cried. Not in front of anyone.

He didn't say anything, he just wrapped his arms around me tightly and pulled me onto his lap.

I tucked my head into his chest and felt the hot tears pour down my face silently, while he stroked my back soothingly.

I found myself relaxing completely, breathing in the honey and spice scent that was so uniquely Jasper.

I don't know how long we were there for.

When I finally stopped crying, Jasper kissed my forehead, and then the tears under my eyes.

It suddenly occurred to me that I'd just cried and told him about Renee. It was bad enough I told Paul, let alone fucking Jasper. And I cried?

Fuck. What was I doing? How could I be so weak?!

I jumped up hastily, wincing as the motion caused another wave of nausea to rush through me.

He looked at me bewildered from the floor.

I washed my face in the sink and gulped down some of the tap water.

My head was spinning and I felt like I could pass out again at any moment. I needed to get out of here.

I turned to look at him feeling my heart slam into my chest as my eyes locked with his bright blue ones.

'I'm going to go home.' I said to him, swallowing heavily. 'Can you tell them that the nurse sent me home?'

Jasper stood up, frowning. 'Yeah, but Bella I don't want you to go on your own, I'm not even sure you should be driving, let me take you home.'

'I-' I sighed. 'I'll be fine. I'll figure it out.'

He walked up to me, his expression sad. 'Bella, please, let me help you.'

I can't. Don't you see that? I can't rely on you. I can't rely on anyone.

'I'm fine now Jas, really.' I lied. The pain in my head was increasing again and my vision was blurry.

'I really think I should go with you, you might ne-'

'Just fucking leave it.' I snapped.

Jasper flinched, a frown crossing his face. 'Okay then, bite my fucking head off.'

'I'm fine.' I repeated angrily. 'I'm going home. Will you just tell the fucking teacher?'

'Fine.' He snapped.

I turned back to the sink and ran some water over my face. I felt bad, he didn't deserve me to snap at him.

'Thanks J-'

The door slammed. I spun around. The bathroom was empty.

Fuck.

**X**

Renee was passed out on the sofa when I finally made it inside the flat. I didn't even lock the door behind me, I could barely walk.

I'd called Garett on the way home and told him I couldn't make it in. Luckily he was fine with it. I was working an extra shift on the weekend instead.

Something was really wrong. I knew it. I could feel it. I just…didn't know what to do.

I fell onto my bed, vaguely aware of my phone ringing next to me.

I woke to cool hands touching my head.

'Definitely a fever. But it's not the flu.' I heard someone mutter next to me.

I blinked blearily, my eyes widening as I saw Paul.

'What the_ fuck_ are you doing here?' I asked him warily, not bothering to hide the wince as my head throbbed.

I tried to get up, but he placed his hand on my arm, shaking his head. 'Stay lying down you're sick.'

I gritted my teeth. There was a deep ache coming from my arm and where he was pressing was really tender.

'Fuck.' I hissed, pulling his hand off my arm. Paul frowned at me for a moment.

'What?' He looked down at my arm and then his eyes widened slightly. I stared at him confused as he started rolling up my sleeve, his fingers gentle.

I blinked blearily. Wait a second, Paul was in my room, in my flat.

'How did you get in here?' I said sharply.

Paul's eyes met mine guiltily, 'I saw which flat you went into when we stopped here the other day and…your mom let me in.'

'What?' I growled. His brown eyes flashed with annoyance.

'Deal with it.' He snapped. 'I called you about twenty fucking times'

I stared at him incredulously. He ignored me, his hands undoing the bandage around my arm.

'You shouldn't be here, I'm fine.' I said angrily.

Paul rolled his eyes at me, 'Shut the fuck up and lie still.'

I was too tired and dizzy to fight with him, so I gave up.

'Did she…'

'She was fine Bella.' Paul said, avoiding my gaze. 'She thought I was someone called Gerald and let me in before passing out on the sofa again.'

I closed my eyes in despair. Fuck. My arm throbbed where he was touching it and I grimaced.

'What are you doing?' I asked him warily.

He finished taking the bandage off and swore quietly, moving my arm so I could see it.

The cut from the glass was raised and white looking.

'Ew.' I grimaced, averting my gaze.

He gently touched the skin around the wound. I hissed in pain and he raised an eyebrow at me.

'Ow.' I voiced out loud.

He shook his head at me, 'Yeah, I bet. You're lucky it's not worse. Did you even think to change the fucking bandage?' He sounded furious and I frowned at him.

'Um, no.' I admitted, feeling like an idiot. Truthfully, I'd forgotten all about my arm.

He peered at the wound, frowning. 'I think there's still glass in it. I'm so fucking stupid.'

'Why?' I frowned at him.

'I should have checked it out. I was going to, but then we kissed and I kind of got distracted.' He put his hand behind his head awkwardly.

I nodded slowly. 'Well, what's wrong with it?'

Paul looked at me pointedly. 'You have a fever, you threw up earlier, you're practically shaking right now and you've clearly been in pain all day, I think it's probably infected Bella.'

I stared at my arm. Fuck. Really?

I registered the rest of what Paul said and looked at him worriedly. 'How did you know I was sick?'

His jaw twitched. 'Jasper. I need to take you to hospital.'

'What?' I sat up panicking. 'Why?' He sighed.

'There's still glass in there and you need antibiotics. It's too late for stitches, which you should have had by the way. You're gonna have a hell of a scar. I should've fucking checked it.'

I frowned at him, 'Why? It's not your fault I didn't look after it. How do you know so much about this anyway?'

His brown eyes left mine to gaze at the bed, 'My mom was a nurse. When the cancer was everywhere, she ended up in hospital, in palliative care. The other nurses used to keep me distracted by letting me do rounds with them…only for stitches and things like that but I picked up some stuff.'

'Oh.' I said carefully. He hadn't talked about his mom before, I wasn't sure if I should comment on it or not.

He laughed slightly as he looked at my expression. 'God we are so alike.' He said amused, the right side of his mouth curving up in a slight smile.

A wave of nausea rushed through me and I sat up suddenly, gripping the sheets.

Paul swore, grabbing my bin just in time to place it in front of me and I retched into it. There was nothing in me to throw up, so it was just bile.

I groaned. 'How have I thrown up in front of you and Jasper in the same fucking day.'

'Come on, hospital.'

'No.' I shook my head. 'I can't Paul. They're not just going to give me antibiotics without a parent and if they call her and she shows up like this, they'll take me away from her. Anyway, I don't think I have insurance. I can't…'

'It'll be fine. I have an idea.'

I glared at him, struggling to get out of the bed. 'Forget it, it's not happening.' I gestured towards the door. 'Go home. Please.' My legs gave out from under me and I started to fall.

Paul made a frustrated noise and grabbed my waist, steadying me. I looked up at him and his brown eyes locked with mine. I stared into them for a moment feeling my heart race.

Paul's hands slid down my waist and I frowned at him.

'Paul this is so not the right time to-'

He grabbed the back of my thighs and picked me up.

'Feel me… up.' I finished, confused.

He rolled his eyes at me, 'I'm taking you to the car and we're going to hospital. I don't want to hear a fucking word from you about it, okay?'

I started to protest, and he growled, 'Bella.'

I dropped my head to his shoulder in annoyance. His T-shirt smelt like him and his arms felt nice wrapped around my back like this.

I succumbed, snuggling my head into his neck.

'Hold on to me.' He ordered. I wrapped my legs around his waist and held onto his shoulders.

'God you're like a fucking furnace.' Paul commented above my head. I felt him lean down and grab my phone and keys from the bed, his other hand resting against my back stabilising me.

'Can I brush my teeth?' I asked weakly.

He snorted, 'Okay.'

I didn't bother lifting my head from his shoulder to look at Renee as we left.

**X**

'So how did you do this again?' The doctor asked me, concern written all over her face as she took the glass out of my arm. I was making a conscious effort to avoid looking. She'd had to reopen the wound and pour disinfectant over it. They'd given me a dose of anti-sickness medicine after Paul told them I'd been throwing up and I'd been given some antiobiotics to take.

'Ow.' I protested as I looked down and saw the tweezer's dig deeper into my arm. I was clutching Paul's hand tightly in mine.

'Your arm is numb…' He pointed out, smirking at me.

I glared at him, 'Well it looks painful.'

He raised an eyebrow at me, an amused expression on his face.

'So, Miss Baker?'

Paul's idea for getting us seen was to go to a hospital over an hour away and use his step-mother's name because his dad 'has excellent insurance so just fucking use it.'

He was extremely smug that it had worked.

'I was changing a headlight at work.' Doctor Weybridge looked confused.

'I work in a garage.' I clarified.

'Right.' She said, frowning again, 'Why didn't you get it checked out?'

'Just super busy.' I said truthfully.

Her pager went off and she looked at it, making a tutting noise.

'Okay Hannah, I've taken the glass out. It is infected, but we've caught it in time. Your bloods look good. I'll send in a nurse to wrap this up and then hook you to an IV with some fluids and painkillers. We'll give you a prescription for more at home. You were right to come in, another day or two and you could have been at risk of causing permanent damage to your arm, not to mention going into septic shock.'

Paul's face went ashen and my stomach dropped out from under me. I felt his hand tense around mine.

Fuck, I didn't even realise that could happen. What if Paul hadn't come to get me?

She made a humming sound, 'Next time you find yourself injured, just go get it checked out, okay?'

I nodded sheepishly.

The doctor left and I stared down at the ground.

Paul moved closer to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and kissing my head.

'You didn't know.'

I looked at him worriedly, 'I just didn't think I was this stupid. I'm good at taking care of myself. I-'

Paul cupped my cheek in his hand, his brown eyes staring into mine. 'I know you are.'

I bit my lip, 'Paul, if you hadn't made me, I wouldn't have come…'

He grimaced. 'I know.' His thumb stroked my cheek softly, 'You feeling better?'

As I stared into his deep brown eyes I felt my stomach flip and my breath caught in my chest.

'Yeah.' I managed to say, my heartbeat thundering in my ears. His hand tightened around mine as his eyes swirled with unreadable emotion.

'Bella I-'

'Hi, Hannah. I'm Sam, I'm here to hook you up to an IV.' A soft voice spoke in front of me.

I turned my eyes towards the sound. Paul moved back from me, his hand still tangled with mine.

'Thank you.' I said gratefully you the man in front of me. He looked to be in his 40's, with grey hair and stormy blue eyes.

He nodded, gently grabbing my other arm and tightening a cuff around my bicep. He turned my palm away from him, his eyes searching the back of my hand for a vein.

'How are you feeling?' He asked me.

'Fine now.' I replied, a strike of apprehension coming through me at the sight of the needle in his hand.

He looked up at Paul, 'It's good your boyfriend brought you in.'

'Oh, he's not-'

'We're not-'

Paul and I broke off, looking at each other.

'We're friends.' I finished, turning back to Sam.

His eyes twinkled, 'Okay, my apologies.'

I grimaced as he ran his thumb over my vein. I was a little squeamish apparently.

'I think Optimus Prime should have been defeated by Megatron.' Paul said next to me.

I turned to him incredulously. 'What the fuck?'

He shrugged. 'I just think Megatron was stronger than him.'

'Are you fucking high Paul? Optimus mother-fucking prime is not weaker than Megatron.'

'I just think Optimus is kind of over-rated. Besides Megatron is clearly superior, he can fly.'

I spluttered. 'How can you even say that? Optimus is the guy. He could fly if he wanted too he just doesn't need to most of the time…Plus he beats Megatron easily because Megatron is a weak little bitch.'

Paul laughed, his eyes sparkling at me. 'Okay you're right, Optimus is the best.' Paul nodded.

I stared at him, confused. 'What the fuck are you-'

'All done.' Sam said cheerfully.

'Huh?' I said, turning back to him. He looked down at my arm and then raised an eyebrow at me.

I looked down, shocked to see the IV attached into my vein.

'I didn't even feel anything.' I said slowly.

'You were distracted.' Sam smiled, his eyes flicking to Paul.

I turned back to look at him and he was smirking at me, his brown eyes dancing with amusement.

'So, you just said that to distract me?' I asked softly.

Paul shrugged. 'I would never insult Prime, he's awesome.'

I stared at him, a strange twisting sensation happening in my chest.

'So, this should be done in about 30 minutes. I'm just going to bandage you up.' Sam said, placing my arm on his lap as he took out some gauze.

**X**

'My house is that way…' I said to Paul, slurring slightly. Sam had given me some strong painkillers for my arm and I was feeling a little loopy.

Paul's fingers drummed on the wheel. 'You can stay at mine, I don't want you on your own.'

'Sam said I'm fine.' I said, drawing out the word fine a little longer than necessary. I laughed. That was kind of funny.

I looked at Paul. His jaw was kind of tense as his eyes surveyed the road in front of us. My eyes slid down his cheeks, taking a moment to stare at his full lips. A strong urge to kiss him washed over me and I giggled.

'You're so pretty.' I sighed.

The corners of his mouth turned upwards. 'Oh yeah?'

'Uh-huh.' I said, making an excited noise as we pulled into a drive through. I was really hungry.

'What do you want trouble?' Paul said, turning to me.

I leant over the console to stare at the menu. 'Nuggets, lots of nuggets. The most nuggetses they have.' I said, smiling widely at him.

He laughed, his brown eyes lighting up.

'Nuggets it is beautiful.'

The food didn't take long and I eagerly tucked into the chips as we drove.

'Oi, you gonna leave any of those for me?' Paul teased.

I grabbed a chip and placed it at his mouth. He bit my fingers playfully before taking the chip, his tongue brushing my skin. I shivered.

'So good.' He declared, moaning. I watched him my mouth slightly open, the sensation of his tongue against my fingers had left my heart hammering in my chest.

'Can I get another one?' He asked cheekily, knocking his chin gently against my hand. I realised with a shock my hand was still hovering by his mouth and pulled it back sheepishly.

I passed him another chip, careful this time to avoid coming into contact with his mouth.

I took one for myself, enjoying the salty goodness.

I stared out the window, watching the cars pass.

I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up the car was parked and Paul was unbuckling my seatbelt.

'Did I fall asleep?' I tried to ask but my voice sounded all jumbled and husky.

'Yeah.' Paul said softly, 'Come on, you can go straight to bed.'

When we got inside, I yawned, kicking off my shoes and walking up to Paul who was placing the takeout on the kitchen counter. I lay my head on his shoulder and he turned, wrapping me in his arms.

'You okay?' He asked me, concerned. 'Want to go to bed?

I shook my head, reaching for a nugget.

He smirked at me and wrapped his hands around my waist, lifting me up and placing me on the counter. I tried to ignore the tingle that went through my body at the sensation of his large hands on my body.

'Let's heat them up.' He said, taking the nugget out of my hand and grabbing an oven tray. He switched on the oven and put them inside.

I pouted at him.

He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and handed it to me. 'Do you feel sick at all?' He questioned, placing his thumb under my chin and tilting my head up towards him.

My head felt all light and fluttery. 'Nope. Nope. No sir, nope.'

He laughed at me, his brown eyes filled with amusement.

'How high are you on a scale of 1-10?'

'3.14159-'

Paul clapped his hand over my mouth, a wide grin on his face.

'26-' I mumbled into his palm. I licked it and Paul pulled it back, making a face.

'Ew.' He went to wipe his saliva covered hand on my face and I moved back, giggling.

'Stop it.' I laughed, grabbing his wrist with my good hand. The other one was still pretty numb.

He grinned boyishly, tugging out of my grip gently.

My heart jumped as I registered the proximity of his body to mine. He was standing between my legs, his hand on the counter behind me and his face only centimetres from mine. I could feel his warm breath against my mouth.

A flashback of us in this position previously rushed through my head and my breathing hitched.

Paul's eyes dropped down to my mouth for a moment before he pulled back, stepping away from me.

He glanced at his feet before back up at me.

'How's Jasper.' He asked, his jaw twitching.

I frowned. 'I don't know...'

'What does that mean?' Paul asked me, his eyes curious.

'It's just a bit…much.' I said sighing. I sat up, staring at my hand.

'How?'

'I don't know I just…'

Paul sighed softly, 'You have feelings for him?'

I looked up at him. There was an unreadable expression in his eyes.

'I can't.' I said quietly.

'You either do or you don't.' Paul said, raising an eyebrow at me. He looked kind of mad.

I understood why. Jasper was his best friend and he didn't want me to lead him on.

'Don't worry, I won't let it get far enough to hurt him.' I said, looking into his eyes.

Paul shook his head slightly. 'Bella that's-'

Paul's phone started ringing. He took it out and looked at it. I saw the name Kate.

My stomach dropped but I forced a smile on my face.

'You should answer.' I said to him, forcing my tone to say light.

He raised an eyebrow at me.

'Seriously.' I said, smiling harder and hoping it didn't look like a grimace.

Paul answered the phone.

'Hey.' He said, staring at me.

'_Hey sexy, I'm just lying here naked, thinking about you and how much I want your big-._' Paul stepped back from me, shooting me a glance before walking out the room.

A sick feeling twisted through my stomach.

'Oh yeah?' I heard him say cockily. A tight feeling spread across my chest.

I lay back on the counter, my heart thundering in my ears. The thought of him talking to her made me feel sick, and just…angry.

'Fucking bitch.' I said out-loud, glaring at the ceiling. What kind of name is Kate anyway. Stupid. I placed my hand on my forehead, closing my eyes. 'Fucking…stupid bitch…had to fucking…him.' I muttered.

Paul cleared his throat and I leant up on my forearms, meeting his gaze. He was standing between my legs.

'Who's a bitch?' He asked me, his eyebrow quirked.

'Me.' I lied.

He frowned at me. 'Why?'

'Doesn't matter.' I said cheerfully. 'How's Kate?'

He shrugged. 'Fine.'

'If you want to invite her over, I can just go.' I said slowly. 'I should probably go anyway.'

Paul made a face. 'What's the matter?'

'Nothing.' I said, sitting up. 'I'm gonna go. You should ask _Kate_ to come over.'

'I don't want_ Kate_ to come over.' Paul said, mockingly. 'You know, you told me to answer the phone…'

'It's not that.' I said stubbornly. I got off the counter and started to move away.

'Bella.' Paul said roughly, trapping me by placing his hands either side of me on the counter.

I looked away from him, trying desperately to ignore the butterflies swarming in my stomach.

'What's the problem?' He asked me, irritation creeping into his tone.

'Nothing.' I protested. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed lightly.

He made an annoyed sound. 'Bella.'

I looked up at him, regretting it instantly. His brown eyes were staring intently at me and my breath caught. My hands tightened on his chest. His skin was hot through his shirt and I could feel his heart beating steadily under my palms.

Paul shivered, his eyes darkening slightly. My lower stomach started to ache, a tingling sensation spreading across my skin. I was breathing heavier and so was he. His heart started beating faster under my fingers. I started to lean up towards him and for a second I thought he was going to kiss me. Then he took a shuddering breath and stepped back from me, his hands forming fists at his sides.

'I don't want you to go.' He said softly, his eyes pleading with me.

I stared at him for a moment. 'Okay.'

The oven started beeping and he bent down to get it while I tried to calm my thundering heart.

**X**

We ate the nuggets and then went upstairs.

'Um, do you want to sleep in my room? I can sleep on the sofa downstairs.' Paul said awkwardly as we stepped into his room.

'It's your bed.' I said shrugging. 'I can sleep downstairs if you want.'

'No.' Paul shook his head. 'You need to sleep properly, the doctor said you need rest.'

I nodded. 'Can I borrow a T-shirt?'

'Yeah.' Paul went into his cupboard and pulled out a grey T-shirt.

I held it out in front of me. 'I might have a quick shower. I feel kind of gross after all the…throwing up and stuff.'

Paul nodded. 'You know where everything is. Careful not to get your arm wet.'

I walked into the bathroom.

Showering whilst trying to keep one arm dry was way harder than I'd predicted. It took me almost 10 minutes to get my jeans off and then turning on the shower was hard.

I got out the shower, managing to successfully avoid getting my hand wet and then brushed my teeth using Paul's toothbrush.

I hoped he wouldn't care.

I stepped into Paul's room with my towel.

He was standing by the wardrobe in nothing but a pair of bright red boxers. He turned to me when I walked in and my eyes slid down his body, lingering on his hard stomach and the planes of his chest before running down his muscled thighs and his tight, form fitting boxers. I took in a shaky breath.

'You okay?'

I looked up at his face. 'Yeah, just kind of hard getting undressed and dressed with the arm.' I said, holding it up.

'Oh, yeah.' He said, nodding slightly.

I bit my lip, 'Um, Paul, can you…' I gestured to the T-shirt on the bed.

'You want me to help get you dressed?' He said, his voice an octave lower.

'Just the T-shirt.' I said nervously, 'I can handle the underwear it's just-'

'Yeah.' He interrupted. He swallowed heavily, 'We can put it on over the towel?'

'Yeah.' I said hurriedly. I wrapped it around myself tighter, tucking the corner of the towel into the front.

Paul stepped towards me with the T-shirt in his hands. I raised my hands above my head and he carefully placed my hands through the holes, his hand gentle as it manipulated my sore arm. He stepped closer as he pulled the shirt over my head and I felt my towel start to come undone.

'Paul the t-'

The material fell to the floor and Paul made a strangled sound. I couldn't see him because my head was still in the T-shirt. He hurriedly pulled the rest of the T-shirt down. I was suddenly extremely thankful he was a big guy so the shirt came to my upper thigh.

His eyes were fixed on the floor as he stepped back from me.

'Thank you.' I said gratefully, bending down to pick up the towel with my good hand. I shimmied some underwear on with my good hand while Paul looked the other way.

'No problem.' He said in a strange voice.

I walked over to the bed and got in.

He placed a bottle of water next to me.

'I'll be downstairs, call me if you need anything.' He said softly.

He turned to leave and I grabbed his hand.

'Paul, wait.' I said, biting my lip. 'I don't think…I don't want to be on my own.' I admitted, toying with my bandage.

He stared at me, a tortured expression crossing his face. I frowned but it disappeared before I could ask him about it.

'I-'

'You don't have to.' I said hurriedly. 'I'm sorry.'

Paul sighed softly, walking to the door.

'Night.' I said resignedly, looking down at my lap.

The door closed and I sighed pathetically.

'What's wrong?'

I looked up sharply to see Paul, his hand hovering by the light switch, the door next to him shut.

'Nothing.' I said, unable to hide the smile on my face. He was staying.

He turned off the light and walked to the bed, getting in next to me. We lay there facing each other for a moment. It wasn't completely dark in his room so I could still see his face clearly.

'Thank you for taking care of me.' I said softly, reaching out to touch his hand. He wrapped his hand around mine, kissing it gently.

I shivered and he smiled 'It's nothing.'

I closed my eyes.

A searing pain in my arm woke me up and I whimpered. My mouth felt really dry and my head was pounding. I must have been asleep for a few hours but if I was dreaming I couldn't remember.

I was wrapped up in Paul's arms, his arm across my waist and his head tucked above my shoulder. I could feel him breathing steadily against my neck.

I flinched as another jolt of pain hit me.

Paul stirred behind me.

'Are you okay?' He asked, his voice husky from sleep.

'Just my arm.' I said, wincing. He moved from behind me and turned the light on next to him.

I turned to look at him, his hair was a complete mess and his deep brown eyes were hooded with sleep as they gazed at me.

My heart thumped in my chest.

'Let me get you some medicine.' He yawned, running a hand through his hair and sitting up.

'Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.' I bit my lip. 'I can get it.'

'Shut up.' He said, getting to his feet. He walked over to his desk, opening the bag they gave us at the hospital.

His eyes squinted as he read the label.

'Do you need an anti-sickness one too? You feeling sick?'

I shook my head at him.

'Okay you can take two of these, and one of these.' He grabbed the pills and came to sit in front of me.

He held them out, a water bottle in his other hand.

I took them, taking big gulps of water. Paul placed the back of his hand on my cheek.

'You feel kind of hot again. The medicine should help anyway.'

I leaned into his touch. My arm was throbbing.

He looked at me concerned. 'Is it really hurting?'

'It's okay.' I lied.

He rolled his eyes at me, taking the water and nudging me to lie back down. He placed the bottle next to him and switched off the light, lying down next to me.

I lay there staring at him. A minute ago, we were cuddling but that was when we were asleep.

He studied my face for a moment before tugging me to him and wrapping me in his arms, I buried my face into his neck, sighing. His hand stroked up my back.

'It should kick in soon.'

I pulled back to look at him and his brown eyes burned into mine. I leant forward slightly, brushing my lips over his cheek.

'Thank you.' I said gratefully. His hand slid up my back and into my hair, pressing my head forward slightly so he pressed his forehead against mine.

I sighed, feeling his breath against my mouth. A shiver went through my body.

'Paul.' I whispered, staring into his eyes. He pulled back slightly, swallowing heavily.

His hand came up between us and his thumb ran across my bottom lip lightly.

'You're so beautiful.' He said softly. My heart skipped a beat as I looked into his eyes.

I kissed his thumb gently. 'So are you.'

He inhaled shakily. 'Turn around, you need to sleep.'

My eyes dropped down to his mouth for a second before I looked back up at him. I wanted to kiss him, but I knew I couldn't.

I turned in his arms and he pulled me against him, his arm settling in between my boobs. He kissed my neck softly, sending tingles down my spine.

'Night Bella.'

'Night.' I whispered.

It took me ages to fall asleep, my body acutely aware of his behind me.

* * *

**A/N: Another update coming tomorrow :)**

**Sorry it's been a while. Things have been manic. Catching up on this and Irresistible now so keep an eye out. **

**Thank you for following the story! Please R&R. **

**lots of love,**

**Creaatingmadness xxx**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

I woke up to a series of texts from Jasper.

**Are you okay?**

**I'm sorry I stormed off, you just keep pushing me away…Call me, I'm worried about you. **

**Just let me know you're okay. **

I put my head in my hands, sighing.

'Want some cereal?' Paul asked me playfully, tucking into a bowl of cocoa pops.

'No.' I said grumpily, sipping my coffee.

He raised an eyebrow at me. 'You gotta eat something, the doc said the antibiotics work best with food.'

'I'm not hungry.' I snapped.

Paul just smirked at me. 'Aren't you a delight this morning.'

I stuck my tongue out at him and he smiled, pushing the bowl of cereal towards me.

'Just a few bites then.' I made a face and he moved towards me, pouting. 'Please bab-Bella?'

I raised an eyebrow at the slip before taking the spoon from him and taking a few mouthfuls of cereal.

'Happy?' I said with my mouth full.

'Ecstatic.' Paul grinned. 'We should get ready. Sorry I didn't think about grabbing you clothes when I took you to the hospital. Just borrow something of my father's plastic bitch of a wife's to wear.'

I grimaced at him. 'Plastic bitch?'

He shrugged. 'You'll see what I mean if you ever have the displeasure of meeting her.'

'When are they coming back?' I said, standing up.

'Who fucking knows?' Paul said bitterly.

I stepped towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist. 'Do they call to check in?'

He snorted 'God no. I get emails from my father every week but he doesn't ask me how I am, just updates me on how much fun they're having.'

I pressed my head to his chest lightly, not bothering to say anything, he wouldn't appreciate it anyway. His fingers danced up my back.

'Come on trouble.' He said, kissing my head. I made a noise in his chest and held on tighter. I just wanted to hang out with him today, not have to go to school.

'I can't be bothered.' I said grumpily.

Paul pulled back, looking into my eyes. 'You have to face Jasper sometime.' He said, his expression unreadable.

I bit my lip. I hadn't even thought about having to talk to Jasper.

My phone started ringing and I picked it up with a sigh.

Jasper.

'Answer if you want.' Paul said casually, his eyes burning into mine.

I swiped across the screen, bringing it to my ear. 'Hey.'

'Hey. You answered.' Jasper sounded kind of surprised.

I sighed. 'I wasn't ignoring you. I was sick.'

'Still from yesterday? Are you okay?' He sounded worried.

'Um.' I floundered. After Jasper told me about Danny, I felt really uncomfortable with lying to him. It just seemed...wrong.

I looked at Paul. He raised an eyebrow at me, eating his cereal.

'I'm okay now.' I inhaled, 'Paul took me to hospital.'

Paul choked on his cereal and looked at me with a bewildered expression.

'_What?_ I told you, you shouldn't have been fucking alone yesterday. What happened? Why didn't you call me?'

'I wasn't really in a state of mind to call anyone.' I said slowly.

'But you called Paul?' He sounded annoyed.

I sighed, putting my head in my hand. 'No… I didn't. He just showed up at my house. Can we talk about this later? I'm coming to school.'

'I just- okay.' Jasper made an exasperated noise. 'But you're okay now?'

'I'm okay. I'll see you in a few hours.'

His voice softened, 'Okay.'

I hung up.

'He's annoyed.' I said with a groan.

Paul's phone started ringing and he laughed humourlessly. 'I'll say.'

'Hey man.' He answered, glaring at me.

'Well I was worried about her...' He shook his head, 'Dude, I didn't know I'd have to take her to hospital until I saw her and honestly man, calling you wasn't really on my mind at the time.'

I bit my lip. Whoops.

He winced, 'No, she stayed here.' He looked at me. 'Yeah, she's still here…No, she's upstairs.' He lied.

He blew out a breath. 'Jasper I'm not going to have this fucking conversation _again_.'

He glanced at me and walked out the room.

'Fuck.' I said out loud.

He walked back in a few minutes later, slamming his phone on the counter.

'Thanks for that Bella.' He growled.

'Fuck, I'm sorry.' I said, biting my lip.

Paul sighed, closing his eyes briefly. 'It's fine. It's not you.'

'What um, what conversation were you referring to exactly?' I asked, staring at him.

He opened his eyes and stared back, 'Nothing.'

I huffed. 'Okay.'

'Leave it alone. I'm going to have a shower. Be ready in 15.' He said, shoving his bowl in the sink. It made a loud clang against the steel.

'Paul, I'm sorry.' I apologised.

His jaw twitched. 'You shouldn't have to lie to him anyway.' He said in a low voice.

'Are you pissed at me?' I asked, stepping closer to him, my chest constricting.

'No.' He said in an irritated tone, glancing at me for a moment before walking out of the kitchen.

I sighed.

15 minutes later I was standing in the kitchen dressed and drinking some more coffee. I'd found a cute white and blue sundress in Paul's step-moms wardrobe which I'd had to put on with no bra or underwear because I hadn't taken anything with me. I was going to ask Paul to quickly stop at my house so I could run in and grab some.

He walked into the kitchen, his hair wet from the shower, wearing a light green T-shirt and a pair of jeans. He looked really good.

'I made some more coffee.' I said quietly, glancing at him from under my eyelashes.

He nodded, avoiding my gaze. 'Thanks.'

I took another sip before holding out my mug to him. His brown eyes flicked up to me for a moment before he took the cup from me, his fingers brushing against mine.

'You look nice.' He said throatily.

'So, do you.' I said, smiling. 'Can we stop by my house on the way to school though?'

'Why?' Paul asked, placing the mug on the counter.

'Just need to make sure Renée is still alive and I need to grab my books.' _Plus I have no underwear on. _

'Okay.' He said carefully. 'Let's go then, there might be traffic.'

He placed down the mug and went to move out of the kitchen but I stepped in front of him.

'I'm sorry if Jasper's annoyed at you. I don't want to come between you.' I said, touching his arm.

Paul raised an eyebrow at me. 'Why would you come between us?'

I frowned at him, 'I don't know…'

'Look Jasper's just pissed because he cares about you, and I should have told him that I took his girl to hospital.'

'His girl?'

Paul fixed his eyes on me, his expression unreadable. 'Aren't you?'

'I-' I floundered.

Paul nodded stiffly. 'Let's go.'

He walked out the room and I stared after him, a hard lump forming in my throat.

**X**

We got to school like twenty minutes before the bell rung. A good 15 minutes before I normally got there. Paul got out the car and jogged off to the other side of the parking lot where Kate was standing. He hugged her, his hands sliding down to cup her ass. She threw back her head laughing as he whispered something in his ear. He pulled back and smiled at her. She ran her hand down his chest and I had to force myself not to scowl.

I hated her. I looked away, unable to watch anymore.

Seeing Jasper's car pull up I walked up to him, nervous anticipation curling in my stomach.

He got out the car, staring at me for a moment. He was in black jeans and a plain fitted white T-shirt that stood out against his tanned skin.

'Hey.' I said softly.

Jasper tucked his hair behind his ear as he stared at me. He nodded stiffly. 'Hey.'

I bit my lip. 'I'm sorry I didn't call you.'

He sighed, his blue eyes flashing with concern. 'What happened?'

I swallowed. 'My arm got infected.'

'Your arm?' Jasper frowned.

'Yeah, I hurt it, remember?' I held up my bandaged arm.

He nodded, 'Yeah. You hurt it at the garage right?'

I breathed out slowly. 'Um no. I don't want to lie to you, but I don't want to talk about how it really happened either.'

Jasper stared at me for a moment, a multitude of emotions flashing in his eyes in quick succession. 'I -Okay.' He said quietly.

'So, your arm was infected, and then what? Paul showed up and took you to hospital?'

I hated the look of hurt in his eyes.

'Um yeah.' I said, glancing at my feet.

'He's been to your house before?' Jasper said in a weird voice.

I grimaced and looked up at him. 'It's a flat and no, well…he's been outside before.'

Jasper sighed, 'Are you okay now?'

'Yeah I'm good.' I said, biting my lip. 'Jas I'm sorry I didn't...'

'I just want you to trust me.' Jasper said with a frustrated sigh.

I swallowed heavily. 'Jasper, I do trust you. It's not that…'

'What then?' He asked, his blue eyes intense. 'Why won't you let me in?'

'I can't.' I said, squeezing my eyes shut.

He sighed, wrapping me into a hug. I pressed my face into his neck, breathing him in and feeling the usual calm that his presence brought wash over me. He smelt so good.

'I'm sorry.' I murmured against his skin. He tightened his hold on me for a second before pulling back slightly.

He cupped my cheek in his hand. 'Call me next time, don't just…shut me out.'

'I'm so-

'Stop apologising.' He said with a sigh. 'I get it. I get _you_.'

I bit my lip.

He swallowed. 'I know you're scared to let me in. I know you don't want to trust me.'

'I want to.' I said softly, 'I just-'

He cupped my cheek in his hand. 'Just promise me you'll call next time. I was worried about you. You don't have to tell me details and if you don't want me there, I won't come, but I want to know you're okay.'

I felt my heart jump as I stared into his eyes. His words were sweet, but they also made me want to run. He cared. He cared way too much. And the worst part was. I cared too.

I heard footsteps behind me, and he looked over my shoulder for a moment before leaning down and pressing his warm lips to mine, his hand still cupping my cheek.

Thank god. That moment was way too intense.

His tongue licked my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, moaning as he slid his tongue into my mouth, flicking it against mine. He tasted like toothpaste and just Jasper. The usual electricity rushed through me and I felt my body instantly respond, my nipples hardening and my stomach coiling tightly.

Jasper angled his head to kiss me deeper and I gasped into his mouth as he pulled my body closer to his. It was sensual and intense and I felt warmth spread through my lower stomach. He groaned softly as I tangled my tongue with his, sliding my hands into his silky hair and tugging slightly.

He pulled back, placing a more gentle kiss against my lips, then looked up.

'Hey man.' He said over my shoulder, a smirk crossing his lips. I turned my head and saw Paul standing there, Kate attached to his arm.

'Hey _dude_.' Paul said, a casual smile in place on his face. His eyes were flickering with something I couldn't place.

I turned in Jasper's arms to face them and he wrapped his arms around my stomach lightly, placing a kiss on my neck. I shivered.

Paul's jaw twitched.

'Hey Jasper, Bella.' Kate said, smiling at us.

'Hey Kate, how are you?' Jasper asked her nicely.

'I'm good. Bella we have PE together right?'

I stared at her for a moment. God I hated her.

'Right.' I replied in a clipped tone.

'Coach is such a hard ass isn't he? I seriously can't be bothered to go.' She said, rolling her eyes. She turned to Paul, smiling at him sickeningly. 'Is he like that in football practice babe?'

Babe? I grimaced.

The side of Paul's mouth twitched as he watched me, before turning to Kate.

'I guess yeah, but it's appreciated. He gets results.'

Lauren and Jessica walked past us glaring at me.

'Slut.' Jessica said under her breath.

'What was that?' I piped up loudly, raising an eyebrow.

She scowled, scurrying away.

Jasper made an amused sound in my hair.

Embry walked up to us, slapping Paul on the ass hard as he stepped into the circle.

Jasper and I laughed while Kate looked shell-shocked.

'Hey baby.' Paul purred to Embry, waggling his eyebrows. 'Spank me again.'

Embry elbowed him in the side hard and Paul winced.

I stepped out of Jasper's arms to hug Embry.

'Hey E, you okay?' I asked him, ruffling his hair.

He swatted my hand away playfully.

'I'm good yeah. You feeling better?'

I turned to glare at Jasper and he held up his hands.

'I didn't say anything.' He defended.

I didn't bother asking Paul, I knew he wouldn't. I locked eyes with him for a moment before looking away.

'Ben told me you passed out in class.' Embry said, looking between me and Jasper with a confused expression.

Oh.

'Um yeah.' I said, biting my lip. 'I'm fine, was just a weird migraine thing that happens sometimes.'

'I'm going for a smoke, coming Jas?' I asked, offering him an apologetic smile and holding out my hand. He shook his head at me and then nodded, taking my hand in his.

'Sure darlin'.'

We left Kate and Paul and walked to the smoking area.

'I'm sorry Jas, I shouldn't have assumed you'd said something.' I apologised, squeezing his hand.

He sighed, rubbing his thumb into my hand but didn't say anything. He was kind of pissed at me, I could tell.

I kissed him on the neck gently. 'I'll make it up to you.' I said softly in his ear.

He hummed, his hands tickling my bare thighs.

'Did you have practice this morning?' I asked him as I lit my cigarette. He opted out, sitting on the wall in front of me.

'No, I just went for a run.' He patted his stomach, his blue eyes flashing with amusement 'Had to do something about all that pizza you made me eat on Wednesday. You're gonna make me fat.'

I rolled my eyes, stepping in between his legs and slipping my hand under his T-shirt and running my fingers over the hard planes of his stomach.

'Too late.' I teased.

The corner of his mouth turned up, 'Oh yeah?'

I slipped my hand slightly lower, drifting it across his lower stomach, he tensed in reaction, his eyes darkening.

He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me closer, ripping the cig out my mouth and throwing it on the floor.

'Hey.' I objected playfully.

He smirked and tugged me closer, pressing his mouth to mine.

'Jasper.' I breathed, wrapping my arms around his neck as I kissed him back, sighing in pleasure as his tongue slid into my mouth.

The kiss grew hot quickly and he moaned softly into my mouth his hands sliding down to grab my ass. I tangled my fingers in his hair as my stomach coiled tightly with desire.

He pulled back breathing heavily, his blue eyes stormy as they looked into mine. 'I want you.' He murmured, his thumb brushing my bottom lip.

'I want you too.' I said huskily, sucking his thumb into my mouth.

'Well this is cosy.' Rosalie remarked from behind us. I pulled back from Jasper regretfully, turning to face her.

'You're interrupting.' I said playfully.

'Clearly.' She smirked. 'Can I talk to you B?'

'Yeah. Of course.' I said, concerned. I kissed Jasper lightly on the mouth.

'See you later cowboy.' I teased.

A sexy smile crossed his face. 'See you later baby.'

Rose and I walked off. 'Everything okay?' I asked her.

She nodded slowly as we came to her car and I got in the passenger seat next to her.

We were silent for a while and I was just about to say something when Rose blurted.

'Emmett's mom is dying.'

She was looking down at her lap. When she looked up at me, her blue eyes glistening with unshed tears.

'Fuck.' I said in shock. 'Wha-When…'

Rose swallowed, blinking back her tears. 'We found out just before you got here. It's brain cancer.'

'Jesus, that's horrible.' I said, grabbing her hand in mine. '_Fuck_, are you okay? Is Emmett?'

Rose shook her head. 'Emmett is trying so hard to act like things are fine and she's so positive but it's _awful _Bella. He was waiting for a good time to tell you but it just didn't happen. I spoke to him last night and asked if I could tell you instead and he said it was fine.'

God I'd been so absorbed in my own shit. I'd noticed something was up with Emmett but I hadn't asked him, I hadn't made the effort to talk to him about it. No wonder he didn't reply to my texts this week, what was he supposed to say?

Fuck I'm such a bad friend.

'Does Paul know?' I asked her worriedly.

Rose's eyes widened. 'Um yeah, he told you…?'

'About his mom, yeah.' I said, biting my lip. This must be so hard for him.

'Wow.' Rose said softly, 'That's…He doesn't talk about her, ever.'

'Is that why Emmett's not here this week?' I asked her, moving the conversation away from Paul.

She nodded, gnawing at her cheek. 'They went to Seattle for this experimental treatment thing.'

There was a pang in my chest. Seattle. Home. Edward.

'Well hopefully it works.' I said to Rose, grabbing her hand in mine.

She nodded, taking in a shaky breath. 'If she dies….she's been like a mom to me. And Emmett…fuck. I think it'll break him, maybe forever. And I don't know how to be there for him. I don't know how to…' She cut off her voice breaking.

I bent forward and hugged her. Honestly Rose and I didn't really hug, not like this anyway. But it was one of those times it was necessary.

'The treatment could have worked.' I said to her, stroking her back. 'Don't think the worst until it's here.'

'I just…' She swallowed, visibly fighting back tears. 'I want to prepare myself.'

I breathed out slowly. 'Rose, preparing yourself won't make it hurt any less. It's going to hurt anyway.'

She pulled back her blue eyes meeting mine, 'Have you…lost someone?'

I grit my teeth, 'My mom's sister died when I was thirteen. I don't…' I looked away from her. 'I don't talk about it. Just…take it from me, preparing yourself doesn't help.'

I forced my Aunt out of my head. Thinking about her was way too painful for me. She'd been like a second mother. If it wasn't for Edward…no. I wouldn't think about this.

I looked out the front windscreen and saw the lot was empty.

'Crap.' I sighed.

'Shit. We're so late. We're missing Spanish.' Rose said, rubbing her eyes.

I turned to her with a smile. 'I have a better idea than going to Spanish.'

We pulled back into the parking lot 5 minutes before second period, clutching large hot chocolates with whipped cream and marshmallows.

'When you said a treat I thought you meant pills.' Rose laughed.

I rolled my eyes at her. 'I try to avoid pills these days. Acid gives me crazy hallucinations and when I take E I go fucking insane. I have some Xanax if you want it?'

Rose nodded at me, her eyes lighting up. 'Yeah I do, I just want to stop worrying for a few hours.'

I fished in my bag for my emergency stash and handed her one.

'It won't make you better, just delay things.' I warned as she put it in her mouth.

'I know.' She said, taking a sip of hot chocolate.

**X**

When I saw her at break she was really quiet, listening to her headphones. I sat down next to her and she rested her head on my shoulder. The boys came up to the table and she didn't even lift her head.

'You okay Rosie?' Paul asked, placing a hand on her back.

She nodded, her eyes heavy.

'I'm all g.'

I laughed. Jasper and Embry shot her concerned looks and I sighed.

'She's fine, just…_chilling_ out.' Jasper nodded instantly but the others looked confused.

'I gave her some X.' I said in response.

'Oh.' Embry said, 'She okay?'

'Yep.' I answered, stroking her hair. 'She's good.'

Kate walked up to the table, sitting down next to Paul and I stiffened.

Rose noticed because she lifted her head off my shoulder slightly to look at my face before snorting with laughter.

'You're just everywhere today.' I said to Kate in a pleasant tone.

She smiled obliviously.

Jasper raised an eyebrow at me.

'What?' I mouthed. He shrugged.

Paul reached into his bag and grabbed a banana.

'Come esto y luego toma tus pastillas.' Paul said in rapid Spanish, passing the banana to me.

_Eat this and take your pills. _

I accepted the banana. 'Thanks.'

He tilted his head at me in response.

Kate raised her eyebrows at him 'You speak Spanish? Hot?'

I grimaced. Paul locked eyes with me for a moment before looking over to Kate.

'Yeah I do.'

'So does Bella.' Embry piped up.

'Cool so you can have secret conversations?' Kate said, smiling at me.

'Yeah, cool.' I said sarcastically, eating my banana.

'Juega bien. No hay necesidad de ser así.' Paul warned, raising an eyebrow at me.

_Be nice. No need to be like that. _

'Estoy siendo amable!' I said holding up my hands.

_I'm being nice!_

'Yeah it's actually quite annoying when they do this.' Embry said with a wry smile to Kate.

I grabbed my antibiotics from the bag and took one. Paul flashed me a gorgeous smile in response and I smiled back my heart jumping in my chest.

Kate sighed, 'I thought I was pretty good at Spanish but you two talk so fast I'm completely lost.'

Paul turned to her with a wicked smile and winked. 'Maybe you need extra lessons.'

She bit her lip, looking at him from under her eyelashes, 'Maybe I do, think you can teach me?'

There was that twisting in my gut again.

'We're going for a smoke.' I said abruptly, grabbing Rose's hand and tugging her up.

Jasper was looking at me with a confused expression. I let go of Rose and walked over to him, bending down to kiss him on the mouth. Electricity thrummed through me at his touch.

His hand went to the back of my head and he pressed me to him, kissing me sensually.

I moaned into his mouth quietly and I felt his lips curve up into a smile.

I pulled back, breathless.

'I'll see you at our spot at lunch?' I said to him, biting my lip.

His fingers skimmed the bare skin at the back of my thigh sending shivers through me.

'Uh-huh.' He smirked, his blue eyes burning into mine.

I grinned, walking back over to Rose. I caught a glimpse of Paul glaring at the table just as I left.

Maybe he's starting to find Kate annoying too. I smiled at the thought.

**X**

'Fuck, don't stop.' I gasped, tangling my hand into Jasper's hair tighter and tilting my head back against the door.

I was balancing on my left leg and my right leg was hooked over his shoulder.

He hummed from between my legs, gripping my ass tighter as he licked my wet slit.

'Fuck, _Jasper.' _I cried out in pleasure as I came, my legs shaking.

He moved my leg off his shoulder and pulled it around his waist, standing up and lifting me up with him. I wrapped my legs around him tightly as his mouth descended on mine.

I could taste myself on his lips and he groaned into my mouth as I licked my tongue against his.

'So fuckin' dirty.' He growled.

My hands slid down his torso to his waist, unbuckling his belt, my hand palming his rock hard cock. He bucked his hips up into me, moving his mouth to my neck and placing hot wet kisses along the column of my throat.

'Fuck.' I moaned, my head hitting the door.

'Shh baby.' Jasper murmured, biting at my neck gently.

I pulled his boxers open and his gorgeous cock slipped out, standing proudly at attention.

He slipped his hand in the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a condom, tearing it open and sliding it over himself.

He held his hand out to me and I licked the palm, making it nice and wet. He groaned lowly, pulling it back and sliding it up and down his thick length a few times.

My dress was already bunched around my waist, my underwear on the floor somewhere.

I stared at Jasper's face in the light and he leant in to kiss me passionately, pulling back and staring into my eyes, his, dark with lust and fluttering with emotion.

This right here. This is why it wasn't just fucking anymore. He slid into me, digging his teeth into his bottom lip as he groaned.

My eyes rolled back into my head.

'Fuck, you feel so good.' He hissed.

'Oh god.' I gasped. I felt so full.

He rocked his hips back and drove into me.

We both groaned. He gripped my hip as he started a slow and deep rhythm inside me, sending waves of pleasure through my body.

He increased the pace, groaning. 'Fuck baby…'

'Yes!' I moaned loudly. Jasper laughed huskily, clamping his hand over my mouth.

'You can scream for me tonight but now you really gotta be quiet darlin'.' He murmured, placing a kiss on my collarbone.

I kind of liked his hand covering my mouth and I shivered.

His blue eyes widened slightly before a smirk crossed his face and he moved his large hand lower, cupping my throat.

'Oh fuck.' I said through gritted teeth, slamming my head back into the door.

Jasper groaned lowly. 'Fuck you're such a bad girl. You like me gripping your throat as I fuck you darlin'?'

He squeezed his hand around me gently and I felt myself clench down on him as pleasure surged through my belly.

He moved his hips faster, his thumb stroking my neck.

'Touch yourself baby, make yourself come for me.' He murmured huskily in my ear, biting the lobe gently. His warm breath again my heated skin drove me insane.

I slid my hand between us, groaning as I brushed against him and rubbing my clit with my fingers.

'Oh fuck.' He growled lowly, crashing his mouth to mine and licking at my tongue.

'Jasper.' I moaned into his mouth. He picked up the pace, fucking me harder and I pulled away from his mouth biting back a scream.

'Fuck yes baby, who do you belong to?' He said huskily.

'Y-you. _Fuck._' I panted. I was right on the edge, my legs quivering.

'That's it sweet girl.' He crooned in my ear. 'Come for me.'

My eyes rolled back in my head. He tightened his hand around my neck ever so slightly and I felt my body lurch.

'Fuck. I'm coming.' I spat. Jasper pressed his mouth to mine, swallowing my cries of ecstasy.

I shuddered in his arms. He groaned, releasing his hand from my neck and cupping my face, kissing me roughly.

I pulled my hand up from between us and wrapped my arms around his back, sliding my hands under his shirt and digging my nails into his skin as he slammed into me.

Jasper groaned, his hooded blue eyes staring into mine.

I removed one hand and grabbed his jaw, licking at his lips and then sucking his tongue into my mouth, moaning at the taste of him.

He tasted like fucking heaven.

Jasper whimpered, his hand slamming into the door behind us as he increased the pace. Every stroke was sending jolts of pleasure down my spine.

'Fuck, _Bella_.' He groaned into my mouth.

I tugged his bottom lip with my teeth and then placed open mouthed kisses along his jaw to his ear, moaning as he rolled his hips to the left slightly.

'Fuck you feel so good baby.' I murmured in his ear. 'I love feeling you inside me, fucking me.'

Jasper groaned loudly.

'Shh.' I teased, pulling his earlobe into my mouth and biting down gently. He shivered.

'Oh fuck, right there.' I gasped as he gripped my hip and angled to the left.

'_Jasper_.'

'Ugh I love it when you…ugh fuck…say my name like that.' He groaned, his head tilting back.

'_Jasper,_' I whimpered, 'Please. I want you to come. _Please_.' I kissed my way back to his mouth, licking my tongue against his. 'Come inside me.' I murmured, pulling back slightly.

My lower stomach tightened as I looked at him. His bright blue eyes were heavy lidded as they gazed into mine and his mouth was slightly open in pleasure.

'Fuck.' I whimpered. His body tensed and he threw his head back, gritting his teeth and squeezing my hip hard. I was probably going to have a bruise.

So fucking hot.

His hips slowed and he dropped his head into my neck breathing heavily.

'Fuck.' He said shakily, panting.

A rush of emotion washed over me and I wrapped my arms around him tightly, trying to pull him closer. He laughed a little into my neck, lifting his head to look at me.

'You okay beautiful?' His deep blue eyes were intense as they looked into mine.

'Yeah.' I managed to say, my heart skipping a beat.

The left side of his mouth turned up in a half smile and he cupped my face in his hands, leaning in to place a sweet kiss on my mouth. I sighed in pleasure as warmth blossomed in my chest and made its way down to my stomach.

Jasper twitched inside of me and I pulled back with a smirk.

'Already?'

He gave me a cheeky smile, stroking his thumb into my cheek. 'I always want you Bella Swan.'

My heart skipped a beat and I kissed him, pressing our bodies together.

I felt him smile against my mouth.

'We better go and eat something darlin', there's only 10 minutes of lunch left.' He said, placing another gentle kiss on my mouth.

He slid out of me and I shivered at the sensation. He lowered my body to the ground.

When we entered the cafeteria Jasper went to get us food and I sat down at the table with the others. Paul was staring at his phone and didn't even look up when I sat down.

Rose raised an eyebrow at me. 'You look very post-coital.' She was still white zen, absentmindedly twirling the spoon of her yoghurt.

I winked at her.

I was glad I didn't see Kate at the table.

Jasper appeared then, handing me a slice of pizza.

'Here you go darlin'.' He said, kissing my head.

'Thanks Jas.' I smiled. Ooh pepperoni.

Paul looked up from his phone to glance at us.

He raised an eyebrow at me and I nodded at him. 'I know.' He looked back down at his phone.

Rose looked at me confused.

I took out my antibiotics and popped one in my mouth, swallowing it down with juice.

'He was just reminding me of something.' I said to her, taking a bite of pizza. 'So good.' I said appreciatively.

'So now you have silent conversations too?' Embry asked teasingly.

Paul rolled his eyes at him.

'I agree.' I said conspiratorially.

Paul looked at me and laughed, his brown eyes lighting up.

Embry, Jasper and Rose stared at him.

'What?' Paul asked, raising an eyebrow. 'It was funny.'

I lay my head on Jasper's shoulder. My arm was hurting again, the painkillers had worn off.

I grimaced slightly, rubbing it and Paul frowned.

'You okay?'

'I'm good.' I said, keeping my face neutral. His jaw twitched. 'Me duele el brazo de donde clavó esas pinzas. Es mejor que ayer.' I said shrugging.

_My arm is sore from where she dug those tweezers in. It's better than yesterday. _

Paul nodded. I stroked up Jasper's back lightly.

'I'll tell you later.' I said softly in his ear. I knew he hated it when Paul and I spoke Spanish like that.

He kissed my forehead in response and I smiled.

Paul looked away sharply and I frowned at him.

**X**

'Please can you give it to me.' I said to Royce, trying not to scowl.

'Oh man am I interrupting?' Sam said with a sly grin, raising his eyebrows at his boss as he walked over to us.

'Shut up.' I said to him with a laugh, shoving him playfully.

Royce shook his head at me. 'Yeah still no.'

I closed my eyes briefly. 'You said to ask you nicely, I did.'

Sam frowned, 'What's going on exactly?'

I gave him a warning look. I didn't want him to get in trouble because of me. His wife Emily would have my head. She was 8 months pregnant and every time she came to the garage, she brought muffins for everyone. Such a lovely woman…except when she was angry. Which she definitely would be if I got her husband fired.

'Nothing, go and start working on the oil tank.' Royce directed to him.

'Sure thing boss.' Sam said, wiping his hands on his black T-shirt before running them through his shaggy hair. He shot me another look and I nodded at him. He shrugged and went over to the car at the back.

'You didn't ask nicely _enough_.' Royce said, smirking at me.

I made a face at him. 'Seriously? I'll just go ask Garrett and he can ask you.'

Royce looked at me blankly, 'And if you do, I'll tell him that you were rude to me…'

'Why?' I asked frustratedly.

'Because.' Royce said matter-of-factly.

'What does _nicely enough_ entail?' I questioned with a sigh.

Royce stepped closer to me. 'Well.' He said quietly, 'What do you think you can do for me to make it worth it?'

'What the fuck is taking you so long?' I heard Mason say behind us.

I spun around.

'Fuck are you okay?' I said in shock. He had a huge black eye on the left and there was a large cut above his eyebrow. The bruises were purple and green and continued down his cheekbone. It looked really painful. I stepped towards him reaching out to touch his head and he grabbed my wrist quickly, stopping me. His touch was surprisingly gentle and sent sparks up my arm.

I pulled it back, swallowing.

'Don't.' He said, his vibrant green eyes flashing with something as he stared into my eyes. 'Garrett said he asked you to grab him a spark plug for a BMW over 10 minutes ago. Why is it taking you a hundred fucking years?'

'There's only one left in stock, and Royce has it.'

Mason looked at him, 'Do you need it?'

Royce sneered at him. 'I do actually.'

'Well then what are you doing Bella?' Mason asked exasperatedly.

I huffed. 'I'm handling it Mason.'

Mason crossed his arms, lifting his chin up slightly as he stared down at me. 'Doesn't seem like you are.'

God that black eye was hot as fuck on him. I felt my stomach tighten.

I spun back to Royce. 'Royce, can we please have the spark plug?'

He scowled at me.

'No.'

Alex, Royce's other trainee walked over to us with a frown, his shoulder length hair was wrapped in a top knot, his baby blues curious. 'What's the matter? Jesus Mason hope the other guy looks worse.'

'Obviously.' Mason said bluntly.

I glanced at him worriedly and he scowled at me.

'Do you need the spark plug?' I asked Alex exasperated by this whole conversation.

He shook his head. 'No. We do-' Royce glared at him. 'Um yes, yes we do.' He corrected awkwardly.

'Do you need it or not?' Mason asked with a huff, pinching the bridge of his nose. A shock of familiarity washed through me as he did it and I shook my head slightly. I was used to that feeling around him.

Not that I was any closer to figuring out _why_.

Alex sighed. 'No. We don't need it.'

'Alex.' Royce hissed. 'Come on Bella, we had a deal.'

Mason stepped towards Royce, his hands forming fists. 'What kind of deal?'

Royce blanched. 'Nothing.'

'Oh my god this conversation is so fucking boring.' I said to them all.

'Royce, do you want to give us the plug or not? I'd rather wait for one to come in than continue this conversation.'

Alex snorted at me. 'Always so patient Bells.' I gave him the finger.

'Fine. Fucking take it.' Royce said angrily.

'Thank you.' I said sweetly, holding out my hand. He gave it to me with a sneer.

'This conversation isn't over.' He said quietly, his eyes dropping down to my chest then back up again.

Mason stepped forwards, his green eyes flashing with annoyance 'What the f-'

I put my hand on his chest and pushed gently. 'Come on Rocky.'

'More like Drago.' Alex teased.

Mason smirked at him. 'Want to find out?'

I rolled my eyes at them.

'See you later Lex.'

'Hope not, you're nothin' but trouble.' He said, ruffling my hair.

I pouted at him playfully, 'That's why you like me so much.'

He laughed and I winked, gently pushing Mason to go back to our end of the garage. He nodded at Alex and glared at Royce.

'Do you have to flirt with everyone?' He asked, irritation seeping into his voice.

'Yep.' I replied, grinning. 'Why?'

He just scowled.

'You're in a good mood.' I said teasingly. We'd actually been getting on okay for the past week.

'What did Royce try to do to you?'

I sighed. 'Nothing. He just wanted me to beg for it.'

'He's a fucking dick.'

'Yeah well…'

We handed the Spark plug to Garrett and when he asked what took so long Mason pointed at me.

'Bella struggles with basic tasks.' He said seriously.

Garett rolled his eyes, used to our banter.

'Let's finish this and then I've got a project for you two to do for the rest of the shift. I've got a date to get to.'

'Oh yeah?' I said smiling at him. 'Hope you shave first old man.'

Garrett chuckled, his fingers reaching up to touch his stubble. 'Watch it Bells, wouldn't want to end up on cleaning duty.' He winked at me.

I smiled. 'I'm just kiddin Gar. You look good…for an old man that is.'

He swatted me with the rag he was holding and I laughed dodging out the way.

Mason grinned at Garrett.

'I'll get her.' He said with a smirk. I shrieked as Mason dashed towards me, he picked me up by the waist, swinging me around to stand in front of Garrett. I shivered at the feel of his hard body behind mine, my whole body thrumming with electricity.

Garrett pretended to take a shot with the rag before grinning, leaning in to ruffle my hair up.

I pushed back into Mason to avoid it, laughing and he hissed behind me. I turned around to see a flash of pain in his eyes.

'What's wr-'

'Nothing.' He said hastily. 'Come on, let's finish the car.'

Garrett left after we fixed the plug, leaving Mason and I to work on a Hummer. All the insides needed doing up and replacing. The parts were there, we just had to fit them.

We were almost finished.

'What happened to your eye?' I asked Mason, stopping what I was doing to look at him.

'What happened to your arm?' He said without skipping a beat, glancing up at me.

'Touché.' I said with a smile.

He laughed, his green eyes brightening for a moment.

'And your ribs?' I said, my hand reaching out to touch the place I'd backed into. He shivered as I rested my hand on his stomach.

He swallowed. 'Nothing.' I could feel the warmth of his skin through his shirt as well as the hard planes of his stomach. My heart started racing.

He looked down at my hand and then up at me with a crooked smile, his green eyes smouldering into mine, 'You gonna touch me all day Sparrow?'

I pulled my hand back hastily, blushing.

Sparrow.

That's weird. Edward used to call me Sparrow. He went through a phase of calling me all sorts of bird names as a joke after I said I shouldn't be a Swan because I wasn't beautiful. Sparrow was the one that ended up sticking. It made sense. I was a twig when I was 9, scrawny and really short.

'Mace, Alice is here.' Oscar called over from Susan's bay.

I turned around and saw the pretty spiky haired girl walking over to us. She was wearing a long sleeved sweater and kept toying with the sleeves.

Oh, the girl from his bike. And her name was Alice...

'Hey, you must be Bella.' She said, eyeing me curiously.

'Hey.' I replied cautiously.

'I'm Alice.' She greeted. She looked to Mason and he shot her a warning look. 'I'm _Mason's_ sister.'

'Sister.' I repeated. Thank god. I thought she was his girlfriend.

She shrugged, her blue eyes full of amusement. 'Well, sort of.'

'What?' I said frowning.

How can you be sort of someone's sister?

'You ready E- er, Mason?'

I looked at her confused.

He shot her a hateful look. 'Yeah, you good to finish here?' He said to me, cocking his head to the side.

'Um, yeah.' I said. There was something important that had just occurred to me, it was on the tip of my tongue.

He nodded, throwing his towel down. 'See you on Monday.'

'You're not here on the weekend?' I asked him, stepping forwards.

He turned to me, shaking his head. 'No. I've got…stuff to do.'

'Okay.' I said softly. 'See you Monday then.'

He nodded stiffly, grabbing Alice who was still staring at me.

'What?' I said to her, raising an eyebrow.

'Nothing.' She said shrugging.

I watched as they walked over to his bike. She got on behind him and as she was putting on her helmet, her sleeve caught on the edge of the bike, pulling up to reveal her forearm. For a second I thought she was wearing a layer underneath, but then my eyes registered what I was actually seeing.

My stomach twisted violently. Her arm was covered in deep welts. Fuck. Jesus.

I turned back to the car. What the fuck happened to them?

I heard the bike start up.

Mason obviously has broken ribs and the black eye…did Alice have an abusive boyfriend or something?

Mason's ribs…my hand on his stomach…Sparrow…

Sparrow.

My heart started beating frantically and I spun around to look at them, my eyes wide. Nobody but Edward would call me that...

Oh my god.

'Edward!' I shouted, running after the bike.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger :)**

**Pretty please read and review!**

**lots of love,**

**Creaatingmadness xxx**


	17. Chapter 17

_Previously_

_I heard the bike start up. _

_Mason obviously has broken ribs and the black eye…did Alice have an abusive boyfriend or something? _

_Mason's ribs…my hand on his stomach…Sparrow… _

_Sparrow._

_My heart started beating frantically and I spun around to look at them, my eyes wide. _

_Oh my god. _

_'Edward!' I shouted._

**Chapter 17**

He stared at me, his eyes not full of surprise but a sort of grim acceptance, then turned away and sped out the lot, Alice gripping onto him tightly.

I stood there for a moment, my whole body practically vibrating with anxious energy.

It was Edward. This whole time.

I didn't even…

How did I not recognise him?

I slowly sat down on the ground, my head spinning.

'B you okay?' Sam asked, running over. 'I heard you shout.'

I nodded automatically.

'Just wanted to sit here for a second.' I heard myself saying.

Fuck. Edward has grown up…a lot. When I knew him he was a scrawny 16 year old with crazy hair, braces and a voice that hadn't quite dropped yet. He was always attractive, always my Edward, but he wasn't rugged and-

Sam squatted down in front of me a concerned look in his eye.

'You sure you're okay? You're pale as a ghost.'

I stared at him. 'Yep.'

He frowned and grabbed my hand, pulling me up. 'You should get outta here, Garett wouldn't mind and I'll tell Carlisle, you're working tomorrow anyway right?'

I nodded absent-mindedly. 'Uh-huh.'

Sam gave me a wry smile, 'Never seen you so quiet.' He ruffles my hair gently.

I snapped back to myself realising if I didn't act normally Sam was probably going to worry.

I grinned at him, 'Thought I'd give you a few minutes respite.' I said playfully.

Sam laughed, his brown eyes sparkling.

'See you tomorrow Bella.'

I grinned at him, 'Yeah, yeah.'

I got into my car and sat there, my keys in my hand.

Edward. Why was he here? Why was he in Texas? And what did Alice mean when she said she was sort of his sister? Did his mom remarry or something?

Could she be a half sister? I never really saw Edward's dad and he never spoke about him. I remember him being around when Edward was 8 or so, but then he just disappeared. Edward didn't really talk about him after that so I didn't ask. Maybe his dad had another family.

I placed my head on the steering wheel. How did I not recognise him? He obviously recognised me…

No wonder he's so off with me. He thought he was done having to deal with my shit, then I show up working at the same place as him and even worse, I don't recognise him.

Now that I know Mason is Edward the physical similarities seem so obvious. The bright green eyes, the hair, although his hair is a lot darker and thicker now… the way he smiled in that crooked way. He was still Edward, just a lot more muscular, taller, sexier…

I bit my lip. But even though underneath it all, Mason looks like an older and more attractive Edward, he was _nothing_ like my Edward.

Edward was sweet, shy and innocent. He was the kind of guy who giggled about Harry Potter with me and stuck chopsticks in his mouth to pretend to be a walrus. He spent hours with his head in a book, so engrossed in a story he would barely look up for more than a minute. He barely raised his voice, hating confrontation of _any_ kind, and the most he ever swore was the word damn.

Mason on the other hand was…arrogant, rude and kind of an asshole. It wasn't just to me either, he was like that with everyone at the garage.

How did Edward become like that? What could have altered his personality so much that I didn't recognise him?

On top of that, why was he so mad at me?

**X**

'Bella?'

I turned to face Jasper with a confused expression.

We were lying on his bed watching Blades of Glory, which Jasper insisted was one of the funniest films he'd ever seen.

Truthfully, I hadn't been watching it at all. All I could think about was Mason.

Not Mason…Edward.

'Sorry Jas,' I bit my lip, 'What was that?'

His blue eyes scanned mine. 'Nothin', you okay?'

I nodded. 'I'm good. Just…tired.'

He sighed softly before nodding.

Okay so Jasper was apparently completely not falling for my bullshit anymore which was fucking great.

He pressed pause on the laptop and turned to face me.

'Do you want to have a nap?' He gave me a wry smile.

I rolled my eyes, nestling into his body and tucking my head into his neck. He let out a contended hum, his hand stroking up my back.

'Have you ever been ice skating?' He said randomly.

I pulled my head back to look at him with a raised eyebrow. 'Yeah but not since I was a kid, have you?'

'No! And every time I see this movie I end up really wanting to go. I just…never do.'

I glanced at the screen and then back to him with a smile, 'We should go.'

The smile he gave me back was breathtaking and my breathing hitched.

He rolled on top of me playfully, his hair falling into his bright blue eyes as he looked down at me.

I smiled up at him.

'Are you going to laugh if I fall over?'

I rolled my eyes, 'Jas you're one of the most athletic people I've ever met.'

He smirked cockily, 'True, but you never know darlin', ice skating might be my secret weakness.'

_Yeah I'll believe that when I see it_.

I stared up at him.

From far away you can tell Jasper is gorgeous. When you get up close…

He's fucking beautiful.

From the few freckles that rest under his left eye, the small scar that sits in his eyebrow, leaving the faintest gap. The sharp line of his jaw, the gentle shape of his mouth that always sits in a slight pout.

I swallowed as my heart skipped in my chest.

He furrowed one brow with a teasing smile.

'What are you staring at?'

I grabbed his head and kissed him.

I felt him smile against my mouth before he deepened the kiss, his hand sliding up my side.

My answering moan made him smile wider and he tugged at my bottom lip playfully with his teeth before kissing across my jaw and placing a teasing open-mouthed kiss by my ear.

'You're so fucking beautiful.' He murmured huskily.

My sentiments exactly.

He bit my earlobe gently and I moaned, arching my back up under him.

'Jasper.' I breathed, my head tilting back.

He groaned softly, kissing down my neck and I shivered as I felt him harden against my thigh.

Yes. This is what I needed.

Distraction.

I pulled his mouth to mine fiercely, tangling my fingers in his hair.

Jasper pulled back from me, his eyes dark.

'We should stop.' He said huskily.

_Wait, what?_

'Why?' I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

He sighed softly. 'Because…you're upset about something.'

I rolled my eyes and leant up to kiss him, but he avoided the kiss.

'Bella.' He pleaded softly.

I huffed, falling back to the pillow.

'So, what?' I said irritatedly. 'You don't want to fuck me because I seem upset? You'd rather I what, talk about my fucking feelings?'

Jasper frowned, hurt flashing in his eyes.

'No, I know you'd talk about it if you wanted, I just think-'

'Well don't.' I cut him off. 'Don't fucking think. I'm perfectly capable of handling my own shit Jasper. I don't need you to fucking baby me.'

He swallowed, using his arms to push his body off of mine so he was sitting up in front of me.

'Sorry for fuckin' caring.' He said sarcastically. 'I'll remember next time to just be an asshole that fucks you and doesn't give a fuck about your feelings.'

A knot was curling itself in my stomach.

'I never asked you to give a fuck about my feelings.' I snapped, sitting up to face him.

He stared me down his blue eyes flashing. 'Bella, I'm not fuckin' apologising for caring about you.'

'Well you shouldn't.' I said shaking my head at him.

'I wasn't going t-'

'Care.' I clarified, forcing my expression to stay indifferent despite the churning going on in my stomach.

Jasper made an exasperated sound. 'For fuck's sake Bella, I'm not declaring my undying fuckin' love for you. I'm just sayin' that I care. Are you that fucked up that you can't accept the fact someone in your life actually cares about you?'

I stared at him, a lump forming in my throat.

'Yeah. I guess I am that fucked up.'

I stood up and started grabbing my stuff.

Jasper got up quickly. 'Bella, don't. That's not what I meant.'

I whirled on him, 'What did you mean then Jasper?'

He floundered and I picked up my bag, slinging it over my shoulder.

I shook my head at him. 'Don't fucking chicken out now Jasper. Say what you goddamn mean.' I laughed humourlessly. 'Nobody in my life gives a fuck except you, huh? What gave it away? The fact that my mom spends her whole life fucking wasted? So fucking drunk that she throws shit around and I have to go and get stitches?' I wave my arm at him. 'Or maybe it's the fact my dad is too busy screwing my ex best friend to even pick up a phone.' I snapped.

Jasper stared at me with a horrified expression.

_Oh no. Fuck, fuck, fuck. _

'Bella.' He stepped towards me and I shook my head.

'I have to go.' I said hurriedly.

He grabbed me gently and I shook him off, tears burning in my eyes.

'Bella, please.' Jasper murmured, stepping into me.

'Jasper, just…fuck off.' I said, fighting the urge to cry. He stepped closer and I pulled out of his grip.

Only one way to handle this Swan.

_Lie._

'You may care about me.' I said stiffly, tilting my chin up at him. 'But I don't care about you. At all.'

Jasper's eyes flashed, 'You don't mean that.'

I stared at him blankly even though inside I felt like someone was clawing my chest open. 'Yeah, I do. You were a good fuck Jasper but I'm bored now...'

The hurt that registered in his eyes at my words made my stomach sink.

I turned and walked out of his door, tears running down my cheeks.

He didn't follow me.

X

I found myself driving to Paul's.

I felt fucking awful.

Lying to Jasper made me feel like shit, hurting Jasper made me feel like shit.

He wasn't wrong either. He was so fucking spot on.

I didn't have anyone, not really.

The only two people who even really knew me were Paul and Jasper.

_And you just fucked up any chance you had with Jasper, _I said to myself mockingly.

More than anything I felt like shit because I fucking told Jasper about Charlie.

The one fucking thing, I hadn't told _anyone_.

I slammed my fist on the steering wheel, blinking back tears.

I'd completely ruined it with Jasper. But that's a good thing isn't it?

He was starting to care, he wanted more.

And I couldn't do fucking more…

Even though, I liked him.

I really fucking liked him.

Ugh. And on top all this goddam shit, Edward's fucking back.

'Fuck, fuck, _fuck._' I cursed.

I called Paul's phone, but no one answered.

'Fuck.' I repeated.

I called again.

'Paul's phone.' Someone purred down the phone.

_Was that Kate?_

Fuck his booty call. I needed to get drunk with my best friend.

Paul _always_ made me feel better.

'Hello?'

'Kate.' I said resignedly, 'Can I talk to Paul?'

'Bella?' She didn't bother hiding her irritation.

'Yes.'

'One second.' Kate said, then the sound on the other side cut out.

I tapped my screen, wondering if she hung up but it said the call was active.

The bitch muted me.

I glared at the road in front of me. There was a noise on the other side of the phone.

'Now's just not a good time.' She said in a sickening voice.

I huffed. 'Did you tell him I c-'

'Tell her to fuck off.' I heard Paul say in the background.

There was rustling and then a soft groan.

I hung up hurriedly, almost dropping the phone in my lap.

I slammed my head into the steering wheel, hard.

_Fuck._

I felt so…alone.

For a second I considered ringing Rose, but she had her own shit to deal with, not to mention…I couldn't bring myself to trust her fully, even though that was stupid.

I blinked back angry tears.

I just wanted to forget any of this shit and feel good.

**X**

After going home and throwing on a different outfit and covering my eyes with concealer and black kohl, I made my way to the bar that I used to hang out at a lot before I moved to this school. It was called 'Dirty Bill's' but it was actually a nice place.

The outside looked a little rough around the edges, with graffiti on the doors and a neon sign that looked like it belonged in the 80s. Once you got inside though…the interior was quite cool.

The floor was a mahogany colour, and stretched forward about 5 feet, till you got to the big solid oak bar. It seated around 10, but when it was busy up to 25 could squeeze next to each other if everyone stood. I'd only been once when it was busy and decided to never do it again.

The usual punters were tatted up musicians, motorcyclists, alternative types. The kind that didn't ask questions or make stupid fucking small talk.

My kind of place. Plus, the bartender Carl was fucking awesome. He was about 40, with long black hair and a thick septum piercing. He was sarcastic as fuck, but he told it straight, and he let me in, even though I'm sure he knew I was underage.

As I walked in, he was leaning against the counter cleaning glasses, his hair tied in a bun.

'Hi Carl.' I said grinning at him as I walked up to the bar.

'Hey Iz.' He greeted, smiling. 'Long time no see.'

'I know.' I said pouting. 'Did ya miss me?'

He raised his eyebrows, 'Not in the slightest.'

I smiled, 'Aw you missed me.'

He laughed, 'Where've you been? Found somewhere better to go for your kicks?'

'Aw, don't be jealous baby.' I teased, taking a seat. 'I've just been real busy.'

He threw the towel he was using to polish over one shoulder and placed both hands on the counter with a smile.

'Do you want the usual?'

'You know it.' I said, taking off my jumper and leaning my arms on the chair in front of me. I was wearing a pair of dark denim shorts and a white T-shirt with a picture of a dandelion and the words, 'Blow me.'

Carl took one look at my shirt and laughed loudly, rolling his eyes.

'You're gonna get yourself in trouble walking around with that.' He said shaking his head, still chuckling as he placed my drink in front of me.

I shrugged.

'How's things with you and Chelsea?'

He grinned, 'Good. She's pregnant.'

'Jesus.' I said with wide eyes. 'You work fast.'

They'd only been together a few months.

He shrugged, cleaning the counter, a large grin on his face.

'Congratulations!' I said, raising my glass with a smile.

He winked.

He looked happy. I'm glad he found someone.

Jasper's words rung out in my head again.

'_Are you that fucked up that you can't accept the fact someone in your life actually cares about you?'_

I gulped back the entire glass.

'What's up Iz?' Carl said, interrupting my thoughts as he topped it up.

'I don't want to talk about it.' I downed the glass, slamming it in front of me.

'Boy trouble?' Carl said, leaning opposite me, concern in his grey eyes.

I sighed, 'Kinda.'

'Do I need to kick somebody's ass?' He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

I laughed humourlessly, 'Yeah, mine.'

I pouted at the glass and then Carl and he rolled his eyes, topping me up.

I took another few gulps of Jack, feeling it sear down my throat.

I stared at the amber liquid.

Whisky.

_Jasper._

No, I couldn't fucking think about _that_.

I gulped more down, emptying my glass. Carl sighed and I gave him a humourless smile.

'Just leave the bottle.' I said, my fingers stroking the rim of my glass.

Carl topped my glass up and moved the bottle out of my reach.

When I raised an eyebrow at him in question he just shrugged. 'You'll thank me later honey.'

'I won't.' I said grumpily.

Carl winked at me and then moved towards some new customers at the other end of the bar. I went back to staring at my drink silently.

I'm so pissed off that Kate answered Paul's phone.

The thought of him and her made my stomach twist and I felt like I couldn't breathe remembering the way he said the words 'tell her to fuck off.' As though he didn't care _at all. _

Paul was the one who was supposed to just…

Why am I so hurt that he chose sex over me? I shouldn't be…it's so fucking stupid.

Maybe it's because it's Kate…

I fucking _hate_ Kate.

There was a loud crash behind me and a throaty, 'Fuck me.'

'You'll have to buy me a drink first.' I said automatically, taking another gulp of jack.

I heard the seat next to me move and turned to look. My eyes widened as they met crystal blue ones.

In the seat next to me was a gorgeous man, looking at me with one eyebrow raised and a wicked grin.

'What are you drinking sugar?' He winked. His voice was deep and slightly rough, with a thick southern accent.

_Well, hello._

His sandy brown hair was cropped fairly short on his head, the top a little longer than the sides giving him a slightly dangerous look. Tattoos peaked out of a white open-collared shirt. He had the sleeves rolled up slightly, revealing tanned and toned forearms. From the gentle creases around his eyes, at a guess I'd say he was 27, but I couldn't be sure. My eyes drifted downwards, lingering on the thickly muscled thighs wrapped in blue shorts.

_Fuck. Me._

He cleared his throat and my eyes darted back up to his, a coy smile playing at my lips. 'Sorry, about the…drink comment.'

_I wasn't sorry at all. _

His eyes dropped down to my shirt and his eyes widened slightly before he chuckled, 'Don't be sorry. I'm starting to think walkin' into this bar and sitting next to you was a very good idea.'

His eyes ran down the rest of my body slowly, before coming up to rest on my face. I bit my lip, feeling warm under his attention.

He held out his hand, grinning at me. 'I'm Peter.'

'Hi Peter.' I said, gripping his hand with mine. His skin was rough and hot to the touch, sending a pleasant shiver down my hand.

'You gonna tell me your name sugar?' He said, not letting go. His blue eyes were really stunning.

I smirked, 'You can call me Iz.'

He let go of my hand with a smile. 'Iz. What's that short for?'

'Wouldn't you like to know.' I teased.

His deep blue eyes smouldered into mine, 'I'd like to know a lot about you sugar.'

I looked down at my drink with a grin.

Carl walked over then and asked Peter what he wanted to drink.

'I'll have scotch.' He turned to wink at me, a smile playing at his lips, 'And whatever she's having.'

I gave Carl a look and he smiled.

'I'll put them both on Iz's tab.'

Peter raised an eyebrow at me.

'You don't have to do that.'

I shrugged, looking at him from under my eyelashes. 'No such thing as altruism, and I don't like creating expectations.'

Peter eyes sparkled with amusement. 'Expectations huh? Should I be concerned that you're buying me a drink? Just so you know, I won't put out.'

I laughed, 'How disappointing.'

His eyes lit up with mischief, 'I knew it! I played right into your hand.'

I smirked at him playfully.

'Says you.' I teased, 'If I remember correctly, _you_ started it.'

Peter threw back his head and laughed. It was a deep, husky sound.

_Fuck._

I found myself smiling widely.

_Yes. This is exactly what I needed. _

He looked at me cheekily. 'So, what's a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this?' Peter said, sipping his scotch.

'Don't hate on Dirty Bill's, it's a treasure trap.' I winked, 'Besides, you know how it is.' I said shrugging, 'I've got to be in position to seduce and take advantage.'

Peter's lips turned up in a wicked smile, 'How's that working out for ya?'

I smirked, 'I don't know yet.'

He leaned closer and my heart started beating faster. He smelt really good, like apples and something muskier.

I swallowed heavily feeling heat simmer in my lower stomach.

'Hmm, I think you might have lost your touch.' He said softly, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement.

'Oh I have, have I?' I said, looking at him from under my eyelashes.

Peter's eyes darkened slightly to a stormier blue. 'Definitely.'

'That's a shame.' I said, biting my lip with a smile.

Peter grinned, leaning back away from me and sipping his scotch, 'Oh sweetheart, you have no idea.'

I laughed and he smiled at me playfully. I felt my breathing hitch a little as I stared into his bright blue eyes.

'What about you?' I said after taking a gulp of Jack. My glass was empty, so I signalled Carl, winking at him.

He topped me up with a raised eyebrow.

I saluted him as I took another drink.

I was feeling pleasantly buzzed now.

I turned back to Peter and he was looking at me curiously. 'You come here a lot huh?'

I shrugged, 'Sometimes a lot. Sometimes not so much. Is this your first time here?'

Peter nodded. 'I've been in the marines for the past 6 years, just got discharged so, I'm back home.' He looked down at his glass, 'Didn't feel like goin' back to the old places.'

_Wow. A marine? _

'Must be hard.' I said softly.

Peter looked at me, 'The Marines?' He said with a wry smile.

'No.' I said with a slight frown, 'I mean yeah obviously, but I meant, coming back.'

Peter studied me for a moment, his eyes flashing with something.

'Fuck, you know, nobody has ever said that to me before.' He said, an amused smile playing at his lips, 'The normal response is 'You must be so glad to be home.'

_Oops. _

'Sorry.' I apologised, biting my lip.

Peter shook his head, smiling wider, 'Don't apologise. Fuck the truth is, I have no fuckin' idea how to be home.' He looked down at his drink his mouth twisting to the side, 'When you're out there, every day is life and death and that's horrible but…it's also fuckin' amazing. I felt so alive. And now, I just feel like I have no purpose anymore…' He frowned at his glass before looking up at me with an apologetic smile, 'Sorry sugar, didn't mean to unload on ya, your question just took me by surprise.'

'Don't apologise.' I said softly, a genuine smile forming on my face. 'Life isn't all sunshine and fucking rainbows.'

Peter laughed, 'Ain't that the truth.'

I practically jumped when I felt his warm hand gently land on my thigh, heat spreading from where he was touching me.

Peter raised an eyebrow at me and I smiled at him to let him know it was okay.

He smirked softly, a wicked look in his eyes.

_Fucking…hot._

I bit my lip and Peter's eyes dropped down to my mouth, lingering there for a moment before springing up to my eyes.

His thumb gently smoothed across my thigh and a small sigh escaped my mouth because every swipe sent a flutter to my lower stomach. Peter made a humming sound, before moving his hand off my leg and resting both forearms on the bar.

I felt the loss immediately, shifting in my seat.

'So Iz,' He said, cocking his head at me, 'What do you do?'

'I work with cars.' I said truthfully.

Peter raised his eyebrows. 'Oh yeah?'

'I'm a car mechanic.' I said smiling, 'Well, I will be anyway. I'm still training.'

_No lies so far. Not bad Swan. _

Peter smiled, 'That's awesome.'

'How about you?' I asked, kicking myself after the words left my mouth.

He smiled wryly, 'At the moment, nothin'. But some buddies of mine have a security company so I'll probably start workin' there if they'll have me.'

'How long have you been back?' I asked curiously, watching his hand as it wrapped around his glass. He had really big hands, with long fingers.

_Fuck._

Images of his hands spreading my legs flicked into my head and I swallowed heavily as I imagined his fingers moving inside of me.

My breathing picked up and I bit my lip.

'Just a week.' He said softly.

_Wow._

'I didn't think the marines discharged people that easily.'

Peter sighed, looking into his glass. 'They don't.' He looked up at me, 'Something happened to my platoon so.' His eyes clouded with pain and I bit my lip feeling awful for asking. 'Anyway, I'm back for good.'

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.' I apologised.

He looked up at me and smiled softly, 'That's okay sugar, you didn't know.'

I had some of my drink. When I looked back to Peter, he was looking at my legs, a hungry look in his eyes.

I cleared my throat and his eyes flicked up to mine unapologetically, a smile playing at his lips.

I smirked knowingly and he winked, taking a sip of scotch.

I found myself staring at his neck and wondering what it would be like to lick it. He placed his drink down and then started to lean towards me. My heart slammed in my chest, my breathing picking up. He smelt so good.

He got closer, his head only a few inches from mine and I bit my lip, heat swirling in my abdomen.

My eyes dropped down to his mouth, watching enraptured as his pink tongue wet his lips.

_Fuck. _

My eyes flicked back up to his eyes, he was so close I could practically taste his breath, scotch mixed with something minty.

I wanted to taste him.

He moved closer and my breath caught in my chest. Peter smirked, his blue eyes burning into mine, then leant past my body to grab the jug of water that sat on the bar to the left of me. As he reached for it his arm gently pressed against my chest and I shivered, my nipples pebbling in my shirt as I felt the heat from his arm against my skin.

He pulled back and stared at me, his eyes mischievous as he placed the water jug in front of him.

'Want some water?' He said, raising an eyebrow at me, the left corner of his mouth was turned up in a sexy smirk.

'Sure.' I managed to say breathily. He leant past me again to grab some glasses and I shivered as I felt his breath against my cheek, shifting in my seat as I felt a rush of wetness flood my panties. His arm pressed into me slightly lower this time, barely brushing my nipples and making my lower stomach ache.

Even though the whole thing took less than two seconds, my mouth was slightly open and my breath was coming out slightly faster than usual when he pulled back.

He poured water into two glasses, his ocean eyes smouldering.

He grabbed the jug and I shook my head with a smile, knowing he was going to tease me again.

He raised an eyebrow in response, barely holding back a grin.

As he leant past me again to put the water back, he placed his hand back on my leg, only this time, much higher up, the tips of his fingers resting on the bare skin of my inner thigh. Where he was touching me spread a jolt of heat down straight to my core, making my panties even more damp. My breathing hitched and he heard because he paused as he put the water down, his warm breath against my neck.

'Do you want me to kiss you sugar?' He said softly into my ear. I bit back a moan, shifting in my seat.

He pulled back and looked at me, his eyes a shade darker.

'Yes.' I said breathily.

He smiled and my eyes dropped to his lips as he ran his tongue across his bottom lip.

He learnt in and I stopped breathing in anticipation. He chuckled quietly and turned his head, kissing my cheek softly.

'Good.' He murmured.

Then he pulled back, removing his hand from my leg and placing his elbows on the bar.

He shot me a cheeky smirk and picked up the glass of water.

I sat there breathing heavily for a moment before I shook my head.

_Smooth. _

I smiled and Peter laughed huskily.

'What do you like to do for fun, Iz?' Peter asked. I watched him take another sip of water, his Adam's apple bobbing.

'Um,' I said, biting my lip as I stared at his tattoo, it looked like the tip of a feather or something.

I forced myself look up to his eyes and smiled. 'I like to read, watch movies, you know, the usual. I also like running, but smoking has kind of ruined my lungs.' I laughed. 'And you already know my favourite hobby.'

Peter raised an eyebrow, 'I do?'

I grinned 'Seducing strangers in bars of course. Though according to you I'm not very good.'

He laughed, looking at me with amusement, 'Maybe you just need to up your game.'

I made a humming sound and he winked at me. 'What about you?' I asked him.

'Well I run too,' he smiled at me, 'And I read, though it takes me forever to finish a book. I also like to swim, my whole families big on swimming actually.'

'Swimming's pretty fun.' I nodded, 'But I don't like swimming in pools as much as the sea.'

'Did you used to live by the sea? I can tell your accent isn't from around here.'

I looked down, swallowing. 'Yeah.'

'How come you moved?' He asked.

I looked at him for a moment before answering, 'Everything's better in Texas right?

Peter raised a brow at me, the corner of his mouth curving up.

'I think the sayin' is, everything's _bigger_ in Texas.' He said suggestively, a wicked gleam in his eye.

I laughed, biting my lip, 'Oh yeah?' I flicked my eyes down his body before looking into his eyes with a smirk. 'Is that the truth?'

Peter's smile widened and he shrugged, his eyes mischievous.

I laughed again, feeling my skin heat up.

He smirked at me, taking a sip of scotch.

'Is that really why you came here?'

I drummed my fingers against my glass, 'Sunshine and rainbows, you know…'

Peter laughed softly, his knee gently knocking mine. 'Sunshine and fuckin' rainbows.'

'Are your family here in Houston?' I asked curiously.

Peter frowned, 'Yeah. We're not so close though. I missed a lot when I was gone.' A shadow crossed his face. 'I haven't even told them I'm back yet.'

'Why?' I asked softly, wondering if he was going to answer.

He sighed softly, looking down at his drink. 'A few years ago, one of my nephew's died.'

_Shit. That's heavy._

He took a gulp of his drink. 'By the time I found out…I didn't make it back in time for the funeral…my sister hasn't really spoken to me since.'

I debated on what to say for a moment before deciding to go with my gut.

'It wasn't your fault.' I said softly.

Peter looked up at me and the pain in his eyes made me shiver.

He didn't say anything but just sort of shrugged and looked back down at his drink.

I bit my lip. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say.

'Sorry.' I apologised, looking down.

I jumped when I felt Peter's warm fingers pressing under my chin. He tugged it up gently to look into my eyes and placed a soft, sweet kiss on my mouth.

A jolt of desire snapped down my spine at the feel of his warm lips on mine.

'Thank you.' He said softly, his crystal eyes swirling with emotion.

I swallowed heavily, my gaze dropping down to his mouth as my stomach flipped.

I took a shaky breath and Peter moved his hand to cup the back of my neck.

I watched his lips part, my breathing picking up.

'Fuck.' He breathed. And then he pressed his mouth to mine.

X

Peter scanned his room key against the door and as soon as we were inside, he slammed me against it, his mouth covering mine fiercely. I let out a deep moan into his mouth, gripping the back of his head as I slid my tongue into his mouth. His hands ran down my body, spreading fire across my skin.

I wanted his hands all fucking over me. He grabbed my ass, squeezing it and pushing his hips into mine. I felt the thick length of him, hard against my hip and I shivered with desire.

_Everything's definitely bigger in Texas. _

He flicked his tongue against mine and I gasped, angling my head so I could taste more of him. He pulled back, panting and I grabbed the bottom of his T-Shirt. He lifted his arms up as I ripped it off him. I bit my lip as I looked at his body.

_Fuck. _

Peter was really well-built, his arms, chest and shoulders were huge. A large tattoo of a hawk stretched across his chest. The tips of its wingspan reached his shoulders and the body finished just above his belly button. The ink was really hot. There were a bunch of scars across his arms and chest, though the tattoo covered them up well, and a large jagged scar across the bottom of his stomach. They just made him sexier. I licked my way down his chest, and he groaned, pressing his hips into me harder.

'You're so fucking hot.' I murmured, licking his nipple and biting on it. My hand slid down his muscled stomach, feeling the ridges of his abdomen against my fingertips. I made my way lower, shivering as my hand made contact with the impressively thick bulge in his shorts.

_Fuck yes_.

I palmed it in my hand as I leant up to kiss him roughly. He groaned gutturally, ripping my hand away to grab my shirt, pulling it over my head. His mouth crashed back to mine, his tongue dipping into my mouth. He grabbed my wrists in one large hand and slammed them above my head, the other running down my body and cupping the heat between my legs.

I arched my back into him whimpering and he moaned into my mouth. I tugged my hands out of his so I could grip the back of his head, angling my mouth against his to kiss him more deeply.

Peter shivered, tugging my bottom lip with his teeth as his hand slid up my back, undoing my bra with one hand. He tugged the offending material down my arms roughly, throwing it aside and I gasped in pleasure as his bare chest pressed into mine.

He pulled back to look at me, his eyes a stormy blue as they slid down my naked torso.

'Fuck.' He growled, licking my collarbone as one hand slid up, his thumb brushing over my nipple. I tugged his mouth back up to mine kissing him fiercely, my hand sliding down his muscled back to grab his ass. He groaned into my mouth and in a sudden move, grabbed my legs and picked me up. I bit at his lower lip, sucking it into my mouth he turned and walked backwards, his hands tightly gripping my ass.

He dropped me onto the bed, looking down at me with a sinful expression. I shivered, nudging him towards me by pushing my foot against his ass.

He smirked, bending down and pressing his mouth to mine. I moaned low in my throat and grabbed at his hair, pulling him on top of me.

He fell forward, his arms coming out to the side to protect me from his weight. Pleasure jolted through my body as I felt his abs pressing into my stomach.

'Ungh, Peter.' I gasped into his mouth as his hand grabbed my thigh, hitching it around his hip so the thick length of him pressed right where I was desperate for him.

I arched my back off the bed as his mouth fell to my chest, placing hot, open mouthed kisses across my peaks. He groaned,

'Fuck.' I whimpered as he kissed across my breasts, avoiding my nipple. He was driving me crazy. My whole body was on fire with need.

'Peter, please.' I gasped. He looked up at me, a wicked smile on his face before he ran his tongue across my nipple.

_Oh fuck. _

'Mmm.' I moaned as he sucked it into his mouth. I ground my hips into him, making him groan. He sat back onto his knees, pulling me with him to straddle his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I slid my tongue against his. My breasts were pressed against his chest and the feel of his naked body against mine was driving me crazy.

My whole body was so hot. Every touch was sending sparks across my skin and there was a tightening sensation in my lower abdomen. I rocked my hips into him and he let out a low growl, his hand tangling in my hair tightly. I slid my hands down his hard chest and the ridges in his abdomen, coming to the waistband of his shorts. I moved off his lap, sitting across his thighs so I could undo his belt.

I struggled with his buckle and he helped me,

He stepped off the bed, pulling his shorts down his legs along with his boxers. His cock slapped his stomach lightly.

_Fuck. Me. _

Peter was long and thick, larger than anyone I'd ever been with.

'Fuck.' I said huskily.

He smirked at me, his blue eyes full of lust. 'See something you like sugar?'

I bit my lip, 'Uh-huh.'

I got to my knees in front of him, kissing his stomach and running my hands up his thighs, teasing him. I licked a bead of sweat that trailed down his stomach, moaning. My whole body was on fire.

My hands roamed his muscly back, sliding down to grip his tight ass. He groaned, tilting his head back.

'Fuck.' He hissed as I ran my tongue along his lower stomach. I licked lower, my hand wrapping around his hard cock, looking up at him from under my eyelashes. He growled, tangling his hands in my hair and tugging me upwards.

'Come here sugar.' He said huskily, his hands sliding down my back to grip my ass. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer to him, squeezing my ass roughly. I moaned, opening my legs and he lifted me up, kissing me fiercely. We both groaned as his thick length made contact with my heated centre. I wrapped my legs around him tightly as he tilted his mouth against mine, sliding his tongue into my mouth. He lowered us to the bed gently and slid his hands down my body, pulling my shorts down my legs.

He growled softly when he saw my red thong. 'God damn. You're fuckin' unreal.'

I gasped as he pulled it down my legs, kissing his way down my body.

'Peter, touch me.' I begged breathlessly. Peter smirked as he looked up from where he was licking across my lower stomach.

He pulled my thong away from my soaking centre and he growled. 'Look how fuckin' wet you are for me.' He placed a kiss on my inner thigh, and I shuddered. 'Have you been this wet for me all night sugar?'

'Fuck.' I whimpered as he ran a finger down my slit.

'Mmm you smell so good.' He groaned softly.

My lower stomach jolted at his words. I could feel his breath against my centre, and it felt fucking amazing. My whole body was in overdrive. I wanted him so badly. I was so wet, I could feel it, slick against my thighs.

He licked across my clit and I threw my head back as I cried out in pleasure. His mouth was so wet and hot and ugh.

'Oh fuck, yes.' I cried, tangling my hands in his hair. He hummed against my clit.

'Does that feel good sugar?' He said huskily. He slid a finger inside me and I gasped his name, opening my thighs wider. He chuckled darkly, 'Mm fuck you're so tight.'

'Peter!' I gasped again as his mouth went back to my clit, licking and sucking whilst his finger slammed into me. He added another and started curling them towards him, hitting a spot inside of me that made me see stars.

'Oh fuck.' I cried out. Peter moaned between my legs. He sucked my clit into his mouth and did something with his teeth. It was my undoing. I cried out loudly, arching my back off the bed as pure pleasure rocked through me.

Peter licked up my slit and ran the back of his hand across his mouth, his eyes dark as they looked up at mine. I shivered in pleasure. I wanted him so badly.

'God you're good at that.' I panted.

Peter smirked arrogantly, 'You look so fuckin' sexy when you come.' He said, his voice rough with need. I moaned softly. His hands slid up my stomach and his thumbs ran over my nipples.

He hovered over me, settling his body in between my thighs.

I gasped, moaning as I felt his hot skin between my legs, thick and hard against my entrance. 'Do you want me?' His voice dropped lower as he rubbed circles into my side, driving me fucking crazy. I wanted him to touch me, to fuck me.

I groaned, my eyes meeting his, full of lust. 'Yes.' I shifted my hips against him and the tip of him went inside me.

Peter growled lowly, gripping my hip and I gasped. His mouth dropped to my neck, kissing and nipping it. I cried out as his mouth descended on my breasts, licking across my nipples. My whole body was in overdrive, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was so desperate for him. He was hot and hard between my legs and just one shift of the hips and he'd be inside me, fucking me. My eyes rolled back into my head. I wanted him so badly.

'Peter.' I gasped. 'Please.'

Peter groaned, licking up my neck again, 'Aw fuck, what do you want sugar? Do you want me to fuck you?'

I moaned loudly and his hand slipped between my thighs, '_Fuck_, you're dripping.' I whimpered, shifting my hips against his again and the tip of him slid back into me.

He dropped his head into my neck and growled. 'Fuck.' He pulled back from me, jogging across the room to a large duffle bag on the counter. He pulled out a magnum, tearing it open and sliding it over his erection.

He looked over at me with a smirk. 'You're so fuckin' hot.'

'Come here and fuck me.' I said, biting my lip. Peter growled softly, crawling over my body on the bed and settling between my thighs.

I met his gaze boldly as I gripped his ass and pulled gently, sliding him into me. He was really thick and my eyes rolled back into my head at the sensation.

Peter's head dropped and he let out a guttural groan into my neck. 'Fuck.'

He rocked his hips gently into mine and we both moaned.

'_Fuck._' He panted, gripping my hip with his hand. He hitched my leg up and I dug my heel into his ass as he pulled back a little and then rocked back into me.

'Oh.' I gasped. Peter's body shuddered as he set up a slow, hard, pace, every stroke sending my body further into the abyss. It felt fucking amazing. But it wasn't enough. I wanted more. I needed more.

'Peter.' I panted. He pulled back slightly, his eyes hooded with lust and pleasure. 'I need you to fuck me harder.'

Peter groaned, his eyes closing briefly.

'Please.' I moaned.

Peter licked his lips and pulled out from me, gripping my hips, lifting me up and turning me around so I was on all fours. He groaned, running his hands down my back and my ass. He placed a kiss on my upper back as he gripped my hips and slid into me again.

The angle was…and then he gripped my hips harder and slammed into me with a grunt.

_Oh my god. _

'Fuck, _yes_.' I cried out loudly as he started pounding into me. Every stroke pushed me forward slightly and the headboard was slamming into the wall, my breasts bouncing hard.

'_Fuck_, so fuckin' tight.' Peter growled behind me, one hand slid from my hip to my ass and he squeezed it making me cry out with pleasure. The other hand slid up my back to grip my shoulder, holding me to him as he slammed into me.

It was hard and fast and felt so fucking good. Every nerve ending in my body was lit up.

Unintelligible noises were pouring out of my mouth as he fucked me, it felt un-fucking-believable.

Peter swivelled his hips and angled them slightly to the left and I screamed as he hit a spot inside of me that made my whole-body light up with pleasure.

'Fuck. Yeah.' Peter grunted as he drove his hips into me. My arms were struggling to hold me up and Peter noticed, wrapping his arm across my stomach and pulling me upright against him. The change in position felt amazing.

'_Shit._' He gasped into my ear, increasing his pace. I turned my head, wanting to kiss him and his lips met mine, hot and hungry. He groaned into my mouth and it sounded so fucking hot.

His other hand slid between my legs and he pressed his thumb against my clit, so every time he drove into me it rubbed against me. His hand across my stomach slid up higher to grip my boob roughly, pinching my nipple. I cried out into his mouth in pleasure.

He pulled his mouth from mine breathing heavily and kissed down my neck. 'Are you going to come for me sugar?' He said huskily in my ear. I moaned at his words. 'Fuck, you feel so good.'

I gasped, 'Yes.' I moaned. I could feel myself building towards another orgasm. He slowed down slightly, hitting me deeper and my lower stomach started tensing.

'Ugh fuck.' Peter grunted in my ear. 'That's it you naughty little thing, cum all over my fucking cock.'

The way he was pinching my nipple and his voice in my ear and his thumb against my clit, it was all too much. Light burst behind my eyes as I threw back my head and screamed in pleasure.

Peter groaned behind me as I clenched down on him. He swore, sliding his hand up my front and wrapping his hand around my throat.

'Fuck.' I gasped, my body shuddering.

'You like that sugar?' Peter murmured in my ear as his hips rocked up into me.

'Yes.' I hissed, my head leaning back against his shoulder. He moaned, placing a hot open-mouthed kiss against my neck. He picked up the pace and I cried out in pleasure, my arm gripping his forearm to hold on as my legs shook underneath me.

He released my throat and his arm slid down my body to grip my hip, nudging me gently forward. I put my hands out in front of me, resting them on the bed as he started slamming into me roughly.

I couldn't help the whimpers of pleasure that tore out of my throat. I'd never been fucked so hard before and it felt amazing. I was spasming around him with every thrust, my legs shaking.

My arms collapsed under me, my face pressing into the mattress.

'So good.' I managed to say between moans, 'Fuck, _Peter_.'

'God damn, say my name again, so fuckin' hot.' Peter growled. He let out a deep groan, his hand digging into my side.

'Peter.' I cried.

'Oh fuck, I'm gonna cum.' He grunted. 'Oh _fuck.' _His hips slowed down and he let out a series of shuddering groans before his hips stilled, his hands gripping me tightly.

'Fuck.' He breathed, running a hand down my back and giving my ass another squeeze.

He pulled out of me and I fell, collapsing facedown on the bed. Peter groaned, peeling the condom off, tying it and throwing it on the floor next to us before lying down next to me, breathing heavily.

I crossed my arms to rest them under my chin.

'Jesus, that was amazing.' He said between breaths.

'You were amazing.' I said appreciatively, looking over to him and smirking.

He laughed before leaning forward to kiss me, his lips warm and soft against mine. It was a gentle kiss, no longer full of the frenzied lust from before, but it still caused warmth to spread in my lower stomach. He pulled back with a wink.

'Glad you think so darlin'.'

Darlin'. Jasper. My face fell.

Peter looked at me concerned. 'You okay?'

I sat up, running a hand through my hair. 'Yeah I'm good.'

Jasper and I aren't together, we're not a thing, and we're not exclusive. Besides, I ended it...So why do I feel so guilty?

I needed to stop thinking about him…_now._

Peter frowned at me, his blue eyes curious, 'Do you want something to eat? We could order room service or something.'

I smiled at him and leaned forward to kiss him, my hand wrapping around the back of his neck as I tangled my tongue with his. Peter moaned softly into my mouth and I smiled.

'It's not food that I want.' I said, pulling back from him, smirking at him softly.

'No?' His eyes darkened.

I shook my head slowly. His lips curved up into a wicked smile and he pressed his lips to mine gently. He bit my lower lip lightly, tugging it with his teeth.

'What do you want then?' He asked huskily.

I slid the hand that was around his neck down his muscled back. 'I want you to fuck me until I don't even remember my name.'

Peter made a humming sound then before I could even blink, gripped my ass and pulled me to him, his hand sliding into my hair roughly as he kissed me.

I moaned into his mouth and he rolled on top of me, pinning my arms above my head as he kissed his way down my neck, biting and sucking my skin.

'Oh my god.' I gasped as he gently bit my nipple. He kissed his way down my chest and I felt his lips curve up into a smile.

He moved off the bed and grabbed my legs, tugging me towards him by my thighs. I giggled as he placed a teasing kiss on my lower stomach before grabbing my legs and picking me up. I moaned wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him as he walked us into the bathroom.

X

I pulled my shorts up my legs, glancing at Peter. He was lying on his stomach fast asleep.

The beginnings of a serious hangover were stirring in my head and I grimaced, pulling my top over my head, not bothering with the bra which I threw into my bag.

I slipped out of the room, closing the door gently behind me.

Now I just needed to get out of here. I stared at my phone for a moment.

I had no missed calls or texts at all.

My heart sunk in my chest and I swallowed back the sick feeling that rose in my throat.

_What did you expect Bella, you told Jasper you didn't care about him and that you were bored...why would he call you?_

I stared at my phone screen.

_I mean I guess I thought Paul might call to find out why I called him..._

'Tell her to fuck off.' Rang out in my head again.

My chest constricted painfully.

_Whatever. I don't care._

It was 7am so I had two hours before I needed to be at work.

I'd left my car at the bar, so I needed to get back to it.

I leant my forehead against the wall and sighed frustratedly.

I didn't have any more money left on me, I'd used it to pay off my tab when we left.

Uber was out too because I had no fucking data.

I banged my head into the wall.

There was only one option.

I'd been waiting about 20 minutes in the car park when the car pulled up.

I got in, shutting the door behind me.

'Nice T-shirt.' Rose snorted, rolling her eyes at me.

I shrugged, fighting against the nausea I was feeling.

'You smell like sex and whisky.' She commented, wrinkling her nose.

'I know.' I said with a sigh, leaning my head back against the car seat as she pulled off. 'Thank you for doing this, I owe you big time.'

Rose ignored me, shrugging.

I pulled down the sun-shade and looked in the mirror.

'Fuck.' I grimaced.

My hair was still slightly damp and a complete mess on my head. Any makeup I'd had on must have been scrubbed off in the shower.

Where Peter had fucked me against the wall, hard.

I was sore, my legs ached, and I definitely had a headache.

'Fuck.' I repeated, slamming the mirror shut.

'Want to talk about it?' Rose asked, turning to me as we waited to leave the exit.

'Not particularly.' I said, looking out the window.

'Okay.' She said casually. 'Where am I taking you?'

I sighed. 'I need to pick my car up from the bar.'

'Sure, direct me.' Rose replied, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel.

It was silent for a while.

'You know…you can always call me if shit goes down.' Rose said softly.

I sighed, turning to face her.

She met my gaze briefly before fixing her eyes back on the road.

'I know you and Jasper had a fight.'

'He told you?' I closed my eyes briefly.

'Not what it was about!' Rose said quickly. 'He just called and asked if I'd spoken to you, he sounded worried.'

I huffed, staring out the window.

Doesn't mean anything.

Rose hummed. 'Bella, I know I keep saying this but you can talk to me you know?'

I sighed. 'I just…'

'Struggle to trust people.' Rose finished, fixing me with a small smile.

'Yeah.' I said helplessly.

She shrugged. 'Well, sometimes you have to just take a chance.'

I nodded slowly, staring at the car in front of us.

We were silent for a while as I directed her to the bar.

She stopped outside and raised her eyebrows at me.

'Interesting spot.' She commented.

I laughed lightly, 'Don't hate, it's great. I'll take you sometime.'

Rose smiled, 'I'll hold you to that.'

'How's Em?' I asked her, 'Are you doing okay today?'

Rose's smile fell and she sighed. 'I don't know. We'll see.'

I bit my lip. 'I'm sorry that I'm so…selfish sometimes. I'm a crap friend.'

Rose shook her head at me, 'Everyone's selfish Bella. People who pretend otherwise are just lying.' She smiled at me softly, 'You care, that's enough.'

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently.

She squeezed back.

I took a look at the bar and sighed softly. 'I fucked someone.'

Rose smirked at me, 'I gathered.'

I rolled my eyes, pulling my hand out of hers to run it through my hair. 'Things with Jasper are just so…intense. It's freaking me out, so I ended it.'

She nodded slowly. 'Because you…have feelings for him?'

I groaned, ignoring the question.

She bit her lip, 'I think you do. I think having feelings for Jasper is scaring the shit out of you, and you tried to fuck the feelings away.'

'Are you trying to psychoanalyse my behaviour?' I raised my eyebrow at her.

She smirked, 'No, but I could. Want to know what I think about you and Paul?'

My chest tightened.

'No I fucking don't.' I said irritatedly.

'Wow you're bitchy when you're hungover.' Rose commented, a smile playing at her lips.

'Well you're bitchy always.' I said, raising an eyebrow at her.

She cackled, 'How was the guy in bed?'

I sighed, 'It was fucking amazing at the time, it did exactly what it was supposed to do, distract me.'

Rose raised an eyebrow at me. 'And now?'

'Now I'm not distracted anymore.' I said bleakly.

And I feel guilty.

_Why do I feel so fucking guilty?_

**A/N**

**I know you've been waiting for this update and I hope it delivers! I promise they'll be an Irresistable update ASAP too, I have actually written it - I'm just tweaking!**

**Sorry my updating has been shit. I'm really busy at the moment and because I love these stories so much, I just want to make sure what I write fits and of course that it does the characters justice too. **

**I love hearing your thoughts about the story too - every review is so special to me so thank you!**

**Tell me what you think guys! Also, anyone got any good reading recommendations?!**

**I recently read Laid Bare by Brits23 - So good! Very hot, Vampire Edward and Human Bella - It's in my favourites!**

**Creaatingmadness xo**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

9**am: Why aren't you at school? P**

**11am: Missed call from Paul.**

**11am: You doing okay B? Call me! R x**

**11:15am: Missed call from Paul.**

**12pm: If you don't start replying I'm going to get worried. P**

**1pm: Missed call from Paul.**

I threw my phone down on the bed, slamming a pillow into my face.

Since I finished work on Saturday I'd been holed up in my room with a bottle of whisky, I didn't even hear my alarm go off this morning.

I didn't care.

I didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to be around Jasper or Paul, or anyone right now.

The thought of seeing Jasper caused a lump to form in my throat. I'd been fighting back the urge to cry all day.

I didn't want to stop seeing him.

No matter how much I tried to pretend I didn't, I had feelings for Jasper.

I was missing him, already.

And the worst part was I didn't even miss him because I wanted sex, I wanted to curl up with him and watch a movie or listen to him playing guitar while I lay on his bed reading.

_You are so fucked Bella._

Fucked.

I growled into my pillow angrily.

_Ending it was the right call, wasn't it?_

Not that it matters anyway, he wouldn't want to keep…doing whatever we were doing now that I'd slept with someone else.

My stomach clenched painfully.

I grabbed the whisky bottle and took a big swig.

Then another.

_Like mother like daughter huh Bella._

Fuck.

I screwed the top back on the bottle and threw it onto a pile of clothes in the corner.

I stared at it regretfully.

Now I was going to have to get out of bed to go get it.

_Fuck._

I'd called in sick to work.

I didn't think I could cope with seeing Edward today.

We needed to talk, that was obvious. It's just…I wasn't sure if he even wanted to or what I would actually say to him.

Okay, more whisky is necessary.

I got out of bed reluctantly, grabbing the bottle and crawling back under the covers.

I picked up my phone as I brought the neck of the bottle to my mouth.

**I'm coming over. P**

I almost dropped the bottle, choking on the liquid in my throat.

Shit. When did he send that?

Fuck, 20 minutes ago.

I jumped out of bed irritatedly, slamming the whisky bottle on my desk.

I threw on a T-shirt and stepped out my room to check on Renee. She was fast asleep in her room and the whole space smelt like vodka.

I rolled my eyes at her sleeping form and walked back to mine. I was just about to put on a pair of shorts when there was a knock on the front door.

I sprinted out my room, praying the knocking didn't wake up Renee. I did not want her to speak to Paul again.

Ever.

I flung the door open.

Paul stood there, his arms crossed, an irritated expression on his face.

'Oh, you're alive.' He said sarcastically, pushing past me into the house.

'Paul.' I hissed. 'I didn't say you could come in.'

He ignored me, 'So why the fuck haven't you-'

I clamped my hand over his mouth.

He stared at me with a confused expression.

'Renee is asleep.' I whispered, turning back around to glance at the closed door.

He made a muffled noise against my mouth and I turned back to him confused.

He pulled my hand away from his lips.

'Okay.' He whispered, rolling his eyes. 'No need to go psycho on me.'

He studied me with a frown and I ran a hand through my hair self consciously.

'You okay?' He asked worriedly. 'Have you slept? You look tired.'

I glared at him. 'Thanks for that, I love being told I look like shit.'

He rolled his eyes, 'I didn't say you looked like shit.' He tugged at my hair with a smirk, 'I like the bedraggled look, it's sexy.'

I huffed at him and his irises danced with amusement.

'What are you doing here?' I whispered angrily.

He frowned, his brown eyes curious. 'I was worried. You haven't replied to my messages or my calls for two days and you weren't at school.'

'Yeah well I guess I took the 'fuck off' to heart.' I snapped, forgetting to whisper.

I covered my mouth, glancing at the door worriedly.

Paul sighed, grabbing my keys off of the counter and then grabbing my hand.

'What are you doing?' I hissed.

He pulled me out of the front door, shutting it and locking it behind him.

'I can't be fucked to whisper.' He shrugged.

I stared at him incredulously. 'Paul I'm in a fucking t-shirt and I have no shoes on.'

His eyes flicked down my body and he smirked, 'Hmm.'

I gave him a _what the fuck_ look and he rolled his eyes.

'Fine, go and get dressed and meet me at my car in 5.' He started to turn around when he paused, looking back at me. 'I will come and get you if you're not there.' He stated, raising an eyebrow at me.

'Fucking whatever.' I snapped, grabbing my keys off him.

**X**

I threw open his car door and flung myself in the passenger seat, glaring at him.

He made an amused sound.

'What do you fucking want?' I snapped, crossing my arms.

Paul placed a hand on his chest, his eyes dancing with humour. 'Ouch.'

'Paul, I'm not joking.' I said seriously.

He frowned at me, 'Yeah I see that. Want to explain why you're so fucking mad at me?'

I rolled my eyes. 'I'm not mad.'

Paul groaned, turning on the car.

'What are you doing?' I asked irritatedly.

'I'm fucking starving and I can see you're playing the whole, 'I'm pretending not be mad when I'm actually mad shit', so while we do that, I'm driving to IHOP because I really fucking want pancakes for dinner and I can't be assed to make any.' He winked at me and put the car into gear.

I fought a smile, settling for glaring at the dashboard.

'So, what did I do to make you not mad at me?' Paul asked, turning to look at me with a raised eyebrow as we stopped at lights.

I didn't answer, keeping my eyes forward.

Paul laughed lightly, 'Oh good, I love the silent game. You can't ignore me forever sugar,' He tugged on my hair gently with his left hand. 'I'm way too fucking annoying.'

I huffed, turning to stare out the window.

'Bella, Bella, Bella, why do you hate me.' Paul sang off-key.

I couldn't fight the laugh that bubbled in my throat and he turned to me with a satisfied smile.

'Aha, you can't stay mad at me beautiful.'

'Yes, I can.' I snapped.

Paul made a triumphant noise, 'So you admit you're mad.'

'Fuck.' I hissed.

He laughed.

I snuck a glance at him out the corner of my eye.

His mouth was curved up into a small smile as he gazed at the road.

A felt a lurch in my chest and I turned my head away from him.

He kept on blabbing as he drove, talking absolute shit.

I tried to ignore him but ended up listening, toying with a rip in my jeans as a smile played at my mouth.

He pulled into the parking lot and turned to face me.

My smile fell.

'Pancake time.' He said jubilantly.

I shook my head, 'You go, I'm not hungry.'

Paul studied me for a moment, his deep brown eyes fixed on mine.

He cupped my cheek in his warm hand, 'Bella.' He breathed, 'What did I do?'

I leant into his touch automatically, my eyes closing briefly.

I heard the sound of two seatbelt clicks and then he was pulling me into a hug, his arms wrapping firmly around my waist.

I resisted for a second before giving in, burying my face in his neck tightly.

I breathed him in, the cinnamon and sweet scent of his skin making my stomach clench.

For the first time since I left Jasper's I felt myself relax.

He was so warm and smelt so good.

'I'm sorry for whatever I did.' He said into my hair, holding me tightly.

I burrowed deeper into him and he kissed my head.

'Why do you smell like whisky.' He asked, pulling back and fixing me with a stern expression.

His eyes grew concerned as he studied me.

'What's the matter? Talk to me. What did I do?'

I swallowed heavily. 'You didn't do anything.'

Paul frowned, biting his lip, 'In your house you said, you took the 'fuck off' to heart, what the fuck does that mean?

I frowned back. 'What do you think?'

He glared at me, 'I don't fucking know Bella…'

I pulled back from him completely. 'I heard you tell Kate to tell me to fuck off.'

'What?' Paul's expression was confused.

I sighed frustratedly, 'On Friday night, when I called.'

Paul frowned, 'You didn't call me on Friday night? I was at Kate's…'

I shook my head at him, 'Yes… I did. Kate answered and I asked to talk to you, she muted me and then she came back to say you were busy. I heard you say, 'Tell her to fuck off.' And then I hung up, because…'

Paul's face went dark and his jaw twitched. 'Bella.' He said calmly, 'I swear, I didn't know that was you on the phone. Kate said it was Irina.'

I looked at him for a moment. 'Didn't you see that I'd called when you looked at your call history?'

Paul shook his head, his eyes narrowing. 'No. She must have deleted it.'

'Right.' I said, turning to face forwards. I wasn't sure if I believed him.

He sighed softly, 'Bella, I'd never tell you to fuck off, you know that.'

I swallowed, looking down.

He tilted my chin up, his brown eyes staring deeply into mine.

'I will never, ever not be there for you, understand?'

I nodded slowly, feeling my heart race in my chest.

'Were you calling because you needed me?' Paul asked worriedly, 'Was it your mom?'

'It wasn't my mom.' I said, breathing out slowly. 'It doesn't matter.'

Paul made a frustrated sound.

'I'm sorry.' He said quietly.

I turned to him, biting my lip. 'Even if you had said it, it's not a big deal.'

Paul raised an eyebrow at me, an amused smile on his face. 'Uh-huh, that's why you haven't spoken to me in two days.'

I pushed him and he laughed lightly. 'Come on, I wasn't joking when I said I was starving.'

**X**

'Have you spoken to Jasper.' I asked Paul curiously, raising an eyebrow as he shoved blueberry pancake into his mouth.

He swallowed, his jaw twitching, 'Why?'

'No reason.' I said, looking back down at my pancakes.

Paul sighed, 'Bella?'

I stabbed a piece of pancake with my fork. 'I just wanted to know what he said to you about the fact we're not…' I struggled to think of the right way to describe Jasper and my relationship, 'Sleeping together anymore.'

'What?' Paul choked.

I looked up at him surprised, 'He didn't tell you?'

'What um, happened?' Paul said, his eyes full of curiosity and something else I couldn't place.

I sighed, 'I ended it.'

'Why?' Paul asked in a strange voice.

I swallowed heavily. 'I told you I'd stop it before it got too far. This way we're ending it before anyone gets hurt.'

I stabbed another piece of pancake. I'd only taken like two bites. I didn't have an appetite.

'When did this happen?' Paul asked, making me look up from my plate.

He looked pensive.

'Friday night.' I answered softly.

Paul's eyes flicked up to mine. 'When you tried to call me?'

I nodded, swallowing.

He smoothed his hand over his forehead.

'Why did you call me?'

I bit my lip. 'Because you're my best friend and I was upset, I don't know I just…'

Paul's eyes flashed briefly with something I could have sworn was disappointment, but it was gone so quickly I wondered if I imagined it.

'Are you sure it's over?'

I nodded.

'I told him that I didn't care about him.' I said, sighing.

'But you do, don't you.' He stated sharply, making me look up at him.

He was staring down at his plate, his expression confused, almost like he was having an internal war with himself.

'You should talk to him.' He said after a while.

'I can't.' I voiced softly.

Paul looked at me, his brown eyes confused, 'Why?'

I breathed out slowly, 'It's too late.'

'Why?' He repeated, his eyebrow arching.

'I slept with someone.'

'You what?' Paul slammed his cup to the table so hard it sloshed everywhere.

I jumped, looking at him with a confused expression. He closed his eyes, running a hand through his hair.

'Who?'

'Just a guy in a bar.' I admitted.

Paul swallowed, his jaw tight.

'When?' His eyes opened, staring into mine.

I bit my lip, 'Friday.'

Paul searched my eyes intensely.

'Was that before or after you called me?'

'After.' I said softly.

Paul's gaze dropped down to his plate, his eyes swirling with an emotion I couldn't place.

There was a long pause.

'You weren't exclusive, were you?' He finally said.

I frowned, 'No, well… no. But…still.'

'He'll get over it.' He stood up abruptly and I stared up at him curiously, 'Be right back, need to pee.'

I nodded, staring back down at my pancakes.

If Paul had just answered his phone I wouldn't have slept with Peter and I…

No I needed to stop going over what if's.

Jasper and I weren't exclusive. Technically I didn't do anything wrong…

Ugh but then why do I feel like I can't face him.

I checked my messages on my phone again.

Nothing from Jasper.

I ran a hand over my face frustratedly.

Clearly pushing him away had worked.

But that was what I wanted, wasn't it?

Fuck.

I hovered over his number in my phone.

I wanted to text him.

But I couldn't.

Sleeping with Peter had ruined any chance of him wanting to keep hanging out with me.

Besides, he knew about...things now. I couldn't deal with that…could I?

I pushed my food round on my plate.

Paul took a while and I gave up trying to eat my pancakes, settling for staring at the people as they sat around us.

I was getting heavily invested in a couple having a heated discussion a few tables away when Paul came back.

'You ready?' He asked me, throwing some money on the table.

I looked at his half-eaten pancakes and then up at him, 'Yeah?' I said, confused. 'I thought you were starving?'

Paul smiled tightly, 'My eyes were bigger than my stomach.' He shrugged.

'Okay.'

We walked outside and got into his car. 'Listen, I've got some shit to do tonight, is it cool if I drop you off now?' He said in a casual tone, clicking in his seatbelt.

'Are you ditching me to fuck one of the harem?' I teased.

Paul shrugged, meeting my gaze blankly, no hint of a smile at his mouth.

I sighed, narrowing my eyes. 'Are you mad at me?'

Paul raised an eyebrow at me, 'Why would I be mad at you?'

I bit my lip, 'I don't know…'

He pulled off, his eyes glancing in the mirror as we turned out of the carpark.

'You seem like you're mad.' I smiled at him playfully, 'Kinda ironic that I was mad at you on the way to get pancakes, and you're mad at me on the way back.'

'I'm not fucking mad.' Paul snapped.

I shook my head, getting irritated. 'Yeah that's why you're biting my head off.'

'I'm not.' Paul practically growled.

'Clearly.' I retorted angrily.

Paul stayed silent, eyes on the road and I huffed, turning to face out the window.

I tried to speak to him a few more times but everything I said he responded to in clipped, monotonous tone.

I gave up, glaring out the window for the rest of the journey to my flat.

He pulled to a stop outside, his jaw tight.

I stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to speak but he didn't say anything.

'Wow. Okay then.' I snapped, undoing my seat belt and opening the car door.

I turned back to look at Paul and he was looking down, his face withdrawn.

I slammed the door and stormed off.

**X**

Even though I was sorely tempted to finish off the bottle of whisky in my room, I ignored it.

I had to face school tomorrow, whether I wanted to or not and drinking half a bottle of whisky would make getting up tomorrow a fucking nightmare.

I grabbed some homework instead and settled at the desk trying to clear my head.

After a few hours, Renee woke up, slurring and tripping to the sofa where she curled up watching some crappy Spanish drama on the TV.

'You don't even speak Spanish.' I commented to her, looking up from the table where I was trying to focus on the essay in front of me, and not on Paul or Jasper or Edward.

'That's what the subtitles are for.' She quipped, fixing me with a raised eyebrow.

'Eres ridícula sabes' I muttered under my breath.

You're ridiculous you know.

'Hey, I know some Spanish. Just because Ella taught you doesn't mean you can use it to talk shit.' Renee glared.

I rolled my eyes, looking back at my work.

Things were peaceful for a while then she stood up from the sofa and started singing a song from an advert.

I told her to stop because I was working but she ignored me.

'Come here and dance with me.' She giggled manically.

I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled.

'I'm going for a run.' I stated, throwing my shit on the table.

She didn't even reply.

I slammed the door on my way out.

**X**

_This is healthy. Running is good for me. It's not drugs, alcohol or fucking random guys, it's just good old fashioned…oh my god I can't breathe._

'That's enough.' I said to myself between breaths. I'd made it much further this time, it was almost 9pm. The street was heavily lit but the cars were starting to dwindle and I didn't want to keep going.

_I really want a cigarette._

A song came on by My Chemical Romance and I spun around and picked up my pace, slamming my feet into the pavement in time with the beat.

I'm so pissed at Paul I could punch him in his stupid face.

I scowled, running faster.

I couldn't stop thinking about Jasper either. Should I try and talk to him? But what would I even say?

Hey Jasper, so, I lied when I said I don't care about you, but I also freaked the fuck out after our fight and slept with someone. Also, I don't know if I can actually ever commit to you. Do you still want me?

I laughed to myself. Yep, not going to happen.

God the thought of Jasper hurt.

I got to the bottom of my street and sighed in relief.

I slowed down to a walk before coming to a stop and bending over, wheezing heavily.

'Fuck.' I breathed, pulling my headphones out my ears.

_Now for my reward._

I grabbed a cigarette from the pack in my jumper and placed it between my lips.

'That kind of defeats the point darlin'.'

I looked to my right sharply, the cigarette dangling limply from my open mouth.

Jasper was leaning against his car, his crystal eyes fixed on me, a smirk playing at his lips.

My heart started racing even faster as I took in his appearance. His golden hair was slightly damp, his bright blue eyes standing out sharply against his tanned skin. He was in a pair of grey shorts and a sport's top.

I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face at the sight of him but I forced it back.

'On the contrary, I think I've earned it.' I replied, taking it out my mouth and walking towards him.

He moved off his car, stepping forwards to meet me.

'Paul told me where you live…I tried to call you.' His eyes were unreadable as he gazed at me.

That manipulative fucker.

I bit my lip, holding up my phone. 'Flight mode. Didn't want my run to be interrupted.'

He nodded slowly, glancing down at my body before back up to my eyes.

I swallowed. I probably looked awful. I was covered in sweat and my face was definitely bright red.

'Good run?' Jasper asked, coming to standing in front of me.

I inhaled, breathing in his spicy scent and fighting the urge to hug him.

I wiped my brow with an embarrassed smile, averting my eyes from his. 'Yeah. Well, I'm trying. It's a hot night, I'm really sweaty.'

I peeked at him under my lashes.

'Yeah it's warm out.' Jasper said softly, the corner of his mouth turning up as he gazed at me.

My heart flipped in my chest.

Jasper ran a hand through his hair, his bright blue eyes intense.

'Bella I-'

'What-'

We stopped and I l bit my lip.

'Um, you go.' I offered.

Jasper sighed softly, 'I'm sorry for what I said.'

'Don't apologise.' I said shaking my head.

Jasper winced, 'I was being a dick.'

I swallowed, looking down for a second before looking back up at him, 'No. I was.'

He bit his lip, 'I shouldn't have said...what I said, and I had no right to try to…tell you how to deal with your feelings.'

'Jas…'

'Bella.' He said quickly. 'You were right when you said you didn't ask for me to care, you were very straight with me in the beginning about what this was…just because I have feelings for you, it doesn't mean you have to have them back. I was trying to give you space, that's why I haven't called you or text you...but then Paul said-'

'Jas, stop.' I said, feeling my eyes burn. 'I…' I closed my eyes tightly, 'I slept with someone on Friday night.'

I heard his sharp intake of breath and I squeezed my eyes tighter. This was it, he was going to walk away.

'Do I know them?'

I opened my eyes in surprise.

'No.'

Jasper ran his hand through his blonde hair, his eyes flashing with hurt. 'I guess you weren't lying when you said you were bored.'

'Jas, that's not…'

I stopped. What was I supposed to say? I'd pushed him away for a reason.

I sighed helplessly at him, feeling a stinging sensation behind my eyes.

Jasper studied me for a second, searching my eyes.

'Are you going to see this person again?'

'No.' I said firmly. 'It was just a hook up. I was…pissed off and sad and I just…'

'Did you mean it when you said you don't want to do this anymore?'

_No._

I sighed.

'Jas…'

'Answer the question Bella.' He stated firmly, his eyes dancing with irritation.

'Why does it matter?' I asked, swallowing as I stared into his eyes.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'I fucked someone else. Doesn't that make this conversation redundant.'

Jasper's eyes narrowed, 'We weren't exclusive.'

'I know but…how are you okay with this?' I asked confused.

Jasper breathed out slowly, his eyes darkening. 'I'm not okay with it. I hate the thought of some other guy's hands on you. But I have no right to be mad at you, we're not a couple, you can do what you want.' He sighed softly, 'Bella, I need to know if you were telling the truth when you said you were done with me, so are you?'

I shivered as I stared into his eyes.

Jasper's eyes flashed and he stepped closer to me. Heat danced over my skin as I breathed him in.

I had to tilt my chin up to look at him and my breathing hitched as I looked into his stormy blue eyes.

His hands came to rest gently on my waist and my stomach flipped, electricity flooding through me.

God, what was it about Jasper that made my body seem to ignite like it was on fire.

'Jasper.' I breathed, forcing my gaze up to his.

His hands on my waist tightened slightly, his eyes burning into mine.

'Do you still want to be with me?' He asked.

I exhaled slowly.

_Yes. But…._

'Jas.' I said softly, 'This…' I gestured between us. 'It's a lot. I'm not...ugh.' I sighed, 'I feel like you want things from me that I can't give you. I don't know if I can be someone's girlfriend, meet the parents, be that kind of girl.'

'I'm not asking you to be.' Jasper stated firmly, his blue eyes swirling with emotion.

I gave him a small smile, 'At some point,' I gestured between us. 'This isn't going to be enough for you.'

He shook his head, 'You're wrong.'

'Am I?' I asked softly, reaching up to cup his cheek. 'I want you Jasper, but I think I'm just being selfish here. You deserve so much more. You deserve someone who can commit to you, who isn't going to freak out and sleep with someone every time we argue, or you get too close.'

He swallowed, looking down at me, his bottomless blue eyes intense. 'Do you feel anything for me?'

I closed my eyes briefly. 'Jas…'

'Bella, just answer the question.'

'Yes.' I admitted, my eyes opening. 'I care about you, I like you. I want you. Is that what you wanted to hear? It doesn't change anything Jasper. I can't…I can't be what you want. You were right with what you said, things in my life are fucked up. And so am I. If I-'

'Bella.' Jasper interrupted.

'What?' I gazed up at him.

'Shut the fuck up.' He smirked, leaning down and pressing his mouth to mine firmly as he pulled me into his arms.

I gasped into his mouth as his warm lips moved against mine, wrapping my arms around his neck as I kissed him back. I felt him smile against my lips and then shivered as his tongue ran along my bottom lip, seeking entrance. I opened my mouth, sliding my tongue to meet his.

_Fuck._

How can anyone taste so fucking good. I shivered, my fingers knitting into the damp hair at the nape of his neck tightly as his tongue tangled with mine.

Jasper groaned softly into my mouth, his hands pulling me into his warm body.

The sound made me whimper and Jasper shuddered, sucking my bottom lip as his hand cupped my cheek.

I moaned, pressing myself closer into him.

His tongue felt so good in my mouth, licking against mine.

Heat curled in my stomach. I gripped him tighter, stepping into him as I angled my head against his, a sigh escaping my mouth.

I felt Jasper's mouth curve into a smile and then he pulled back, his crystal eyes meeting mine.

'Hmm.' He hummed, 'That was some kiss for someone who says she's bored…' He teased, his hand drifting down to my ass and squeezing gently.

His mouth brushed my ear and he bit the lobe softly.

I sagged against him and he laughed in the low, seductive chuckle that always drove me crazy.

I pulled back, my eyes hooded as I gazed at him and he smirked, his thumb running across my bottom lip.

'Well…' he murmured, placing a gentle kiss by my mouth. 'As much as I want to take you home, I have to ask…' He sighed, 'This guy…did you…I mean are you…'

I swallowed as I realised what he was trying to say.

'I used protection obviously but I'm going to get tested tomorrow and I'll get the results Wednesday.' I said looking down.

Jasper tilted my chin up with his forefinger and thumb, his bright blue eyes soft as they gazed at me.

'Okay.'

'I'm…' I trailed off into nothing, not sure what to say.

An apology seemed stupid, technically I hadn't done anything wrong.

Jasper just tugged me into him and I wrapped one arm around his torso, burying my face into his hard chest as his arms circled me tightly.

I took a breath and felt my whole body relax as his scent washed over me.

'I missed you.' He murmured above my head, kissing it gently. 'Hmm, salty.' He teased. I sprung my head up and pouted at him.

He grinned, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

I bit my lip. 'Are you sure we're okay?'

Jasper smiled softly, tugging on the end of my ponytail. 'We're okay.'

**X**

'Gar, where's Mason?' I asked as I handed him the new brake pads.

His eyes flicked up from what he was doing and he studied me for a moment.

'It's not really my place to say Bella.' Garett said softly, offering me a helpless look.

I sighed frustratedly.

Edward hadn't been to work for three days. He'd apparently come in on Monday but because I'd called in sick I wasn't there and since then he hadn't made an appearance.

I didn't know if I was glad, or upset by it.

On the one hand I was nervous about seeing Edward and talking to him, even though that was stupid because I'd been seeing him every week...ugh it's just different now that I know.

I wanted to talk to him, I think.

And I wanted to know if he hadn't come in because he was avoiding me.

Garett clearly knew why he wasn't here. It was obvious from his expression.

I looked at him pleadingly and he groaned.

'Not the puppy dog eyes Bells.'

'Is he okay?' I asked, pouting at Garett.

He chuckled at me, shaking his head. 'Master manipulator 'aint ya honey.'

I smiled at him sweetly and he rolled his eyes.

'Mace will be back tomorrow. You can ask him yourself. I'm not telling you anything more.'

I nodded.

At least he was okay.

More importantly, I had until tomorrow to figure out what to say to him...

The rest of my shift passed uneventfully, apart from Royce infringing on my personal space again. Lex and Sam managed to distract him so I could get away but he was really starting to piss me off.

I pulled up at Embry's house with a sigh.

Why are all my friends at this school so fucking well off.

The enormous house looming in front of me was like something out of a TV show, with an immaculate garden and a huge SUV sat in the driveway.

I hadn't been here before, because unlike the rest of us single children, Embry had four siblings, making his house kind of undesirable to hang out in.

Luckily the twins were at a friends house and his parents had gone camping with Amelia and Ash, so we were able to hang out without being interrupted.

Even Emmett was coming. His mom was doing a little better which made him hopeful and Rose a nervous wreck. She was waiting for the other pin to drop and to be honest, so was I.

We'd had a big chat on Wednesday when he got back and I opened up to him about my auntie, something I hadn't told anyone except Edward. I felt awful for being so self-absorbed that I hadn't asked him about something being wrong earlier, but when I apologised he'd just laughed at me and said, 'Bella, if I asked you everytime you looked upset I'd be asking you daily.'

I knocked on the door with a yawn. The others had been here since school finished so I almost definitely had some catching up to do.

It swung open just as I was about to knock again and my breath caught in my throat when I locked eyes with Paul's deep brown ones.

Things between us were really weird right now. To anyone else we probably seemed the same as usual. But in the moments when we were alone…it was strikingly obvious that he was…annoyed at me. Truthfully, I was annoyed too, but more because he was mad at me for seemingly no reason.

'Hey.' He said softly, moving aside to let me in.

'Hey yourself.' I stated.

His pupils were dilated and his brown eyes were slightly hooded, his long black lashes obscuring the iris partially.

'We getting high?' I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He nodded, 'Except your boyfriend, he's in training mode.'

I breathed out a sigh. 'He's not my…' I trailed off irritatedly.

Paul smirked at me. 'Irina is here.'

_Fuck my life._

'Why?' I groaned.

Paul's eyes glimmered, 'Because I wanted her here.'

'I get it, you want to get your dick wet, but why her.' I complained, following him into the kitchen where he handed me a beer.

His eyes locked with mine, 'Would it make much difference if it was someone else?' He raised an eyebrow.

I scoffed but didn't say anything.

Paul stepped towards me, his warm thumb stroking under my eye. 'Are you sleeping?'

I moved his hand away roughly. 'Do you care?'

He made a frustrated sound, 'You know I fucking care.'

'Well you don't fucking act like it.' I snapped.

'What are you two arguing about?' Embry asked from the doorway, making us both jump.

'Nothing.' Paul said brusquely, giving me one last look and then walking off.

Embry raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

I stepped forward and hugged him. 'How you doing Em? Are they eating you out of house and home?'

He smiled at me, the dimples in his cheeks showing. 'I've been sent to order pizza and get some snacks…'

I laughed and stayed with him when he ordered pizza, before helping him gather a bunch of food, following him down the stairs at the end of the hall.

The house was filled with photos and little trinkets, things that made it a home.

I stared at all the cute family photos, ignoring the jealously that burned in my gut.

'How are your parents okay with you smoking down here?' I asked him, surprised by the heavy scent of weed that hit us as we got halfway down the stairs.

He laughed, 'My parents are surprisingly cool with weed, they even do it sometimes, although not around the twins obviously.'

'That's sick.'

I raised my eyebrows in shock when we got downstairs.

It was basically every kid's wet dream.

In the middle of the room there was a huge flatscreen with an oversized U shaped sofa with loads of bean bags and futons in front of in.

To its left, there was a pool table and a fusball table. To the right the space was dominated by a solid oak bar and the accompanying stools in front of it.

Rose and Emmett were chilling on the floor, Rose sitting between his legs.

Paul was standing over by the pool table where Irina was bent over, sticking her ass out provocatively as she wielded the cue.

'Where's J-' I had barely finished the sentence when I felt warm arms wrap around my stomach and I was pulled back into a hard chest.

'Right here baby.' He murmured in my ear, kissing my neck.

Warmth spread in my stomach.

I smiled and tilted my head back to look at him.

His golden waves were tucked behind his ears, his blue eyes bright as they locked with mine.

'Hi.' I said with a smile.

He kissed my mouth, his warm palm splaying across my stomach, making me shiver.

'You gonna feel me up or help me with these snacks.' I teased, pushing my ass back into him playfully.

Jasper nipped at my bottom lip in response, pulling back with a sparkle in his eyes.

'Yes ma'am.' He drawled, placing another sweet kiss on my mouth.

I rolled my eyes at him. He knew what that accent did to me.

He smirked at me and took the stuff out my hands, walking over to where Embry was dumping the snacks on the sofa.

I laughed to myself, stopping abruptly when I met Paul's glare.

I raised an eyebrow at him questioningly and he shook his head, fixing Irina with a smirk and placing a hand on her ass.

Ugh.

My stomach twisted.

'How was work B?' Rose asked me, tearing open a bag of potato chips.

I smiled at her and went to sit on the floor with them as Jasper and Embry continued the fussball game they must have been in the middle of.

'Fine. There's this guy at the garage that's really annoying me though, he's super persistent and just…creepy.'

'What happened?' Paul asked, turning to look at me.

I pretended I hadn't heard him.

Rose made an amused sound. 'Persistent as in trying to sleep with you?'

Jasper hooted as he scored a goal and then the thunderous noise of fussball began again.

'Yep.' I rolled my eyes. 'The guys are zero help too. Lex thinks it's hilarious and so does Mason, not that he's been there this week. It's just been me and Garett.'

'Lex?' Paul asked, walking over to us.

Irina huffed indignantly.

'Alex.' I expanded. 'One of the guys, you didn't meet him.'

Paul frowned at me.

'Not being funny Bells, but don't they all want to sleep with you?' Emmett asked, genuine curiosity on his face.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

He smiled, dimples sticking out of his cheek, 'You're a hot chick who knows about cars, and you're working in a garage surrounded by guys, who also happen to be very into cars.'

Rose made a face to say, he has a point and I shrugged.

'Maybe in some like shiny new toy way. But not really. Most of the guys don't come onto me. I mean they flirt and stuff but they don't proposition me or anything.'

'And this guy does?' Paul asked, sitting down on the sofa in front of us.

'It's not a big deal. If he ever did anything I think Mason would knock him out.'

'That's the guy I met right? The pretty one with the motorbike.'

I nodded. 'Yeah.'

'The pretty one?' Emmett smirked, 'You got a crush Paul?'

Paul rolled his eyes. 'I don't. But he does. On Bella.'

I shook my head. 'It's not like that, we're barely even friends.'

Paul laughed obnoxiously. 'Yeah okay. He wants you Bella, trust me.'

I hadn't told anyone that Mason was Edward.

That the brooding, sexy car mechanic was actually my oldest friend and had been since we were 4.

'Trust me. He doesn't.' I said irritatedly.

Edward might be attracted to me and god knows I'm attracted to him, but that was it.

Aside from pheromones, he seemed to pretty much hate me.

And he hadn't told me who he was.

And I hadn't recognised him.

Ugh.

I need a drink.

I tipped my head back gulping down some beer.

The bitter taste awakened my taste buds, the liquid fizzing on my tongue.

Delicious.

'Who's into Bella?' Jasper said, as he and Embry came over. He sat on the sofa and Em straddled a futon.

'Who isn't.' Rosalie smirked at me.

I sneered at her.

'I thought we were getting high?' I said, changing the subject.

Irina sauntered over to us and placed herself in Paul's lap.

I grimaced.

Jasper pulled out a perfectly rolled joint, holding it between his forefinger and thumb.

'Here ya go darlin'.' He smirked at me.

I grinned, moving so I was sitting on the floor with my back against his legs.

'Swap?' I said, tilting my head back onto his lap to look up at him, my hand holding up the beer I was drinking.

He bent down to kiss me and I laughed into his mouth as the other's protested at the PDA.

He pulled back with a satisfied smirk and took the bottle from me playfully, placing the joint between my lips.

'Just three more weeks and I can smoke again.' He said with a sigh, his head leaning back up towards the ceiling.

I lit the joint, taking it in deeply and holding it in my lungs for a while.

I let it drift out of my mouth and reinhaled through my nose, like a dragon.

'Why can't you smoke now?' Irina asked curiously.

Jasper grinned, 'Cos' of swimming. I've got regionals next week and then nationals in another two.'

I handed the joint to Rose.

'Wow I didn't know you were that good.' Irina said bluntly, raising her eyebrows and smiling at him.

Jasper laughed softly. 'Thanks darlin'.'

I stiffened at the endearment.

I hated it when he used that on other girls.

He obviously felt it because he chuckled slightly under his breath. I shivered as he bent towards my ear and kissed the skin there softly.

'I like it when you get jealous.' He murmured, placing another kiss on my neck as his warm hands skimmed up my arms gently.

My heart skittered in my chest.

Embry and Rose started arguing about some movie and I felt a wave of tiredness hit me, turning so I could rest my head against Jasper's knee.

His hand stroked through my hair gently and I hummed.

I felt like I could barely keep my eyes open.

Paul and I met gazes and he raised his eyebrow at me as if to say 'I told you you were tired.'

I huffed at him and he tilted his head toward the stairs.

Nope. I don't want to talk.

I shook my head at him and he sighed, shooting me a beseeching look.

I shook my head more resolutely.

Irina made an irritated noise. 'What are you doing?'

I locked eyes with her and frowned. 'Huh?'

She gestured to me, 'You keep making faces.'

'That's just Paul and Bella having their silent conversations.' Embry said from his futon, blowing smoke out from his nose. 'You'll get used to it.'

She frowned. 'What are you saying to each other?'

I raised an eyebrow at her. 'I'd tell you…except it's none of your fucking business.' I smiled sweetly.

Paul sighed at me as Irina huffed and I smiled wider.

'I was just telling her she looks tired.' He elaborated.

'And I was telling him to fuck off.' I said frostily, glaring at him.

He winked at me.

Irina studied me, 'You do look a bit…shit?' She smirked.

'And yet I still look better than you.' I returned, smirking back. 'Funny that.'

She snorted, 'You're delusional.'

'That was a big word, well done.' I commended, smiling sweetly. 'Do you know what it means?'

'Meow.' Emmett laughed.

Jasper sighed exasperatedly.

Irina bristled, 'You're such a bitch.'

'Aw, now you've hurt my feelings.' I said sarcastically.

'Play nice girls.' Paul said with an amused smile.

I glared at him. 'No puedo creer que me estés sometiendo a este jodido idiota.' I complained in rapid Spanish.

Irina scowled. 'Did you just call me an idiot?'

Paul stifled a laugh.

I stared at her, 'You caught that did you? Maybe you're not as dumb as you look.'

'Bella.' Jasper sighed, his thumb rubbing the back of my neck.

'You're so fucking jealous it's pathetic.' Irina spat.

I laughed, arching my brow, 'Why the fuck would I be jealous of you?'

'Because of Paul.' Irina glared at me. 'He didn't want you, so you've moved on to Jasper's dick instead. Who's next, Embry?'

Embry blushed, 'Hey, that was uncalled for.'

I laughed, shaking my head, 'Excuse me while I saviour the irony of you calling me a slut.'

She stood up angrily. 'You're a psychotic bitch. The only reason anyone wants to be around you is because you spread your legs so easily. No wonder Paul got bored of you.'

_Are you fucking kidding?_

I started to get up but Jasper pulled me back onto his lap, his strong arms tightening around my stomach.

'Do you actually think he wants you?' I snapped at her. 'God you're even more stupid than I fucking thought. Wake up sweetie, he's sleeping with like 5 of you and you mean nothing to him. You'll be gone in a few weeks and he won't even remember your name. You don't fucking know him.'

Irina whirled on Paul. 'Are you seriously going to let her talk to me like that and not say anything?'

He held his hands up, 'Look, you started it with her. You shouldn't have picked a fight if you couldn't handle it.'

She made an incredulous face. 'So, what…you're picking this slut over me?'

His face darkened and he stood up. 'Don't speak about her like that.'

Rose stifled a laugh from the floor and I gave her a murderous look.

Irina shook her head at him, 'Unbelievable.' Her face flashed, 'I'm not the idiot Paul, you are. You have fucking feelings for her, don't you?'

There was an awkward pause and Jasper's hands tightened across my stomach.

For fucks sake.

'No.' Paul stated firmly. 'But she is one of my best friends, so I don't want you to talk about her like that, okay?'

We locked eyes for a second and my heart raced in my chest.

Fuck.

Irina left and the atmosphere was awkward for about 10 minutes, until the pizza arrived and everyone kind of relaxed.

The rest of the night was a blur of weed, copious amounts of snacks and pizza and laughs.

Nobody commented on what Irina had said about Paul having feelings for me, but as the night went on, in back of my mind I couldn't help but ponder the strange feeling of disappointment that arose from his response.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

I pulled up to the garage, my hands shaking on the steering wheel.

After I'd got home after Embry's I'd pretty much stayed awake all night stressing about seeing Edward.

I had such mixed feelings.

I wanted to talk to him, to reconnect but…

I was also mad at him.

He never tried to contact me.

The fight we had before I found out about Char-Tanya, was bad but in the back of my mind I guess I kind of expected him to...come back around.

For someone who claimed to have feelings for me he clearly meant it when he said he was done.

More than that, he didn't tell me who he was when we ran into each other again. Yeah, maybe I should have recognised him but…when I didn't, he should have come clean.

So...I was mad. And Edward was definitely mad at _me._

The problem was, now we were back in each other's lives.

So…what was I supposed to do?

I had so many questions.

Why was he here? Why wasn't he in school? When did he start working with cars? Why didn't he contact me?

Fuck.

I got out the car.

Edward was underneath a Porsche, I could see his legs and the black and blue shoes he also wore.

Garrett smiled at me as I walked over.

My heart was racing.

'Hey Bells.' Garrett greeted me.

There was a loud smack underneath the car and we both looked down worriedly.

Mas-Edward pushed himself out from under the car, rubbing his head.

'Hi.' I said softly.

Bright green eyes met mine and my stomach lurched.

How the fuck did I not recognise him.

Those eyes were the same eyes that narrowed angrily as he shoved Billy Noxi in the playground for biting me when we were 7.

That glowed triumphantly when we managed to break into the chocolate stash his mum has in the pantry when we were 10.

The same eyes that glistened with unshed tears when I collapsed in his arms screaming for my auntie.

_Fuck._

He averted his gaze and ignored me, talking to Garrett instead.

For the next hour I worked solidly with Garrett while Edward stayed under the car, re-wiring the accelerator.

Garrett talked the whole time and I found myself loosening up and laughing at his stories.

'Mason will show you how to fix the fuel pump and then you guys can hammer out this right side where the guy crashed into a pollard.' He told me after we'd finished replacing the battery.

'What didn't this guy do to the car.' I grumbled.

I heard Edward laugh for about two seconds before it stopped abruptly.

I lay down on the pulley and scooted my way back to where Edward was lying.

I took in a shaky breath as my eyes locked with his.

His cheeks were tinged with pink from the heat and his thick black lashes brushed his cheeks as he blinked at me.

He was gorgeous.

He was Edward.

An ache spread from under my ribs.

The urge to bury my head into his chest and grip him tightly rushed through me.

He was all I had left from my life before.

'Edward.' I breathed.

His eyes flashed with several emotions all at once and then he turned his head abruptly staring up at the car.

'Watch.' He commanded in a rough tone.

'Can we talk?' I asked him, reaching to touch his hand as he pulled the wiring down.

Electricity sparked through where I was touching him and he turned to look at me sharply.

'No.' He stated firmly, glaring at me.

'But I-'

'I have nothing to say to you. You figured it out…go you. It only took you fucking months. What you want me to clap you on the back and say congratulations? We're not _friends_, I don't give a fuck about you. So can we just get on with the fucking job?'

I gaped at him as a sharp stinging sensation occurred behind my eyes.

He stared at me angrily for a moment before jerking away, continuing working on the car.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to focus on what he was doing.

**X**

'I'm so fucking tired.' I complained as I fell facedown on Jasper's bed sighing heavily.

Edward hadn't said a single word to me for the rest of the shift.

Not a single fucking word.

I couldn't even complain to Garrett because the jackass worked so slowly and meticulously with the wiring that I followed it perfectly and managed to answer Garrett's questions easily when he quizzed me on the process.

_What did you expect Bella? _

Another sigh escaped my mouth, catching in my throat as warm fingers trailed gently down the back of my arm and then drifted across my lower back where my T-shirt had ridden up.

_Mmm._

Goosebumps rose across my skin with a pleasant tingling sensation and I hummed.

The fingers drifted lower, gently passing over the swell of my ass and I smiled into the duvet.

I felt Jasper straddle my legs from behind, his thumbs rubbing circles into my lower back.

'Mmm that feels so good.' I moaned appreciatively, sinking further into the bed.

Heat spread through my abdomen, building between my thighs.

'Did you have a good shift?' Jasper asked softly, moving his thumbs further up my spine, pushing my T-shirt higher.

'Not really.' I brought my arms up under my head and rested my chin on top of them, my eyes closing at the sensation of Jasper's large hands on my skin.

His mouth brushed my ear and I shivered, my toes clenching.

'Hmm want to talk about it?' His southern drawl in my ear made the muscles in my lower stomach coil tightly.

I shivered as I felt his nose trace a line from my ear to my throat.

He kissed my neck, his lips soft against my skin.

Jasper's hands drifted higher up my bare back, every stroke of his fingers on my skin causing tendrils of heat to spread down my spine, settling between my legs.

'N-no.' I stuttered, gasping as he nipped at my lobe and then sucked it into his mouth.

Mmm fuck.

Jasper kissed my neck teasingly, his lips warm as they brushed against my throat.

I moaned as his hands drifted to the sides of my back under my T-shirt, his fingers barely brushing the sides of my breasts.

My lower stomach tightened, an ache rising in the pit of my stomach.

We hadn't had a chance to have sex since I dropped the bombshell that I'd slept with someone else.

'Is there anything I can do to make you feel better baby?' He asked teasingly. His body shifted and I moaned as I felt him, thick and hard, pressing against my ass.

I arched my back to rub against him and he groaned softly, his fingers digging into my sides.

'I can think of a few things.' I said huskily.

Jasper laughed in a deep husky tone that made my panties instantly damp.

I could feel the vibrations of his laugh through my body and the sensation of his hard cock against my ass was driving me crazy.

'Oh yeah?' Jasper cooed in my ear, his voice rough.

'Jasper.' I panted.

He started placing hot, open mouthed kisses down the back of my neck, 'What kind of things darlin'?'

'Fuck.' I gasped.

I felt him smile against my skin. 'We can fuck baby. Is that what you want? You want me to _fuck_ you?'

He rubbed himself against me and I arched my back, my clit throbbing.

'Mmm yes.' I moaned.

Jasper's large hands gripped my ass in my leggings.

'I love these.' He practically purred.

'Take them off.' I whined impatiently.

'If you insist.' Jasper teased, nipping at my neck.

I felt the warmth of his body leave mine as he moved himself backwards.

'Fuck.' I yelped as I felt the sharp sting of his teeth in my ass.

He chuckled and I turned my head to glance at him accusingly.

There was a playful smirk at his mouth but his eyes were dark and his cheeks slightly flushed.

I bit my lip and Jasper lifted an eyebrow up as his thumbs hooked into the waistband of my leggings and pulled them down, revealing my bright blue thong.

His eyes darkened further as he ran a hand over the swell of my ass.

'I love your ass.' He said huskily, squeezing it gently.

I watched enraptured as his tongue flicked out to wet his bottom lip.

My hips shifted impatiently and Jasper hummed, snapping the elastic of my thong against my skin.

'Fuck.' I muttered, breathing heavily.

I closed my eyes gasping as I felt his tongue flick across my left cheek.

His warm hands drifted across the curve of my ass, his fingers brushing tantilisingly close to my aching centre.

I was just about to tell him to fucking touch me already when I felt his fingers slipping under my thong.

With a tug he pulled it down my thighs, gripping my leggings on the way down and removing both articles of clothing, leaving me naked from the waist down.

I shivered as his large hands spread my legs, tracing up the back of my thighs.

'So fuckin' sexy.' Jasper groaned.

I tried to turn around but his hands gripped my hips firmly.

'Nuh-uh. You stay right there.' He said huskily.

'Fuck.' I shivered.

There was something so naughty about being on my stomach with his hands touching me like this.

I whimpered as his fingers brushed the tops of my thighs and then skirted the place I wanted them most.

'_Jasper_.' I panted. 'Please.'

He groaned softly. 'Please what baby?'

His fingers teased me again and I shuddered.

'Touch me.'

My whole body jolted as I felt his fingers brush across my bikini line and then run down my slit.

Jasper groaned, low in his throat. 'Mm you're so fuckin' wet.'

I cried out as he slid a finger inside of me, my hips pressing back against him, desperate for more.

'Please Jas, don't tease, I need you.' I panted, trying to turn over again.

He let me this time and I shivered as I looked up at him, his eyes hooded with desire.

I leant up on my forearms just as he bent down and our mouth clashed together fiercely.

Oh fuck.

Jasper groaned, one hand sliding into my hair, the other slipping under my back and pressing me up into him.

My hands slid up his back under his T-shirt, his hot skin burning my palms.

That shirt has to go now.

I started tugging it up over his head and he knelt back between my legs, grabbing the hem and pulling it the rest of the way off.

I bit my lip as I stared at his tight, muscled body.

Every single part of him was ripped. He'd been training so hard and eating well for the past few weeks and it fucking showed.

'Jesus.' I said throatily.

Jasper licked his lips as he looked down at me. 'I prefer Jasper.'

I giggled at him and he winked at me.

I placed a palm on his abs, shivering as I felt his hot skin. His stomach tensed under my fingertips.

Jasper groaned as my hand slid lower, palming the impressive bulge in his shorts.

He was so hard.

His blue eyes burned into mine so full of lust it made my heart hammer in my chest.

'Come. Here.' Jasper ordered, his voice thick with lust.

I sat up and he practically ripped my T-shirt off, leaving me in my black sports bra.

His hand knitted into my hair as he tugged me close and our lips met passionately, tongues sliding against each other.

He groaned into my mouth as I clambered on top of him, his hands moving behind him to rest on the bed as we fell backwards slightly.

I grabbed the back of his head with my hand, sucking his lower lip into my mouth and moaning as he bucked his hips up, pressing his erection right against my throbbing core.

He broke the kiss and I tilted my head back breathing heavily as his mouth fell on my neck, placing hot, open mouthed kisses that made me ache with desire.

I whimpered as his mouth descended to my breasts, gasping as his teeth tugged at my bra cup.

He shifted our weight, taking one hand from behind him to slide up my front and unclip the front clasp, revealing my breasts.

They felt heavy with arousal, my nipples tight buds.

'Mm.' Jasper growled softly, 'Look how fuckin' sexy you are baby.'

I groaned as his lips captured one of aching nipples, sucking it into his warm, wet mouth.

'Fuck, Jasper.' I gasped, writhing my hips.

I shuddered as his warm hand cupped my other breast, his thumb and index finger tugging at the turgid peak as he swirled his tongue over the other.

My eyes fluttered as pleasure ricocheted through me.

I circled my hips over him and was rewarded by a groan deep that made my lower stomach clench.

The vibrations made my skin tingle from where his mouth was wrapped around my nipple.

He released my peak with a pop and then moved to the other one, his hand deftly switching to massage the other peak.

'Fuck, _Jasper_, you're killing me.' I whined.

He started kissing up my chest again and I moaned into his mouth as he pressed his lips against mine, his tongue swirling in my mouth.

I rocked my hips over his, my body shuddering and felt Jasper smirk against my lips.

His palm slid down my stomach and he shifted me back onto his thighs a little as his fingers pushed inside me, his thumb circling my clit.

'Ugh, fuck.' I gasped, tearing my mouth from his as my hand went to grab his thickly muscled shoulder.

Jasper groaned softly, his fingers curling inside of me. 'So fucking tight and wet. You like it when I fuck you with my fingers darlin'?'

'Jesus Jas-per.' I whimpered. 'So good.'

'Mm that's it beautiful girl, I want you to cum for me. Fuck you look so sexy right now, I want you on my cock.'

My eyes rolled back in my head. 'God please, I want you inside of me. I want you to fuck me.'

'Mmm.' Jasper groaned. '_Fuck_. I can feel you baby, you gonna cum?'

'Kiss me.' I gasped, 'Please, so close.'

I was practically riding his fingers, my head thrown back in ecstasy.

I shuddered as Jasper leant forwards and captured my lips. It was a slow, passionate kiss, his tongue running along the length of mine and making my whole body tingle with pleasure.

He tasted so good, I couldn't get enough of him.

I was right on the brink, my whole body coiled up, ready to tip over the edge.

Jasper groaned into my mouth as I clenched down on his fingers.

He pulled back and looked at me, his blue eyes burning with desire.

'Cum for me. Right fuckin' now.'

His fingers curled inside of me and I cried out, my whole body shuddering as my pleasure peaked.

'Fuck.'

I was vaguely aware of Jasper moaning as I spasmed in his arms, my nails digging in to his shoulder.

Jasper's lips met mine in a burning kiss as I started to come down again and I shuddered as his fingers slid out of me.

He pulled back, licking his lower lip before taking his fingers into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks as he tasted me.

'Jasper.' I whimpered.

'You taste so good darlin'.' He said throatily, his eyes hooded.

I attacked him, pushing him back to the bed as I kissed him fiercely.

He groaned into my mouth, grabbing the back of my head with his large head as he captured my bottom lip between his teeth.

I pulled back and started kissing down his neck, my tongue running across his skin.

I smiled as I felt him shudder and he made a noise in the back of his throat when I bit his nipple gently.

Jasper arched up off the bed, his eyes stormy as my hands ran down his stomach, tracing the idents of his abs.

I sat up, straddling his thighs and looking down at him. His large warm hands gripped my hips, his eyes devouring my naked body.

He looked so fucking good.

I shivered.

'Bella.' He said throatily.

My heart started hammering in my chest as our eyes locked and something in my chest lurched.

I broke the eye contact, my lips kissing across the top of his stomach as my hands drifted lower, tracing the V in his hips.

He groaned, his hands releasing my hips, one tangling in my hair as I undid his zipper.

He was so fucking hard.

I traced my tongue across his abs, shivering at the low groan he made.

He arched his hips up off the bed as I licked lower, nipping at his hip bone.

'Fuck, don't tease.' He pleaded, his voice husky with need.

I peeked up at him from under my eyelashes and shivered at the look in his eyes.

I tugged his jeans down, along with his black boxers, biting my lip as his cock sprung up, brushing against my breasts.

'Jasper.' I moaned softly, gripping him in my hand.

His skin was so hot and he was deliciously thick and heavy in my palm.

He made a noise in the back of his throat as I lowered my mouth to him, flicking my tongue across the tip to capture the salty bead of moisture that rested there.

I looked at him from under my eyelashes as I slowly took him into my mouth.

'Fuck baby, mmm.' Jasper groaned, his hips bucking up.

I took him deeper, hollowing my cheeks and swirling my tongue across the head as I got to the top.

'Holy fuck.' Jasper snarled. 'God damn baby you look so fucking good with my cock in your mouth. Ugh feels so good.' The low timbre of his voice made me shiver and I shifted my hips, rubbing myself against his thigh as fresh arousal pooled between my legs.

Jasper groaned, his thigh pushing up into me and making me whimper. 'Fuck. You're so fuckin' wet, god I want to be inside of you baby. I need to fuck you.'

His hand tightened in my hair as I took him so deep I almost gagged.

'Mm.' He growled. 'Fuck. Get up here right fuckin' now.'

I released him from my mouth with a pop and he sat up suddenly, grabbing my waist and flipping our bodies, leaving me panting underneath him.

His mouth met mine, hot and wet and I wrapped my thighs around his torso, shuddering at the feel of him, smooth and hard, pressed against my stomach.

His whole body was pressed against mine, I could feel the ridge of every muscle, burning into my skin.

The ache between my legs was almost painful.

'Jasper.' I moaned as he nipped my neck. '_Please_.'

I felt him grin against my skin and then he was moving off me his hands scrabbling in the drawer by his bed.

I giggled softly as he appeared above me again, holding a foil packet between his teeth.

He waggled his eyebrows and I leaned up, biting the aluminium and taking it from his mouth.

He laughed, his eyes lighting up as his lips curved at one side.

God he was so beautiful.

I felt that strange lurching sensation in my gut again and I swallowed, my hands reaching up to grab the foil from my mouth.

Jasper pulled back from me, kneeling between my legs and held out his hand.

'Ma'am.' He teased.

I handed it to him, laughing as he made a show about ripping it open, winking at me.

'Jasper.' I whined, shifting my hips impatiently. 'Stop messing around.'

His eyes darkened, his lips curving up in a wicked smile. 'Believe me darlin', I'm going to fuck you six ways to Sunday.'

I shivered as he slid the latex on himself, his fist rising up and down his cock slowly.

Mmmm.

His fingers pushed inside me, twisting in a way that made my back arch up off the bed.

'Mm. You're so wet beautiful. Do you want my cock?' He asked huskily.

'Yes.' I whimpered.

He spread my thighs, moving between them so our lower bodies aligned.

I shuddered as I felt his swollen head, pressing against my soaking centre.

He hissed, placing his hands either side of my head.

I grabbed his shoulders, one leg hooking around his slim hips.

His bent his head and started kissing up my neck and my throat.

'You're so beautiful.' He murmured softly, 'So fucking gorgeous.'

He lifted his head and stared into my eyes.

My heart started slamming against my ribcage and I grabbed his jaw gently, smoothing my thumb over his cheek.

His eyes were as bottomless as the ocean and looked startingly blue against his tanned skin and thick black lashes.

We stared at each other for a moment, breathing heavily.

I leant up and kissed him.

The minute our lips touched I felt a fire spreading from the pit of my belly, all the way to my toes.

A renewed desire flooded my limbs and suddenly I was kissing him like he was air and I couldn't breathe.

Jasper responded just as fiercely, one of his hands cupping my cheeks as our mouths moved together.

He shifted his hips forward slightly and my whole body shuddered as the head of him pushed inside me.

Jasper broke the kiss, his head dropping to my shoulder as he groaned.

'Oh god, baby.' He panted.

I pressed him closer with the leg that was around his hip and we both moaned as he pushed deeper, every nerve in my body tingling at the feel of him spreading me wide.

'Jasper.' I moaned, arching my back as he paused, fully inside of me, his hips pressed against mine.

'Jesus fucking Christ.' Jasper growled. 'Ugh Bella, you feel so fuckin' good baby.'

Our lips met in a violent clash of teeth and tongues as he drew his hips back and then pushed inside of me again.

'Ugh, fuck.' I gasped, tearing my mouth from his and wrapping my hands around his strong back, shuddering at the feel of his muscles rippling as he fucked me.

So fucking good.

One of his hands slid down my side, gripping my other thigh and pulling it around his waist. We both groaned at the change in angle and I crossed my ankles, rocking my hips against his to meet his thrusts.

Jasper's hand left my leg and came to rest on the other side of my head as he pushed inside me with slow deep strokes.

'God.' I whimpered, my back arching off the bed. 'So. Good.'

He swivelled his hips and my nails sunk into his skin. I could feel myself clenching down on him and he groaned softly.

'Mm right there darlin'?'

My eyes rolled back in my head as he did it again. 'Fuck yes.'

'God baby you're so damn wet.' Jasper hissed.

I unhooked my ankles, my legs falling apart so I could drive my hips up better, meeting him thrust for thrust.

He made a noise in the back of his throat, straightening his arms out either side of my head and lifting his body from me, as he rocked into me.

I shivered, 'Oh _fuck_.'

That angle was so good.

So, fucking good.

His pelvis was rubbing right against my throbbing clit and every thrust was sending me closer and closer to falling over the edge.

'Mmm.' Jasper growled as my body spasmed around his cock. 'You gonna cum for me darlin'?'

I babbled something unintelligible in response.

My mouth was too busy hanging open in pleasure to form words.

Jasper dropped to his forearms, his lips capturing mine in a slow, deep kiss.

I whimpered into his mouth, my nails digging into his back.

He kissed across my jaw to my ear and bit the lobe softly.

'Mm that's it baby.' He cooed. 'I want to feel you cum all over my cock.'

I threw my head back, a series of loud moans tearing from my throat as I saw stars, my vision going blurry as my whole body shook.

'Ugh, fuck.' Jasper growled, slamming into me harder.

I stared up at him, my body still shaking from the after affects of my orgasm.

He looked so fucking hot like this, his mouth slightly open in pleasure, eyes hooded, cheeks pink from exertion.

Oh god.

I felt a wave of intense lust rock through me, making my body shiver.

'God you feel so good inside me baby.' I panted.

Jasper groaned low in his throat.

'Ugh, fuck.'

I kissed him, moaning into his mouth as he started circling his hips. I pulled back, my whole body arching as another spasm rocked through me.

The thick drag of him inside of me was driving me crazy, every thrust sending new jolts of pleasure down my spine.

'Fuck.' I murmured throatily, 'I want you to cum inside me.'

'Shit.' Jasper hissed, his eyes dark as he gazed down at me.

'Please.' I whimpered.

'I want you to cum again first.' He groaned, his head tilting back slightly in pleasure.

'Fuck okay, let me go on top.' I gasped.

He slid out of me, holding my hips as he rolled onto his back, lifting me at the same time.

I straddled him, biting my lip as I placed a hand on his chest and slowly sank down onto him.

His eyes rolled back into his head and I moaned.

'Oh god, _Jasper_.' I panted, rocking my hips over him.

His fingers dug into my hips tighter as his mouth fell open, his eyes drifting down my body to where my tits bounced.

'Jesus, you look so good like this baby.' He groaned.

I started slamming my hips down harder and he hissed, 'That's it baby, ride my fuckin' cock.'

'Fuck.' I moaned, leaning forward to place my hands on the wall, using it to help me balance as I rode him.

I cried out as his warm fingers found my clit, rubbing in quick, small circles that made my whole body shudder in pleasure.

'Jesus I'm so close.' He growled, his other hand squeezing my hip hard as he slammed me down onto him, his lower body driving up hard to meet my thrusts.

'Jasper!' I practically yelled, my head falling back.

My moans were ridiculously loud, bordering on screams, I was so close.

Thank god no one was home…

I slammed myself down on him, placing my hands either side of his head to get more traction.

'Oh _fuck._' Jasper groaned. 'Just like that baby, _fuck_.'

'I'm gonna fucking cum.' I screamed as a wave of pleasure started building in my abdomen.

'Shit, I can feel it.' Jasper roared, 'God Bella, _fuck_.'

My back arched as the pleasure kept building, reaching a crescendo that made me scream so loud my throat burned.

I could feel Jasper holding my hips tightly against him through his own release.

When my body stopped shaking, I collapsed to Jasper's chest, breathing heavily, my heart thundering in my ears.

We were both breathing heavily and I could feel the rapid beat of his heart against my chest.

I felt his arms wrap around my back and the vibrations of a chuckle in his chest.

'Fuck.' He said softly.

I lifted my head to gaze at him and he grabbed my jaw, placing a sweet kiss on my mouth.

I moaned softly, my body feeling like jelly.

He pulled back and smiled softly at me, his eyes glittering.

'God I'm so tired.' I murmured, dropping my head into his neck and snuggling there.

His hands gently ran up my back as he hummed, placing a kiss on my head.

I closed my eyes, breathing him in.

Being in his arms like this felt so good.

Jasper started talking about going to get some food, but his voice sounded really far away.

'Imma stay here.' I yawned.

I didn't hear what he said next.

I was fast asleep.

**X**

The next few days passed in a blur. I spent most of my time at Jasper's, his parents were on some ski retreat, apparently something they do this time every year.

Fucking rich people.

Part of me felt guilty for staying away from home, I knew leaving Renee was risky, it's just…god I was so over her mood swings.

She was constantly up and down and it was exhausting.

Despite staying at his house, I saw Jasper less and less as his swim practice doubled.

He was training for over 5 hours a day and I spent a lot of the time at his house by myself, curled up on his bed and doing homework or lying by his pool after school.

Everyone joined us for the weekend, and we all, with the exception of Jasper who only had a few beers, got fucking trashed on both Friday and Saturday.

Paul had thankfully not brought a girl with him, but even though we interacted normally as a group, he was even more distant than he had been before and whenever I tried to talk to him on my own he'd just make an excuse and leave.

He was fucking infuriating.

School was even worse because he barely spoke to me in class and he was absent from our lunch table for the most part, except when he'd swagger up in the last 5 minutes, his eyes slightly dilated and hair ruffled from some girl's hands.

I'd taken to pretending to have headaches just so I could glare into my hands at the fucking sight of him.

Underneath all the irritation I just missed him.

I was hurt by his behaviour and confused. He was so hot and cold with me. One-minute acting like he cared about me and our friendship, the next ignoring me like I was nothing.

It was giving me whiplash.

'Big party on Saturday at Jake's.' Emmett said excitedly.

We were sitting outside on the grass, soaking up the sunshine. I had sacrificed using the break to sneak in a cigarette, choosing to spend the 20 minutes with Jasper instead.

He was grateful from the way he kissed me when he walked over and saw me sitting on my blue hoodie.

Rose shot Emmett a worried glance, probably wondering if his mom would be well enough to stay at home by herself.

'Em, are you sure you can…' She asked him softly.

His face flashed with pain for a brief second, the mask of optimism cracking momentarily, then it was back, a large smile back on his face.

My heart ached for him. He wasn't even faking the smile, that was just Emmett, trying so hard to stay positive and happy, even though he had every reason not to be.

'Yeah, it'll be fun.' He told her, kissing her cheek sweetly.

She nodded and I smiled at her encouragingly.

'I'm in, will be nice to have a brief moment of celebration before it's back to the grind.' Jasper said, his thumb stroking the inside of my wrist.

I was sitting in between his legs, resting my back against his chest.

He had his competition on Friday, which was two days away. He was giving himself the Saturday till the Monday off before he started preparing for the next one, which was 5 days later.

I shrugged. I didn't care either way.

'Do you reckon Paul is going?' Embry asked, yawning and setting us all off.

Jasper's fingers tickled my sides as I stretched and I giggled, snatching his hand off my ribs.

'Probably.' Jasper drawled, taking my hand and kissing it softly.

I smiled, resting a hand on his thigh.

'He won't miss out the chance to hook up with fresh meat. He's already worked his way through everyone decent here.' Jasper continued, laughing softly.

I grimaced, feeling my stomach twist.

_Ugh. On second thought I don't want to go at all._

I looked up and Rose was looking at me with an intrigued expression.

I frowned at her and she glanced away, picking at some grass.

'Good because I'm sick of being the fifth wheel.' Embry groaned. 'Bella and Jasper are like fucking rabbits and you two are so soppy it makes me feel sick.' He winked to soften his words and Emmett laughed.

'I think you mean _fucking_ like rabbits.' Jasper said conspiratorially.

I elbowed him, fighting a smile as the others grimaced.

'Did you see him mauling Kate against her locker earlier.' Embry continued, rolling his eyes. 'I'm surprised he hasn't had a detention. He basically had his hand up her skirt.'

The others laughed and I forced a smile on my face, not finding it funny in the slightest.

Emmett started launching into a recount of when he caught Paul last week coming out of the girls toilets with Hannah about 5 seconds before a teacher walked past and I stood up, kissing Jasper and grabbing my stuff. He looked up at me curiously and I smiled at him, 'Bell's about to go and I need to pee before class.' I explained.

_Also, I don't want to hear about Paul fucking anyone because it makes me feel like I can't breathe._ I added silently.

_It's probably because he's ignoring me but paying attention to other people_, I told myself.

I got to class a few minutes early and threw my books on the table in front of me, glancing at Paul's empty desk on my left. He'd probably arrive soon with lipstick on his neck, his hair all scruffy from fucking some slut in the bathroom.

I gripped my pen tightly at the thought.

I was so fucking mad at him I could stab this pen right into his goddamn eye.

What is it with the men in my life and fucking ignoring me?

Edward, Paul, Charlie…

Paul strolled up, sitting down heavily, his legs falling open as he drummed his fingers on his desk.

That was a fucking annoying noise.

I scowled at him. There was a shadow across his neck, and I narrowed my eyes, confused.

_Is that a fucking hickie?_

My pen snapped, ink splattering everywhere.

'Fuck.' I groaned.

Paul turned to me in shock, his brown eyes widening as he looked at the ink covering my hand and my once plain white T-shirt.

He made a choked noise, forcing his mouth into a line and I glared at him.

'So, you can't talk to me, but you can laugh at me. Fucking brilliant.' I snapped.

Paul's shoulder's bobbed and then he burst into laughter, throwing his head back.

I watched him, a large smile forming on my face automatically.

He hadn't laughed like that for ages, not with me anyway.

I felt a deep pang in my chest and my smile fell.

There was a sting behind my eyes and a lump in my throat.

_Oh no you don't Bellla._

I stood up abruptly, gathering my stuff.

Paul sat up straight in his seat looking at me worriedly but I ignored him.

'Miss Swan?'

I rolled my eyes, gesturing to the ink that was covering me and Mr. Lovett sighed. 'Right then, off you go.'

I stormed out the classroom, not glancing back.

**X**

'You're here early.' Garett raised an eyebrow at me.

'Only by 5 hours.' I said innocently.

I'd gone straight from the classroom to my car and driven here.

Thankfully I had a spare work T-shirt and I'd been wearing shorts and converse anyway.

Garrett frowned, his brown eyes full of concern as he studied me.

'You okay kid?'

I nodded.

He sighed, gesturing to the car in the bay with his head.

'Alright, Mace was supposed to do this, but you can if you want, he's just in the office filling in an order for new tires, you know this guy rinses the gearbox every single goddamn time he…'

I got under the car and got to work, throwing myself into the difficult process of wiring the new piece in.

I was so lost in what I was doing I jumped a mile when I turned to my left and saw Edward under the car too, his emerald eyes fixed on me.

'Fuck.' I muttered, rubbing my head where I'd hit the bottom of the car. 'What do you want Edward?' I asked tiredly.

He frowned at me. 'Just wanted to check you knew what you were doing.'

His words weren't said harshly but they still stung, making me feel inadequate.

'I'm not a fucking idiot, I know what I'm doing.' I snapped, ashamed at the prickling sensation that started in my eyes.

Edward looked startled, his green eyes wide as they surveyed me. 'I know.'

'Whatever. I'm fine so you can go.' I said sharply, turning away from him and carrying on.

He didn't move.

'Why aren't you in school?' He said after a moment.

'Why aren't you?' I snapped, turning to face him again.

He studied me, his eyes searching mine. 'I dropped out.'

_What?_

I couldn't hide the surprise that surely showed on my face.

_How the fuck had Ella let him get away with that?_

The tip of my tongue burned with questions but I couldn't be bothered to deal with his biting responses so I ignored him, turning back to the roof of the car while my hands deftly screwed in the box.

I turned to my side to reach for the smaller screwdriver and was surprised to see it right in front of me, in Edward's hand.

I stared at it, not taking it from him.

He frowned at me, 'I knew you needed it next.'

I huffed irritated. 'Edward, I don't need your help. Just fuck off. You've made it perfectly clear you don't want anything to do with me so just fucking go. I can handle this myself.'

He flinched, his jaw twitching as his eyes darkened to an angry jade.

'What is your fucking problem today?' He snapped.

'You.' I replied harshly, snatching the screwdriver from him. 'So, fuck off.'

'You are _unbelievable_.' He seethed.

'What? I'm not allowed to be an asshole to you?' I glared at him. 'I'm just following your fucking example. What's with the sudden interest anyway, I've been trying to talk to you for _days_.'

'We're talking now aren't we?' Edward muttered angrily.

I squeezed my eyes shut. 'No Edward. Fucking forget it, just leave me alone.'

I heard him huff loudly. 'Fine. We can talk. After work. Will you stop being a raging bitch now?'

My eyes sprung open, an angry retort on my tongue, but it faded when I saw his eyes, wide and curious as they stared at me.

'You mean it?'

He rolled his eyes. 'Yeah. If it'll make you calm down.'

'Okay.' I said softly. He looked away sharply.

**X**

Garett let us leave at 5pm with a grin, warning me not to skip school again.

I babbled about having a free period and Garett rolled his eyes at me and told me not to lie to him or he'd make me hammer out every single bent piece of metal that came into the garage.

I smiled sheepishly and he squeezed my shoulder and told me to get lost.

On the way out, Edward dropped into the office.

I lingered outside awkwardly, leaning against the wall.

I could hear Carlisle talking in hushed tones and moved closer, curious.

'You know you can come back, both of you.'

'No sir, thank you, but that's alright.' Edward replied politely.

'Mason please, just think about, for Alice's sake if not yours.'

'Alice is staying at her friend's house, she's okay.'

'And what about you?'

'I'm…I'm fine, I'm staying at a friend's house too.'

'Are you sure? At least come to dinner on Friday night. We're worried about you.'

'Thank you for everything Mr. Cullen but we're fine. I promise.'

Carlisle protested for a moment but then the phone started ringing.

'I'll see you tomorrow Mason, don't forget Friday!'

Edward grunted a response and then walked out the building, his eyes meeting mine instantly.

For a moment they were wide and open, and I saw a flash of my Edward.

Then it was gone, and he was glaring at me.

'Did you overhear that?'

I nodded stiffly. No point lying.

'Of course you did.' He said under his breath.

'I didn't really, get it.' I told him honestly, raising an eyebrow.

'Good.' He said sharply. 'Come with me.'

He started walking and I followed him, 'Where are we going?'

'Somewhere to talk.' He said, his voice slightly shaky, as though he was nervous.

'Um, like where? Your house?' I said hopefully.

I would love to see Edward's mom. Ella was more of a mom to me than Renee ever was.

'No.' He snapped.

'O-kay.' I said, sighing. 'Edward maybe this is a bad-'

He stopped and spun to look at me.

I gulped and he sighed, running a hand down his face. 'I'm sorry I'm not trying to be a…I said we'd talk. I…I want to talk. I need to understand…look, just come with me okay? There's this place I like to go to clear my head. We can take my bike and I'll drop you back here after.'

'Okay.' I said softly, staring up at him and biting my lip.

Edward's eyes flicked down to it and he swallowed before averting his eyes.

'Okay.' He repeated.

When we got to his bike he lifted up the back and pulled out two helmet's, passing one to me.

I shivered with anticipation.

I'd never actually been on a motorbike.

I grabbed the helmet he gave me and placed it over my head.

Then came the hard part.

The strap.

I sighed exasperatedly and Edward turned from his bike to look at me.

He choked out a laugh, his green eyes glimmering with amusement, a smile playing at his mouth.

'You haven't been on a bike before Sparrow?' He asked, raising an eyebrow.

My heart raced at the use of my nickname.

It never used to have that effect on me when we were kids.

'No.' I said, shrugging.

'A bad girl like you. I'm surprised.' He commented, leaning in to strap the helmet.

I was glad the visor was open, I would have felt weird being completely shut off.

Edward leaned closer, exhaling softly against my mouth as he fixed the helmet on my head and I shivered.

God what was that.

His breath was minty and slightly musky.

It made my stomach clench and my breath catch in my throat.

His fingers brushed my neck and electricity shot through me.

He paused, looking down at his hand and I wondered if he felt it too.

'All done.' He said gruffly, pulling back.

'Thanks.' I said shakily, averting my eyes from him. 'Um, do I get on?'

Edward laughed, 'Just wait for me to get on Bella and then you get on behind me.'

'Kay.' I said, my hands wringing together.

Nervousness and anticipation rushed through me making goosebumps appear on my skin.

I was excited about riding the bike, but suddenly the idea of being alone with Edward seemed kind of intimidating and scary.

He wasn't the person I knew.

His eyes scanned mine for a second before he sighed softly. 'Come on Sparrow, I won't bite you, I promise.' He straddled the bike and gestured with his head. 'Hop on.'

Suddenly I kind of wanted him to bite me, seeing him straddle that thing was…

My knees felt a little weak and I swallowed before stepping up to it and climbing on behind him, my hands resting tentatively at his hips.

Edward scoffed softly, grabbing my wrists and wrapping them tightly around his waist, pulling me so my chest was pressed snugly up against his back.

My heart started hammering in my chest. Wow. I could feel the hard indents of his stomach muscles against my arms and his body was burning through the cotton of his T-shirt.

'You'll fall off otherwise.' He said, his voice suddenly husky.

I inhaled shakily against the back of his neck and Edward stiffened.

'Right.' I replied, fighting the urge to explore the dense muscles I could feel under the thin material of his T-shirt.

I felt his arm tense and then the bike was rumbling to life underneath us.

I gasped at the feel of the metal vibrating between my thighs, tightening my arms around Edward as a tingle went down my spine.

I was suddenly so warm.

Way too warm.

Hot even.

'Fuck.' I said out loud.

'It's amazing isn't it.' Edward said over the purring of the bike, misunderstanding the curse for one of excitement over the bike.

God Bella what are you doing…stop it, you can't be attracted to him. It's _Edward_.

I forced down the part of me that wanted him to fuck me on the bike and tried to focus on breathing steadily.

'Let's go.' I said, my voice sounding extremely breathy.

I felt Edward's muscles contract in his stomach and then we were surging forwards.

I let out an exhilarated laugh, tucking my chin on his shoulder as we zoomed forward.

Edward laughed too, his stomach tightening from the action.

Again, I was hit with surprise at how I hadn't recognised the laugh before.

It was deeper but it was the same.

I sighed softly.

I was an idiot. And I didn't know if he was going to forgive me for not knowing it was him.

To my surprise we came off down the path to the nature reserve.

'No fucking way. You come here?' I exclaimed.

'Yeah.' Edward replied, pulling up into a parking bay. 'You been here?'

'I like it here.' I stated, extricating myself from him and stepping off the bike after he kicked his foot down and it stood by itself.

I shifted as I suddenly became aware that my panties were completely drenched.

Edward noticed, his eyes flicking down my body and a smirk playing at his full lips.

Yep, definitely not the same person.

The knowledge made my chest ache and I stood up straighter.

'So, do you want to talk in the carpark or are we going to actually go in?'

Edward's eyes were a deeper shade of green and strangely guarded as he nodded at me. 'Yeah, come on.'

We walked down the path.

I kept starting to say something and then chickening out and settled for biting my lip.

Edward kept walking and I gaped in surprise as we got to the playground and he sat down on a swing.

'What?' He asked me, raising an eyebrow.

'Nothing.' I swallowed. 'Just…this is my favourite spot too.'

I sat in the swing next to him, kicking back so the swing rocked forwards and backwards.

'I don't really know what to say, now we're here.' I admitted, keeping my eyes on the water in front of us.

We were silent for a moment.

I turned to him, 'How's your mom?'

Edward's face darkened. 'Are you _fucking _kidding me?

'What?' I asked confused.

He glared at me incredulously.

'What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't know why I fucking bothered to come here. Forget it.'

He got up so quickly the chains on the swing made a harsh squeaking sound.

I was on my feet seconds later.

'What the _fuck?' _I said angrily. 'How are you freaking out at me like this for asking one fucking question. I don't get you at all! And I don't get why you're so angry at _me_. I should be angry at _you_. You never bothered to contact me, this whole time. You told me we were done and my whole world came crashing down and you didn't _care_.' I'm practically screaming and Edward's face is full of fury when he turns back towards me.

'You're mad at _me_? _Your_ world came crashing down? What about fucking my world Bella? You self-absorbed _bitch_.'

'My dad was fucking Tanya!' I shouted. 'My fucking friend.'

'So. Fucking. What.' He growled, 'That gives you the right to fucking abandon me when I needed you the most?'

'You were the one who said you didn't want to friends with me anymore, not me.' I shouted. 'Even then, I still told Renee to give your mum my new number.'

Edward made a choking sound, 'Yeah, well considering she's fucking dead I don't think that worked out so well.'

'W-what?' I said gasping.

My vision blurred, hot tears pouring down my face.

Edward scowled at me, his eyes full of hate, 'Don't act fucking dumb. I know you knew.' He threw up his hands, glaring at me, 'I can't _believe_ I was stupid enough to fucking think you'd apologise. I thought you wanted to talk to say fucking _sorry_. Not to fucking _lie._'

'Edward, what happened?' I cried, grabbing his arm tightly. 'I didn't know, I swear.'

My chest felt like it was being constricted, like I couldn't breathe.

'I don't believe you.' He roared, 'Renee knew, Charlie knew. She sent some stupid fucking 'thoughts with you' card and he was at her _fucking _funeral.'

I felt like I'd been punched in the chest.

'What?' I gasped for air. 'She knew?'

Edward's eyes met mine, filled with tears. 'I lost _everything_. And you _weren't fucking there_.' He yelled. 'Don't fucking stand in front of me and cry about your cunt of a father sleeping with that slut and pretend your world came crashing down. Try having your father _murder _your mom. How's that for fucking betrayal. You don't know a fucking thing about loss.'

'I'm so sorry.' I said crying hysterically. 'Edward, I didn't know. I didn't know, please.'

I reached out for him but he flinched away, staring at me with so much hate my knees crumbled underneath me.

'I'm fucking done with you, I mean it. I'm going to ask Garrett if I can move to Susan's service. I can't be around someone like you. Fucking bitch.'

He stormed off without looking back and I fell to the floor, unable to see I was crying so hard.

**X**

There was a pain in my chest so deep that I felt like my rib cage had been ripped out of me.

I took a series of a shuddering breaths but I couldn't stop crying.

All I could see was the hate in Edward's eyes.

He should hate me.

His fucking mom died.

And I didn't even…

I started crying harder.

Ella…

I thought about her warm green eyes, her sweet smile.

And now she was gone.

And Edward was all alone.

I buried my face into my hands, crying hysterically.

When?

How did this happen?

She was murdered? By his dad?

I never even met him. He was just the absent dad.

Was he in prison now?

How did I not know any of this?

Edward's behaviour made perfect sense now. It was one thing when I didn't recognise him, he was pissed at me for that, but that was it.

When I realised who he was, he must have been waiting for me to say something and I fucking didn't.

But it was because _I didn't fucking know_.

I felt like there was a band across my chest.

I couldn't breathe.

Renee. She fucking lied to me. How could she not tell me?

The betrayal made my heart hurt.

What else had she lied to me about…

I can't go back to that fucking flat. I don't want to see her. I don't want to fucking know her.

_Fuck. I can't do this. I can't feel this. It hurts too much._

My phone was in my hand, calling Aaron before I even realised it.

'B!' He drawled.

'Come meet me at the Nature Reserve by the swings.' I said, my voice husky from crying. 'Bring your strongest shit and a bottle of Jack.'

'B are you-

'Just fucking bring it Aaron.' I snapped, aware that he could probably hear me crying.

There was a pause. 'Okay doll. Be there in 10.'

I sat back down on the swing, my head in my hands.

I needed to make this go away.

I couldn't _feel _this.

I kept replaying the conversation, feeling the ache in my chest grow until I couldn't feel anything else.

'B.' I heard.

I looked up to see Aaron standing in front of me, a pair of raybans sitting on top of his golden dreadlocks.

His grey eyes surveyed me worriedly.

'Are you o-

'What have you got?' I interrupted him, tears still running down my face.

'What kinda thing you want doll?' He replied, placing his hands in his pockets.

'Something to make it all go away for a while.' I said, wiping my eyes.

He shrugged, 'I've got some good shit, but it'll cost you.'

'I don't have anything on me, but you know I'm good for it.' I pleaded.

He sighed, 'Bella.'

'Please Aaron.' I choked.

'Fuck. Okay.' He said, reaching in his coat and pulling out a baggie. 'This is the strongest shit I do. Don't fucking take more than one.'

'What is it?' I asked him, taking the bag gratefully.

'It's a special mix I make. Lucy, dash of angel dust and X. Don't take it till your inside it'll seriously fuck you up for a day or two.'

He grinned at me, 'I call it mindfuck.'

'Good.' I said, nodding. 'Thank you.' I was crying again, and Aaron grimaced.

'God damn B I've never seen you like this. What the fuck happened?'

'Don't act like you care A.' I replied giving him a watery smile. 'Where's the Jack?'

He pulled it out of his rucksack and placed it on the swing next to me.

He studied me, 'Don't fucking drink too much if you're takin' those B. Promise me you'll wait until your home and you won't take more than one.'

'Yeah, of course.' I lied.

He nodded and then walked off.

I waited till he was gone before I opened up the baggie. I balanced two pills in the palm of my hand and then threw them in my mouth washing them down with the whisky.

**X**

When the drug kicked in my vision kind of went haywire and I had to get off the swing and lie on the grass. I lifted my hand up to my eyes and laughed as I watched it blur.

'Wow.' I said out loud as I lifted up my other hand. I had seven fingers. Was that normal? No.

I giggled to myself. Maybe I'm dreaming. They do say that if you have extra fingers it's because you're asleep.

I don't know my own name and it's fucking delicious.

Are my eyes closed? It's dark all of a sudden.

Yes. Whoops.

I opened them.

The sky was on fire. Oh. Pretty.

I felt like it was moving closer to me.

I'm lying down. Or am I standing?

The floor was moving underneath me, and it was starting to make me feel a little uneasy.

My eyes widened as I saw a large animal flying towards me.

Oh my god. I started screaming.

Then I started laughing.

Then I felt nothing.

**X**

I was running from something, really fast. My heart was hammering in my chest. Something was coming for me. Really coming.

I collapsed on the floor, hiding behind a tree.

I was really scared. I needed him here with me. I took out my phone and called him.

'Hey.'

'They're coming for me, please help.' I said worriedly.

'What? Bella what's going on?

'These dark figures, they have knives for teeth and black eyes.' I said as I stared at them. 'I can't stop them.'

'Oh, for fuck's sake. Did you take something? Where the fuck are you?'

I laughed as the sky started falling in front of me. Then I got scared.

'Help.' I said panicking. 'The sky is falling and I'm going to…' Oh. I still had seven fingers. 'Oh, I think I'm dreaming.' I said excitedly. 'Am I asleep?'

'Bella where the fuck are you? I'm getting in my car right now. God I'm fucking…tell me where the fuck you are, _right now_.'

'I'm at the nature reserve.' I said confused. 'Where are you? If this is a dream, I can do _anything_.' I laughed.

'You're not fucking dreaming! Stay where you are, I'm coming.' The voice said. It sounded worried.

'What's wrong?' I said concerned. 'If I'm dreaming then why can't I control what's happening.'

'Bella, please baby, just, stay put okay. Don't move. Just sit down and keep talking to me.'

I placed my hands in the grass. It felt like feathers.

'Okay. You should see feel how good the grass feels, it's like feathers.' I said gleefully.

'Close your eyes baby, just concentrate on the grass for me.'

'I don't want to.' I said angrily. I gasped in shock as the floor fell out from under me. I was falling. I think I screamed. I dropped the phone into the floor. I was hurtling past things, then I was just…floating.

I felt arms wrap around me. How could I feel arms when I was in space?

'Fuck, Bella. Shit. What did you fucking take?' I heard.

I blinked. Paul's face was suddenly in front of me. I reached out to touch it, but it was distorting in front of me. I pulled my arm back sharply.

He was saying something but all I could hear was this high-pitched ringing sound.

Then everything went black.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Lots of revelations in this chapter, I hope you understand Edward's behaviour a bit better now.**

**What's going to happen next?!**

**Next chapter is going to be a different POV for the ONLY time in the story...**

**Who do you think we'll hear from and what will they say? ;)**

**Thank you for all the follows, favourites and reviews! **

**Hope you're safe and well xx**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

_Previously_

_Bella_

'_Close your eyes baby, just concentrate on the grass for me.'_

'_I don't want to.' I said angrily. I gasped in shock as the floor fell out from under me. I was falling. I think I screamed. I dropped the phone into the floor. I was hurtling past things, then I was just…floating. _

_I felt arms wrap around me. How could I feel arms when I was in space? _

'_Fuck, Bella. Shit. What did you fucking take?' I heard. _

_I blinked. Paul's face was suddenly in front of me. I reached out to touch it, but it was distorting in front of me. I pulled my arm back sharply. _

_He was saying something but all I could hear was this high-pitched ringing sound. _

_Then everything went black._

**Paul**

'Wanna hang out later?'

I turned to Kate, slamming my locker shut and fixing her with a smirk.

Her cheeks tinged slightly pink and she smiled coyly, flashing her perfect white teeth.

'I can't.' I said, stroking my hand softly down her bare arm.

Her skin was warm against my fingers, soft and supple.

She shivered, leaning into my body and kissing my neck.

Kate always smelled good, like fuckin' vanilla.

'How come?' She asked me, kissing her way up to my ear, her lips soft against my skin.

It felt nice so I let her, my hand coming down to rest against the small of her back.

She was tiny. Fucking hot too. Big blue eyes and a tight little body.

She stepped closer to me, pressing her tits against my arm and my smirk grew.

I'd only fucked Kate once since she pulled shit with Bella a few weeks ago.

Fucking answering my phone and lying to me about who was calling…Jesus I was pissed.

Especially when I'd realised she'd deleted the fucking call too, it was fucking manipulative.

But when I'd gone over there to yell at her, it was just after Bella had told me she'd fucked some guy in a bar, so instead I'd slammed Kate into the wall and fucked her hard.

I was just so fucking…jealous.

Jealous of the way Bella said she didn't care about Jasper even though her fucking gorgeous eyes were all wide and sad, meaning she fucking did.

Jealous that she fucked someone random guy when she could have come to me. I know she'd have had a better time fucking me than some prick that doesn't know how to make her scream. I know every inch of her body like the back of my hand.

Not that you can call Bella and I together fucking. With Bella it was different.

She was different.

At first I thought it was just because the sex was unbelievable. She's fucking sexy and confident, perfect tits that fit right in the palms of my hands. Tight body but not all hard with muscle like some girls, she's all fucking soft and smooth and her pussy feels like fucking heaven.

But it wasn't just good sex, I could talk to her. She listened, understood. We were like the same fucking person. And then she was in my house, standing in my kitchen fucking cooking me food and I was spilling my guts to her, telling her shit that nobody else knew. I'd watched her fall asleep in my fucking arms and I was too busy staring at her beautiful face to think about how dangerous it was that I was letting her so close to me. Then she was letting me in a little too and the more I saw the more I wanted to take care of her, be there for her the way no one else clearly was.

But she was constantly flirting with Jasper and he was looking at her like she was the only girl in the world. Even I could feel the sexual tension pouring off them and I knew it was only a matter of time before Jasper finally manned up and ditched Lauren for her.

At first that didn't bother me. Jasper wanted to fucking date her, so I wasn't going to stand in the way.

But the closer it got to him breaking up with Lauren the more I felt weird about it.

I liked the dynamic I had with Bella. It was fucking but it was…more.

I slept with her, actually fucking fell asleep with her in my arms, more than once. In my house too. Which was…I didn't do shit like that.

Shit, I didn't fucking do the stuff I did with her, with anyone.

She was just, different.

And that last night I devoured her, knowing it would be the last time I could kiss her, fuck her, cuddle her. She obviously felt it too because we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

She was naked on my kitchen counter and I was sliding inside of her wet heat and she was clenching all over my cock, her fucking beautiful brown eyes dilated with pleasure and staring right at me. God she'd felt so good, so fucking unbelievably good.

I'd wanted to tell her that night. I'd wanted to tell her not to fuck Jasper. But what would have been the fucking point? I didn't know what I fucking wanted. I just wanted to keep being around her. How could I tell her I didn't want her to sleep with him without sounding like a possessive idiot. After all we were just friends that were fucking. So I said nothing.

And that morning when I fucked her in the shower and made her scream my name I told myself that I wouldn't touch her again. That it was done.

And then all day I felt like someone had stabbed me in the fucking ribs and I couldn't figure out why. Every time I'd looked at her I felt this sick feeling in my gut.

I wanted to tell her no when she asked me to fuck her one last time. I knew it would be a mistake. But I couldn't fucking help myself. So I did it, walked into that bathroom. The sight of her had driven me fucking crazy.

I'd slammed her into the wall and then my fingers were inside of her and she was so fucking wet for me, and so fucking desperate for my cock. I felt like I was going to cum in 5 seconds flat. The sharp sting of her nails down my back had made me roar in pleasure and I'd marked her too, sunk my teeth into her shoulder as she came all over my cock.

I'd liked how she looked, marked by my teeth, all freshly fucked, her cheeks flushed and lips all swollen from my mouth. My heart had been slamming into my chest and I'd just wanted to hug her and never let go.

But she didn't want me. She wanted Jasper.

After that, I didn't know how to be around her. All I wanted to do was kiss her, wrap her in my arms because she felt so fucking right there.

And then she was with Jasper and for the first time in our 10 year friendship I couldn't fucking stand him. Watching him touch her made me want to knock him out. But he was happy for the first time in fucking years and she was happy too so what kind of prick would I be if I got in the way.

It's just she fucking missed me, I could tell. And Jesus I missed her. I couldn't stay away, couldn't pretend like I didn't want her.

I didn't even just want to fuck her either.

I'd have been content just lying on my bed with her talking.

That's when I knew I'd fucked up, that I fucking _liked_ her.

Which was un-fucking believable because I was Paul fucking Lahote. I didn't get feelings.

I tried to fuck them away but even when I was balls deep in Irina, I couldn't get Bella Swan out my fucking head.

So, I tried other girls. Some I'd slept with before, some I hadn't.

Didn't make a fucking difference.

They just weren't Bella.

When she'd stayed over and we kissed. Christ. It had taken every part of me not to, slide my hand under her t-shirt, feel her perfect tits, rip of her panties and feel her wet heat, she'd been so responsive too, morning and whimpering into my fucking mouth. If that phone hadn't rung I don't think I'd have been able to stop.

I tried to back off then too, I felt guilty as fuck for messing with Jasper's girl, but I couldn't make it stick. I caved the second I found out she'd fainted at school.

Jasper had his suspicions about my feelings but I kept reassuring him that I didn't like Bella in that way.

Even though I fucking did.

There was no magic moment, I didn't have a fucking epiphany, it was just like one minute I liked her and the next, I _loved_ her.

My best friends fucking girl.

And I was in love with her.

God it was unbelievably fucking stupid and part of me fucking hated her for twisting me up inside like this.

It was fucking shit, this love business.

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I could barely fuck without having to close my eyes and imagine it's her.

And that's not fair to the girls I'm with. They deserve better than me imagining some other girl.

It's not like they're not hot in their own right.

Irina was a fucking wildcat in bed.

Seriously that girl bends in fucking insane ways. And yet…the best thing about her wasn't her fucking tits or the way she could twist her body, it was how Bella reacted to her presence.

When Irina was around her eyes went dark and she got this fucking glorious fiery look in her eyes like she wanted to knock Irina out and then kiss the fuck outta me.

It wasn't just Irina either…she seemed…jealous of all the girls I was with.

Part of me hoped it was because she felt this thing between us too, that she had feelings for me, but that was stupid.

She wanted Jasper, she was basically dating Jasper.

Besides, I didn't date. I didn't know how to be a fucking boyfriend, the thought of that shit freaked me out.

So I just pushed it all down and let it fucking lie. Even though whenever I saw Jasper's hands all over her and the way she fucking melted into him it made me feel like screaming.

Kate leant up towards me and kissed the side of my mouth.

'You sure babe?' She purred.

'What?' I asked her confused, my other hand wrapping around her waist and tugging her into me.

She shivered and I slid my hands lower, cupping her ass.

_Think about the girl in front of you, you dick._

I squeezed her cheek and she whimpered, god she had a nice fucking ass.

Not as nice as Bella's though.

Fuck. Stop.

I grabbed Kate's jaw and kissed her, sliding my tongue into her mouth.

She whimpered, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I tilted my head to kiss her more deeply.

She tasted good, like mint and coffee.

She shivered, her hand sliding down my stomach towards my cock. I should be hard. I could feel her tits pressed against my chest and she was moaning into my mouth as I squeezed her ass.

Part of me was tempted to fuck her. Bella would hate it.

But I couldn't. I was pissed at her for fucking with my relationship with Bella.

Bella always came first with me.

I broke the kiss, pushing Kate back gently and catching her hand with mine, the other resting on her hip.

She pouted at me and let out a breathy sigh.

'Some other time.' I said, laying on the charm.

She unhooked her arms from my neck and sighed.

'You seeing someone else tonight?'

'Someone else?' I questioned innocently, smiling at her.

She rolled her eyes. 'Irina maybe?'

I snorted. 'Never again.'

Kate twists her mouth speculatively. 'Why?'

Because she was rude to Bella.

I leant in and kissed her deeply, running my tongue across her lower lip and smiling when she moaned.

I pulled back and she pouted. 'I gotta go sugar.'

'But can't we…'

'Kate.' I warned.

'Call me later?'

'If you're lucky.' I winked.

She laughed as though I was joking.

I wasn't.

**X**

After I got home, I put on some washing and then lay in front of the tv. The guys from the team wanted to go for pizza tonight but I wasn't sure I was gonna go.

Bella had stormed out in the middle of class earlier and I couldn't stop thinking about the look on her face before she left. Her pen had fucking exploded and she's looked so adorable, her eyes wide and shocked, I couldn't help but laugh.

And then her face had fallen and her big brown eyes filled with hurt and I'd wanted to stab myself for upsetting her.

She didn't come back either, just left and didn't tell anyone where she went. I asked Jasper and he'd been just as clueless as me. She didn't answer either of our calls or texts.

I felt like shit. I knew I was hurting her by keeping my distance.

But I just…couldn't. Being around her on my own…god it was heaven and torture all at once.

I could never tell her how I felt about her. Now that Jasper had feelings for her and she had them back…I wasn't going to get in the way.

That's why I'd told Jasper to go talk to her when she was freaking out. I just wanted her to be happy.

I groaned, leaning back on the sofa with my hands behind my head.

Fuck.

My phone started vibrating in my pocket and I grabbed it, my heart racing when I saw it was Bella.

'Hey.'

'They're coming for me, please help.' She gasped, breathing heavily.

_What the fuck__?_

I stood up instantly, panic filling me 'What? Bella what's going on?

'These dark figures, they have knives for teeth and black eyes...I can't stop them.'

I swore, 'Did you take something? Where the fuck are you?'

_For fucks sake Bella._

I ran into the kitchen and grabbed my keys, my chest pounding.

She started babbling about dreaming and my throat closed up with panic.

I didn't know where she was, what if she did something fucking stupid like run into traffic or jump off a building.

'Bella where the fuck are you? I'm getting in my car right now. God I'm fucking…tell me where the fuck you are, _right now_.'

_Fucking nature reserve. _

I was speeding down the road, putting the phone on loudspeaker and chucking it on the passenger seat.

I kept talking to her, I didn't want her to hang up.

She screamed and I cursed, pushing my car to the limit not caring if I got a fucking ticket.

'I'm almost there baby. Stay on the phone.' I pleaded.

She didn't say anything but I could hear her breathing.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Then I was pulling into a space, throwing the hand break up and pulling my keys out. I didn't even lock the car.

This place was fucking huge where was she?

I was about to start down the path when I saw a shape sitting by a tree down the road.

'Bella.' I yelled.

I got in front of her and she was shaking, her eyes wide, streaks of tears and mascara all down her face.

'Shit baby what did you do?' I groaned. 'What did you take?'

She didn't respond and I grabbed her arms gently. Her eyes flicked to mine and then rolled back in her head.

_Fuck_.

I caught her before she fell and pulled her into my lap, my fingers going to her neck to feel her pulse. It was a little quicker than normal but not concerning and she felt an okay temperature.

I sighed in relief.

Not an overdose. Or at least, she seemed okay for now. I'd have to watch her like a hawk and if she didn't wake up in a few minutes I'd take her to the hospital.

I knew she'd freak if she woke up there so unless she needed to go, I wasn't going to take her.

_I think she just fainted. _

I'd never been so fucking glad in my life for all the hours and hours I'd spent learning from the nurses while my mom was in hospital. Or for the first aid shit I'd done.

I pulled her eyelids up to check the pupils but they weren't blown.

I stroked her streaked face with my thumb, my body sagging in relief.

Thank fuck for that.

I frowned as I studied her.

She'd obviously been crying her fucking eyes out. It wasn't like her to take drugs like this on a school night either.

What the fuck happened?

'Fuck Bella, why?' I sighed.

I grabbed her phone from the floor, chucked it in my pocket and then scooped my arms under her knees, picking her up. Bella's head fell to my shoulder and she stirred, wrapping her arm around my neck.

'Paul.' She murmured, her breath hot against my throat.

'I'm here baby, I've got you.' I soothed, walking towards my car.

A woman frowned at me as I passed her. She was standing by her car, a young girl holding her hand.

'Is she okay? Should I call an ambulance?' She asked worriedly.

'No ma'am.' I told her with a smile. 'My girlfriend just had a bit too much to drink, she's fine.' I reassured her.

'Okay.' She said, frowning. Let her judge Bella for being drunk, it was better than knowing she was high as fuckin' kite.

I put Bella in the passenger seat and felt her pulse again.

It wasn't any faster than earlier and her breaths were even and regular.

She stirred, mumbling my name again and I sighed, buckling her in.

It was going to be long fucking night.

When I pulled up to my house, I picked Bella up again, fireman's style this time so I'd be able to open my front door.

She was awake but fucking out of it, blabbing about seahorses.

My neighbour looked at me curiously as I walked past but I figured she'd seen Bella here before and wouldn't call the police on me.

I deposited Bella on the couch, putting her in the recovery position just in case, and went into the kitchen to grab some water. I didn't know what she'd taken but whatever it was she'd need to keep hydrated.

I placed my hands on the counter for a moment.

Thank fuck she'd told me where she was.

My stomach plummeted at the thought of her staying out in the reserve in that state.

What if she'd been arrested?

Or what if she had OD'd?

I slammed my hand on the counter.

How could she be so fucking stupid.

Fuck.

I gulped some water and refilled it for Bella.

I should call Jasper.

That's what friends are supposed to do when they find their friend's semi-conscious semi-girlfriend, high as a kite.

It's just…she called _me_. Not Jasper.

Bella made a noise and I ran out of the kitchen with the water, placing it on the table and kneeling in front of her.

She stirred in front of me, her brown eyes opening. Her pupils were completely dilated. She smiled widely at me.

'Paul.' She said happily, reaching out for me. I accepted her hug, breathing her in. She always smelt so fucking good.

I pulled back from her reluctantly.

'Bella, what did you take?' I asked her again. I thought maybe acid, she was tripping pretty hard earlier. Her eyes widened as they focused on something behind my head.

'Oh no. They're back. Quick.' She said, panicking. 'Paul! We have to leave! They're coming for us.'

'Shh.' I soothed, wrapping her in my arms again, 'Close your eyes baby.'

Best way to survive a bad trip, close your eyes and go with the fucking flow.

She whimpered, closing them.

'Bella, what did you take?' I repeated, stroking her hair. 'You've got to tell me.' She made a noise in my chest. I pulled back from her. 'Keep your eyes closed.' I commanded, 'What did you take? LSD?'

She laughed lightly, 'I took a combooo.'

'What combo?' I said worriedly.

She hummed. 'He said it was hmm I don't remember, one was something like dust.' She giggled.

'Angel dust? Are you fucking kidding?' I said angrily, 'Where did you get it?'

Her eyes opened widely, and she gasped loudly in fear. 'I keep falling through the floor.'

I covered her eyes with my hand. 'Eyes closed, sugar.' I repeated gently.

'I took two, he said to take one, but I took two.' She started giggling again and then sighed. 'I'm so glad you're with me. I don't want them to take you, but I want you with me.'

'No one's taking me.' I said, moving to sit with her on the couch, I pulled her head into my lap, keeping my hand over her eyes. She laughed lightly.

'They'll take you. And I'll be all alone. I'm always all alone.' Her voice grew sombre and I stroked my other hand through her hair. She sighed. 'That feels so good. Everything feels so good.'

She moaned, arching her back as my nails scratched her scalp and I swallowed as my eyes inadvertently flicked down her body.

She was in one of her work T-shirts with no fucking bra and these tiny little shorts that showed her long legs.

I looked away guiltily. Bella grabbed my hand that was covering her eyes and tugged it away gently.

'Bella.' I warned.

Suddenly she sat up, turning to face me. Her eyes were huge. 'Bella don't look.' I admonished.

'No. I need to _see._' She said earnestly. 'I didn't see. He was right in front of me and I didn't even see.'

'See what?' I said, confused.

'Edward.' She said, her face scrunching up in pain. 'I didn't see him, I didn't know she was dead. _She_ lied to me.'

'What?' I said, my eyebrows knitting together. 'Who's dead?'

Her vision went unfocused for a second as she looked at something behind me, she grabbed my thigh worriedly. 'We're on a sinking ship.' She said, biting her lower lip. 'I can't swim.'

'Yes, you can baby.' I said gently, 'I've seen you swim.'

'Not in water like this?' She climbed into my lap, straddling my hips, her eyes meeting mine. 'We'll drown.'

I cupped her face in my hands, 'I will never let anything bad happen to you, okay? Now close your eyes, please.'

She swallowed heavily, 'Okay.' She closed her eyes. She laughed suddenly, 'I'm like the blind mice.'

'What?'

She laughed again, 'I was blind…but now I see. Edward…he…how did I not see?'

'Who's Edward?' I asked her, confused.

'I don't know anymore.' She said, her lower lip trembling. She opened her eyes and leant towards me. 'Paul.'

'I'm right here.' I said, meeting her gaze worriedly.

'Don't leave.' She said, her eyes huge.

'I won't leave baby.' I said, cupping her cheek. Her eyes dropped down to my mouth.

'I'm dreaming.' She said, stroking her hand down my face. 'This is a good dream.'

'No Bella.' I shook my head. 'You're not dreaming.'

'I don't want to wake up.' She said, her eyes filling with tears. 'Paul. I-' She crashed her mouth to mine, and I opened my mouth in shock. She took the opportunity to slide her tongue into my mouth and I couldn't help but groan.

Kissing Bella was like coming home. Fucking perfect. She sighed into my mouth, tangling her fingers in my hair and shifting in my lap. It felt so good…but…

I pulled back sharply. I couldn't do this. She needed me right now. And Jasper…Fuck.

Bella nestled her head into my neck, sighing softly. I wrapped my arms around her, willing my body to not react to her the way it always did.

She pulled back and ran her hand down my cheek. 'You're so beautiful.' She said, giggling. She said something under her breath, but I couldn't hear her.

Suddenly she was crying, wretched sobs tearing out of her throat.

'What's wrong?' I asked worriedly.

Bella just cried harder. I swallowed heavily, I hated that she was hurting.

'Shh.' I soothed, stroking her back, she dropped her head into my neck, sobbing. I wrapped her in my arms tightly.

Clearly something had happened.

'What's the matter beautiful?' I asked her, kissing her head. 'Talk to me.'

'I can't.' She cried.

I sighed wearily, stroking her back.

Did someone hurt her?

Where did she get the drugs?

Fuck.

I didn't know what to fucking do.

I needed to fucking google Angel Dust too because I couldn't remember what it did, but I was pretty sure it was a really fucking intense high.

How much did she take?

I felt her breathing even out against my neck as she fell asleep.

I sighed, my head tilting back and staring at the ceiling for a moment before moving out from underneath her and laying her on her side again.

She looked so fucking cute, her face slightly smushed against her bicep.

I stretched my arms over my head yawning. It was going to be a long fucking night.

'I really fucking love you.' I said softly to her sleeping form.

I needed to call Jasper.

X

'What do you mean?' Jasper said worriedly.

'I mean, Bella is completely fucked up. I brought her here, but you should come over man.'

'Is she okay? What happened?'

'I don't know, she's had a mix of something and one of them is Angel Dust dude.' Jasper swore loudly. 'I know, she's so fucking out of it. When she called me she was trippin' hard. Luckily she told me where she was.'

'She called you?' Jasper asked, sounding confused.

I sighed, 'Yeah.'

There was a pause. 'Why didn't she call me?'

_I don't fucking know Jas._

'I think she probably just called whoever was at the top of her phone. You have no idea how fucked up she is man.' I said to him.

I really hoped that wasn't true, but maybe it was. I mean, why would she call me instead of Jasper?

'I'm coming now.' He said worriedly. 'Should I bring anything? Can we try to level her out?'

I could hear him rushing around and grabbing his keys.

'I don't know. She's passed out right now. I don't think it would be good to mix anything else in, we don't know what she took.'

'Okay. On my way.' Jasper said, hanging up.

I put my head in my hands.

I hadn't had anyone over except Bella in months.

I didn't want them to know how often I was here alone.

Maybe at first, they'd come stay over or something but then it would become inconvenient and eventually every time it was brought up it'd just be a fucking pity party.

And now Jasper was probably going to figure it out.

Fuck, should I tell him she kissed me?

'Paul?' I heard Bella say in a panicked voice. I rushed into the lounge. She looked fucking terrified.

She practically jumped on me as I appeared, wrapping her legs around my waist.

'Shh baby I'm here.' I said, soothingly, guiding us down to sit on the couch. She buried her head into my neck, sobbing and I ran my hand up her back, rubbing softly.

'I thought you left me. I was all alone in the dark.'

I looked at the brightly lit room with a shake of my head.

I sighed, stroking her hair. 'I just went to call Jasper.'

'Jasper?' She asked, pulling back from me. A smile crossed her face.

I felt like I'd been punched in the gut.

'Yeah.' I managed to say. 'He's coming.'

Bella looked at me worriedly. 'You won't leave though?'

I swallowed, 'Why do you want me? Jasper will be here.'

She looked into my eyes, her pupils were so dilated... 'I want you.' She said frowning. 'I always want you.'

_I wish you did._

She frowned and pressed her lips to mine.

I sighed, pulling back, 'Bella.'

'Why don't you want me?' She said, her eyes filling with tears.

I sighed, cupping her cheek. 'You have no idea how much I want you.' I admitted.

She shivered. 'Paul, I'm scared. Everything is so dark except you. If you let go, I'll be lost forever.'

'Shh.' I soothed, stroking her back, 'You're not going anywhere.'

The front door opened, and Jasper walked in. He looked at Bella in my lap, his face worried. He walked over to us, bending down.

'Hey darlin'.' He said softly.

Bella turned to him, a huge smile crossing her face. I felt like someone had stabbed me in the ribs.

'Jasper.' She said brightly.

He held out his arms and she jumped into them, wrapping her legs around his waist. He turned and sat down on the couch next to me, Bella curled into his lap.

'How you doin' baby?' He asked her, cupping her cheek.

Bella's eyes widened and she reached out to touch his face before she started falling sideways.

Jasper chuckled, gripping her waist and kissing her cheek.

'Falling, falling. Fuzzy.' Bella murmured, swaying slightly.

'How's she doing?' Jasper asked me, stroking her hair.

'She's okay, just high as fuck.' I shrugged. 'Was worried at first when she passed out but she's doing fine now.'

He nodded, smiling at me gratefully. 'Thank you so much man, for looking after her.'

_I didn't do it for you._

'Yeah.' I said, swallowing.

Bella pulled back from him and looked into his eyes. 'Jasper you can't let them take you.'

He frowned, stroking her cheek, 'I won't darlin'.'

She nodded, then turned her head towards me. She grabbed my hand in hers and pulled me closer to Jasper, resting her head on both of our shoulders.

I sighed as I felt her warm breath against my neck. Jasper ran his hand up and down her back, kissing her head softly. He turned his head to me.

'Where's your dad?'

'Away.' I said truthfully.

Jasper's eyes narrowed as they flicked them around the room and then back to me, but he didn't say anything.

'Well, were you having a good evening before this?' Jasper gestured his head to Bella, a small smile playing at his mouth.

'Yeah, was just chilling.' I replied, 'You?'

Jasper nodded, 'Just swim practice. Parents get back tonight. My mom is…struggling. It's the anniversary soon.'

I swallowed, 'I know man, I'm sorry.'

'He would have been 13 this year.' Jasper said, his eyes full of pain.

'How are you doing?' I asked him carefully.

He shrugged, blinking back tears. I didn't really have any access to him with Bella on top of us so I reached my hand up and grabbed his head, pressing it to mine for a sec. He closed his eyes briefly.

This is why I was a fucking dick.

Jasper was my best friend. He's a good guy.

I shouldn't feel this way about Bella.

Bella pulled back from us and looked at him. 'What's wrong?' She asked worriedly.

'You're bleeding' She reached her finger out and wiped a tear from his eye. 'You're crying blood, are you dying?' Her body shook slightly. 'Am I?'

Jasper swallowed, cupping her cheek. 'Nobody's dying baby. You're okay.'

She frowned, 'Ella's dead.'

'Who's Ella?' I asked her carefully.

'Edward's mom.' She said, her eyes filling with tears. 'I should have…I didn't know.'

'Edward?' Jasper mouthed at me. I shrugged.

'Bella, who's Edward?' I asked her.

She laughed sharply. 'I didn't see it.'

I sighed, 'I haven't really gotten anywhere with why she took the drugs in the first place.' I said to Jasper.

He frowned, 'Self medicating probably. So, something with her mom? Maybe she was dr- '

He stopped talking hurriedly and looked at Bella guiltily.

She was zoned out, staring at her hand and moving it back and forth.

'Don't worry man, I know.' I reassured him. 'I think you're right, but she keeps mentioning this Edward too so I feel like it's more.'

Bella turned to me worriedly. 'Paul.' She said, trembling.

'I'm still here.' I said softly. She nodded, reaching out to touch my face.

I breathed in sharply, my eyes flicking to Jasper. He was watching her curiously.

Bella clutched at my T-shirt, shifting out of Jasper's lap and into mine. Her hands were shaking. 'The floor is falling again.' She said in a panicked voice.

I looked to Jasper quickly, he just stroked Bella's back, his eyes on me.

I didn't really know what to do. Jasper was here too. How the fuck was I supposed to comfort her?

Bella looked at me, her eyes wide with fear and I just thought, fuck it.

'I won't let you fall.' I said to her softly. She shivered.

'Promise?'

'I promise.' I said, looking into her eyes. She leant towards me and I was scared she was going to kiss me again. I think Jasper was too because he made a shocked noise.

Luckily, she just pressed her forehead against mine.

'Eyes closed now sugar.' I said softly. She nodded, moving her head from mine burying her face into my neck. I looked at Jasper apologetically, but he didn't look mad. Bella let out a sigh against my neck and relaxed.

I looked down at her but she wasn't sleeping, just playing with the hem of my T-shirt quietly.

It felt wrong, holding her like that with Jasper next to me, so I gently nudged her off my lap.

Bella protested a little, looking beseechingly up at me and I smiled comfortingly at her.

'I'm going to get some water b-Bella.' I told her softly, sneaking a look at Jasper out of the corner of my eye to see if he caught the slip.

He wasn't even looking at me, his phone was in his hand.

He put it down when Bella climbed into his lap, smiling at her when she ran her hand through his hair.

'So soft.' She mused, dreamily.

'Yeah?' Jasper smirked, tilting his head up at her.

She bit her lip and leaned in to kiss him, sighing softly into his mouth.

I stood up, ignoring the wrenching sensation in my gut.

'Where you going?' Jasper asked, pulling back from Bella. She moved to lay her head in his lap and grabbed his hand, playing with his fingers.

'Water. You hungry? Wanna order a pizza?'

Jasper nodded.

By the time the pizza came and we'd eaten it, it was about 9pm.

Bella only managed one slice which I had to practically force her to eat.

After that she kept wandering around the room, running her hands along the walls.

Jasper put on some chilled music to help with the trip.

By 11pm Jasper had passed out on the sofa and Bella was spinning in circles which I put a stop to straight away because I was almost certain she was going to end up puking.

By midnight Bella mellowed out a little and lay on the carpet, staring at the ceiling and giggling every now and again. I put the TV on with an old Indiana Jones, but neither of us were watching it.

About half an hour later Jasper woke up looking disoriented and I punched his shoulder.

'Nice nap?' I teased.

He ran a hand down his face blearily. 'Sorry the training right now has been killing me. Is everything okay?'

'Yep.' I said, yawning.

Jasper slowly sat up, stretching his arms over his head.

'Paul come and feel this.' Bella babbled excitedly, her hands stroking the carpet.

I rolled my eyes, sliding down the sofa and placing my hands on the floor.

'Oh yeah.' I groaned appreciatively, winking at her.

She giggled, sitting up and moving towards me.

'Does it not feel amazing to you?' She asked, a lazy smile on her face.

'Do you want me to take a tab so it does?' I teased.

Jasper laughed, moving to the floor too.

Bella crawled over to him straddling his lap.

Ugh.

Her eyes darkened and she leant to his ear to whisper something.

He laughed throatily.

'Not sure Paul would appreciate that baby.' He grinned at her.

I grimaced.

'I can leave.' I said awkwardly.

Bella turned to me with wide eyes.

'No!' She launched herself at me. 'You said you'd stay.' She demanded.

Her eyes started filling with tears again and I swore quietly.

Bella dropped her head into my shoulder, crying and hiccupping and I wrapped my arms around her.

I pressed my face into her hair.

'I'm sorry baby.' I breathed, too quietly for Jasper to hear.

'Don't leave me.' Bella cried.

I nudged her head back and looked into her deep chocolate eyes.

_God she was so beautiful._

'I won't, I promise. Don't cry. _Please._'

Bella's lower lip trembled and she pressed her face into my neck, her sobs fading.

I met Jasper's gaze and gave him an apologetic look.

He rolled his eyes at me as if to say, 'don't worry about it.'

'Can I stay here for a while, with you?' Bella murmured into my skin. 'I can't go home.'

I shot Jasper a worried look and he mirrored it.

'Of course you can.'

'Why not Bella?'

We both spoke at the same time.

She started crying again and I stroked up her back.

Jasper came over to sit next to me, and Bella lifted her head up to look at him.

'What's the matter darlin'?' He asked her softly, stroking her cheek with his thumb. 'Why can't you go home?' His voice lowered, 'What did she do?'

Bella shook her head. 'I c-can't.'

'Bella.' Jasper pushed.

'Jas.' I warned, as she started shaking.

Jasper shot me an irritated look and I sighed.

Jasper's phone started ringing and he swore quietly.

'Fuck is that the time?'

He jumped up to grab his phone and walked out the room.

'Mom. I'm so sorry. I had to help a friend...' His voice trailed off.

I looked back at Bella and was surprised to see she was staring at me.

'Paul.' She said softly. 'I can stay right?'

'You can stay.' I said, studying her eyes. 'Did someone hurt you? Did she…'

'No…I…' Her eyes were full of tears. 'Just keep me distracted _please_.'

'Okay.' I reassured her.

Her brown eyes studied mine for a moment. 'Paul,' She said softly. She leant towards me.

Her warm lips pressed against mine and I jerked my head back. Fuck.

She moved forward, kissing me again, I could taste salt on her lips.

_Oh, Bella. _

'Stop.' I said hurriedly, moving her off my lap and standing up.

Jasper was in the next fucking room.

'Fuck.' I said guiltily.

She stared up at me, her eyes wide.

'I'm sorry.' She apologised, biting her lip.

I sighed, sitting back down next to her. 'It's okay. I know it wasn't about me, you just want a distraction, right?'

Jasper came back into the room.

'All okay?' I asked him.

'My mom is fuckin' freaking. I forgot to tell them I wasn't going to be home and they arrived to an empty house blah blah blah.'

'Shit.'

'It's fine I calmed her down but…I gotta go.'

'Seriously?' I stood up, grabbing his arm and shooting Bella a smile as we left.

She lay back on the carpet, humming.

'Jas, what the fuck?'

He sighed wearily. 'I've got practice in 4 hours. I need to get some sleep.'

'Just sleep here.' I urged. 'You can't just fucking leave.'

He looked guilty 'I don't _want _to leave. But I can't help with her when I'm sleeping anyway and Paul, I have to fucking sleep. It's already 1am, that means my competition is literally fucking tomorrow. This practice is important.'

_So what?_

'More important than Bella?' I said icily.

'Of-course it's not.' Jasper snapped. 'But…'

'But what? Fuck, sometimes you can be such a dick.' I breathed.

He glared at me. 'What do you want me to do? Fuck up regionals? Fuck up my chances of getting scouted and accepted into an Ivy?'

I stared at him blankly. 'She needs you.'

Jasper smiled humourlessly. 'She doesn't need me when she has you. We both know that.'

I shook my head at him. 'Fine, fuck off then I'll skip tomorrow to stay with her. She won't be able to go in. If you even care.'

'Don't be a dick.' Jasper growled. 'You know I care. I'll come straight after practice in the morning and bring you guys something to eat.'

'Fine.' I said, 'But you can tell her.'

His eyes softened, 'Yeah, I'll tell her.' He ran a hand down his face. 'Fuck. I hate that she's hurting, and I can't fucking do anything. Every time we get somewhere good something happens.'

'I'll see if I can get her to talk.' I said shortly. 'She can stay here as long as she needs anyway, whatever happened.'

He nodded at me. 'What about your dad and step-mom?'

'They're not coming back for a bit.' I said quickly.

Jasper searched my eyes and then nodded. 'Okay.'

**X**

'Bella. Shh.' I soothed, guiding her to sit on the sofa.

It was 5am and we hadn't slept a fucking wink.

'But I feel like I'm not here.' She gasped. 'I feel like I'm floating or something, I swear I just left my body for a second.'

I rubbed her back. 'You're fine, trust me.'

Bella started laughing hysterically. I sighed. This had been happening every hour.

She turned to me worriedly. 'Can you hear that.'

'Of-course.' I lied. I'd learnt a few hours before that with Bella it was better to just go along with her hallucinations. Then she kind of forgot about them.

I forced back a yawn. My eyes were starting to get heavy but I couldn't sleep, she was fucking wired and I needed to talk her down.

I was dreading the fucking come down, hopefully Jasper would be back by then.

'It's happening again, everything around me keeps fading.' Bella cried, her eyes full of terror.

'Shh.' I said, grabbing her face. 'Hey. Look at me.' I ordered.

Her eyes met mine and I smiled reassuringly. 'You're fine.'

She moved forward, straddling my hips. 'Are you sure? What if I'm imagining you too? What if I'm all alone? What if I'm dying, what if I'm already d-'

'Bella.' I interrupted. 'I'm right here.' I placed her hand on my chest. 'I'm here, and you're here.'

'I feel like I-Paul something's standing over there.' She said, terror in her eyes as she looked behind me. 'It's the man from earlier, with black eyes and knives for hands.' Her voice wavered with fear.

_Jesus I'm so glad I don't believe in supernatural shit because otherwise I'd never be able to sleep here again. _

I cupped her cheek and moved her head to look into my eyes.

'There's nothing there baby, I promise. Just don't look.'

'Are you s-sure?' She whispered, her brown orbs staring deeply into mine.

I gave her a smile and turned to look behind me.

'See, nothin' there at all sugar.' I turned back to look at her and she swallowed, pressing her hand against my chest again.

'And you're here right, you're real.' She said quietly, almost to herself.

I smiled at her again, pressing my hand on top of hers. 'You can feel my heart beat can't you?'

She nodded, pressing her hand into me harder. My heart skipped a beat in my chest as her brown eyes looked into mine and I swallowed, hoping she didn't notice.

'If this is real, how come you're actually talking to me?' Bella said softly.

I closed my eyes briefly. 'Ah, I…'

Bella frowned, 'I hate it when you ignore me.'

I swallowed. 'I hate it too.'

'Why?' She asked me, her deep brown eyes searching mine.

I shook my head at her. 'I'm sorry.'

'I miss you.' She said hoarsely.

I cupped her cheek, breathing out slowly.

Her mouth was so close to mine I could feel her breath on my lips.

_Oh, baby. I miss you too._

'I'm right here.' I said carefully.

Her eyes welled up and she looked down sadly, 'Do you miss me?'

I tilted her chin up with my finger, 'Of course I fucking miss you.' I sighed, 'I l…'

I stopped myself immediately. Jesus Christ I'm way too fucking tired for this conversation.

'I like spending time with you.' I said hurriedly, trying to cover up my words.

Fuck, please don't remember this conversation.

My phone beeped and Bella jumped.

Thank fuck for that.

I picked it up, staring at the screen blearily.

Fuck I was tired.

**Hope you two are asleep and night went okay, I just got to practice. I'll be over in 3 hours with some McD's. J**

I sighed.

_We haven't slept, she's still fucking wired. I'm hoping she'll fall asleep soon so I can pass out too. I'd skip the food dude, doubt we'll be up for eating and hopefully we'll be asleep. Can you bring weed? You going to school or staying here with us?_

**Shit really? I'm sorry, I should have been there. I really appreciate it man. Ok, let me know if there's anything else. Yeah, I'll skip. Then you can get some sleep.**

_K. If we're asleep when you get here DO NOT wake us up. You going to be pissed if I put her in my bed? Don't want to leave her on her own._

**It's fine. Gotta go.**

Bella made an impatient noise and I looked up at her.

'What's the matter baby?' I asked her, smiling despite myself.

She looked so fucking cute.

She jumped on me and I laughed as she buried her face in my neck.

I rubbed my hand up her back as she yawned.

'You sleepy?'

Thank _fuck_.

She hummed into my neck and I sat up from the sofa, grabbing her legs and holding them around my waist.

She sighed softly as I walked her up the stairs.

I deposited her on my bed.

She snuggled into my pillow and I laughed.

Fucking cute.

God, I wished I could kiss her.

I sighed wearily, going to look through my wardrobe for a shirt for her to wear.

I turned back to her with it in my hands and she stood up on my bed, swaying from side to side.

Her hands ran across her skin and she shivered.

'I'm so hot, are you hot?'

I swallowed as she lifted the shirt over her head and tossed it aside, revealing her fucking gorgeous, full tits.

Fuck. Me.

I tried to ignore her dusty pink nipples and how fucking good she looked.

I moved towards her with the shirt in my hand.

'Bella.' My voice was practically a groan as she looked at me from under her eyelashes.

'Here.' I said, holding the shirt out to her.

She didn't make any move to grab it and I groaned.

'Fuck Bella. Seriously? Come here.' I ordered.

She obliged, stepping towards me.

I grabbed her by the waist and stood her in front of me.

'Hands up.' I ordered, keeping my eyes on hers.

She raised them above her head yawning and I pulled the shirt down, breathing a sigh of relief when she was covered.

Bella undid her shorts by herself thankfully and I had to stop myself groaning when she bent over and her gorgeous ass was revealed to me in nothing but a tiny black thong.

My cock twitched.

Fuck.

I'm the worst guy in the world.

She was so high and I was being a fucking creep.

She buried herself into my pillow again, sighing at me as I quickly threw on a pair of sleeping pants, keeping my shirt on.

I didn't think Jasper would be overly pleased if he found me half naked in bed with his girl.

I turned off the light and crawled into the bed, grabbing her and tucking her into my chest so I could keep her on her side.

I didn't think she was going to throw up, she seemed fine, but just in case…

She was already fast asleep and snoring slightly.

I closed my eyes.

**X**

I stirred, something tickling my nose.

I opened my eyes slightly, seeing nothing but brown hair. I lifted my head, squinting. Bella was still tucked into my chest and to my surprise Jasper was passed out next to her, one arm under the pillow, the other linked with Bella's in between them.

Bella shifted in her sleep, turning to face me and slinging an arm over my waist, her head nestling into my shoulder.

Jasper moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her and resting his head between her shoulder blades.

Bella hummed in her sleep, a smile playing at her mouth.

My eyes closed again.

'Bella don't wake him up.' I heard.

I blinked blearily, opening my eyes.

Bella was sitting on the bed next to me, holding a cup of coffee.

I yawned, stretching my arms above my head and Bella grinned, starting to move towards me.

Jasper quickly grabbed the coffee from her hands, laughing as she wrapped her arms around me.

'You okay sugar?' I asked, my voice husky from sleep. 'What time is it?'

'3.' Jasper drawled, sitting on the bed next to Bella and placing the cup of coffee on the bedside table. 'Bella woke up at 11ish but we wanted to let you sleep, didn't we darlin'?' His eyes were bloodshot and he looked fucking wrecked.

I doubted I looked any better.

'I brought you coffee.' Bella mumbled into my chest.

'Thanks.' I said, rubbing her back. 'How are you feeling?'

'Fucking stellar.' She said sarcastically.

I stifled a laugh. 'Are you done tripping?'

She sighed against me and I shivered at the feel of her warm breath on my neck.

'Not really. Still hallucinating.'

'PCP takes ages to leave.' Jasper commented softly, 'You might feel it for a few days still.'

Bella's grip on me tightened.

'Are you on a come down?' I asked quietly.

Bella lifted her head from my chest and shook her head at me. 'Not yet.'

'She cried half the morning.' Jasper stated, shooting Bella a concerned look.

'Well that's…I don't want to talk about that.' She said stiffly, leaning over to grab the coffee and handing it to me.

'Here.' She smiled, kissing my cheek.

I tried to ignore the warm feeling that spread in my chest.

I sat up, yawning.

'Do you remember anything from last night?' I asked Bella curiously, hoping I didn't sound as nervous as I felt.

Bella's eyes were strangely guarded as she stared into my eyes. 'Not really no.'

Jasper snorted. 'Not surprised, you were fucked darlin'.'

My stomach growled. 'Fuck I'm hungry. Alright let's let Jasper sleep a few more hours Bella. We can go make some food.'

Jasper smiled at me gratefully.

'Okay.' She grinned. She turned to Jasper and he smiled softly at her, his eyes light.

'You going to kiss me goodnight?' He winked.

'Come here then sugar.' I teased.

He burst out laughing and Bella giggled, a glint in her eye that suggested she enjoyed the suggestion.

_Bad girl._

I raised my eyebrows at her and she smiled wickedly before leaning into Jasper and kissing him, her hand on his chest.

He tugged her closer, tangling a hand in her hair and she moaned breathily.

I grimaced, getting out of bed.

'I'm going to have a shower.'

**X**

Bella was standing in front of the window, staring into the garden when I came downstairs.

'You okay?' I asked her, coming to stand next to her.

The sun was beaming through the glass, warming my skin.

Bella nodded, her eyes darting from one side of the garden to the other.

'What do you see?' I asked her curiously, itching to wrap my arms around her.

She smiled wryly. 'Fairies.'

'Cool.' I mused.

Bella turned to me, her eyes still dilated. 'Not really. Fucking terrifying actually. Razor sharp teeth and these black eyes.' She shuddered.

I gave in and tugged her into me gently, wrapping my arms around her stomach. 'I'll protect you from the evil little fairies.' I said playfully into her ear.

She shivered, leaning back into me and I frowned, holding her tighter. 'You cold?'

'I…guess.' Bella said softly.

'I can get you a hoodie if you want ba-Bella?'

I fought the temptation to press my hips forwards to feel her ass against my crotch. She smelt so fucking good and she was so warm.

I let go of her before my dick could ruin the moment.

Bella swallowed and I frowned at her. 'What's wrong?'

She shook her head at me and then gazed back out into the garden.

A weary sigh slipped from her mouth. 'It's wearing off…I need to take another one.'

I snorted. 'Yeah that's not going to fucking happen.'

Bella turned to look at me, her eyes narrowing. 'Why? I need to…I can't feel like this…'

'Yes, you can. Talk to me. What happened Bella?'

Her beautiful brown eyes filled with tears but she lifted her chin so they didn't fall.

'Nothing.'

I grabbed her jaw gently and stared into her eyes. 'Clearly something happened. You can put off talking about it as long as you want, it won't make it go away.'

Her bottom lip trembled. 'She lied to me.'

'Your mom?'

Her eyes narrowed. 'Don't call her that right now. She doesn't fucking deserve the title.'

'Okay.' I said softly.

She sighed. 'I'll…I'll tell you eventually. Just…I need a cigarette.'

I sat with her while she smoked. She was contemplative, staring at the trees.

I let her stew for a while but I didn't want her to stay in her head too much.

'More fairies?' I teased.

The corner of her mouth turned up and her big brown eyes fixed on mine.

'Not so much.'

'Come on let me make you something to eat.' I said softly.

She nodded slowly and I grabbed her hand and tugged her to the kitchen.

She giggled when I grabbed her waist and sat her on the kitchen counter.

She smiled at me and I found myself remembering the sight of her sitting there naked, spread out for me, her eyes all dark and needy.

_Fuck._

'What do you want?' I asked her in a low tone.

Bella's eyes widened and I cleared my throat. 'To eat.' I said quickly. 'What do you want to eat?'

She bit her lip. 'I don't mind. Just not…not pasta.'

'Why?' I asked her raising an eyebrow.

She grimaced. 'Just things are wriggling when they aren't supposed to right now and I feel like pasta will be a whole…thing.'

I laughed. 'Hmm okay. But you know my repertoire is a little lacking especially when you take out pasta.'

She grinned at me, her eyes sparkling. 'Do you have nuggets?'

I smiled back at her. 'I think I can do nuggets.'

I put friends on for Bella and we sat on the floor with her sitting between my legs to eat.

When we finished she lay back against my chest, tangling her legs with mine.

I buried my face in her hair, ignoring the screen completely and breathing her in.

'Mason, the mechanic guy, he's…I know him, from…before I moved here. We were best friends growing up, his name is Edward. I didn't…I didn't recognise him until a few days ago and he didn't tell me that we knew each other.'

She breathed out slowly, her voice monotonous. 'After work…we went to talk, I wanted to understand why he hadn't told me who he was. I told you before that sometimes he…he acted like he hated me, well he does.' She choked.

'When I left…Edward and I we were fighting with each other. It wasn't a planned thing for me to leave, it was really sudden. Char…my dad…'

She started crying and my chest constricted painfully.

'Shh.' I soothed her, kissing her neck.

She took a few shuddering breaths, 'Renee made me change my phone because she didn't want T-. She didn't want people from before to have my new number but she told me she'd give it to Edward's mom…

I just assumed he didn't want to talk to me when he never called but…he never got the message because…'

Bella choked.

'His mom was…she's…_gone. _I had no _idea_.

I asked about her and he completely lost it. He told me that… his mom had d-…and that Renee knew.

She didn't fucking _tell _me. He lost his mom and thought that I didn't care.'

Bella's body stiffened. 'How could she not fucking tell me…Ella… she was…she was more of a mom to me than Renee and now she's…she's gone.' Her voice was hollow and broken.

'Edward doesn't believe that I didn't know. He hates me more than ever and I don't blame him. When he left me there I couldn't…I couldn't feel it Paul. It was so…'

I tucked my chin against her shoulder, wrapping my arms around her stomach.

I knew Bella's mom was shitty but Jesus.

She choked back a sob. 'I can't go back to the apartment, I can't be near her.'

I breathed out carefully, my jaw twitching.

'He just left you?'

'Please Paul, I don't want to talk about it anymore.'

I kissed her head, wrapping my arms around her stomach. 'Okay. You can stay here for as long as you need baby.'

She gripped my arms tightly, her breaths slowing down again.

After a while she turned to look at me. 'Baby?'

Fuck.

'I've called you baby lots of times.' I said innocently.

Bella frowned at me. 'Maybe during sex.'

'It's no big deal.' I said quickly, 'I say it to everyone.'

Bella's face fell. 'Oh.'

She started to pull away from me and I sighed, tugging her back.

Christ.

I didn't call anyone else fucking baby but I couldn't tell her that shit.

I dropped my head to her neck. 'Don't leave.' I murmured.

Bella huffed, but relaxed in my arms and I kissed her neck gently.

Her whole body shivered, and I swallowed.

I kissed her there again and she sighed breathily, her back arching.

Fuck. She still wanted me.

I felt my cock harden.

I wanted to run my hands down her stomach, kiss her mouth, hear her moan my name.

Fuck, _stop._

I pulled back from her abruptly. 'I should go wake up Jasper.' I said awkwardly.

Bella shifted in my arms, looking guilty. 'Yes. I um, I need to pee anyway.'

'Okay.' I said hurriedly.

We got up from the floor.

**X**

'Fuck!' Bella exclaimed. 'I need to call in sick!'

I yawned, stirring the pan of pasta.

I'd exhausted all culinary options and it was all I could fucking make.

'Already did that sugar.'

Bella turned to me with narrowed eyes. 'How did you get into my phone?'

I rolled my eyes. 'I don't know Bella, maybe because your passcode is fucking bumblebee, which also happens to be your background.'

Jasper snorted from the counter and Bella gave me an indignant look.

'What did you say?' She asked worriedly.

'I said you were sick.' I told her. 'Jas can you grate some cheese.'

He grumbled and slid off the counter, squeezing Bella's ass as he walked past her.

Bella smiled softly but it didn't reach her eyes.

I frowned at her, grabbing her wrist and tugging her to me.

'You okay?'

She sighed, dropping her forehead to my shoulder and I rubbed her back.

'Feel like shit.' She mumbled.

Jasper stopped fucking with the cheese packet and came over.

'Would a group hug make you feel better baby?' Jasper offered, grinning.

I rolled my eyes when he wrapped his arms around us both and squeezed.

Bella laughed into my chest.

Jasper pulled Bella away from me and I felt a plummeting sensation in my stomach.

'Should smoke up darlin', it'll help with the comedown.' Jasper said to Bella, kissing her neck as he hugged her from behind.

'Yeah.' She said softly. Her eyes flicked up to mine. 'Will you smoke too?'

'Yeah, sure.'

He turned to her.

'Baby I'm going to have to go in a sec.' He said, looking apologetic.

Bella nodded slowly. 'Your competition is tomorrow.'

Jasper sighed. 'Yeah. I'm really sorry I don't want you to think I don't want to be here with you.'

'No…I know it's important to you.'

Jasper cupped her cheek. 'But you're also important to me, you know that don't you beautiful?'

I felt a stabbing sensation in my chest but I couldn't look away.

Didn't know I was such a fucking masochist.

She nodded, smiling at him weakly.

He kissed her and she melted into his body, her arms wrapping around his neck. He bent his head to murmur something in her ear and she shivered, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip.

Our eyes met for a moment and I felt something lurch in my chest. Bella studied me curiously and I realised with a shock that I was probably wearing my emotions on my face. I looked away sharply, finishing the food.

We ate at the table together and then Jasper got up to leave, kissing Bella softly.

'You two goin' to school tomorrow?' He asked her.

She sighed softly, 'Yeah.'

He smiled at her and she ran a hand through his hair.

'Good luck baby. You'll be amazing.' She said sweetly, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.

I fought a grimace.

She's never called _me _baby.

'Break a leg, or you know, don't.' I teased Jasper when he extracted himself from her arms.

He rolled his eyes at me.

'I'll try, thanks man. I'll see you both after school tomorrow?'

'I have to go to work.' Bella breathed out, a nervous look in her eye.

I crossed my arms, 'I'll take you.'

I would like to talk to this fucking Edward.

Jasper frowned and I realised Bella mustn't have told him yet.

'My car is still there.' She elaborated for Jasper, looking at me briefly before back to him.

'Just come here tomorrow night man. She's staying for a while anyway.' I said, trying to keep the bite out of my voice.

'Yeah.' Jasper glanced at me curiously before leaning to kiss Bella again.

I started clearing away the plates as she walked him out the door.

I was washing up when I felt Bella wrap her arms around my waist from behind me, making me jump. I finished drying the last plate and stacked it next to the sink.

Bella sighed against my back and I turned in her arms, hugging her tightly.

'Are you okay?'

'I'm fine, just feeling…down.'

I kissed her head, 'Come on, lets smoke up and then go to bed. You must be fucked.'

When we were both feeling mellowed out from the weed, Bella showered and I sorted out the guest room for her to sleep in.

I couldn't cope with her in my bed, especially if she was going to be here a while…

I didn't trust myself.

The room was a fucking nightmare and there was crap all over the bed which I had to move and dump into a pile in the corner of the room.

I looked up as she came out of the bathroom smelling like soap, her hair wet and her face pink.

She looked fucking edible.

'What are you doing?' She asked me, leaning against the doorway.

She was in another one of my T-shirts and a rolled up pair of my boxers.

_God I love her in my clothes._

'Sorting this shit out so you can sleep in here.' I told her, shoving the last pillow into its case.

She made a discontented noise and I turned to look at her curiously.

'Why can't I sleep with you?'

I sighed, 'Because. Jasper….'

'What about him?' Bella frowned at me.

'He wouldn't like it.' I elaborated, throwing the pillow on the bed.

'It's not like I'm riding your cock, it's just sleep.' Bella pouted.

'I think his problem would be the fact you _have_ ridden my cock.' I pointed out, raising an eyebrow at her.

'I remember.' She said huskily. The glint that appeared in her eye made my cock swell and I swallowed.

'So do I.' I said under my breath.

She bit her lip, 'Just tonight then, please? I don't want to be on my own.'

I sighed, 'Okay, well, it's ready for you tomorrow then.'

'Okay.' She grinned, skipping into my room and jumping onto my bed.

'Fuckin' cute.' I muttered under my breath, shutting the door behind me. I turned the light off and fell next to her on the bed, staring pointedly at the ceiling.

'It wasn't a distraction.' She said after a while.

I turned my head to hers curiously, 'What?'

'When I kissed you last night. I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you.'

_Fuck, don't say that to me._

I sighed heavily, 'Why are you…why are you telling me this?'

'I wanted you to know.' Bella said softly, 'And I meant it when I said I missed you.'

I swallowed and turned my head back to the ceiling. 'So, you do remember last night.'

Bella sighed softly, 'I remember…some of it. I don't know how much is just my imagination.'

Fuck.

'I know you found me, that you looked after me.' Her voice was slightly shaky and I breathed out slowly, moving my head to face her again.

'I'll always look after you.' I assured her, feeling my heart jump in my chest as I stared into her deep brown eyes.

She bent her head forwards and kissed me on the mouth, softly, her lips barely brushing mine.

My mouth parted automatically and she captured my bottom lip between hers, sucking slightly.

I bit back a groan, pulling back from her.

I fought down the rising lust in my gut and frowned at her.

'What was that for?' I asked throatily.

'Just saying thank you.' She breathed out.

I swallowed, itching to grab her and kiss her properly.

Her fingers rose to touch her lips and she stared at me with a confused expression.

I raised an eyebrow at her.

'What?' I asked defensively.

She shook her head, 'Nothing.'

I lay there awake for hours, acutely aware of her steady breathing next to me.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**BPOV**

When I woke up, Paul was fast asleep next to me, and I lay there, staring at the ceiling.

I hadn't slept well. Interspersed in my dreams had been some weird shit, that was all distortion and chaos, probably aftereffects of my trip…and I'd dreamt of Edward, Charlie, Renee, and…Ella.

My chest constricted at the thought of her.

Poor Edward. His whole world had literally fallen apart, and I…

He hated me now, but I _deserved _it. How could I not recognise my childhood best friend? He was living with this huge thing…and I didn't know.

It explained everything about his behaviour towards me too, he was pissed at me for not recognising him, but that was all, he was going to forgive me for it. He probably thought I was a huge bitch for not saying anything about his mom when I first found out it was him, but…he wanted to talk….I guess he was expecting me to…

_Fuck._

Then I'd asked him, fucking stupidly asked him because I didn't _know_.

Of course he didn't believe me, my fucking parents knew.

It was my fault for cutting everyone off from Forks too, if I'd just kept in contact with _someone_. Maybe I'd have found out…

My head spun in circles of what if's and a deep ache set into my chest, I couldn't believe Renee knew and didn't tell me.

It was unbearable.

I didn't want to see her, I didn't want to be there, I hated her. How could she not tell me? How could she not fucking tell me?

I sighed in anger and frustration, my eyes filling with tears.

I glanced to my left and Paul was staring at me, his deep brown eyes full of concern.

His thumb caught the tear that spilled from my eye and ran down my cheek and he moved closer, pulling me into his chest and hugging me, placing a kiss on my head.

I snuggled into him, but my chest still ached and being in his arms was…confusing.

Probably because I kissed him.

More than once…

I pushed the memory out of my head, the kissing was…I couldn't think about that right now.

'How are you feeling?' His voice was thick and throaty with sleep.

'I'm…' I stopped before saying the word fine because it's crap and he knows it.

'Do you still want to go to school?'

'Yeah.' I breathed. 'Oh! I should call Jasper, he's on his way to the competition.'

Paul's body stiffened for a brief moment and I frowned at him before extricating myself from his arms, grabbing my phone from the bedside table.

'I'm gonna go make some coffee.' Paul said, sitting up and yawning, revealing his half naked body.

My eyes flicked down his muscled chest and arms, lingering on the ridges in his stomach. He wasn't as lean as Jasper but his muscles were bigger. I bit my lip as I remembered how it felt to touch him, how his body felt against mine… When I'd kissed him last night I'd felt…

He stood up and I looked away sharply.

Jasper answered the call straight away and I smiled at the sound of his easy drawl.

'Good mornin' darlin'.'

'Morning.' I said, crossing my legs and sitting up in the bed. 'How are you feeling? Are you almost there?'

'Yep we'll be there in about 30.' I could hear the grin in his voice. 'I feel confident, ready. I've done the training, just got to deliver now.'

'You'll be amazing.' I told him, playing with the duvet cover.

'How are you baby?' Jasper's voice went quieter, 'How's the comedown?'

I sighed softly. 'I'm fine don't worry.'

There was a brief pause. Jasper didn't buy my shit any more than Paul did but he didn't tend to call me out on it.

I hadn't told him why I took the drugs yet, even though I'd told Paul. It was different with Jasper, harder somehow.

I just…couldn't. Plus, he'd been kind of distracted and kind of…absent.

I remembered bits and pieces of being high, but the only constant was Paul, and Jasper had left.

I knew why, it was just…it hurt.

We talked a little more but hearing his voice just made me miss him. I felt like I hadn't spent much time with him the past week.

'Jas…' I said softly.

'Yeah darlin'?' He asked.

'Just…good luck. I…I know you'll do great.'

'Thanks beautiful. Shit, I've gotta go, apparently coach wants to do a pep talk.' He gagged and I laughed softly.

'Okay call me aft-.'

He hung up.

I found a gigantic band T-shirt of Paul's that went down to my mid thigh and pulled a pair of his black boxers on, so that if I flashed accidentally it would look like I was wearing shorts underneath.

I was just brushing my hair with Paul's shit excuse for a hairbrush when he opened the bedroom door, holding a cup of coffee in his hand.

His eyes flicked down my body and he swallowed. 'Oh. You're wearing my clothes?'

I bit my lip. 'I don't have anything else. Is that okay?'

Paul's eyes darkened a little and his jaw twitched. 'Yeah.' He said throatily.

'Does it look okay?' I asked frowning at him, his face was hard to read.

He laughed softly, shaking his head. 'It looks fine Bella.'

I looked in the mirror and frowned.

Fine.

I didn't want to look _fine_.

It was bad enough I didn't have any makeup.

Paul sighed softly and handed me the mug of coffee, a rush of heat going through me as his fingers brushed mine.

'Well should I find something else?' I asked him, feeling frustrated. 'Does it look stupid? I don't want to look like-'

'Shut up.' Paul rolled his eyes, walking to the wardrobe and pulling his pyjama pants down his legs.

I swallowed but didn't look away.

Paul raised an eyebrow at me and started to pull his boxers down.

I bit my lip and turned away, only to widen my eyes when I realised I was looking in the mirror and could still see him.

My eyes mapped his muscled thighs – thank you football – and his cock.

Heat flooded through me. I hadn't seen him naked for a while and I'd almost forgotten how unbelievably sexy he was.

My mouth parted as he pulled on a pair of blue boxers and my eyes raked up his body hungrily. I started coughing when his brown eyes caught mine in the mirror and he smirked at me.

I averted my eyes and he chuckled.

I jumped when I felt his body behind mine, his mouth at my ear.

'By the way, by fine, I meant you look fucking gorgeous.'

Then he was walking out the bedroom door and I stared down at my coffee, unable to help the big smile that spread across my face.

**X**

'Leave me alone.' I snapped at Renee.

'Are you okay?' I heard Rose say next to me.

That's weird, why is she here?

Where am I?

I looked up at her confused, blinking rapidly as the cafeteria came into focus.

The others were all staring at me curiously.

I must have fallen asleep.

'What?' I asked confused

'You were saying….' Rose frowned.

'Sorry, I talk in my sleep.' I said quickly.

'Baby bells, you weren't asleep.' Emmett said nervously.

_Fuck._

I felt Paul's fingers gently stroke up my back and I relaxed a little, sighing.

I guess I should come clean about the PCP.

I grimaced. 'Shit sorry guys I took some heavy shit a few days ago and I guess I'm still tweaking.'

Rose nodded understandingly. 'Is that why you three skipped?'

I swallowed. 'Um yeah.'

She stared at me for a second, then nodded and turned to Embry, continuing a conversation that I'd obviously missed the first part of.

Emmett was on his phone, his fingers dancing over Rosalie's arm and Paul was still skimming his fingers down my spine.

I took a second to appreciate how fucking awesome my friends were, then shook my head and carried on pushing my food around on my plate.

My phone started ringing and I picked it up straight away when I saw it was Jasper.

'Jas!' I exclaimed.

Paul's hand left my back and I felt the loss, glancing at him in the corner of my eye.

He was staring at the table, his expression unreadable.

'Hey.' Jasper answered, his tone ambiguous.

Did he not win?

'How was it?' I asked nervously.

There was a pause and I bit my lip worriedly.

'Fuckin' awesome. I won all my heats.'

'Yay.' I grinned, at the others. 'He won.'

I put him on loudspeaker as they all congratulated him and he laughed.

'Thanks guys. Looking forward to celebrating this weekend.'

'You're back to just me.' I told him, switching the phone back and holding it to my ear.

'I got scouted baby.' Jasper said excitedly. 'California want me and you'll never guess the other college.'

'Who?' I said, smiling.

'Harvard.' He laughed happily. 'If I get this next comp too they want to offer me the full ride Bella. Fucking Harvard. My parents are fucking psyched.'

'Holy shit that's amazing.' I said, grinning. 'Well done.'

'Thanks darlin'.' Jasper grinned. 'The team are going to go celebrate now and then my parents want to take me out for dinner. There's a big party tonight at one of the guys houses.'

'That's so nice.' I said, wondering if he was going to ask me to come.

'But I'll see you tomorrow right?' He asked, I bit my lip, feeling my stomach plummet a little.

I thought I'd be seeing him today.

I knew he _wasn't_ rejecting me, and it was perfectly normal for him to be going out for dinner with his parents and then with his team mates.

Besides, it's not like I could come to dinner with his parents…they didn't even know I existed.

And that was my choice more than Jasper's.

Plus, he hadn't asked any of us to the party.

There's the sound of laughing and cheering and Jasper's muffled voice for a moment.

'The king can't talk now Bella he's got _shots to do_.' Aiden, one of Jasper's team mates howls.

'Sure no problem, tell Jasper I'll-'

The sound cut off before I could finish and I trailed off, taking the phone from my ear and placing it on the table.

Rose shot me a look and I smiled at her, but it felt forced.

I was being completely pathetic.

I knew that.

Paul was drumming his fingers on the table and I stared down at his hand, biting my lip.

'Paul!'

I didn't bother to disguise my grimace as Kate walked over.

'Hey sugar.' He shot her a flirty smile and I sighed.

She bent to whisper in his ear, her blonde hair brushing my face.

'Why don't you come over tonight?' She said huskily.

I scowled. She actually smelt really nice.

Fuck. What if he says yes?

Will he leave me in the house?

Will I have to find somewhere else to go?

Where would I go?

To my alarm, I felt my eyes well up with tears and I swallowed heavily.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

Paul's eyes met mine and he frowned at me.

I blinked away my tears and stood up, walking out of the cafeteria and straight into the bathroom where I placed my hands on a sink, trying to stop the sobs that were threatening to leave my throat.

'Bella?' I heard Rose say softly behind me.

'Don't.' I managed to say. 'Don't ask me what's wrong, because I'm fucking fin-

She tugged my arm and pulled me into a tight hug, squeezing me.

'I thought you weren't a hugger.' I said, trying to be snarky and failing, my voice practically shaking.

'Shut up.' She laughed softly, pressing her head into my shoulder.

Then I was properly crying, tears falling from my face rapidly.

'Oh Bella.' Rose said softly, rubbing my back.

I just couldn't seem to stop.

The bathroom door crashed open and Rose made an exasperated sound.

'Paul I've got her.'

'Rose, just let me, please.' I heard him plead.

Rose let me go gently and immediately I was swept up in Paul's arms.

As soon as I breathed him in I started crying even harder and I buried my face into his neck, gripping him tightly.

'What happened?' Rose asked worriedly. 'I've never seen her like this.'

'I think it's just the come down.' Paul said softly, kissing my head. 'She's gonna be fine though, don't worry, I've got her.'

'Let me take you home baby.' He murmured in my ear.

The bell went, ringing loudly right next to us.

'Rose can you make sure no one's in the hall. I'm gonna take her out of here.'

'Okay, Bella please call me later?' She said, her hand rubbing my back again.

'Y-yeah.' I sobbed.

When we got to Paul's car, he pulled out immediately and I brought my knees up to my chest, tears still running down my face.

I didn't even realise the car had stopped when he pulled me out of my seat, gently lifting me into his arms.

He sat down on the sofa and I didn't bother moving out of his lap, crying quietly into his chest as he stroked my back.

'What's the matter?' He murmured.

'I…don't…know…' I sobbed. 'I can't…stop.'

'Okay I'm gonna call in sick for you, you can't go to work like this.'

I cried for hours, or at least I think it was hours.

When I stopped, I just felt…numb.

'Bella, what's the matter?' Paul asked me worriedly, holding my face.

I stared at him blankly. My body felt like lead, a heavy weight resting on my chest.

'Nothing.'

'Bella…' Paul murmured, 'Please, talk to me.'

'Paul, I don't feel anything.' I stared up at him. 'I'm…everything feels…'

'Shit, okay. Um…' Paul swallowed heavily, grabbing his phone and looking something up. 'Okay I'm going to call Jasper, stay right here okay? Don't move.'

'Okay.' I said monotonously, staring out in front of me.

The weight in my chest kept getting heavier, there was this inexplicable feeling of hopelessness building inside me and I didn't understand.

I blinked and Paul was sitting in front of me, looking worriedly into my eyes.

'How you feeling?'

'Same.' I said softly.

He stroked my hair behind my ear. 'It's gonna be okay baby, just the comedown.'

'I feel really…'

'Why don't you have a shower and go to bed?' He rubbed his thumb over my cheek. 'You'll feel better in the morning.'

When I got into the shower I just felt worse, and ended up sitting on the floor, staring at the wall again.

The door crashed open and I glanced up confused.

'Jesus Bella.' Paul groaned, putting his head in his hands. 'You've been in there for like 40 minutes. I called your name 20 times I was worried you'd….' He trailed off, frowning. 'Why are you sitting on the floor?'

'I just…felt like it.' I said quietly.

Paul stared at me for a second and then came to the door and opened it, stepping inside the shower and sitting on the wet floor next to me, water darkening his clothes and making them stick to his skin.

'I'm naked.'

He shrugged. 'Seen it before, remember?'

'You're getting wet.'

'I don't care.' He said softly, leaning his back against the wall. The water was falling in his eyes, his brown hair flattening against his head.

I sighed, resting my chin on my knees.

Some time passed, I wasn't sure how long, but then Paul moved behind me.

'Want me to wash your hair?' He asked me, stroking my hair behind my ear and kissing my head.

I shrugged and heard rustling before his hands touched my head, gently rubbing in the shampoo.

I closed my eyes as his fingers rubbed into my scalp.

Then he started talking. At first, I didn't really pay attention but when he started talking about Transformers I tuned in, listening to his deep voice as he talked to himself.

'Here's my question – and I know the later movies kind of touch on it – but why did everything happen in America? Why is that the only place the autobots came to? And you know when Megatron was searching for the all spark, how come he…'

I burst into tears when Paul finished conditioning my hair and he sat himself behind me, holding me tightly.

'It's okay.' He soothed.

'I…I know.' I sobbed. 'I feel b-better, it's j-just….'

'Shhh.'

Eventually I stopped crying again, the weight in my chest starting to finally disappear.

Paul got out the shower first, grabbing me a towel and wrapping me in it. He sent me to the spare room so he could get out of the wet clothes but I ignored him and went to his room instead, pulling on some of his clothes and crawling into the bed, burying my face in his pillow.

I heard him sigh when he came into the room, but after some rustling around he got in the bed with me.

'Thank you. Again.' I said softly from my side of the bed.

He hummed. 'It's okay, I've had a rough comedown before, besides you've got a lot to deal with right now.'

'I don't know what I'd do without you.' I admitted quietly.

Paul didn't say anything, just flicked off the light.

I sighed and then his warm arms were wrapping around my torso, pulling me back against his body. He kissed the back of my neck gently.

'You'll never have to find out.' He murmured, so quietly I wasn't sure if I imagined it.

**X**

'Come _on_.' Paul urged me, gesturing to the coffee I was supposed to be drinking.

I glared at him. 'Stop rushing me.'

I'd woken up with a slightly clearer head, and I felt a lot better, Paul on the other hand, had been in a terrible mood all morning. I felt like he was mad at me, but I couldn't figure out why.

Was it because he had to look after me last night? Did I mess up his plans?

'You're going to make us late.' He huffed, gesturing to my body. 'You're not even fucking dressed yet.'

I scowled at him, 'Sorry for wanting a coffee and a piece of fucking toast first.'

'Just go get dressed.' Paul begged me in an exasperated tone, running a hand through his messy brown hair.

I stood up, slamming my coffee cup on the kitchen island.

'Fine. But I want to point out that you haven't even said good fucking morning to me and you're being a class A asshole today. Whatever I did to make you mad at me just fucking tell me so I can fix it.'

I started walking out the door then was pulled back into a warm body, strong arms wrapping around my middle.

Heat shot down my spine.

'Good fucking morning.' Paul murmured in my ear, his hot breath against my skin making me shiver.

I swallowed, struggling out of his hold.

'Not forgiven.' I declared, forcing my expression to stay nonchalant, even though my heart was racing in my chest.

He chuckled at me, rolling his brown eyes. 'Fine, I'm _sorry_ for being a, how did you put it? Class A asshole. I'm not mad at _you_ Bella.'

I frowned. 'Then who are you mad at?'

There was a knock at the front door and Paul's face darkened.

'Are you going to get that?' I asked him confused.

He grimaced and then turned to walk upstairs.

'You can get it.'

I stared up at him bewildered and then walked to the front door, turning the key in the lock and opening it.

Jasper stood in the doorway in a black T-shirt and faded jeans. He looked as gorgeous as usual, but a little rough around the edges, appearing slightly disheveled, his blue eyes bloodshot.

'Hey.' He said softly, stepping forwards and wrapping me in his arms.

I buried my face in his neck and breathed him in.

I laughed against his skin. 'You smell like a brewery.'

'I feel like I've drunk an entire brewery.' He mumbled into my hair.

I pulled back, smiling at him.

His eyes were troubled and I frowned.

'What's wrong?'

He sighed. 'I'm just…I'm sorry I didn't come over last night.'

I shifted.

'You were celebrating.' I said, shrugging. 'It's fine.'

Jasper placed his hands on my hips and tugged me closer gently. 'Paul called in the afternoon and said you were…not dealing. I should have…left and come here. I'm sorry.'

Something in my chest sunk at the realisation he'd spoken to Paul and not cared enough to show up. I swallowed heavily.

'I'm sorry he called you…'

Jasper's eyes searched mine. 'No Bella, he was right to call and I should have come, I just…I was drunk and I…sometimes I'm just an ass I'm really sorry baby.'

'Glad you can admit it.' Paul said stonily from behind me.

I turned to glare at him and he shrugged at me.

Jasper sighed and I turned back to face him.

He bent his head and kissed my cheek softly, his minty breath washing over my mouth, I shivered and he smiled against my skin, pulling back and cupping my face with his hands.

'I'm really sorry darlin', I'll make it up to you I promise. Are you feeling okay today?'

I nodded and he smiled sweetly at me. 'That's good. Do you…am I forgiven?' He stated at me beseechingly, his baby blue eyes like bottomless pools as they surveyed mine.

I nodded. 'It's fine.'

Jasper hummed and gave me a soft smile before leaning in and kissing me gently, his lips brushing over mine. I shivered again and he kissed his way to my jaw.

'Go get dressed Bella.' Paul said from behind me, sounding even more angry than before.

I turned to face him and he nodded at the stairs.

Well at least now I knew it wasn't me he was mad at.

I hesitated. I didn't want them to have an argument.

Paul shot me a look.

'Tenemos que irnos o llegaremos tarde. Solo quiero hablar con el, está bien, lo prometon,'

_We need to leave or we'll be late. It's fine I promise. I just want to talk to him._

I sighed and then extricated myself from Jasper, giving him a small smile before turning and walking past Paul.

'I hate it when you two do that.' Jasper said in an irritated voice, walking into the kitchen, Paul following closely behind him.

I grimaced as I got to the top of the stairs and heard raised voices.

Shit.

When I came back downstairs Jasper was sitting at the counter with his head in his arms, groaning softly as Paul clattered around the kitchen unnecessarily.

I rolled my eyes.

'Thought we were in a rush.' I said, placing a hand on my hip as I raised an eyebrow at Paul.

He narrowed his eyes at me.

'Ugh I don't want to go. Can we just stay here today?' Jasper groaned.

'You'll feel better if you don't wallow in it.' Paul said sharply.

I stepped behind Jasper and kissed his cheek.

'I have a good hangover cure.' I murmured into his ear, biting the ear lobe softly.

He shot up, his blue eyes suddenly brighter. 'What are we waiting for? Let's go.'

'Did you drive?' I asked Jasper curiously, not sure if he was road safe in his current state.

He laughed. 'Barely. Want to drive instead?'

'Fuck yeah.' I practically snatched the keys out his hand and he laughed.

'You may as well come in my car dude.' He said to Paul, raising an eyebrow. 'We're all coming back here later anyway.'

I smiled at him. 'You're staying tonight?'

He pulled me in to his arms and kissed me softly. 'Yeah.' He murmured against my mouth. 'Nowhere else I'd rather be baby.'

'Shot gun.' Paul said, grabbing the keys from my hand, unlocking the car and jumping into the passenger seat.

I looked at Jasper but he just shrugged.

I climbed into the driver's seat and adjusted it, winking at Jasper in the mirror.

He gave me a lazy smile and leant his head against the back rest, closing his eyes.

'Bella, please don't drive too fast.' He teased, 'I may throw up on you.'

I scoffed. 'I don't care, driving this baby slow is a fucking _crime_.'

Paul chuckled softly, putting down the window and resting his elbow on it.

I glanced at him for a second and when our eyes met my heart jumped in my chest.

I pressed the button to turn the car on and sped down the street.

**X**

'Are you ready?' I asked Paul, grabbing a glass from the cupboard and filling it up with water.

He was taking me to work while Jasper had a nap.

I was so fucking nervous about seeing Edward and a big part of me hoped he wouldn't be there.

'Yeah.'

'Have a good shift baby.' Jasper called from the sofa where he was lying, a huge bag of chips on his lap.

The boys were going to order pizza and grab some beers so we could chill and watch a movie when I got back from work.

Jasper was in total binge mode today. He'd been so hungover, honestly it was kind of hilarious watching him try to function, especially because he's normally so chilled.

Lauren had asked to speak to him at break and he'd trailed after her looking like he was going to throw up. Apparently, he still had some stuff at her house, and she wanted him and his family to come for dinner when he got it. The whole thing was kind of uncomfortable, especially because her dad was still good friends with his parents.

I'd spent most of the day with Rose, who clearly had a lot of questions but refused to ask me any. In the end I just dragged her to the smoking area and updated her on what was going on.

I kept things vague about Edward, just saying that I'd figured out how I knew him, and things were awkward between us now. I said the drug thing was because of my mom, and _that_ she didn't ask me about, which I was grateful for, because I wasn't sure I'd be able to even bring it up without crying.

Rose was doing okay, Emmett's mom seemed to be still be doing well after the treatment, so he was spending less time at home and focusing on football again a little. It also meant Rose could stay at Emmett's instead of at home with her mom, who was still driving her insane about college.

'Come on then.' Paul said to me, his eyes flashing slightly.

I knew he wanted to talk to Edward, but I really, really didn't want him to.

I gulped down some water and Paul shot me a concerned look.

I shook my head at him. 'Let's go.'

The drive to the garage was filled with silence. Paul's fingers drummed on the steering wheel and I stared out the window, feeling my chest grow tighter and tighter until I felt like I could barely breathe.

Edward said he was going to be on Susan's service, so I didn't know what that meant for Garrett, or whether I'd have someone new with me or not.

When we pulled up, Paul got out the car first and I undid my seatbelt slowly, swallowing heavily.

It was going to be fine.

'Bella.' Paul said from outside the car, tapping on the window.

I looked up at him and he sighed, opening the door and gently pulling me from the seat.

He wrapped me into a hug and I held him tightly, pressing my face into his neck and breathing him in.

'It's gonna be fine, okay. Just focus on the work.' He kissed my head and then grabbed my hand, walking us towards the line of garages.

'Bella!' Garrett called, walking up with a concerned look on his face. 'How are you doing sugar? I was worried about ya.'

'I'm okay now.' I said to Garrett, stepping towards him.

He held my shoulders and scanned my eyes, looking troubled. 'You don't look like you're okay hon.'

'Gee thanks Gar, are you trying to say I look shit? I look better than you, old man.' I teased softly.

He chuckled and ruffled my hair. 'Aw that's my Bells.'

He turned to Paul. 'Hey Paul, how's it hanging?'

Paul gave an amused smile. 'Long low and to the left.'

Garrett rolled his eyes.

'That is such an old joke.' I complained, 'You'd think that would come from the actual old man, not from-'

My words caught in my throat as Edward walked out of Carlisle's office.

He had a bad cut above his right eye, his arm in a sling.

What the fuck had happened to him?

Paul started striding towards him immediately and my chest lurched.

'Paul.' I warned. He didn't stop, grabbing Edward by the shirt and I ran to them, placing my hand on Paul's arm.

'Paul, _don't_.' I pleaded, glancing down at the line of garages.

Luckily no one seemed to have noticed what was going on.

'You're going to want to let go of me right fucking now.' Edward spat venomously.

Edward was bigger but he was injured, with only one usable arm.

'I'll let go of you when I decide I want to.' Paul said back in a threatening tone.

'Paul, please stop.' I begged. 'Just leave it.'

'No.' Paul said, flicking his gaze to me. 'He _left _you in the middle of nowhere.'

'It was a fucking reserve in the afternoon, she was fine.' Edward snapped.

Paul laughed humourlessly. 'Fine? She was fucking _broken_, you asshole. The minute you left she took enough shit to fuck her up for _days_ and if I hadn't found her, she might be dead. Does that sound fine to you, you fucking ignorant prick.'

Edward's eyes suddenly shot to mine, the startling green making my breath catch in my chest. 'What? Why?'

Paul pulled him tighter, glaring at him. 'Because _her_ fucking mom didn't tell her anything so she didn't know about what happened to you, asshole. She's fucking devastated.'

'Paul, please stop.' I urged brokenly, my eyes filling with tears.

Paul turned to look at me and then sighed, letting go of Edward and shoving him back a little.

'Just leave her alone.' Paul said to Edward, clenching his fists. 'You made your fucking point. You don't want anything to do with her, then fine. Just leave her be.'

Edward stood there, staring down at the floor and Paul gently led me back to Garrett, who was staring at him with a confused expression.

'What's going on?' Garrett asked curiously. 'Did something happen between you and Mason Bella?'

'No.' I said softly. 'It's fine.'

Garrett scoffed at me, not buying it and I swallowed heavily.

Paul wiped my tears away with his thumbs and then smiled at me. 'I'll be back in a few hours to get you, okay?'

I bit my lip and nodded. 'Okay.'

'Really sorry about all that Garrett.' Paul said, sheepishly. 'Just had something I wanted to talk about.'

Garrett nodded, but then his gaze hardened. 'I like you kid, but mess with one of my guys like that again and you aren't allowed back on this property, that clear?'

Paul nodded respectfully. 'Crystal.'

He walked back to his car and I groaned, placing my head in my hand.

'I'm so sorry.' I apologised.

Garrett placed a hand on my shoulder. 'Bella, what's going on? Mason asked to move to Susan's service and then your friend shows up and threatens him? Did something happen?'

'No.' I lied. 'It's fine.'

Garrett frowned. 'Well as I told Mason, he can't just move to Susan 'cos he feels like it. So, if there's shit going on with you two, you need to tell me so I can separate you.'

'He doesn't want to work with me.' I said softly.

'Well that's neither here nor there Bells.' Garrett said, crossing his arms. 'If there's a serious problem then we can move one of you, but not being best friends really isn't an acceptable reason. He doesn't have to like you, you don't have to like him, I need to know if you _can_ work with him. Can you?'

I floundered 'I…Yeah.'

Garrett nodded stiffly. 'That's what he said too, so you can both get over it and just work. I'll keep the teamwork down to a minimum but he needs to teach you, because that's how he _he _learns, so I can't really limit the contact, you gonna be okay?'

'Yeah.' I repeated, more firmly. 'Sorry Garrett.'

He sighed softly and ruffled my hair. 'Come on then kid, radiator needs replacing on this car and the one behind needs an engine repair, let's get it done.'

I focused on the work, and when Edward joined us, we didn't talk to each other, just got on with what's in front of us.

Despite Garrett's words, he didn't ask us to do anything that involved discussion or even working on the same thing at once, so I spent the shift lost in my own work.

I noticed Edward glancing at me a few times, but I forced myself not to look at him, scared I'd just start crying.

Midway through Alex and Jared came over to talk to me, asking where I've been and if I was feeling better.

I was light and playful with them but kept quiet when Alex started talking to Edward.

I heard Paul's car as Garrett and I were finishing the engine. Edward had started it while we did the radiator and then we'd swapped, Edward working on the final details of the other car while Garrett talked me through the repair.

I glanced up and smiled as I saw Paul and Jasper emerge from the car, Jasper looking slightly more perky than he had earlier.

They laughed at something together and I let out a sigh of relief that they'd made up.

Garrett turned to me with a slight laugh. 'Come on kid, not finished yet.'

'I know, I know.' I said, nudging him with my hip.

'She'll be with you in a few minutes fellas.' Garrett said with a grin as the boys approached us.

'That's cool, I haven't seen her do this yet.' Jasper said, shooting me a sexy smile as he tucked his hair behind his ear.

I smiled and continued working, noticing in the corner of my eye, Paul wander off, presumably to find Jared.

'Okay. Grab the scanner Bells.' Garrett said, wiping his hands on his jeans.

I moved to our workstation to grab it and then handed it to him.

'We green?' I asked, wiping some sweat from my brow.

'Yep.' Garrett said, shooting me a smile. 'All done, great work.'

'Nice one baby.' Jasper said, holding out his arms.

I rolled my eyes and stepped into them, laughing when he dipped me and kissed me on the mouth.

'Stop.' I grinned, pulling out of his arms and swatting him playfully.

He smirked. 'But you look so cute like that, covered in oil and all sweaty.'

His blue eyes glinted.

'Shut up.' I groaned. 'Garrett, this is Jasper, Jasper, this is my boss Garrett.'

'Nice to meet you Jasper.' Garrett said, shaking his hand.

Paul came back, laughing with Jared at something and Jared widened his eyes when he saw Jasper.

'Wow.' He mouthed at me.

I rolled my eyes.

'Okay stop embarrassing me now guys, let's go.' I said to Paul and Jasper, groaning when Alex, Seth and Sam came to see what was going on.

'Who's this _Bella_?' Alex said, grinning at me slyly. 'Have you replaced me already?'

'It was never serious between us 'Lex.' I teased, 'You know I only wanted you for your body.'

'Oh god, that's my call to leave.' Garrett groaned, walking over to Carlisle's office.

'I'm just joking Gar.' I called with a laugh.

'No she isn't!' Alex said cheerfully. 'What we had was love B.'

'He wishes.' Sam said to Jasper.

Seth chuckled. 'Yeah he really does.'

Alex grinned, shrugging. 'I'm not denying.'

'Oh, stop it Alex.' I groaned.

'Am I making your boyfriend jealous?' Alex teased. 'Say, which one _is_ the boyfriend Bella?'

I huffed. 'Neither.'

'Our little player.' Sam said heartfeltly.

'Guys.' I hissed. 'You're so embarrassing.'

I made a face at Paul and Jasper but they were smiling at the easy banter.

'Aw.' Alex said, holding a hand to his heart. 'You're breaking my heart B.'

I rolled my eyes.

'So, we already know this is Paul, but this one is…?' Jared said, grinning at me.

'Jasper.' I said, glancing over at him with a smile.

Jasper smiled back at me.

'And Jasper isn't the boyfriend?' Jared continued, winking at me as I turned to face him.

I glared at him.

'Well I'm pretty sure there was kissing Seth, did you see kissing?' Sam said conspiratorially.

'I did Sam.' Seth said seriously. 'There was definitely kissing.'

'You all suck, so much.' I groaned, burying my head in my hands.

'So, what's with the kissing Bells?' Jared teased.

Jasper came to my defence with a slight laugh. 'We're just hanging out.' He shot me a smirk. 'Haven't gotten her to date me yet.'

Seth and Sam howled at that and I laughed, 'Come on guys, get back to work. I'm going now anyway.'

'We missed you.' Sam said, ruffling my hair.

'Yeah B, no more sick days.' Alex picked me up and spun me around.

'Ugh, you're gonna _make me_ sick.' I protested.

'Mace, you missed little Bella too right?' Seth called out.

I stiffened in Alex's arms and he looked down at me with a frown.

'What's u-' I clapped my hand over his mouth and gave him a warning look.

He shrugged and I moved my hand, my eyes darting to where Edward was standing at the back of the other car.

Intense emerald eyes locked with mine for a moment, making me shiver and feel like I was going to cry all at once. Then he looked away. 'No.'

Jasper frowned a little and Sam shook his head.

'He doesn't mean it dude. That's just Mace. He was asking about her when she didn't come to work.' Sam said with a grin.

'He was?' Paul and I asked at the same time.

Sam frowned. 'Yeah.'

Paul glared at Edward and I sighed.

'Right, let's go, remember, pizza…beer.' I said, grabbing Paul's arm.

'Oh, are we invited?' Seth grinned.

'Nope, not now, not ever gorgeous.' I said, stepping forward and kissing him on the cheek.

'Jeez Bells, hope Natalie doesn't find out about that.' Alex joked. 'She'll be throwing down with you for Seth.'

'I happen to get on very well with Natalie.' I said smirking, 'Maybe I'll fight Seth for _her_.'

Seth's wife, Natalie, was really nice, she was absolutely gorgeous too, they made a really good looking couple. She often came to pick Seth up from work on weekends and if he was still working she just hung out with me.

'Oh my.' Alex said, clasping his heart with a grin.

'I'm going!' I laughed. 'See you all tomorrow.'

**X**

When we got through Paul's door, Jasper wrapped his arms around my thighs and picked me up and started walking upstairs with me.

'Order the pizza dude.' He called to Paul as he nipped at my neck.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, staring down at him curiously.

'I believe I was promised a hangover cure.' He said playfully, nudging his head against my boobs.

I bit back a moan when he grabbed my ass, placing a kiss on my neck.

I glanced back down the stairs.

Paul was staring down at the floor, his face withdrawn.

I frowned but then we were at the top of the stairs and Jasper let me down, pinning me against the wall and kissing me fiercely. I lost myself in the feel of his tongue against mine.

My body felt electrified at his touch, lust catapulting through me as I tugged his T-shirt up, my hands running over his hard, muscled body.

His skin was so hot and he felt so good.

He walked us into the guest room and pulled off my shirt, his mouth going to my neck and placing hot wet kisses that made me tremble with desire.

'We need to be quick baby, but I'll make it up to you later.' He murmured throatily, spinning me around so my back was against his chest.

'Mm, I've missed you.' He said huskily, running his hands all over my body. He undid my bra and I arched my back into his body as his large hands cupped my breasts, his thumb brushing over my nipples. He groaned, 'Jesus, look how fuckin' sexy you are.'

He was so hard against my ass and I moaned as he rubbed himself against me, holding me tight against his body.

I turned my head to his and our mouths met in a heated kiss as one of his hands moved lower down my body, sliding inside my underwear. I gasped his name and he groaned into my mouth.

'You're so wet baby.' He panted, 'So fucking hot. Can you feel how hard you make me? God I want to be inside of you.'

He teased me, touching me everywhere but where I wanted it most. 'Please.' I whimpered. Then his long digits were pushing inside me and I opened my mouth gasping in pleasure, my hands reaching behind me to touch his cock through his jeans.

'Fuck.' Jasper said throatily, kissing down my neck hungrily.

'God please Jasper.' I moaned, 'I need you.'

He shivered, walking us to the bed. I shimmied out of the underwear that I'd popped into Walmart after school to grab and my new leggings, gasping as Jasper's hands gripped my hips, bending over so my hands rested on the bed.

'Fuck.' I moaned.

'You look so fucking hot like this, _fuck_.' Jasper groaned, squeezing my ass cheeks as he stepped between my legs. 'Bent over and waiting for my cock. Do you want me to fuck you darlin'?'

'God Jasper.' I panted, 'Yes.'

'Ugh.' I cried out as his fingers slid inside of me again.

He tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth and then pulled back from me.

I turned my head to look at him and he surveyed me with dark eyes as he undid his jeans, pulling down his boxers.

I moaned at the sight of his hard cock, bobbing slightly as he pushed his jeans down his legs.

'Jasper.' I whimpered as he grabbed a condom and slid it on himself, wrapping his hand around his thick cock as he looked at me, his eyes stormy with desire.

'God fuck me, _please.'_ I gasped.

He groaned stepping towards me and tugging my body back to him.

'Jesus, _fuck_.' I groaned as he slowly slid inside of me.

'Christ.' He panted. 'Bella.'

He was so thick like this, so deep inside of me.

He grabbed my hips and started slamming into me.

My whole body arched and I had to bite my lip to keep quiet.

'Jas-per.' I panted.

'God you feel so good.' He groaned, '_Fuck_.'

I gripped the sheets hard, pushing my body back to meet his thrusts and he moaned, fucking me harder.

'Right there, right fucking there.' I gasped, my head bowing at the intense feeling as he hit my g-spot.

'Right. There. Baby?' Jasper grunted, 'Fuck I can feel you, so fucking tight, look at how good you look with my cock inside of you.'

'Jasper.' I gasped. 'Harder.'

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulling me up so my back was against his chest.

The angle was indescribable and my whole body shook.

'Oh god.' I gasped, turning my head to meet his mouth.

It was a violent kiss, teeth and tongues and I cried out into his mouth as one of his hands slid down between my legs, rubbing my clit.

'Holy fuck, Jasper.' I gasped.

'I want you to cum for me.' He said throatily in my ear. 'I want to feel you cum all over my cock baby.'

'I'm…' I gasped. 'I'm right there…'

'Is that it, baby?' Jasper panted, 'God you feel so fucking good, I love being inside of you, fucking you.'

'Oh god Jasper please.' I cried. 'Don't stop, don't stop.'

'Mm _fuck_ that's it baby girl,' Jasper groaned, 'God I'm gonna cum too, do you want my cum?'

'God Jasper, I'm…' I went silent as the pleasure started to build and my body started shaking.

Then my orgasm hit, and my mouth clashed with Jasper's, my moans muffled by his tongue as he kissed me deeply.

He tore his mouth from mine and groaned low in his throat as he fell over the edge too, his arms tightening around my body.

We were both breathing heavily and Jasper gently lowered us to the bed, collapsing next to me with a groan.

'Fuck that was good.' He said, rubbing his face. 'I'm dead now though. You'll have to carry me downstairs.'

I grinned and leant on my forearm to kiss him, humming as he tangled his hand in my hair, his tongue playfully flicking at mine.

I pulled back with a smile, shivering as his deep blue eyes met mine. 'Can we talk later?' He said softly, kissing my cheek.

'Yeah.' I said, biting my lip. 'Later.'

He gave me a breath-taking smile and I felt my chest flutter.

'God I'm starving.' Jasper said with a yawn, sitting up and taking off the condom with a grimace.

I sighed and got up too, pulling my clothes on.

**X**

'I need to go back to the flat tomorrow, just to get some clothes and shit.' I said dejectedly, sliding off the sofa and onto the floor in front of it, bringing my knees to my chest as I laid back against Paul's shins.

The three of us had managed to get through two gigantic pepperoni pizzas and two 6-packs of beer.

It was all too much for Jasper, who was passed out on the other sofa, looking ridiculously cute, his blonde hair mussed up and mouth slightly open.

The three of us had been sitting on the sofa together, but he'd taken himself over there about halfway through the movie.

'I can go for you.' Paul murmured.

I leant back to look up at him. 'Really?'

He nodded, running his hands through my hair gently.

I hummed, smiling up at him. The smile he gave me back made my heart start pounding in my chest but it quickly disappeared, his eyes going back to the movie.

I frowned but he didn't notice, absent-mindedly threading my hair together at the top of my head.

I grinned, 'You know how to braid?'

His face was suddenly guarded and he flicked his eyes down to mine, the deep brown making my breath catch. 'I used to for my mom, before she lost it.'

I reached up to squeeze his hand.

I knew he didn't talk about his mom much and it felt good that he trusted me enough to speak about her to me.

'Will you do mine?' I asked gently.

He didn't answer, but his hands started weaving my hair together.

I kept my head tilted up, staring up at him as he deftly plaited my hair into a French braid.

His fingers felt good as they stroked through my hair and he was really gentle and careful.

My breathing hitched as I stared up at him. The strong line of his jaw had a slight shadow to it, his mouth gently parted as he concentrated.

His eyes were fixed on my hair, the warm brown hypnotisingly deep.

_He was so gorgeous. _

When he finished, he reached down to my wrist and gently tugged the hair tie off me, tying off the braid, his fingers brushing my neck gently. I shivered.

'Thanks.' I breathed out.

He looked at me for a moment, his eyes flickering with something I couldn't place, then nudged my shoulder with his knee.

'I'm pretty beat. I'm going to go to bed.'

I glanced over to Jasper. 'Yeah…okay. Um, you go up and I'll tidy up down here and then drag this one upstairs.'

Paul's jaw tightened a little then he nodded. He stood up and I got to my feet too, stretching my arms above my head.

He stared at me for a second, like he was debating something, then gently tugged me into his arms.

I breathed him in, hugging him back tightly.

'Night Bella.' He breathed, then he was striding upstairs.

I finished clearing up and then woke Jasper up by straddling his lap, leaning down to kiss him.

He hummed and I felt him smile against my mouth as he gently cupped the back of my head and returned my kiss.

I giggled as he rolled over and we fell to the floor, his body winding me slightly as he landed on top of me.

'Jasper.' I protested laughing.

'Whoops.' He laughed into my neck.

He leant up on his forearms and smiled down at me, his blue eyes bright and burning into mine.

'Mmm that was a good way to wake up.'

I grinned and he leant in to kiss me again, cupping my cheek with his hand.

'I like your hair like this.' He hummed against my mouth.

I shifted, something wrenching in my chest as I remembered staring up at Paul as he plaited it.

'What's wrong?' Jasper asked me, pulling back with a frown.

'Nothing I just…did you still want to talk?' I asked him softly, staring up at him.

He nodded, his blue eyes scanning mine. 'Yeah. Now?'

'Can I smoke?' I asked him, biting my lip.

He leant down to kiss my neck softly. 'Sure baby, let's go outside.'

Jasper groaned as I lit my cigarette. 'I can't wait for the next comp to be over. I'm going to appreciate every single cig I swear.'

I laughed. 'How are you gonna cope when you're drunk at the party tomorrow?'

He smirked naughtily. 'I was thinking…' He ran his hand up my thigh softly, kissing up my neck, 'I would distract myself by fucking my girl's brains out in the bathroom.'

I moaned softly and he nipped at my jaw, a glint in his eye.

'So…' Jasper said softly, turning my head gently to face his.

'So,' I repeated, biting my lip.

Jasper swallowed, his eyes searching mine. 'I'm really sorry about yesterday darlin'. I should have been with you, and when you were high, I'm sorry I left, I don't want you to think that you're not important to me, because you are.'

I sighed as I looked into his baby blues. 'I know.' I said softly.

'Do you want to…that is, if you feel like you can, why did you…what happened with-'

'I want to tell you.' I interrupted, 'but can you promise me something?' I took a deep drag and flicked my ash next to me.

Jasper nodded, his eyes intense as they looked into mine.

'Just…don't say anything until I'm done, okay?'

He wrapped his hand around my calf and nodded. 'Okay baby.'

I told him everything, staring out at the garden. He was quiet the whole time, but I was glad I couldn't see his face.

When I finished I didn't turn to look at him, just breathed out slowly, resting my head on my knees, tears running down my cheeks.

'I'm so sorry darlin'.' Jasper said softly, moving to kneel in front of me.

I swallowed, looking up into his eyes and he cupped my cheeks, kissing my tears away.

'I don't know what else I can say right now. She doesn't deserve to have you as a daughter.'

More tears fell from my eyes and Jasper pressed his forehead to mine. 'I'm so fucking sorry you have to deal with this shit.'

'Are you mad I told Paul first?' I asked him, sniffling.

Jasper swallowed. 'No…I…I should have been with you, I'm so sorry baby.'

I realised he must have thought that I told Paul when I left school on Thursday but didn't bother to correct him.

He hugged me tightly, kissing my head and I relaxed into his arms, breathing him in.

I felt my eyes start to close and was vaguely aware of him carrying me up the stairs.

'Do you want to shower darlin'?' Jasper murmured in my ear.

'No, just sleep.' I mumbled.

'Okay.' Jasper hummed, kissing my head.

I was fast asleep the minute my head hit the pillow.

**X**

The next week passed in a blur. The party on Saturday was really fun, I didn't really drink because I was still feeling the effects of the drugs I took, so I drove and just enjoyed spending time with the others.

Jasper hung out at Paul's all weekend, but then he was back to the crazy training schedule, in time for his next competition.

Living with Paul was…strange. When Jasper was over I used the spare room, but when he wasn't, I always slept with Paul. We argued, at least twice a day, but somehow fell into an easy routine with each other. The more time I spent with him alone, the more confused I started to feel. This was the first time since Jasper and I got together that Paul wasn't ignoring me, or pushing me away, it was like it was before between us, only without the sex. Which incidentally, I couldn't stop thinking about.

I didn't kiss him again, and he didn't kiss me, but I couldn't deny that I wanted to. There was an undercurrent of tension between us, that was continually building, getting stronger and stronger. It was weird because it wasn't purely sexual. Don't get me wrong, I wanted him, it was just, I was content even being near him, just hugging him, sleeping next to him. He made me feel so safe, like he'd protect me. I was starting to crave the feeling I got when I was in his arms.

Phil had called me three times. I hadn't answered, but after the third time he'd texted me.

**Bella, where are you? I came back yesterday and Renee says you haven't been home in a few days. Let me know you're okay. Phil**

I'd replied,

_**I'm fine. Not coming back. Thanks.**_

He'd sent a few more texts asking where I was and why I wasn't coming back, but I didn't bother to reply.

Paul, as promised, had gone to pick up a bunch of my stuff, but apparently Renee hadn't been there, and no Phil either.

Jasper had finished up his last competition today, and was finally free for a couple of months, before the next round of training began.

Everyone was hanging out tonight at Emmett's, he and Rose were cooking some food for us and his mom, it should be a fun evening and I was excited to meet her.

I sighed as I pulled the latch to open the bonnet of the car I was working on. Garrett had left me in charge of it, the job was pretty simple, just a standard vehicle check for insurance.

I'd worked most days this week actually, trying to make up for the hours I missed when I was dealing with all the shit with Edward.

Things with us had been pretty awkward since the confrontation with Paul. I tried my best not to look at him, or get in his way, but sometimes I caught him looking at me, and when Alice came to meet him after work one day, she came up to me and started talking to me, making a gesture at him to come over, which he ignored.

She was kind of strange, but seemed nice enough, and I was desperate to find out about him from her.

Unfortunately, she hadn't really said anything about him, just asked me what school I went to and what I liked to do in my spare time. It was pretty menial, casual conversation, but intriguing at the same time. I didn't know why she wanted to talk to me, but her lack of animosity made me wonder how much she actually knew about Edward and I, and what had happened between us.

I bent over the car, checking the battery with the scanner.

'Uh, Bella, can we talk?' Edward said next to me.

I glanced up at him so fast I hit my head on the roof off the bonnet.

'Shit.' I gasped.

Edward grabbed my face, looking at my head, his emerald eyes concerned.

'Fuck, sorry. Are you okay?'

'Um…yeah.' I said slowly, my eyes wide as I stared up at him. 'W-why d-what-ar-why are you…'

'Are you sure you're okay?' he smirked, quirking an eyebrow.

I sighed and his smile dropped. 'Look I know I've been a…it's just I thought…but then now it's…ah, I just want to talk to you okay?'

'Um, okay.' I said nervously, swallowing. 'Now?'

He seemed to realise all of a sudden that his hands were still on my face and he pulled them away hastily.

Edward frowned and looked around. 'Uh no. Well…if this is the only place you feel comfortable with me. We could-'

'It's fine.' I said softly, my heart racing in my chest.

_He wanted to talk? Did this mean he was willing to…believe me?_

'How about I meet you tomorrow after school?'

Edward nodded, 'Okay, where?'

I sighed. 'Reserve?'

He frowned. 'But last time…'

'Reserve.' I repeated. 'By the swings and the roundabout.'

'I'll be there.' Edward said softly. 'I'm sorry about…your head.'

**A/N**

**Phew. That was a long wait guys I'm so sorry. This story kind of writes itself, but then it ends up with all this extra stuff that kind of clogs up the storyline. Maybe when it's finished I'll pop all the outtakes into another fic, I swear there have been way too many!**

**I think there's about 10 chapters left, which means the story is kind of longer than I anticipated. I also really feel like my writing style has changed while writing this, so I do apologise if what I write now feels slightly different to my first couple of chapters. Believe it or not, those early lemons were the first ones I'd ever written (Maybe it's completely believable lol) but from feedback I hear they're getting better, so that's good news.**

**I am sorry that I'm taking so long to update for you. I'm kind of chronically bad at taking on too many things at once (hence why I've got like 4 of these on the go right now **_**whoops**_**)**

**If you are enjoying this, please do leave me a review. They really make my day.**

**For everyone talking about how much they love Paul, I completely agree, he's probably my favourite character I've ever written, aside from Peter in 'Irresistible' – (Hint hint: go read that).**

**I promise I do have a plan for this story and everything is falling in place as it should. Part of me kind of wants to rewrite the first 6 chapters but I'm going to leave it as it is – this is my first fanfic after all, and it's kind of nice to read for that reason.**

**Lots of love, please, pretty please, leave me a review.**

**P.S That Paul POV is the ONLY other time we'll ever hear from anyone who isn't Bella, except in the outtakes if I do them...**

**P.P.S Apologies for the very long A/N : D**

**Creaatingmadness xx**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

'You're quiet tonight.' Rose murmured to me quietly.

We were curled up on one of the sofa's together watching TV with Emmett's mom while the boys cleaned up.

'Is it because of Edward?' She whispered, raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head at her, glancing over at Emmett's mom.

She'd fallen asleep in the armchair, propped up on one arm.

'No, it's…'

The boys walked into the room, laughing at something and I swallowed heavily as I met Paul's dark eyes.

…

When I'd walked in after work, the only people there already were Rose and Emmett, and they were busy cooking in the kitchen, so I got to meet Emmett's mom, Sophie, on my own.

She'd been sitting on an armchair, reading a book, and had smiled warmly at me when I'd opened the front door.

Emmett had told me to just walk through.

Truthfully I was kind of nervous to meet her. Parents generally didn't like me, well…more like they hated me actually, so I was a little concerned she'd be hostile, or at least cautious.

She was neither.

'You must be Bella!' She greeted me warmly, starting to get up out of the chair.

The movement was obviously harder than she'd expected, because she had to pause halfway up, her face paling slightly.

I dropped my bag and helped her sit back down, 'You don't have to get up.' I said with a smile. 'What are you reading?'

She grinned at me, her smile so like Emmett's it was uncanny.

'Dying for dummies.' She said seriously.

I widened my eyes in shock. 'Oh…um…'

She laughed, her brown eyes lighting up. 'I'm just kidding Bella. Although if there was such a book, it probably would read a mite easier than this…'

I looked at the cover and smirked. 'Sense and Sensibility.'

'It's meant to be a classic.' She sighed.

'Classically boring.' I said with a grin. 'Pride and Prejudice is much better, and even that can be a chore.'

She smiled at me. 'You like to read?'

I bit my lip. 'Sometimes.'

She hummed and gestured to the seat next to her. I sat down, feeling nervous again.

She coughed and a look of pain suddenly crossed her face, making me tense.

'Are you okay?' I asked tentatively, not sure if I was being rude.

'I'm fine.' She said with a shrug.

I shifted nervously and she grabbed my hand with a gentle smile.

'You don't need to be afraid, I'm not goin' to die right now sugar.'

She let go of me as another cough wracked through her and I frowned.

'Don't worry, I'm fine' She said croakily, 'Can you pass some water and those tablets please.'

I immediately grabbed them and gave them to her.

She turned her head from mine towards the kitchen where Emmett was laughing loudly at something.

Her face lit up in a way that made my chest hurt.

The door crashed open.

'Bella!' Emmett said with a grin. 'Mom, have you met Bella?'

Sophie rolled her eyes. 'No sugar, I was just sittin' here next to her waitin' for you to come and introduce us.'

She sat up in her seat and smiled at him, appearing to have energy all of a sudden.

'How you feeling mom?' He asked after he kissed me on the cheek, placing a hand on her head.

'Great!' She said with a wide smile, 'I'm lookin' forward to dinner. It smells delicious.'

Emmett grinned and started to say something, but there was a noise in the kitchen and he widened his eyes. 'Better go check that out, I'm supposed to be helping.' He stage whispered, backing into the kitchen again.

As soon as he left, Mrs. McCarty slumped back in her seat, her eyes flickering slightly and I grabbed her hand worriedly.

'Mrs McCarty?' I asked her, alarmed.

'I'm fine, I'm fine, please call me Sophie.' She said to me, her eyes opening slowly.

She shook her head and then sat up tall again, plastering a smile on her face.

I glanced at the door and then back to her. 'Why are you…is the treatment not working?'

Her face hardened slightly. 'Bit of a personal question considering we've just met isn't it?'

I bit my lip. 'I'm sorry I-'

Sophie sighed. 'No, I'm sorry, I don't mean to snap Bella, I'm just…tired. Of course the treatment is working.'

I debated on what to do for a moment before I grabbed her hand.

She looked at me in surprise.

'If you want to act better for him, then I get that, but you don't have to pretend with me, okay? Don't use up your energy. I won't say anything.'

Her eyes suddenly filled with tears and she sunk back into the sofa again.

'I'm so sorry Bella, I-

'Can I get you anything?' I said softly.

She smiled weakly. 'You're a sweet girl.'

I fought a laugh. 'I haven't been called that before.'

It was silent for a minute.

'It's not working.' She said, her eyes meeting mine sadly. 'They called me a few days ago. I have a couple of months, 6 if I'm lucky.'

'I'm so sorry.' I said, feeling choked up.

'I can't bear to tell him.' She looked up at the ceiling. 'He's so hopeful. I just want to give him a few weeks, just a few weeks where he can be happy and not worry about me.'

'Sophie.' Paul said behind us, his voice cracking slightly.

I whipped my head around with wide eyes.

'Paul…' I murmured.

He knelt in front of her. 'Why didn't you say anything. You know he just wants-'

Sophie stroked a hand through his hair, her eyes shimmering. 'I'm so sorry darlin', I wanted to give you these weeks too. I know how hard this is for you.'

For a second the look on Paul's face was so devastating, I almost burst into tears, but he blinked it away, giving Sophie a big smile.

'Don't worry about me.' He said, holding her hands tightly. 'I'm more than fine. You do whatever you need to do Sophie. I won't tell him anything. But if you need any help you just call me okay? I can come over anytime of day.'

'Me too.' I said, placing my hand on top of both of theirs.

Paul glanced up at me and for a second we just stared at each other. The pull of his deep brown eyes made my whole body jolt.

He looked away first, smiling at Sophie, but it didn't reach his eyes.

She sighed softly and then shook her head at Paul, cupping his cheek. 'No. I can't have you know, and not tell him. It's not right. I'll tell him. But please, let him have tonight. I'll tell him tomorrow. We can be sad tomorrow.'

'Okay.' Paul said, still smiling. 'I'll be right back okay, need to pee.'

He kissed her on the head and then walked out of the room.

I watched him go then glanced at Sophie.

She was studying me curiously, then smiled. 'Go after him then. I'll get back to my book.'

'Are you sure I can't…'

'Go Bella.' She waved her hand.

I ran out of the room and upstairs.

Paul was standing on the landing, his hands resting on a windowsill, his body bent over slightly.

'Paul.' I said softly.

He didn't say anything.

I stepped closer and rested my hand on his back.

His body was trembling and my heart sunk.

'Paul.' I repeated gently.

'Bella, don't.' He said shakily.

'I-'

He stood up abruptly, shaking me off and walked towards Emmett's bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

I stared at the door for a second.

Fuck. That.

I stepped forwards and opened it, shutting it behind me.

'Paul I-

'What?' He snapped, avoiding my gaze. '_Fucking what_?'

I walked up until I was standing right in front of him and he looked up at the ceiling.

'Paul, just look at me, please.' I said softly.

He swallowed, his head tilting down slowly as his eyes met mine.

They were glistening and my heart broke in my chest.

I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

He didn't respond to my hug for a moment, then slowly he dropped his head to my shoulder, his arms wrapping around my back.

I felt his body tremble and I held him tighter, kissing his neck.

'It's okay.' I murmured.

I felt hot tears splash against the bare skin at my shoulder and I started running my fingers through his hair.

'Shh.' I soothed.

He clutched me tightly. 'I'm so sorry baby.' I breathed. 'I'm so sorry.'

'I can't do this again.' Paul choked.

I pulled back, feeling my own eyes well up as I cupped his cheeks, staring into his tear-filled brown eyes. 'Yes, you can. You can. You are so strong.'

He stared at me for a second, tears still running down his cheeks, 'Bella, please.' He murmured, staring intently into my eyes. 'Please make it go away.'

I swallowed, and then his lips were on mine and I could taste salt and we were both kind of crying, but he was walking me backwards and then we were on a bed and his tongue was in my mouth.

My body arched up into his as he kissed me fiercely and my fingers went into his hair, my legs falling open as his body pressed between my thighs.

Oh _god. _

It had been so long since I'd touched him like this, and the desire that ran through my body at the feel of his skin against mine was electrifying, like it had been lying dormant under my skin until the very moment he touched me.

I angled my head to kiss him deeper, moaning into his mouth as he cradled my face with his large hands.

Somehow, I ended up on top of him, straddling his hips as he tangled his hand in my hair, kissing me even deeper, his tongue licking at mine, breathy moans falling from both of our mouths as our lower bodies rubbed against each other.

His cock was rock hard, thick and pressing right against my heated centre, a deep ache forming in the pit of my belly as I rocked my hips over his.

His hands gripped my ass and ground me on him tightly, his low groan swallowed by my mouth as I licked at his tongue, the taste of him making my eyes roll back in my head.

It had been so long since I'd been with him like this and every touch felt like it was burning through my skin and searing me. I wanted more, I wanted _him_.

I felt like I was drowning, and he was the only thing holding me afloat.

'Paul.' I moaned into his mouth.

I sucked his lower lip and he groaned deeply, the sound causing a deep ache in the pit of my stomach.

He sat up, his hot hands sliding up the bare skin under my shirt, which he then grabbed, breaking the kiss to lift it over my head, his mouth dropping to my chest and placing wet, open-mouthed kisses that made me tremble and pant his name.

He looked at me with dark, hooded eyes and I shivered as he undid my bra with one hand and threw it aside. I whimpered at the low groan that fell from his lips as he stared down at my bare chest. My eyes rolled back in my head as his large hands cupped my breasts, my hard nipples pressing into his warm palms. I arched into his touch and his mouth met mine, hot and wet, insistent.

His thumbs circled my nipples and I rocked myself over his hard cock, desperate to relieve the ache between my legs.

He murmured my name again and again, like it was a prayer and I cried out as his mouth moved down my neck, capturing my nipple and sucking it, his tongue rough and wet against my pebbled peak.

Each suck sent a tug of pleasure shooting through my body and straight to my core, my arousal building between my legs.

I couldn't stop touching him, my hands under his shirt and feeling his hot skin, shivering at the feel of his muscles tensing under my fingertips.

His mouth met mine again, slow and deep, and as he pulled back my heart skipped a beat in my chest at the sight of his warm brown eyes.

I tugged off his t-shirt, kissing across his chest, my head tilting back in pleasure as he slid his palm down my stomach, his fingertips slipping underneath the material of my jeans.

I reached down to undo the button and zip as Paul placed hot kisses along my jaw, his other hand cupping the back of my head as his thumb stroked my cheekbone.

I moved my hand as soon as my jeans were open and we both cried out as he travelled downwards, his eyes rolling back into his head as his fingers met my slick centre.

He groaned low in his throat and he pushed aside my underwear gently, his fingers teasing my entrance.

I moaned his name and he pulled back, sucking on my neck and then licking down my chest and across my nipples. He gently bit down on one as his fingers pushed inside of me and I lost it, throwing my head back and crying out his name as he filled me with deep, teasing strokes.

I grabbed his hair and pulled his mouth to mine, needing to taste him, kiss him.

His lips moved fiercely against mine and I rocked myself against his hand, pleasure building in the pit of my stomach.

'_Fuck_ I need you.' He groaned into my mouth.

'Pa-ul, please.' I whimpered.

He pulled back, breathing heavily as he moved his hand from between my legs and brought it to his mouth, moaning as he sucked on his fingers.

So, fucking hot.

I clashed my mouth to his in a frenzy, sucking his tongue into my mouth and shivering at the guttural groan that left his throat, his chest vibrating as it met mine, his hand tangling in my hair.

He was so fucking hard between my legs and I wanted him inside of me, needed him.

'Fuck.' He panted as we both pulled back for air. The hungry look in his eyes made me whimper his name and then his mouth was on mine again, one of his hands sliding behind my back as he got to his knees, lifting me up and then pulling me into his body as he lay down on top of me. My eyes rolled back in my head as I wrapped my legs around his waist, my hands sliding down his back as his mouth devoured mine.

'Holy shit!'

I pulled back from Paul in alarm and turned my head sideways, my heart sinking in my chest.

Emmett was standing in the door wide eyed, shaking his head.

He closed the door and walked off.

'Fuck!' I gasped, jumping off the bed and looking for my bra.

I was still breathing heavily, my heart racing in my chest and my skin tingling from the feel of him.

Paul looked just as shell shocked as me and threw my shirt at me.

'We need to talk about this.' I said to him as I quickly did up my bra.

'I know.' He said, pulling his shirt on and walking towards the door. 'I need to find Emmett.'

He glanced back at me for a second, then shut it behind him.

I sat on the bed with my head in my hands.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

…

'…Bella?'

'What?' I said, glancing up at Jasper.

He rolled his eyes at me and put a hand on his chest. 'Does she do this to anyone else or is it just me that she ignores.'

'It's not just you.' Rose said with a smirk.

'Sorry.' I said sheepishly. 'What was the question.'

'Would you rather watch Predator or Meet the Fockers.'

'Predator, obviously. Meet the Fockers is a classic but hello, Arnold?'

'Yes! See, that's my girl.' Jasper grinned, his blue eyes sparkling.

A flash of guilt went through me and I forced myself not to react.

We still weren't exclusive.

I didn't really have anything to be guilty about.

_Except it's his best friend, _a voice in my head said snarkily.

And let's face it. To Jasper…we _were_ exclusive.

I met Paul's dark gaze and swallowed.

On the surface dinner had been really nice, all of us hanging out and chatting together. Underneath though… Emmett kept staring at me and Paul with a confused look on his face, I was avoiding Paul's gaze like the plague, Sophie was making a dramatic effort to look and appear fine even though she wasn't.

Emmett and Rosalie, though I think we all agreed _more_ Rosalie, had made Coq au vin, which was a delicious red wine and chicken dish with mushrooms and onions. She'd also made a really creamy mashed potato and there was sliced bread and butter too.

I felt awful about what Rose and Emmett would find out tomorrow, like it was wrong that Paul and I knew first. I knew it was Sophie's wish to wait till tomorrow to tell them, it just felt like we were lying to them.

And I felt weird knowing. I didn't even know Sophie, not really. And even though I was really close with Emmett and Rose, we hadn't actually known each other that long. I was interwoven in something deeply personal about someone they loved and it made me feel, odd, like I was charading or something.

And it's not like I was a fucking apostle of truth or anything. I lied all the time. It's just, this felt like a pretence. The whole dinner was just, secrets.

And mostly that was my fault. I had pushed Sophie to tell me, which led to Paul overhearing her, which led to him being upset, which led to him and I almost having sex on Emmett's bed.

God I'm a bad person. I'm definitely going to hell.

I was stirred out of my thoughts again as Jasper slipped behind me on the sofa, his legs resting either side of mine as he pulled me back to his chest.

'Everything okay darlin'? You've been kind of quiet.' He murmured in my ear, placing a sweet kiss on my shoulder. I shivered at the feel of his body behind mine and felt him smile against my skin.

'I'm okay.' I said softly, tangling my fingers with his.

'I'm going to head to bed, you guys enjoy the movie.' Sophie said with a grin, getting out of her chair.

I eyed her worriedly.

'Hey, I'll come up with you and maybe you can you show me that book you were talking about?' I said casually.

Sophie's eyes flashed at me but then she nodded. 'Sure Bella. I know you'll love it.'

I got to my feet and Jasper pouted at me, looking down at the space between his legs. I winked at him and he smirked at me lazily, his crystal blue eyes burning into mine. I felt my heart skip a beat.

I smiled at him, walking over to Sophie.

'After you.' I said jokingly to her as I gestured to the stairs.

I glanced back at the others but they weren't paying any attention to us.

Except for Paul.

Our eyes met and the look he gave me made my knees feel a little weak, my breath catching in my throat.

For Christ's sake. Between the pair of them I was going to have a heart attack.

'I'm okay you know, you didn't have to come up with me.' Sophie said as she stepped into her bedroom.

I shrugged and she smiled, shaking her head.

'Is Paul okay?' Her eyes grew concerned.

I coughed. 'Um. He's…' I sighed. 'No, not really. But he'll be okay.'

She sat herself on the bed and slumped back on the pillow with a heavy sigh.

'Can I get you anything at all?' I asked, wringing my hands together.

'I'm fine Bella, I promise.' She said weakly.

'Water? Medicine? A snack?'

She rolled her eyes at me in a very Emmett-like way. 'Some water would be great, you can fill it up from the tap in the bathroom. There's a pack of pills in there too, could you grab me one of the blue ones.'

I did as she asked and then went downstairs.

'Where's the book? Rose asked me, cocking her head.

Perceptive motherfucking Rose.

'I decided to just buy my own copy.' I lied effortlessly, climbing in between Jasper's legs and humming as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

Being in his arms felt so good.

But… so did being in Paul's.

Things had been confusing between us for a while, but I wasn't confused anymore.

What I'd felt with him upstairs…now I knew without a doubt that I had feelings for him.

I was so unbelievably fucked.

**X**

I've watched TV series where the main character has feelings for two people at once.

Take the Vampire Diaries.

Now that's a love triangle.

Two brothers.

But…Elena had it easy.

Stefan was vanilla for her. It wasn't that he wasn't hot or sweet, it just wasn't passion or fire. Their relationship was mostly effortless (you know aside from him turning evil et cetera, et cetera, which was such an Angel rip off from Buffy, but I digress)

Truthfully, I was always rooting for Damon. And not just because Ian Somerholder is sexy as fuck.

Because it was so fiery between them.

The passion was tangible.

The problem for me was, when I thought about Paul and Jasper…even though they were so different from each other, it was fiery with both of them.

I had passion with them both, amazing sex, chemistry, I could talk to them…

And, regrettably, and to my immense despair, apparently, I was falling for them both.

Obviously, my heart was in my vagina, it's the only acceptable and logical explanation for how the _fuck_ I hadn't realised that I felt that way about Paul.

Because I did.

I really, really fucking did.

And now I was just…fucked.

It had been easy before, when it was just lust. I wanted them both but I wanted Jasper more.

Now that feelings were involved everything felt different.

When Paul and I had been together yesterday…that was…fuck.

It was different to how it was with Jasper.

They were different.

With Jasper, both of our desire was out of control. He'd look at me with those crystal blue eyes, or touch me, and I'd be wet and ready, desperate for him to fuck me. I'd never felt such a deep attraction to someone before. We were insatiable with each other, his hands on my body were like accelerant. And we had a connection too, it wasn't _just_ sex, it was deeper. We cared about each other. Sex wasn't about racing to finish it was about connecting and being close, which had been fucking weird at first, but now it felt like it was the only way _to _have sex. He made me feel good, happy. I loved being with him, even if it was just watching a movie together or sleeping. We rarely argued and things were easy between us, he was so laid back. Being with him was as easy as breathing. But he wanted things from me that I wasn't sure I could ever give him, and he was such a different person, with family that actually gave a shit about him and big dreams that would leave me far behind.

With Paul…it was just…I mean yeah I wanted him, we had amazing chemistry and yesterday when we'd been together I felt like my whole body was burning under his hands but it wasn't even _just_ a sexual thing, it just felt so fucking right. I craved his touch, his hands on me, I wanted to be as close to him as fucking possible. He was always there for me, more than anyone else in my life, even Jasper. And we had this…energy. Like we understood each other in ways nobody else could ever breach. Emotions always ran so high with Paul, he made me feel so many things at once, like I was drowning in them, and his touch was the only thing holding me steady. It was turbulent and chaotic with us, and also painful. I felt like I needed him desperately, too much maybe. He was my best friend…I didn't know what I would do without him. But I felt like Paul was always slipping through my fingers, like I could never truly catch him and keep him still.

The way I felt about them…I liked them both and even worse was the fact that I knew if I let myself it could be more.

Love.

That was a terrifying fucking concept.

Everyone I'd ever loved had betrayed me in some way or another.

Paul and Jasper probably wouldn't be any different.

Unless…they were.

Ugh. I was in so way, way over my head…what did I fucking want?

Jasper liked me too, I knew that, but Paul….I had no way of knowing if he felt anything towards me.

And what did my feelings even mean?

Did I want a relationship? Did I want a boyfriend?

I considered what it would be like having Jasper as my boyfriend, calling him mine. Meeting his parents…I grimaced.

Maybe not that part. But other than that, how different would that be from how things were now?

It made sense to be with Jasper. We kind of already were. Since Peter I hadn't slept with anyone else and he hadn't slept with anyone else either, I assumed he'd have told me if he did, not that he even had time for that with swimming anyway.

And it would be easy, committing to Jasper, because except for Paul, I didn't want anyone else. We'd have great sex and great conversations and I didn't think Jasper would hurt me. Maybe that was naïve of me, but I just…didn't think he could. We'd be perfect together, we had so much in common and he was funny and sweet and sensitive and thoughtful.

And Paul…

Paul made me feel all twisted up inside. He'd hate the idea of being someone's boyfriend. He'd never want it, and the title wouldn't work with him anyway. He was less and more than a boyfriend, he was just…Paul. I didn't even know if he could do a relationship, I didn't even know if I could. But if we did…to know he was mine, to not have anyone else touch him, to only be with him…I could do that. Having Paul to myself, being able to kiss him and touch him. I trusted him more than anyone else in the world. It wouldn't be simple it would be all consuming, fiery, and we'd probably fight and scream at each other sometimes. But he looks fucking sexy when he's pissed off, and all the fighting would just mean we'd probably have a lot of hot angry sex.

I sighed.

Fuck.

What was wrong with me?

I wanted them both, but that was wrong.

I couldn't have them both.

And if I wanted Paul…it would ruin their friendship.

I was so _fucked_.

My feelings for them were different, but equally strong.

I needed to know if Paul felt the same as me. If he didn't…

There was a wrenching sensation in my chest.

It would be simpler but it would really fucking hurt.

I needed to talk to Paul, and I needed to tell Jasper that I'd kissed Paul. Emmett said he wouldn't say anything but it wasn't right that Jasper didn't know, and maybe when he found out it would be the last straw for him.

Ugh it was so complicated and I just wasn't ready for either of those conversations right now. I didn't know what I was going to fucking say.

So I was avoiding them.

When Paul, Jasper and I got back from Emmett's, I'd feigned exhaustion and gone straight to bed, which Jasper had actually been grateful for, his eyes barely open anyway after competing.

In the morning I'd woken up at 6 and gone for a run before either of them woke up, then driven myself to the nature reserve to smoke for a bit before school, texting them to say I had something to handle and I'd meet them there.

At school I'd managed to successfully avoid both of them for the most part. Jasper was in meetings with his coach most of the day anyway and I ran to the smoking area at all available chances.

Now I was sitting on a swing in the reserve, waiting for Edward, because that conversation, even though it was fucking terrifying at least had a more simple outcome.

He'd either say he didn't believe me and that would be the end of that, or he'd say he did, and then we would…talk.

I kicked my feet back and the swing made a rusty noise. To my immense surprise it moved quite well and I swung back and forth gently as I stared out at the water.

The longer I sat here the more nervous I started to feel.

On second thought maybe this conversation was-

'Hi.'

I glanced up sharply.

Edward was staring down at me with his hands in his pockets.

He was in a pair of black joggers and a grey top, his bronze hair in its usual disarray, eyes obscured by black shades.

'Hi.' I echoed.

He pulled the sunglasses off and threw them on the floor by us with his keys and a pack of cigarettes, and then carefully sat in the swing next to me.

We were both silent.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him so I kept my eyes forwards, feeling tension building across my chest.

'I-' Edward started to say at the same time I did.

We trailed off awkwardly.

I pushed myself forwards and backwards again, the clanking of the seat with the chain sounding far too loud.

Edward sighed exasperatedly.

'For fucks sake Bella would you just look at me. I'm not going to fucking bite you.'

I carefully turned my head towards him, feeling a jolt go through me as I stared into his vibrant green eyes.

I swallowed. 'I don't know what to say.'

Edward snorted. 'That's unlike you.'

I frowned and he grimaced. 'Why is this so fucking awkward.'

'Probably because the last time we spoke you said-'

'I know what I said.' He snapped, his body tensing for a moment before he breathed out slowly.

I stared down at his arm.

'How did you break your arm.'

Edward gave me an exasperated look.

I shrugged.

He sighed at me. 'It's just a sprain…and I picked a fight and didn't fight back.'

'Why?' I asked curiously.

He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes flashing. 'Because I was fucking pissed off at you, and pissed at myself for giving a fuck.' He exhaled sharply. 'I wanted to hate you.'

'Do you?' I asked weakly.

Edward held my gaze then sighed as he turned to stare out the water. 'I could never hate you Bella.'

'Ed, I didn't-'

He swallowed, 'I don't understand how. How could you not know?'

'When I left, that day. That's the last time I spoke to… Charlie.' I choked out his name. 'She told me it would be better to start fresh, with a new phone. I tried to call you.' I looked down at my lap, 'When I first found out. But you didn't answer, and I thought…you said you were done and that you didn't want to be my friend anymore, I didn't want to pester you. So I….I said yes when she said about the new number and I didn't want any reminder of Forks, I didn't want to know anything about them, or hear about you and how you'd probably forgotten all about me.' My eyes burned. 'I asked her to give your mo…to get my number to you, and she said she did. I guess I just assumed you didn't want to talk to me.'

'But she fucking knew Bella. She knew…'

I turned to him, hot spikes burning in my eyes. 'But _I didn't_. She didn't tell me, okay? I didn't fucking know, and I'm so so fucking sorry.'

He looked slightly taken aback but frowned at me. 'What did she say when you told her you knew.'

I laughed humourlessly. 'I haven't been back since Edward. I doubt she'd even know what I was talking about anyway, she's fucking wasted all the time.'

He was silent for a minute then he shook his head. 'What a fucking bitch.'

I choked a laugh.

'You really didn't know?' He asked gruffly.

I stared into his vibrant eyes, 'I really, really didn't Edward. I swear.'

There was a lengthy pause and I felt like my heart was in my throat.

'Okay.' He said carefully.

'I'm so sorry.' I said, fighting against the tears that started pooling in my eyes.

'Can I…can I…' I gestured with my arms, not sure how to ask him for a hug.

He swallowed and then nodded.

I stepped up at the same time as he did and then I wrapped my arms around him tightly, bursting into tears.

'I'm so fucking sorry.' I sobbed into his chest.

His hands tentatively wrapped around my body and then with a small sigh, he buried his face into my neck, gripping me tightly.

We stood there for a few minutes, the world around me falling away as I held onto him.

It felt so good to be in his arms, like I was 15 again and everything was okay in both of our lives.

I pulled back, still crying. 'I'm sorry for crying, you should be the one crying. No, that's not what I meant, I mean I just…I don't deserve to…'

'Shut up.' Edward said, shaking his head. 'You can cry. I know you loved her.'

'I should've called.' I cried. 'I just thought she wouldn't want to talk to me either, after things happened with you, I didn't…I should have tried to call.'

Edward's eyes burned. 'Listen Sparrow, if she'd…I know she'd have dragged me to wherever you were or probably threatened your mom to find out so we could make up and be friends again. She'd never have let you go without keeping in touch.'

'Edward, I should have been there.' I cried, my heart breaking in my chest. 'I should've been with you.'

His face darkened and he stepped back from me. 'Well you weren't Bella. I know it wasn't your fault, but you fucking weren't there.'

'What happened Ed, how did…were you hurt too?'

His eyes flashed with agony and he sat down on the swing. 'I'm not fucking talking about it.'

'Okay.' I said, wiping my tears and sitting on my swing too. 'I'm sorry.'

'Stop apologising. Please.' He snapped, running a hand through his hair.

He looked tortured and I felt my stomach sink.

I needed to change the subject.

'Alice seems nice.' I said hurriedly.

'Mmhmm.'

'She's your…sister?'

Edward opened his eyes to look at me, his body losing some of the tension it was holding. 'Foster sister.' He reached down for a cigarette and held the pack to me. 'She's actually the one who convinced me you were probably telling the truth.'

I took one gratefully and caught the lighter he threw at me after he lit his.

'How…where did you…'

He exhaled smoke and then raised an eyebrow at me. 'Don't be afraid to ask me shit Bella. If I don't want to answer I just fucking won't.'

'I got it.' I said quickly 'Did you go to Texas straight away? Has Alice been your foster sister this whole time?'

Edward shook his head sharply. 'No, this is my 6th place, and the last one. I'm 18 next week so…'

I knew that.

'What so they kick you out?'

Edward shook his head at me but didn't say anything else.

Won't fucking answer indeed.

'What's it like?'

Edward smirked at me. 'Foster care? Oh it's great Bella, you'd love it.'

I shifted uneasily and he sighed. 'I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be a dick. Just…what do you fucking think?'

I glanced down at his arm and then looked up at him with alarm. 'Is it…safe?'

He threw his cigarette on the floor and stamped it out.

'Safer than the street. Can't complain when there's a roof over your head.'

'Do they hurt you?' I asked worriedly, remembering the sight of Alice's arm.

Edward stiffened but then shrugged. 'It's not bad, most of the time. Just when he's drunk.'

He turned to look at me sharply all of a sudden, his green eyes intense. 'When she's drinking she doesn't hurt you does she?'

I grimaced. 'Not on purpose.'

His eyes suddenly dropped to my arm and his face hardened. 'Was that her?'

I followed his gaze and then sighed. 'It was an accident. I was fine.'

He shook his head and then tightened his hands on the swing.

'Do you fight back?' I asked, swallowing heavily.

'If I have to.' Edward said darkly. 'If he touches Alice…But I've been crashing at people's houses whenever he's been drinking and she stays at friends houses.'

'People?' I asked, cocking my head.

He shrugged, the corner of his mouth turning up. 'Just go to a bar, find someone, let them take me home.'

My chest ached for him and I sighed softly.

'The other homes, were they like this too?'

Edward grimaces. 'The first two were good, they just didn't have space. Then it got…well. This is better.'

'I'm sorry.' I murmured.

'Don't be.' Edward shrugged. 'It is what it is. I have Alice. I'm saving up to get us an apartment, she wants to go to the local college. I left school so I could work, earn more. This is what I want to do anyway. Cars are simple. Logical.'

He could have done anything. Gone to any college. He was so smart.

But I wasn't going to judge him for making the best of a shit situation.

'That's why I like them too.' I said softly.

'I know.' Edward glanced up at me.

For a second we held eye contact and then I smiled at him.

He smiled back, and for just a second, he was my Edward again.

Then he looked away and it was gone.

We were silent for a while.

'I'm sorry I didn't recognise you.' I said carefully.

Edward scoffed. 'Yeah what the fuck?'

I turned to him nervously but he didn't look angry.

He rolled his eyes at me. 'I'm over it. I was over it when we met last time. You just pissed me off all over again when you said…'

'I know.' I said meekly.

He studied me curiously. 'How come you didn't recognise me. I don't look _that _different do I?'

I shrugged. 'Well you're bigger, for one.'

Edward tilted his head slightly, his emerald eyes glinting. 'In a lot of ways Sparrow.'

My eyes automatically dropped to his crotch and the corner of his mouth curved up at one side, a crooked smile adorning his face.

I smirked at him, 'Well lucky you. But not what I was referring to exactly. I don't know Ed, it's not just your body and the fact you actually have a jawline and stubble.' I automatically went to touch his face but instead of pushing me away, he moved into my touch and I ran my hand over the slightly rough skin across his jaw.

My breathing hitched as my thumb brushed his bottom lip and Edward tilted his head towards me with a lazy smirk, the black of his eyelashes startling against the emerald of his eyes.

I sighed softly and his smirk grew, his tongue gently flicking out over his bottom lip.

I swallowed heavily as I watched the movement and Edward laughed.

'See that right there.' I said softly, moving my hand from his face. 'That's different.'

He was so confident, arrogant.

Edward shrugged, taking out another cigarette, 'That you're attracted to me?'

I scoffed and Edward raised his eyebrow. 'What? You're not attracted to me? Please. The second you saw me at the garage you wanted me.' He put the cigarette between his lips and winked at me.

I met his gaze, raising my eyebrow back. 'You're pretty cocky these days.'

'Oh, you have no idea baby.' Edward smirked.

I rolled my eyes and took the cigarette from his mouth, and put it in mine, lighting it.

He gave me an amused look.

'Case and point. You're different.' I said, taking a drag. 'You have such a different personality it's kind of…hard to even compare you to how you used to be. And I guess I wasn't expecting you to be here? I don't know Ed. Now that I know it's you I don't really understand how I didn't recognise you before. I don't really have an excuse.'

'You're different too.' Edward said pointedly, taking the cigarette from me as I held it out to him. 'You're tougher. Harder. I mean you're also a lot more assertive but maybe that's just cos' you weren't trying to get in my pants before.'

I frowned at him. 'Hey, I might be more confident about getting what I want these days,' I said softly, 'But I _was_ attracted to you before Edward. I liked you too. I was just too scared to tell you.'

Edward stared at me wide eyed. 'What? Why did you-'

I sighed, 'Because you were so _good_ and I was such a mess. How was I supposed to tell you that I got drunk with _here_ every week_, _that I'd taken a tab, that I'd had sex, more than once.'

Edward shook his head. 'But I knew that.'

'How?' I asked him incredulously.

'Bella it was obvious.' He said frustratedly. 'I knew what you were doing. I didn't care. What pissed me off was when you did things because _she _wanted you to, not because _you_ wanted to.' His face went dark. 'So that fight, where you told me you didn't want me, the fight right before both of our lives fucked up, you were fucking lying?'

I felt my eyes fill with tears. 'I was scared.'

'Fuck Bella.' Edward said exasperatedly.

We fell into silence again.

'If I had been honest…do you think things would have turned out differently?' I said quietly.

'No.' Edward said, his bright green eyes meeting mine. 'But I'd have had you, even if it was just for a minute.'

I started to say 'sorry' but he clamped his hand over my mouth with a smirk. 'Stop fucking apologising.'

I relaxed and he gently removed his hand, his eyes searching mine.

'Do you want to be friends?' I asked him, looking down at my lap.

Edward snorted. 'What are we 5 again?'

I turned to glare at him but he was smiling.

'Yeah Sparrow.' He said softly. 'We can be friends…'

He kicked his feet.

'I'm not trying to get into your pants, by the way.' I said matter of factly.

He smirked, his green eyes playful, 'Hmm, maybe not now, but you were at first.'

I stared into his eyes and then shrugged. 'Fine. I…considered it. Before you acted like a jerk.' I stated. 'Even if it was deserved.' I added hurriedly.

His smirk widened and I rolled my eyes. 'Anyway, it's not like you weren't interested.' I pointed out.

He shrugged. 'If you weren't you, I would've gone for it yeah.' He smirked 'I mean you were pretty much throwing yourself at me so why not.'

I scoffed angrily. 'I was not _throwing_ myself at you.' Much. 'And it's not like you weren't trying too, you came onto me.'

Edward threw back his head and laughed and I glared at him.

'What?'

He held up his hands. 'I didn't really come onto you, trust me.'

'Yes you did.' I said firmly.

He shook his head with a smirk.

I huffed in anger. 'Don't act like you would've only wanted me because I was easy. Which I am definitely not by the way.'

Except when boys look like you.

'You wanted me back I could tell. I know you're attracted to me.'

Edward rolled his eyes. 'Of course I'm attracted to you. I've always been attracted to you Sparrow, even when you had those buck teeth and you used to watch transformers literally every day.'

I frowned at him. 'Really?'

Edward smirked at me. 'Mmhm. Well I guess it's slightly different, I didn't think about fucking you on my bike when we were 13.'

My mouth dropped open slightly, a jolt of lust snapping down my spine at the image his words put into my head.

His smirk grew, his voice taking a low seductive tone, 'You like that idea Sparrow?'

'Edward.' I said, my voice more breathy than I intended. 'What are you doing?'

Edward gazed intently into my eyes as his hand fingertips ran down my back lightly, making my mouth part. His fingers skimmed across my side and along the side of my ass before his palm rested gently on my upper thigh, sending goosebumps in his wake. My breathing hitched.

All the sexual tension that had been building between us since we started working together flooded through me.

This was Edward. I couldn't feel like this about him.

'I think you thought about it too, when you were on the bike with me. Did you?' He murmured in a low tone that made my lower stomach clench, 'Did you want to slide your hands down my body and touch my cock, see if I was hard for you? It made you wet didn't it, feeling the power of the bike vibrating between your legs, your body pressed against mine.'

Fuck. Me.

His hand was so hot it felt like it was burning through my jeans.

I found myself nodding and his hand slid up my thigh slightly, the green of his eyes darkening to a bottomless verdant.

My lower stomach flipped, heat rising through my body.

Edward smirked, biting his lip.

I looked down at his mouth with a gulp, wondering what he'd taste like, what his lips would feel like on mine.

He leant in towards my mouth and then diverted his lips last second, to my ear.

'See.' He murmured huskily. 'If I was coming on to you, you would have ended up cumming _all over me_.'

Holy fuck.

My heart was pounding in my chest and I shivered as he pulled back with a smirk.

'Edward.' I chastised, biting my lip.

He widened his eyes innocently. 'What?'

'I thought we said we'd be friends.'

'Am I not being friendly?' He smirked, tilting his head at me.

'Ed just stop.' I said, biting my lip.

His smile widened. 'Stop what?'

I stared at him pointedly.

Edward tilted his head at me, looking at me through thick black lashes. 'I'm just playing.'

'I don't want to play.' I said, frowning a little.

Green eyes burned into mine as he ran his thumb across my cheek and then my lower lip.

'Yes, you do.' He murmured huskily.

I stood up hastily and Edward stared up at me, smirking.

My pulse was thundering in my ears.

'Okay whatever you made your point.'

He shrugged laughing softly. 'I know.'

'You're kind of an asshole.' I breathed out irritatedly.

He gave me a crooked smile, making my heart skip a beat in my chest. 'Don't be grumpy Sparrow.'

'Well it's not like I used my best moves on you.' I snapped.

He raised his eyebrows with a smirk, 'Do you want to try out your moves on me Sparrow?' He licked his bottom lip and I forced my eyes away from his seductive verdant gaze.

I swallowed heavily. 'No.'

He laughed huskily. 'Why not?'

I sighed. 'Because it's a bad idea.'

As much as my body wanted him, the fact it was Edward was way too confusing for me.

Plus, I was all messed up inside over Paul and Jasper.

He grinned. 'You think I won't be able to resist? Well now you really do have to show me.'

'Would you resist?' I asked him seriously, raising an eyebrow.

He shrugged, his green eyes glinting as his they slid down my body, lingering on my tits in a way that made my nipples harden in my T-shirt. 'No promises.'

'Edward.' I said frustratedly. 'Why are you being like this?'

He met my gaze and then stood up, stepping towards me so I had to look up to keep eye contact.

He was so close I could feel the heat from his body, like he was pressed against me.

'Because I want to fuck you.' He said in a low seductive tone, his green eyes burning into mine.

A jolt of desire snapped down my spine. I was breathing heavily from his proximity, my heart racing in my chest, then all of a sudden it hit me that this was _Edward._

The same guy who was innocent and never used to swear, who was one of the sweetest and most caring people I'd ever known.

And now he was a completely different person.

My eyes filled with tears and his eyes widened, alarm crossing his features.

'Shit Bella, I'm sorry I didn't mean to…'

I shook my head, tears running down my cheeks. 'I'm sorry, it's just you're so different.' I cried, 'It-it's hard to process. I want us to be friends again, you're the only thing I have left from before. I don't have anything else, you're the closest thing I have to family and I've missed you so much.'

He pulled me into his arms tightly and I sobbed into his chest.

'I'm sorry Sparrow, okay.' He murmured into my hair. 'I didn't mean it. Well no, I did but I just…that's not what…fuck. I'm sorry, okay? I just don't know how to be around you. You confuse me, my head is so fucked up being near you again. You're my Bella and you're not, I don't know how to act with you. You bring back all these feelings and memories that I just…shit. I'm sorry.'

I clutched at him tightly. 'It's okay.'

'No. It's not…I just. It's hard Bella. I want you the way I've always wanted you and there's just so much…there. Normally if I'm attracted to someone I just fu…and it's not like that with you and it shouldn't be like that anyway, but I j…ah fuck I'm probably saying this all wrong I'm-

'No…I get it.' I said softly.

'I want you in my life again.' He said, tilting my head up with his hands and pressing his forehead to mine. 'But I'm not the same person Sparrow. Who I was before…he's gone. I might have the same memories but I'm not _him. _I'm an asshole a lot of the time and I'm probably going to say shit that pisses you off and I'm-'

'We just need to get to know each other again.' I interrupted with a sigh. 'We're both so different. We need to start fresh.'

I pulled back and he wiped my tears with his thumbs. 'Starting fresh sounds good.' He swallowed, searching my eyes. 'And I'll be good now I promise.'

'Me too.' I said firmly.

He gave me a crooked smile and I felt my lips part automatically.

God he was…really fucking attractive. More than that those green eyes were the same ones I'd grown up looking into, he was the first person I'd ever liked, the first person I'd _wanted _to kiss me, even if I never got the chance.

I bit my lip.

His gaze dropped to my mouth for a moment and then his eyes met mine, the deep green of them making my breath catch.

He smirked at me. 'Don't look at me like that, it makes it very hard not to kiss you.'

'Well don't put me in that position.' I said, shoving him away and crossing my arms.

His smirk grew and my eyes dropped to his perfect mouth. 'Is there a position you'd prefer.'

I forced my gaze upwards, an angry retort on my lips but his eyes were light and playful, not dark and sensual like before so I just smacked him playfully instead.

He laughed.

We sat back down on the swings.

'I really am sorry.' He said, running a hand through his hair.

'It's okay.' I replied, kicking my feet. 'It's not like I don't…want you.'

Edward smirked. 'I know.'

I rolled my eyes at him. 'But it would be a really bad idea. Friends shouldn't cross that line, it complicates things.'

He nodded, his voice softer. 'I know.'

'Plus, I'm kind of…emotionally involved.' I said, struggling to think of how to describe my feelings for Paul and Jasper.

Edward raised his eyebrows. 'With that blonde guy you were kissing or the one who manhandled me, Paul was it?'

I was slightly taken aback that he remembered his name.

'Honestly, both.'

Edward stared at me for a moment and then laughed. 'Shit. Like…the three of you…at the same time…' He raised an eyebrow smirking.

'No!' I said, laughing. I hesitated, 'I was with Paul first. Now Jasper, but then yesterday Paul and I…it's…complicated.'

I glanced to Edward nervous he'd be judging me but he just looked amused.

'Well good luck with that shitstorm. This is exactly why I never fuck someone more than once.'

I turned to face him fully, with a glare. 'That's helpful advice Edward thanks.'

He shrugged, his green eyes playful.

'I have so many questions.' I asked, swinging higher.

Edward hummed. 'You ask me, I ask you. But like I said before if I don't want to answer I –

'Fucking won't.' I finished with a smirk. 'Same here.'

Edward smiled at me crookedly and I sighed.

'When did you first have sex?' I asked him curiously.

He laughed loudly. 'Of course that's what you ask first.' He glanced at me under his eyelashes. 'Home number two, when I had my growth spurt and started running. Girl called Kira. She was a few years older. I was kind of mystified she wanted to fuck me but after her they kind of just started throwing themselves at me, so...' He smirked. 'I got used to it.'

I rolled my eyes.

'Same question.' He said interestedly.

I swallowed. 'It was just after my 15th birthday. Went to this guys apartment with Ta…and yeah.'

Edward frowned. 'Apartment? How old was he?'

I looked away. '24 I think. It was…fine. He had nice eyes.'

'Fuck.' Edward growled.

I turned to look at him and he looked furious. 'That fucking girl Bella. That guy was an asshole too. How could he even want someone that young.'

'I looked older.'

He glared at me. 'No, you didn't. I remember what you looked like. It doesn't matter how much makeup you were wearing or your outfit. 15 year olds don't look like adults Bella.'

I bristled. 'It was fine.'

'I wish…' he sighed. 'I wish you'd never met her.'

'So do I.' I said quietly.

'Fuck. I'm sorry. I know you do.' Edward said remorsefully.

I cleared my throat. 'Have you ever had a girlfriend?'

He shook his head. 'Nope. Not planning on it either. I've only ever liked one girl.'

I bit my lip as I met his green eyes, 'Me?'

He smirked. 'You wish Sparrow.'

I shoved him and he grinned, swinging higher.

'Same question.' He said, glancing at me curiously.

'No. Never.' I swallowed. 'Jasper's the first person I've even dated.'

'Do you still like Harry Potter?' I asked quietly, wondering if any part of him was still my Edward.

He glanced up at me with a smirk.

'Always.'

I laughed. 'I see what you did there.'

He gave me a crooked smile. 'How about you? Have you finally found a decent favourite movie or is it still that pile of shit T-'

'Don't even start.' I snapped.

He burst out laughing. 'Even the newest one Bella? Come on it's not even remotely good.'

I lifted my chin up. 'I disagree. Besides, you obviously watched it…'

His eyes met mine suddenly, intense and green and just Edward.

'It reminded me of you.'

I practically flung myself off the swing and into his arms and he winced as he moved his arm out the way.

'Fuck Bella.' He growled softly, softening the blow of his words by kissing my head and wrapping his good arm around me.

'Hey, what was that convo with Carlisle about?' I asked him, sitting on his lap as he swung us forwards and backwards gently.

Edward sighed. 'He noticed I was hurt and he's been looking out for me ever since. Alice and I stayed there one night, I was working and she turned up and he'd…anyway Carlisle took us home with him, his wife is a nurse.'

I tangled my fingers with his and he sighed softly.

'How come you're going by Mason?'

He swallowed, his eyes flashing with pain.

'It was my mom's maiden name, Mason is my last name now so.'

'Oh.' I said softly. 'Ed I'm so-'

He nudged me off his lap and I went to sit back on my swing, looking down.

We were quiet for a while.

I wanted to cheer him up but I didn't really know how anymore.

'Want to see who can get higher?' I asked playfully, glancing up at him from under my eyelashes.

'You're such a child.' He chastised, then he grinned and kicked up really hard off the ground, the chains of the swing screeching. 'Just so you know there's no way in fucking hell I'm gonna flip off this thing at the end.'

'Boring.' I sung, kicking myself up too.

I hadn't been on a swing in a really long time. I forgot how good it felt with the wind blowing through my hair and the feeling of falling backwards through the air.

Edward let out an exhilarated laugh next to me and I turned to him and smiled.

When I hit the high point at the back, I rolled backwards to somersault off, something that I'd been doing since I was 6.

I landed and grinned and then swore when I realised I forgot to jump back, so the swing hit me in the gut.

'Man down.' I gasped dramatically, falling back onto the grass.

I heard Edward burst into laughter next to me and the clanging of the chains as he slowed the swing down.

His face appeared above mine with a slight grin, his green eyes bright as he stared down at me.

'Rookie.'

I glared at him and tugged him down to the floor too.

He swore and carefully rolled so he didn't hurt his arm and I winced guiltily.

'Sorry that was stupid of me. I keep forgetting.' I apologised, turning my head to face him.

He just smiled softly. 'You and your fucking apologies Sparrow. You should be Canadian.'

I grinned. 'That's a myth.'

'Not according to Ryan Reynolds.' Edward said with a sly grin.

It's exactly what he would have said when we were kids and I felt my chest ache at how easy we were conversing again, unable to help the big smile that crossed my face.

'Are we okay?' I asked him, propping myself up on my forearm to look at him.

He tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled at me. 'Yeah. I forgot how easy it is with you.'

'Stop calling me easy.' I teased. He laughed loudly, placing his good arm behind his head.

'I really did fucking miss you.' He said seriously.

'Me too.' I sighed, moving over to lay my head on his chest, my leg resting across his thigh in the way we always used to lie.

He hummed and I felt a deep contentment wash over me.

We continued asking each other questions, but neither of us pressed for anything major, just small things, like music and likes and dislikes, trying to get to know each other again.

I was so absorbed in Edward that it wasn't until we left that I remembered I still had to talk to Paul and Jasper.

Fuck.

**A/N – They're finally friends again. **_**Sigh. **_

**Give Edward some time, I know he's a bit of an asshole but he kind of has a right to be. **

**This chapter was a heavy one emotionally for a lot of characters.**

**Did you enjoy it?!**

**Things are coming to a head. Bella has finally realised she has feelings for Paul. **

**What do you think will happen next?**

**Please read and review and thank you for all the lovely words of encouragement and for following and favoriting the story xxxxx**


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